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(Daily Mail)   Does coffee or hot tea perk you up in the morning? OMG Stop DRINKING it   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 28
    More: Interesting, physical dependence, Bristol University, alertness, scientific papers, coffee drinkers, reaction times, Biological Psychology, drinking  
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18188 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Jun 2013 at 6:25 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-06-18 12:41:55 AM
8 votes:
Wait, you're supposed to drink your tea in the morning? I thought it was called "teabagging" because you're supposed to dip your balls in it. That always woke me up real quick in the morning.
2013-06-18 08:20:20 AM
7 votes:
cdn.shopify.com
2013-06-18 07:53:39 AM
5 votes:
'They just don't function normally without the drug on board. If it's your first tea or coffee of the day, it gets you back to normal, but beyond that you don't get much more of a kick.'
Professor Rogers has studied coffee and its effects for more than 20 years and, as a result, he and other members of his team have given up caffeine.
'On balance, caffeine is not particularly helpful. It triggers withdrawal and increases your blood pressure, which is not a good thing,' he says.



catmacros.files.wordpress.com

Okay, Sparky.  Let me 'splain a few things to you.

I love my caffeine. I love my coffee, my tea, my chocolate-covered coffee beans.  Caffeine is the last thing I cherish on this gottforsaken shiatball.  The people around me are still alive solely because the sweet elixir transforms me back into something vaguely resembling a human being, capable of higher reasoning skills beyond SMIRKY SMASH.  Without it, I will become something less than human.  And, oh yes, there will be blood.  And screaming.  And death.  It will not be pretty.

Yes, I will choke a biatch.  I will kill you, skin you and sew your flabby, pallid skin into a hat and coat fit for a hobo before I give up my caffeine.
2013-06-18 12:16:10 AM
5 votes:
Hooked? Oh fark you. You ever suck dick for coffee?

gs1.wac.edgecastcdn.net
2013-06-18 03:08:23 AM
4 votes:
I can quit any time I want. I just don't want to quit, you assholes.

www.digitaldorm.com
2013-06-18 01:44:58 AM
4 votes:
'People who consume caffeine regularly will become dependent on it - if you take caffeine away from them, they will function below par,'

Then don't take it away. Seriously I WILL CUT YOU!
2013-06-18 08:42:27 AM
3 votes:
www.behindthevoiceactors.com

"Coffee just like I like my women: black, bitter and preferably fair trade."
2013-06-18 08:00:58 AM
2 votes:

YoOjo: Drugs are neither good nor bad, they do not exist.


"Today, a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration - that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively. There's no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we're the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the weather."
2013-06-18 07:43:25 AM
2 votes:
"Top scientists" reveal that "reading" the Daily Mail may give you "cancer".

/preparing myself for the glut of Daily Fail links we seem to get every so often.
//Also, oblig
2013-06-18 07:34:23 AM
2 votes:
No more than 100 cups a day. It's just common sense, people.

Any less and the janitorial staff starts whining about the staff entrails littering the hallways.
2013-06-18 07:03:02 AM
2 votes:
So, my morning cup of rum is still good, right?
2013-06-18 12:23:09 AM
2 votes:
Lies.  That article is a bunch of damn lies. (twitch)
2013-06-19 01:33:19 PM
1 votes:
*shares coffee with Smirky*
2013-06-18 03:37:52 PM
1 votes:

Smirky the Wonder Chimp: 'They just don't function normally without the drug on board. If it's your first tea or coffee of the day, it gets you back to normal, but beyond that you don't get much more of a kick.'
Professor Rogers has studied coffee and its effects for more than 20 years and, as a result, he and other members of his team have given up caffeine.
'On balance, caffeine is not particularly helpful. It triggers withdrawal and increases your blood pressure, which is not a good thing,' he says.


[catmacros.files.wordpress.com image 710x600]

Okay, Sparky.  Let me 'splain a few things to you.

I love my caffeine. I love my coffee, my tea, my chocolate-covered coffee beans.  Caffeine is the last thing I cherish on this gottforsaken shiatball.  The people around me are still alive solely because the sweet elixir transforms me back into something vaguely resembling a human being, capable of higher reasoning skills beyond SMIRKY SMASH.  Without it, I will become something less than human.  And, oh yes, there will be blood.  And screaming.  And death.  It will not be pretty.

Yes, I will choke a biatch.  I will kill you, skin you and sew your flabby, pallid skin into a hat and coat fit for a hobo before I give up my caffeine.


I came here to say "not from my cold, dead, twitching fingers".  I would be honored to sign up for your newsletter, even though I am not worthy.
2013-06-18 02:16:59 PM
1 votes:
Before I got laid off, I would drink a pot before I even left the house and another half pot on the drive in.  Typically didnt drink much more coffee until the end of the day.

Touch my Coffee and I will gut you with the other pot after I finish it.
2013-06-18 01:28:44 PM
1 votes:
ii nkoww howt much cfffee is too much foffee.

i cnan quit atnytim.e/.
2013-06-18 12:22:04 PM
1 votes:
I used to have daily headaches all my life before i started drinking coffee.. the coffee cured it. so Coffee is awsome.... It also cured my constipation! :D
2013-06-18 10:02:05 AM
1 votes:
Burr: Coffee just like I like my women: black, bitter and preferably fair trade.

hot, cheap, and available at the 7-11
2013-06-18 09:42:26 AM
1 votes:
Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop drinking coffee.

i.imgur.com
2013-06-18 08:17:03 AM
1 votes:
Next they'll be saying that my morning lines are addictive.
2013-06-18 08:16:49 AM
1 votes:

God Is My Co-Pirate: Deep Contact: According to Edgar Cayce, coffee is actually healthy until you add stuff to it, ... 5-6 large cups of strong fresh black coffee will have no adverse effects on the body.

What, and somehow a spoonful of milk turns the coffee into TEH EVILZ?


Once you go black you never go back.
2013-06-18 08:02:40 AM
1 votes:

bunner: "Spin it again. Maybe it'll land on hot dogs or cheese. I like coffee."


www.roadfood.com

Not good for you, but oh so good.
2013-06-18 07:58:50 AM
1 votes:
"So, what's bad for people this week?"

*spin*

"Coffee."

"Spin it again.  Maybe it'll land on hot dogs or cheese.  I like coffee."
2013-06-18 07:15:33 AM
1 votes:

xanadian: Everything's bad for you, everything will kill you, you may as well stay curled up under your desk until you starve to death.


Under? The bosses wont like that. You curl up at your keyboard and spreadsheet until you fall out! We're not paying you a pittance for nothing!
2013-06-18 06:48:56 AM
1 votes:
Coffee and caffeine aren't real, like any other drug they are figments of our collective imagination designed by the marketers of the ruling class, deceiving us into a placebo effect feeling of wellness and happiness.
We may as well start the day with a steaming cup of pure LSD, it's about as likely to be real as that $5 milk and water concoction you have in a death-grip.
Drugs are neither good nor bad, they do not exist.
2013-06-18 06:48:18 AM
1 votes:
I just splash it on my face these days.
2013-06-18 06:45:19 AM
1 votes:
So I should administer it intravenously or...?
2013-06-18 06:36:34 AM
1 votes:
Two words: cold; dead; hands.
 
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