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(KATU)   If you are pulled over for DUI, offering the cop a beer and telling him you are a government assassin will catch him off-guard. You'll still go to jail, but at least you made him think a little bit   (katu.com) divider line 21
    More: Amusing, traffic fatalities  
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3450 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Jun 2013 at 3:40 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-06-18 03:47:28 AM
Leon?
 
2013-06-18 03:54:51 AM
What would the cop had done if the guy handed him a large dildo and claimed to be a government agent?

/inquiring minds want to know.
 
2013-06-18 04:06:38 AM
Whenever I get pulled over I just tell them I'm from the Internet.
 
2013-06-18 04:07:20 AM
Hand the cop a joint and say you're with the DEA. At least enjoy your last moment of freedom.
 
2013-06-18 04:12:10 AM
I once got out of a speeding ticket by telling the cop that I was on my way to a BBQ and offering him a bratwurst.  I could tell he was a bratwurst lover because he had mustard on his holster, and he got winded walking the distance from his car to mine.

Oh wait, that didn't happen to me.  I saw it on an episode of How I Met Your Mother.
 
2013-06-18 04:13:37 AM
www.gnu-glasses.com
 
2013-06-18 05:37:45 AM
One rule of government assassin club is never talk about it (outside of the company).
 
2013-06-18 05:59:07 AM
Yay public!
 
2013-06-18 06:00:57 AM

Gyrfalcon: Hand the cop a joint and say you're with the DEA. At least enjoy your last moment of freedom.


I remember ages ago we had a story here about a guy who crashed into a house while drunk driving.  The stunned homeowner watched as the guy got out of his truck, looked around, then reached in to grab a beer, cracked it open and stood there sipping on it while waiting for the cops to show up.  When they asked him why he did that, he said he figured he should get drunk one last time before they put him in jail forever.

As much as I dislike what the man did, I have to admire his style.

/Also it made it difficult for the prosecution to prove that he didn't get drunk AFTER the crash, not before
 
2013-06-18 07:17:58 AM

yukichigai: Also it made it difficult for the prosecution to prove that he didn't get drunk AFTER the crash, not before


Good point! I'm gonna put an emergency case of whisky in my car to down while waiting for the cops after a crash.
 
2013-06-18 07:44:58 AM
"And because of that, we potentially avoided a very serious traffic accident, likely injuries or death," Lowery said. "Mr. Medina was very intoxicated, based on what I've seen in the report. There's no doubt he could have caused a great deal of trouble."

Well, no shiat. He's a government assassin.
 
2013-06-18 08:01:20 AM
The suspected drunk driver then went on to make several claims that he was a paid assassin for the U.S. government and that he had killed several people on behalf of the governmen

I hope he didn't kill anybody that I like.
 
2013-06-18 08:03:53 AM
Cops hate it when you make them think.  It is not an activity that they are accustomed to.
 
2013-06-18 08:18:24 AM

Marcus Aurelius: Cops hate it when you make them think.  It is not an activity that they are accustomed to.


Especially if they have to pick out a donut.
 
2013-06-18 08:33:15 AM

On-Off: yukichigai: Also it made it difficult for the prosecution to prove that he didn't get drunk AFTER the crash, not before

Good point! I'm gonna put an emergency case of whisky in my car to down while waiting for the cops after a crash.


Reminds me of a joke.

A young lady is speeding along the road one night, not paying attention. She ends up rear ending another driver who was doing the speed limit and crashes the both of them into a guard rail. Both cars are totalled, but both drivers are unhurt. The other driver crawls out of his car, looks at the damage, and says 'Wow, it's a miracle neither of us where hurt." The lady looks in her car and says "Here's another miracle! I have this 30 year old bottle of scotch that I was going to give to my father, but I think this is a sign that we should share this bottle, maybe get to know each other better." The man, whose nerves where still on edge agrees, cracks the bottle open and takes several deep gulps before passing the bottle to the lady. The young girl just shakes her head. He asks "Arn't you gonna have any?" She just smiles and says "No, I think I'll wait for the cops."
 
2013-06-18 09:15:09 AM
I didn't get to Seattle and surrounding area until 3 years ago, but I had a clear understanding of the Kent, WA and King Co demographic from 1990's episodes of Cops.

/financial crimes agent for the govt
//you aren't getting my beer pig!
 
2013-06-18 09:25:25 AM
"Few people understand the psychology of dealing with a highway traffic cop.  Your normal speeder will panic and immediately pull over to the side when he sees the big red light behind him... and then we will start apologizing, begging for mercy.
"This is wrong.  It arouses contempt in the cop-heart."  HST
 
2013-06-18 10:46:35 AM

Billy Bathsalt: "Few people understand the psychology of dealing with a highway traffic cop.  Your normal speeder will panic and immediately pull over to the side when he sees the big red light behind him... and then we will start apologizing, begging for mercy.
"This is wrong.  It arouses contempt in the cop-heart."  HST


I don't think it's wrong to admit that I read that in Johnny Depp's voice.
 
2013-06-18 10:47:03 AM
24.media.tumblr.com

/"His head just did that. I call it the "No Bullet theory."
 
2013-06-18 12:30:14 PM
The first thing I thought of was a friend of myself and my best friend, back in the day... he was from Alabama, the "I love y'all love y'all LOVE Y'ALL.... but I'mma KILL yeew!" type of Alabama. (His name was Bradley Weldon Burns. He went by Weldon.. and he was a welder. He used to tell a story about being in the hospital for welding burns...)

The dude drank constantly, would black out every night, wake up the next day, flash his pretty blue eyes and his best "I'm sorry y'all!" face.. which would set us up for another night of the same.

Everyone got sick of him... so he moved to Florida.

/so ugly you're cute only gets you so far if the ugly runs deep
 
2013-06-18 01:22:43 PM
A normal drunk driver will panic and immediately pull over to the side. This is wrong. It arouses contempt in the cop heart. Make the bastard chase you. He will follow. But he won't know what to make of your blinker signal that says you are about to turn right. This is to let him know you're pulling off for a proper place to talk. It will take him a moment to realize that he's about to make a 180 degree turn at speed, but you will be ready for it. Brace for the g's, and fast heel-toe work.
 
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