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(Ottawa Citizen)   Ottawa residents are deporting unwanted squirrels to Quebec, where they will starve because they don't know the French word for acorn   (ottawacitizen.com) divider line 58
    More: Strange, Quebec, Westboro, Ottawa, French-speaking  
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2797 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Jun 2013 at 9:40 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-06-17 09:43:30 PM
Not this acorn crap again.  Can't you conservatards leave it alone?
 
2013-06-17 09:44:05 PM
Are those those Black varmints?
 
2013-06-17 09:51:49 PM
Not Ottawa - Westboro. Don't tar the rest of us with their crazy antics.
Only in Westboro would it seem smarter to trap and drive squirrels across the bridge than to fix the holes in your damn house.
 
2013-06-17 09:52:12 PM
That's nuts!
 
2013-06-17 09:54:05 PM
www.pitch.com

/Unavailable for comment
 
2013-06-17 09:55:09 PM
media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com

He farts in your general direction
 
2013-06-17 09:55:50 PM
Just teach the fuzz guts how to play hockey.  That should feed them.
 
2013-06-17 09:56:11 PM

denbroc: [www.pitch.com image 355x270]

/Unavailable for comment


Fark that Al Gore follower.
 
2013-06-17 09:56:21 PM
Roche d'écureuils!
 
2013-06-17 09:57:42 PM
That's kind of awesome.
 
2013-06-17 09:59:22 PM

mikewadestr: Just teach the fuzz guts how to play hockey.  That should feed them.


My guts already know how to play hockey, eh.  Don't need no teachin'.
 
2013-06-17 10:00:55 PM
<<écureuil noir>>

Je vous en prie.
 
2013-06-17 10:01:48 PM
"Acorn" in French is "gland."

Have at it, Farkers!
 
2013-06-17 10:07:21 PM
The French word for nut is Québécois.
 
2013-06-17 10:08:55 PM
Laugh all you want. You don't know terror until you've watched a five-pound squirrel climb ten stories up the side of a brick building.
 
2013-06-17 10:11:33 PM
Avez-vous des glands?

farm4.staticflickr.com

Mais, bien sÛr, mon frère.
 
2013-06-17 10:13:17 PM

skinink: The French word for nut is Québécois.


you owe me a keyboard fine sir, well played.
 
2013-06-17 10:20:34 PM
"Squirrels have a reputation in folklore of returning when removed, unless they are taken across a body of water."

Arrr. An idiot's tale told to children.

a248.e.akamai.net

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-06-17 10:30:38 PM
Sacrebleu!
 
2013-06-17 10:32:26 PM
a4cgr.files.wordpress.com

Quel est le problème?
 
2013-06-17 10:32:38 PM
Also, what a waste.  Eat the little farkers.  Squirrel is delicious!
 
2013-06-17 10:34:23 PM

daisygrrl: Not Ottawa - Westboro. Don't tar the rest of us with their crazy antics.
Only in Westboro would it seem smarter to trap and drive squirrels across the bridge than to fix the holes in your damn house.


(waves to another Ottawan)

'deporting' squirrels to the wilderness is a smarter move than exterminating them.    Even so...trapping them in the first place seems to be a crazy move.
 
2013-06-17 10:35:42 PM

daisygrrl: Not Ottawa - Westboro. Don't tar the rest of us with their crazy antics.
Only in Westboro would it seem smarter to trap and drive squirrels across the bridge than to fix the holes in your damn house.


Heh, I live in Westboro and you're not wrong. As long as the squirrel traps are made of organic hemp and have coffee-holders. Of course, I'm moving to Vancouver in a couple of months, so...
 
2013-06-17 10:44:40 PM
This is horrible.  Squirrels are delicious.  You realize how much valuable protein is just being shipped away?
 
2013-06-17 10:45:16 PM
French word for acorn is: atudespeanuts?
 
2013-06-17 10:45:56 PM
Westboro: where they want to be trendy and chic like the Glebe except that:
a. they are next to Mechanicsville and everyone knows dogs don't crap where they sleep (think about it)
b. Why would you want to be like the Glebe when there are about 200 half-way houses there. (dirty little secret that the city has been doing for a while). It was a shock to the wife when she started working at a community centre and found this out.
 
2013-06-17 10:53:15 PM

Infernalist: He farts in your general direction


but his mother WAS a hamster
 
2013-06-17 11:05:04 PM
There is no line that church won't cross...nothing is sacred to them
 
2013-06-17 11:09:40 PM
Where's Eddie? He usually eats these god damn things!
Obscure?
 
2013-06-17 11:12:56 PM

Cyber_Junk: daisygrrl: Not Ottawa - Westboro. Don't tar the rest of us with their crazy antics.
Only in Westboro would it seem smarter to trap and drive squirrels across the bridge than to fix the holes in your damn house.

(waves to another Ottawan)

'deporting' squirrels to the wilderness is a smarter move than exterminating them.    Even so...trapping them in the first place seems to be a crazy move.


Squirrels are highly territorial.  Extremely so.    If a squirrel is removed from 'Westboro' then the empty territory will be filled instantly by squirrels with neighbouring territories.  You won't even notice that a squirrel is missing.   The removed squirrel, having been taken across the Ottawa River to 'ull', will be released in an area without a territory of its own and will be killed by the resident squirrels.

So it is a complete waste of time to trap squirrels and 'humanely' re-locate them.
 
F42
2013-06-17 11:20:31 PM

cnocnanrionnag: without a territory of its own and will be killed by the resident squirrels.

So it is a complete waste of time to trap squirrels and 'humanely' re-locate them.


Of course not, it's helping to evolve super-squirels, adept at combat and able to fashion winter poutine out of buried scraps.
 
2013-06-17 11:23:23 PM

F42: cnocnanrionnag: without a territory of its own and will be killed by the resident squirrels.

So it is a complete waste of time to trap squirrels and 'humanely' re-locate them.

Of course not, it's helping to evolve super-squirels, adept at combat and able to fashion winter poutine out of buried scraps.


As an aside, Winter Poutine is a pretty awesome band name.
 
2013-06-17 11:30:12 PM
They act as though the squirrel is encroaching on us humans, when clearly it's the other way round. Sorry, not a big fan of humans, being one myself, I am aloud to say that.
 
2013-06-17 11:34:12 PM

Sir_Spanksalot: Where's Eddie? He usually eats these god damn things!
Obscure?


Not since he found they were high in cholesterol.
 
2013-06-17 11:45:23 PM
Actually, a lot of people don't realize this, but one of the chief ingredients in traditional Poutine is squirrel b<[---carrier lost --]>
 
2013-06-17 11:46:23 PM

Sir_Spanksalot: Where's Eddie? He usually eats these god damn things!
Obscure?


Really?
said in a sarcastic tone of voice
 
2013-06-17 11:48:26 PM

cnocnanrionnag: Cyber_Junk: daisygrrl: Not Ottawa - Westboro. Don't tar the rest of us with their crazy antics.
Only in Westboro would it seem smarter to trap and drive squirrels across the bridge than to fix the holes in your damn house.

(waves to another Ottawan)

'deporting' squirrels to the wilderness is a smarter move than exterminating them.    Even so...trapping them in the first place seems to be a crazy move.

Squirrels are highly territorial.  Extremely so.    If a squirrel is removed from 'Westboro' then the empty territory will be filled instantly by squirrels with neighbouring territories.  You won't even notice that a squirrel is missing.   The removed squirrel, having been taken across the Ottawa River to 'ull', will be released in an area without a territory of its own and will be killed by the resident squirrels.

So it is a complete waste of time to trap squirrels and 'humanely' re-locate them.


You're right. Half-measures just won't do. There must be some kind of, you know,  final solution to this squirrel problem.
 
2013-06-17 11:49:06 PM

Mambo Bananapatch: cnocnanrionnag: Cyber_Junk: daisygrrl: Not Ottawa - Westboro. Don't tar the rest of us with their crazy antics.
Only in Westboro would it seem smarter to trap and drive squirrels across the bridge than to fix the holes in your damn house.

(waves to another Ottawan)

'deporting' squirrels to the wilderness is a smarter move than exterminating them.    Even so...trapping them in the first place seems to be a crazy move.

Squirrels are highly territorial.  Extremely so.    If a squirrel is removed from 'Westboro' then the empty territory will be filled instantly by squirrels with neighbouring territories.  You won't even notice that a squirrel is missing.   The removed squirrel, having been taken across the Ottawa River to 'ull', will be released in an area without a territory of its own and will be killed by the resident squirrels.

So it is a complete waste of time to trap squirrels and 'humanely' re-locate them.

You're right. Half-measures just won't do. There must be some kind of, you know,  final solution to this squirrel problem.


I do not see what you mean.
 
2013-06-17 11:57:03 PM
Eichhörnchenwitz. Spass macht frei.
 
2013-06-17 11:58:45 PM

Cyber_Junk: Mambo Bananapatch: cnocnanrionnag: Cyber_Junk: daisygrrl: Not Ottawa - Westboro. Don't tar the rest of us with their crazy antics.
Only in Westboro would it seem smarter to trap and drive squirrels across the bridge than to fix the holes in your damn house.

(waves to another Ottawan)

'deporting' squirrels to the wilderness is a smarter move than exterminating them.    Even so...trapping them in the first place seems to be a crazy move.

Squirrels are highly territorial.  Extremely so.    If a squirrel is removed from 'Westboro' then the empty territory will be filled instantly by squirrels with neighbouring territories.  You won't even notice that a squirrel is missing.   The removed squirrel, having been taken across the Ottawa River to 'ull', will be released in an area without a territory of its own and will be killed by the resident squirrels.

So it is a complete waste of time to trap squirrels and 'humanely' re-locate them.

You're right. Half-measures just won't do. There must be some kind of, you know,  final solution to this squirrel problem.

I do not see what you mean.


Ah, are we to use words then? Very well. At risk of burdening the record, what I'm proposing is un holocauste d'écureuil.

farm3.staticflickr.com
 
2013-06-18 12:14:14 AM
Squirrels live in the wild and Peta doesn't have any videos that would suggest they've been domesticated and are raised on factory farms to be beaten.

I say kill the squirrels quick and painless like, and throw them on the grill. Probably better than supporting the factory farms and better for the planet.
 
2013-06-18 12:19:51 AM

DownDaRiver: Sir_Spanksalot: Where's Eddie? He usually eats these god damn things!
Obscure?

Really?
said in a sarcastic tone of voice


My response was more appreciative of the joke. Yours is more condescending. Bad form. Go along with the reference and have fun with it. You're not better than any one. Act accordingly!
 
2013-06-18 12:30:22 AM
The other side of that bridge is Aylmer, so no harm done I suppose
 
2013-06-18 12:34:45 AM
L'acorn Royale
 
2013-06-18 12:40:02 AM

Mantour: [a4cgr.files.wordpress.com image 369x480]

Quel est le problème?


Oh ... damn

:-)
 
2013-06-18 12:45:28 AM

BlousyBrown: DownDaRiver: Sir_Spanksalot: Where's Eddie? He usually eats these god damn things!
Obscure?

Really?
said in a sarcastic tone of voice

My response was more appreciative of the joke. Yours is more condescending. Bad form. Go along with the reference and have fun with it. You're not better than any one. Act accordingly!


Who cares what you did? You are not special. Quit being an Attention Whore!!!
 
2013-06-18 01:05:00 AM

daisygrrl: Not Ottawa - Westboro. Don't tar the rest of us with their crazy antics.
Only in Westboro would it seem smarter to trap and drive squirrels across the bridge than to fix the holes in your damn house.


Believe me. I know Westboro and their hipster ways.  With their Bridgehead coffees and their hate for TV.  My old roommate she used to nanny in that area, and the parenting there is very messed up.

/just happy to see an ottawa thread. :)
 
2013-06-18 01:09:04 AM
"He said, 'No, I'm trying to catch them all and bring them to Quebec because they can't cross the bridge.'"

As someone who once found a squirrel swimming in the middle of the Ottawa River, I would like to add that I don't think he has thought his cunning plan all the way through. Perhaps he could involve a turnip of some kind.
 
2013-06-18 01:30:45 AM
Wow, arguments over my Eddie joke..

Think I need to throw a robe over it and smack it with a hammer.
 
2013-06-18 01:47:35 AM
You can release a few of these guys in my yard. I wouldn't mind.
bbsimg.ngfiles.com
 
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