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(Metro)   Need some incentive to get out of bed in the morning? Here's an alarm clock that shreds your money if you don't wake up in time   (metro.co.uk) divider line 36
    More: Amusing, Metro  
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3705 clicks; posted to Geek » on 17 Jun 2013 at 7:00 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



36 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-06-17 05:14:05 PM  
Meh, I prefer the SnūzNLūz Alarm Clock.

www.thinkgeek.com

It's connected to your bank account and every time you hit snooze it donates a small amount to your least favorite charity. The reason they use your least favorite charity is so you have motivation to get up by NOT donating money to them.
 
2013-06-17 05:25:46 PM  
Sooo... now I'll lose money if I don't go to work?
 
2013-06-17 05:25:56 PM  

scottydoesntknow: Meh, I prefer the SnūzNLūz Alarm Clock.

[www.thinkgeek.com image 600x460]

It's connected to your bank account and every time you hit snooze it donates a small amount to your least favorite charity. The reason they use your least favorite charity is so you have motivation to get up by NOT donating money to them.


That's absolutely horrible, but it made me laugh embarrassingly loud at work.
 
2013-06-17 05:42:39 PM  
Isn't that illegal?

th02.deviantart.net
 
2013-06-17 05:50:18 PM  

timharrod: Sooo... now I'll lose money if I don't go to work?


My thought as well. Your money is going to get shredded just as effectively if you're late for work.
 
2013-06-17 05:54:30 PM  
Put your driver's license in there. The threat of having to go to the DMV would force you to get out of bed in a panicky sweat. Wouldn't even need coffee.
 
2013-06-17 05:59:20 PM  

ecmoRandomNumbers: Put your driver's license in there. The threat of having to go to the DMV would force you to get out of bed in a panicky sweat. Wouldn't even need coffee.


Excellent.
 
2013-06-17 06:02:12 PM  
i1148.photobucket.com
 
2013-06-17 06:51:46 PM  
Isn't making money the reason for the alarm clock in the first place?

Huxley > Orwell
 
2013-06-17 07:04:16 PM  
I want an alarm clock that gives a blowjob....
 
2013-06-17 07:12:27 PM  

8 inches: Isn't that illegal?


Yes, yes it is.

18 USC § 333 - Mutilation of national bank obligations Whoever mutilates, cuts, defaces, disfigures, or perforates, or unites or cements together, or does any other thing to any bank bill, draft, note, or other evidence of debt issued by any national banking association, or Federal Reserve bank, or the Federal Reserve System, with intent to render such bank bill, draft, note, or other evidence of debt unfit to be reissued, shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than six months, or both.
 
2013-06-17 07:20:04 PM  
So, someone buys this and thinks, "This will be great!  I will be motivated to get out of bed instead of hitting the snooze button."  It will work for a while and then one day he will mess up and lose some money.  That night, before going to bed, he will load the alarm clock with blank pieces of paper.
 
2013-06-17 07:20:08 PM  

SpdrJay: I want an alarm clock that gives a blowjob....


they are called women. but once you have one, you just want to get rid of it. vicious circle. jerk.
 
2013-06-17 07:23:06 PM  

SpdrJay: I want an alarm clock that gives a blowjob....


Here you go
 
2013-06-17 07:24:30 PM  

hardinparamedic: SpdrJay: I want an alarm clock that gives a blowjob....

Here you go


That's what I was thinking.  Didn't want to go searching for the link though.
 
2013-06-17 07:28:15 PM  
If you don't possess the willpower to get your ass out of bed when you need to, you probably don't have enough money to waste shredding in your alarm clock.
 
2013-06-17 07:53:24 PM  

Hollie Maea: If you don't possess the willpower to get your ass out of bed when you need to, you probably don't have enough money to waste shredding in your alarm clock.


I've got 4 separate alarms set that basically boil down to "Which train do I want to take to work today?"
 
2013-06-17 07:59:23 PM  

scottydoesntknow: Meh, I prefer the SnūzNLūz Alarm Clock.

[www.thinkgeek.com image 600x460]

It's connected to your bank account and every time you hit snooze it donates a small amount to your least favorite charity. The reason they use your least favorite charity is so you have motivation to get up by NOT donating money to them.


That's awesome.  I'd end up donating my rent money to PETA, though.
 
2013-06-17 08:04:31 PM  

SpdrJay: I want an alarm clock that gives a blowjob....


That's dumb. Because when it's over, you just get sleepy again.
 
2013-06-17 08:15:23 PM  

scottydoesntknow: Meh, I prefer the SnūzNLūz Alarm Clock.

[www.thinkgeek.com image 600x460]

It's connected to your bank account and every time you hit snooze it donates a small amount to your least favorite charity. The reason they use your least favorite charity is so you have motivation to get up by NOT donating money to them.


oh, this is going in my wish list.

/stupid sleep disorder whatnot, impossible for me to get up
//but that... might just do the trick
///all the SO's solve-math-problems-to-hit-snooze alarm does is increases the likelihood of phone-smashed-against-wall.
 
2013-06-17 08:17:03 PM  

StreetlightInTheGhetto: scottydoesntknow: Meh, I prefer the SnūzNLūz Alarm Clock.

[www.thinkgeek.com image 600x460]

It's connected to your bank account and every time you hit snooze it donates a small amount to your least favorite charity. The reason they use your least favorite charity is so you have motivation to get up by NOT donating money to them.

oh, this is going in my wish list.

/stupid sleep disorder whatnot, impossible for me to get up
//but that... might just do the trick
///all the SO's solve-math-problems-to-hit-snooze alarm does is increases the likelihood of phone-smashed-against-wall.


GODDAMMIT REALLY APRIL FOOLS?

F--k.  Well i'm going to design my own alarm clock.  With blackjack!  and hookers!
 
2013-06-17 08:38:19 PM  
Huh, my demotivational is BART parking fees, BART fares, BART fare machines, BART homeless pooping on the seats, floors, doors, turnstiles, and escalators, naked BART man on the mezzanine, agro BART psycho screaming on the platform, mumbly BART door operators, BART schedules that are inconsistent but consistently one minute behind my connection ...

Why the hell did I want to get up today?
 
2013-06-17 08:39:24 PM  

StreetlightInTheGhetto: StreetlightInTheGhetto: scottydoesntknow: Meh, I prefer the SnūzNLūz Alarm Clock.

[www.thinkgeek.com image 600x460]

It's connected to your bank account and every time you hit snooze it donates a small amount to your least favorite charity. The reason they use your least favorite charity is so you have motivation to get up by NOT donating money to them.

oh, this is going in my wish list.

/stupid sleep disorder whatnot, impossible for me to get up
//but that... might just do the trick
///all the SO's solve-math-problems-to-hit-snooze alarm does is increases the likelihood of phone-smashed-against-wall.

GODDAMMIT REALLY APRIL FOOLS?

F--k.  Well i'm going to design my own alarm clock.  With blackjack!  and hookers!


Their April Fool's jokes have a bit of a history of becoming actual products. Just sayin'
 
2013-06-17 08:41:48 PM  

ProfessorOhki: StreetlightInTheGhetto: StreetlightInTheGhetto: scottydoesntknow: Meh, I prefer the SnūzNLūz Alarm Clock.

[www.thinkgeek.com image 600x460]

It's connected to your bank account and every time you hit snooze it donates a small amount to your least favorite charity. The reason they use your least favorite charity is so you have motivation to get up by NOT donating money to them.

oh, this is going in my wish list.

/stupid sleep disorder whatnot, impossible for me to get up
//but that... might just do the trick
///all the SO's solve-math-problems-to-hit-snooze alarm does is increases the likelihood of phone-smashed-against-wall.

GODDAMMIT REALLY APRIL FOOLS?

F--k.  Well i'm going to design my own alarm clock.  With blackjack!  and hookers!

Their April Fool's jokes have a bit of a history of becoming actual products. Just sayin'


The tauntaun sleeping bag was the best.
 
2013-06-17 09:00:48 PM  
Old news is so exciting:

http://lifehacker.com/5808004/motivate-yourself-to-wake-up-with-a-di y- money+shredding-alarm-clock


(Although I swear this popped up online 'way earlier than 2011.)
 
2013-06-17 10:40:42 PM  

Dragonflew: 8 inches: Isn't that illegal?

Yes, yes it is.

18 USC § 333 - Mutilation of national bank obligations Whoever mutilates, cuts, defaces, disfigures, or perforates, or unites or cements together, or does any other thing to any bank bill, draft, note, or other evidence of debt issued by any national banking association, or Federal Reserve bank, or the Federal Reserve System, with intent to render such bank bill, draft, note, or other evidence of debt unfit to be reissued, shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than six months, or both.


You must be fun at parties. Another way to look at it, is that besides losing a dollar, you are also facing a fine and/or jail time if you sleep in.

I'd rather see a clock with an alarm that is Fran Drescher laughing. Every time you hit the snooze, the alarm gets louder the next time it goes off.
 
2013-06-17 10:52:09 PM  
Dr. Phil alarm clock:

"You need to wake up. You need to wake up. You need to wake up....."
 
2013-06-17 11:09:20 PM  

Dragonflew: 8 inches: Isn't that illegal?

Yes, yes it is.

18 USC § 333 - Mutilation of national bank obligations Whoever mutilates, cuts, defaces, disfigures, or perforates, or unites or cements together, or does any other thing to any bank bill, draft, note, or other evidence of debt issued by any national banking association, or Federal Reserve bank, or the Federal Reserve System, with intent to render such bank bill, draft, note, or other evidence of debt unfit to be reissued, shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than six months, or both.


It's only illegal if you try to use it as currency. Which is why those smashed penny machines are legal.

Also, as somebody who works in an office where I can be in basically any time between 9:30 (when we officially open and the time I aim for) and 10:00 without raising an eyebrow... No way in hell am I buying one of those.
 
2013-06-18 12:03:19 AM  

iron_city_ap: Dragonflew: 8 inches: Isn't that illegal?

Yes, yes it is.

18 USC § 333 - Mutilation of national bank obligations Whoever mutilates, cuts, defaces, disfigures, or perforates, or unites or cements together, or does any other thing to any bank bill, draft, note, or other evidence of debt issued by any national banking association, or Federal Reserve bank, or the Federal Reserve System, with intent to render such bank bill, draft, note, or other evidence of debt unfit to be reissued, shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than six months, or both.

You must be fun at parties. Another way to look at it, is that besides losing a dollar, you are also facing a fine and/or jail time if you sleep in.

I'd rather see a clock with an alarm that is Fran Drescher laughing. Every time you hit the snooze, the alarm gets louder the next time it goes off.


You're a sadistic fark, aren't you?
 
2013-06-18 02:10:52 AM  
Losers!

i.qkme.me
/it is
 
2013-06-18 06:10:56 AM  

Dragonflew: 8 inches: Isn't that illegal?

Yes, yes it is.

18 USC § 333 - Mutilation of national bank obligations Whoever mutilates, cuts, defaces, disfigures, or perforates, or unites or cements together, or does any other thing to any bank bill, draft, note, or other evidence of debt issued by any national banking association, or Federal Reserve bank, or the Federal Reserve System, with intent to render such bank bill, draft, note, or other evidence of debt unfit to be reissued, shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than six months, or both.


That is just a technicality. Since the Federal reserve doesn't track how much money they have in circulation no one need ever find out. Not even if there was a massive money recall.
 
2013-06-18 06:50:05 AM  
Meh. I can spare a buck
 
2013-06-18 09:04:02 AM  
"I can't wake up" is an android app that may be helpful for some even though does not get to that extreme. One example, the alarm will not stop until you go to the bathroom and scan a bar code there, and alarm will keep getting louder with time.
 
2013-06-18 10:58:40 AM  
Had an alarm clock that had a little puzzle on top for a while. A little one, just 4 pieces. When it went off a spring inside let go and flung the puzzle pieces all over the room. Only way to shut it down was to find them all, solve the puzzle, and put it back in.

Tragically, there was an accident and it was destroyed.
 
2013-06-18 11:39:05 AM  

Ned Stark: Had an alarm clock that had a little puzzle on top for a while. A little one, just 4 pieces. When it went off a spring inside let go and flung the puzzle pieces all over the room. Only way to shut it down was to find them all, solve the puzzle, and put it back in.

Tragically, there was an accident and it was destroyed.


Did that accident had anything to do with the head of that puzzle being separated from the body?

/in one chop
 
2013-06-18 11:40:07 PM  

ecmoRandomNumbers: SpdrJay: I want an alarm clock that gives a blowjob....

That's dumb. Because when it's over, you just get sleepy again.


That's okay... the "anal intrusion" will perk you right up!
 
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