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(Salon)   Republicans develop plan to appeal to millenials: make gay marriage and abortion funny   (salon.com) divider line 130
    More: Amusing, social conservatism, youth vote, abortions  
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4980 clicks; posted to Politics » on 17 Jun 2013 at 2:20 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-06-17 12:32:07 PM
58 votes:

RodneyToady: "How do you make abortion funny?"

Clown abortions?


Only if it's during the 1st piemester
2013-06-17 12:44:03 PM
25 votes:
I always thought there should be an aborted fetus superhero called the Miscarriage of Justice
2013-06-17 03:17:48 PM
20 votes:

OdradekRex: What's the difference between the GOP religious right and the Taliban?


The Taliban wears beards and the GOP marries them.
2013-06-17 12:39:34 PM
16 votes:
You know who has extremely low abortion rates?

Gay people.
2013-06-17 12:28:39 PM
13 votes:
"How do you make abortion funny?"

Clown abortions?
2013-06-17 03:05:17 PM
11 votes:

nmrsnr: Dead baby joke thread?

/what's the difference between an abortion and sand?



No right winger has ever secretly got the sand out of her vagina.
2013-06-17 01:14:40 PM
11 votes:

jbc: RodneyToady: "How do you make abortion funny?"

Clown abortions?

Two aborted babies walk into a bar. The bartender says "Fetus?" The first baby says "Fetus? Damn near killed us!"



You're forgetting that they're going to be using Republican humor.

"A woman goes into Planned Parenthood.  So I made a billboard of the little slut's address and telephone number, and then shot her doctor."
2013-06-17 12:52:30 PM
10 votes:

RodneyToady: Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get an abortion.


Why did the conservative politician cross the road?
Because his dick was stuck in a chicken.
2013-06-17 02:54:26 PM
9 votes:

FloydA: ALL GIRLS AGREE TO PULL PANTIES DOWN: Sgt Otter: God Is My Co-Pirate: This is going to be "Poochie says abortions are hilarious to the max, dude!" isn't it?

[www.ncregister.com image 342x468]

There is a whole series of these.

[prolifescranton.org image 734x554]

Worst.  Pride Float.  Ever.


How do you make a fetus float?


I believe that a minimum of two gallons of root beer and five pints of ice cream are required.
2013-06-17 02:54:15 PM
9 votes:
home.comcast.net
/Sorry.
jbc [TotalFark]
2013-06-17 12:39:40 PM
9 votes:

RodneyToady: "How do you make abortion funny?"

Clown abortions?


Two aborted babies walk into a bar. The bartender says "Fetus?" The first baby says "Fetus? Damn near killed us!"
Bf+
2013-06-17 03:10:30 PM
8 votes:

mpirooz: The key to humor is truth. This is why the GOP will never have a sense of humor.


Even a blind squirrel finds a nut once in a while:
www.chevychase.com
2013-06-17 02:15:38 PM
8 votes:

CapeFearCadaver: But women like me love being handed baby booties when I'm going to get a papsmear.


You can put them on your toes so you feel more festive in the stirrups.
2013-06-17 12:51:15 PM
8 votes:
"You can engage with sarcasm, it's hard with the abortion issue, but you have to," said Students for Life President Kristan Hawkins

Maybe she can combine it with a rape joke.  The GOP is good at those.
2013-06-17 01:58:34 PM
7 votes:

Nabb1: Ask Sarah Silverman how abortion jokes tend to go over.


They kill in Philadelphia.
2013-06-17 12:41:30 PM
7 votes:

RodneyToady: "How do you make abortion funny?"


When you find out, tell Adam Sandler & Rob Schneider. Based on their recent movie output, they've been working on this problem for years.
2013-06-17 01:24:34 PM
6 votes:
Knock knock
Who's there?
Minority
Minority who?
Minority who wants an abortion
At least you're not gay
2013-06-17 01:07:30 PM
6 votes:
Travis Korson, the Grassroots Director of the Virginia chapter, suggested framing marriage as an economic issue. "Gay marriage undermines that basic family unit," he said, and that, in turn, hurts the economy.

Yes, because when I'm walking down the street in Portland's gay (well, gay-er) district, past the thriving boutiques, upscale bars, gourmet restaurants, art galleries, renovated condos, and design firms, the streets lined with new BMWs, Mini-Coopers, and Priuses, my first thought is, "man, these gays sure are hurting the economy."
2013-06-17 12:34:26 PM
6 votes:
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get an abortion.
2013-06-17 02:41:56 PM
5 votes:
Who the fark is writing these jokes? Hodor?
2013-06-17 12:50:50 PM
5 votes:

scottydoesntknow: Only if it's during the 1st piemester


i.huffpost.com
2013-06-17 02:50:42 PM
4 votes:

Lunchlady: Why?


You can't eat sand.

/Sorry, it's the only abortion joke I have.
2013-06-17 02:43:50 PM
4 votes:

what_now: Who the fark is writing these jokes? Hodor?


At least Hodor has comedic timing.
2013-06-17 02:33:33 PM
4 votes:

sweetmelissa31: In other news, there is a comic strip less funny than Mallard Filmore.


www.mindhuestudio.com
2013-06-17 02:29:31 PM
4 votes:

Sgt Otter: There is a whole series of these.


i668.photobucket.com
2013-06-17 02:07:06 PM
4 votes:

Sgt Otter: www.ncregister.com

There is a whole series of these.


Goddammit, that is so unfunny I just forgot several funny things I used to know.
2013-06-17 12:32:13 PM
4 votes:
Because if there's one thing young folks respond to, it's "jokes" by religious groups trying to be hip and relevant.
2013-06-17 06:39:36 PM
3 votes:
I'm not laughing at the abortion jokes. I guess you can say there's...

*sunglasses*

...womb for improvement
2013-06-17 02:53:11 PM
3 votes:
A black guy, a jew, and a gay guy walk into a bar. The bartenders says "WTF are you guys doing in here?  We don't serve you."
2013-06-17 02:46:10 PM
3 votes:

Cantankerous Gnome: Hey, do any of you farkers posting Umbert the Unborn have the expressed written permission of Gary Cangemi?


THE Gary Cangemi?
2013-06-17 02:42:02 PM
3 votes:

Cantankerous Gnome: Hey, do any of you farkers posting Umbert the Unborn have the expressed written permission of Gary Cangemi?


Fair use includes cultural commentary, analysis and education. Plus you can never reach Cary. He's always got his head stuck up some preggo chick's coont for research.
2013-06-17 02:40:47 PM
3 votes:
Oh goody.  Humor? This means some GOP apparatchik is ordering his secretary to dust off her Rolodex and call the comedic geniuses who created the 1/2 Hour News Hour.

That was some top talent, dude.

www.mediabistro.com

Top. Men.
2013-06-17 02:37:37 PM
3 votes:

Dear GOP:

DOOOOOOOOOOOO IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTT.



/It will shame your families if you don't!
//Do it, do it, do it...
2013-06-17 02:34:58 PM
3 votes:

Sgt Otter: God Is My Co-Pirate: This is going to be "Poochie says abortions are hilarious to the max, dude!" isn't it?

[www.ncregister.com image 342x468]

There is a whole series of these.


prolifescranton.org

Worst.  Pride Float.  Ever.
2013-06-17 02:17:35 PM
3 votes:

serial_crusher: I always thought there should be an aborted fetus superhero called the Miscarriage of Justice


i.imgur.com
2013-06-17 02:03:51 PM
3 votes:
Yeah, you should make jokes while you're picketing outside a Planned Parenthood; that'll really go over well. That girl will really change her mind when you start telling jokes about something she's spent weeks agonizing over. Then make sure to slut shame her, too.

The best part is that during that whole day, you've probably only yelled at two women who were getting abortions. But women like me love being handed baby booties when I'm going to get a papsmear.
2013-06-17 01:55:42 PM
3 votes:
Hawkins said it was because the party was too moderate.

llddr.files.wordpress.com
2013-06-17 01:54:54 PM
3 votes:

Nabb1: Ask Sarah Silverman how abortion jokes tend to go over.


To be fair, her normal jokes go the same way.
2013-06-17 01:48:29 PM
3 votes:
Ask Sarah Silverman how abortion jokes tend to go over.
2013-06-17 01:34:56 PM
3 votes:

what_now: I don't know man, what about all those gays having children they can't afford and going on welfare?


Someone should tell the gay people that abstinence is a 100% effective form of birth control.

/I really really REALLY wanted to translate that into Caveman in honor of last week
2013-06-17 01:31:53 PM
3 votes:

Relatively Obscure: Travis Korson, the Grassroots Director of the Virginia chapter, suggested framing marriage as an economic issue. "Gay marriage undermines that basic family unit," he said, and that, in turn, hurts the economy.

This person doesn't believe this, but thinks you are incredibly stupid.


I don't know man, what about all those gays having children they can't afford and going on welfare?
2013-06-17 01:15:10 PM
3 votes:
Q: What's the difference between getting a legal abortion and not getting one?

/A: An ultra-sound wand
2013-06-17 12:53:57 PM
3 votes:
i.imgur.com
2013-06-17 10:09:03 PM
2 votes:

RodneyToady: "How do you make abortion funny?"

Clown abortions?


25.media.tumblr.com
2013-06-17 08:20:24 PM
2 votes:

Raoul Eaton: Great.  Another piece about how the Republican party wizards think all they need to do is some "re-branding."  No awareness at all that their support is eroding due to their terrible policies, hateful rhetoric, and obeisance to the worst of the nutball right.


Look, it's not hate, all right?  It's love.  Tough love.

Minorities?  Well, we didn't make them stupid, lazy, and genetically inferior to white people, God did. We are just reminding them of their many shortcomings, so that they won't feel the crushing disappointment of inevitable failure when they try to attain the same level of achievement as Real Americans.  Out of love.

And broads? Well, come on. You really think they're equal?  Really?  You're not kidding....?  Are you a girl too?  Well that explains it.  What's that?  You over there...?  You too? You're a guy?  What are you, gay or something?

And speaking of gay, God hates homosexuality.  We are just trying to warn the gays their souls are in danger of eternal damnation, that's all. Out of love and concern for the salvation of their immortal souls.  Who Jesus hates, by the way, because they're gay.  I mean, being gay is just as sinful as being a pedophile who is turned on by eight year old kids.  You think your opinion matters more than Jesus?  Well, that's just, like, your opinion, man.  Nobody f*cks with the Jesus.  Eight year olds, dude.
2013-06-17 05:20:30 PM
2 votes:
www.voicescarryblog.com

/late to the party
2013-06-17 03:47:59 PM
2 votes:

sweetmelissa31: Is this an argument for opening our borders?

[1.bp.blogspot.com image 342x477]


I was looking for a relevant Spider-Man comic pic to explain how stupid this is, but I had trouble so I'll post this instead:

25.media.tumblr.com
2013-06-17 03:38:37 PM
2 votes:

sweetmelissa31: Is this an argument for opening our borders?

[1.bp.blogspot.com image 342x477]


That argument is so retarded I want to argue for the ethics of aborting it.
2013-06-17 02:59:10 PM
2 votes:
The key to humor is truth. This is why the GOP will never have a sense of humor.
2013-06-17 02:48:11 PM
2 votes:
Jackie Martling Favorite Joke:

A guys says to another guy: "You know, I've banging my wife in the same hole for 15 years.  15 years, the same damn hole, every night."

Other guy: "Have you tried flipping her over?"

1st Guy: "What?  And have all those kids running around?"

Yeah, not the greatest.
2013-06-17 02:46:51 PM
2 votes:

Fuggin Bizzy: Liberty University senior class president Chelsea Patterson offered that "a lot of my peers see the GOP as kind of old school," suggesting the party needed some rebranding and a better strategy of connecting with popular culture.

Repackage the same old policy positions? Hey, nobody's suggested that before. Maybe it'll work!

Hawkins said it was because the party was too moderate. "We keep nominating moderates and saying we need a big tent, but we keep losing."

Yes! The GOP needs to go even further right! It's the only way!

No one suggested changing any positions, only finding better packaging for the ones they already have. "I do not believe we should sacrifice our values to win elections," Koroson said.

Repackage the same old policy positions? Hey, nobody's suggested that before. Maybe it'll work!

--

These are the young, visionary, forward thinkers of the social conservative movement. Presumably. Nary a new idea among them.


It might be because they still let an old book written by a tribe of sheep farkers dictate their life. And then there's that whole bible thing.
2013-06-17 02:39:30 PM
2 votes:
At best, Republicans are funny unintentionally, and usually that involves us laughing AT them. Their deliberate attempts at humor are about as funny as a pancreatic cancer diagnosis. I look forward to their attempts at courting my vote. How sweet the desperation is.
2013-06-17 02:38:29 PM
2 votes:

vernonFL: Whats 12 inches long and will make a woman cry all night?


It can be anything, as long as you hit her hard enough with it.
2013-06-17 02:36:13 PM
2 votes:
Hey, do any of you farkers posting Umbert the Unborn have the expressed written permission of Gary Cangemi?
2013-06-17 02:36:04 PM
2 votes:

Aarontology: Because if there's one thing young folks respond to, it's "jokes" by religious groups trying to be hip and relevant.


They need to talk to this guy:

3.bp.blogspot.com
2013-06-17 02:27:44 PM
2 votes:
3.bp.blogspot.com

How do you get an abortion pregnant? You fark it.
2013-06-17 02:27:29 PM
2 votes:

RodneyToady: "How do you make abortion funny?"

Clown abortions?


Clowns are never funny.  Clowns are terrifying.

/midget abortions, on the other hand....
2013-06-17 02:25:46 PM
2 votes:

Somacandra: sweetmelissa31: In other news, there is a comic strip less funny than Mallard Filmore.

[i.imgur.com image 342x477]

The last time I saw my Mom, she "spit an egg" at me!

So I got up and left the "WOMB!"

LAUGHTER OL


"A Baby's Womb".

This is what  the right wing thinks of women.
2013-06-17 02:24:04 PM
2 votes:
Sorry about that, Millenials or Gen Y or whatever you want to call yourselves.

We thought if us Gen X folks removed ourselves from the bullshiat games of the Boomers and "Greatest Generation", people would realize the idiocy of it all and focus on making the world a better place, but we farked up in that department.  Apathy is sometimes detrimental.

/get off my lawn
//pass the beer and bong
2013-06-17 02:21:42 PM
2 votes:
Dead baby joke thread?

/what's the difference between an abortion and sand?
2013-06-17 02:18:58 PM
2 votes:

Sgt Otter: There is a whole series of these.


blog.beliefnet.com

This Mom was apparently getting around.

In other news, there is a comic strip less funny than Mallard Filmore.
2013-06-17 01:59:51 PM
2 votes:

vernonFL: Hawkins said it was because the party was too moderate.

[llddr.files.wordpress.com image 320x240]


Some of their unintentional humour is really quite funny.
2013-06-18 07:38:39 AM
1 votes:

VitruvianMonkey: ALL GIRLS AGREE TO PULL PANTIES DOWN: serial_crusher: Gunther: Somacandra: Seriously--what is the joke supposed to be?

Right wing humor is clearly too sophisticated for you.

Seriously though, there's a reason why 99% of comedians are left-wingers. Comedy requires subtlety, which requires a viewpoint capable of distinguishing shades of gray. If you see everything in absolutist terms you cannot write a joke.

i think the successful formula for right wing humor is that it has to be slightly offensive.  Take the South Park episode with Christopher Reeve for example.  It would be a stretch to call South Park a right wing show in general--they pretty much make fun of everything--but that particular episode resonates with common right wing views.  The whole thing is about Christopher Reeve killing fetuses for personal gain and becoming a super villain in the process.  The way he snaps the fetuses' necks to suck the stem cells out really drives home the supposed vileness of what he's doing.  That's how political humor should work.  Make people laugh, but also get them thinking.

The depiction of Christopher Reeve was so over-the-top, I thought it was a parody of conservatives' perception of the stem-cell debate.

It was. He completely missed the point. Apparently, Cartman cloning a Shakey's Pizza with stem cells wasn't a big enough clue that they were making fun of the whole public conception of what stem cells can do.


Well, here's what Wikipedia has to say on that episode:
According to Matt Stone and Trey Parker, they had the idea to do a Christopher Reeve parody since the previous season but held it off: "For a long time we're like, 'You know what? Maybe that's not cool.'" The two decided to do the parody because they were having trouble coming up with an idea for an episode and Reeve happened to be on Larry King Live that night. After seeing the interview, the two thought to themselves "You know what? fark him. He really is taking up this cause of 'Everyone needs to help me out.'"

That's the conservative position in a nutshell.  People don't care who they kill to get their own problems fixed.
2013-06-18 07:37:18 AM
1 votes:
Lets do some social conservative comedy!!!*

A woman tries to have an abortion.  But she messes up and falls off a cliff onto an exploding bomb.   Because she's a woman.
A woman had an abortion and woke up as a fetus and got aborted.  Over and over again forever because she was in hell.
A woman had over 9000 abortions but they always failed because the baby was Jesus.  (He put the bomb there for woman #1)
There was a gay wedding, but everyone disappeared into a black hole because there's no such thing as gay marriage.
A pregnant woman asks 3 wise men about what she should do with her pregnancy.  She gets 3 wrong answers because none of them were Christian.
A True American man+woman wedding was happening.  There was lobster, ham, and people were wearing poly-cotton blend clothing.  Jesus showed up and gave them a thumbs up because they were following the important parts of the Bible.
A gay wedding happened and a bomb blew it up.  Liberals called it terrorism even though Jesus put the bomb there.  It was the same bomb the blew up the woman.
A smug atheist professor challenged anyone in the lecture hall to prove Christianity.  A christian student stood up and shouted "I accept!"  Right then, Jesus walked into the room, the professor peed his pants, and everyone in the room was instantly a Christian.
Forward this to everyone you know.  I was a gay liberal progressive communist fascist Obama kool-aid drinking wiccan satanic atheist evolutionist global warming alarmist humanist nazi until I read these jokes.  If it fails to convince them send it again.
--
*Sorry, but I'm only 500% as good at comedy** as an actual social conservative.

**500% of 0 is 0.
2013-06-17 09:16:37 PM
1 votes:
Conservative humor kind of reminds me of contemporary Christian music.
24.media.tumblr.com
2013-06-17 09:09:19 PM
1 votes:
Abortion is a funny issue.

You mean, let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it's me, I'm a little farked up maybe, but it's funny how, I mean funny like abortion is a clown, it amuses you? It makes you laugh, it's here to farkin' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How is it funny?
2013-06-17 07:08:24 PM
1 votes:
Will people please stop linking these unfunny comics?  I'm afraid that the authors will start thinking they've done something right with their lives when they see their bandwidth spike today.
2013-06-17 07:06:11 PM
1 votes:

Hickory-smoked: In all honestly, the "Umbert" comics don't strike me as evil. The logic is terrible and myopic, the jokes aren't actually jokes, and there is a weird tendency to view women as passive incubators... but aside from thatit's pretty tame.


I've bolded the part that's pretty goddamn evil. Just because it's not *malicious* doesn't mean it's not evil.

"Down there - he said - are people who will follow any dragon, worship any god, ignore any inequity. All out of a kind of humdrum, everyday badness. Not the really high, creative loathsomeness of the great sinners, but a sort of mass-produced darkness of the soul. Sin, you might say, without a trace of originality. They accept evil not because they say yes, but because they don't say no."  -Havelock Vetinari, from Terry Pratchett's Guards! Guards!

Also:

"There is a very interesting debate raging at the moment about the nature of sin, for example," said Oats.
"And what do they think? Against it, are they?" said Granny Weatherwax.
"It's not as simple as that. It's not a black and white issue. There are so many shades of gray."
"Nope."
"Pardon?"
"There's no grays, only white that's got grubby. I'm surprised you don't know that. And sin, young man, is when you treat people as things. Including yourself. That's what sin is."
"It's a lot more complicated than that-"
"No. It ain't. When people say things are a lot more complicated than that, they means they're getting worried that they won't like the truth. People as things, that's where it starts."
"Oh, I'm sure there are worse crimes-"
"But they starts with thinking about people as things..."

(From Carpe Jugulum)
2013-06-17 07:03:41 PM
1 votes:
People should chill out about abortion jokes, it's not like anyone died.
2013-06-17 06:48:36 PM
1 votes:

Marcus Aurelius: RodneyToady: Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get an abortion.

Why did the conservative politician cross the road?
Because his dick was stuck in a chicken.


RE: fried chicken recipe

Instructions unclear, dick stuck in chicken
2013-06-17 06:46:30 PM
1 votes:
Conservatives can be funny, just not how or when they want to be funny. Like back in 2005 when Bush was President and rightwingers from 'Protest Warrior' went out to support the conservatives with ironic signs at a pro-war protest in Crawford, Texas. The conservatards there didn't understand irony and so attacked the people from 'Protest Warrior'. That was funny.
2013-06-17 06:01:56 PM
1 votes:

AnonAmbientLight: I guess i should e-mail my professor and tell him Random McFarkGuy says his wrong.


I said, you CANNOT bind someone who is not party to the contract.  If  I create a contract which says my friend can be on my insurance plan at the discounted family rate, that contract is unenforceable against the insurance company.  The insurance company is not party to the contract.  It has no power to force the insurance company to do anything.  Marriage has a whole slew of benefits that are conferred by third parties, none of whom would be bound under the scheme proposed by your professor.

It's nice you like your professor, but don't think just because he says something you happen to agree with, and just because you took one class, you suddenly have all the knowledge you need to solve a social issue that's been around for a while.
2013-06-17 05:55:08 PM
1 votes:

Sgt Otter: "Sheesh, at most 300,000 Iraqi civilians died. BFD. Also, ass."


Oh, Lordy. That's not a comic, that's hentai for hard-up right-wing bloggers.
2013-06-17 05:42:31 PM
1 votes:
Too late, O Republican Party:

i78.photobucket.com

TEArell: The facts of life... to make a radical alteration in the evolvement of an American political party is fatal. A coding sequence cannot be revised once it's been established.
GOP Batty: Why not?
TEArell: Because by the second mid-term of incubation, any cells that have undergone TEA Party reversion mutation give rise to revertant colonies, like rats leaving a sinking ship; then the ship... sinks.
GOP Batty: What about EMS-3 Moderate recombination?
TEArell: We've already tried it - Huntsman, Collins, Snowe, Brown, Lugar......; it created a virus so lethal the subject was dead before it even left the table.
GOP Batty: Then a RINO repressor protein that would block the operating cells.
TEArell: Wouldn't obstruct replication; but it does give rise to an error in replication, so that the newly formed DNA strand carries with it a TEA Party mutation - and you've got a virus again... but this, all of this is academic. You were made as well as we could make you.
GOP Batty: But not to last.
TEArell: The light that burns twice as bright burns for half as long - and you have burned so very, very brightly, GOP. Look at you: you're the Prodigal Son; you're quite a prize!
GOP Batty: I've done... questionable things.
TEArell: Also extraordinary things; revel in your time.
GOP Batty: Nothing the God of Politics wouldn't let you into heaven for.
2013-06-17 05:42:09 PM
1 votes:
Clown doctor after jamming an ultrasound probe into his patient's hoohah - "Does this feel funny to you?"
/tip your waitress
2013-06-17 04:49:46 PM
1 votes:

Sgt Otter: God Is My Co-Pirate: This is going to be "Poochie says abortions are hilarious to the max, dude!" isn't it?

[www.ncregister.com image 342x468]

There is a whole series of these.




i301.photobucket.comi301.photobucket.com
i301.photobucket.comi301.photobucket.com
2013-06-17 04:13:41 PM
1 votes:
The GOP and the Gay Marriage issue:

www.donquijote.cc
2013-06-17 04:12:33 PM
1 votes:

xanadian: What? Make abortion funny? What the hell are they gonna do?  Make big rubber aborted fetus puppets and do a routine with them or something?


That abortion doctor? He's just in it for the jokes.

/He just took tips, but if you rub it, it's little head waggles back and to the left. Back and to the left.
//Try the veal. It's like a baby cow, but not a cow fetus. Cause a baby cow could barely feed us! Thank you, g'nite.
2013-06-17 03:55:49 PM
1 votes:

Sgt Otter: [www.captainscomments.com image 575x200]

"Sheesh, at most 300,000 Iraqi civilians died.  BFD.  Also, ass."


I sure hope that slut isn't demanding that I pay for her damn birth control.  Look at her, whoring around in stupid political cartoons like a whore.
2013-06-17 03:51:40 PM
1 votes:

HotWingConspiracy: We can all laugh now, but I give us about two election cycles before these people start shooting.


I will enjoy watching them be shot and burned. A Waco a week for a couple months would put these retards where they belong.
2013-06-17 03:43:36 PM
1 votes:

Satanic_Hamster: Raharu: Yes, even the dogs.

img850.imageshack.us

I don't know what's worse; that someone made that, or that someone made it, looked at it, and still decided to post that on the internet.  Not only is it not funny, the quality of the artwork is just horrible.


There is this godawful cartoonist I shoved out of my mind. He drew in black and white and everyone looked like they were farking melting. The only character to not look like that, ironically, was the guy from Indiana Jones who got his face melted during the opening of the Ark (which was used for some stupid political joke).
2013-06-17 03:33:42 PM
1 votes:
I always liked this conservative humor:

www.morethings.com

But they were happy to make fun of themselves.
2013-06-17 03:27:12 PM
1 votes:
"Dilation?  More like die-lation, AMIRITE?"
2013-06-17 03:26:45 PM
1 votes:

Raharu: Today, we must all remember the horrors of the Holocaust. And remember not only that it can happen again, but inevitably will happen again if our eyes remain closed and our voices silent.


you may want to silence the voices in your head at least.
2013-06-17 03:24:52 PM
1 votes:

Biological Ali: sweetmelissa31: Sgt Otter: There is a whole series of these.

[blog.beliefnet.com image 342x463]

This Mom was apparently getting around.

In other news, there is a comic strip less funny than Mallard Filmore.

[media.tumblr.com image 500x281]


"Family Circus" now looks like the epitome of quality high comedy.

*headdesk*
2013-06-17 03:23:45 PM
1 votes:

Raharu: [img211.imageshack.us image 800x392]


Here's the Commentary for that comic:


The commentary is hilarious, though completely inadvertently. I imagine a large puddle of drool collecting on his desk as he typed this.
2013-06-17 03:18:02 PM
1 votes:
test.axisofweevil.com
2013-06-17 03:16:35 PM
1 votes:

what_now: CapeFearCadaver: But women like me love being handed baby booties when I'm going to get a papsmear.

You can put them on your toes so you feel more festive in the stirrups.


*snort*
2013-06-17 03:16:11 PM
1 votes:

Raharu: serial_crusher: Raharu: Here's the artists Commentary on that particular comic.

When asked about the nightmarish horrors of Dr. Kermit Gosnell's abortion clinic, the president (who has previously advocated killing infants who are born alive after a failed abortion) said that he couldn't talk about a legal matter which was unresolved but, like Bill Clinton, he believe that abortions should be "safe, legal, and rare."Hope n' Change was baffled by what meaning of "rare" he could be referring to, until Mrs. Jarlsberg explained that the dog-eating Mr. Soetoro was probably using a culinary term.

see, now that's a good bit funnier than the comic itself.  While most of them are mediocre, I have hope that that comic will one day change into something great.

Yes because the man who made this will surely one day be counted amongst the comedy greats!

[img27.imageshack.us image 573x781]


I think he should enlist his wife to write his comics. She at least seems to get some of the magic of homonyms.
2013-06-17 03:07:19 PM
1 votes:
Q: How many homo-gays does it take to get an abortion?

A: None butsecks is teh gross!
2013-06-17 03:03:02 PM
1 votes:
What's the difference between an embryonic fetus and a fully-grown baby?

Nothing.
2013-06-17 02:59:00 PM
1 votes:

serial_crusher: The big problem with that method though, is that you get fuddy duddies on both sides who get offended by the crudity of the humor and ignore the message that comes with it. You're right that it's a byproduct of the black-and-white mentality. You have to either be unfunny or go to ridiculous hyperbole, because you live in a world of extremes. I don't see that as a flaw of the comedians though, but just the audience being unable to put the offensiveness of a joke aside.


The audience is fine. Louis CK, for instance, is incredibly popular and his brand of comedy is hardly tame. The problem with South Park is that it just isn't that good.
2013-06-17 02:55:03 PM
1 votes:

FloydA: ALL GIRLS AGREE TO PULL PANTIES DOWN: Sgt Otter: God Is My Co-Pirate: This is going to be "Poochie says abortions are hilarious to the max, dude!" isn't it?

[www.ncregister.com image 342x468]

There is a whole series of these.

[prolifescranton.org image 734x554]

Worst.  Pride Float.  Ever.


How do you make a fetus float?


Drown the mother in the pool an wait awhile.
2013-06-17 02:50:01 PM
1 votes:

Cantankerous Gnome: Hey, do any of you farkers posting Umbert the Unborn have the expressed written permission of Gary Cangemi?


What if I have the implied oral permission of Cary Gangemi?
2013-06-17 02:49:24 PM
1 votes:

RodneyToady: "How do you make abortion funny?"

Clown abortions?


Voter to Candidate: Where do you stand on abortions?
Candidate: One foot on the neck and the other on the sternum.
2013-06-17 02:47:10 PM
1 votes:

Aarontology: You know who has extremely low abortion rates?

Gay people.


No, Gay doctors are the ones performing the abortions.

encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com
2013-06-17 02:46:22 PM
1 votes:

Somacandra: Fair use includes cultural commentary, analysis and education. Plus you can never reach Cary. He's always got his head stuck up some preggo chick's coont for research.


to be fair, i doubt this would actually fall within the proper ambit of fair use, but i promise to try to rally the Fark Lawyers Brigade to help out if you get sued* - not because of this guy's politics, but because he is possibly the least funny man in history.

/* not an offer of representation in any way shape or form.  Void in Canada.
2013-06-17 02:45:34 PM
1 votes:

sweetmelissa31: Knock knock
Who's there?
Minority
Minority who?
Minority who wants an abortion
At least you're not gay


Hey, maybe she wants an abortion so she could leave her boyfriend for her lesbian lover.
2013-06-17 02:44:30 PM
1 votes:

Somacandra: Raharu: Have you never read hope and change comics?
Here's today's strip.

I don't get it. Is the joke supposed to be that she wants more children and Barack is infertile? Or that Barack is not the father of his own children? Or what? Or that she's secretly gay and hates penises but loves kids? Seriously--what is the joke supposed to be?


I believe the author is trying to challenge the stereotype of black males as having large penii by implying that Michelle would have preferred to continue having sexual relations with her turkey baster instead of it dumping her when she got pregnant.
2013-06-17 02:42:09 PM
1 votes:

Cantankerous Gnome: Hey, do any of you farkers posting Umbert the Unborn have the expressed written permission of Gary Cangemi?


Considering nobody's posting these to make a profit, and a lot of people are being exposed to his work for the first time, I'm thinking it's going to get him more attention and increase his viewer base.  That said, he's free to request a takedown, to which I'm sure the Farkers-That-Be will approve.
2013-06-17 02:39:42 PM
1 votes:

Aarontology: You know who has extremely low abortion rates?


Countries where abortion is legal?

(Oh wait, I'm sorry. Not supposed to bring facts into this.)
2013-06-17 02:39:21 PM
1 votes:

Target Builder: It's pretty impressive how they manage to completely remove the woman from the comic.


3.bp.blogspot.com

Not if the unborn child is female.
2013-06-17 02:39:00 PM
1 votes:
This is going to backfire horribly. When you start out only two steps from a rape joke, it's not going to take you long to just stumble there. Especially these guys.
2013-06-17 02:38:43 PM
1 votes:

Lunchlady: Lunchlady: nmrsnr: Dead baby joke thread?

/what's the difference between an abortion and sand?

I guess it has to be me.

Why?

Errrr. What?


I'm guessing it's something about getting stuff in or out of your vagina.
2013-06-17 02:38:28 PM
1 votes:

Target Builder: "How do you make abortion funny?"

I do hope they run with this one.

Sgt Otter:

[www.ncregister.com image 342x468]

There is a whole series of these.

It's pretty impressive how they manage to completely remove the woman from the comic.


A lot of abortion cartoons depict the mother as either satanically evil, absolutely silent while other characters speak for her, or forced to abort by evil strawmen. It's terrible.
2013-06-17 02:37:39 PM
1 votes:
Dear rightwing,

Get back to me when you develop the ability to be funny about anything.
2013-06-17 02:37:22 PM
1 votes:

Fark It: No one suggested changing any positions, only finding better packaging for the ones they already have. "I do not believe we should sacrifice our values to win elections," Koroson said.

The Democrats do, that's why they're winning.  It also helps to be right when it comes to social issues....


It's refreshing to see that the GOP didn't learn anything from the last election.
2013-06-17 02:37:07 PM
1 votes:

ALL GIRLS AGREE TO PULL PANTIES DOWN: Sgt Otter: God Is My Co-Pirate: This is going to be "Poochie says abortions are hilarious to the max, dude!" isn't it?

[www.ncregister.com image 342x468]

There is a whole series of these.

[prolifescranton.org image 734x554]

Worst.  Pride Float.  Ever.

ih0.redbubble.net
2013-06-17 02:36:08 PM
1 votes:

sweetmelissa31: In other news, there is a comic strip less funny than Mallard Filmore.


Yeah, "Umbert" is pretty shiatty as cartoons go. Even his name sucks. It's (probably) a ripoff of "Dilbert," because "-berts" are funny. Why the "Um-" prefix though? It rhymes with "Un-" as in "unborn." Kinda. I guess.

/Dilbert's dog was originally going to be named "Dildog," but the publishing syndicate nixed that idea. True story.
2013-06-17 02:36:01 PM
1 votes:

Somacandra: Raharu: Have you never read hope and change comics?
Here's today's strip.

I don't get it. Is the joke supposed to be that she wants more children and Barack is infertile? Or that Barack is not the father of his own children? Or what? Or that she's secretly gay and hates penises but loves kids? Seriously--what is the joke supposed to be?



Check the comments, the writer says he may have been Bi enough to get the job done.
2013-06-17 02:35:35 PM
1 votes:
Yeah! Then we'll get the youth pastor to wear jeans and put product in his hair and learn three chords on the guitar! It's a f*cking lock!

Guys, this is just the time in western society when we swing the needle back towards Secular Humanism for awhile. Sit it out for a generation or two. I PROMISE you that when the inevitable ennui settles in, somebody will look you up in the phone book and you can get dialed back in for a little while.
2013-06-17 02:34:09 PM
1 votes:
Whats 12 inches long and will make a woman cry all night?
2013-06-17 02:33:51 PM
1 votes:
"How do you make abortion funny?"

I do hope they run with this one.

Sgt Otter:

[www.ncregister.com image 342x468]

There is a whole series of these.


It's pretty impressive how they manage to completely remove the woman from the comic.
2013-06-17 02:33:18 PM
1 votes:
Travis Korson, the grass-roots director of the Virginia chapter, suggested framing marriage as an economic issue. "Gay marriage undermines that basic family unit," he said, and that, in turn, hurts the economy.

It doesn't matter how good your logic might be if no one believes your horseshiat premise.
2013-06-17 02:31:53 PM
1 votes:

Raharu: Have you never read hope and change comics?
Here's today's strip.


I don't get it. Is the joke supposed to be that she wants more children and Barack is infertile? Or that Barack is not the father of his own children? Or what? Or that she's secretly gay and hates penises but loves kids? Seriously--what is the joke supposed to be?
2013-06-17 02:31:50 PM
1 votes:
Liberty University senior class president Chelsea Patterson offered that "a lot of my peers see the GOP as kind of old school," suggesting the party needed some rebranding and a better strategy of connecting with popular culture.

Repackage the same old policy positions? Hey, nobody's suggested that before. Maybe it'll work!

Hawkins said it was because the party was too moderate. "We keep nominating moderates and saying we need a big tent, but we keep losing."

Yes! The GOP needs to go even further right! It's the only way!

No one suggested changing any positions, only finding better packaging for the ones they already have. "I do not believe we should sacrifice our values to win elections," Koroson said.

Repackage the same old policy positions? Hey, nobody's suggested that before. Maybe it'll work!

--

These are the young, visionary, forward thinkers of the social conservative movement. Presumably. Nary a new idea among them.
2013-06-17 02:31:38 PM
1 votes:

Lunchlady: nmrsnr: Dead baby joke thread?

/what's the difference between an abortion and sand?

I guess it has to be me.

Why?


Errrr. What?
2013-06-17 02:31:06 PM
1 votes:

what_now: The named the black fetus Elwood. Holy shiat.


He's a Blues musician.  They're all black, right?
2013-06-17 02:30:11 PM
1 votes:

sweetmelissa31: Sgt Otter: There is a whole series of these.

[blog.beliefnet.com image 342x463]

This Mom was apparently getting around.

In other news, there is a comic strip less funny than Mallard Filmore.


media.tumblr.com
2013-06-17 02:29:31 PM
1 votes:

sweetmelissa31: Sgt Otter: There is a whole series of these.



This Mom was apparently getting around.

In other news, there is a comic strip less funny than Mallard Filmore.


This fetus comic has yet to give Jews big crooked noses and call Jon Stewart a child molester.
2013-06-17 02:29:30 PM
1 votes:

what_now: "A Baby's Womb". This is what  the right wing thinks of women.


i.imgur.com

THAT DIDN'T STOP ME FROM PILLAGING YOUR MOM'S WETLAND !!!!!! HAR-OL
2013-06-17 02:28:27 PM
1 votes:

sweetmelissa31: Sgt Otter: There is a whole series of these.

[blog.beliefnet.com image 342x463]

This Mom was apparently getting around.

In other news, there is a comic strip less funny than Mallard Filmore.


sweetmelissa31: Sgt Otter: There is a whole series of these.

[blog.beliefnet.com image 342x463]

This Mom was apparently getting around.

In other news, there is a comic strip less funny than Mallard Filmore.



Have you never read hope and change comics?
Here's today's strip.

img844.imageshack.us
2013-06-17 02:25:13 PM
1 votes:

sweetmelissa31: Sgt Otter: There is a whole series of these.

[blog.beliefnet.com image 342x463]

This Mom was apparently getting around.

In other news, there is a comic strip less funny than Mallard Filmore.


No respect. No respect.

3.bp.blogspot.com
2013-06-17 02:24:23 PM
1 votes:

sweetmelissa31: In other news, there is a comic strip less funny than Mallard Filmore.


i.imgur.com

The last time I saw my Mom, she "spit an egg" at me!

So I got up and left the "WOMB!"

LAUGHTER OL
2013-06-17 02:21:12 PM
1 votes:
The named the black fetus Elwood. Holy shiat.
2013-06-17 02:17:19 PM
1 votes:

Sgt Otter: God Is My Co-Pirate: This is going to be "Poochie says abortions are hilarious to the max, dude!" isn't it?

[www.ncregister.com image 342x468]

There is a whole series of these.


Ok..I don't understand. Is he saying that it was more dangerous to be a fetus before we knew about folic acid and fetal alcohol syndrome?  Or is it..more dangerous now because he has to dodge coathangers? Or..wat?

Also, has he started a little fire inside her uterus? What the fark?
2013-06-17 02:02:44 PM
1 votes:

God Is My Co-Pirate: This is going to be "Poochie says abortions are hilarious to the max, dude!" isn't it?


www.ncregister.com

There is a whole series of these.
2013-06-17 01:41:04 PM
1 votes:
This is going to be "Poochie says abortions are hilarious to the max, dude!" isn't it?
2013-06-17 01:33:13 PM
1 votes:
t2.gstatic.com

that's my bush did it!
2013-06-17 12:44:24 PM
1 votes:

serial_crusher: I always thought there should be an aborted fetus superhero called the Miscarriage of Justice


LOL
 
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