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(Salon)   Republicans develop plan to appeal to millenials: make gay marriage and abortion funny   (salon.com) divider line 326
    More: Amusing, social conservatism, youth vote, abortions  
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4982 clicks; posted to Politics » on 17 Jun 2013 at 2:20 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-06-17 05:41:25 PM  

Arkanaut: xanadian: What? Make abortion funny? What the hell are they gonna do?  Make big rubber aborted fetus puppets and do a routine with them or something?

Stop giving Jeff Dunham new ideas!


Giving?
 
2013-06-17 05:41:36 PM  

Lunchlady: Lunchlady: nmrsnr: Dead baby joke thread?

/what's the difference between an abortion and sand?

I guess it has to be me.

Why?

Errrr. What?


You don't have to take abortions to the playground?
 
2013-06-17 05:42:09 PM  
Clown doctor after jamming an ultrasound probe into his patient's hoohah - "Does this feel funny to you?"
/tip your waitress
 
2013-06-17 05:42:31 PM  
Too late, O Republican Party:

i78.photobucket.com

TEArell: The facts of life... to make a radical alteration in the evolvement of an American political party is fatal. A coding sequence cannot be revised once it's been established.
GOP Batty: Why not?
TEArell: Because by the second mid-term of incubation, any cells that have undergone TEA Party reversion mutation give rise to revertant colonies, like rats leaving a sinking ship; then the ship... sinks.
GOP Batty: What about EMS-3 Moderate recombination?
TEArell: We've already tried it - Huntsman, Collins, Snowe, Brown, Lugar......; it created a virus so lethal the subject was dead before it even left the table.
GOP Batty: Then a RINO repressor protein that would block the operating cells.
TEArell: Wouldn't obstruct replication; but it does give rise to an error in replication, so that the newly formed DNA strand carries with it a TEA Party mutation - and you've got a virus again... but this, all of this is academic. You were made as well as we could make you.
GOP Batty: But not to last.
TEArell: The light that burns twice as bright burns for half as long - and you have burned so very, very brightly, GOP. Look at you: you're the Prodigal Son; you're quite a prize!
GOP Batty: I've done... questionable things.
TEArell: Also extraordinary things; revel in your time.
GOP Batty: Nothing the God of Politics wouldn't let you into heaven for.
 
2013-06-17 05:42:59 PM  
As discussed in my Philosophy class last semester, this whole debate on gay marriage and marriage equality is missing the key underlying point.

This ENTIRE debate is a waste of time. The reason being is that the government should NOT have a say in marriage AT ALL. None. It is an overreaching and unnecessary intrusion. Consider this. Originally, you could only marry people of your own race. Then, they changed it to allow that. Now we're going towards allowing same sex marriage. At this point, there's no reason to not allow multiple wives or husbands, because that would be the next logical step.

Marriage is a contract. Nothing more. Nothing less. In practice you can actually gain all the benefits of marriage through setting up contracts and legal documents. If you wanted to, you can gain all the benefits of marriage, with your friend, by setting up a contract. You can gain all the benefits of marriage with five people if you wanted to, by setting up a contract(shared bank accounts, property, power of attorney etc). The contract is then enforced by the courts. Done.

So what's the point. Get government out of the marriage business other than recognizing and enforcing contracts.
 
2013-06-17 05:43:15 PM  
In other words, win over young voters by continuing to ignore the issues that are actually important to them. But with LOLcats. Great plan, guys.
 
2013-06-17 05:44:37 PM  

Arkanaut: xanadian: What? Make abortion funny? What the hell are they gonna do?  Make big rubber aborted fetus puppets and do a routine with them or something?

Stop giving Jeff Dunham new ideas!


I guess instead of that stupid "Muslim" puppet he uses with "I keel you!" as a catchphrase, he can hold the fetus puppet up and have the audience shout "I KEEL YOU!"...
 
2013-06-17 05:48:08 PM  
img9.imageshack.us

It's official: Mitt Romney crushed Barack Obama in the first debate. Mitt was strong, personable, had complete command of the facts, and radiated leadership. Barry looked stressed, petulant, gave rambling and seemingly meaningless answers, and spent a lot of time making unhappy faces while staring down at his podium (he was clearly afraid to make lasting eye contact with Mitt).

And if you think I'm cheering Mitt's performance just because I allowed myself a sip or two of scotch when it became clear which way the wind was blowing, just check out Chris Matthews' apoplectic meltdown in the minutes immediately following the debate. I guarantee you that he needed to change his adult diapers at the next commercial break.
 
2013-06-17 05:48:16 PM  

AnonAmbientLight: So what's the point. Get government out of the marriage business other than recognizing and enforcing contracts.


A contract cannot bind a non-adhering third party to take or refrain from an act.  Marriage law can and does this regularly.  Don't take a philosophy class to understand law, go to law school and take a class on family law.
 
2013-06-17 05:49:23 PM  
Why not? That tactic worked out great with AIDS, rape, and torture.
 
2013-06-17 05:51:11 PM  

RyogaM: AnonAmbientLight: So what's the point. Get government out of the marriage business other than recognizing and enforcing contracts.

A contract cannot bind a non-adhering third party to take or refrain from an act.  Marriage law can and does this regularly.  Don't take a philosophy class to understand law, go to law school and take a class on family law.


It was a Philosophy of Law class actually. So you're suggesting that i mean to say that you can bind someone that is not willing to be apart of a contract? What kind of contracts are you thinking of?

I guess i should e-mail my professor and tell him Random McFarkGuy says his wrong.
 
2013-06-17 05:55:08 PM  

Sgt Otter: "Sheesh, at most 300,000 Iraqi civilians died. BFD. Also, ass."


Oh, Lordy. That's not a comic, that's hentai for hard-up right-wing bloggers.
 
2013-06-17 05:56:57 PM  

WizardofToast: Sgt Otter: WizardofToast: Skyrmion: Liberal-leaning humor can be just as bland and awful as the Conservative stuff. I present, "The Brilliant Mind of Edison Lee":

There's one really lazy liberal comic which is just Calvin and Hobbes with all the political messages and none of the humor. While Calvin and Hobbes was about a wacky kid with a wild imagination and a relatable child personality when it came to school, imagination, Saturdays and the occasional tough moment in life, the other comic was about a kid trying to parrot liberal politics while her animal friends either agreed or conservative strawmanned at her.

Liberals and conservatives can be horrible with humor. The conservative side often carries more racist jokes because they have more old people that are unaccepting of social change. But I can garuntee there is some racist liberal humor out there somewhere.

Ted Rall, is a liberal cartoonist who is an absolute asshole.  When he was wasn't mocking Pat Tillman or 9/11 widows, he routinely referred to Colin Powell and Condi Rice as "Bush's House N---gers."

The momet you said Ted Rall, the image of his Pat Tillman comic returned to my brain. Panel by panel. Word by word. I even remember his comment to Condi and Colin.

What a goddamn tool.


I'm surprised anyone could READ those strips.  Rall CANNOT DRAW.
 
2013-06-17 06:01:54 PM  
Republicans generally don't get "funny." To them, funny is pointing and laughing at people who aren't like them. Not surprisingly, this generally comes off as mean-spirited and hateful. Millennials don't usually dig that kind of thing.
 
2013-06-17 06:01:56 PM  

AnonAmbientLight: I guess i should e-mail my professor and tell him Random McFarkGuy says his wrong.


I said, you CANNOT bind someone who is not party to the contract.  If  I create a contract which says my friend can be on my insurance plan at the discounted family rate, that contract is unenforceable against the insurance company.  The insurance company is not party to the contract.  It has no power to force the insurance company to do anything.  Marriage has a whole slew of benefits that are conferred by third parties, none of whom would be bound under the scheme proposed by your professor.

It's nice you like your professor, but don't think just because he says something you happen to agree with, and just because you took one class, you suddenly have all the knowledge you need to solve a social issue that's been around for a while.
 
2013-06-17 06:02:36 PM  
Man, I thought some of the online comics I read have bad days... the closest I came to a laugh at any picture posted here was the Spiderman pic. Those comics are farking awful.
 
2013-06-17 06:05:54 PM  

Marshal805: I'm surprised anyone could READ those strips.  Rall CANNOT DRAW.


I'd like to remind the court that this thread includes comics composed entirely of cut-and-pasted press images with photoshop filters on them.
 
2013-06-17 06:11:12 PM  

Marshal805: WizardofToast: Sgt Otter: WizardofToast: Skyrmion: Liberal-leaning humor can be just as bland and awful as the Conservative stuff. I present, "The Brilliant Mind of Edison Lee":

There's one really lazy liberal comic which is just Calvin and Hobbes with all the political messages and none of the humor. While Calvin and Hobbes was about a wacky kid with a wild imagination and a relatable child personality when it came to school, imagination, Saturdays and the occasional tough moment in life, the other comic was about a kid trying to parrot liberal politics while her animal friends either agreed or conservative strawmanned at her.

Liberals and conservatives can be horrible with humor. The conservative side often carries more racist jokes because they have more old people that are unaccepting of social change. But I can garuntee there is some racist liberal humor out there somewhere.

Ted Rall, is a liberal cartoonist who is an absolute asshole.  When he was wasn't mocking Pat Tillman or 9/11 widows, he routinely referred to Colin Powell and Condi Rice as "Bush's House N---gers."

The momet you said Ted Rall, the image of his Pat Tillman comic returned to my brain. Panel by panel. Word by word. I even remember his comment to Condi and Colin.

What a goddamn tool.

I'm surprised anyone could READ those strips.  Rall CANNOT DRAW.


He's not much worse than Matt Groening, who's enjoyed a fair amount of success.  It was the subject matter.

radio.weblogs.com
kevinczap.com
 
2013-06-17 06:18:42 PM  

Sgt Otter: Ted Rall, is a liberal cartoonist who is an absolute asshole. When he was wasn't mocking Pat Tillman or 9/11 widows, he routinely referred to Colin Powell and Condi Rice as "Bush's House N---gers."


Maybe I should be embarrassed to admit it, but I actually bought and read a couple of Rall's books. In one, he discussed a multi-million dollar bank theft plot he was involved in, and only didn't execute because one of his co-conspirators got cold feet. In another, he lays out his case that the US war in Afghanistan was exclusively about a plan to get an oil pipeline built. After the government was replaced and no major efforts were made on the pipeline, he refused to admit any error, and in fact insisted he had somehow been proved right.
 
2013-06-17 06:19:53 PM  
This thread is an abortion of good taste and humor.
 
2013-06-17 06:22:32 PM  
Does anyone have that image from something like Young Conservative Magazine with the "Daily Joke" being a drawing of a graveyard and something about soldiers dying?
 
2013-06-17 06:30:50 PM  

Satanic_Hamster: Hawkins said it was because the party was too moderate. "We keep nominating moderates and saying we need a big tent, but we keep losing."

Yeah, that's why you keep losing dudes.  It's because your candidates are "too moderate."  Here's the thing, no one outside of your closed social group thought Romney was a moderate.


The funny thing is that the closest that Romney got to beating Obama was after the 1st debate when he started to run frantically to the center.

It was only after he started to appease to his base again did the gap grew bigger and bigger.

Same thing happened with McCain, he was running close to Obama for the beginning half of the election cycle but once he decided to appease to his base by picking Palin to run as VP, his polling numbers started to tank.

But as long as the GOP doesn't learn this lesson, the less likely they will win in the future.
 
2013-06-17 06:38:12 PM  
Okay look. These "HopeNChage" cartoons are obviously made by a liberal trying to make conservative cartoonists look bad (or worse, rather). Nobody's this bad by accident - these cartoons were obviously drawn up by someone going out of their way to make them as un-comedic as possible.
 
2013-06-17 06:39:36 PM  
I'm not laughing at the abortion jokes. I guess you can say there's...

*sunglasses*

...womb for improvement
 
2013-06-17 06:40:42 PM  

James F. Campbell: sweetmelissa31: Is this an argument for opening our borders?

[1.bp.blogspot.com image 342x477]

These people are a dangerous combination of evil and stupid.


In all honestly, the "Umbert" comics don't strike me as evil. The logic is terrible and myopic, the jokes aren't actually jokes, and there is a weird tendency to view women as passive incubators... but aside from thatit's pretty tame.

The "HopeNChange" strips, on the other hand, appear to be based entirely on paranoia, spite and bigotry.
 
2013-06-17 06:43:01 PM  
Mrtraveler01: Same thing happened with McCain, he was running close to Obama for the beginning half of the election cycle but once he decided to appease to his base try to pick up disaffected Hillary voters from Hillaryis44  by picking Palin to run as VP, his polling numbers started to tank.
 
2013-06-17 06:46:30 PM  
Conservatives can be funny, just not how or when they want to be funny. Like back in 2005 when Bush was President and rightwingers from 'Protest Warrior' went out to support the conservatives with ironic signs at a pro-war protest in Crawford, Texas. The conservatards there didn't understand irony and so attacked the people from 'Protest Warrior'. That was funny.
 
2013-06-17 06:48:36 PM  

Marcus Aurelius: RodneyToady: Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get an abortion.

Why did the conservative politician cross the road?
Because his dick was stuck in a chicken.


RE: fried chicken recipe

Instructions unclear, dick stuck in chicken
 
2013-06-17 07:03:19 PM  

what_now: OdradekRex: What's the difference between the GOP religious right and the Taliban?

The Taliban wears beards and the GOP marries them.


what_now, I farking love you
 
2013-06-17 07:03:41 PM  
People should chill out about abortion jokes, it's not like anyone died.
 
2013-06-17 07:05:02 PM  
As the Republican Party tries to remake itself after the 2012 election to better appeal to young people and minorities

Hm, I dunno that sarcasm is going to be able to overcome "voter ID bills" and "immigration reform" that doesn't actually address either issue but legitimizes harassing minority citizens.  I also suspect it won't be enough to overcome the anti-abortion and anti-birth-control stuff and the opposition to the integration of the military that specifically targets and harasses younger people without, again, actually addressing any kind of real problem.

You need to change those planks in the platform or at least make some sort of attempt to hide them if you want younger people and minorities to support you, apart from a few outliers.

I mean, yes, gay marriage opposition is a problem with these demographics, but it's not THE problem.  You have to focus on fixing the actual direct attacks on the welfare of the voters in the target groups, and ensure they at least aren't openly supported by the majority of the party.
 
2013-06-17 07:06:11 PM  

Hickory-smoked: In all honestly, the "Umbert" comics don't strike me as evil. The logic is terrible and myopic, the jokes aren't actually jokes, and there is a weird tendency to view women as passive incubators... but aside from thatit's pretty tame.


I've bolded the part that's pretty goddamn evil. Just because it's not *malicious* doesn't mean it's not evil.

"Down there - he said - are people who will follow any dragon, worship any god, ignore any inequity. All out of a kind of humdrum, everyday badness. Not the really high, creative loathsomeness of the great sinners, but a sort of mass-produced darkness of the soul. Sin, you might say, without a trace of originality. They accept evil not because they say yes, but because they don't say no."  -Havelock Vetinari, from Terry Pratchett's Guards! Guards!

Also:

"There is a very interesting debate raging at the moment about the nature of sin, for example," said Oats.
"And what do they think? Against it, are they?" said Granny Weatherwax.
"It's not as simple as that. It's not a black and white issue. There are so many shades of gray."
"Nope."
"Pardon?"
"There's no grays, only white that's got grubby. I'm surprised you don't know that. And sin, young man, is when you treat people as things. Including yourself. That's what sin is."
"It's a lot more complicated than that-"
"No. It ain't. When people say things are a lot more complicated than that, they means they're getting worried that they won't like the truth. People as things, that's where it starts."
"Oh, I'm sure there are worse crimes-"
"But they starts with thinking about people as things..."

(From Carpe Jugulum)
 
2013-06-17 07:08:24 PM  
Will people please stop linking these unfunny comics?  I'm afraid that the authors will start thinking they've done something right with their lives when they see their bandwidth spike today.
 
2013-06-17 07:18:45 PM  

Hickory-smoked: The "HopeNChange" strips, on the other hand, appear to be based entirely on paranoia, spite and bigotry.


And made up shiat.  Don't forget all the made up shiat.
 
2013-06-17 07:22:15 PM  
Abortion jokes? I'm sure sickipedia can help.

A police officer is driving down a quiet road when he sees a pregnant Chav girl with a coat hanger up her pussy.
Police officer says ''I'm arresting you on suspicion of performing an illegal abortion''
The Chav girl replies ''Nah mate, I'm just piercin' its ears, innit."

I've just been banned from eBay.
Apparently, a rat and a plastic tube does not constitute a DIY abortion kit.

BBC: "First pro-abortion advert to be broadcast"
I'm guessing it's just a photo of Piers Morgan for 15 seconds.

I jokingly told my girlfriend that her farts smelled like dead babies & she flipped out.
She's been acting so weird since the abortion.

"Don't kid yourself."
Will be a great slogan for my new abortion clinic.
 
2013-06-17 07:42:20 PM  

Parthenogenetic: Marshal805: WizardofToast: Sgt Otter: WizardofToast: Skyrmion: Liberal-leaning humor can be just as bland and awful as the Conservative stuff. I present, "The Brilliant Mind of Edison Lee":

There's one really lazy liberal comic which is just Calvin and Hobbes with all the political messages and none of the humor. While Calvin and Hobbes was about a wacky kid with a wild imagination and a relatable child personality when it came to school, imagination, Saturdays and the occasional tough moment in life, the other comic was about a kid trying to parrot liberal politics while her animal friends either agreed or conservative strawmanned at her.

Liberals and conservatives can be horrible with humor. The conservative side often carries more racist jokes because they have more old people that are unaccepting of social change. But I can garuntee there is some racist liberal humor out there somewhere.

Ted Rall, is a liberal cartoonist who is an absolute asshole.  When he was wasn't mocking Pat Tillman or 9/11 widows, he routinely referred to Colin Powell and Condi Rice as "Bush's House N---gers."

The momet you said Ted Rall, the image of his Pat Tillman comic returned to my brain. Panel by panel. Word by word. I even remember his comment to Condi and Colin.

What a goddamn tool.

I'm surprised anyone could READ those strips.  Rall CANNOT DRAW.

He's not much worse than Matt Groening, who's enjoyed a fair amount of success.  It was the subject matter.

[radio.weblogs.com image 500x387]
[kevinczap.com image 720x759]


Nope.  He could be completely apolitical and his art would still look like dog shiat.
 
2013-06-17 07:54:21 PM  

Parthenogenetic: He's not much worse than Matt Groening, who's enjoyed a fair amount of success.  It was the subject matter.


That's an interesting observation. I'd have to say you're right. My only question, though, is who in the hell is Matt Groening?

/Kidding.
//Seriously, though...Ted Rall's an asshole.
 
2013-06-17 08:04:37 PM  
Great.  Another piece about how the Republican party wizards think all they need to do is some "re-branding."  No awareness at all that their support is eroding due to their terrible policies, hateful rhetoric, and obeisance to the worst of the nutball right.
 
2013-06-17 08:20:24 PM  

Raoul Eaton: Great.  Another piece about how the Republican party wizards think all they need to do is some "re-branding."  No awareness at all that their support is eroding due to their terrible policies, hateful rhetoric, and obeisance to the worst of the nutball right.


Look, it's not hate, all right?  It's love.  Tough love.

Minorities?  Well, we didn't make them stupid, lazy, and genetically inferior to white people, God did. We are just reminding them of their many shortcomings, so that they won't feel the crushing disappointment of inevitable failure when they try to attain the same level of achievement as Real Americans.  Out of love.

And broads? Well, come on. You really think they're equal?  Really?  You're not kidding....?  Are you a girl too?  Well that explains it.  What's that?  You over there...?  You too? You're a guy?  What are you, gay or something?

And speaking of gay, God hates homosexuality.  We are just trying to warn the gays their souls are in danger of eternal damnation, that's all. Out of love and concern for the salvation of their immortal souls.  Who Jesus hates, by the way, because they're gay.  I mean, being gay is just as sinful as being a pedophile who is turned on by eight year old kids.  You think your opinion matters more than Jesus?  Well, that's just, like, your opinion, man.  Nobody f*cks with the Jesus.  Eight year olds, dude.
 
2013-06-17 08:43:24 PM  
I'm pretty sure it was the children of christianist conservatives that clued me in that I had a heart with the joke that starts off "what do you call two (gay guys) on a skateboard?". My mom had to explain it to me, and we both decided it wasn't very funny at all.
 
2013-06-17 08:48:55 PM  
 
2013-06-17 09:09:19 PM  
Abortion is a funny issue.

You mean, let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it's me, I'm a little farked up maybe, but it's funny how, I mean funny like abortion is a clown, it amuses you? It makes you laugh, it's here to farkin' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How is it funny?
 
2013-06-17 09:10:07 PM  

AnonAmbientLight: Marriage is a contract. Nothing more. Nothing less. In practice you can actually gain all the benefits of marriage through setting up contracts and legal documents. If you wanted to, you can gain all the benefits of marriage, with your friend, by setting up a contract. You can gain all the benefits of marriage with five people if you wanted to, by setting up a contract(shared bank accounts, property, power of attorney etc). The contract is then enforced by the courts. Done.

So what's the point. Get government out of the marriage business other than recognizing and enforcing contracts.


I hate this kind of argument because it doesn't make any sense when you think about it.  Government is involved because government grants special benefits (and sometimes penalties) for married people.  One need only look at a 1040 form to see that.  You cannot gain those benefits using simple contracts.
 
2013-06-17 09:12:29 PM  
I like Tom Tomorrow. He's usually right on the money.

home.comcast.net
 
2013-06-17 09:16:37 PM  
Conservative humor kind of reminds me of contemporary Christian music.
24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-06-17 10:09:03 PM  

RodneyToady: "How do you make abortion funny?"

Clown abortions?


25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-06-17 10:27:17 PM  

Satanic_Hamster: Hickory-smoked: The "HopeNChange" strips, on the other hand, appear to be based entirely on paranoia, spite and bigotry.

And made up shiat.  Don't forget all the made up shiat.


I was filing that under "paranoia," but I suppose we could sort by degrees of fabrication.
 
2013-06-17 10:33:45 PM  

Aarontology: Because if there's one thing young folks respond to, it's "jokes" by religious groups trying to be hip and relevant.


images1.wikia.nocookie.net

Are you telling me sex DOESN'T cause my penis to fall off and be eaten by dogs?!?!?!
 
2013-06-17 10:34:05 PM  

James F. Campbell: I like Tom Tomorrow. He's usually right on the money.

[home.comcast.net image 600x548]



I swear that guy's a Politics Tab regular.

Either that, or he hangs out somewhere with an identical zeitgeist, or he's somehow made a lot of us here see things just like he does, but I think it's most likely he's one of our regulars. A very high proportion of his cartoons feel like they've been incubated in Politics Tab threads I've read a couple days earlier.

And by 'incubated' I don't mean to say it looks like his cartoons are lifted verbatim from discussions here. It just feels like the author hangs around with us, kicks ideas back and forth for a while and maybe tosses out a joke or two now and then, but saves the best ideas he gets for his strips.

Just another crackpot theory of mine.
 
2013-06-17 10:42:45 PM  
Abortion is funny
i108.photobucket.com
 
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