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(Salon)   Republicans develop plan to appeal to millenials: make gay marriage and abortion funny   (salon.com ) divider line
    More: Amusing, social conservatism, youth vote, abortions  
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4990 clicks; posted to Politics » on 17 Jun 2013 at 2:20 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



324 Comments   (+0 »)
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2013-06-17 02:47:10 PM  

Aarontology: You know who has extremely low abortion rates?

Gay people.


No, Gay doctors are the ones performing the abortions.

encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com
 
2013-06-17 02:48:11 PM  
Jackie Martling Favorite Joke:

A guys says to another guy: "You know, I've banging my wife in the same hole for 15 years.  15 years, the same damn hole, every night."

Other guy: "Have you tried flipping her over?"

1st Guy: "What?  And have all those kids running around?"

Yeah, not the greatest.
 
2013-06-17 02:48:58 PM  

Fuggin Bizzy: sweetmelissa31: In other news, there is a comic strip less funny than Mallard Filmore.

Yeah, "Umbert" is pretty shiatty as cartoons go. Even his name sucks. It's (probably) a ripoff of "Dilbert," because "-berts" are funny. Why the "Um-" prefix though? It rhymes with "Un-" as in "unborn." Kinda. I guess.

/Dilbert's dog was originally going to be named "Dildog," but the publishing syndicate nixed that idea. True story.


Maybe for 'umbilical'? Who knows...
 
2013-06-17 02:49:24 PM  

RodneyToady: "How do you make abortion funny?"

Clown abortions?


Voter to Candidate: Where do you stand on abortions?
Candidate: One foot on the neck and the other on the sternum.
 
2013-06-17 02:50:01 PM  

Cantankerous Gnome: Hey, do any of you farkers posting Umbert the Unborn have the expressed written permission of Gary Cangemi?


What if I have the implied oral permission of Cary Gangemi?
 
2013-06-17 02:50:42 PM  

Lunchlady: Why?


You can't eat sand.

/Sorry, it's the only abortion joke I have.
 
2013-06-17 02:51:19 PM  

AlanSmithee: Maybe for 'umbilical'? Who knows...


or it is a name, a variant of Humbert

See also Umberto Eco (who is excellent, unlike these comics)
 
2013-06-17 02:52:55 PM  
img198.imageshack.us

img844.imageshack.us

img37.imageshack.us

img21.imageshack.us
 
2013-06-17 02:53:11 PM  
A black guy, a jew, and a gay guy walk into a bar. The bartenders says "WTF are you guys doing in here?  We don't serve you."
 
2013-06-17 02:53:14 PM  

ALL GIRLS AGREE TO PULL PANTIES DOWN: Sgt Otter: God Is My Co-Pirate: This is going to be "Poochie says abortions are hilarious to the max, dude!" isn't it?

[www.ncregister.com image 342x468]

There is a whole series of these.

[prolifescranton.org image 734x554]

Worst.  Pride Float.  Ever.



How do you make a fetus float?
 
2013-06-17 02:54:15 PM  
home.comcast.net
/Sorry.
 
2013-06-17 02:54:26 PM  

FloydA: ALL GIRLS AGREE TO PULL PANTIES DOWN: Sgt Otter: God Is My Co-Pirate: This is going to be "Poochie says abortions are hilarious to the max, dude!" isn't it?

[www.ncregister.com image 342x468]

There is a whole series of these.

[prolifescranton.org image 734x554]

Worst.  Pride Float.  Ever.


How do you make a fetus float?


I believe that a minimum of two gallons of root beer and five pints of ice cream are required.
 
2013-06-17 02:54:50 PM  

Somacandra: serial_crusher: I always thought there should be an aborted fetus superhero called the Miscarriage of Justice

[i.imgur.com image 639x425]


Those poor men! Someone should write a book about how to avoid huge ships.
 
2013-06-17 02:55:00 PM  

Somacandra: I don't get it. Is the joke supposed to be that she wants more children and Barack is infertile? Or that Barack is not the father of his own children? Or what? Or that she's secretly gay and hates penises but loves kids? Seriously--what is the joke supposed to be?


Obama is a Democrat, and therefore he's not manly enough to impregnate his wife. Hence, the turkey baster.

/those brain cells are never coming back
 
2013-06-17 02:55:03 PM  

FloydA: ALL GIRLS AGREE TO PULL PANTIES DOWN: Sgt Otter: God Is My Co-Pirate: This is going to be "Poochie says abortions are hilarious to the max, dude!" isn't it?

[www.ncregister.com image 342x468]

There is a whole series of these.

[prolifescranton.org image 734x554]

Worst.  Pride Float.  Ever.


How do you make a fetus float?


Drown the mother in the pool an wait awhile.
 
2013-06-17 02:55:05 PM  

FloydA: How do you make a fetus float?


Inflate it with helium?
 
2013-06-17 02:55:11 PM  

Gunther: Somacandra: Seriously--what is the joke supposed to be?

Right wing humor is clearly too sophisticated for you.

Seriously though, there's a reason why 99% of comedians are left-wingers. Comedy requires subtlety, which requires a viewpoint capable of distinguishing shades of gray. If you see everything in absolutist terms you cannot write a joke.


i think the successful formula for right wing humor is that it has to be slightly offensive.  Take the South Park episode with Christopher Reeve for example.  It would be a stretch to call South Park a right wing show in general--they pretty much make fun of everything--but that particular episode resonates with common right wing views.  The whole thing is about Christopher Reeve killing fetuses for personal gain and becoming a super villain in the process.  The way he snaps the fetuses' necks to suck the stem cells out really drives home the supposed vileness of what he's doing.  That's how political humor should work.  Make people laugh, but also get them thinking.

The big problem with that method though, is that you get fuddy duddies on both sides who get offended by the crudity of the humor and ignore the message that comes with it.  You're right that it's a byproduct of the black-and-white mentality.  You have to either be unfunny or go to ridiculous hyperbole, because you live in a world of extremes.  I don't see that as a flaw of the comedians though, but just the audience being unable to put the offensiveness of a joke aside.
 
2013-06-17 02:56:11 PM  

Raharu: [img198.imageshack.us image 850x409]

[img844.imageshack.us image 800x389]

[img37.imageshack.us image 640x309]

[img21.imageshack.us image 800x390]


I have to admit that the rare abortion one made me chuckle. For about a second.
 
2013-06-17 02:56:33 PM  

Granny_Panties: [3.bp.blogspot.com image 320x246]

How do you get an abortion pregnant? You fark it.


Wasn't he in Guilty Gear?
 
2013-06-17 02:57:12 PM  

Cantankerous Gnome: Hey, do any of you farkers posting Umbert the Unborn have the expressed written permission of Gary Cangemi?


Who gives a shiat?
 
2013-06-17 02:58:59 PM  
Raharu:

[img37.imageshack.us image 640x309]

I laughed at the third one.  It's like a Red Meat strip.
 
2013-06-17 02:59:00 PM  

serial_crusher: The big problem with that method though, is that you get fuddy duddies on both sides who get offended by the crudity of the humor and ignore the message that comes with it. You're right that it's a byproduct of the black-and-white mentality. You have to either be unfunny or go to ridiculous hyperbole, because you live in a world of extremes. I don't see that as a flaw of the comedians though, but just the audience being unable to put the offensiveness of a joke aside.


The audience is fine. Louis CK, for instance, is incredibly popular and his brand of comedy is hardly tame. The problem with South Park is that it just isn't that good.
 
2013-06-17 02:59:08 PM  

Serious Black: Raharu: [img198.imageshack.us image 850x409]

[img844.imageshack.us image 800x389]

[img37.imageshack.us image 640x309]

[img21.imageshack.us image 800x390]

I have to admit that the rare abortion one made me chuckle. For about a second.



Here's the artists Commentary on that particular comic.

 When asked about the nightmarish horrors of Dr. Kermit Gosnell's abortion clinic, the president (who has previously advocated killing infants who are born alive after a failed abortion) said that he couldn't talk about a legal matter which was unresolved but, like Bill Clinton, he believe that abortions should be "safe, legal, and rare."Hope n' Change was baffled by what meaning of "rare" he could be referring to, until Mrs. Jarlsberg explained that the dog-eating Mr. Soetoro was  probably using a culinary term.
 
2013-06-17 02:59:10 PM  
The key to humor is truth. This is why the GOP will never have a sense of humor.
 
2013-06-17 02:59:58 PM  
Anyone else notice that in an article about young republicans describing how they need to use humor and sarcasm to reach out to younger voters there isn't a single example of this humor or sarcasm?

I found myself reading TFA and thinking "such as.....?" and wondering when they were going to get to the actual sarcasm and snark that would make me see the error of my liberal baby-killing pot-smoking gay-sex-tolerating lifestyle.
 
2013-06-17 03:00:34 PM  

Voiceofreason01: But they've still not figured out that if you're trying to trick people into voting for you then you've already lost.


Done in one.
 
2013-06-17 03:02:03 PM  

Raharu: Serious Black: Raharu: [img198.imageshack.us image 850x409]

[img844.imageshack.us image 800x389]

[img37.imageshack.us image 640x309]

[img21.imageshack.us image 800x390]

I have to admit that the rare abortion one made me chuckle. For about a second.


Here's the artists Commentary on that particular comic.

 When asked about the nightmarish horrors of Dr. Kermit Gosnell's abortion clinic, the president (who has previously advocated killing infants who are born alive after a failed abortion) said that he couldn't talk about a legal matter which was unresolved but, like Bill Clinton, he believe that abortions should be "safe, legal, and rare."Hope n' Change was baffled by what meaning of "rare" he could be referring to, until Mrs. Jarlsberg explained that the dog-eating Mr. Soetoro was  probably using a culinary term.


I love that the only comic you posted I laughed at was the one where the guy's wife came up with the punchline.
 
2013-06-17 03:02:43 PM  
What these idiots do not realize, is that unless you keep up on current events closely, every day, you will not get the jokes on The Daily Show or the Colbert Report.

Dumbass teabaggers think liberals get their news from those shows, when it is exactly the opposite.
 
2013-06-17 03:03:02 PM  
What's the difference between an embryonic fetus and a fully-grown baby?

Nothing.
 
2013-06-17 03:03:03 PM  

Biological Ali: serial_crusher: The big problem with that method though, is that you get fuddy duddies on both sides who get offended by the crudity of the humor and ignore the message that comes with it. You're right that it's a byproduct of the black-and-white mentality. You have to either be unfunny or go to ridiculous hyperbole, because you live in a world of extremes. I don't see that as a flaw of the comedians though, but just the audience being unable to put the offensiveness of a joke aside.

The audience is fine. Louis CK, for instance, is incredibly popular and his brand of comedy is hardly tame. The problem with South Park is that it just isn't that good.


Well, that too.  Plenty of standup comedians cross that line and do it well (not Bob Saget though.  His entire standup routine is that he's Danny Tanner saying the F word).  But when we get examples of "right wing humor" in these threads, we get that goofy fetus cartoon that's trying really hard to be family friendly while still making a point.  Nobody does a good job of that.
 
2013-06-17 03:04:30 PM  

mpirooz: The key to humor is truth. This is why the GOP will never have a sense of humor.


You could probably come up with good jokes on GOP talking points, but more than likely it would be used as a soapbox or a more than aggressive rant somewhere. If I were clever enough, I could joke about abuse of welfare. But most people that try to just put it on minorities and dip into racist waters. It then comes out as horribly unfunny. This doesn't help that welfare has culturally been labeled as a 'minorities' thing.
 
2013-06-17 03:05:17 PM  

nmrsnr: Dead baby joke thread?

/what's the difference between an abortion and sand?



No right winger has ever secretly got the sand out of her vagina.
 
2013-06-17 03:05:23 PM  

Biological Ali: . The problem with South Park is that it just isn't that good.


And yet it is probably the closest thing you can find to quality right-wing humor. Despite not really being THAT funny or THAT right wing.

I don't know, I guess it's possible that I as a left-winger just don't appreciate right-wing humor. Perhaps "Umbert the Unborn" is the new Calvin and Hobbes.
 
2013-06-17 03:05:28 PM  

Serious Black: Raharu: Serious Black: Raharu: [img198.imageshack.us image 850x409]

[img844.imageshack.us image 800x389]

[img37.imageshack.us image 640x309]

[img21.imageshack.us image 800x390]

I have to admit that the rare abortion one made me chuckle. For about a second.


Here's the artists Commentary on that particular comic.

 When asked about the nightmarish horrors of Dr. Kermit Gosnell's abortion clinic, the president (who has previously advocated killing infants who are born alive after a failed abortion) said that he couldn't talk about a legal matter which was unresolved but, like Bill Clinton, he believe that abortions should be "safe, legal, and rare."Hope n' Change was baffled by what meaning of "rare" he could be referring to, until Mrs. Jarlsberg explained that the dog-eating Mr. Soetoro was  probably using a culinary term.

I love that the only comic you posted I laughed at was the one where the guy's wife came up with the punchline.


And then he proceeded to kill it by explaining it.
 
2013-06-17 03:06:08 PM  

Raharu: Here's the artists Commentary on that particular comic.

When asked about the nightmarish horrors of Dr. Kermit Gosnell's abortion clinic, the president (who has previously advocated killing infants who are born alive after a failed abortion) said that he couldn't talk about a legal matter which was unresolved but, like Bill Clinton, he believe that abortions should be "safe, legal, and rare."Hope n' Change was baffled by what meaning of "rare" he could be referring to, until Mrs. Jarlsberg explained that the dog-eating Mr. Soetoro was probably using a culinary term.


see, now that's a good bit funnier than the comic itself.  While most of them are mediocre, I have hope that that comic will one day change into something great.
 
2013-06-17 03:06:20 PM  

WizardofToast: You could probably come up with good jokes on GOP talking points, but more than likely it would be used as a soapbox or a more than aggressive rant somewhere. If I were clever enough, I could joke about abuse of welfare. But most people that try to just put it on minorities and dip into racist waters. It then comes out as horribly unfunny. This doesn't help that welfare has culturally been labeled as a 'minorities' thing.


Jokes about abuses of welfare are usually based on fundamental misunderstandings of who benefits the most from welfare.
 
2013-06-17 03:06:45 PM  
said Students for Life president Kristan Hawkins ... on how to win millennial voters. "Unfortunately we have to, because this is the generation that we've been dealt."

Gotta love young Republicans trying to win over their peers by displaying contempt for them.
 
2013-06-17 03:06:54 PM  

Cantankerous Gnome: Hey, do any of you farkers posting Umbert the Unborn have the expressed written permission of Gary Cangemi?


You'd best check with whoever is hosting the images.  Get right on that.
 
2013-06-17 03:07:04 PM  

Cantankerous Gnome: Hey, do any of you farkers posting Umbert the Unborn have the expressed written permission of Gary Cangemi?


Well, I have yet to see anybody claim it was their work instead of his. Nobody is using those works in an attempt to profit from them.
And considering that apparently at least a couple Farkers that have not been their before visited that site and increased the hit count (and probably add revenue), I doubt that Gary is going to be terribly upset.
 
2013-06-17 03:07:19 PM  
Q: How many homo-gays does it take to get an abortion?

A: None butsecks is teh gross!
 
2013-06-17 03:07:47 PM  

Raharu: the president (who has previously advocated killing infants who are born alive after a failed abortion)


WTF am I reading?
 
2013-06-17 03:10:26 PM  
Rubes
 
Bf+
2013-06-17 03:10:30 PM  

mpirooz: The key to humor is truth. This is why the GOP will never have a sense of humor.


Even a blind squirrel finds a nut once in a while:
www.chevychase.com
 
2013-06-17 03:10:55 PM  

Raharu: Mrs. Jarlsberg explained that the dog-eating Mr. Soetoro was probably using a culinary term.


10 bucks says she used that exact phrasing
 
2013-06-17 03:11:05 PM  
Travis Korson, the grass-roots director of the Virginia chapter, suggested framing marriage as an economic issue. "Gay marriage undermines that basic family unit," he said, and that, in turn, hurts the economy.

That's a metric ton of fail right there.
 
2013-06-17 03:11:54 PM  
Here, GOP, Jeffrey Rowland can help.

overcompensating.com
 
2013-06-17 03:12:05 PM  

what_now: Somacandra: sweetmelissa31: In other news, there is a comic strip less funny than Mallard Filmore.

[i.imgur.com image 342x477]

The last time I saw my Mom, she "spit an egg" at me!

So I got up and left the "WOMB!"

LAUGHTER OL

"A Baby's Womb".

This is what  the right wing thinks of women.


They also really hate scientists

On the old website that had a whole cast of characters that included a frozen embryo named "Fredo" who "ponders an uncertain future, questions the boundaries of modern science, and dreams of hot chocolate and the warmth of a mother's womb"

They also had mad Doctor Dubious and his "henchperson," Dwight [who] concoct their own brand of modern science unfettered by ethical issues.

And 2B and Not 2B, two unborn alien babies from Panet Paranoid where natural parenting is banned in favor of cloning, giving Umbert a first-hand look at what Earth science has planned for OUR future.
 
2013-06-17 03:13:19 PM  

serial_crusher: Raharu: Here's the artists Commentary on that particular comic.

When asked about the nightmarish horrors of Dr. Kermit Gosnell's abortion clinic, the president (who has previously advocated killing infants who are born alive after a failed abortion) said that he couldn't talk about a legal matter which was unresolved but, like Bill Clinton, he believe that abortions should be "safe, legal, and rare."Hope n' Change was baffled by what meaning of "rare" he could be referring to, until Mrs. Jarlsberg explained that the dog-eating Mr. Soetoro was probably using a culinary term.

see, now that's a good bit funnier than the comic itself.  While most of them are mediocre, I have hope that that comic will one day change into something great.




Yes because the man who made this will surely one day be counted amongst the comedy greats!

img27.imageshack.us
 
2013-06-17 03:13:43 PM  

theknuckler_33: said Students for Life president Kristan Hawkins ... on how to win millennial voters. "Unfortunately we have to, because this is the generation that we've been dealt."

Gotta love young Republicans trying to win over their peers by displaying contempt for them.


Yup.  She (or he? I guess?) can fark right the hell off.  Ain't nothing wrong w/ me and 70% of my generation, thank you very much!
 
2013-06-17 03:15:20 PM  

WizardofToast: If I were clever enough, I could joke about abuse of welfare. But most people that try to just put it on minorities and dip into racist waters


That is another problem with conservative humor.  The Democrats are surprisingly talented at playing the victim card and deliberately ruining a joke.  Anything you say is misconstrued as either offensive to minorities, women, or non-christian religions.  Maybe the Republicans need to come up with a better long term plan that starts by making people less susceptible to the white guilt complex somehow.  The "help help we're being oppressed" thing is at least partially trying to do that, but not a particularly good job.
 
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