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(Salon)   Republicans develop plan to appeal to millenials: make gay marriage and abortion funny   (salon.com) divider line 326
    More: Amusing, social conservatism, youth vote, abortions  
•       •       •

4984 clicks; posted to Politics » on 17 Jun 2013 at 2:20 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



326 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-06-17 02:26:10 PM  
So a slut, a homo and a illegal walk into the Planned Parenthood

/Just don't get it this had them rolling in the isles at CPAC
//
 
2013-06-17 02:27:29 PM  

RodneyToady: "How do you make abortion funny?"

Clown abortions?


Clowns are never funny.  Clowns are terrifying.

/midget abortions, on the other hand....
 
2013-06-17 02:27:44 PM  
3.bp.blogspot.com

How do you get an abortion pregnant? You fark it.
 
2013-06-17 02:28:27 PM  

sweetmelissa31: Sgt Otter: There is a whole series of these.

[blog.beliefnet.com image 342x463]

This Mom was apparently getting around.

In other news, there is a comic strip less funny than Mallard Filmore.


sweetmelissa31: Sgt Otter: There is a whole series of these.

[blog.beliefnet.com image 342x463]

This Mom was apparently getting around.

In other news, there is a comic strip less funny than Mallard Filmore.



Have you never read hope and change comics?
Here's today's strip.

img844.imageshack.us
 
2013-06-17 02:28:41 PM  

bujin: /midget abortions, on the other hand....


Actually, neither are those, because a lot of little people end up having to get abortions to save the mom's life.
 
2013-06-17 02:29:30 PM  

what_now: "A Baby's Womb". This is what  the right wing thinks of women.


i.imgur.com

THAT DIDN'T STOP ME FROM PILLAGING YOUR MOM'S WETLAND !!!!!! HAR-OL
 
2013-06-17 02:29:31 PM  

sweetmelissa31: Sgt Otter: There is a whole series of these.



This Mom was apparently getting around.

In other news, there is a comic strip less funny than Mallard Filmore.


This fetus comic has yet to give Jews big crooked noses and call Jon Stewart a child molester.
 
2013-06-17 02:29:31 PM  

Sgt Otter: There is a whole series of these.


i668.photobucket.com
 
2013-06-17 02:29:54 PM  

sweetmelissa31: Sgt Otter: There is a whole series of these.

[blog.beliefnet.com image 342x463]

This Mom was apparently getting around.

In other news, there is a comic strip less funny than Mallard Filmore.


2.bp.blogspot.com

This is too much Poe's Law.
 
2013-06-17 02:30:11 PM  

sweetmelissa31: Sgt Otter: There is a whole series of these.

[blog.beliefnet.com image 342x463]

This Mom was apparently getting around.

In other news, there is a comic strip less funny than Mallard Filmore.


media.tumblr.com
 
2013-06-17 02:31:03 PM  

nmrsnr: Dead baby joke thread?

/what's the difference between an abortion and sand?


I guess it has to be me.

Why?
 
2013-06-17 02:31:06 PM  

what_now: The named the black fetus Elwood. Holy shiat.


He's a Blues musician.  They're all black, right?
 
2013-06-17 02:31:38 PM  

Lunchlady: nmrsnr: Dead baby joke thread?

/what's the difference between an abortion and sand?

I guess it has to be me.

Why?


Errrr. What?
 
2013-06-17 02:31:50 PM  
Liberty University senior class president Chelsea Patterson offered that "a lot of my peers see the GOP as kind of old school," suggesting the party needed some rebranding and a better strategy of connecting with popular culture.

Repackage the same old policy positions? Hey, nobody's suggested that before. Maybe it'll work!

Hawkins said it was because the party was too moderate. "We keep nominating moderates and saying we need a big tent, but we keep losing."

Yes! The GOP needs to go even further right! It's the only way!

No one suggested changing any positions, only finding better packaging for the ones they already have. "I do not believe we should sacrifice our values to win elections," Koroson said.

Repackage the same old policy positions? Hey, nobody's suggested that before. Maybe it'll work!

--

These are the young, visionary, forward thinkers of the social conservative movement. Presumably. Nary a new idea among them.
 
2013-06-17 02:31:53 PM  

Raharu: Have you never read hope and change comics?
Here's today's strip.


I don't get it. Is the joke supposed to be that she wants more children and Barack is infertile? Or that Barack is not the father of his own children? Or what? Or that she's secretly gay and hates penises but loves kids? Seriously--what is the joke supposed to be?
 
2013-06-17 02:33:18 PM  
Travis Korson, the grass-roots director of the Virginia chapter, suggested framing marriage as an economic issue. "Gay marriage undermines that basic family unit," he said, and that, in turn, hurts the economy.

It doesn't matter how good your logic might be if no one believes your horseshiat premise.
 
2013-06-17 02:33:33 PM  

sweetmelissa31: In other news, there is a comic strip less funny than Mallard Filmore.


www.mindhuestudio.com
 
2013-06-17 02:33:51 PM  
"How do you make abortion funny?"

I do hope they run with this one.

Sgt Otter:

[www.ncregister.com image 342x468]

There is a whole series of these.


It's pretty impressive how they manage to completely remove the woman from the comic.
 
2013-06-17 02:34:09 PM  
Whats 12 inches long and will make a woman cry all night?
 
2013-06-17 02:34:29 PM  

Somacandra: I don't get it. Is the joke supposed to be that she wants more children and Barack is infertile? Or that Barack is not the father of his own children? Or what? Or that she's secretly gay and hates penises but loves kids? Seriously--what is the joke supposed to be?


ionenewsone.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-06-17 02:35:35 PM  
Yeah! Then we'll get the youth pastor to wear jeans and put product in his hair and learn three chords on the guitar! It's a f*cking lock!

Guys, this is just the time in western society when we swing the needle back towards Secular Humanism for awhile. Sit it out for a generation or two. I PROMISE you that when the inevitable ennui settles in, somebody will look you up in the phone book and you can get dialed back in for a little while.
 
2013-06-17 02:36:01 PM  

Somacandra: Raharu: Have you never read hope and change comics?
Here's today's strip.

I don't get it. Is the joke supposed to be that she wants more children and Barack is infertile? Or that Barack is not the father of his own children? Or what? Or that she's secretly gay and hates penises but loves kids? Seriously--what is the joke supposed to be?



Check the comments, the writer says he may have been Bi enough to get the job done.
 
2013-06-17 02:36:04 PM  

Aarontology: Because if there's one thing young folks respond to, it's "jokes" by religious groups trying to be hip and relevant.


They need to talk to this guy:

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-06-17 02:36:08 PM  

sweetmelissa31: In other news, there is a comic strip less funny than Mallard Filmore.


Yeah, "Umbert" is pretty shiatty as cartoons go. Even his name sucks. It's (probably) a ripoff of "Dilbert," because "-berts" are funny. Why the "Um-" prefix though? It rhymes with "Un-" as in "unborn." Kinda. I guess.

/Dilbert's dog was originally going to be named "Dildog," but the publishing syndicate nixed that idea. True story.
 
2013-06-17 02:36:13 PM  
Hey, do any of you farkers posting Umbert the Unborn have the expressed written permission of Gary Cangemi?
 
2013-06-17 02:37:07 PM  

ALL GIRLS AGREE TO PULL PANTIES DOWN: Sgt Otter: God Is My Co-Pirate: This is going to be "Poochie says abortions are hilarious to the max, dude!" isn't it?

[www.ncregister.com image 342x468]

There is a whole series of these.

[prolifescranton.org image 734x554]

Worst.  Pride Float.  Ever.

ih0.redbubble.net
 
2013-06-17 02:37:22 PM  

Fark It: No one suggested changing any positions, only finding better packaging for the ones they already have. "I do not believe we should sacrifice our values to win elections," Koroson said.

The Democrats do, that's why they're winning.  It also helps to be right when it comes to social issues....


It's refreshing to see that the GOP didn't learn anything from the last election.
 
2013-06-17 02:37:37 PM  

Dear GOP:

DOOOOOOOOOOOO IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTT.



/It will shame your families if you don't!
//Do it, do it, do it...
 
2013-06-17 02:37:39 PM  
Dear rightwing,

Get back to me when you develop the ability to be funny about anything.
 
2013-06-17 02:38:02 PM  

Somacandra: Raharu: Have you never read hope and change comics?
Here's today's strip.

I don't get it. Is the joke supposed to be that she wants more children and Barack is infertile? Or that Barack is not the father of his own children? Or what? Or that she's secretly gay and hates penises but loves kids? Seriously--what is the joke supposed to be?



Derp forgot the link.

http://hopenchangecartoons.blogspot.com/2013/06/home-cooking.html
 
2013-06-17 02:38:28 PM  

Target Builder: "How do you make abortion funny?"

I do hope they run with this one.

Sgt Otter:

[www.ncregister.com image 342x468]

There is a whole series of these.

It's pretty impressive how they manage to completely remove the woman from the comic.


A lot of abortion cartoons depict the mother as either satanically evil, absolutely silent while other characters speak for her, or forced to abort by evil strawmen. It's terrible.
 
2013-06-17 02:38:29 PM  

vernonFL: Whats 12 inches long and will make a woman cry all night?


It can be anything, as long as you hit her hard enough with it.
 
2013-06-17 02:38:43 PM  

Lunchlady: Lunchlady: nmrsnr: Dead baby joke thread?

/what's the difference between an abortion and sand?

I guess it has to be me.

Why?

Errrr. What?


I'm guessing it's something about getting stuff in or out of your vagina.
 
2013-06-17 02:39:00 PM  
This is going to backfire horribly. When you start out only two steps from a rape joke, it's not going to take you long to just stumble there. Especially these guys.
 
2013-06-17 02:39:21 PM  

Target Builder: It's pretty impressive how they manage to completely remove the woman from the comic.


3.bp.blogspot.com

Not if the unborn child is female.
 
2013-06-17 02:39:25 PM  

Somacandra: Seriously--what is the joke supposed to be?


Right wing humor is clearly too sophisticated for you.

Seriously though, there's a reason why 99% of comedians are left-wingers. Comedy requires subtlety, which requires a viewpoint capable of distinguishing shades of gray. If you see everything in absolutist terms you cannot write a joke.
 
2013-06-17 02:39:30 PM  
At best, Republicans are funny unintentionally, and usually that involves us laughing AT them. Their deliberate attempts at humor are about as funny as a pancreatic cancer diagnosis. I look forward to their attempts at courting my vote. How sweet the desperation is.
 
2013-06-17 02:39:42 PM  

Aarontology: You know who has extremely low abortion rates?


Countries where abortion is legal?

(Oh wait, I'm sorry. Not supposed to bring facts into this.)
 
2013-06-17 02:40:47 PM  
Oh goody.  Humor? This means some GOP apparatchik is ordering his secretary to dust off her Rolodex and call the comedic geniuses who created the 1/2 Hour News Hour.

That was some top talent, dude.

www.mediabistro.com

Top. Men.
 
2013-06-17 02:41:37 PM  
No one suggested changing any positions, only finding better packaging for the ones they already have. "I do not believe we should sacrifice our values to win elections," Koroson said.

Because leaving a flaming bag of shiat on my front porch is soooo much more appreciated when you use paper instead of plastic.
 
2013-06-17 02:41:46 PM  

FloydA: You're forgetting that they're going to be using Republican humor.

"A woman goes into Planned Parenthood. So I made a billboard of the little slut's address and telephone number, and then shot her doctor."


That's really good.
 
2013-06-17 02:41:56 PM  
Who the fark is writing these jokes? Hodor?
 
2013-06-17 02:42:02 PM  

Cantankerous Gnome: Hey, do any of you farkers posting Umbert the Unborn have the expressed written permission of Gary Cangemi?


Fair use includes cultural commentary, analysis and education. Plus you can never reach Cary. He's always got his head stuck up some preggo chick's coont for research.
 
2013-06-17 02:42:09 PM  

Cantankerous Gnome: Hey, do any of you farkers posting Umbert the Unborn have the expressed written permission of Gary Cangemi?


Considering nobody's posting these to make a profit, and a lot of people are being exposed to his work for the first time, I'm thinking it's going to get him more attention and increase his viewer base.  That said, he's free to request a takedown, to which I'm sure the Farkers-That-Be will approve.
 
2013-06-17 02:43:50 PM  

what_now: Who the fark is writing these jokes? Hodor?


At least Hodor has comedic timing.
 
2013-06-17 02:44:30 PM  

Somacandra: Raharu: Have you never read hope and change comics?
Here's today's strip.

I don't get it. Is the joke supposed to be that she wants more children and Barack is infertile? Or that Barack is not the father of his own children? Or what? Or that she's secretly gay and hates penises but loves kids? Seriously--what is the joke supposed to be?


I believe the author is trying to challenge the stereotype of black males as having large penii by implying that Michelle would have preferred to continue having sexual relations with her turkey baster instead of it dumping her when she got pregnant.
 
2013-06-17 02:45:34 PM  

sweetmelissa31: Knock knock
Who's there?
Minority
Minority who?
Minority who wants an abortion
At least you're not gay


Hey, maybe she wants an abortion so she could leave her boyfriend for her lesbian lover.
 
2013-06-17 02:46:10 PM  

Cantankerous Gnome: Hey, do any of you farkers posting Umbert the Unborn have the expressed written permission of Gary Cangemi?


THE Gary Cangemi?
 
2013-06-17 02:46:22 PM  

Somacandra: Fair use includes cultural commentary, analysis and education. Plus you can never reach Cary. He's always got his head stuck up some preggo chick's coont for research.


to be fair, i doubt this would actually fall within the proper ambit of fair use, but i promise to try to rally the Fark Lawyers Brigade to help out if you get sued* - not because of this guy's politics, but because he is possibly the least funny man in history.

/* not an offer of representation in any way shape or form.  Void in Canada.
 
2013-06-17 02:46:51 PM  

Fuggin Bizzy: Liberty University senior class president Chelsea Patterson offered that "a lot of my peers see the GOP as kind of old school," suggesting the party needed some rebranding and a better strategy of connecting with popular culture.

Repackage the same old policy positions? Hey, nobody's suggested that before. Maybe it'll work!

Hawkins said it was because the party was too moderate. "We keep nominating moderates and saying we need a big tent, but we keep losing."

Yes! The GOP needs to go even further right! It's the only way!

No one suggested changing any positions, only finding better packaging for the ones they already have. "I do not believe we should sacrifice our values to win elections," Koroson said.

Repackage the same old policy positions? Hey, nobody's suggested that before. Maybe it'll work!

--

These are the young, visionary, forward thinkers of the social conservative movement. Presumably. Nary a new idea among them.


It might be because they still let an old book written by a tribe of sheep farkers dictate their life. And then there's that whole bible thing.
 
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