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(Salon)   Republicans develop plan to appeal to millenials: make gay marriage and abortion funny   (salon.com ) divider line
    More: Amusing, social conservatism, youth vote, abortions  
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4990 clicks; posted to Politics » on 17 Jun 2013 at 2:20 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



324 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-06-17 12:28:10 PM  
But they've still not figured out that if you're trying to trick people into voting for you then you've already lost.
 
2013-06-17 12:28:39 PM  
"How do you make abortion funny?"

Clown abortions?
 
2013-06-17 12:32:07 PM  

RodneyToady: "How do you make abortion funny?"

Clown abortions?


Only if it's during the 1st piemester
 
2013-06-17 12:32:13 PM  
Because if there's one thing young folks respond to, it's "jokes" by religious groups trying to be hip and relevant.
 
2013-06-17 12:34:26 PM  
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get an abortion.
 
2013-06-17 12:35:45 PM  
"I do not believe we should sacrifice our values to win elections," Koroson said.

Then you'll sacrifice elections to keep your antiquated values.
 
2013-06-17 12:39:34 PM  
You know who has extremely low abortion rates?

Gay people.
 
2013-06-17 12:39:34 PM  
No one suggested changing any positions, only finding better packaging for the ones they already have. "I do not believe we should sacrifice our values to win elections," Koroson said.

The Democrats do, that's why they're winning.  It also helps to be right when it comes to social issues....
 
jbc [TotalFark]
2013-06-17 12:39:40 PM  

RodneyToady: "How do you make abortion funny?"

Clown abortions?


Two aborted babies walk into a bar. The bartender says "Fetus?" The first baby says "Fetus? Damn near killed us!"
 
2013-06-17 12:41:30 PM  

RodneyToady: "How do you make abortion funny?"


When you find out, tell Adam Sandler & Rob Schneider. Based on their recent movie output, they've been working on this problem for years.
 
2013-06-17 12:44:03 PM  
I always thought there should be an aborted fetus superhero called the Miscarriage of Justice
 
2013-06-17 12:44:24 PM  

serial_crusher: I always thought there should be an aborted fetus superhero called the Miscarriage of Justice


LOL
 
2013-06-17 12:50:50 PM  

scottydoesntknow: Only if it's during the 1st piemester


i.huffpost.com
 
2013-06-17 12:51:15 PM  
"You can engage with sarcasm, it's hard with the abortion issue, but you have to," said Students for Life President Kristan Hawkins

Maybe she can combine it with a rape joke.  The GOP is good at those.
 
2013-06-17 12:52:30 PM  

RodneyToady: Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get an abortion.


Why did the conservative politician cross the road?
Because his dick was stuck in a chicken.
 
2013-06-17 12:53:57 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-06-17 01:07:30 PM  
Travis Korson, the Grassroots Director of the Virginia chapter, suggested framing marriage as an economic issue. "Gay marriage undermines that basic family unit," he said, and that, in turn, hurts the economy.

Yes, because when I'm walking down the street in Portland's gay (well, gay-er) district, past the thriving boutiques, upscale bars, gourmet restaurants, art galleries, renovated condos, and design firms, the streets lined with new BMWs, Mini-Coopers, and Priuses, my first thought is, "man, these gays sure are hurting the economy."
 
2013-06-17 01:14:40 PM  

jbc: RodneyToady: "How do you make abortion funny?"

Clown abortions?

Two aborted babies walk into a bar. The bartender says "Fetus?" The first baby says "Fetus? Damn near killed us!"



You're forgetting that they're going to be using Republican humor.

"A woman goes into Planned Parenthood.  So I made a billboard of the little slut's address and telephone number, and then shot her doctor."
 
2013-06-17 01:15:10 PM  
Q: What's the difference between getting a legal abortion and not getting one?

/A: An ultra-sound wand
 
2013-06-17 01:24:34 PM  
Knock knock
Who's there?
Minority
Minority who?
Minority who wants an abortion
At least you're not gay
 
2013-06-17 01:28:50 PM  
Travis Korson, the Grassroots Director of the Virginia chapter, suggested framing marriage as an economic issue. "Gay marriage undermines that basic family unit," he said, and that, in turn, hurts the economy.

This person doesn't believe this, but thinks you are incredibly stupid.
 
2013-06-17 01:31:53 PM  

Relatively Obscure: Travis Korson, the Grassroots Director of the Virginia chapter, suggested framing marriage as an economic issue. "Gay marriage undermines that basic family unit," he said, and that, in turn, hurts the economy.

This person doesn't believe this, but thinks you are incredibly stupid.


I don't know man, what about all those gays having children they can't afford and going on welfare?
 
2013-06-17 01:33:13 PM  
t2.gstatic.com

that's my bush did it!
 
2013-06-17 01:34:56 PM  

what_now: I don't know man, what about all those gays having children they can't afford and going on welfare?


Someone should tell the gay people that abstinence is a 100% effective form of birth control.

/I really really REALLY wanted to translate that into Caveman in honor of last week
 
2013-06-17 01:41:04 PM  
This is going to be "Poochie says abortions are hilarious to the max, dude!" isn't it?
 
2013-06-17 01:48:29 PM  
Ask Sarah Silverman how abortion jokes tend to go over.
 
2013-06-17 01:54:54 PM  

Nabb1: Ask Sarah Silverman how abortion jokes tend to go over.


To be fair, her normal jokes go the same way.
 
2013-06-17 01:55:42 PM  
Hawkins said it was because the party was too moderate.

llddr.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-06-17 01:58:34 PM  

Nabb1: Ask Sarah Silverman how abortion jokes tend to go over.


They kill in Philadelphia.
 
2013-06-17 01:58:56 PM  

kbronsito: [t2.gstatic.com image 220x124]

that's my bush did it!


That show was another casualty of 9/11.

DAMN YOU BIN LADEN!!!!!
 
2013-06-17 01:59:51 PM  

vernonFL: Hawkins said it was because the party was too moderate.

[llddr.files.wordpress.com image 320x240]


Some of their unintentional humour is really quite funny.
 
2013-06-17 02:01:42 PM  

wxboy: Nabb1: Ask Sarah Silverman how abortion jokes tend to go over.

They kill in Philadelphia.



2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-06-17 02:02:26 PM  

So, the plan for the GOP from the great minds at the "Faith and Freedom Coalition Conference" is...
1) Try and come up with humorously persuasive memes, despite the general deficit of conservative comedians (as opposed to conservatives who are clownish)
2) Try framing gay marriage as economic argument to appeal to those with fiscal conservatism, without worrying about whether the reasoning of the argument makes sense
3) Stop trying to "moderate" on the issues, since when the GOP puts up "moderate" conservatives, they lose.


You guys don't understand. You've already lost. The current generation doesn't care.

a.imageshack.us
carryabigsticker.com


About the only thing doubling down on the Gay Marriage fight at this point seems likely to do is impeach the credibility of the GOP in general, and in particular their stance on abortion -- where there otherwise looks to be almost no generational shift in attitudes.
 
2013-06-17 02:02:44 PM  

God Is My Co-Pirate: This is going to be "Poochie says abortions are hilarious to the max, dude!" isn't it?


www.ncregister.com

There is a whole series of these.
 
2013-06-17 02:03:51 PM  
Yeah, you should make jokes while you're picketing outside a Planned Parenthood; that'll really go over well. That girl will really change her mind when you start telling jokes about something she's spent weeks agonizing over. Then make sure to slut shame her, too.

The best part is that during that whole day, you've probably only yelled at two women who were getting abortions. But women like me love being handed baby booties when I'm going to get a papsmear.
 
2013-06-17 02:07:06 PM  

Sgt Otter: www.ncregister.com

There is a whole series of these.


Goddammit, that is so unfunny I just forgot several funny things I used to know.
 
2013-06-17 02:08:22 PM  

scottydoesntknow: RodneyToady: "How do you make abortion funny?"

Clown abortions?

Only if it's during the 1st piemester


WIN
 
2013-06-17 02:15:38 PM  

CapeFearCadaver: But women like me love being handed baby booties when I'm going to get a papsmear.


You can put them on your toes so you feel more festive in the stirrups.
 
2013-06-17 02:17:19 PM  

Sgt Otter: God Is My Co-Pirate: This is going to be "Poochie says abortions are hilarious to the max, dude!" isn't it?

[www.ncregister.com image 342x468]

There is a whole series of these.


Ok..I don't understand. Is he saying that it was more dangerous to be a fetus before we knew about folic acid and fetal alcohol syndrome?  Or is it..more dangerous now because he has to dodge coathangers? Or..wat?

Also, has he started a little fire inside her uterus? What the fark?
 
2013-06-17 02:17:35 PM  

serial_crusher: I always thought there should be an aborted fetus superhero called the Miscarriage of Justice


i.imgur.com
 
2013-06-17 02:18:58 PM  

Sgt Otter: There is a whole series of these.


blog.beliefnet.com

This Mom was apparently getting around.

In other news, there is a comic strip less funny than Mallard Filmore.
 
2013-06-17 02:19:16 PM  

what_now: CapeFearCadaver: But women like me love being handed baby booties when I'm going to get a papsmear.

You can put them on your toes so you feel more festive in the stirrups.


I know what I'm doing next time! ;)
 
2013-06-17 02:21:12 PM  
The named the black fetus Elwood. Holy shiat.
 
2013-06-17 02:21:42 PM  
Dead baby joke thread?

/what's the difference between an abortion and sand?
 
2013-06-17 02:24:04 PM  
Sorry about that, Millenials or Gen Y or whatever you want to call yourselves.

We thought if us Gen X folks removed ourselves from the bullshiat games of the Boomers and "Greatest Generation", people would realize the idiocy of it all and focus on making the world a better place, but we farked up in that department.  Apathy is sometimes detrimental.

/get off my lawn
//pass the beer and bong
 
2013-06-17 02:24:08 PM  
Conservatives still haven't figured out that they're not really good at the humor business.

/shocking
 
2013-06-17 02:24:18 PM  

Sgt Otter: Travis Korson, the Grassroots Director of the Virginia chapter, suggested framing marriage as an economic issue. "Gay marriage undermines that basic family unit," he said, and that, in turn, hurts the economy.

Yes, because when I'm walking down the street in Portland's gay (well, gay-er) district, past the thriving boutiques, upscale bars, gourmet restaurants, art galleries, renovated condos, and design firms, the streets lined with new BMWs, Mini-Coopers, and Priuses, my first thought is, "man, these gays sure are hurting the economy."


Yeah, that's the first thought I had, too. All of the gay couples I know are destroying the economy with their double-income no-kids spending habits.
 
2013-06-17 02:24:23 PM  

sweetmelissa31: In other news, there is a comic strip less funny than Mallard Filmore.


i.imgur.com

The last time I saw my Mom, she "spit an egg" at me!

So I got up and left the "WOMB!"

LAUGHTER OL
 
2013-06-17 02:25:13 PM  

sweetmelissa31: Sgt Otter: There is a whole series of these.

[blog.beliefnet.com image 342x463]

This Mom was apparently getting around.

In other news, there is a comic strip less funny than Mallard Filmore.


No respect. No respect.

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-06-17 02:25:46 PM  

Somacandra: sweetmelissa31: In other news, there is a comic strip less funny than Mallard Filmore.

[i.imgur.com image 342x477]

The last time I saw my Mom, she "spit an egg" at me!

So I got up and left the "WOMB!"

LAUGHTER OL


"A Baby's Womb".

This is what  the right wing thinks of women.
 
2013-06-17 02:26:10 PM  
So a slut, a homo and a illegal walk into the Planned Parenthood

/Just don't get it this had them rolling in the isles at CPAC
//
 
2013-06-17 02:27:29 PM  

RodneyToady: "How do you make abortion funny?"

Clown abortions?


Clowns are never funny.  Clowns are terrifying.

/midget abortions, on the other hand....
 
2013-06-17 02:27:44 PM  
3.bp.blogspot.com

How do you get an abortion pregnant? You fark it.
 
2013-06-17 02:28:27 PM  

sweetmelissa31: Sgt Otter: There is a whole series of these.

[blog.beliefnet.com image 342x463]

This Mom was apparently getting around.

In other news, there is a comic strip less funny than Mallard Filmore.


sweetmelissa31: Sgt Otter: There is a whole series of these.

[blog.beliefnet.com image 342x463]

This Mom was apparently getting around.

In other news, there is a comic strip less funny than Mallard Filmore.



Have you never read hope and change comics?
Here's today's strip.

img844.imageshack.us
 
2013-06-17 02:28:41 PM  

bujin: /midget abortions, on the other hand....


Actually, neither are those, because a lot of little people end up having to get abortions to save the mom's life.
 
2013-06-17 02:29:30 PM  

what_now: "A Baby's Womb". This is what  the right wing thinks of women.


i.imgur.com

THAT DIDN'T STOP ME FROM PILLAGING YOUR MOM'S WETLAND !!!!!! HAR-OL
 
2013-06-17 02:29:31 PM  

sweetmelissa31: Sgt Otter: There is a whole series of these.

This Mom was apparently getting around.

In other news, there is a comic strip less funny than Mallard Filmore.


This fetus comic has yet to give Jews big crooked noses and call Jon Stewart a child molester.
 
2013-06-17 02:29:31 PM  

Sgt Otter: There is a whole series of these.


i668.photobucket.com
 
2013-06-17 02:29:54 PM  

sweetmelissa31: Sgt Otter: There is a whole series of these.

[blog.beliefnet.com image 342x463]

This Mom was apparently getting around.

In other news, there is a comic strip less funny than Mallard Filmore.


2.bp.blogspot.com

This is too much Poe's Law.
 
2013-06-17 02:30:11 PM  

sweetmelissa31: Sgt Otter: There is a whole series of these.

[blog.beliefnet.com image 342x463]

This Mom was apparently getting around.

In other news, there is a comic strip less funny than Mallard Filmore.


media.tumblr.com
 
2013-06-17 02:31:03 PM  

nmrsnr: Dead baby joke thread?

/what's the difference between an abortion and sand?


I guess it has to be me.

Why?
 
2013-06-17 02:31:06 PM  

what_now: The named the black fetus Elwood. Holy shiat.


He's a Blues musician.  They're all black, right?
 
2013-06-17 02:31:38 PM  

Lunchlady: nmrsnr: Dead baby joke thread?

/what's the difference between an abortion and sand?

I guess it has to be me.

Why?


Errrr. What?
 
2013-06-17 02:31:50 PM  
Liberty University senior class president Chelsea Patterson offered that "a lot of my peers see the GOP as kind of old school," suggesting the party needed some rebranding and a better strategy of connecting with popular culture.

Repackage the same old policy positions? Hey, nobody's suggested that before. Maybe it'll work!

Hawkins said it was because the party was too moderate. "We keep nominating moderates and saying we need a big tent, but we keep losing."

Yes! The GOP needs to go even further right! It's the only way!

No one suggested changing any positions, only finding better packaging for the ones they already have. "I do not believe we should sacrifice our values to win elections," Koroson said.

Repackage the same old policy positions? Hey, nobody's suggested that before. Maybe it'll work!

--

These are the young, visionary, forward thinkers of the social conservative movement. Presumably. Nary a new idea among them.
 
2013-06-17 02:31:53 PM  

Raharu: Have you never read hope and change comics?
Here's today's strip.


I don't get it. Is the joke supposed to be that she wants more children and Barack is infertile? Or that Barack is not the father of his own children? Or what? Or that she's secretly gay and hates penises but loves kids? Seriously--what is the joke supposed to be?
 
2013-06-17 02:33:18 PM  
Travis Korson, the grass-roots director of the Virginia chapter, suggested framing marriage as an economic issue. "Gay marriage undermines that basic family unit," he said, and that, in turn, hurts the economy.

It doesn't matter how good your logic might be if no one believes your horseshiat premise.
 
2013-06-17 02:33:33 PM  

sweetmelissa31: In other news, there is a comic strip less funny than Mallard Filmore.


www.mindhuestudio.com
 
2013-06-17 02:33:51 PM  
"How do you make abortion funny?"

I do hope they run with this one.

Sgt Otter:

[www.ncregister.com image 342x468]

There is a whole series of these.


It's pretty impressive how they manage to completely remove the woman from the comic.
 
2013-06-17 02:34:09 PM  
Whats 12 inches long and will make a woman cry all night?
 
2013-06-17 02:34:29 PM  

Somacandra: I don't get it. Is the joke supposed to be that she wants more children and Barack is infertile? Or that Barack is not the father of his own children? Or what? Or that she's secretly gay and hates penises but loves kids? Seriously--what is the joke supposed to be?


ionenewsone.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-06-17 02:35:35 PM  
Yeah! Then we'll get the youth pastor to wear jeans and put product in his hair and learn three chords on the guitar! It's a f*cking lock!

Guys, this is just the time in western society when we swing the needle back towards Secular Humanism for awhile. Sit it out for a generation or two. I PROMISE you that when the inevitable ennui settles in, somebody will look you up in the phone book and you can get dialed back in for a little while.
 
2013-06-17 02:36:01 PM  

Somacandra: Raharu: Have you never read hope and change comics?
Here's today's strip.

I don't get it. Is the joke supposed to be that she wants more children and Barack is infertile? Or that Barack is not the father of his own children? Or what? Or that she's secretly gay and hates penises but loves kids? Seriously--what is the joke supposed to be?



Check the comments, the writer says he may have been Bi enough to get the job done.
 
2013-06-17 02:36:04 PM  

Aarontology: Because if there's one thing young folks respond to, it's "jokes" by religious groups trying to be hip and relevant.


They need to talk to this guy:

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-06-17 02:36:08 PM  

sweetmelissa31: In other news, there is a comic strip less funny than Mallard Filmore.


Yeah, "Umbert" is pretty shiatty as cartoons go. Even his name sucks. It's (probably) a ripoff of "Dilbert," because "-berts" are funny. Why the "Um-" prefix though? It rhymes with "Un-" as in "unborn." Kinda. I guess.

/Dilbert's dog was originally going to be named "Dildog," but the publishing syndicate nixed that idea. True story.
 
2013-06-17 02:36:13 PM  
Hey, do any of you farkers posting Umbert the Unborn have the expressed written permission of Gary Cangemi?
 
2013-06-17 02:37:07 PM  

ALL GIRLS AGREE TO PULL PANTIES DOWN: Sgt Otter: God Is My Co-Pirate: This is going to be "Poochie says abortions are hilarious to the max, dude!" isn't it?

[www.ncregister.com image 342x468]

There is a whole series of these.

[prolifescranton.org image 734x554]

Worst.  Pride Float.  Ever.

ih0.redbubble.net
 
2013-06-17 02:37:22 PM  

Fark It: No one suggested changing any positions, only finding better packaging for the ones they already have. "I do not believe we should sacrifice our values to win elections," Koroson said.

The Democrats do, that's why they're winning.  It also helps to be right when it comes to social issues....


It's refreshing to see that the GOP didn't learn anything from the last election.
 
2013-06-17 02:37:37 PM  

Dear GOP:

DOOOOOOOOOOOO IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTT.




/It will shame your families if you don't!
//Do it, do it, do it...
 
2013-06-17 02:37:39 PM  
Dear rightwing,

Get back to me when you develop the ability to be funny about anything.
 
2013-06-17 02:38:02 PM  

Somacandra: Raharu: Have you never read hope and change comics?
Here's today's strip.

I don't get it. Is the joke supposed to be that she wants more children and Barack is infertile? Or that Barack is not the father of his own children? Or what? Or that she's secretly gay and hates penises but loves kids? Seriously--what is the joke supposed to be?



Derp forgot the link.

http://hopenchangecartoons.blogspot.com/2013/06/home-cooking.html
 
2013-06-17 02:38:28 PM  

Target Builder: "How do you make abortion funny?"

I do hope they run with this one.

Sgt Otter:

[www.ncregister.com image 342x468]

There is a whole series of these.

It's pretty impressive how they manage to completely remove the woman from the comic.


A lot of abortion cartoons depict the mother as either satanically evil, absolutely silent while other characters speak for her, or forced to abort by evil strawmen. It's terrible.
 
2013-06-17 02:38:29 PM  

vernonFL: Whats 12 inches long and will make a woman cry all night?


It can be anything, as long as you hit her hard enough with it.
 
2013-06-17 02:38:43 PM  

Lunchlady: Lunchlady: nmrsnr: Dead baby joke thread?

/what's the difference between an abortion and sand?

I guess it has to be me.

Why?

Errrr. What?


I'm guessing it's something about getting stuff in or out of your vagina.
 
2013-06-17 02:39:00 PM  
This is going to backfire horribly. When you start out only two steps from a rape joke, it's not going to take you long to just stumble there. Especially these guys.
 
2013-06-17 02:39:21 PM  

Target Builder: It's pretty impressive how they manage to completely remove the woman from the comic.


3.bp.blogspot.com

Not if the unborn child is female.
 
2013-06-17 02:39:25 PM  

Somacandra: Seriously--what is the joke supposed to be?


Right wing humor is clearly too sophisticated for you.

Seriously though, there's a reason why 99% of comedians are left-wingers. Comedy requires subtlety, which requires a viewpoint capable of distinguishing shades of gray. If you see everything in absolutist terms you cannot write a joke.
 
2013-06-17 02:39:30 PM  
At best, Republicans are funny unintentionally, and usually that involves us laughing AT them. Their deliberate attempts at humor are about as funny as a pancreatic cancer diagnosis. I look forward to their attempts at courting my vote. How sweet the desperation is.
 
2013-06-17 02:39:42 PM  

Aarontology: You know who has extremely low abortion rates?


Countries where abortion is legal?

(Oh wait, I'm sorry. Not supposed to bring facts into this.)
 
2013-06-17 02:40:47 PM  
Oh goody.  Humor? This means some GOP apparatchik is ordering his secretary to dust off her Rolodex and call the comedic geniuses who created the 1/2 Hour News Hour.

That was some top talent, dude.

www.mediabistro.com

Top. Men.
 
2013-06-17 02:41:37 PM  
No one suggested changing any positions, only finding better packaging for the ones they already have. "I do not believe we should sacrifice our values to win elections," Koroson said.

Because leaving a flaming bag of shiat on my front porch is soooo much more appreciated when you use paper instead of plastic.
 
2013-06-17 02:41:46 PM  

FloydA: You're forgetting that they're going to be using Republican humor.

"A woman goes into Planned Parenthood. So I made a billboard of the little slut's address and telephone number, and then shot her doctor."


That's really good.
 
2013-06-17 02:41:56 PM  
Who the fark is writing these jokes? Hodor?
 
2013-06-17 02:42:02 PM  

Cantankerous Gnome: Hey, do any of you farkers posting Umbert the Unborn have the expressed written permission of Gary Cangemi?


Fair use includes cultural commentary, analysis and education. Plus you can never reach Cary. He's always got his head stuck up some preggo chick's coont for research.
 
2013-06-17 02:42:09 PM  

Cantankerous Gnome: Hey, do any of you farkers posting Umbert the Unborn have the expressed written permission of Gary Cangemi?


Considering nobody's posting these to make a profit, and a lot of people are being exposed to his work for the first time, I'm thinking it's going to get him more attention and increase his viewer base.  That said, he's free to request a takedown, to which I'm sure the Farkers-That-Be will approve.
 
2013-06-17 02:43:50 PM  

what_now: Who the fark is writing these jokes? Hodor?


At least Hodor has comedic timing.
 
2013-06-17 02:44:30 PM  

Somacandra: Raharu: Have you never read hope and change comics?
Here's today's strip.

I don't get it. Is the joke supposed to be that she wants more children and Barack is infertile? Or that Barack is not the father of his own children? Or what? Or that she's secretly gay and hates penises but loves kids? Seriously--what is the joke supposed to be?


I believe the author is trying to challenge the stereotype of black males as having large penii by implying that Michelle would have preferred to continue having sexual relations with her turkey baster instead of it dumping her when she got pregnant.
 
2013-06-17 02:45:34 PM  

sweetmelissa31: Knock knock
Who's there?
Minority
Minority who?
Minority who wants an abortion
At least you're not gay


Hey, maybe she wants an abortion so she could leave her boyfriend for her lesbian lover.
 
2013-06-17 02:46:10 PM  

Cantankerous Gnome: Hey, do any of you farkers posting Umbert the Unborn have the expressed written permission of Gary Cangemi?


THE Gary Cangemi?
 
2013-06-17 02:46:22 PM  

Somacandra: Fair use includes cultural commentary, analysis and education. Plus you can never reach Cary. He's always got his head stuck up some preggo chick's coont for research.


to be fair, i doubt this would actually fall within the proper ambit of fair use, but i promise to try to rally the Fark Lawyers Brigade to help out if you get sued* - not because of this guy's politics, but because he is possibly the least funny man in history.

/* not an offer of representation in any way shape or form.  Void in Canada.
 
2013-06-17 02:46:51 PM  

Fuggin Bizzy: Liberty University senior class president Chelsea Patterson offered that "a lot of my peers see the GOP as kind of old school," suggesting the party needed some rebranding and a better strategy of connecting with popular culture.

Repackage the same old policy positions? Hey, nobody's suggested that before. Maybe it'll work!

Hawkins said it was because the party was too moderate. "We keep nominating moderates and saying we need a big tent, but we keep losing."

Yes! The GOP needs to go even further right! It's the only way!

No one suggested changing any positions, only finding better packaging for the ones they already have. "I do not believe we should sacrifice our values to win elections," Koroson said.

Repackage the same old policy positions? Hey, nobody's suggested that before. Maybe it'll work!

--

These are the young, visionary, forward thinkers of the social conservative movement. Presumably. Nary a new idea among them.


It might be because they still let an old book written by a tribe of sheep farkers dictate their life. And then there's that whole bible thing.
 
2013-06-17 02:47:10 PM  

Aarontology: You know who has extremely low abortion rates?

Gay people.


No, Gay doctors are the ones performing the abortions.

encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com
 
2013-06-17 02:48:11 PM  
Jackie Martling Favorite Joke:

A guys says to another guy: "You know, I've banging my wife in the same hole for 15 years.  15 years, the same damn hole, every night."

Other guy: "Have you tried flipping her over?"

1st Guy: "What?  And have all those kids running around?"

Yeah, not the greatest.
 
2013-06-17 02:48:58 PM  

Fuggin Bizzy: sweetmelissa31: In other news, there is a comic strip less funny than Mallard Filmore.

Yeah, "Umbert" is pretty shiatty as cartoons go. Even his name sucks. It's (probably) a ripoff of "Dilbert," because "-berts" are funny. Why the "Um-" prefix though? It rhymes with "Un-" as in "unborn." Kinda. I guess.

/Dilbert's dog was originally going to be named "Dildog," but the publishing syndicate nixed that idea. True story.


Maybe for 'umbilical'? Who knows...
 
2013-06-17 02:49:24 PM  

RodneyToady: "How do you make abortion funny?"

Clown abortions?


Voter to Candidate: Where do you stand on abortions?
Candidate: One foot on the neck and the other on the sternum.
 
2013-06-17 02:50:01 PM  

Cantankerous Gnome: Hey, do any of you farkers posting Umbert the Unborn have the expressed written permission of Gary Cangemi?


What if I have the implied oral permission of Cary Gangemi?
 
2013-06-17 02:50:42 PM  

Lunchlady: Why?


You can't eat sand.

/Sorry, it's the only abortion joke I have.
 
2013-06-17 02:51:19 PM  

AlanSmithee: Maybe for 'umbilical'? Who knows...


or it is a name, a variant of Humbert

See also Umberto Eco (who is excellent, unlike these comics)
 
2013-06-17 02:52:55 PM  
img198.imageshack.us

img844.imageshack.us

img37.imageshack.us

img21.imageshack.us
 
2013-06-17 02:53:11 PM  
A black guy, a jew, and a gay guy walk into a bar. The bartenders says "WTF are you guys doing in here?  We don't serve you."
 
2013-06-17 02:53:14 PM  

ALL GIRLS AGREE TO PULL PANTIES DOWN: Sgt Otter: God Is My Co-Pirate: This is going to be "Poochie says abortions are hilarious to the max, dude!" isn't it?

[www.ncregister.com image 342x468]

There is a whole series of these.

[prolifescranton.org image 734x554]

Worst.  Pride Float.  Ever.



How do you make a fetus float?
 
2013-06-17 02:54:15 PM  
home.comcast.net
/Sorry.
 
2013-06-17 02:54:26 PM  

FloydA: ALL GIRLS AGREE TO PULL PANTIES DOWN: Sgt Otter: God Is My Co-Pirate: This is going to be "Poochie says abortions are hilarious to the max, dude!" isn't it?

[www.ncregister.com image 342x468]

There is a whole series of these.

[prolifescranton.org image 734x554]

Worst.  Pride Float.  Ever.


How do you make a fetus float?


I believe that a minimum of two gallons of root beer and five pints of ice cream are required.
 
2013-06-17 02:54:50 PM  

Somacandra: serial_crusher: I always thought there should be an aborted fetus superhero called the Miscarriage of Justice

[i.imgur.com image 639x425]


Those poor men! Someone should write a book about how to avoid huge ships.
 
2013-06-17 02:55:00 PM  

Somacandra: I don't get it. Is the joke supposed to be that she wants more children and Barack is infertile? Or that Barack is not the father of his own children? Or what? Or that she's secretly gay and hates penises but loves kids? Seriously--what is the joke supposed to be?


Obama is a Democrat, and therefore he's not manly enough to impregnate his wife. Hence, the turkey baster.

/those brain cells are never coming back
 
2013-06-17 02:55:03 PM  

FloydA: ALL GIRLS AGREE TO PULL PANTIES DOWN: Sgt Otter: God Is My Co-Pirate: This is going to be "Poochie says abortions are hilarious to the max, dude!" isn't it?

[www.ncregister.com image 342x468]

There is a whole series of these.

[prolifescranton.org image 734x554]

Worst.  Pride Float.  Ever.


How do you make a fetus float?


Drown the mother in the pool an wait awhile.
 
2013-06-17 02:55:05 PM  

FloydA: How do you make a fetus float?


Inflate it with helium?
 
2013-06-17 02:55:11 PM  

Gunther: Somacandra: Seriously--what is the joke supposed to be?

Right wing humor is clearly too sophisticated for you.

Seriously though, there's a reason why 99% of comedians are left-wingers. Comedy requires subtlety, which requires a viewpoint capable of distinguishing shades of gray. If you see everything in absolutist terms you cannot write a joke.


i think the successful formula for right wing humor is that it has to be slightly offensive.  Take the South Park episode with Christopher Reeve for example.  It would be a stretch to call South Park a right wing show in general--they pretty much make fun of everything--but that particular episode resonates with common right wing views.  The whole thing is about Christopher Reeve killing fetuses for personal gain and becoming a super villain in the process.  The way he snaps the fetuses' necks to suck the stem cells out really drives home the supposed vileness of what he's doing.  That's how political humor should work.  Make people laugh, but also get them thinking.

The big problem with that method though, is that you get fuddy duddies on both sides who get offended by the crudity of the humor and ignore the message that comes with it.  You're right that it's a byproduct of the black-and-white mentality.  You have to either be unfunny or go to ridiculous hyperbole, because you live in a world of extremes.  I don't see that as a flaw of the comedians though, but just the audience being unable to put the offensiveness of a joke aside.
 
2013-06-17 02:56:11 PM  

Raharu: [img198.imageshack.us image 850x409]

[img844.imageshack.us image 800x389]

[img37.imageshack.us image 640x309]

[img21.imageshack.us image 800x390]


I have to admit that the rare abortion one made me chuckle. For about a second.
 
2013-06-17 02:56:33 PM  

Granny_Panties: [3.bp.blogspot.com image 320x246]

How do you get an abortion pregnant? You fark it.


Wasn't he in Guilty Gear?
 
2013-06-17 02:57:12 PM  

Cantankerous Gnome: Hey, do any of you farkers posting Umbert the Unborn have the expressed written permission of Gary Cangemi?


Who gives a shiat?
 
2013-06-17 02:58:59 PM  
Raharu:

[img37.imageshack.us image 640x309]

I laughed at the third one.  It's like a Red Meat strip.
 
2013-06-17 02:59:00 PM  

serial_crusher: The big problem with that method though, is that you get fuddy duddies on both sides who get offended by the crudity of the humor and ignore the message that comes with it. You're right that it's a byproduct of the black-and-white mentality. You have to either be unfunny or go to ridiculous hyperbole, because you live in a world of extremes. I don't see that as a flaw of the comedians though, but just the audience being unable to put the offensiveness of a joke aside.


The audience is fine. Louis CK, for instance, is incredibly popular and his brand of comedy is hardly tame. The problem with South Park is that it just isn't that good.
 
2013-06-17 02:59:08 PM  

Serious Black: Raharu: [img198.imageshack.us image 850x409]

[img844.imageshack.us image 800x389]

[img37.imageshack.us image 640x309]

[img21.imageshack.us image 800x390]

I have to admit that the rare abortion one made me chuckle. For about a second.



Here's the artists Commentary on that particular comic.

 When asked about the nightmarish horrors of Dr. Kermit Gosnell's abortion clinic, the president (who has previously advocated killing infants who are born alive after a failed abortion) said that he couldn't talk about a legal matter which was unresolved but, like Bill Clinton, he believe that abortions should be "safe, legal, and rare."Hope n' Change was baffled by what meaning of "rare" he could be referring to, until Mrs. Jarlsberg explained that the dog-eating Mr. Soetoro was  probably using a culinary term.
 
2013-06-17 02:59:10 PM  
The key to humor is truth. This is why the GOP will never have a sense of humor.
 
2013-06-17 02:59:58 PM  
Anyone else notice that in an article about young republicans describing how they need to use humor and sarcasm to reach out to younger voters there isn't a single example of this humor or sarcasm?

I found myself reading TFA and thinking "such as.....?" and wondering when they were going to get to the actual sarcasm and snark that would make me see the error of my liberal baby-killing pot-smoking gay-sex-tolerating lifestyle.
 
2013-06-17 03:00:34 PM  

Voiceofreason01: But they've still not figured out that if you're trying to trick people into voting for you then you've already lost.


Done in one.
 
2013-06-17 03:02:03 PM  

Raharu: Serious Black: Raharu: [img198.imageshack.us image 850x409]

[img844.imageshack.us image 800x389]

[img37.imageshack.us image 640x309]

[img21.imageshack.us image 800x390]

I have to admit that the rare abortion one made me chuckle. For about a second.


Here's the artists Commentary on that particular comic.

 When asked about the nightmarish horrors of Dr. Kermit Gosnell's abortion clinic, the president (who has previously advocated killing infants who are born alive after a failed abortion) said that he couldn't talk about a legal matter which was unresolved but, like Bill Clinton, he believe that abortions should be "safe, legal, and rare."Hope n' Change was baffled by what meaning of "rare" he could be referring to, until Mrs. Jarlsberg explained that the dog-eating Mr. Soetoro was  probably using a culinary term.


I love that the only comic you posted I laughed at was the one where the guy's wife came up with the punchline.
 
2013-06-17 03:02:43 PM  
What these idiots do not realize, is that unless you keep up on current events closely, every day, you will not get the jokes on The Daily Show or the Colbert Report.

Dumbass teabaggers think liberals get their news from those shows, when it is exactly the opposite.
 
2013-06-17 03:03:02 PM  
What's the difference between an embryonic fetus and a fully-grown baby?

Nothing.
 
2013-06-17 03:03:03 PM  

Biological Ali: serial_crusher: The big problem with that method though, is that you get fuddy duddies on both sides who get offended by the crudity of the humor and ignore the message that comes with it. You're right that it's a byproduct of the black-and-white mentality. You have to either be unfunny or go to ridiculous hyperbole, because you live in a world of extremes. I don't see that as a flaw of the comedians though, but just the audience being unable to put the offensiveness of a joke aside.

The audience is fine. Louis CK, for instance, is incredibly popular and his brand of comedy is hardly tame. The problem with South Park is that it just isn't that good.


Well, that too.  Plenty of standup comedians cross that line and do it well (not Bob Saget though.  His entire standup routine is that he's Danny Tanner saying the F word).  But when we get examples of "right wing humor" in these threads, we get that goofy fetus cartoon that's trying really hard to be family friendly while still making a point.  Nobody does a good job of that.
 
2013-06-17 03:04:30 PM  

mpirooz: The key to humor is truth. This is why the GOP will never have a sense of humor.


You could probably come up with good jokes on GOP talking points, but more than likely it would be used as a soapbox or a more than aggressive rant somewhere. If I were clever enough, I could joke about abuse of welfare. But most people that try to just put it on minorities and dip into racist waters. It then comes out as horribly unfunny. This doesn't help that welfare has culturally been labeled as a 'minorities' thing.
 
2013-06-17 03:05:17 PM  

nmrsnr: Dead baby joke thread?

/what's the difference between an abortion and sand?



No right winger has ever secretly got the sand out of her vagina.
 
2013-06-17 03:05:23 PM  

Biological Ali: . The problem with South Park is that it just isn't that good.


And yet it is probably the closest thing you can find to quality right-wing humor. Despite not really being THAT funny or THAT right wing.

I don't know, I guess it's possible that I as a left-winger just don't appreciate right-wing humor. Perhaps "Umbert the Unborn" is the new Calvin and Hobbes.
 
2013-06-17 03:05:28 PM  

Serious Black: Raharu: Serious Black: Raharu: [img198.imageshack.us image 850x409]

[img844.imageshack.us image 800x389]

[img37.imageshack.us image 640x309]

[img21.imageshack.us image 800x390]

I have to admit that the rare abortion one made me chuckle. For about a second.


Here's the artists Commentary on that particular comic.

 When asked about the nightmarish horrors of Dr. Kermit Gosnell's abortion clinic, the president (who has previously advocated killing infants who are born alive after a failed abortion) said that he couldn't talk about a legal matter which was unresolved but, like Bill Clinton, he believe that abortions should be "safe, legal, and rare."Hope n' Change was baffled by what meaning of "rare" he could be referring to, until Mrs. Jarlsberg explained that the dog-eating Mr. Soetoro was  probably using a culinary term.

I love that the only comic you posted I laughed at was the one where the guy's wife came up with the punchline.


And then he proceeded to kill it by explaining it.
 
2013-06-17 03:06:08 PM  

Raharu: Here's the artists Commentary on that particular comic.

When asked about the nightmarish horrors of Dr. Kermit Gosnell's abortion clinic, the president (who has previously advocated killing infants who are born alive after a failed abortion) said that he couldn't talk about a legal matter which was unresolved but, like Bill Clinton, he believe that abortions should be "safe, legal, and rare."Hope n' Change was baffled by what meaning of "rare" he could be referring to, until Mrs. Jarlsberg explained that the dog-eating Mr. Soetoro was probably using a culinary term.


see, now that's a good bit funnier than the comic itself.  While most of them are mediocre, I have hope that that comic will one day change into something great.
 
2013-06-17 03:06:20 PM  

WizardofToast: You could probably come up with good jokes on GOP talking points, but more than likely it would be used as a soapbox or a more than aggressive rant somewhere. If I were clever enough, I could joke about abuse of welfare. But most people that try to just put it on minorities and dip into racist waters. It then comes out as horribly unfunny. This doesn't help that welfare has culturally been labeled as a 'minorities' thing.


Jokes about abuses of welfare are usually based on fundamental misunderstandings of who benefits the most from welfare.
 
2013-06-17 03:06:45 PM  
said Students for Life president Kristan Hawkins ... on how to win millennial voters. "Unfortunately we have to, because this is the generation that we've been dealt."

Gotta love young Republicans trying to win over their peers by displaying contempt for them.
 
2013-06-17 03:06:54 PM  

Cantankerous Gnome: Hey, do any of you farkers posting Umbert the Unborn have the expressed written permission of Gary Cangemi?


You'd best check with whoever is hosting the images.  Get right on that.
 
2013-06-17 03:07:04 PM  

Cantankerous Gnome: Hey, do any of you farkers posting Umbert the Unborn have the expressed written permission of Gary Cangemi?


Well, I have yet to see anybody claim it was their work instead of his. Nobody is using those works in an attempt to profit from them.
And considering that apparently at least a couple Farkers that have not been their before visited that site and increased the hit count (and probably add revenue), I doubt that Gary is going to be terribly upset.
 
2013-06-17 03:07:19 PM  
Q: How many homo-gays does it take to get an abortion?

A: None butsecks is teh gross!
 
2013-06-17 03:07:47 PM  

Raharu: the president (who has previously advocated killing infants who are born alive after a failed abortion)


WTF am I reading?
 
2013-06-17 03:10:26 PM  
Rubes
 
Bf+
2013-06-17 03:10:30 PM  

mpirooz: The key to humor is truth. This is why the GOP will never have a sense of humor.


Even a blind squirrel finds a nut once in a while:
www.chevychase.com
 
2013-06-17 03:10:55 PM  

Raharu: Mrs. Jarlsberg explained that the dog-eating Mr. Soetoro was probably using a culinary term.


10 bucks says she used that exact phrasing
 
2013-06-17 03:11:05 PM  
Travis Korson, the grass-roots director of the Virginia chapter, suggested framing marriage as an economic issue. "Gay marriage undermines that basic family unit," he said, and that, in turn, hurts the economy.

That's a metric ton of fail right there.
 
2013-06-17 03:11:54 PM  
Here, GOP, Jeffrey Rowland can help.

overcompensating.com
 
2013-06-17 03:12:05 PM  

what_now: Somacandra: sweetmelissa31: In other news, there is a comic strip less funny than Mallard Filmore.

[i.imgur.com image 342x477]

The last time I saw my Mom, she "spit an egg" at me!

So I got up and left the "WOMB!"

LAUGHTER OL

"A Baby's Womb".

This is what  the right wing thinks of women.


They also really hate scientists

On the old website that had a whole cast of characters that included a frozen embryo named "Fredo" who "ponders an uncertain future, questions the boundaries of modern science, and dreams of hot chocolate and the warmth of a mother's womb"

They also had mad Doctor Dubious and his "henchperson," Dwight [who] concoct their own brand of modern science unfettered by ethical issues.

And 2B and Not 2B, two unborn alien babies from Panet Paranoid where natural parenting is banned in favor of cloning, giving Umbert a first-hand look at what Earth science has planned for OUR future.
 
2013-06-17 03:13:19 PM  

serial_crusher: Raharu: Here's the artists Commentary on that particular comic.

When asked about the nightmarish horrors of Dr. Kermit Gosnell's abortion clinic, the president (who has previously advocated killing infants who are born alive after a failed abortion) said that he couldn't talk about a legal matter which was unresolved but, like Bill Clinton, he believe that abortions should be "safe, legal, and rare."Hope n' Change was baffled by what meaning of "rare" he could be referring to, until Mrs. Jarlsberg explained that the dog-eating Mr. Soetoro was probably using a culinary term.

see, now that's a good bit funnier than the comic itself.  While most of them are mediocre, I have hope that that comic will one day change into something great.




Yes because the man who made this will surely one day be counted amongst the comedy greats!

img27.imageshack.us
 
2013-06-17 03:13:43 PM  

theknuckler_33: said Students for Life president Kristan Hawkins ... on how to win millennial voters. "Unfortunately we have to, because this is the generation that we've been dealt."

Gotta love young Republicans trying to win over their peers by displaying contempt for them.


Yup.  She (or he? I guess?) can fark right the hell off.  Ain't nothing wrong w/ me and 70% of my generation, thank you very much!
 
2013-06-17 03:15:20 PM  

WizardofToast: If I were clever enough, I could joke about abuse of welfare. But most people that try to just put it on minorities and dip into racist waters


That is another problem with conservative humor.  The Democrats are surprisingly talented at playing the victim card and deliberately ruining a joke.  Anything you say is misconstrued as either offensive to minorities, women, or non-christian religions.  Maybe the Republicans need to come up with a better long term plan that starts by making people less susceptible to the white guilt complex somehow.  The "help help we're being oppressed" thing is at least partially trying to do that, but not a particularly good job.
 
2013-06-17 03:15:26 PM  

Raharu: serial_crusher: Raharu: Here's the artists Commentary on that particular comic.

When asked about the nightmarish horrors of Dr. Kermit Gosnell's abortion clinic, the president (who has previously advocated killing infants who are born alive after a failed abortion) said that he couldn't talk about a legal matter which was unresolved but, like Bill Clinton, he believe that abortions should be "safe, legal, and rare."Hope n' Change was baffled by what meaning of "rare" he could be referring to, until Mrs. Jarlsberg explained that the dog-eating Mr. Soetoro was probably using a culinary term.

see, now that's a good bit funnier than the comic itself.  While most of them are mediocre, I have hope that that comic will one day change into something great.

Yes because the man who made this will surely one day be counted amongst the comedy greats!

[img27.imageshack.us image 573x781]


ohyou.jpg
 
2013-06-17 03:16:05 PM  
What's the difference between the GOP religious right and the Taliban?
 
2013-06-17 03:16:11 PM  

Raharu: serial_crusher: Raharu: Here's the artists Commentary on that particular comic.

When asked about the nightmarish horrors of Dr. Kermit Gosnell's abortion clinic, the president (who has previously advocated killing infants who are born alive after a failed abortion) said that he couldn't talk about a legal matter which was unresolved but, like Bill Clinton, he believe that abortions should be "safe, legal, and rare."Hope n' Change was baffled by what meaning of "rare" he could be referring to, until Mrs. Jarlsberg explained that the dog-eating Mr. Soetoro was probably using a culinary term.

see, now that's a good bit funnier than the comic itself.  While most of them are mediocre, I have hope that that comic will one day change into something great.

Yes because the man who made this will surely one day be counted amongst the comedy greats!

[img27.imageshack.us image 573x781]


I think he should enlist his wife to write his comics. She at least seems to get some of the magic of homonyms.
 
2013-06-17 03:16:35 PM  

what_now: CapeFearCadaver: But women like me love being handed baby booties when I'm going to get a papsmear.

You can put them on your toes so you feel more festive in the stirrups.


*snort*
 
2013-06-17 03:17:26 PM  

OdradekRex: What's the difference between the GOP religious right and the Taliban?


Jesus vs. Mo? [Round 1: FIGHT!]
 
2013-06-17 03:17:48 PM  

OdradekRex: What's the difference between the GOP religious right and the Taliban?


The Taliban wears beards and the GOP marries them.
 
2013-06-17 03:18:02 PM  
test.axisofweevil.com
 
2013-06-17 03:18:48 PM  

Serious Black: Raharu: serial_crusher: Raharu: Here's the artists Commentary on that particular comic.

When asked about the nightmarish horrors of Dr. Kermit Gosnell's abortion clinic, the president (who has previously advocated killing infants who are born alive after a failed abortion) said that he couldn't talk about a legal matter which was unresolved but, like Bill Clinton, he believe that abortions should be "safe, legal, and rare."Hope n' Change was baffled by what meaning of "rare" he could be referring to, until Mrs. Jarlsberg explained that the dog-eating Mr. Soetoro was probably using a culinary term.

see, now that's a good bit funnier than the comic itself.  While most of them are mediocre, I have hope that that comic will one day change into something great.

Yes because the man who made this will surely one day be counted amongst the comedy greats!

[img27.imageshack.us image 573x781]

I think he should enlist his wife to write his comics. She at least seems to get some of the magic of homonyms.


As State Senator Obama once voted against an anti-abortion law to prevent partial birth abortion.  There was already a law against partial birth abortion to the new Bill was unnecessarily.  Also, the Bill proposed new language with repercussions against abortions in general.
 
2013-06-17 03:19:43 PM  
The whole concept is farked up. The party is faced with two options: reform the party to reflect the will of the people. Or attempt to alter the electorate to conform to the will of the party.

One of these choices is wrong.
 
2013-06-17 03:19:51 PM  

Raharu: serial_crusher: Raharu: Here's the artists Commentary on that particular comic.

When asked about the nightmarish horrors of Dr. Kermit Gosnell's abortion clinic, the president (who has previously advocated killing infants who are born alive after a failed abortion) said that he couldn't talk about a legal matter which was unresolved but, like Bill Clinton, he believe that abortions should be "safe, legal, and rare."Hope n' Change was baffled by what meaning of "rare" he could be referring to, until Mrs. Jarlsberg explained that the dog-eating Mr. Soetoro was probably using a culinary term.

see, now that's a good bit funnier than the comic itself.  While most of them are mediocre, I have hope that that comic will one day change into something great.

Yes because the man who made this will surely one day be counted amongst the comedy greats!


Security is now bad! Teh gays! The blacks! A thing that Bush did that only counts now! WOMEN! Another thing that happened under Bush that only counts now!

One thing I notice about crappy Republican humor is that when they go for Obama, they target something that they had no concern for when Bush did it. Especially people that had been doing their comedy while the Bush administration was ongoing and said zilch about it.
 
2013-06-17 03:20:43 PM  
img211.imageshack.us


Here's the Commentary for that comic:

Today is the observance of Yom Hashoah, the remembrance of the Holocaust. And first and foremost, Hope n' Change offers sincere apologies to those rightfully offended by today's entirely tasteless cartoon. Unless they're Obama supporters, in which case you can go straight to hell because we really do believe the First Family is this despicable.

This is the president who is allowing Iran to obtain nuclear weapons with which to wipe Israel off the map (after which, we suppose, we'll have to refer to Holocaust I and Holocaust II). And this is the woman who could think of nothing about our country which made her proud like, oh, winning World War II and saving as many people as possible from the death camps.

In fact, according to the president, an uncle on his mother's side helped liberate Auschwitz. Or at least, that was his story until it was pointed out that Auschwitz was liberated by forces of the Soviet Union, after which the president changed his story to say that maybe he was thinking of Buchenwald or something, because pretty much all death camps look alike.

The purpose of Yom Hashoah is to remember the Holocaust so that nothing like it can ever happen again. So is it wildly inappropriate for Hope n' Change to attack Barack Obama on this sad and solemn day? We don't think so.

Not as long as he continues to strengthen his own hold on power by pushing hate, fear, and enmity among different groups. Not as long as this administration increases surveillance (and therefore coercive pressure) on "suspected terrorists" like conservatives, veterans, and Christians. Not as long as this president defends the taking of millions of innocent lives via abortion - including"postnatal termination" which amounts to beheading a newborn child (and thanks to Obamacare, your "medical technician" will shout "Allahu Akbar!" at no extra charge). Not as long as this president seeks to use executive orders to take away our Constitutionally-protected guns, while stockpiling astronomical amounts of arms, ammunition, and military equipment to be deployed domestically on unnamed enemies of the regime.

Today, we must all remember the horrors of the Holocaust. And remember not only that it can happen again, but inevitably will happen again if our eyes remain closed and our voices silent.
 
2013-06-17 03:21:15 PM  
What? Make abortion funny? What the hell are they gonna do?  Make big rubber aborted fetus puppets and do a routine with them or something?
 
2013-06-17 03:23:05 PM  
We can all laugh now, but I give us about two election cycles before these people start shooting.
 
2013-06-17 03:23:09 PM  
George Carlin knew how to make abortion funny, but I don't think this is what the Republicans had in mind:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AvF1Q3UidWM
 
2013-06-17 03:23:35 PM  

Lunchlady: nmrsnr: Dead baby joke thread?

/what's the difference between an abortion and sand?

I guess it has to be me.

Why?


Nothing. Republicans can't get either one out of their vaginas.
 
2013-06-17 03:23:45 PM  

Raharu: [img211.imageshack.us image 800x392]


Here's the Commentary for that comic:


The commentary is hilarious, though completely inadvertently. I imagine a large puddle of drool collecting on his desk as he typed this.
 
2013-06-17 03:23:55 PM  

Raharu: Unless they're Obama supporters, in which case you can go straight to hell because we really do believe the First Family is this despicable.


The first FAMILY? You think the kids and the dogs are despicable?
 
2013-06-17 03:24:52 PM  

Biological Ali: sweetmelissa31: Sgt Otter: There is a whole series of these.

[blog.beliefnet.com image 342x463]

This Mom was apparently getting around.

In other news, there is a comic strip less funny than Mallard Filmore.

[media.tumblr.com image 500x281]


"Family Circus" now looks like the epitome of quality high comedy.

*headdesk*
 
2013-06-17 03:24:56 PM  

Bill_Wick's_Friend: Anyone else notice that in an article about young republicans describing how they need to use humor and sarcasm to reach out to younger voters there isn't a single example of this humor or sarcasm?

I found myself reading TFA and thinking "such as.....?" and wondering when they were going to get to the actual sarcasm and snark that would make me see the error of my liberal baby-killing pot-smoking gay-sex-tolerating lifestyle.


Same here, was waiting for some good humor. Then realized the whole article was good humor.
 
2013-06-17 03:26:39 PM  
Had to wait over 40 posts just to get to the first dead baby joke setup?
 
2013-06-17 03:26:45 PM  

Raharu: Today, we must all remember the horrors of the Holocaust. And remember not only that it can happen again, but inevitably will happen again if our eyes remain closed and our voices silent.


you may want to silence the voices in your head at least.
 
2013-06-17 03:26:49 PM  

xanadian: What? Make abortion funny? What the hell are they gonna do?  Make big rubber aborted fetus puppets and do a routine with them or something?


img.gawkerassets.com
 
2013-06-17 03:27:12 PM  
"Dilation?  More like die-lation, AMIRITE?"
 
2013-06-17 03:27:44 PM  

what_now: Raharu: Unless they're Obama supporters, in which case you can go straight to hell because we really do believe the First Family is this despicable.

The first FAMILY? You think the kids and the dogs are despicable?


I can't find it right now, but I seem to remember reading an article where Republicans who were shown a photo of Bo thought he was adorable until they were told he was the Obama family's dog.
 
2013-06-17 03:28:02 PM  

theorellior: Aarontology: Because if there's one thing young folks respond to, it's "jokes" by religious groups trying to be hip and relevant.

They need to talk to this guy:

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 500x398]


I loved that thread so much
 
2013-06-17 03:28:43 PM  

what_now: Raharu: Unless they're Obama supporters, in which case you can go straight to hell because we really do believe the First Family is this despicable.

The first FAMILY? You think the kids and the dogs are despicable?


Yes, yes they do:

http://www.mediaite.com/online/conservative-blog-commenters-target-m al ia-obama-with-racial-slurs/
 
2013-06-17 03:28:44 PM  

what_now: Raharu: Unless they're Obama supporters, in which case you can go straight to hell because we really do believe the First Family is this despicable.

The first FAMILY? You think the kids and the dogs are despicable?




Yes, even the dogs.

img850.imageshack.us
 
2013-06-17 03:29:14 PM  
So two abortions walk into a gay bar...
 
2013-06-17 03:30:11 PM  

serial_crusher: I always thought there should be an aborted fetus superhero called the Miscarriage of Justice


*snerk*
 
2013-06-17 03:31:21 PM  

WI241TH: [i.imgur.com image 400x500]


I so should not have laughed at that.


But I did.  I very much did.
 
2013-06-17 03:33:22 PM  
It's like this shiat is so unfunny it circled around and is funny for a different reason.

I think it's called the Tim and Eric effect. Or it would, but it's somehow funny.
 
2013-06-17 03:33:42 PM  
I always liked this conservative humor:

www.morethings.com

But they were happy to make fun of themselves.
 
2013-06-17 03:36:41 PM  

Gunther: Biological Ali: . The problem with South Park is that it just isn't that good.

And yet it is probably the closest thing you can find to quality right-wing humor. Despite not really being THAT funny or THAT right wing.

I don't know, I guess it's possible that I as a left-winger just don't appreciate right-wing humor. Perhaps "Umbert the Unborn" is the new Calvin and Hobbes.


I wouldn't even necessarily term South Park to be right-wing humour - it's more like adolescent boy humour (though granted, there is some similarity and overlap, especially in terms of things like subtlety and cleverness).
 
2013-06-17 03:37:44 PM  
Is this an argument for opening our borders?

1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-06-17 03:38:07 PM  
Hawkins said it was because the party was too moderate. "We keep nominating moderates and saying we need a big tent, but we keep losing."

Yeah, that's why you keep losing dudes.  It's because your candidates are "too moderate."  Here's the thing, no one outside of your closed social group thought Romney was a moderate.
 
2013-06-17 03:38:37 PM  

sweetmelissa31: Is this an argument for opening our borders?

[1.bp.blogspot.com image 342x477]


That argument is so retarded I want to argue for the ethics of aborting it.
 
2013-06-17 03:40:23 PM  

Raharu: Yes, even the dogs.

img850.imageshack.us


I don't know what's worse; that someone made that, or that someone made it, looked at it, and still decided to post that on the internet.  Not only is it not funny, the quality of the artwork is just horrible.
 
2013-06-17 03:40:36 PM  

sweetmelissa31: Is this an argument for opening our borders?

[1.bp.blogspot.com image 342x477]


These people are a dangerous combination of evil and stupid.
 
2013-06-17 03:43:36 PM  

Satanic_Hamster: Raharu: Yes, even the dogs.

img850.imageshack.us

I don't know what's worse; that someone made that, or that someone made it, looked at it, and still decided to post that on the internet.  Not only is it not funny, the quality of the artwork is just horrible.


There is this godawful cartoonist I shoved out of my mind. He drew in black and white and everyone looked like they were farking melting. The only character to not look like that, ironically, was the guy from Indiana Jones who got his face melted during the opening of the Ark (which was used for some stupid political joke).
 
2013-06-17 03:44:39 PM  

Satanic_Hamster: Raharu: Yes, even the dogs.

img850.imageshack.us

I don't know what's worse; that someone made that, or that someone made it, looked at it, and still decided to post that on the internet.  Not only is it not funny, the quality of the artwork is just horrible.



It's a actually improved, you should see some of his older works.

img849.imageshack.us

Here's the commentary:
Yes, everyone is getting "wee-wee'ed up" with planning for Barack Hussein Obama's second inauguration next week, and every detail is getting keen attention - unlike any policy decisions which happened during the president's first term.

As one of the festive highlights, the most racist and race-baiting president of modern times will take the oath of office with his hand placed on the Bible of Republican and civil rights icon Martin Luther King Jr who, if alive today, would surely raise his face to the heavens and say, "why the hell does the president have a predator drone circling me?"

Because Obama repudiates the legacy of Dr. King with every action he takes, and wants a colorblind society about as much as he wants to pay for his own vacations.

Which perhaps explains why the ceremony in which Barry uses King's Bible will be a complete charade: because his actual swearing in will take place 24 hours earlier in a private ceremony using a Bible from Michelle's family which is probably not a Koran.

But instead of going back to work on Monday, all sworn in and promising to defend the Constitution, Barry wants the pomp and circumstance of a huge and expensive public spectacle which has no legal validity whatsoever.

One in which he can trade on the legacy of Dr. King (despite having a cabinet which is stunningly lacking in diversity) and hobnob with people of all races, creeds, and colors...as long as they're exceedingly famous and stinking rich ("special VIP access" rewards are granted to individuals and evil corporations based on the size of their bribes, er, contributions beginning at $10,000 and costing as much as $1 million for complete access to the president's balls. Which we presume are Inaugural Balls, but you never know.)

Ambassador Chris Stevens is not expected to attend.
 
2013-06-17 03:45:21 PM  

Bloody William: sweetmelissa31: Is this an argument for opening our borders?

[1.bp.blogspot.com image 342x477]

That argument is so retarded I want to argue for the ethics of aborting it.


So...  Wait, feel this argument out:
If we imported the entire country of Mexico, which is around 112 million people, our economy would automatically expand by at least 40 percent, right.
 
2013-06-17 03:46:33 PM  
Raharu: ...(and thanks to Obamacare, your "medical technician" will shout "Allahu Akbar!" at no extra charge).

What in the wide world of fark is this shiat?
 
2013-06-17 03:46:49 PM  

WizardofToast: Satanic_Hamster: Raharu: Yes, even the dogs.

img850.imageshack.us

I don't know what's worse; that someone made that, or that someone made it, looked at it, and still decided to post that on the internet.  Not only is it not funny, the quality of the artwork is just horrible.

There is this godawful cartoonist I shoved out of my mind. He drew in black and white and everyone looked like they were farking melting. The only character to not look like that, ironically, was the guy from Indiana Jones who got his face melted during the opening of the Ark (which was used for some stupid political joke).




img838.imageshack.us
 
2013-06-17 03:47:59 PM  

sweetmelissa31: Is this an argument for opening our borders?

[1.bp.blogspot.com image 342x477]


I was looking for a relevant Spider-Man comic pic to explain how stupid this is, but I had trouble so I'll post this instead:

25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-06-17 03:48:07 PM  

Soup4Bonnie: Raharu: ...(and thanks to Obamacare, your "medical technician" will shout "Allahu Akbar!" at no extra charge).

What in the wide world of fark is this shiat?


It's called racism. Really obvious racism at that.
 
2013-06-17 03:49:45 PM  

Raharu: Satanic_Hamster: Raharu: Yes, even the dogs.

img850.imageshack.us

I don't know what's worse; that someone made that, or that someone made it, looked at it, and still decided to post that on the internet.  Not only is it not funny, the quality of the artwork is just horrible.


It's a actually improved, you should see some of his older works.

[img849.imageshack.us image 640x309]

Here's the commentary:
[some derp]


Is that guy actually farking retarded?  Does he have adequate adult supervision when he uses the internet?
 
2013-06-17 03:50:11 PM  
theorellior:

[ionenewsone.files.wordpress.com image 425x255]

Took TWO people to come up with this genius ObamaNation comic.
 
2013-06-17 03:51:40 PM  

HotWingConspiracy: We can all laugh now, but I give us about two election cycles before these people start shooting.


I will enjoy watching them be shot and burned. A Waco a week for a couple months would put these retards where they belong.
 
2013-06-17 03:52:12 PM  

Raharu: One in which he can trade on the legacy of Dr. King (despite having a cabinet which is stunningly lacking in diversity) and hobnob with people of all races, creeds, and colors...as long as they're exceedingly famous and stinking rich ("special VIP access" rewards are granted to individuals and evil corporations based on the size of their bribes, er, contributions beginning at $10,000 and costing as much as $1 million for complete access to the president's balls. Which we presume are Inaugural Balls, but you never know.)


Dave-Barry-like typing detected.

// seriously, that's probably the funniest joke he's ever made
// and even Barry sees it as an obvious, throwaway joke
 
2013-06-17 03:52:49 PM  

Raharu: Satanic_Hamster: Raharu: Yes, even the dogs.

img850.imageshack.us

I don't know what's worse; that someone made that, or that someone made it, looked at it, and still decided to post that on the internet.  Not only is it not funny, the quality of the artwork is just horrible.


It's a actually improved, you should see some of his older works.

[img849.imageshack.us image 640x309]

Here's the commentary:
Yes, everyone is getting "wee-wee'ed up" with planning for Barack Hussein Obama's second inauguration next week, and every detail is getting keen attention - unlike any policy decisions which happened during the president's first term.

As one of the festive highlights, the most racist and race-baiting president of modern times will take the oath of office with his hand placed on the Bible of Republican and civil rights icon Martin Luther King Jr who, if alive today, would surely raise his face to the heavens and say, "why the hell does the president have a predator drone circling me?"

Because Obama repudiates the legacy of Dr. King with every action he takes, and wants a colorblind society about as much as he wants to pay for his own vacations.

Which perhaps explains why the ceremony in which Barry uses King's Bible will be a complete charade: because his actual swearing in will take place 24 hours earlier in a private ceremony using a Bible from Michelle's family which is probably not a Koran.

But instead of going back to work on Monday, all sworn in and promising to defend the Constitution, Barry wants the pomp and circumstance of a huge and expensive public spectacle which has no legal validity whatsoever.

One in which he can trade on the legacy of Dr. King (despite having a cabinet which is stunningly lacking in diversity) and hobnob with people of all races, creeds, and colors...as long as they're exceedingly famous and stinking rich ("special VIP access" rewards are granted to individuals and evil corporations based on the size of their bribes, er, contr ...


The only remotely funny strip you've posted from that Hope n Change guy is STILL the one where the wife came up with the punchline. And my finding that strip funny is purely because I love wordplay.
 
2013-06-17 03:53:51 PM  

Satanic_Hamster: Raharu: Yes, even the dogs.

img850.imageshack.us

I don't know what's worse; that someone made that, or that someone made it, looked at it, and still decided to post that on the internet.  Not only is it not funny, the quality of the artwork is just horrible.


www.captainscomments.com

"Sheesh, at most 300,000 Iraqi civilians died.  BFD.  Also, ass."
 
2013-06-17 03:53:56 PM  

Raharu: [img198.imageshack.us image 850x409]

[img844.imageshack.us image 800x389]

[img37.imageshack.us image 640x309]

[img21.imageshack.us image 800x390]


Am I a terrible person for laughing at the third one a little?
 
2013-06-17 03:55:01 PM  

theorellior: Aarontology: Because if there's one thing young folks respond to, it's "jokes" by religious groups trying to be hip and relevant.

They need to talk to this guy:

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 500x398]


Doesn't matter how old that is or how many times I see it, that NEVER fails to make me smile.
 
2013-06-17 03:55:49 PM  

Sgt Otter: [www.captainscomments.com image 575x200]

"Sheesh, at most 300,000 Iraqi civilians died.  BFD.  Also, ass."


I sure hope that slut isn't demanding that I pay for her damn birth control.  Look at her, whoring around in stupid political cartoons like a whore.
 
2013-06-17 03:56:43 PM  

Super Chronic: Raharu: [img198.imageshack.us image 850x409]

[img844.imageshack.us image 800x389]

[img37.imageshack.us image 640x309]

[img21.imageshack.us image 800x390]

Am I a terrible person for laughing at the third one a little?


If you are, then I'm joining you on the flight to Hell.
 
2013-06-17 03:58:47 PM  

Raharu: As one of the festive highlights, the most racist and race-baiting president of modern times will take the oath of office with his hand placed on the Bible of Republican and civil rights icon Martin Luther King Jr who, if alive today, would surely raise his face to the heavens and say, "why the hell does the president have a predator drone circling me?"


Actually, I'm pretty sure he'd say, "LET ME OUT OF THIS COFFIN!"
 
2013-06-17 03:59:23 PM  

Raharu: what_now: Raharu: Unless they're Obama supporters, in which case you can go straight to hell because we really do believe the First Family is this despicable.

The first FAMILY? You think the kids and the dogs are despicable?

Yes, even the dogs.

[img850.imageshack.us image 640x327]


Now THAT is FUNNY.
 
2013-06-17 04:00:29 PM  
img708.imageshack.us

Michelle Obama has officially unveiled the 2012 Christmas decorations at the Whitehouse, including 54 different designer-decorated trees and a 300-pound gingerbread replica of the Whitehouse to commemorate this year's holiday theme of "austerity."

No, just kidding! It's the same wretched excess as usual, but the official holiday theme is "Joy To All." They would have included "...And Peace On Earth" in the theme, but didn't want to discourage anyone from celebrating the holidays by firing rockets at Israel.

In the first lady's official comments, she mentions the "many joys of the holiday seasons" and then defines those joys as "giving and service to others," and "sharing our blessings with one another." Which are lovely sentiments when contained in scripture, but are considerably less so when turned into hundreds of pages of new tax codes.

With so many Christmas trees festooning the Whitehouse (every one of which will be abandoned December 17th, when the Obamas leave on their $4 million Hawaiian vacation), we can't help but wonder if there's one in the Situation Room...where Barack Obama may have given the order not to send aid to the four Americans murdered by terrorists in Benghazi.

With a stink that bad, you definitely need to add some pine fresh scent to the air.
 
2013-06-17 04:02:19 PM  

Fjornir: The whole concept is farked up. The party is faced with two options: reform the party to reflect the will of the people. Or attempt to alter the electorate to conform to the will of the party.

One of these choices is wrong.


And, if you're a conservative, that would be the first choice. Seriously, listen to Rush Limbaugh or Sean Hannity go on 20 minute rants about how important it is to stick to your principles no matter what the rest of the world is saying. All these people talk about is how to get the rest of the world to see their dingy, inefficient, incandescent light. Oh, and projecting their own tactics onto their opposition, and therefore refusing to ever take what they say at face-value.
 
2013-06-17 04:03:30 PM  

Fido McCokefiend: theorellior:

[ionenewsone.files.wordpress.com image 425x255]

Took TWO people to come up with this genius ObamaNation comic.


I like to think that comic follows the Pacific Rim Operating System, in that attempting to control derp of a certain size and magnitude can kill any one person, so you must bring in a second and even out the load it puts on the brain. 

/All hail the rise of Derpviathan.
 
2013-06-17 04:03:36 PM  

Relatively Obscure: Travis Korson, the Grassroots Director of the Virginia chapter, suggested framing marriage as an economic issue. "Gay marriage undermines that basic family unit," he said, and that, in turn, hurts the economy.

This person doesn't believe this, but thinks you are incredibly stupid.


You know, if you squint, that might be considered conservative humor...

"We need to ban gay marriage!"

"...why?"

"Because it destroys families!"

"So?"

"Families are the cornerstone of civilization!"

"Yeah, but lots of things destroy families."

"Without solid families, children suffer!"

"...suffering children never bugged us before..."

"There's a remote possibility that it'll slow economic growth!"

"BAN GAY MARRIAGE!!!"

/ Or did you mean "intentionally funny?"
 
2013-06-17 04:04:12 PM  

Somacandra: Target Builder: It's pretty impressive how they manage to completely remove the woman from the comic.

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 342x477]

Not if the unborn child is female.


Wait... I read that to the tune of one of "Father and Son".  I'm sure I'm mistaken, but that would have been hilariously ironic to me at least.
 
2013-06-17 04:05:46 PM  
The trouble with conservative humor is that their idea of "political correctness" has expanded to included pretty much any basic social protocol.

There's a self-satisfied assumption that as long as SOMEBODY is pissed off at the end, that proves that what you said or did was both funny and brave.
 
2013-06-17 04:06:16 PM  

Target Builder: It's pretty impressive how they manage to completely remove the woman from the comic


"Pregnancy is all about ME!"

/ See, conservative humor works.
 
2013-06-17 04:09:10 PM  

Raharu: [img211.imageshack.us image 800x392]


Here's the Commentary for that comic:

Today is the observance of Yom Hashoah, the remembrance of the Holocaust. And first and foremost, Hope n' Change offers sincere apologies to those rightfully offended by today's entirely tasteless cartoon. Unless they're Obama supporters, in which case you can go straight to hell because we really do believe the First Family is this despicable.

This is the president who is allowing Iran to obtain nuclear weapons with which to wipe Israel off the map (after which, we suppose, we'll have to refer to Holocaust I and Holocaust II). And this is the woman who could think of nothing about our country which made her proud like, oh, winning World War II and saving as many people as possible from the death camps.

In fact, according to the president, an uncle on his mother's side helped liberate Auschwitz. Or at least, that was his story until it was pointed out that Auschwitz was liberated by forces of the Soviet Union, after which the president changed his story to say that maybe he was thinking of Buchenwald or something, because pretty much all death camps look alike.

The purpose of Yom Hashoah is to remember the Holocaust so that nothing like it can ever happen again. So is it wildly inappropriate for Hope n' Change to attack Barack Obama on this sad and solemn day? We don't think so.

Not as long as he continues to strengthen his own hold on power by pushing hate, fear, and enmity among different groups. Not as long as this administration increases surveillance (and therefore coercive pressure) on "suspected terrorists" like conservatives, veterans, and Christians. Not as long as this president defends the taking of millions of innocent lives via abortion - including"postnatal termination" which amounts to beheading a newborn child (and thanks to Obamacare, your "medical technician" will shout "Allahu Akbar!" at no extra charge). Not as long as this president seeks to use executive orders to ...


I don't usually say this about the loonies, but this guy may be legitimately mentally ill. This is why we need better public support for mental illness research and treatment. It's not fair that this man should have to live with his misplaced apoplexy and impotent paranoia. Let's get him help.
 
2013-06-17 04:10:03 PM  

RodneyToady: Why did the Mexican chicken cross the road border?
To get an abortion.


FTFY

/It's a joke.
 
2013-06-17 04:10:51 PM  
Maybe they could show George W. Bush looking behind chairs and under sofa cushions for Iraqi WMDs a wire clothes hanger to give Jenna a back alley clear the brush, as it were.
 
2013-06-17 04:12:33 PM  

xanadian: What? Make abortion funny? What the hell are they gonna do?  Make big rubber aborted fetus puppets and do a routine with them or something?


That abortion doctor? He's just in it for the jokes.

/He just took tips, but if you rub it, it's little head waggles back and to the left. Back and to the left.
//Try the veal. It's like a baby cow, but not a cow fetus. Cause a baby cow could barely feed us! Thank you, g'nite.
 
2013-06-17 04:13:07 PM  

GreatGlavinsGhost: RodneyToady: Why did the Mexican chicken cross the road border?
To get an abortion.

FTFY

/It's a joke.


I guess that should have beengay chicken, not Mexican.

/It's a ruined joke.
 
2013-06-17 04:13:41 PM  
The GOP and the Gay Marriage issue:

www.donquijote.cc
 
2013-06-17 04:15:00 PM  

Sgt Otter: God Is My Co-Pirate: This is going to be "Poochie says abortions are hilarious to the max, dude!" isn't it?

[www.ncregister.com image 342x468]

There is a whole series of these.


wow. those are terrible.
 
2013-06-17 04:15:04 PM  
img11.imageshack.us
 
2013-06-17 04:16:33 PM  
All these cartoons are from the Onion, right?
 
2013-06-17 04:17:29 PM  
Raharu:

Is this dude even trying to conceal his racism? It's sticking out like a Klan hood right here. And all for a "Stevens died LOL BLACKS" message.
 
2013-06-17 04:18:08 PM  

Raharu: [img11.imageshack.us image 400x269]


There's an earlier version of that cartoon on his hard drive somewhere that says "Every n*gg*h know Obamaphone..."

That's not a "people that don't like Obama are racist thing", that's a "I speak English well enough to recognize a barely concealed grammatical pattern" thing.
 
2013-06-17 04:19:24 PM  

Raharu: In the first lady's official comments, she mentions the "many joys of the holiday seasons" and then defines those joys as "giving and service to others," and "sharing our blessings with one another." Which are lovely sentiments when contained in scripture, but are considerably less so when turned into hundreds of pages of new tax codes.


Michelle Obama:  Author of Tax Codes
 
2013-06-17 04:23:02 PM  

Soup4Bonnie: Raharu: In the first lady's official comments, she mentions the "many joys of the holiday seasons" and then defines those joys as "giving and service to others," and "sharing our blessings with one another." Which are lovely sentiments when contained in scripture, but are considerably less so when turned into hundreds of pages of new tax codes.

Michelle Obama:  Author of Tax Codes


It's important to remember that charity and kindness are fine when outlined in a text you can use to occasionally cow and browbeat people you don't like, as long as that doesn't actually have the force of law. However, when those virtues are actually implemented as social policy, they become oppression. The concept of a Christian Nation only extends to those things which do not personally inconvenience us, and are generally only applicable when used to relegate people we don't like to second-class citizenship.
 
2013-06-17 04:23:32 PM  

Soup4Bonnie: Raharu: In the first lady's official comments, she mentions the "many joys of the holiday seasons" and then defines those joys as "giving and service to others," and "sharing our blessings with one another." Which are lovely sentiments when contained in scripture, but are considerably less so when turned into hundreds of pages of new tax codes.

Michelle Obama:  Author of Tax Codes


To be fair, this comes from somebody that probably finds Michelle to be morbidly obese. Still one of the most confusing jokes I've ever seen.

When they aren't making an angry black woman joke out of her, they make jokes out of their distorted fantasies.
 
2013-06-17 04:24:06 PM  

PonceAlyosha: vernonFL: Whats 12 inches long and will make a woman cry all night?

It can be anything, as long as you hit her hard enough with it.


LAFFTER OL


/missing meow lately
 
2013-06-17 04:26:30 PM  
That cartoonist is a bitter racist. I actually feel bad for him.
 
2013-06-17 04:34:04 PM  

sweetmelissa31: In other news, there is a comic strip less funny than Mallard Filmore.


Yes.  It's called Henry, and it farking sucks.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Henry_%28comic_strip%29
 
2013-06-17 04:34:28 PM  

ALL GIRLS AGREE TO PULL PANTIES DOWN: serial_crusher: Gunther: Somacandra: Seriously--what is the joke supposed to be?

Right wing humor is clearly too sophisticated for you.

Seriously though, there's a reason why 99% of comedians are left-wingers. Comedy requires subtlety, which requires a viewpoint capable of distinguishing shades of gray. If you see everything in absolutist terms you cannot write a joke.

i think the successful formula for right wing humor is that it has to be slightly offensive.  Take the South Park episode with Christopher Reeve for example.  It would be a stretch to call South Park a right wing show in general--they pretty much make fun of everything--but that particular episode resonates with common right wing views.  The whole thing is about Christopher Reeve killing fetuses for personal gain and becoming a super villain in the process.  The way he snaps the fetuses' necks to suck the stem cells out really drives home the supposed vileness of what he's doing.  That's how political humor should work.  Make people laugh, but also get them thinking.

The depiction of Christopher Reeve was so over-the-top, I thought it was a parody of conservatives' perception of the stem-cell debate.


It was. He completely missed the point. Apparently, Cartman cloning a Shakey's Pizza with stem cells wasn't a big enough clue that they were making fun of the whole public conception of what stem cells can do.
 
2013-06-17 04:36:34 PM  

xanadian: What? Make abortion funny? What the hell are they gonna do?  Make big rubber aborted fetus puppets and do a routine with them or something?


Stop giving Jeff Dunham new ideas!
 
2013-06-17 04:48:18 PM  

Arkanaut: xanadian: What? Make abortion funny? What the hell are they gonna do?  Make big rubber aborted fetus puppets and do a routine with them or something?

Stop giving Jeff Dunham new ideas!


First time those phrases were found next to each other in a sentence.
 
2013-06-17 04:49:46 PM  

Sgt Otter: God Is My Co-Pirate: This is going to be "Poochie says abortions are hilarious to the max, dude!" isn't it?

[www.ncregister.com image 342x468]

There is a whole series of these.




i301.photobucket.comi301.photobucket.com
i301.photobucket.comi301.photobucket.com

 
2013-06-17 04:51:03 PM  

CapeFearCadaver: Yeah, you should make jokes while you're picketing outside a Planned Parenthood; that'll really go over well. That girl will really change her mind when you start telling jokes about something she's spent weeks agonizing over. Then make sure to slut shame her, too.

The best part is that during that whole day, you've probably only yelled at two women who were getting abortions. But women like me love being handed baby booties when I'm going to get a papsmear.


And don't forget all the wonderful video footage that can be easily created to use against them later on.  Many years back I lived across the street from a clinic that did abortions (probably about 0.1% of the procedures they performed) and saw a few protests.  All day long these people were slut-shaming every woman that walked in or out or the place, holding giant signs with very graphic images of aborted fetuses.  They would get in someone's way and make sure she got a good look at the pic.  All kinds of sickening behavior.  If recording devices had been as commonplace and high quality back then as they are now, that would have produced immense amounts of smear campaign material.  Just disgusting behavior.  Yeah, screaming "whore" and "sinner" at a young woman while she's walking in, almost certainly for some other procedure, is gonna make her see your views as completely reasonable.  And if, by chance, she actually is there for an abortion, I'm sure intentionally inflicting even more emotional distress will make her see things your way.  They even did it to a handful of women that were walking past on the sidewalk, not even going into the clinic.
 
2013-06-17 04:53:20 PM  
Liberal-leaning humor can be just as bland and awful as the Conservative stuff. I present, "The Brilliant Mind of Edison Lee":

safr.kingfeatures.com

safr.kingfeatures.com

safr.kingfeatures.com
 
2013-06-17 04:56:06 PM  

GreatGlavinsGhost: RodneyToady: Why did the Mexican chicken cross the road border?
To get an abortion.

FTFY

/It's a joke.


i301.photobucket.com
 
2013-06-17 04:56:48 PM  
The answers offered feel a bit like jamming a square peg in a round hole.
NOPE. They are exactly like jamming a square peg into a tiny round hole, without any lube.
Doesnt fit and there is a LOT of screaming for you to stop.

Hawkins said it was because the party was too moderate. "We keep nominating moderates and saying we need a big tent, but we keep losing."

No one suggested changing any positions, only finding better packaging for the ones they already have. "I do not believe we should sacrifice our values to win elections," Koroson said.

 Guess what?!!
You are losing on positions, NOT on messaging.
Do you THINK that the kids dont know your message?
Do you THINK the kids are dumb or uninformed?

FFS, they watch Colbert and Stewart, THEY KNOW WHAT YOUR MESSAGE IS!!!
THEY HATE YOU!

But whatever you do, dont change your values. Certainly not to win an election.
Thank GOD that you wont change. And we wont have to worry a lot about you winning.
LOL
 
2013-06-17 04:57:27 PM  
What did the unaborted fetus say to the aborted fetus?

Look on the bright side, maybe you're a minority, female, or an illegal immigrant or would have grown up to be a gay liberal Muslim.
 
2013-06-17 05:12:55 PM  

Skyrmion: Liberal-leaning humor can be just as bland and awful as the Conservative stuff. I present, "The Brilliant Mind of Edison Lee":


There's one really lazy liberal comic which is just Calvin and Hobbes with all the political messages and none of the humor. While Calvin and Hobbes was about a wacky kid with a wild imagination and a relatable child personality when it came to school, imagination, Saturdays and the occasional tough moment in life, the other comic was about a kid trying to parrot liberal politics while her animal friends either agreed or conservative strawmanned at her.

Liberals and conservatives can be horrible with humor. The conservative side often carries more racist jokes because they have more old people that are unaccepting of social change. But I can garuntee there is some racist liberal humor out there somewhere.
 
2013-06-17 05:18:45 PM  

WizardofToast: Skyrmion: Liberal-leaning humor can be just as bland and awful as the Conservative stuff. I present, "The Brilliant Mind of Edison Lee":

There's one really lazy liberal comic which is just Calvin and Hobbes with all the political messages and none of the humor. While Calvin and Hobbes was about a wacky kid with a wild imagination and a relatable child personality when it came to school, imagination, Saturdays and the occasional tough moment in life, the other comic was about a kid trying to parrot liberal politics while her animal friends either agreed or conservative strawmanned at her.

Liberals and conservatives can be horrible with humor. The conservative side often carries more racist jokes because they have more old people that are unaccepting of social change. But I can garuntee there is some racist liberal humor out there somewhere.


Ted Rall, is a liberal cartoonist who is an absolute asshole.  When he was wasn't mocking Pat Tillman or 9/11 widows, he routinely referred to Colin Powell and Condi Rice as "Bush's House N---gers."
 
2013-06-17 05:20:30 PM  
www.voicescarryblog.com

/late to the party
 
2013-06-17 05:26:38 PM  

Sgt Otter: WizardofToast: Skyrmion: Liberal-leaning humor can be just as bland and awful as the Conservative stuff. I present, "The Brilliant Mind of Edison Lee":

There's one really lazy liberal comic which is just Calvin and Hobbes with all the political messages and none of the humor. While Calvin and Hobbes was about a wacky kid with a wild imagination and a relatable child personality when it came to school, imagination, Saturdays and the occasional tough moment in life, the other comic was about a kid trying to parrot liberal politics while her animal friends either agreed or conservative strawmanned at her.

Liberals and conservatives can be horrible with humor. The conservative side often carries more racist jokes because they have more old people that are unaccepting of social change. But I can garuntee there is some racist liberal humor out there somewhere.

Ted Rall, is a liberal cartoonist who is an absolute asshole.  When he was wasn't mocking Pat Tillman or 9/11 widows, he routinely referred to Colin Powell and Condi Rice as "Bush's House N---gers."


The momet you said Ted Rall, the image of his Pat Tillman comic returned to my brain. Panel by panel. Word by word. I even remember his comment to Condi and Colin.

What a goddamn tool.
 
2013-06-17 05:28:08 PM  

WizardofToast: There's one really lazy liberal comic which is just Calvin and Hobbes with all the political messages and none of the humor.


Prickly City.  Terrible.  Awfully drawn.

But if think it's "liberal" you should read it from the early days (Not that I'd wish that on my worst enemy!)   It's swung all over the place, almost as much as Dixiecrats and Republicans.  I think the cartoonist just wants to be "edgy" and "speak truth to power".

It just comes off as forced and lame.
 
2013-06-17 05:32:24 PM  
Isn't that what they've been doing? I don't think it's working.
 
2013-06-17 05:35:42 PM  

WizardofToast: Liberals and conservatives can be horrible with humor. The conservative side often carries more racist jokes because they have more old people that are unaccepting of social change. But I can garuntee there is some racist liberal humor out there somewhere.


The important thing is that both sides are bad.
 
2013-06-17 05:40:49 PM  
So their plan is to submit homosexual to even  more discrimination and ridicule?

Yeah, that'll work well.
 
2013-06-17 05:41:25 PM  

Arkanaut: xanadian: What? Make abortion funny? What the hell are they gonna do?  Make big rubber aborted fetus puppets and do a routine with them or something?

Stop giving Jeff Dunham new ideas!


Giving?
 
2013-06-17 05:41:36 PM  

Lunchlady: Lunchlady: nmrsnr: Dead baby joke thread?

/what's the difference between an abortion and sand?

I guess it has to be me.

Why?

Errrr. What?


You don't have to take abortions to the playground?
 
2013-06-17 05:42:09 PM  
Clown doctor after jamming an ultrasound probe into his patient's hoohah - "Does this feel funny to you?"
/tip your waitress
 
2013-06-17 05:42:31 PM  
Too late, O Republican Party:

i78.photobucket.com

TEArell: The facts of life... to make a radical alteration in the evolvement of an American political party is fatal. A coding sequence cannot be revised once it's been established.
GOP Batty: Why not?
TEArell: Because by the second mid-term of incubation, any cells that have undergone TEA Party reversion mutation give rise to revertant colonies, like rats leaving a sinking ship; then the ship... sinks.
GOP Batty: What about EMS-3 Moderate recombination?
TEArell: We've already tried it - Huntsman, Collins, Snowe, Brown, Lugar......; it created a virus so lethal the subject was dead before it even left the table.
GOP Batty: Then a RINO repressor protein that would block the operating cells.
TEArell: Wouldn't obstruct replication; but it does give rise to an error in replication, so that the newly formed DNA strand carries with it a TEA Party mutation - and you've got a virus again... but this, all of this is academic. You were made as well as we could make you.
GOP Batty: But not to last.
TEArell: The light that burns twice as bright burns for half as long - and you have burned so very, very brightly, GOP. Look at you: you're the Prodigal Son; you're quite a prize!
GOP Batty: I've done... questionable things.
TEArell: Also extraordinary things; revel in your time.
GOP Batty: Nothing the God of Politics wouldn't let you into heaven for.
 
2013-06-17 05:42:59 PM  
As discussed in my Philosophy class last semester, this whole debate on gay marriage and marriage equality is missing the key underlying point.

This ENTIRE debate is a waste of time. The reason being is that the government should NOT have a say in marriage AT ALL. None. It is an overreaching and unnecessary intrusion. Consider this. Originally, you could only marry people of your own race. Then, they changed it to allow that. Now we're going towards allowing same sex marriage. At this point, there's no reason to not allow multiple wives or husbands, because that would be the next logical step.

Marriage is a contract. Nothing more. Nothing less. In practice you can actually gain all the benefits of marriage through setting up contracts and legal documents. If you wanted to, you can gain all the benefits of marriage, with your friend, by setting up a contract. You can gain all the benefits of marriage with five people if you wanted to, by setting up a contract(shared bank accounts, property, power of attorney etc). The contract is then enforced by the courts. Done.

So what's the point. Get government out of the marriage business other than recognizing and enforcing contracts.
 
2013-06-17 05:43:15 PM  
In other words, win over young voters by continuing to ignore the issues that are actually important to them. But with LOLcats. Great plan, guys.
 
2013-06-17 05:44:37 PM  

Arkanaut: xanadian: What? Make abortion funny? What the hell are they gonna do?  Make big rubber aborted fetus puppets and do a routine with them or something?

Stop giving Jeff Dunham new ideas!


I guess instead of that stupid "Muslim" puppet he uses with "I keel you!" as a catchphrase, he can hold the fetus puppet up and have the audience shout "I KEEL YOU!"...
 
2013-06-17 05:48:08 PM  
img9.imageshack.us

It's official: Mitt Romney crushed Barack Obama in the first debate. Mitt was strong, personable, had complete command of the facts, and radiated leadership. Barry looked stressed, petulant, gave rambling and seemingly meaningless answers, and spent a lot of time making unhappy faces while staring down at his podium (he was clearly afraid to make lasting eye contact with Mitt).

And if you think I'm cheering Mitt's performance just because I allowed myself a sip or two of scotch when it became clear which way the wind was blowing, just check out Chris Matthews' apoplectic meltdown in the minutes immediately following the debate. I guarantee you that he needed to change his adult diapers at the next commercial break.
 
2013-06-17 05:48:16 PM  

AnonAmbientLight: So what's the point. Get government out of the marriage business other than recognizing and enforcing contracts.


A contract cannot bind a non-adhering third party to take or refrain from an act.  Marriage law can and does this regularly.  Don't take a philosophy class to understand law, go to law school and take a class on family law.
 
2013-06-17 05:49:23 PM  
Why not? That tactic worked out great with AIDS, rape, and torture.
 
2013-06-17 05:51:11 PM  

RyogaM: AnonAmbientLight: So what's the point. Get government out of the marriage business other than recognizing and enforcing contracts.

A contract cannot bind a non-adhering third party to take or refrain from an act.  Marriage law can and does this regularly.  Don't take a philosophy class to understand law, go to law school and take a class on family law.


It was a Philosophy of Law class actually. So you're suggesting that i mean to say that you can bind someone that is not willing to be apart of a contract? What kind of contracts are you thinking of?

I guess i should e-mail my professor and tell him Random McFarkGuy says his wrong.
 
2013-06-17 05:55:08 PM  

Sgt Otter: "Sheesh, at most 300,000 Iraqi civilians died. BFD. Also, ass."


Oh, Lordy. That's not a comic, that's hentai for hard-up right-wing bloggers.
 
2013-06-17 05:56:57 PM  

WizardofToast: Sgt Otter: WizardofToast: Skyrmion: Liberal-leaning humor can be just as bland and awful as the Conservative stuff. I present, "The Brilliant Mind of Edison Lee":

There's one really lazy liberal comic which is just Calvin and Hobbes with all the political messages and none of the humor. While Calvin and Hobbes was about a wacky kid with a wild imagination and a relatable child personality when it came to school, imagination, Saturdays and the occasional tough moment in life, the other comic was about a kid trying to parrot liberal politics while her animal friends either agreed or conservative strawmanned at her.

Liberals and conservatives can be horrible with humor. The conservative side often carries more racist jokes because they have more old people that are unaccepting of social change. But I can garuntee there is some racist liberal humor out there somewhere.

Ted Rall, is a liberal cartoonist who is an absolute asshole.  When he was wasn't mocking Pat Tillman or 9/11 widows, he routinely referred to Colin Powell and Condi Rice as "Bush's House N---gers."

The momet you said Ted Rall, the image of his Pat Tillman comic returned to my brain. Panel by panel. Word by word. I even remember his comment to Condi and Colin.

What a goddamn tool.


I'm surprised anyone could READ those strips.  Rall CANNOT DRAW.
 
2013-06-17 06:01:54 PM  
Republicans generally don't get "funny." To them, funny is pointing and laughing at people who aren't like them. Not surprisingly, this generally comes off as mean-spirited and hateful. Millennials don't usually dig that kind of thing.
 
2013-06-17 06:01:56 PM  

AnonAmbientLight: I guess i should e-mail my professor and tell him Random McFarkGuy says his wrong.


I said, you CANNOT bind someone who is not party to the contract.  If  I create a contract which says my friend can be on my insurance plan at the discounted family rate, that contract is unenforceable against the insurance company.  The insurance company is not party to the contract.  It has no power to force the insurance company to do anything.  Marriage has a whole slew of benefits that are conferred by third parties, none of whom would be bound under the scheme proposed by your professor.

It's nice you like your professor, but don't think just because he says something you happen to agree with, and just because you took one class, you suddenly have all the knowledge you need to solve a social issue that's been around for a while.
 
2013-06-17 06:02:36 PM  
Man, I thought some of the online comics I read have bad days... the closest I came to a laugh at any picture posted here was the Spiderman pic. Those comics are farking awful.
 
2013-06-17 06:05:54 PM  

Marshal805: I'm surprised anyone could READ those strips.  Rall CANNOT DRAW.


I'd like to remind the court that this thread includes comics composed entirely of cut-and-pasted press images with photoshop filters on them.
 
2013-06-17 06:11:12 PM  

Marshal805: WizardofToast: Sgt Otter: WizardofToast: Skyrmion: Liberal-leaning humor can be just as bland and awful as the Conservative stuff. I present, "The Brilliant Mind of Edison Lee":

There's one really lazy liberal comic which is just Calvin and Hobbes with all the political messages and none of the humor. While Calvin and Hobbes was about a wacky kid with a wild imagination and a relatable child personality when it came to school, imagination, Saturdays and the occasional tough moment in life, the other comic was about a kid trying to parrot liberal politics while her animal friends either agreed or conservative strawmanned at her.

Liberals and conservatives can be horrible with humor. The conservative side often carries more racist jokes because they have more old people that are unaccepting of social change. But I can garuntee there is some racist liberal humor out there somewhere.

Ted Rall, is a liberal cartoonist who is an absolute asshole.  When he was wasn't mocking Pat Tillman or 9/11 widows, he routinely referred to Colin Powell and Condi Rice as "Bush's House N---gers."

The momet you said Ted Rall, the image of his Pat Tillman comic returned to my brain. Panel by panel. Word by word. I even remember his comment to Condi and Colin.

What a goddamn tool.

I'm surprised anyone could READ those strips.  Rall CANNOT DRAW.


He's not much worse than Matt Groening, who's enjoyed a fair amount of success.  It was the subject matter.

radio.weblogs.com
kevinczap.com
 
2013-06-17 06:18:42 PM  

Sgt Otter: Ted Rall, is a liberal cartoonist who is an absolute asshole. When he was wasn't mocking Pat Tillman or 9/11 widows, he routinely referred to Colin Powell and Condi Rice as "Bush's House N---gers."


Maybe I should be embarrassed to admit it, but I actually bought and read a couple of Rall's books. In one, he discussed a multi-million dollar bank theft plot he was involved in, and only didn't execute because one of his co-conspirators got cold feet. In another, he lays out his case that the US war in Afghanistan was exclusively about a plan to get an oil pipeline built. After the government was replaced and no major efforts were made on the pipeline, he refused to admit any error, and in fact insisted he had somehow been proved right.
 
2013-06-17 06:19:53 PM  
This thread is an abortion of good taste and humor.
 
2013-06-17 06:22:32 PM  
Does anyone have that image from something like Young Conservative Magazine with the "Daily Joke" being a drawing of a graveyard and something about soldiers dying?
 
2013-06-17 06:30:50 PM  

Satanic_Hamster: Hawkins said it was because the party was too moderate. "We keep nominating moderates and saying we need a big tent, but we keep losing."

Yeah, that's why you keep losing dudes.  It's because your candidates are "too moderate."  Here's the thing, no one outside of your closed social group thought Romney was a moderate.


The funny thing is that the closest that Romney got to beating Obama was after the 1st debate when he started to run frantically to the center.

It was only after he started to appease to his base again did the gap grew bigger and bigger.

Same thing happened with McCain, he was running close to Obama for the beginning half of the election cycle but once he decided to appease to his base by picking Palin to run as VP, his polling numbers started to tank.

But as long as the GOP doesn't learn this lesson, the less likely they will win in the future.
 
2013-06-17 06:38:12 PM  
Okay look. These "HopeNChage" cartoons are obviously made by a liberal trying to make conservative cartoonists look bad (or worse, rather). Nobody's this bad by accident - these cartoons were obviously drawn up by someone going out of their way to make them as un-comedic as possible.
 
2013-06-17 06:39:36 PM  
I'm not laughing at the abortion jokes. I guess you can say there's...

*sunglasses*

...womb for improvement
 
2013-06-17 06:40:42 PM  

James F. Campbell: sweetmelissa31: Is this an argument for opening our borders?

[1.bp.blogspot.com image 342x477]

These people are a dangerous combination of evil and stupid.


In all honestly, the "Umbert" comics don't strike me as evil. The logic is terrible and myopic, the jokes aren't actually jokes, and there is a weird tendency to view women as passive incubators... but aside from thatit's pretty tame.

The "HopeNChange" strips, on the other hand, appear to be based entirely on paranoia, spite and bigotry.
 
2013-06-17 06:43:01 PM  
Mrtraveler01: Same thing happened with McCain, he was running close to Obama for the beginning half of the election cycle but once he decided to appease to his base try to pick up disaffected Hillary voters from Hillaryis44  by picking Palin to run as VP, his polling numbers started to tank.
 
2013-06-17 06:46:30 PM  
Conservatives can be funny, just not how or when they want to be funny. Like back in 2005 when Bush was President and rightwingers from 'Protest Warrior' went out to support the conservatives with ironic signs at a pro-war protest in Crawford, Texas. The conservatards there didn't understand irony and so attacked the people from 'Protest Warrior'. That was funny.
 
2013-06-17 06:48:36 PM  

Marcus Aurelius: RodneyToady: Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get an abortion.

Why did the conservative politician cross the road?
Because his dick was stuck in a chicken.


RE: fried chicken recipe

Instructions unclear, dick stuck in chicken
 
2013-06-17 07:03:19 PM  

what_now: OdradekRex: What's the difference between the GOP religious right and the Taliban?

The Taliban wears beards and the GOP marries them.


what_now, I farking love you
 
2013-06-17 07:03:41 PM  
People should chill out about abortion jokes, it's not like anyone died.
 
2013-06-17 07:05:02 PM  
As the Republican Party tries to remake itself after the 2012 election to better appeal to young people and minorities

Hm, I dunno that sarcasm is going to be able to overcome "voter ID bills" and "immigration reform" that doesn't actually address either issue but legitimizes harassing minority citizens.  I also suspect it won't be enough to overcome the anti-abortion and anti-birth-control stuff and the opposition to the integration of the military that specifically targets and harasses younger people without, again, actually addressing any kind of real problem.

You need to change those planks in the platform or at least make some sort of attempt to hide them if you want younger people and minorities to support you, apart from a few outliers.

I mean, yes, gay marriage opposition is a problem with these demographics, but it's not THE problem.  You have to focus on fixing the actual direct attacks on the welfare of the voters in the target groups, and ensure they at least aren't openly supported by the majority of the party.
 
2013-06-17 07:06:11 PM  

Hickory-smoked: In all honestly, the "Umbert" comics don't strike me as evil. The logic is terrible and myopic, the jokes aren't actually jokes, and there is a weird tendency to view women as passive incubators... but aside from thatit's pretty tame.


I've bolded the part that's pretty goddamn evil. Just because it's not *malicious* doesn't mean it's not evil.

"Down there - he said - are people who will follow any dragon, worship any god, ignore any inequity. All out of a kind of humdrum, everyday badness. Not the really high, creative loathsomeness of the great sinners, but a sort of mass-produced darkness of the soul. Sin, you might say, without a trace of originality. They accept evil not because they say yes, but because they don't say no."  -Havelock Vetinari, from Terry Pratchett's Guards! Guards!

Also:

"There is a very interesting debate raging at the moment about the nature of sin, for example," said Oats.
"And what do they think? Against it, are they?" said Granny Weatherwax.
"It's not as simple as that. It's not a black and white issue. There are so many shades of gray."
"Nope."
"Pardon?"
"There's no grays, only white that's got grubby. I'm surprised you don't know that. And sin, young man, is when you treat people as things. Including yourself. That's what sin is."
"It's a lot more complicated than that-"
"No. It ain't. When people say things are a lot more complicated than that, they means they're getting worried that they won't like the truth. People as things, that's where it starts."
"Oh, I'm sure there are worse crimes-"
"But they starts with thinking about people as things..."

(From Carpe Jugulum)
 
2013-06-17 07:08:24 PM  
Will people please stop linking these unfunny comics?  I'm afraid that the authors will start thinking they've done something right with their lives when they see their bandwidth spike today.
 
2013-06-17 07:18:45 PM  

Hickory-smoked: The "HopeNChange" strips, on the other hand, appear to be based entirely on paranoia, spite and bigotry.


And made up shiat.  Don't forget all the made up shiat.
 
2013-06-17 07:22:15 PM  
Abortion jokes? I'm sure sickipedia can help.

A police officer is driving down a quiet road when he sees a pregnant Chav girl with a coat hanger up her pussy.
Police officer says ''I'm arresting you on suspicion of performing an illegal abortion''
The Chav girl replies ''Nah mate, I'm just piercin' its ears, innit."

I've just been banned from eBay.
Apparently, a rat and a plastic tube does not constitute a DIY abortion kit.

BBC: "First pro-abortion advert to be broadcast"
I'm guessing it's just a photo of Piers Morgan for 15 seconds.

I jokingly told my girlfriend that her farts smelled like dead babies & she flipped out.
She's been acting so weird since the abortion.

"Don't kid yourself."
Will be a great slogan for my new abortion clinic.
 
2013-06-17 07:42:20 PM  

Parthenogenetic: Marshal805: WizardofToast: Sgt Otter: WizardofToast: Skyrmion: Liberal-leaning humor can be just as bland and awful as the Conservative stuff. I present, "The Brilliant Mind of Edison Lee":

There's one really lazy liberal comic which is just Calvin and Hobbes with all the political messages and none of the humor. While Calvin and Hobbes was about a wacky kid with a wild imagination and a relatable child personality when it came to school, imagination, Saturdays and the occasional tough moment in life, the other comic was about a kid trying to parrot liberal politics while her animal friends either agreed or conservative strawmanned at her.

Liberals and conservatives can be horrible with humor. The conservative side often carries more racist jokes because they have more old people that are unaccepting of social change. But I can garuntee there is some racist liberal humor out there somewhere.

Ted Rall, is a liberal cartoonist who is an absolute asshole.  When he was wasn't mocking Pat Tillman or 9/11 widows, he routinely referred to Colin Powell and Condi Rice as "Bush's House N---gers."

The momet you said Ted Rall, the image of his Pat Tillman comic returned to my brain. Panel by panel. Word by word. I even remember his comment to Condi and Colin.

What a goddamn tool.

I'm surprised anyone could READ those strips.  Rall CANNOT DRAW.

He's not much worse than Matt Groening, who's enjoyed a fair amount of success.  It was the subject matter.

[radio.weblogs.com image 500x387]
[kevinczap.com image 720x759]


Nope.  He could be completely apolitical and his art would still look like dog shiat.
 
2013-06-17 07:54:21 PM  

Parthenogenetic: He's not much worse than Matt Groening, who's enjoyed a fair amount of success.  It was the subject matter.


That's an interesting observation. I'd have to say you're right. My only question, though, is who in the hell is Matt Groening?

/Kidding.
//Seriously, though...Ted Rall's an asshole.
 
2013-06-17 08:04:37 PM  
Great.  Another piece about how the Republican party wizards think all they need to do is some "re-branding."  No awareness at all that their support is eroding due to their terrible policies, hateful rhetoric, and obeisance to the worst of the nutball right.
 
2013-06-17 08:20:24 PM  

Raoul Eaton: Great.  Another piece about how the Republican party wizards think all they need to do is some "re-branding."  No awareness at all that their support is eroding due to their terrible policies, hateful rhetoric, and obeisance to the worst of the nutball right.


Look, it's not hate, all right?  It's love.  Tough love.

Minorities?  Well, we didn't make them stupid, lazy, and genetically inferior to white people, God did. We are just reminding them of their many shortcomings, so that they won't feel the crushing disappointment of inevitable failure when they try to attain the same level of achievement as Real Americans.  Out of love.

And broads? Well, come on. You really think they're equal?  Really?  You're not kidding....?  Are you a girl too?  Well that explains it.  What's that?  You over there...?  You too? You're a guy?  What are you, gay or something?

And speaking of gay, God hates homosexuality.  We are just trying to warn the gays their souls are in danger of eternal damnation, that's all. Out of love and concern for the salvation of their immortal souls.  Who Jesus hates, by the way, because they're gay.  I mean, being gay is just as sinful as being a pedophile who is turned on by eight year old kids.  You think your opinion matters more than Jesus?  Well, that's just, like, your opinion, man.  Nobody f*cks with the Jesus.  Eight year olds, dude.
 
2013-06-17 08:43:24 PM  
I'm pretty sure it was the children of christianist conservatives that clued me in that I had a heart with the joke that starts off "what do you call two (gay guys) on a skateboard?". My mom had to explain it to me, and we both decided it wasn't very funny at all.
 
2013-06-17 08:48:55 PM  
 
2013-06-17 09:09:19 PM  
Abortion is a funny issue.

You mean, let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it's me, I'm a little farked up maybe, but it's funny how, I mean funny like abortion is a clown, it amuses you? It makes you laugh, it's here to farkin' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How is it funny?
 
2013-06-17 09:10:07 PM  

AnonAmbientLight: Marriage is a contract. Nothing more. Nothing less. In practice you can actually gain all the benefits of marriage through setting up contracts and legal documents. If you wanted to, you can gain all the benefits of marriage, with your friend, by setting up a contract. You can gain all the benefits of marriage with five people if you wanted to, by setting up a contract(shared bank accounts, property, power of attorney etc). The contract is then enforced by the courts. Done.

So what's the point. Get government out of the marriage business other than recognizing and enforcing contracts.


I hate this kind of argument because it doesn't make any sense when you think about it.  Government is involved because government grants special benefits (and sometimes penalties) for married people.  One need only look at a 1040 form to see that.  You cannot gain those benefits using simple contracts.
 
2013-06-17 09:12:29 PM  
I like Tom Tomorrow. He's usually right on the money.

home.comcast.net
 
2013-06-17 09:16:37 PM  
Conservative humor kind of reminds me of contemporary Christian music.
24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-06-17 10:09:03 PM  

RodneyToady: "How do you make abortion funny?"

Clown abortions?


25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-06-17 10:27:17 PM  

Satanic_Hamster: Hickory-smoked: The "HopeNChange" strips, on the other hand, appear to be based entirely on paranoia, spite and bigotry.

And made up shiat.  Don't forget all the made up shiat.


I was filing that under "paranoia," but I suppose we could sort by degrees of fabrication.
 
2013-06-17 10:33:45 PM  

Aarontology: Because if there's one thing young folks respond to, it's "jokes" by religious groups trying to be hip and relevant.


images1.wikia.nocookie.net

Are you telling me sex DOESN'T cause my penis to fall off and be eaten by dogs?!?!?!
 
2013-06-17 10:34:05 PM  

James F. Campbell: I like Tom Tomorrow. He's usually right on the money.

[home.comcast.net image 600x548]



I swear that guy's a Politics Tab regular.

Either that, or he hangs out somewhere with an identical zeitgeist, or he's somehow made a lot of us here see things just like he does, but I think it's most likely he's one of our regulars. A very high proportion of his cartoons feel like they've been incubated in Politics Tab threads I've read a couple days earlier.

And by 'incubated' I don't mean to say it looks like his cartoons are lifted verbatim from discussions here. It just feels like the author hangs around with us, kicks ideas back and forth for a while and maybe tosses out a joke or two now and then, but saves the best ideas he gets for his strips.

Just another crackpot theory of mine.
 
2013-06-17 10:42:45 PM  
Abortion is funny
i108.photobucket.com
 
2013-06-17 10:46:17 PM  

quizzical: Will people please stop linking these unfunny comics?  I'm afraid that the authors will start thinking they've done something right with their lives when they see their bandwidth spike today.


If Fark is giving them a page views spike, I say "good." That means they'll look up where everyone is hotlinking from, read this thread, and I can say this directly:

If you want to minimize abortion in the United States, you have to do two things; Promote comprehensive, fact-based sex education for all teenagers, and support universal health care for all women, including contraception. Nothing else is going to work at all.

You're welcome.
 
2013-06-17 11:16:31 PM  

Walter Paisley: Conservative humor kind of reminds me of contemporary Christian music.
[24.media.tumblr.com image 419x287]


Oh yeah? Well, your handle kind of reminds me of a horrible necktie I had to wear back in 1993 because it was a gift from my aunt.

encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com

 
2013-06-17 11:18:53 PM  

Walter Paisley: Conservative humor kind of reminds me of contemporary Christian music.
[24.media.tumblr.com image 419x287]


Oh yeah? Well, your handle kind of reminds me of that ugly necktie that got Karl Rove in trouble.

i.chzbgr.com

 
2013-06-17 11:44:57 PM  

YoungSwedishBlonde: Mrtraveler01: Same thing happened with McCain, he was running close to Obama for the beginning half of the election cycle but once he decided to appease to his base try to pick up disaffected Hillary voters from Hillaryis44  by picking Palin to run as VP, his polling numbers started to tank.


The GOP wasn't trying to pick up disaffected Hillary voters. They seriously thought Obama was going to pick Hillary and they needed their token woman. Remember, the GOP don't pick candidates based on skills (otherwise, how could they ever explain Palin). They pick candidates because of the superficial looks.
 
2013-06-18 12:01:47 AM  

phaseolus: James F. Campbell: I like Tom Tomorrow. He's usually right on the money.

[home.comcast.net image 600x548]


I swear that guy's a Politics Tab regular.

Either that, or he hangs out somewhere with an identical zeitgeist, or he's somehow made a lot of us here see things just like he does, but I think it's most likely he's one of our regulars. A very high proportion of his cartoons feel like they've been incubated in Politics Tab threads I've read a couple days earlier.

And by 'incubated' I don't mean to say it looks like his cartoons are lifted verbatim from discussions here. It just feels like the author hangs around with us, kicks ideas back and forth for a while and maybe tosses out a joke or two now and then, but saves the best ideas he gets for his strips.

Just another crackpot theory of mine.


Hey, maybe he does.
 
2013-06-18 12:10:46 AM  

Hickory-smoked: Satanic_Hamster: Hickory-smoked: The "HopeNChange" strips, on the other hand, appear to be based entirely on paranoia, spite and bigotry.

And made up shiat.  Don't forget all the made up shiat.

I was filing that under "paranoia," but I suppose we could sort by degrees of fabrication.


There's a difference between delusional or making up shiat liars and paranoia.

You can still be paranoid without making up things / lying or being delusional.
 
2013-06-18 12:42:24 AM  

WI241TH: [i.imgur.com image 400x500]


I laugh every time I see that. They should put it on a billboard like they do with those stodgy "abortion stops a beating heart" ones I see all the time.
 
2013-06-18 12:56:45 AM  

sweetmelissa31: Is this an argument for opening our borders?

[1.bp.blogspot.com image 342x477]


Not like conservatives would hire the teachers or make the shoes here, those babies would have just increased the trade imbalance. Hell, maybe the shoes would be made here because wages would have to be depressed about 30% for the 1% to keep getting their lionshare.
 
2013-06-18 02:14:15 AM  

Walter Paisley: Conservative humor kind of reminds me of contemporary Christian music.
[24.media.tumblr.com image 419x287]


Exactly. Political humour is an attack upon its target. Rock is, at least traditionally, rebellious in nature. They simply don't work when used to prop up the establishment.
 
2013-06-18 02:18:09 AM  
Abortion photo captioned "Free Kid"
 
2013-06-18 04:26:42 AM  

AlanSmithee: Fuggin Bizzy: sweetmelissa31: In other news, there is a comic strip less funny than Mallard Filmore.

Yeah, "Umbert" is pretty shiatty as cartoons go. Even his name sucks. It's (probably) a ripoff of "Dilbert," because "-berts" are funny. Why the "Um-" prefix though? It rhymes with "Un-" as in "unborn." Kinda. I guess.

/Dilbert's dog was originally going to be named "Dildog," but the publishing syndicate nixed that idea. True story.

Maybe for 'umbilical'? Who knows...


Actually, I thought the Umbert name was a rip off of equally unfunny Eggbert comics from the 70s also about an unborn fetus.

http://www.misterkitty.org/extras/stupidcovers/stupidcomics206.html

/Warning: seriously not funny.
 
2013-06-18 04:43:10 AM  

dericwater: YoungSwedishBlonde: Mrtraveler01: Same thing happened with McCain, he was running close to Obama for the beginning half of the election cycle but once he decided to appease to his base try to pick up disaffected Hillary voters from Hillaryis44  by picking Palin to run as VP, his polling numbers started to tank.

The GOP wasn't trying to pick up disaffected Hillary voters. They seriously thought Obama was going to pick Hillary and they needed their token woman. Remember, the GOP don't pick candidates based on skills (otherwise, how could they ever explain Palin). They pick candidates because of the superficial looks.


Except that Obama announced Biden as his VP choice a week before McCain announced his.
 
2013-06-18 04:54:32 AM  
By t

mcnguyen: dericwater: YoungSwedishBlonde: Mrtraveler01: Same thing happened with McCain, he was running close to Obama for the beginning half of the election cycle but once he decided to appease to his base try to pick up disaffected Hillary voters from Hillaryis44  by picking Palin to run as VP, his polling numbers started to tank.

The GOP wasn't trying to pick up disaffected Hillary voters. They seriously thought Obama was going to pick Hillary and they needed their token woman. Remember, the GOP don't pick candidates based on skills (otherwise, how could they ever explain Palin). They pick candidates because of the superficial looks.

Except that Obama announced Biden as his VP choice a week before McCain announced his.


By then, it was too late and they couldn't change it back to Romney or whoever else they considered.
 
2013-06-18 05:21:53 AM  

Rann Xerox: Too late, O Republican Party:

[i78.photobucket.com image 638x262]

TEArell: The facts of life... to make a radical alteration in the evolvement of an American political party is fatal. A coding sequence cannot be revised once it's been established.
GOP Batty: Why not?
TEArell: Because by the second mid-term of incubation, any cells that have undergone TEA Party reversion mutation give rise to revertant colonies, like rats leaving a sinking ship; then the ship... sinks.
GOP Batty: What about EMS-3 Moderate recombination?
TEArell: We've already tried it - Huntsman, Collins, Snowe, Brown, Lugar......; it created a virus so lethal the subject was dead before it even left the table.
GOP Batty: Then a RINO repressor protein that would block the operating cells.
TEArell: Wouldn't obstruct replication; but it does give rise to an error in replication, so that the newly formed DNA strand carries with it a TEA Party mutation - and you've got a virus again... but this, all of this is academic. You were made as well as we could make you.
GOP Batty: But not to last.
TEArell: The light that burns twice as bright burns for half as long - and you have burned so very, very brightly, GOP. Look at you: you're the Prodigal Son; you're quite a prize!
GOP Batty: I've done... questionable things.
TEArell: Also extraordinary things; revel in your time.
GOP Batty: Nothing the God of Politics wouldn't let you into heaven for.


Beautiful.
 
2013-06-18 07:29:16 AM  

Raharu: [img211.imageshack.us image 800x392]


Here's the Commentary for that comic:

Today is the observance of Yom Hashoah, the remembrance of the Holocaust. And first and foremost, Hope n' Change offers sincere apologies to those rightfully offended by today's entirely tasteless cartoon. Unless they're Obama supporters, in which case you can go straight to hell because we really do believe the First Family is this despicable.

This is the president who is allowing Iran to obtain nuclear weapons with which to wipe Israel off the map (after which, we suppose, we'll have to refer to Holocaust I and Holocaust II). And this is the woman who could think of nothing about our country which made her proud like, oh, winning World War II and saving as many people as possible from the death camps.

In fact, according to the president, an uncle on his mother's side helped liberate Auschwitz. Or at least, that was his story until it was pointed out that Auschwitz was liberated by forces of the Soviet Union, after which the president changed his story to say that maybe he was thinking of Buchenwald or something, because pretty much all death camps look alike.

The purpose of Yom Hashoah is to remember the Holocaust so that nothing like it can ever happen again. So is it wildly inappropriate for Hope n' Change to attack Barack Obama on this sad and solemn day? We don't think so.

Not as long as he continues to strengthen his own hold on power by pushing hate, fear, and enmity among different groups. Not as long as this administration increases surveillance (and therefore coercive pressure) on "suspected terrorists" like conservatives, veterans, and Christians. Not as long as this president defends the taking of millions of innocent lives via abortion - including"postnatal termination" which amounts to beheading a newborn child (and thanks to Obamacare, your "medical technician" will shout "Allahu Akbar!" at no extra charge). Not as long as this president seeks to use executive orders to ...


Stay classy, conservatives.
 
2013-06-18 07:37:18 AM  
Lets do some social conservative comedy!!!*

A woman tries to have an abortion.  But she messes up and falls off a cliff onto an exploding bomb.   Because she's a woman.
A woman had an abortion and woke up as a fetus and got aborted.  Over and over again forever because she was in hell.
A woman had over 9000 abortions but they always failed because the baby was Jesus.  (He put the bomb there for woman #1)
There was a gay wedding, but everyone disappeared into a black hole because there's no such thing as gay marriage.
A pregnant woman asks 3 wise men about what she should do with her pregnancy.  She gets 3 wrong answers because none of them were Christian.
A True American man+woman wedding was happening.  There was lobster, ham, and people were wearing poly-cotton blend clothing.  Jesus showed up and gave them a thumbs up because they were following the important parts of the Bible.
A gay wedding happened and a bomb blew it up.  Liberals called it terrorism even though Jesus put the bomb there.  It was the same bomb the blew up the woman.
A smug atheist professor challenged anyone in the lecture hall to prove Christianity.  A christian student stood up and shouted "I accept!"  Right then, Jesus walked into the room, the professor peed his pants, and everyone in the room was instantly a Christian.
Forward this to everyone you know.  I was a gay liberal progressive communist fascist Obama kool-aid drinking wiccan satanic atheist evolutionist global warming alarmist humanist nazi until I read these jokes.  If it fails to convince them send it again.
--
*Sorry, but I'm only 500% as good at comedy** as an actual social conservative.

**500% of 0 is 0.
 
2013-06-18 07:38:39 AM  

VitruvianMonkey: ALL GIRLS AGREE TO PULL PANTIES DOWN: serial_crusher: Gunther: Somacandra: Seriously--what is the joke supposed to be?

Right wing humor is clearly too sophisticated for you.

Seriously though, there's a reason why 99% of comedians are left-wingers. Comedy requires subtlety, which requires a viewpoint capable of distinguishing shades of gray. If you see everything in absolutist terms you cannot write a joke.

i think the successful formula for right wing humor is that it has to be slightly offensive.  Take the South Park episode with Christopher Reeve for example.  It would be a stretch to call South Park a right wing show in general--they pretty much make fun of everything--but that particular episode resonates with common right wing views.  The whole thing is about Christopher Reeve killing fetuses for personal gain and becoming a super villain in the process.  The way he snaps the fetuses' necks to suck the stem cells out really drives home the supposed vileness of what he's doing.  That's how political humor should work.  Make people laugh, but also get them thinking.

The depiction of Christopher Reeve was so over-the-top, I thought it was a parody of conservatives' perception of the stem-cell debate.

It was. He completely missed the point. Apparently, Cartman cloning a Shakey's Pizza with stem cells wasn't a big enough clue that they were making fun of the whole public conception of what stem cells can do.


Well, here's what Wikipedia has to say on that episode:
According to Matt Stone and Trey Parker, they had the idea to do a Christopher Reeve parody since the previous season but held it off: "For a long time we're like, 'You know what? Maybe that's not cool.'" The two decided to do the parody because they were having trouble coming up with an idea for an episode and Reeve happened to be on Larry King Live that night. After seeing the interview, the two thought to themselves "You know what? fark him. He really is taking up this cause of 'Everyone needs to help me out.'"

That's the conservative position in a nutshell.  People don't care who they kill to get their own problems fixed.
 
2013-06-18 08:07:35 AM  

Raharu: [img211.imageshack.us image 800x392]


Here's the Commentary for that comic:

Today is the observance of Yom Hashoah, the remembrance of the Holocaust. And first and foremost, Hope n' Change offers sincere apologies to those rightfully offended by today's entirely tasteless cartoon. Unless they're Obama supporters, in which case you can go straight to hell because we really do believe the First Family is this despicable.

This is the president who is allowing Iran to obtain nuclear weapons with which to wipe Israel off the map (after which, we suppose, we'll have to refer to Holocaust I and Holocaust II). And this is the woman who could think of nothing about our country which made her proud like, oh, winning World War II and saving as many people as possible from the death camps.

In fact, according to the president, an uncle on his mother's side helped liberate Auschwitz. Or at least, that was his story until it was pointed out that Auschwitz was liberated by forces of the Soviet Union, after which the president changed his story to say that maybe he was thinking of Buchenwald or something, because pretty much all death camps look alike.

The purpose of Yom Hashoah is to remember the Holocaust so that nothing like it can ever happen again. So is it wildly inappropriate for Hope n' Change to attack Barack Obama on this sad and solemn day? We don't think so.

Not as long as he continues to strengthen his own hold on power by pushing hate, fear, and enmity among different groups. Not as long as this administration increases surveillance (and therefore coercive pressure) on "suspected terrorists" like conservatives, veterans, and Christians. Not as long as this president defends the taking of millions of innocent lives via abortion - including"postnatal termination" which amounts to beheading a newborn child (and thanks to Obamacare, your "medical technician" will shout "Allahu Akbar!" at no extra charge). Not as long as this president seeks to use executive orders to ...



Here's a tip. If you have to write a commentary to explain the jokes, then your jokes were probably not funny or well thought out.
 
2013-06-18 08:07:39 AM  

Aarontology: Because if there's one thing young folks respond to, it's "jokes" by religious groups trying to be hip and relevant.


Exactly.  I wonder if they will decide to incorporate it into a rap song?  That would be priceless.

The real weakness in the "strategy" lies in the fact that conservatives usually suck at humor because it is more mean spirited than funny, and they are usually on the side of an issue which is easier to ridicule using logic.
 
2013-06-18 08:33:06 AM  

heavymetal: The real weakness in the "strategy" lies in the fact that conservatives usually suck at humor because it is more mean spirited than funny, and they are usually on the side of an issue which is easier to ridicule using logic.


Yep.  And to "get" the joke,  you'd have to know all the insane made up facts and conspiracy theories and be familiar with Fake Obama and Fake Democrats.
 
2013-06-18 08:57:40 AM  

www.lds.org
...and that is when the father in this true story says, "The Aristocrats!"

 
2013-06-18 09:32:56 AM  

Target Builder: It's pretty impressive how they manage to completely remove the woman from the comic.


It's pretty creepy if you ask me.
 
2013-06-18 09:47:35 AM  

OdradekRex: What's the difference between the GOP religious right and the Taliban?


The establishment clause of the constitution?
 
2013-06-18 12:24:15 PM  

CourtroomWolf: Lets do some social conservative comedy!!!*


Good try, but still too funny and insufficiently mean-spirited.

How did Obama become the best president of all time? Because he was the best at being a terrible president!!!

How do you get a liberal out of a tree? Chop down the tree and throw it into a wood chipper!!!

Why do minorities keep voting Democrat? Because they have bad educations from Democrat run schools!!

Why do Republican and Democrat presidents never meet in heaven? Because the Democrats are all roasting in Hell!!

What do you call two gay men who want to devote their lives to one another in the sacred act of marriage? Perverts!!!

Why are there so many Muslims living in the world today? Because there's a shortage on bullets!!!1!

What smells like garlic. has a beret and a cowardly streak of yellow piss? A Frenchman!!! LOLOLOLOL laughter OL
 
2013-06-18 01:38:17 PM  

serial_crusher: That's the conservative position in a nutshell. People don't care who they kill to get their own problems fixed.


That you are praising Matt Stone and Trey Parker confirms it for me: they're vile, unfunny, mean-spirited people who could vastly improve the world by dying as quickly as possible.
 
2013-06-18 03:03:24 PM  
They're looking at the finger and not the food here. Snarky, sarcastic humor often comes from a desire to be seen as better than others, or from a desire to distance oneself from uncomfortable empathic emotions. It's those root desires that could be manipulated into GOP victory. If they want to appeal to those parts of youth culture that are always present, IMO they should look to their existing success at portraying the conservative as rebel against the liberal establishment - the "better than others" part. The distance from empathic emotions will become useful later on.

The "rebel against the liberal establishment" part simultaneous with the "better than the liberals" is key here, and although it doesn't make a lot of sense on the face of it, it works precisely because of its inherent conflicts. The portrayal of the enemy as simultaneously laughably incompetent yet also frighteningly powerful, ugly yet also an unfair sexual competitor, and so on is a known, proven, workable method. The portrayal of one's own as simultaneously the majority and an oppressed minority works. The reason why it works is that it invokes feelings of unjust rule and a belief in an inevitable victory. That the dirty, stupid, weak, effeminate enemy is in power while the clean, intelligent, strong, masculine self is oppressed violates the natural order, is unjust, and cannot stand.

Who is most offended by injustice? Middle schoolers. High schoolers. Early college students. They should be able to spin that same old and proven technique into an identity that will touch young voters and soon-to-be voters who want to "think for themselves", to "stand out from the crowd", or even "stick it to the man" - possibly also to blame their lack of financial prospects, job prospects, girlfriends, boyfriends, whatever on some enemy. Start it where many radical movements start - with students - and also with recent students. Appeal to the indebted graduates, or even to college dropouts with student loans. Appeal to people who may genuinely be suffering injustice, or feeling a perceived injustice, and give them an explanation for why they are so unjustly put-upon and who is doing it to them. It'll work. It always works. Humor could be an effective vehicle for that message - it would be absurd for better people to be ruled over by worse ones, and absurdity lies at the core of effective humor.

The distancing from empathy comes in when there's a danger that the target voter might soften, might sympathize with a woman who wants an abortion or a gay couple who wants to marry. There's a few ways around that. The first is redirection, so that the empathy a person feels toward the example in the present goes toward future people or people not present - it's the same principle as getting a person to stop feeding a specific stray cat or cats in order to reduce the number and therefore the suffering of stray cats in general. The second is transformation, so that the emotional difficulty of doing or not doing a thing becomes evidence of the justness and necessity of the thing - the suffering a person experiences overrides the suffering the person causes, and they become the martyr. The third is justification, which needs very little explanation - that person deserves their own suffering. The fourth is negation, and that's the unstable one that they should leave alone. It allows a person to maintain their belief in their own morality where morality requires empathy for other suffering human beings. Rather than negating the suffering of the other (homeless people like being homeless), it negates the humanity of the other. The life of the other falls to the category of animal, livestock at best, pest at worst. That one can get out of hand.

/end sarcasm
 
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