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(Waukesha Now)   The man "was arrested and taken to Waukesha Memorial Hospital, where he became increasingly agitated, screaming that it was a constitutional right to have sex with a goat"   (waukeshanow.com ) divider line
    More: Amusing, Waukesha, Waukesha Memorial Hospital, Waukesha Memorial, constitutional rights, Montecito, screaming  
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5030 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Jun 2013 at 1:24 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



117 Comments   (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2013-06-17 01:08:00 PM  
"...but you fark ONE sheep..."
 
2013-06-17 01:26:03 PM  
Right? Nay, duty!
 
2013-06-17 01:26:06 PM  
It's actually true. It's down at the bottom, in really small print, but it's in there.
 
2013-06-17 01:28:12 PM  

show me: "...but you fark ONE sheep..."


You become a congressperson?
 
2013-06-17 01:28:23 PM  

Isn't that how that old saying starts?  "First they came for the goat farkers, but I said nothing, because I do not fark goats."



Slippery slope, people!
 
2013-06-17 01:28:54 PM  
Kwin?
 
2013-06-17 01:29:08 PM  
I blame gay marriage.

Well, you knew SOMEBODY was going to.
 
2013-06-17 01:29:43 PM  

jake_lex: Isn't that how that old saying starts?  "First they came for the goat farkers, but I said nothing, because I do not fark goats."

Slippery slope, people!


And a little sticky.  Maybe kinda smelly.
 
2013-06-17 01:30:02 PM  

FARK rebel soldier: Kwin?


Do they even MAKE goat RealDolls?
 
2013-06-17 01:30:05 PM  
that is a very baaaaaaaaaaaaa-aaaa--aaaad maaaa-aaa---aaaaaaaan.

/apologies to Jim Breuer
 
2013-06-17 01:30:56 PM  

iheartscotch: show me: "...but you fark ONE sheep..."

You become a congressperson?


Well, yeah, that's something that hadn't occurred to me, but it works.
 
2013-06-17 01:31:38 PM  

iheartscotch: show me: "...but you fark ONE sheep..."

You become a congressperson?


A small price to pay, because after that you get to fark EVERYONE.
 
2013-06-17 01:32:43 PM  
It would seem in Obama's America the pursuit of happiness has its limits.

THANKS OBAMA!
 
2013-06-17 01:32:56 PM  
Done in one, I'll turn out the lights.
 
2013-06-17 01:32:56 PM  

Arkanaut: Right? Nay Neigh, duty!


FTF....um, a freind
 
2013-06-17 01:32:57 PM  
Well, to be fair, nothing in the Constitution says he can't fark a goat.
 
2013-06-17 01:33:27 PM  
 
2013-06-17 01:33:39 PM  

UrukHaiGuyz: Arkanaut: Right? Nay Neigh, duty!

FTF....um, a freind


grammar goat is not amused
 
2013-06-17 01:34:08 PM  

UrukHaiGuyz: Arkanaut: Right? Nay Neigh, duty!

FTF....um, a freind


I before e except when English is completely arbitrary

/goddammitsomuch
 
2013-06-17 01:34:10 PM  
Shaun Keith Owen had a farm, eyi eyi yo! And on that farm he had a sexy goat, eyi eyi yo!

With a "Grunt grunt!" here, and a "Grunt grunt!" there. Here a grunt, there a grunt, everywhere a grunt grunt!

Shaun Keith Owen had a farm, eyi eyi yo!
 
2013-06-17 01:34:19 PM  
Enough already with all the "freedom to goat and sheep fark" palaver.  How about us guys who are into wolverine love?  We're a hardy lot and ready to protect our constitutional rights!
 
2013-06-17 01:34:25 PM  
was it in front of a daycare?

was it dead?
 
2013-06-17 01:35:33 PM  
I was half expecting it to be Glen Beck
 
2013-06-17 01:35:35 PM  
Don't ask, don't neigh
 
2013-06-17 01:36:28 PM  

FARK rebel soldier: Kwin?


When Kwin the eEskimo gets here all the kids are gonna run to him.
 
2013-06-17 01:36:49 PM  

Ghastly: It would seem in Obama's America the pursuit of happiness has its limits.

THANKS OBAMA!


Ick. Happiness is a waaaaarm, yes it iiiis.............Gooooooohwoooooaaatt.

/apologies all around
 
2013-06-17 01:37:29 PM  
Thank god this was the good kind of kid farking.
 
2013-06-17 01:37:34 PM  
 
2013-06-17 01:39:03 PM  
Its implied by Lawrence v. Texas but I don't think its actually been ruled on one way IR another.
 
2013-06-17 01:40:21 PM  

ciberido: I blame gay marriage.

Well, you knew SOMEBODY was going to.


No, we're responsible for turtle-farking.

Or so the infographic told me, anyway...
 
2013-06-17 01:40:28 PM  
We need to find this man and pray the goat love away.
 
2013-06-17 01:41:37 PM  
Check out his google+ comments.  The guy is straight-up loony tunes.   https://plus.google.com/+TimOReilly/posts/6v27m7ZCRyh

/the "escorted him to the floor" comment by the bartender was rich
/you picked the ugly one
 
2013-06-17 01:41:50 PM  
Dad?
 
2013-06-17 01:42:25 PM  

Raharu: I was half expecting it to be Glen Beck


No, that would be "raped and murdered a goat in 1990".
 
2013-06-17 01:43:20 PM  
Oh it happened in Wisconsin? Color me surprised...

farking 'sconi's
 
2013-06-17 01:43:23 PM  
Well, Wisconsin is the land of cheese. Cheddar cheese, Blue cheese, Goat cheese, Dick cheese..................
 
2013-06-17 01:44:48 PM  
It's not wrong if the goat's name is Sylvia.

<obscure?>
 
2013-06-17 01:45:03 PM  

Ghastly: It would seem in Obama's America the pursuit of happiness has its limits.

THANKS OBAMA!


4.bp.blogspot.com
Prego.
 
2013-06-17 01:45:06 PM  
Yet another responsible gun owner.
 
2013-06-17 01:45:52 PM  

CrazyCracka420: Oh it happened in Wisconsin? Color me surprised...

farking 'sconi's


Sorta surprised being in Waukesha.   Now, anywhere North and West of Green Bay...
 
2013-06-17 01:45:54 PM  

Nina_Hartley's_Ass: Yet another responsible gun owner.


Hopefully, not a Gnu owner, though. Right?
 
2013-06-17 01:46:33 PM  
"pursuit of happiness"

In one of the drafts it was property
 
2013-06-17 01:46:39 PM  
TFA: Orris became belligerent and the owner said he "directed him to the floor"

twimg0-a.akamaihd.net
 
2013-06-17 01:47:41 PM  

Nina_Hartley's_Ass: Yet another responsible gun pocketknife owner.


woopsie.
 
2013-06-17 01:48:13 PM  
Teacher leave them kids alone.
 
2013-06-17 01:49:34 PM  

skinink: Shaun Keith Owen had a farm, eyi eyi yo! And on that farm he had a sexy goat, eyi eyi yo!

With a "Grunt grunt!" here, and a "Grunt grunt!" there. Here a grunt, there a grunt, everywhere a grunt grunt!

Shaun Keith Owen had a farm, eyi eyi yo!


"Sexy goat" is what my friends call the goat spawn in Arkham Horror:

www.arkhamhorrorwiki.com/Goat_Spawn
 
2013-06-17 01:49:41 PM  

xanadian: ciberido: I blame gay marriage.

Well, you knew SOMEBODY was going to.

No, we're responsible for turtle-farking.

Or so the infographic told me, anyway...


Don't forget the headless lolis. If there's one thing gays love its farking headless little girls.
 
2013-06-17 01:50:36 PM  
2 legs good. 4 legs baaad.
 
2013-06-17 01:51:22 PM  
All hail Shaun Keith Orris, Tall Talker, Horn Blower and Breaker of Ice, the Mead-King of Ruddy Hall, Speaker to Gods, Father of Hosts, and Husband to Bears Goats.
 
2013-06-17 01:51:31 PM  

neversubmit: "pursuit of happiness"


No, that's the Declaration of Independence.

And it's "purfuit of happineff".
 
2013-06-17 01:53:02 PM  
Sexy goat thread?

i.imgur.com
 
2013-06-17 01:53:16 PM  
what's is fark name again?
 
2013-06-17 01:57:37 PM  
He's not getting me.

www.latimes.com
 
2013-06-17 01:58:12 PM  
Turtles are still good though right?
 
2013-06-17 01:58:35 PM  

ciberido: Do they even MAKE goat RealDolls?


www.bendigobank.com.au
/image link is hot
//like Kwin for a goat with the clap
 
2013-06-17 02:01:32 PM  
The owner asked Orris to leave, but he refused, the complaint reads. At one point, Orris became belligerent and the owner said he "directed him to the floor," leaving a cut on Orris' head.

I want to be in the courtroom for this guy's testimony.

DISTRICT ATTORNEY: And once you'd shown him to the floor, what happened next?
OWNER: I prepared him a sandwich.
DA: What kind of sandwich?
OWNER: I believe it was a knuckle sandwich.
DA: And then what happened?
OWNER: In all the confusion, his timepiece had become dirty, so I attended to that.
DA: In other words, you cleaned his clock?
OWNER: That's fair to say.
 
2013-06-17 02:02:05 PM  

Ghastly: xanadian: ciberido: I blame gay marriage.

Well, you knew SOMEBODY was going to.

No, we're responsible for turtle-farking.

Or so the infographic told me, anyway...

Don't forget the headless lolis. If there's one thing gays love its farking headless little girls.


I ...

...

I must've missed that memo.
 
2013-06-17 02:06:09 PM  
I always love to see my hometown on Fark.
 
2013-06-17 02:07:12 PM  

hutchkc: Turtles are still good though right?


not to mention chicken farking is still in vogue...
 
2013-06-17 02:08:34 PM  
Well, the government should at least try to articulate a legitimate state interest in infringing his liberty to have sex with a goat.
 
2013-06-17 02:09:04 PM  
dramatic reenactment (NSFW)
 
2013-06-17 02:09:40 PM  

d23: hutchkc: Turtles are still good though right?

not to mention chicken farking is still in vogue...


i4.ytimg.com
 
2013-06-17 02:11:38 PM  

Nephilim clones can be seen at NFL games. We didn't get taller because of growth hormones in milk. That came from DNA extracted from the nephilim bones found in N America. The bones are in the library. Paid disinfo agents minimize and seek to label those insane who tell the truth. The bones are online at the Smithsonian etc Atheists and cult killers want this ignored because it proves the Biblical story of David vs Goliath as truth not fantasy.
Great gnashing of teeth ....


Whoa...
 
2013-06-17 02:14:16 PM  
Sometimes its nice to see your hometown in the news.  This is not one of those times.
 
2013-06-17 02:16:29 PM  

Rising_Zan_Samurai_Gunman: Sometimes its nice to see your hometown in the news.  This is not one of those times.


Well, at least it wasn't in the news because of you.
 
2013-06-17 02:16:45 PM  

wambu: Sexy goat thread?

[i.imgur.com image 400x316]


I've got the weirdest boner right now....the smokes really do it for me!
 
2013-06-17 02:21:48 PM  
I spent a month in Waukesha several years ago.  After seeing the female prospects around there, I can almost understand why he'd choose the goat.
 
2013-06-17 02:23:21 PM  

Repo Man: Nephilim clones can be seen at NFL games. We didn't get taller because of growth hormones in milk. That came from DNA extracted from the nephilim bones found in N America. The bones are in the library. Paid disinfo agents minimize and seek to label those insane who tell the truth. The bones are online at the Smithsonian etc Atheists and cult killers want this ignored because it proves the Biblical story of David vs Goliath as truth not fantasy.
Great gnashing of teeth ....

Whoa...


Somehow it's comforting that this guy is just flat-out crazy. I mean, obviously he's crazy for being into goats, but it's sort of nice to know he's crazy in general, y'know?

If he were just crazy about one thing, you could probably know him for years and not realize. Instead he seems like the sort of person who'd announce that he's receiving CIA broadcasts on his fillings within the first thirty seconds of conversation.
 
2013-06-17 02:23:27 PM  

sandbar67: It's actually true. It's down at the bottom, in really small print, but it's in there.


69th amendment, if I'm not mistaken.
 
2013-06-17 02:27:28 PM  
24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-06-17 02:27:53 PM  

howdoibegin: Obligatory.


Also obligatory.

There needs to be some sort of rule that there's an xkcd comic and/or a Weird Al Song for every possible Fark thread.
 
2013-06-17 02:29:19 PM  
Dis is what happens in Wisconsin when you go talkin' about dat love dere dat dere not speak its name.
 
2013-06-17 02:30:10 PM  
Aberforth Dumbledore?
 
2013-06-17 02:32:01 PM  

Carn: jake_lex: Isn't that how that old saying starts?  "First they came for the goat farkers, but I said nothing, because I do not fark goats."

Slippery slope, people!

And a little sticky.  Maybe kinda smelly.


Much like the floor of a theater.
 
2013-06-17 02:34:36 PM  

Prey4reign: Enough already with all the "freedom to goat and sheep fark" palaver.  How about us guys who are into wolverine love?  We're a hardy lot and ready to protect our constitutional rights!


1.bp.blogspot.com
I support you guys 100%, so long as you'll let me cut in line.
 
2013-06-17 02:41:14 PM  
To answer his question, the constitution does not ban goat farking so it is constitutional. Now of course the state does have the right to regulate it.
 
2013-06-17 02:41:53 PM  

comhcinc: To answer his question, the constitution does not ban goat farking so it is constitutional. Now of course the state does have the right to regulate it.


I don't think they do, no.
 
2013-06-17 02:42:04 PM  
There was just that one time in college.
 
2013-06-17 02:42:04 PM  
Sheesh. Guy was just -asking- if it's okay to hump goats, and he gets taken down?

What if his whole pickup routine is based around finding someone that says they believe it's okay? For all we know he was just intending to tag-team or something.
 
2013-06-17 02:46:29 PM  
Thanks, Smokey!
 
2013-06-17 02:54:37 PM  

Abuse Liability: dramatic reenactment (NSFW)


Everybody panic.
 
2013-06-17 02:56:51 PM  

Ned Stark: comhcinc: To answer his question, the constitution does not ban goat farking so it is constitutional. Now of course the state does have the right to regulate it.

I don't think they do, no.


Wisconsin Statute 944.17 (c) (d) expressly forbids committing an act of sexual gratification with an animal.
 
2013-06-17 02:59:12 PM  

catmandu: Ned Stark: comhcinc: To answer his question, the constitution does not ban goat farking so it is constitutional. Now of course the state does have the right to regulate it.

I don't think they do, no.

Wisconsin Statute 944.17 (c) (d) expressly forbids committing an act of sexual gratification with an animal.


What if neither you nor the goat feels gratification, but just shame, emptiness, and ennui?
 
2013-06-17 03:00:17 PM  

show me: catmandu: Ned Stark: comhcinc: To answer his question, the constitution does not ban goat farking so it is constitutional. Now of course the state does have the right to regulate it.

I don't think they do, no.

Wisconsin Statute 944.17 (c) (d) expressly forbids committing an act of sexual gratification with an animal.

What if neither you nor the goat feels gratification, but just shame, emptiness, and ennui?


Loophole!
 
2013-06-17 03:01:50 PM  

xanadian: ciberido: I blame gay marriage.

Well, you knew SOMEBODY was going to.

No, we're responsible for turtle-farking.


thenakedpheasant.files.wordpress.com
No, Pat Robertson assured me it was ducks.
 
2013-06-17 03:05:52 PM  

ciberido: xanadian: ciberido: I blame gay marriage.

Well, you knew SOMEBODY was going to.

No, we're responsible for turtle-farking.

[thenakedpheasant.files.wordpress.com image 640x480]
No, Pat Robertson assured me it was ducks.


Well, that just qua...no, not gonna say it.

........
 
2013-06-17 03:07:44 PM  

mithras_angel: Raharu: I was half expecting it to be Glen Beck

No, that would be "raped and murdered a goat in 1990".


But did Glen Beck LEGITIMATELY rape and murder a goat in 1990?  Or was it more like he just RAPE raped the duck?
 
2013-06-17 03:11:17 PM  

xanadian: ciberido: xanadian: ciberido: I blame gay marriage.

Well, you knew SOMEBODY was going to.

No, we're responsible for turtle-farking.

[thenakedpheasant.files.wordpress.com image 640x480]
No, Pat Robertson assured me it was ducks.

Well, that just qua...no, not gonna say it.

........


Quaintly fowled up?
 
2013-06-17 03:11:28 PM  

uncleacid: He's not getting me.

[www.latimes.com image 536x570]


css time: I used to know  David Rozgonyi, the guy who wrote the book "Goat Trees:"  He's a pretty interesting guy.
 
2013-06-17 03:14:30 PM  

Abuse Liability: dramatic reenactment (NSFW)


Well, there ya go.  Obviously when the man said it was his Constitutional right to fark a goat, he was referring to the whole Establishment Clause.
 
2013-06-17 03:18:22 PM  

ArcadianRefugee: Well, to be fair, nothing in the Constitution says he can't fark a goat.


"You can take my goat when you pry it off my cold, dead _______!"
 
2013-06-17 03:25:53 PM  
Hal Thompson wanted for questioning
 
2013-06-17 03:28:53 PM  

UrukHaiGuyz: xanadian: ciberido: xanadian: ciberido: I blame gay marriage.

Well, you knew SOMEBODY was going to.

No, we're responsible for turtle-farking.

[thenakedpheasant.files.wordpress.com image 640x480]
No, Pat Robertson assured me it was ducks.

Well, that just qua...no, not gonna say it.

........

Quaintly fowled up?


I was going to go for the obvious pun, but I figured it'd ruffle too many feathers.
 
2013-06-17 03:37:13 PM  

catmandu: Ned Stark: comhcinc: To answer his question, the constitution does not ban goat farking so it is constitutional. Now of course the state does have the right to regulate it.

I don't think they do, no.

Wisconsin Statute 944.17 (c) (d) expressly forbids committing an act of sexual gratification with an animal.


So, not a nanny state?
 
2013-06-17 03:48:10 PM  

Ghastly: xanadian: ciberido: I blame gay marriage.

Well, you knew SOMEBODY was going to.

No, we're responsible for turtle-farking.

Or so the infographic told me, anyway...


Don't forget the headless lolis. If there's one thing gays love its farking headless little girls.


Mind.

Blown.

Um. Um. Ahh. NO.

[NOPE SAT of DOOM.gif]
 
2013-06-17 03:51:26 PM  
 
2013-06-17 03:52:06 PM  
FTFA: To answer Orris' question, Wisconsin Statute 944.17 (c) (d) expressly forbids committing an act of sexual gratification with an animal.

FINALLY some responsible journalism! This writer deserves a Pulitzer.
 
2013-06-17 03:53:32 PM  

RobSeace: [i1.ytimg.com image 480x360]

Tie me to your headboard. Throw your legs over my shoulders, and let me wear you like a feed bag.


Oh, NSFW language in that link for anyone who didn't recognize Bill Hicks and figure that out for themselves...
 
2013-06-17 04:03:53 PM  

catmandu: Ned Stark: comhcinc: To answer his question, the constitution does not ban goat farking so it is constitutional. Now of course the state does have the right to regulate it.

I don't think they do, no.

Wisconsin Statute 944.17 (c) (d) expressly forbids committing an act of sexual gratification with an animal.


see above about not being challenged in court yet.
 
2013-06-17 04:05:25 PM  
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-06-17 04:05:44 PM  

xanadian: UrukHaiGuyz: xanadian: ciberido: xanadian: ciberido: I blame gay marriage.

Well, you knew SOMEBODY was going to.

No, we're responsible for turtle-farking.

[thenakedpheasant.files.wordpress.com image 640x480]
No, Pat Robertson assured me it was ducks.

Well, that just qua...no, not gonna say it.

........

Quaintly fowled up?

I was going to go for the obvious pun, but I figured it'd ruffle too many feathers.


I'm always down for a good punfest.
 
2013-06-17 04:16:45 PM  

UrukHaiGuyz: xanadian: UrukHaiGuyz: xanadian: ciberido: xanadian: ciberido: I blame gay marriage.

Well, you knew SOMEBODY was going to.

No, we're responsible for turtle-farking.

[thenakedpheasant.files.wordpress.com image 640x480]
No, Pat Robertson assured me it was ducks.

Well, that just qua...no, not gonna say it.

........

Quaintly fowled up?

I was going to go for the obvious pun, but I figured it'd ruffle too many feathers.

I'm always down for a good punfest.


They start capriciously in threads like this.
 
2013-06-17 04:51:09 PM  

offmymeds: Ghastly: It would seem in Obama's America the pursuit of happiness has its limits.

THANKS OBAMA!

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 384x345]
Prego.


I was gonna say, it's been over a couple minutes since the last new photo of Obama photoshopped into a Hitler costume has appeared on the interweb.
 
2013-06-17 04:52:05 PM  
Did the NSA solve this one?
 
2013-06-17 04:53:19 PM  

blatz514: CrazyCracka420: Oh it happened in Wisconsin? Color me surprised...

farking 'sconi's

Sorta surprised being in Waukesha.   Now, anywhere North and West of Green Bay...


Thanks, Walker.

Continuing the slide to Cheesehead perdition.
 
2013-06-17 05:05:09 PM  
I was married to a goat one time.  The sex was fantastic but we just kept butting heads over everything else.
 
2013-06-17 05:05:20 PM  

Janusdog: blatz514: CrazyCracka420: Oh it happened in Wisconsin? Color me surprised...

farking 'sconi's

Sorta surprised being in Waukesha.   Now, anywhere North and West of Green Bay...

Thanks, Walker.

Continuing the slide to Cheesehead perdition.


How does it feel being cyan 5?  I can change the color.
 
2013-06-17 05:07:59 PM  
Ah, Waukesha.  If you ain't putting us in the national spotlight with Scott Walker and Paul Ryan, you're doing it by f*cking goats.
 
2013-06-17 05:16:52 PM  

blatz514: Janusdog: blatz514: CrazyCracka420: Oh it happened in Wisconsin? Color me surprised...

farking 'sconi's

Sorta surprised being in Waukesha.   Now, anywhere North and West of Green Bay...

Thanks, Walker.

Continuing the slide to Cheesehead perdition.

How does it feel being cyan 5?  I can change the color.


Why not 4?  I was already using cyan 4 for Janusdog.
 
2013-06-17 05:24:03 PM  

ciberido: blatz514: Janusdog: blatz514: CrazyCracka420: Oh it happened in Wisconsin? Color me surprised...

farking 'sconi's

Sorta surprised being in Waukesha.   Now, anywhere North and West of Green Bay...

Thanks, Walker.

Continuing the slide to Cheesehead perdition.

How does it feel being cyan 5?  I can change the color.

Why not 4?  I was already using cyan 4 for Janusdog.


Done.
 
2013-06-17 05:29:43 PM  
www.theblindcard.comSurfing Goat Dairy, Maui
 
2013-06-17 05:36:02 PM  
Was it the Goat from the Adam Sandler album?
 
2013-06-17 06:52:31 PM  

iheartscotch: show me: "...but you fark ONE sheep..."

You become a congressperson?


GDit, chores keep me from getting here earlier and posting things like this.

/good on ya, iheartscotch
 
2013-06-17 07:53:39 PM  
Hope the kids were spared from seeing this...
 
2013-06-18 02:51:31 AM  
Waukesha is Tea Party central. Judging from the letters its fine citizens write to the local papers, I'm pretty sure he thought he was making a devastatingly witty and insightful comment about gay marriage.
 
2013-06-18 03:28:20 AM  
I'm neither a fig nor a fig pluckers' son, but I'll pluck figs 'till the fig pluckers come.
 
2013-06-18 12:49:46 PM  

Prey4reign: Enough already with all the "freedom to goat and sheep fark" palaver.  How about us guys who are into wolverine love?  We're a hardy lot and ready to protect our constitutional rights!


cdn.crushable.com

Yes, please.
 
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