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("Score!")   10 things to never, ever say during sex. Farkers, we can do better than this list   (mydailymoment.com) divider line 397
    More: Amusing, Radial shaft seal  
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21078 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Jun 2013 at 7:41 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-06-17 12:22:44 AM
"Can you move? I can't see the TV."
 
2013-06-17 12:31:29 AM
Your sister's much better at this.
 
2013-06-17 12:52:47 AM
"you don't mind if my weird cousin watches, do you?"
 
2013-06-17 01:29:34 AM
That'll do, pig.
You don't sweat much for a fat girl.
Wow, this isn't at all like prison sex.
That isn't how my mom does it.
 
2013-06-17 02:48:07 AM
Is it in?
 
2013-06-17 02:54:50 AM
"hello? ... nothing much"
 
2013-06-17 03:11:34 AM
woo yeah that was good. BTW I have herpes .
 
2013-06-17 04:38:33 AM
"Is it supposed to bleed like that?"

"(*sniff*) Uh... when did you bathe last?"

"What is that I feel up inside there?"

"Oh sh*it! I forgot to refill my Valtrex™ prescription..."

"That was just great. My wife won't let me do that to her. She's always so worried about getting infections."
 
2013-06-17 04:45:15 AM
"Wow... Why do you let me do that to you?"

"I want to try something I saw in /b/ the other day..."
 
2013-06-17 07:01:41 AM

doglover: Your sister's much better at this.


"My sister is much better at this"
 
2013-06-17 07:16:33 AM

slayer199: doglover: Your sister's much better at this.

"My sister is much better at this"


You should talk to my mom. She could really give you some pointers.
 
2013-06-17 07:22:07 AM
Time to bring in the gimp.

By the way, we're on Tinychat.

So... how much?

Eh... you're probably in the top 200.
 
2013-06-17 07:24:21 AM
How's my penis on the attractivece scale?

Just ignore the sores.

Hey, I'm not kicking the dog out. Let's give her a show.
 
2013-06-17 07:25:28 AM
"You appear to be leaking."
 
2013-06-17 07:29:46 AM

sithon: woo yeah that was good. BTW I have herpes .


Only if you say, "Bee Tee Dubs, I gots the Herp."
 
2013-06-17 07:30:39 AM
"That was the best 34 seconds of my life!"
 
2013-06-17 07:32:32 AM
You want me to put my pee pee where?
 
2013-06-17 07:33:04 AM
CHEESE TOUCH!
 
2013-06-17 07:38:37 AM
Beige. The ceiling should definitely be painted beige.
 
2013-06-17 07:43:23 AM
You got the ass of a ten year old boy.
 
2013-06-17 07:43:31 AM
FOR THE HORDE!!
 
2013-06-17 07:43:33 AM
I haven't been farked like that since Jr. High school.
 
2013-06-17 07:44:15 AM
Does it always smell like this?
 
2013-06-17 07:45:18 AM
Now will you give me an A on my test
 
2013-06-17 07:46:04 AM
Stop laughing!
 
2013-06-17 07:46:23 AM
You know, they make medicine for that.
 
2013-06-17 07:47:10 AM
Pull my finger.
 
2013-06-17 07:47:30 AM
Don't tell my boyfriend. When a guy hears this, it's a huge cue to slam on the brakes. One, they're violating man code: they shouldn't be with someone else's girl. Two, what if the boyfriend is bigger than him? What if he's a real tough guy with anger issues?

i2.ytimg.com
BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
 
2013-06-17 07:47:50 AM
I want to have your next abortion.
 
2013-06-17 07:48:27 AM
Wow, you're almost as good as your best friend/sister/mum/dad!
 
2013-06-17 07:48:34 AM
"Thank you. Thankyouthankyouthankyou. Thank. You."

/that website looks like something from 1997
 
2013-06-17 07:49:11 AM
"SLAAAAAAYERRRRRR!!!"
 
2013-06-17 07:49:18 AM
"Do you smell something?"
 
2013-06-17 07:49:22 AM
Well, I'd say that thanking your partner afterward can be a good move, especially if you were doing some experimenting.

As to the topic at hand, my brother once heard a guy in the neighboring apartment sing the Michigan fight song after finishing.  I imagine that takes some luck to pull off.

/Hail to the victors...
 
2013-06-17 07:50:04 AM
I summon thee, O dark Lord Satan!
 
2013-06-17 07:50:49 AM
Next time let's take a shower before we do this kind of thing.
 
2013-06-17 07:50:50 AM
"Oops"

Always a bad thing to hear, no matter the situation.
 
2013-06-17 07:51:13 AM
"It looks just like a penis...but smaller."


"Does that come in an adult size?"


Conversely: "You're not sticking that huge thing in ME!"
 
2013-06-17 07:51:19 AM
I was dating this dude a while back that hadn't had sex in years... Four minutes into it, he climaxes while screaming "GOD, I SUCK!!!"

Kinda harshed the vibe.
 
2013-06-17 07:52:28 AM
"NO! Don't turn on the lights!"
 
2013-06-17 07:52:29 AM

State_College_Arsonist: Well, I'd say that thanking your partner afterward can be a good move, especially if you were doing some experimenting.

As to the topic at hand, my brother once heard a guy in the neighboring apartment sing the Michigan fight song after finishing.  I imagine that takes some luck to pull off.

/Hail to the victors...


...you forgot to mention that you live next door to your brother.
Thank you!

/I never take off that Michigan sweatshirt I stole from your laundry basket
 
2013-06-17 07:52:38 AM
Wow, you really do look like your mother.
 
2013-06-17 07:52:46 AM
"Have you heard the good news about Jesus?"

"See, I told you, doesn't hurt at all. Just like taking a big dump. Same advice my Dad gave me."

"That credit card should work just fine. I made a payment this morning. I don't know what's happening."

"What are you crying about? I'm the one who has to walk back to the car alone."
 
2013-06-17 07:52:54 AM

Incorrigible Astronaut: Time to bring in the gimp.

By the way, we're on Tinychat.

So... how much?

Eh... you're probably in the top 200.


I jokingly said "so do I pay you now?" To a girl once in college. Hot sorority sister who thought it was pretty damn funny and we kept hooking up the next two months.
 
2013-06-17 07:53:11 AM
why does it taste like that?
 
2013-06-17 07:53:50 AM
"Oh, Lawd! You gwinna be mah babby daddy now!"
 
2013-06-17 07:53:52 AM
"DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA"
 
2013-06-17 07:54:07 AM
Dutch oven time!
 
2013-06-17 07:54:23 AM
...you mean the panties your mother laid out for you?
 
2013-06-17 07:54:46 AM
"Mr. Scruffles was just playing. He always swats at dangling things"
 
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