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(Christian Science Monitor)   India to send the last commercial telegram message on the planet on July 14. What should the last message say? (Voting Enabled)   (csmonitor.com) divider line 187
    More: PSA, Samuel F.B. Morse, wires, Human Rights Commission, Western Union  
•       •       •

3988 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Jun 2013 at 12:01 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



187 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2013-06-15 11:42:11 PM  
The vindaloo was not chicken, Sanjay.
 
2013-06-15 11:43:44 PM  
"What hath God wrought?"
 
2013-06-15 11:45:49 PM  
So long, and thanks for all the dits
 
2013-06-15 11:47:41 PM  
Please do the needful.
 
2013-06-15 11:47:54 PM  
Thank you, come again!
 
2013-06-15 11:48:15 PM  
... ..- -.-. -.- / -- -.-- / -- --- - .... . .-. ..-. ..- -.-. -.- .. -. --. / -.-. --- -.-. -.-
 
2013-06-15 11:53:24 PM  

R.A.Danny: ... ..- -.-. -.- / -- -.-- / -- --- - .... . .-. ..-. ..- -.-. -.- .. -. --. / -.-. --- -.-. -.-


That's one way to bypass teh filter!
 
2013-06-15 11:53:45 PM  
Whatever it is it will be in better English than any of us Farkers use, that's for sure.
 
2013-06-15 11:55:20 PM  
'The treasure is buried under the giant T'
 
2013-06-15 11:56:27 PM  
So long and thanks for all the fish
 
2013-06-15 11:57:13 PM  
"Did you try rebooting the computer?"
 
2013-06-15 11:57:29 PM  
InB4Watson
 
2013-06-15 11:58:32 PM  
Dear Dot, It's been great, but I gotta dash.
 
2013-06-15 11:58:37 PM  
farm7.static.flickr.com

/an actual letter
 
2013-06-15 11:59:17 PM  
Your call is important to us.  Please hold the line.
 
2013-06-16 12:00:08 AM  
Could you repeat that, please?
 
2013-06-16 12:01:35 AM  

Sid_6.7: InB4Watson


I think you're referring to the first words spoken on a telephone.
The first telegram message was sent by Morse was  "What hath God wrought?"
 
2013-06-16 12:03:26 AM  
"Thank you for calling USA Prime Credit My name Peggy How can I help?"
 
2013-06-16 12:04:18 AM  
Drink your Ovaltine
 
2013-06-16 12:05:10 AM  
"A/S/L?"
 
2013-06-16 12:06:40 AM  
The ending to the Sopranos was good but it
 
2013-06-16 12:07:22 AM  
Hey baby, wanna fark?
 
2013-06-16 12:08:29 AM  
Stop. Stop.
 
2013-06-16 12:08:39 AM  
Can you hear me now?
 
2013-06-16 12:08:54 AM  
"Planning to send a telegram on July 15? STOP"
 
2013-06-16 12:12:47 AM  
He loved it.
 
2013-06-16 12:13:25 AM  
Okay poop is coming out
 
2013-06-16 12:13:35 AM  
Merry Christmas
 
2013-06-16 12:14:58 AM  
To send radio grams at no charge, please contact the American Radio Relay League.
 
2013-06-16 12:15:06 AM  
and so it ends not with a bang but with a whimper
 
2013-06-16 12:15:25 AM  
Thank you.  Come again!
 
2013-06-16 12:16:05 AM  
We have signal.
 
2013-06-16 12:16:13 AM  

Gyrfalcon: "Thank you for calling USA Prime Credit My name Peggy How can I help?"


You read my mind!
 
2013-06-16 12:18:10 AM  
This is the last commercial telegram ever, I am thinking.
 
2013-06-16 12:18:44 AM  

BlackMtnMan: Can you hear me now?


Damn you!
 
2013-06-16 12:19:06 AM  
.- .-.. .-.. / -.-- --- ..- .-. / -... .- ... . / .- .-. . / -... . .-.. --- -. --. / - --- / ..- ...
 
2013-06-16 12:19:10 AM  

TommyymmoT: Sid_6.7: InB4Watson

I think you're referring to the first words spoken on a telephone.
The first telegram message was sent by Morse was  "What hath God wrought?"


*sigh*

No sh*t.

It was tangentially related, and had not yet been referred to in the thread.
 
Oak
2013-06-16 12:22:42 AM  

TommyymmoT: "What hath God wrought?"


- .... .. ...
 
2013-06-16 12:24:08 AM  

TommyymmoT: "What hath God wrought?"


.-- .... .- - / .... .- - .... / --. --- -.. / .-- .-. --- ..- --. .... - ..--..
 
2013-06-16 12:25:59 AM  
Please revert back via telegram as soon as you get this
 
2013-06-16 12:26:11 AM  
I signed up for a lawncare service the other way, and buried in the contract, I am only allowed to cancel my service by letter or by telegram.

/Might explain why they are ignoring all my heliograph messages
 
2013-06-16 12:26:24 AM  
This whole place smells like shiat. I'm leaving.
 
2013-06-16 12:26:26 AM  
Hello, my name is "Jeff". How can I help you?
 
2013-06-16 12:26:34 AM  
We will do the needful.
 
2013-06-16 12:26:36 AM  

Sid_6.7: TommyymmoT: Sid_6.7: InB4Watson

I think you're referring to the first words spoken on a telephone.
The first telegram message was sent by Morse was  "What hath God wrought?"

*sigh*

No sh*t.

It was tangentially related, and had not yet been referred to in the thread.


SARCHASM : A large void created between the person the makes a joke and the person that don't get it.

/I git that a lot
 
2013-06-16 12:26:56 AM  
Dear Marty,

If my calculations are correct, you will receive this letter immediately after you saw the DeLorean struck by lightning. First, let me assure you that I am alive and well. I've been living happily these past eight months in the year 1885. The lightning bolt that hit the DeLorean caused a gigawatt overload which scrambled the time circuits, activated the flux capacitor, and sent me back to 1885. The overload shorted out the time circuits and destroyed the flying circuits. Unfortunately, the car will never fly again.

I set myself up as a blacksmith as a front while I attempted to repair the damage to the time circuits. Unfortunately, this proved impossible because suitable replacement parts will not be invented until 1947. However, I've gotten quite adept at shoeing horses and fixing wagons.

I have buried the DeLorean in the abandoned Delgado Mine, adjacent to the Old Boot Hill Cemetery, as shown on the enclosed map. Hopefully, it should remain undisturbed and preserved until you uncover it in 1955. Inside you will find repair instructions. My 1955 counterpart should have no problem repairing it so that you can drive it back to the future. Once you have returned to 1985, destroy the time machine.

Do not, I repeat, do not attempt to come back here to get me. I am perfectly happy living in the fresh air and the wide-open spaces, and I fear that unnecessary time travel only risks further disruption of the space-time continuum. And please take care of Einstein for me. I know that you will give him a good home. Remember to walk him twice a day, and that he only likes canned dog food. These are my wishes; please respect them and follow them.

And so Marty, I now say farewell and wish you Godspeed. You've been a good, kind, and loyal friend to me. You've made a real difference in my life. I will always treasure our relationship and think on you with fond memories, warm feelings, and a special place in my heart.

Your friend in time,

"Doc" Emmett L. Brown.

September 1, 1885.

 
2013-06-16 12:26:57 AM  
Take a penny. Leave a penny.
 
2013-06-16 12:27:38 AM  
#YOLO
 
2013-06-16 12:27:54 AM  
Prime, Choice, Select, Standard, Commercial, Utility, Cutter, Canner.
 
2013-06-16 12:28:39 AM  
-.. ..- -.- . / ... ..- -.-. -.- ... / ... - --- .--.
 
TWX
2013-06-16 12:28:47 AM  
"This has been an RKO Radio Picture"
 
2013-06-16 12:30:01 AM  
Mr Tripathi

Death should occur within 40 days Stop
No cheating Stop
 
2013-06-16 12:30:16 AM  
"I was the original click"
"The fastest ways to get news around; telephone, telegram and tell a lady." (Old sexist joke has to be retired with the telegram).
"That's all folks!"


Hmm...what else...
 
2013-06-16 12:32:27 AM  
Vegeta whats his power level?
 
2013-06-16 12:33:56 AM  
The music is reversible - but time is not.

Turn back...  turn back...turn back... turn back!
 
2013-06-16 12:36:51 AM  
cdn.stripersonline.com
 
2013-06-16 12:37:16 AM  
-.---.----..-.---.----.. -.---.----.. -.---.----..
 
2013-06-16 12:39:22 AM  
Came for jackfruit, left satisfied.  (Also came for commentary re ARRL message service, also left satisfied.)
 
2013-06-16 12:39:32 AM  
Help me, Obi wan. You're my only hope?
 
2013-06-16 12:40:03 AM  
"Happy Bastille Day!"
 
2013-06-16 12:40:42 AM  
BREAK IT DOWN. STOP. HAMMER TIME.
 
2013-06-16 12:40:59 AM  
Oh PS, don't let him ever [STOP]
 
2013-06-16 12:40:59 AM  
We will never stop taking your jorbs.
 
2013-06-16 12:41:12 AM  
So long, and thanks for all the clicks.
 
2013-06-16 12:41:20 AM  
God hath obsoleted this and wrought more.
 
2013-06-16 12:41:45 AM  

TommyymmoT: "What hath God wrought?"


Strangely... the first thing I thought of as well.

Book ends...if you will.
 
2013-06-16 12:42:35 AM  
Wait for it.......
 
2013-06-16 12:43:44 AM  
Two Jews walk into a bar.......
 
2013-06-16 12:44:26 AM  
Hee-haw and Merry Christmas!
 
2013-06-16 12:45:00 AM  
"....... so I said 'Telegram?  I hardly know my gramma.'" ! ! ! ! !
 
2013-06-16 12:45:45 AM  
"All these worlds are yours except Europa.  Attempt no landings there."
 
2013-06-16 12:48:29 AM  
"As of July 15, our new email address will be INDIA[nospam-﹫-backwards]L­OA*CO­M"
 
2013-06-16 12:49:52 AM  
Stop
 
2013-06-16 12:51:06 AM  

Savage Belief: This is the last commercial telegram ever, I am thinking.


...except for Telegram service still in operation in South America, Europe, and probably parts of Africa.

/Sorry to screw up the theme, but the story is wrong.
 
2013-06-16 12:51:29 AM  
THere is this new thing STOP
It's called "e-mail" STOP
Thinking of sending more telegrams? STOP
 
2013-06-16 12:52:06 AM  
don't stop
stop
lol stop
stop
no srsly stop
stop
ok  we'll stop
stop
but we are taking this stapler
stop



/said stop more than once must like stop
 
2013-06-16 12:52:59 AM  
 
2013-06-16 12:54:50 AM  
Send birth control. Stop
 
2013-06-16 12:55:37 AM  
STOP
STOP STOP
STOP
 
2013-06-16 12:55:41 AM  
Dots all folks! Now I gotta dash!
 
2013-06-16 12:56:03 AM  
That's all folks.
 
2013-06-16 12:59:04 AM  
STOP. STOP.
 
2013-06-16 01:01:20 AM  

TommyymmoT: "What hath God wrought?"


Through in two.
 
2013-06-16 01:02:07 AM  
Video killed the radio star.
 
2013-06-16 01:04:32 AM  
"Mr. Simpson [stop] Your calls and letters are becoming nuisance [stop] If you do not cease I will be forced to pursue legal action. [stop] Signed: Boris Karloff, Hollywood, California."
 
2013-06-16 01:06:09 AM  
'Here may be found the last words of Joseph of Arimathea. He who is valiant and pure of spirit may find the Holy Grail in the Castle of aaarrrrggh'.
 
2013-06-16 01:09:30 AM  
Ummm, how is this the last commercial telegram ever?

I don't know about India, but there are a lot of other telegram companies out there, including  http://www.telegrams.ca/ in Canada.
 
2013-06-16 01:11:04 AM  
What hath God...oh, never mind.
 
2013-06-16 01:11:16 AM  
Never gonna give you up, <STOP>
Never gonna let you down <STOP>
Never gonna run around and desert you <STOP>
Never gonna make you cry, <STOP>
Never gonna say goodbye <STOP>
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you <STOP>
 
2013-06-16 01:14:47 AM  
Attack begins at exactly 0500. The filthy American infidels are going down like a hookers Hijab. Do not worry about NSA interception of message.
 
2013-06-16 01:16:05 AM  
Peccavi


/obscure?
 
2013-06-16 01:16:37 AM  
Send onions asap...stop
Belts are empty... stop
 
2013-06-16 01:20:07 AM  
BIT? address in profile.
 
2013-06-16 01:21:52 AM  

Aulus: Peccavi


/obscure?


I have Sindh.

/nothing is obscure
 
2013-06-16 01:23:03 AM  
Bravo!
 
2013-06-16 01:24:24 AM  
"We just received another telegram. Station G-O-N-G. Stop. Your program is coming in great. Stop. Think it's fine. Stop. Like to hear your amateurs. Stop. They're all very funny. Stop. Keep up the good work. Stop! Good luck. Stop! The Gang. STOP!"

/obscure?
/nothing on Fark is obscure
 
2013-06-16 01:27:35 AM  
Dear kind sir,

I am the attorney for the estate of the late Mrs. Wilmera Ogbu, who tragically died in a car accident approximately 10 km west of Lagos.....
 
2013-06-16 01:30:00 AM  
YOUR RICH UNCLE DIED AND LEFT YOU ALL HIS M
 
2013-06-16 01:34:21 AM  
Doesn't really matter what is sent. The NSA will just intercept it anyway.
 
2013-06-16 01:34:28 AM  
You are Lisa Simpson.
 
2013-06-16 01:35:48 AM  
"Yes, yes, I know the procedure for armed robbery. I work in a convenience store, you know."
 
2013-06-16 01:40:42 AM  
But it is the remaining 35 percent that Ram worries about. A number of telegrams are from runaway couples who marry secretly because their parents wouldn't let them marry in the wrong caste, class, or religion.  "They inform their parents that they are married, and fearing violence from the family, inform the police and the National Human Rights Commission," he said.

If you have to announce your marriage to the cops and the human rights commission at the same time you tell your folks you're DOING IT WRONG!

.....WTF INDIA?
 
2013-06-16 01:41:28 AM  
"After forcing Bhupendra to watch American action movies for over 22 hours, he finally gave up the location of the buried 100B rupees! FINALLY what we have been seeking all these years. Will send GPS coordinates in my next telegram."
 
2013-06-16 01:43:36 AM  
We apologise for the inconvenience
 
2013-06-16 01:46:26 AM  
I received your confirmation of the planned attack at 0900 on August 4.  Will attack if and only if you do.
 
2013-06-16 01:47:32 AM  
.... - - .--. ---... -..-. -..-. - .. -. -.-- ..- .-. .-.. .-.-.- -.-. --- -- -..-. -.-- -... ---.. -... ..- .--- --.-
 
2013-06-16 01:49:36 AM  
"Dammit, Jim, I'm a customer support representative not a running gag. The accent is also fake"
 
2013-06-16 01:49:54 AM  

Allen262: .... - - .--. ---... -..-. -..-. - .. -. -.-- ..- .-. .-.. .-.-.- -.-. --- -- -..-. -.-- -... ---.. -... ..- .--- --.-


Well tried.

/thank god for click to play
 
2013-06-16 01:50:48 AM  

JK8Fan: Never gonna give you up, <STOP>
Never gonna let you down <STOP>
Never gonna run around and desert you <STOP>
Never gonna make you cry, <STOP>
Never gonna say goodbye <STOP>
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you <STOP>


This.
 
2013-06-16 01:51:20 AM  
markie_farkie: vindaloo

Why are you speaking portugese language for a portugese dish ? This is about India.
 
2013-06-16 01:52:14 AM  
Your lips are like lightning girls melt in the heat.  STOP.
 
2013-06-16 01:52:40 AM  
The era now ends.  All things must STOP

/I admit it, I misted up a bit when the last Morse repeater sent GOODBYE
 
2013-06-16 01:57:36 AM  

gweilo8888: Allen262: .... - - .--. ---... -..-. -..-. - .. -. -.-- ..- .-. .-.. .-.-.- -.-. --- -- -..-. -.-- -... ---.. -... ..- .--- --.-

Well tried.

/thank god for click to play


.-- . .----. .-. . / -. --- / ... - .-. .- -. --. . .-. ... / - --- / .-.. --- ...- . / -.-- --- ..- / -.- -. --- .-- / - .... . / .-. ..- .-.. . ... / .- -. -.. / ... --- / -.. --- / .. / .- / ..-. ..- .-.. .-.. / -.-. --- -- -- .. - -- . -. - .----. ... / .-- .... .- - / .. .----. -- / - .... .. -. -.- .. -. --. / --- ..-. / -.-- --- ..- / .-- --- ..- .-.. -.. -. .----. - / --. . - / - .... .. ... / ..-. .-. --- -- / .- -. -.-- / --- - .... . .-. / --. ..- -.-- / .. / .--- ..- ... - / .-- .- -. -. .- / - . .-.. .-.. / -.-- --- ..- / .... --- .-- / .. .----. -- / ..-. . . .-.. .. -. --. / --. --- - - .- / -- .- -.- . / -.-- --- ..- / ..- -. -.. . .-. ... - .- -. -.. / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / --. .. ...- . / -.-- --- ..- / ..- .--. / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / .-.. . - / -.-- --- ..- / -.. --- .-- -. / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / .-. ..- -. / .- .-. --- ..- -. -.. / .- -. -.. / -.. . ... . .-. - / -.-- --- ..- / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / -- .- -.- . / -.-- --- ..- / -.-. .-. -.-- / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / ... .- -.-- / --. --- --- -.. -... -.-- . / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / - . .-.. .-.. / .- / .-.. .. . / .- -. -.. / .... ..- .-. - / -.-- --- ..- / .-- . .----. ...- . / -.- -. --- .-- -. / . .- -.-. .... / --- - .... . .-. / ..-. --- .-. / ... --- / .-.. --- -. --. / -.-- --- ..- .-. / .... . .- .-. - .----. ... / -... . . -. / .- -.-. .... .. -. --. --..-- / -... ..- - / -.-- --- ..- .----. .-. . / - --- --- / ... .... -.-- / - --- / ... .- -.-- / .. - / .. -. ... .. -.. . --..-- / .-- . / -... --- - .... / -.- -. --- .-- / .-- .... .- - .----. ... / -... . . -. / --. --- .. -. --. / --- -. / .-- . / -.- -. --- .-- / - .... . / --. .- -- . / .- -. -.. / .-- . .----. .-. . / --. --- -. -. .- / .--. .-.. .- -.-- / .. - / .- -. -.. / .. ..-. / -.-- --- ..- / .- ... -.- / -- . / .... --- .-- / .. .----. -- / ..-. . . .-.. .. -. --. / -.. --- -. .----. - / - . .-.. .-.. / -- . / -.-- --- ..- .----. .-. . / - --- --- / -... .-.. .. -. -.. / - --- / ... . . / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / --. .. ...- . / -.-- --- ..- / ..- .--. / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / .-.. . - / -.-- --- ..- / -.. --- .-- -. / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / .-. ..- -. / .- .-. --- ..- -. -.. / .- -. -.. / -.. . ... . .-. - / -.-- --- ..- / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / -- .- -.- . / -.-- --- ..- / -.-. .-. -.-- / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / ... .- -.-- / --. --- --- -.. -... -.-- . / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / - . .-.. .-.. / .- / .-.. .. . / .- -. -.. / .... ..- .-. - / -.-- --- ..- / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / --. .. ...- . / -.-- --- ..- / ..- .--. / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / .-.. . - / -.-- --- ..- / -.. --- .-- -. / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / .-. ..- -. / .- .-. --- ..- -. -.. / .- -. -.. / -.. . ... . .-. - / -.-- --- ..- / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / -- .- -.- . / -.-- --- ..- / -.-. .-. -.-- / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / ... .- -.-- / --. --- --- -.. -... -.-- . / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / - . .-.. .-.. / .- / .-.. .. . / .- -. -.. / .... ..- .-. - / -.-- --- ..- / -.--.- --- --- .... --..-- / --. .. ...- . / -.-- --- ..- / ..- .--. -.--.- / -.--.- --- --- .... --..-- / --. .. ...- . / -.-- --- ..- / ..- .--. -.--.- / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / --. .. ...- . --..-- / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / --. .. ...- . / -.--.- --. .. ...- . / -.-- --- ..- / ..- .--. -.--.- / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / --. .. ...- . --..-- / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / --. .. ...- . / -.--.- --. .. ...- . / -.-- --- ..- / ..- .--. -.--.- / .-- . .----. ...- . / -.- -. --- .-- -. / . .- -.-. .... / --- - .... . .-. / ..-. --- .-. / ... --- / .-.. --- -. --. / -.-- --- ..- .-. / .... . .- .-. - .----. ... / -... . . -. / .- -.-. .... .. -. --. --..-- / -... ..- - / -.-- --- ..- .----. .-. . / - --- --- / ... .... -.-- / - --- / ... .- -.-- / .. - / .. -. ... .. -.. . --..-- / .-- . / -... --- - .... / -.- -. --- .-- / .-- .... .- - .----. ... / -... . . -. / --. --- .. -. --. / --- -. / .-- . / -.- -. --- .-- / - .... . / --. .- -- . / .- -. -.. / .-- . .----. .-. . / --. --- -. -. .- / .--. .-.. .- -.-- / .. - / .. / .--- ..- ... - / .-- .- -. -. .- / - . .-.. .-.. / -.-- --- ..- / .... --- .-- / .. .----. -- / ..-. . . .-.. .. -. --. / --. --- - - .- / -- .- -.- . / -.-- --- ..- / ..- -. -.. . .-. ... - .- -. -.. / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / --. .. ...- . / -.-- --- ..- / ..- .--. / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / .-.. . - / -.-- --- ..- / -.. --- .-- -. / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / .-. ..- -. / .- .-. --- ..- -. -.. / .- -. -.. / -.. . ... . .-. - / -.-- --- ..- / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / -- .- -.- . / -.-- --- ..- / -.-. .-. -.-- / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / ... .- -.-- / --. --- --- -.. -... -.-- . / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / - . .-.. .-.. / .- / .-.. .. . / .- -. -.. / .... ..- .-. - / -.-- --- ..- / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / --. .. ...- . / -.-- --- ..- / ..- .--. / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / .-.. . - / -.-- --- ..- / -.. --- .-- -. / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / .-. ..- -. / .- .-. --- ..- -. -.. / .- -. -.. / -.. . ... . .-. - / -.-- --- ..- / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / -- .- -.- . / -.-- --- ..- / -.-. .-. -.-- / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / ... .- -.-- / --. --- --- -.. -... -.-- . / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / - . .-.. .-.. / .- / .-.. .. . / .- -. -.. / .... ..- .-. - / -.-- --- ..- / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / --. .. ...- . / -.-- --- ..- / ..- .--. / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / .-.. . - / -.-- --- ..- / -.. --- .-- -. / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / .-. ..- -. / .- .-. --- ..- -. -.. / .- -. -.. / -.. . ... . .-. - / -.-- --- ..- / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / -- .- -.- . / -.-- --- ..- / -.-. .-. -.-- / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / ... .- -.-- / --. --- --- -.. -... -.-- . / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / - . .-.. .-.. / .- / .-.. .. . / .- -. -.. / .... ..- .-. - / -.-- --- ..-
 
2013-06-16 02:02:30 AM  

Captain Moron: Sid_6.7: TommyymmoT: Sid_6.7: InB4Watson

I think you're referring to the first words spoken on a telephone.
The first telegram message was sent by Morse was  "What hath God wrought?"

*sigh*

No sh*t.

It was tangentially related, and had not yet been referred to in the thread.

SARCHASM : A large void created between the person the makes a joke and the person that don't get it.

/I git that a lot


So I've had a few beers.
At least I wasn't rude in my response, because in a trivia game a few years ago, somebody answered the telegraph question with "Watson come here I want to see you".
 
2013-06-16 02:13:05 AM  
I still think Morse code has value.
Yeah, I'm 10 beers in, but I remember a downed American Flyer being held by North Vietnam that was forced to make a statement on film confessing to war crimes, and denouncing America's involvement.

While he was making the statement that was going to be shown on U.S. television, he blinked his eyes in Morse code, to say he was being tortured.

Hey, if it weren't for Morse code, we would have never beat the alien invaders in the movie "Independence Day".
 
2013-06-16 02:17:33 AM  
STAHP
 
2013-06-16 02:21:59 AM  
This communication format is so steampunk it shiats gears.
 
2013-06-16 02:24:39 AM  
Tag. Your it.
 
2013-06-16 02:41:48 AM  
The electronic world began with these dots and dashes. The world was changed by those and became a community more so by those sounds and electronic impulses than by any other technology. We have improved things beyond those noises heard around the world in ways I bet no one then could have imagined. So rest. Job well done..


Full Stop
 
2013-06-16 02:50:43 AM  
You are great. One hundred thousand pesos. If you come to Santa Poco. Put on show. Stop the infamous El Guapo.
 
2013-06-16 02:50:49 AM  
--. .. ...- . / .... .. -- / - .... . / ... . -.. .- --. .. ...- .
 
2013-06-16 03:06:15 AM  

Allen262: .-- . .----. .-. . / -. --- / ... - .-. .- -. --. . .-. ... / - --- / .-.. --- ...- . / -.-- --- ..- / -.- -. --- .-- / - .... . / .-. ..- .-.. . ... / .- -. -.. / ... --- / -.. --- / .. / .- / ..-. ..- .-.. .-.. / -.-. --- -- -- .. - -- . -. - .----. ... / .-- .... .- - / .. .----. -- / - .... .. -. -.- .. -. --. / --- ..-. / -.-- --- ..- / .-- --- ..- .-.. -.. -. .----. - / --. . - / - .... .. ... / ..-. .-. --- -- / .- -. -.-- / --- - .... . .-. / --. ..- -.-- / .. / .--- ..- ... - / .-- .- -. -. .- / - . .-.. .-.. / -.-- --- ..- / .... --- .-- / .. .----. -- / ..-. . . .-.. .. -. --. / --. --- - - .- / -- .- -.- . / -.-- --- ..- / ..- -. -.. . .-. ... - .- -. -.. / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / --. .. ...- . / -.-- --- ..- / ..- .--. / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / .-.. . - / -.-- --- ..- / -.. --- .-- -. / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / .-. ..- -. / .- .-. --- ..- -. -.. / .- -. -.. / -.. . ... . .-. - / -.-- --- ..- / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / -- .- -.- . / -.-- --- ..- / -.-. .-. -.-- / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / ... .- -.-- / --. --- --- -.. -... -.-- . / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / - . .-.. .-.. / .- / .-.. .. . / .- -. -.. / .... ..- .-. - / -.-- --- ..- / .-- . .----. ...- . / -.- -. --- .-- -. / . .- -.-. .... / --- - .... . .-. / ..-. --- .-. / ... --- / .-.. --- -. --. / -.-- --- ..- .-. / .... . .- .-. - .----. ... / -... . . -. / .- -.-. .... .. -. --. --..-- / -... ..- - / -.-- --- ..- .----. .-. . / - --- --- / ... .... -.-- / - --- / ... .- -.-- / .. - / .. -. ... .. -.. . --..-- / .-- . / -... --- - .... / -.- -. --- .-- / .-- .... .- - .----. ... / -... . . -. / --. --- .. -. --. / --- -. / .-- . / -.- -. --- .-- / - .... . / --. .- -- . / .- -. -.. / .-- . .----. .-. . / --. --- -. -. .- / .--. .-.. .- -.-- / .. - / .- -. -.. / .. ..-. / -.-- --- ..- / .- ... -.- / -- . / .... --- .-- / .. .----. -- / ..-. . . .-.. .. -. --. / -.. --- -. .----. - / - . .-.. .-.. / -- . / -.-- --- ..- .----. .-. ...


Yeah, I know better to even try that. Let me guess. Lyrics?
 
2013-06-16 03:50:58 AM  
My daddy is coming home on July 14th.
My birthday is July 14th.
I'm gonna see my daddy for the first time ever on July 14th.
Make a move, and the bunny gets it.
 
2013-06-16 04:34:17 AM  
So long and thanks for all the curries.
 
2013-06-16 04:35:04 AM  
THIS JUST IN STOP NEW FANGLED TELEGRAPH SERVICE MEETS EARLY DEMISE STOP SURVIVED BY POSTAL SERVICE STOP
 
2013-06-16 05:06:22 AM  
FTFA It's one of about 5,000 such missives still being sent every day by telegram ...  At their peak in 1985, 60 million telegrams were being sent and received a year in India from 45,000 offices. Today, only 75 offices exist, though they are located in each of India's 671 districts through franchises. And an industry that once employed 12,500 people, today has only 998 workers.

So, at their peak it was 4,800 telegrams per employee and 3.6 employees per office. Now it's 5 telegrams per employees and 13 employees per office. Telegrams are down from 1300 per office per annum to 70.

FTFA "We were incurring losses of over $23 million a year because SMS and smartphones have rendered this service redundant the service is grossly overstaffed," Shamim Akhtar, general manager of BSNL's telegraph services, told the Monitor.

Fixed.
 
2013-06-16 05:09:42 AM  
"Mmmm, birdie numnums"?
 
2013-06-16 05:11:06 AM  
"I await your reply."
 
2013-06-16 05:30:37 AM  

R.A.Danny: ... ..- -.-. -.- / -- -.-- / -- --- - .... . .-. ..-. ..- -.-. -.- .. -. --. / -.-. --- -.-. -.-


Wow! Nice one!

/Knew that communications merit badge would come in handy some day.
 
GBB
2013-06-16 06:14:17 AM  
Dits, or GTFO
 
GBB
2013-06-16 06:18:15 AM  
"Knight to Rook 2.  Checkmate, motherfarker!"
 
2013-06-16 06:23:45 AM  
-- .-. .-.-.- / .-- .- - ... --- -. -....- -....- -.-. --- -- . / .... . .-. . -....- -....- .. / .-- .- -. - / - --- / ... . . / -.-- --- ..- .-.-.-
 
GBB
2013-06-16 06:26:15 AM  

Wookie_Jesus: don't stop
stop
lol stop
stop
no srsly stop
stop
ok  we'll stop
stop
but we are taking this stapler
stop


/said stop more than once must like stop


Don't stop, (don't stop) don't stop, the beat
I can't stop, (can't stop) can't stop the beat
I won't stop, (won't stop) won't stop the beat

partybyjake.com

And GO!
 
2013-06-16 06:33:44 AM  
NNNN
 
2013-06-16 06:44:14 AM  
 "All these worlds are yours except Europa. Attempt no landing there. Use them together. Use them in peace."
 
fdr
2013-06-16 06:54:39 AM  
Hasta la vista, baby,
 
2013-06-16 07:50:30 AM  
This message will self-destruct in
 
2013-06-16 07:55:03 AM  
"What hath Jobs wrought?"
 
2013-06-16 08:20:57 AM  
Death is but a doorway, time is but a window, I'll be back.
 
2013-06-16 08:24:54 AM  
Blow me!
 
2013-06-16 08:44:27 AM  
Tweet me!
 
2013-06-16 08:53:09 AM  
DUKE SUCKS YOU STUPID PAKI
 
2013-06-16 09:02:10 AM  
The picture of the cat was funny
LOL
 
2013-06-16 09:12:23 AM  
"What hath Dog wrought"?
 
2013-06-16 09:22:41 AM  
Knock Knock!
 
2013-06-16 09:32:39 AM  

TWX: "This has been an RKO Radio Picture"


what the fark is a radio picture?
/
 
2013-06-16 09:43:06 AM  

Notabunny: So long and thanks for all the fish


Really 10 posts. I am disappoint.
 
2013-06-16 09:49:56 AM  
Avoid the sausages. Lay off the ham.
 
2013-06-16 09:59:51 AM  
.-.. .- ... -   .--. --- ... -

/obvious?
 
2013-06-16 10:15:36 AM  
Copy the shortest telegram: "?"
 
TWX
2013-06-16 10:52:38 AM  

bigbobowski: TWX: "This has been an RKO Radio Picture"

what the fark is a radio picture?
/


It's a picture of a radio!
 
2013-06-16 10:57:43 AM  
"Hitler did nothing wrong."
 
2013-06-16 10:59:29 AM  
Goodbye, World!
 
2013-06-16 11:05:26 AM  
Echos of past events nudge the tiller on my present course,
I await its reflection in the future.
                                   --Scorcher
 
2013-06-16 11:07:48 AM  

WelldeadLink: Copy the shortest telegram: "?"


"!"
 
2013-06-16 11:32:28 AM  
Have you tried pushing the power button?
 
2013-06-16 11:44:31 AM  
Sent from my iPhone
 
2013-06-16 11:50:00 AM  
Hello, my name is ... Steve. How may I assist you today?
 
2013-06-16 12:18:57 PM  
"How Old Cary Grant?"

/too obscure?
 
2013-06-16 12:36:12 PM  

Greystoke: YOUR RICH UNCLE DIED AND LEFT YOU ALL HIS M


Who's the dummy writing this show?
 
2013-06-16 12:38:31 PM  
I'm more amazed that you coule send a telegraph in the US up until 2006. I had figured that Western Union had abandoned telegraphs to focus on wire transfers long ago.
 
2013-06-16 12:45:13 PM  
"Done in one."
 
2013-06-16 12:58:07 PM  
.- .-.. .-..   -.-- --- ..- .-.   -... .- ... .   .- .-. .   -... . .-.. --- -. --.   - ---   ..- ... .-.-.- -.-- --- ..-   .--- ..- ... -   .-.. --- ... -   - .... .   --. .- -- . .-.-.-
 
2013-06-16 01:13:02 PM  
While we are waiting for your computer to reboot can I ask you who your wireless provider is?
 
2013-06-16 01:26:19 PM  

water00boy: "How Old Cary Grant?"



"Old Cary Grant fine. How you?"


/too obscure?


/ not on fark
 
2013-06-16 02:46:16 PM  
STOP WITH THE HAVINGS OF BABBIES STOP YOU RUNNING OUT OF SPACE STOP
 
2013-06-16 02:50:25 PM  
All Points Bullitin:  Be on the lookout for William H. Bonney, a.k.a.  William Henry McCarty, Jr., a.k.a. Billy the Kid.  Subject is armed and presumed extremely decrepit.  Stop.
 
2013-06-16 03:01:55 PM  
You are standing in an open field west of a white house, with a boarded front door.  There is small mailbox there.
 
2013-06-16 03:08:55 PM  
It should be sent to Deadwood.

CSB - when we were there years ago, they had a nasty storm that knocked out cell reception and all the ATMs between there and Lead were offline.
 
2013-06-16 03:22:08 PM  
Elf needs food. Badly.
 
2013-06-16 04:18:30 PM  
The only appropriate bookend to "What hath God wrought?":

OMG STOP
 
2013-06-16 04:20:05 PM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: So long, and thanks for all the dits


Dammit.  Thought I was all clever and unique, and it was covered in the third damn post.

/tiny fist
 
2013-06-16 04:56:28 PM  
CQD CQD SOS Titanic Position 41.44 N  50.24 W. Require immediate assistance. Come at once. We struck an iceberg. Sinking
 
2013-06-16 05:28:21 PM  
"Candygram for Mongo."
 
2013-06-16 05:31:43 PM  
I drank what?
 
2013-06-16 05:32:21 PM  
Khaaaaaan!!!!
 
2013-06-16 09:17:36 PM  
Dear sirs, I am Attorney Albetero of the Surgy Province and have been entrusted with distributing the estate of the late Crown Prince Trintoto in the amount of 1.67 Bil Euros...
 
2013-06-16 10:35:18 PM  
have you tried turning it off and on again?
 
2013-06-16 10:58:44 PM  
YOU ARE IN A MAZE OF TWISTY LITTLE PASSAGES ALL ALIKE.
 
2013-06-17 12:04:23 AM  
Video killed the radio star, and text messaging killed the telegraph.
 
2013-06-17 02:28:06 AM  

JK8Fan: Never gonna give you up, <STOP>
Never gonna let you down <STOP>
Never gonna run around and desert you <STOP>
Never gonna make you cry, <STOP>
Never gonna say goodbye <STOP>
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you <STOP>


Now that's funny
 
2013-06-17 08:03:40 AM  
God hath wrought nothing.

/has the sad I'm so late
 
2013-06-17 08:17:11 AM  
www.goldenpalace.com
 
2013-06-17 08:47:24 AM  
Happy birthday, wooden_badger.

/yes, it is
 
2013-06-17 10:04:08 AM  
Hello. My name is Kevin. How may I be to helping you?
 
2013-06-17 10:57:41 AM  
Will send payment by wire tomorrow STOP
 
2013-06-17 12:24:10 PM  
you break, you buy
 
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