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(C|Net)   NSA admits listening to U.S. phone calls without warrants   (news.cnet.com) divider line 62
    More: Obvious, NSA, United States, phone calls, FISA Amendments Act, Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act, Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court, Legal liability, Internet Archive  
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11310 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Jun 2013 at 9:41 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-06-15 09:45:22 PM
10 votes:
Hey, I got a few skids of paranoia, hyperbole and Nazi Germany metaphors on the 18 wheeler out front. Someone is going to have to sign for it before it gets unloaded on this thread.
2013-06-15 10:55:47 PM
9 votes:
CSB Time: I was a van driver for the Ragnar Relay Race in Niagara/Ontario this weekend and this was the logo we had taped to the side of our van:

i.imgur.com

The Border Patrol did not seem amused.
m00
2013-06-16 12:41:09 AM
4 votes:

Lsherm: What scares me is that Obama was told something AFTER he was elected that clearly changed his mind on this. What the fark is he told every day in his security briefing? Has to be some scary shiat.


I thought about this.

I think after he was elected, but before he took office. He had the "presidential handoff thing" with Bush. It went something like this:

Obama: Hey Bush, I have some questions. Even though we are from different political parties, I believe in mutual respect and want to hear your thoughts.
Bush: Shoot, pardner
Obama: What was the toughest thing you ever had to do?
Bush: Do? Presidents don't do anything. I just sat around and did some busy-work policy. Nothing that really matters.
Obama: With all due respect Mr. Bush, but I'm going to clean up Washington. Starting with Gitmo, Patriot Act...
Bush: Hold on son. I had the same conversation with Clinton when I took office. I didn't want nation building. I wanted smaller government. I thought the war in Iraq was a bad idea. But you do what you're told to do.
Obama: Oh, come on. You're telling me your hands were tied on this?
Bush: I'm going to give you a file here. It will take you awhile to digest. Hell, when I read this file I thought Ol Slick Willy was putting one over on me. But let me tell you a bit about history. In the 1950s, we made contact with aliens. That's right, little green men. They came from a small cluster of stars -- about 1000 -- that's on the edge of the milky way. It's there due to dark matter or some such. Well, after the first contact, they started to infiltrate us. They weren't peaceful. But hell we deserve it for what we did to the Indians. Nixon, bless his heart, sat down with the Soviets and hammered out a deal, that we would be partners in this war.
Obama: You're kidding me.
Bush: Sadly, I'm not. Now the whole Watergate thing was Nixon trying to keep a lid on this. Could you imagine if people knew? There would be panic on the streets. Riots. Chaos. End of civilization. Hell, the US Presidency had sovereignty until under Carter when certain people with a lot of power decided it was best not to let citizens pick their leaders. So Reagan was the first president picked by the group. He had the charisma to pull it off. He was chosen because as an actor, well... he'd be able to keep everything on the "down low" as my daughters say. Really sell the whole debt thing.
Obama: Aliens? Really?
Bush: That's right. It hasn't been all bad. In the 1990s we were able to reverse engineer some of their technology. That's what Moore's law is -- the more technology we can reverse engineer, the more we're able to. Anyway, we had to tell Gore about this so he would stop contesting the election, and that's why he grew a beard and went off the deep end there for a bit.
Obama: So, we're in a galactic war with Aliens... and the President is a puppet... what about Iraq, the Patriot Act... axis of evil...
Bush: Well, the Iraq thing is tricky. The aliens, well they'd been here before. The prophet Mohammed was an attempt at taking over the world through religion. See, these little buggers have some sort of mind control. But they can't use it on public figures because it completely changes their personality. One of the side affects of even being in the vicinity of a MCH  -- mind controlled human that is -- you'll learn the jargon soon enough -- is it turns people homosexual. Part of the reason I wanted to keep the sodomy laws on the books is it was a good way to sniff out activity. I have no problem with gay marriage, but it's easier to monitor mind control incidents by tracking pride rallies. If homosexuality was perceived as normal, then we'd be lost if the aliens ever moved out of their San Francisco stronghold.
Obama: You were talking about Iraq...
Bush: Oh, I was getting ahead of myself there. You see, Saddam was convinced by the aliens that he was the next prophet. See they couldn't mind control him, because his personality would change. Saddam was letting them build a massive Mind Control generator in Iraq that could be used to enslave all of us. Out there in the desert. Due to the earth's magnetic currents, building the thing in the middle east would have amplified the signal... covered the whole world. That's what we were there for. The whole nuke thing was the best we could come up with. But they've been doing this for years. You think the Soviets really wanted to invade Afghanistan? Carter, the dummy, tried to block the war for humanitarian reasons. That's why Americans don't get to vote for their president any more. Diebold made that a lot easier for us to hide.
Obama: And... the Patriot Act...?
Bush: Funny thing about these aliens is that they don't talk like you and me. They use telepathic communication. Because it's all electromagnetic based, that's what the boys in A51 say, the aliens can tap into cell phones, internet, whatever... and pretend to talk to people. So see this phone here? Lets say Dick Cheney calls me up. I can't tell if it's Dick Cheney or an alien foolin' the system. Now with enough data crunching, we can tell. Also figure out where they are transmitting from. We're working on a way to monitor all communication devices and dump the data on a server somewhere. Then go through it and figure out which calls have been spoofed. It's called PRISM. You'll be briefed on it later.
Obama: This is insane! A war with aliens! Mind control! I have to tell someone!
Bush: Oh, I wouldn't be doing that. No, sir. The group wouldn't like it very much. There would be consequences. That message would never get out. You think the Secret Service is here to protect us? No, they're here to keep things running smoothly.
Obama: I see. This is mind-blowing. So who runs things?
Bush: Well, it's those Bliderberg guys. They have a lot going on, but running this country is one of them. It's not all bad.
Obama: A puppet, you're telling me I'm a puppet and I can't do anything about it.
Bush: Oh, it ain't all bad. You can play a lot of golf, give fancy speeches. Hell, the election won't even matter. If you say the right things, they'll give you a second term. I've never read so many books as I did being president. You signed up to serve your country right? Well, this is the service it needs.
Obama: Okay. Okay. This will be okay.
Bush: One more thing. Watch out for that Ron Paul fellow. With think the aliens got to him. As I said, the mind control leaves some strange footprints on a man's personality.
Obama: Who else has been compromised?
Bush: Well, Denis Kucinich. Denis Rodman. The whole Kim family over in North Korea. Most suicide bombers, but you don't know that till later. The psych boys have a profile worked up if you're interested, but we got agencies to deal with that.
Obama: I need some time... to think about this...
Bush: Sure, sure. Take your time. It's not easy. In the beginning of my term, I thought I would be a bit subversive. You know, let a few hints slide here and there. I hate being under someone's thumb. But boy, then they stated writing my speeches to make me sound like a moron. So it's easier just to do what they say. They'll put the words on the teleprompter. Just read them and smile.
Obama: Thanks, George. I think I can do this.
Bush: Sure you can. They wouldn't have picked you if you couldn't. And hell, ol' Hillary already knows about this. If you don't think you're ready, arrangements can be made. But they want her in 2016 for some reason. I think they're going to crash the housing and banking sector as a distraction to hide the massive cost of this war. But don't tell anyone you heard that from me, that's a bit above my pay grade.
Obama: I'll be in touch. Take care George.
Bush: See ya! Read that file, let me know if you have any questions. Also, if you get in any trouble just call up the Koch brothers. Good people.
2013-06-15 09:58:06 PM
4 votes:
img.fark.net
2013-06-15 09:52:49 PM
4 votes:
Not that I'm defending them... but for the record, the NSA has been intercepting every wireless communication in existence since... well forever.  Its generally referred to as ECHELON.  You think your cell phone only has a range of a few miles?  Hah... with more sensitive receivers, they can scoop that shiat out of the air a much longer distance away.  Not that it matters, since they use satellites for most of it anyhow.  Cant get away from those things.  Which reminds me, and this is very important... er.. hang on brb doorbell.
2013-06-15 09:51:24 PM
4 votes:
I really cannot figure out why people are so upset by all these activities by the NSA.  Seriously, what is the big deal?  They are NOT interested in your personal information.  They are not trying to catch people breaking the law.  All they care about is Setec Astronomy.  They are just trying to improve our understanding of the stars.  So all you paranoid conspiracy theorists just need to lighten up.
2013-06-15 09:46:15 PM
4 votes:
Don't you god damn GET IT!!! These people take IT TO THEIR HEARTS EVERY GOD DAMN DAY!!!!

MOVE
ALONG.
2013-06-15 09:45:56 PM
4 votes:
img.photobucket.com
2013-06-15 11:26:32 PM
3 votes:

insertsnarkyusername: Are there any ways to communicate that aren't monitored?


i236.photobucket.com
2013-06-15 10:04:58 PM
3 votes:
You people don't get it.  We NEED this kind of surveillance to protect America from terrorists.

There are sinister people out there, who have infiltrated our society and live among us, pretending to be law-abiding, freedom-loving Americans.

They will not rest until America, land of the free and home of the brave, ceases to exist as we know it.

But enough about the NSA, you should be scared of the terrorists.  BOOGA BOOGA
2013-06-15 09:48:10 PM
3 votes:
In case you've forgotten just what Obama promised us on this...

Candidate Obama debates President Obama on Government Surveillance
2013-06-15 09:46:37 PM
3 votes:
img.photobucket.com
2013-06-15 09:44:13 PM
3 votes:
"NSA Director Keith Alexander says his agency's analysts, which until recently included Edward Snowden among their ranks, take protecting "civil liberties and privacy and the security of this nation to their heart every day."

Oh gee, well if they take it to their heart every day then I guess you should just carry on.
2013-06-16 12:04:44 AM
2 votes:

PyroStock: insertsnarkyusername: Are there any ways to communicate that aren't monitored?


25.media.tumblr.com
2013-06-15 11:56:16 PM
2 votes:
OgreMagi
I've been saying that all along. Which, according to some farkers, makes me a moron. Who'd of thunk?

Didn't we used to argue constantly? What was that all about? ehh capitalism I suppose... it's always one or the other.


Weaver95
Anyways, the point here is that our rights are gone. G-O-N-E. not coming back. ever. the fedgov isn't going to give up its ability to spy on us. accept it. And learn from this lesson...anything you give to the government is gone forever. we don't get it back. stop giving up what little we've got left.

Undoubtably, with that kind of attitude. Look, when the British rode into Washington DC and demanded our tea, did Paul Revere give up? No! And when the Cubans tried to invade Louisiana, did Andrew Jackson cry like a little girl? Hell no! And when the Nazis bombed Pearl Harbor, Teddy Roosevelt stood right up and said, "Remember the Alamo!". So are you going to sit back and take it? Or are you going to fight back like those who came before you, like Rick Blaine, Col. Robert Hogan, and Lt. Col. Andrew Tanner?
2013-06-15 11:46:08 PM
2 votes:
i.imgur.com
2013-06-15 10:54:07 PM
2 votes:
Look, I don't like it more than anyone else, but if we don't allow this slight intrusion on our privacy, do you know what would happen? JONES would come back!!! Comrades, don't you remember how terrible it was when Jones was running thing???

FOUR LEGS GOOD!
TWO LEGS BAD!
FOUR LEGS GOOD!
TWO LEGS BAD!
FOUR LEGS GOOD!
TWO LEGS BAD!
FOUR LEGS GOOD!
TWO LEGS BAD!
FOUR LEGS GOOD!
TWO LEGS BAD!
FOUR LEGS GOOD!
TWO LEGS BAD!
2013-06-15 10:31:50 PM
2 votes:
VOTE REPUBLICAN
so NSA wiretapping can go back to not being a scandal!
2013-06-15 10:27:22 PM
2 votes:
Well, I guess there's nothing left for anyone to do except play their saxophone.

criticalmassesmedia.com
2013-06-15 10:25:23 PM
2 votes:
To: Mom
CC: Drew Curtis
BCC: NSA

My poop was brown and firm today, both times.  My a** is recovering nicely from the rough toilet paper incident from last week and I hope to finish my  Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator in the next couple days, at which time I will blow up the earth.
2013-06-15 09:50:23 PM
2 votes:

Popcorn Johnny: This is in no way Obama's fault, the President is only to blame for crap like this when a Republican is in the White House.


This is only Obama's fault, the President is only to blame for crap like this when a Democrat is in the White House herp herp derp HERP DERP HERP DERPDERPDERP!

Dumbass.
2013-06-15 09:49:38 PM
2 votes:

insertsnarkyusername: Are there any ways to communicate that aren't monitored?


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IP_over_Avian_Carriers
2013-06-15 09:49:34 PM
2 votes:

insertsnarkyusername: Are there any ways to communicate that aren't monitored?


Two cups and a string.

/I think.
2013-06-15 09:45:34 PM
2 votes:
Not surprised. The government has overstepped its power for decades and no one has been too interested in stopping it. Find me a candidate who will bring the NSA and FBI to heel without also being an anti-establishment nutcase and I'll vote for him.
2013-06-16 07:17:11 PM
1 votes:

VegasVinnie: Secret laws, secret courts, secret interpretations of secret orders, secret warrants, secret wiretapping, secret prison...

I love this place!


Secret lovers
2013-06-16 04:57:17 PM
1 votes:
I hate to give them any more ideas, but how far are we away from this?

www.livingindefinitely.com
2013-06-16 10:32:55 AM
1 votes:
It must be fark-all easy for nsa analysts (or their private contractor brethren) to get raises.

Hmmmm.. let's see if ol' bossy is still seeing that chick on the side. For national security, of course.
2013-06-16 03:36:16 AM
1 votes:

WhyteRaven74: Can you actually post an idea or are you so utterly without being that all you can do is mock other people to try to feel good about yourself?


I'm just wondering what context ever did to him that he refuses to use it.
2013-06-16 01:43:13 AM
1 votes:

whidbey: Honestly, if we had thrown every ounce of our support to the Democratic Party, telling the Republicans to fark off and holding Obama et al to a high standard of transparency, this country would be sailing along a lot farther than it is now.


We should demand Obama live up to his promises!

whidbey: It really doesn't help the cause of progressiveness for its proponents to be divided, and that's what you're doing.


But don't you dare criticize him when he farks up!


dl.dropboxusercontent.com
2013-06-16 01:40:29 AM
1 votes:
We need a national "Talk like a terrorist day". Everybody should make phone calls, send texts and emails talking about blowing shiat up. That would make for some lulz.
2013-06-16 12:09:10 AM
1 votes:

Asphyxium: I love how retarded Republicans are up in arms about the surveillance and yet seem to be completely oblivious to the fact that their good old boy George W. Bush was the one who made all this possible.


No. People that value liberty were against this all along. Don't pretend for a second that it's a partisan issue, the left failed to fix anything.
2013-06-16 12:08:08 AM
1 votes:
Threads like this pretty much make me hate everyone.

JIHAD!
2013-06-15 11:55:33 PM
1 votes:

Bucky Katt: BullBearMS: cptjeff: 'm not defending them. I'm saying that thanks to the structure of our system, no third party is ever going to be able to influence it significantly.

"global elite bankers" is a euphamism for Jews.



media.hamptonroads.com

"Now, you may very well think that but of course, I couldn't possibly comment."
2013-06-15 11:51:49 PM
1 votes:

dennysgod: This is why I voted for Saxon.


Denim and Leather!
2013-06-15 11:47:49 PM
1 votes:

sendtodave: cig-mkr: So I take it that Obama was fibbing when he said that they only review the pertinent conversations after an event happens ? Sort of like closing the barn door.......

I'm sure he was just "mistaken."


Got bad intel from his subordinates, yeah that's the ticket.
2013-06-15 11:32:53 PM
1 votes:

SacriliciousBeerSwiller: Eat a bag of dicks.


s3.amazonaws.com

Don't mind if I do! :)
2013-06-15 11:24:03 PM
1 votes:
www.libertynews.comhttp://www.libertynews.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/obama-nixon.jp g


Even the Liberals can see Obama is no better than Nixon.
2013-06-15 11:23:24 PM
1 votes:
I work for the government. I'm an analyst for FEMA. F*ck it, I need to work for these guys. The info you get access to is much cooler.
2013-06-15 11:22:23 PM
1 votes:

insertsnarkyusername: Are there any ways to communicate that aren't monitored?



sıɥʇ ǝʞıן sǝnbınɥɔǝʇ noıʇdʎɹɔnǝ ʇǝɹɔǝs nɹɐǝן oʇ dǝǝn noʎ
2013-06-15 11:19:20 PM
1 votes:

Jacobin: insertsnarkyusername: Are there any ways to communicate that aren't monitored?

They have trouble interceping smoke signals. Too low tech for them to fool with

Thats how i make all my phone calls


Gaelic Sign Language!

/Sorry to the NSA grunt that now has to learn Gaelic Sign Language
//a little
2013-06-15 11:13:37 PM
1 votes:
When did the Cell Phone Generation start giving a shiat about others being able to listen in on their "private" conversations?

/get off my lawn!
2013-06-15 11:09:12 PM
1 votes:

SacriliciousBeerSwiller: Pro-tip to the teahadists: most liberals are angry at Obama over this, just as we were angry at Bush. For those of you who are only now "outraged" about this since a brown guy is in the White House, and didn't give a f*ck when this entire program began under Bush because "MURKA!!!", sorry, you have no right to an opinion. Eat a bag of dicks.


So only people who agree with you are entitled to an opinion?  If you really feel this way, you advocate a dictatorship where only government approved opinions are allowed to be expressed.

Try doing a bit of research.  If you did, you would know that tea party members don't care about the color of someone.  They do care about how government officials act and the harm their policies cause.  You'll also find out that many Democrats are bigots.  It was Democrats that kept black people in the south from voting for a hundred years.  It was Democrats who started segregation and who fought to keep it in the 50s and 60s.  LBJ needed Republican votes to pass the civil rights act because so many Democrats opposed it.  If you don't know which party Lincoln was a member of, I'll let you look it up.
2013-06-15 10:48:57 PM
1 votes:

cptjeff: you're in an idiot,


What an excellent phrase for a typo.
2013-06-15 10:39:33 PM
1 votes:

Nabb1: I'm sure the bootlickers will be here soon enough to tell us we have no reason to be upset.


For the uninitiated, this is called, "Poisoning the Well."
2013-06-15 10:33:39 PM
1 votes:

Herb Utsmelz: Nothing anyone says here matters.


Said the man posting over and over.  I hope you got more of this drivel cause it's a pretty slow day, here.   :  )
2013-06-15 10:31:39 PM
1 votes:
"This guy sure likes porno!"
2013-06-15 10:13:25 PM
1 votes:

omg bbq: Oh gee, well if they take it to their heart every day then I guess you should just carry on.


Think they may have employed this guy:

www.the-stockyard.com
2013-06-15 10:12:20 PM
1 votes:
Reminds me, I wanted to see what this whole 'facebook' thing is about

/Eh, maybe later
2013-06-15 10:08:42 PM
1 votes:

kab: Land of the free!


Home of the brave!

OMG TERRORISTS!  Please spy on us!  If you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to fear!
2013-06-15 10:04:34 PM
1 votes:
Can we just start calling it Minihome now?
2013-06-15 10:00:41 PM
1 votes:

insertsnarkyusername: Are there any ways to communicate that aren't monitored?


Three-eyed ravens.

images2.wikia.nocookie.net
2013-06-15 09:58:31 PM
1 votes:

fusillade762: Popcorn Johnny: This is in no way Obama's fault, the President is only to blame for crap like this when a Republican is in the White House.

I know it's shocking that the president might do something congress has apparently authorized him to do. You'll get over it.


insertsnarkyusername: Are there any ways to communicate that aren't monitored?

Carrier chickens.


Sure, right up to the time they get raped.

/rape
2013-06-15 09:57:44 PM
1 votes:
And zeros of people will be prosecuted for this.
2013-06-15 09:55:36 PM
1 votes:
I never thought I'd say this again.

I'm getting the pig!
2013-06-15 09:52:24 PM
1 votes:
Pro-tip to the teahadists: most liberals are angry at Obama over this, just as we were angry at Bush. For those of you who are only now "outraged" about this since a brown guy is in the White House, and didn't give a f*ck when this entire program began under Bush because "MURKA!!!", sorry, you have no right to an opinion. Eat a bag of dicks.
2013-06-15 09:51:55 PM
1 votes:

Popcorn Johnny: This is in no way Obama's fault, the President is only to blame for crap like this when a Republican is in the White House.


I know it's shocking that the president might do something congress has apparently authorized him to do. You'll get over it.


insertsnarkyusername: Are there any ways to communicate that aren't monitored?


Carrier chickens.
2013-06-15 09:51:15 PM
1 votes:

Nabb1: I'm sure the bootlickers will be here soon enough to tell us we have no reason to be upset.


Yep. Here you are, trixi
2013-06-15 09:50:16 PM
1 votes:

OgreMagi: I'm waiting for the fark sock puppets to stop sucking Obama's peener long enough to admit they were wrong.

I wont' hold my breath.


But, but, but..

The Government can't possibly afford hard disks to store the data!
2013-06-15 09:47:21 PM
1 votes:
This is in no way Obama's fault, the President is only to blame for crap like this when a Republican is in the White House.
2013-06-15 09:45:40 PM
1 votes:
"Nobody's listening to your phone calls."
2013-06-15 09:45:15 PM
1 votes:
Well, that is an excellent excuse for every dictator and wannabe out there, from China to Bulgaria to do the same.
2013-06-15 09:44:19 PM
1 votes:
I'm sure the bootlickers will be here soon enough to tell us we have no reason to be upset.
 
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