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(KPTV Portland)   Rescue crews resume looking hard for smoking hot naked 19-year-old brunette (w/pic)   (kptv.com) divider line 116
    More: Followup, KPTV, smoking, forest road  
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25692 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Jun 2013 at 6:04 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-06-15 03:08:28 PM  
Some mountain man must have thought it was Christmas when she walked by...
 
2013-06-15 03:48:25 PM  
Meth is a hell of a drug
 
2013-06-15 04:10:05 PM  

Arthur Jumbles: Some mountain man must have thought it was Christmas when she walked by...


That's what I'm starting to think. One article followed her trail to a road. Naked and "on a quest" is a bad combo.
 
2013-06-15 04:12:19 PM  

cretinbob: Meth is a hell of a drug


Sounds like shrooms to me.
 
2013-06-15 04:28:29 PM  

Three Crooked Squirrels: cretinbob: Meth is a hell of a drug

Sounds like shrooms to me.


When I read that she left naked on a spiritual quest and none of her friends tried to stop her, I figured some kind of drugs were involved.
 
2013-06-15 04:52:17 PM  

ongbok: When I read that she left naked on a spiritual quest and none of her friends tried to stop her, I figured some kind of drugs were involved.


I dunno, I have some friends that are strictly drug-free, and I wouldn't put this sort of spiritual quest past a couple of them.
 
2013-06-15 04:55:44 PM  
Earlier this week, Kelly's brother told KPTV that Kelly is comfortable and capable in the outdoors, but she wasn't as prepared as he would have liked.

[facepalm.jpg]
 
2013-06-15 05:00:21 PM  
spiritual quest?  must be peyote.
 
2013-06-15 05:10:06 PM  
What a coincidence, I've been looking for a smoking hot naked 19-year-old brunette for years.
 
2013-06-15 05:28:20 PM  
To be fair, Submitter, we do not know at this time if she is actually on fire.
 
2013-06-15 05:28:54 PM  
i.imgur.com

Someone clearly didn't think this through.  That's like a bear dessert.
 
2013-06-15 05:31:35 PM  

Lsherm: [i.imgur.com image 399x218]

Someone clearly didn't think this through.  That's like a bear dessert.


I hope she wasn't on the rag traipsing naked through the woods. If so they should have a trail to follow.
 
2013-06-15 06:08:32 PM  
I think she found a Squatch and his wood
 
2013-06-15 06:08:51 PM  
I don't know about smokin' hot.  She looks like a young Benicio Del Toro to me...
 
2013-06-15 06:10:18 PM  

scrumpox: I don't know about smokin' hot.  She looks like a young Benicio Del Toro to me...


Nailed it!
 
2013-06-15 06:11:00 PM  

whither_apophis: Arthur Jumbles: Some mountain man must have thought it was Christmas when she walked by...

That's what I'm starting to think. One article followed her trail to a road. Naked and "on a quest" is a bad combo.


'It put's the lotion on it's skin...'

They'll find her remains in a few years, or never.
 
2013-06-15 06:11:28 PM  
Also, according to heavy.com, she "entered the woods at its most dangerous point". Camp Rapealot, I'm guessing.
 
2013-06-15 06:14:45 PM  
FTA "The search for a 19-year-old woman who was naked when she set off on a "spiritual quest" resumed Saturday morning."

And by "spiritual quest" you mean go into the woods, get stoned, and fark some other hairy smelly hippies then yeah. Totally spiritual.

Also...


kptv.images.worldnow.com

Judging by the size of her right arm compared to her left It looks like she recently discovered internet pr0n.

/Also answers the question of 'who else but Quagmire?'
//Giggity
 
2013-06-15 06:14:57 PM  
imageshack.us
 
2013-06-15 06:15:40 PM  

Psycoholic_Slag: scrumpox: I don't know about smokin' hot.  She looks like a young Benicio Del Toro to me...

Nailed it!


Yeeees!  It's those brows man....those brows...
 
2013-06-15 06:17:29 PM  
I still think she's pretty though.  Hope they find her.
 
2013-06-15 06:18:14 PM  
Did you guys see the size of that chicken?
 
2013-06-15 06:19:33 PM  
"fanny pack with a compass, knife and a couple of other items"

Three sheets of acid, some K, some DMT, a gram of crystal MDMA and some 4-FMA.
 
2013-06-15 06:21:23 PM  

theotherbilly: Did you guys see the size of that chicken?


Very appropriate with your handle.
 
2013-06-15 06:23:08 PM  
frocktalk.com
 
2013-06-15 06:23:14 PM  
Naked, tripping and lost is no way to go through life, girl.
 
2013-06-15 06:25:42 PM  
Disappeared naked on a paved road.  She's gone.
 
2013-06-15 06:28:36 PM  
Looks like a female Gilbert Godfreid.
 
2013-06-15 06:30:01 PM  

Three Crooked Squirrels: cretinbob: Meth is a hell of a drug

Sounds like shrooms to me.


Datura.
 
2013-06-15 06:35:10 PM  
How long ago do you think they found her?
 
2013-06-15 06:36:19 PM  

meintx2001: Disappeared naked on a paved road.  She's gone.


No.

I'm sure they'll find parts of her strewn along a 100 mile or so stretch of highway.
 
2013-06-15 06:36:52 PM  
I hope they find her before she gets eaten, or worse, fingered.
 
2013-06-15 06:37:40 PM  
Lulz. 'Spiritual quest'.

Had it coming.
 
2013-06-15 06:37:59 PM  
I heard most of the rescuers gave up the search when the supervisor rescinded the "first one to find her keeps her" promise.
 
2013-06-15 06:43:15 PM  

YoOjo: "fanny pack with a compass, knife and a couple of other items"

Three sheets of acid, some K, some DMT, a gram of crystal MDMA and some 4-FMA.


I'm in.

Also, I would look for this girl soooo hard.
 
2013-06-15 06:45:10 PM  
She looks like that Asian cylon girl.

So... There's probably another copy
 
2013-06-15 06:48:11 PM  
 A friend told sheriff's deputies Kelly left on a spiritual quest at 5 p.m. that day. She was wearing nothing but a fanny pack with a knife, a compass and a couple other items inside.

crow202.org
 
2013-06-15 06:49:00 PM  
What the search parties are expecting (NSFW)

http://i.imgbox.com/acws0ck5.jpg
 
2013-06-15 06:50:27 PM  

Three Crooked Squirrels: cretinbob: Meth is a hell of a drug

Sounds like shrooms to me.


Bing bing bing!  Not judging, I've wandered around the woods nekkid my own self in my youth.
 
2013-06-15 06:50:50 PM  
Meh.
 
2013-06-15 07:03:26 PM  
I've a feeling that this won't end well. Predators, both 2 legged and 4 legged can be found in areas such as these.

A journey to "find one's self" is a wonderful idea, but a bit of planning can prevent what might be a tragedy.
 
2013-06-15 07:03:48 PM  
All I have to say is that if she is found alive and in one piece, there better be tons of nekkid pics forthcoming.
 
2013-06-15 07:03:57 PM  

megarian: YoOjo: "fanny pack with a compass, knife and a couple of other items"

Three sheets of acid, some K, some DMT, a gram of crystal MDMA and some 4-FMA.

I'm in.

Also, I would look for this girl soooo hard.


If your search is hard for more than 4 hours please consult a physician.
 
2013-06-15 07:05:48 PM  

YoOjo: "fanny pack with a compass, knife and a couple of other items"

Three sheets of acid, some K, some DMT, a gram of crystal MDMA and some 4-FMA.


now THAT is a party!
 
2013-06-15 07:08:54 PM  
Sadly, by now she's either bear poop, a sex slave, or body parts in someone's basement.
 
2013-06-15 07:12:36 PM  
At this point she is probablly less smoking hot and more stinking cold.
 
2013-06-15 07:13:04 PM  
i309.photobucket.com

Looks like everybody is having a good time!
 
2013-06-15 07:14:51 PM  
OR she met someone she knows and is lying up in some crappy flat stoned off her face.
 
2013-06-15 07:15:13 PM  

FrancoFile: Sadly, by now she's either bear poop, a sex slave, or body parts in someone's basement.


It is western Washington. You don't need to bother burying shiat in your basement around here. You can just toss them in the ridiculously thick woods and they will never be found. That is why we have so many serial killers that get such crazy body counts.

/WE'RE #1!
//Agree that she's dead though.
 
2013-06-15 07:16:30 PM  
Aren't the forests in the PNW some of the densest and wildest in the world? That's big time bear territory, she's farked and it's hard to find people in the forests up there.
 
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