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(Wired)   Happy Trails: Wired's list of 10 essential tools you need for hiking comes to $1191 dollars, including the $170 sunglasses, the $130 wood burning stove, the $100 camp chair, and the $111 latte maker   (wired.com) divider line 209
    More: Stupid, Revo Harness, polycarbonate, river valleys, hiking boot, American Rivers, Nathan Hurst  
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8670 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Jun 2013 at 10:54 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-06-15 08:53:51 AM
You're close, subby.  Bringing a latte maker for hiking essentially makes you a tool.

What you need for hiking.  A pair of shoes.
 
2013-06-15 08:59:42 AM
Shoes? Wimp.
 
2013-06-15 09:20:16 AM
Sixty bucks for a shirt that 'tends to ride up.'  Yes, that does sound 'essential.'
 
2013-06-15 09:24:07 AM
Anyone notice the 10 essentials had 3 backpacks and 2 pairs of shoes? When I go for a hike, I usually only have one back and two feet, but maybe that's just me.
 
2013-06-15 09:46:05 AM
starsmedia.ign.com

'lectric toothbrushes.
 
2013-06-15 09:46:49 AM
No chest wax?!

this list blows.
 
2013-06-15 09:48:02 AM
"Revo's standard perks are here  -- great fit, water-shedding coating -- though my lenses kept popping out, which shouldn't happen on such pricey shades."

ya think, genius? and yet they're still "essential?"

smells like bullshiat to me!
 
2013-06-15 10:17:25 AM
$170 for sunglasses and the lenses fall out.
Form over function fails again.
 
2013-06-15 10:50:57 AM
pixel.nymag.com
Proud.
 
2013-06-15 10:55:37 AM

Relatively Obscure: Sixty bucks for a shirt that 'tends to ride up.'  Yes, that does sound 'essential.'


Also, "Revo's standard perks are here - great fit, water-shedding coating - though my lenses kept popping out, which shouldn't happen on such pricey shades."

This guy sounds like an idiot, both as a hiker and as a person recommending what to buy.
 
2013-06-15 10:58:02 AM
And, the $350 shoes are "bulky, run large, and take some time to break in, as the blisters on my Achilles will attest."

Yeah, this guy's a tard.
 
2013-06-15 10:58:42 AM
tickets to Argentina usually cost more than that
 
2013-06-15 10:59:20 AM

doglover: Shoes? Wimp.


Why are you even bothering with feet?  Man up.  Real men cut their legs off before every hike.
 
2013-06-15 10:59:29 AM
lol
no.


Dnrtfa
 
2013-06-15 11:00:11 AM
I thought hiking tools bought all of their gear from L.L. Bean, I guess I was wrong.
 
2013-06-15 11:00:29 AM
If you're just 'hiking' in the sense of 'I am walking through the woods for a few hours', why would you need more than a pair of good shoes, and maybe a hat and/or sunglasses? I'd make allotments for a bag + water, since in Texas it's going to be 100ish for 8 or 9 hours at a go. Maybe a stick for beating fellow hikers.

But the rest of it..? Unless this article is about pack camping or something, shoes, and go?
 
2013-06-15 11:01:38 AM
Also, "Revo's standard perks are here - great fit, water-shedding coating - though my lenses kept popping out, which shouldn't happen on such pricey shades."

I have a $20 pair of Calcuttas that I've had for years. I wear them daily and the lenses dont pop out. Remind me never to buy whatever crap he is wearing.
 
2013-06-15 11:01:40 AM
Up next: Grilling tips from the editors of "Vegan Living"
 
2013-06-15 11:02:02 AM
I thought submitter was joking with that headline.  You don't need any of that crap to go hiking.
 
2013-06-15 11:02:06 AM
this advertisement article brought to you by REI and EMS
 
2013-06-15 11:03:00 AM
Cheaper than camping. I figured a tent, a few cans of beans, marshmallows, What could it cost?  But with the sleeping bags, the hiking shoes and all The other paraphernalia that you use, It came to $6,947.22!

Not too obscure, I hope.

Here's a hint.  It would be hilarious if someone streaked one of his concerts.
 
2013-06-15 11:03:17 AM
This is why I always hike naked.
 
2013-06-15 11:03:20 AM

Duke Phillips' Singing Bears: Up next: Grilling tips from the editors of "Vegan Living"


Yeah, I was at least expecting to see a GPS in the gear list.
 
2013-06-15 11:04:50 AM
I think people increasingly have a hard time telling when stuff is tongue-in-cheek.
 
2013-06-15 11:05:26 AM
That's ten items that are essential for those five mile walks in your local park when you like to pretend its Dartmoor
 
2013-06-15 11:05:32 AM
Map, walking boots, rolled up rainjacket in day bag, water & food, compass.
Maybe spare socks but good boots with good socks generally negate them if you look where you're walking.

Going hiking with all the latest 'fab technical gear' such as titanium sporks, shades that can say douche in 20 languages and relying on the GPS on your phone is not something I'm so interested in.
 
2013-06-15 11:06:09 AM
www.powerhousemuseum.com

This is all I need for a nice hike.
 
2013-06-15 11:06:43 AM
A latte set? What an asshole. I bet he also carries a couple of rolls of that Charmin with lotion so he doesn't chafe his bum after fertilizing the forest.
 
2013-06-15 11:08:30 AM
No compass, maps, food container/gear, essential survival gear listed? Where is he planning to hike, Central Park?
 
2013-06-15 11:08:44 AM

Jenna Tellya: This is why I always hike naked.


You mean except for the back pack? I read about you in a previous fark thread, glad you made it back safe and sound.
 
2013-06-15 11:09:59 AM
Douchebags gotta douche.
 
2013-06-15 11:10:11 AM

James F. Campbell: I think people increasingly have a hard time telling when stuff is tongue-in-cheek.


I got the 'sense' it was tongue-in-cheek but it wasn't funny or clever enough.
 
2013-06-15 11:10:46 AM

YoOjo: Maybe spare socks but good boots with good socks generally negate them if you look where you're walking.


Always extra socks, if you pack extra socks you will not need them, if you don't pack extra socks your feet are getting wet.
 
2013-06-15 11:11:58 AM

sno man: Anyone notice the 10 essentials had 3 backpacks and 2 pairs of shoes? When I go for a hike, I usually only have one back and two feet, but maybe that's just me.


My backpack wears a backpack. I'm just that hardcore. The other one and the second pair of shoes are for my manservant, who will make me lattes on demand.

In all seriousness, a lot of his gear seems "essential" because he's a pussy who can't stand feeling his own sweat.
 
2013-06-15 11:12:52 AM

Jenna Tellya: This is why I always hike naked.


Even outside of that...how is this any different from, say, an article in GQ with an $800 shirt and $450 pair of pants, or one of the shows on HLN about renovating a mansion?  Most people don't need, can't afford, and wouldn't want this stuff, but it may be fun to look at for a few minutes than get on with your life.
 
2013-06-15 11:12:53 AM
$170 Sunglasses!  I have never paid more than $15 for adequate comfortable polarized sunglasses.This is why I will retire when I want and the guy who bought the  $170 Sunglasses won't.
 
2013-06-15 11:14:00 AM

Gecko Gingrich: And, the $350 shoes are "bulky, run large, and take some time to break in, as the blisters on my Achilles will attest."

Yeah, this guy's a tard.


Sounds like you've never owned a decent pair of hiking boots before. The nice leather ones always take some time to break in. As somebody who owns a pair of $300 (though I got them half off) all leather boots, they really are wonderful. they run a little warmer than the mesh covered stuff, but they really keep your feet dry when you step into crap (which, despite the promises, I've never had a pair with mesh do consistently), and they're unbelievably comfortable. But they do take time to break in, which is why you're not supposed to do any strenuous hikes on day one.

Oh, and they'll last. My Dad just replaced a 30 year old pair of all leather boots. The upper was still just fine, but the soles fell off for the second time in a year. Rather than sending them back to the maker this time, he decided a new pair was reasonable.

The bulky will be an issue for the people who demand the lightest and newest, but the light and new stuff tends to die quickly- they sacrifice durability. And the sizing shouldn't be an issue for anybody- it just means try them on in store and don't blindly buy them online.

And if you're reacting to the price, quality costs money. And yeah, I've played with some of the stuff Danner makes before- you absolutely are getting a very high quality product. Boots like that will be with you for decades.

There were several problems with that list, but those boots ain't one of 'em.
 
2013-06-15 11:14:58 AM
I can't imagine any writer taking pride in such work.  You'd have to be blind drunk all the time to live with yourself.
 
2013-06-15 11:16:25 AM

Rip Dashrock: Jenna Tellya: This is why I always hike naked.

You mean except for the back pack? I read about you in a previous fark thread, glad you made it back safe and sound.


Actually, she hasn't turned up yet.
 
2013-06-15 11:16:45 AM
good shoes
a good hat
a good stick/staff (make your own!)
water canteen
a good sharp machete and a pocket knife.

all this at most would run you $100
 
2013-06-15 11:17:42 AM
What the fark did I just read?

I thought hiking = shoes, socks, and water. I guess I'm not a very fashionable hiker.
 
2013-06-15 11:18:11 AM

doglover: Shoes? Wimp.


images.tvrage.com
 
2013-06-15 11:18:50 AM

fat boy: Rip Dashrock: Jenna Tellya: This is why I always hike naked.

You mean except for the back pack? I read about you in a previous fark thread, glad you made it back safe and sound.

Actually, she hasn't turned up yet.


Maybe she found a Squach and his wood.
 
2013-06-15 11:19:26 AM
God, I hope this guy gets lost in the woods and dies of exposure.
 
ows
2013-06-15 11:19:56 AM

YoOjo: Map, walking boots, rolled up rainjacket in day bag, fatty, water & food, compass.
Maybe spare socks but good boots with good socks generally negate them if you look where you're walking.

Going hiking with all the latest 'fab technical gear' such as titanium sporks, shades that can say douche in 20 languages and relying on the GPS on your phone is not something I'm so interested in.

 
2013-06-15 11:20:55 AM
Damn, too broke to even go for a walk. Guess I'll just stay home with a bottle of good rum. Much cheaper.
 
2013-06-15 11:21:57 AM
Let's just admit that absurd gift guides and reviews of $1000 shirts and $10000 watches are part of magazine reality. It is paid advertising.
 
2013-06-15 11:24:26 AM

Dear Jerk: Let's just admit that absurd gift guides and reviews of $1000 shirts and $10000 watches are part of magazine reality. It is paid advertising.


Why would you pay somebody to advertise that your sunglasses' lenses fall out?
 
2013-06-15 11:24:49 AM

I_Am_Weasel: You're close, subby.  Bringing a latte maker for hiking essentially makes you a tool.

What you need for hiking.  A pair of shoes.


This.

And water.
 
2013-06-15 11:25:19 AM

ows: YoOjo: Map, walking boots, rolled up rainjacket in day bag, fatty, water & food, compass.
Maybe spare socks but good boots with good socks generally negate them if you look where you're walking.

Going hiking with all the latest 'fab technical gear' such as titanium sporks, shades that can say douche in 20 languages and relying on the GPS on your phone is not something I'm so interested in.


Yeah I was going to add that but figured it'd just attract comments about me being a freak-tard that deserves to die lost in the woods because drugs.
 
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