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(Jezebel)   Romantic advice that shouldn't need to be said, #234: Please don't hit on me via LinkedIn   (jezebel.com) divider line 71
    More: Dumbass, LinkedIn, professional network, romance  
•       •       •

3663 clicks; posted to Geek » on 15 Jun 2013 at 2:02 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



71 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-06-14 07:50:56 PM  
He writes: "...no matter the distance or age"
She thinks: "He must be older than me, so this is creepy rather than romantic."
 
2013-06-14 09:27:03 PM  
"Professional networking already feels icky enough; let's not make it worse."

I reluctantly have a LinkedIn with just about zero detail that goes unchecked for months at a time...  *fist bump*
 
2013-06-14 09:37:28 PM  
Her profile must say she's open to "new ventures."
 
2013-06-14 10:26:51 PM  
fark LinkedIn, they got rid of the prostitutes, what did they expect me to do?  http://www.businessinsider.com/linkedin-prostitution-ban-2013-5
 
2013-06-15 02:26:16 AM  
If girl is not attracted to guy, advances are creepy, gross and oh my god why would anyone do that, I can't believe anyone would try that.

If girl is attracted to guy, it's totally cool and here's my number!
 
2013-06-15 02:35:34 AM  

harlock: If girl is not attracted to guy, advances are creepy, gross and oh my god why would anyone do that, I can't believe anyone would try that.

If girl is attracted to guy, it's totally cool and here's my number!


So if a guy was being hit on by a grotesque 300 lb. drunk-off-her-ass 50 year old woman full of wrinkles and in a skin-tight dress, he would be all over that?
 
2013-06-15 02:50:50 AM  
"Kelli has endorsed BSABSVR in the skill "Cunnilingus'"
 
2013-06-15 03:02:57 AM  

ng2810: So if a guy was being hit on by a grotesque 300 lb. drunk-off-her-ass 50 year old woman full of wrinkles and in a skin-tight dress, he would be all over that?


i.imgur.com
 
2013-06-15 03:04:05 AM  

RoyBatty: fark LinkedIn, they got rid of the prostitutes, what did they expect me to do?  http://www.businessinsider.com/linkedin-prostitution-ban-2013-5


I'm getting a kick, because this friend of a friend who was (is?) a prostitute is apparently trying to contact me via LinkedIn. That's what the e-mails from her/LinkedIn say in my spam folder anyway. That's what I get for putting my e-mail on my Facebook page I guess.

/ She's nasty and likely got the herp, want her number?
 
2013-06-15 03:05:50 AM  

ng2810: harlock: If girl is not attracted to guy, advances are creepy, gross and oh my god why would anyone do that, I can't believe anyone would try that.

If girl is attracted to guy, it's totally cool and here's my number!

So if a guy was being hit on by a grotesque 300 lb. drunk-off-her-ass 50 year old woman full of wrinkles and in a skin-tight dress, he would be all over that?


No, but neither would he make a federal case out of it.

He would probably do some fun light flirting and enjoy the attention despite not having interest.

He definitely wouldn't run to the world as though being hit on is the same as a continued pattern of harrassment.
 
2013-06-15 03:10:14 AM  

ng2810: harlock: If girl is not attracted to guy, advances are creepy, gross and oh my god why would anyone do that, I can't believe anyone would try that.

If girl is attracted to guy, it's totally cool and here's my number!

So if a guy was being hit on by a grotesque 300 lb. drunk-off-her-ass 50 year old woman full of wrinkles and in a skin-tight dress, he would be all over that?


depends on the guy.
 
2013-06-15 03:12:19 AM  
Oh come on Jezebel, out the guy!
 
2013-06-15 03:15:39 AM  

harlock: If girl is not attracted to guy, advances are creepy, gross and oh my god why would anyone do that, I can't believe anyone would try that.

If girl is attracted to guy, it's totally cool and here's my number!


If a girl is attracted to me, sometimes she'll let me put my penis into her. If she's not attracted to me and I try that, it's all like "I'm calling the cops" and "*psssst* pepper spray to the motherfarking face". Women are mysterious indeed.
 
2013-06-15 03:16:13 AM  

ng2810: harlock: If girl is not attracted to guy, advances are creepy, gross and oh my god why would anyone do that, I can't believe anyone would try that.

If girl is attracted to guy, it's totally cool and here's my number!

So if a guy was being hit on by a grotesque 300 lb. drunk-off-her-ass 50 year old woman full of wrinkles and in a skin-tight dress, he would be all over that?


I wouldn't be all over that, but I wouldn't consider it creepy. I'd politely imply I'm not interested, and move on with my day, maybe even with my self esteem a little higher after someone considered it worthwhile to hit on me. Because I'm not a neurotic psycho.
 
2013-06-15 03:34:18 AM  

Smackledorfer: No, but neither would he make a federal case out of it.

He would probably do some fun light flirting and enjoy the attention despite not having interest.

He definitely wouldn't run to the world as though being hit on is the same as a continued pattern of harrassment.


While I agree with the sentiment, the 300lb goddess is more likely to give up and not be as aggressive as the balding dude who needs Rush viagra. More importantly, most guys should able to outrun/fight her off if she goes too far.

It doesn't apply to every case but women do have more to fear on average.
 
2013-06-15 03:36:50 AM  

Smackledorfer: ng2810: harlock: If girl is not attracted to guy, advances are creepy, gross and oh my god why would anyone do that, I can't believe anyone would try that.

If girl is attracted to guy, it's totally cool and here's my number!

So if a guy was being hit on by a grotesque 300 lb. drunk-off-her-ass 50 year old woman full of wrinkles and in a skin-tight dress, he would be all over that?

No, but neither would he make a federal case out of it.

He would probably do some fun light flirting and enjoy the attention despite not having interest.

He definitely wouldn't run to the world as though being hit on is the same as a continued pattern of harrassment.


but then what would women have to biatch about...it's always something....ever noticed anymore if you're even polite to women a lot of them take that as them being hit on.....stupid biatches with SUPER overinflated egos.
 
2013-06-15 03:38:19 AM  
The good things about Jezebel and linking to it:
...

...


...
 
2013-06-15 03:46:53 AM  
I hate the "Who viewed your profile" feature on LinkedIn because I it makes me look creepy.

// you know you want to click on the hotties as they scroll by
 
2013-06-15 03:49:25 AM  
Rule number one of not being creepy if you show interest in a woman.

-Be attractive. Don't be unattractive.


And no. Men generally don't get creeped out by unattractive women coming on to them. They just say no, or have a few more drinks until it isn't a problem.
 
2013-06-15 04:13:46 AM  
Well don't put "pole dancing" and "hot yoga" on your profile, biatch.  Now that they kicked the real prostitutes off lickedin I have to go back to guessing and shiat like that gets confusing.
 
2013-06-15 06:40:17 AM  
Its seems that many (most?) men are unaware of how creepy they are when they hit on women at inappropriate times.

At a bar after work?  Go ahead!

Almost anywhere else?  Your advances are unwelcome, and you ought to know that already.

Most women get hit on all the time, and it's extremely annoying.  If you don't see how that would be annoying, then you're indulging in your male privilege.  Not that there's anything wrong with having that privilege, of course.  Just be aware of it, and stop pretending that your experience is the same as women's experiences.  Getting hit on when you're trying to do some mundane task is not fun.
 
2013-06-15 06:54:45 AM  

NetOwl: Its seems that many (most?) men are unaware of how creepy they are when they hit on women at inappropriate times.

At a bar after work?  Go ahead!

Almost anywhere else?  Your advances are unwelcome, and you ought to know that already.

Most women get hit on all the time, and it's extremely annoying.  If you don't see how that would be annoying, then you're indulging in your male privilege.  Not that there's anything wrong with having that privilege, of course.  Just be aware of it, and stop pretending that your experience is the same as women's experiences.  Getting hit on when you're trying to do some mundane task is not fun.


You sound like hitting on you at any time would be a mistake, and "getting lucky" would not, in fact, be lucky.
 
2013-06-15 07:25:26 AM  
cdn.ebaumsworld.com
 
2013-06-15 08:18:16 AM  
Wow I assumed most Jezebelers would have difficulty recognizing this as spam, but farkers? I'm disappointed in all of you.
 
2013-06-15 08:36:37 AM  

hiwoman: Wow I assumed most Jezebelers would have difficulty recognizing this as spam, but farkers? I'm disappointed in all of you.


Came here to post it as obvious spam. I get these near daily from 'women' on a language exchange website. But hey, Jezebellers need to be angry about something. They're reverse-hulks, you see.
 
2013-06-15 08:39:45 AM  
Oh noes! I'm given things my whole life (including jobs) because of my looks, but I can't bear to have the attention from men I'm not interested in!

Honey, I'll gladly trade places with you. If attractive women knew what it was like to never be given anything because of their looks, they wouldn't complain.
 
2013-06-15 08:59:58 AM  

NetOwl: Its seems that many (most?) men are unaware of how creepy they are when they hit on women at inappropriate times.

At a bar after work?  Go ahead!

Almost anywhere else?  Your advances are unwelcome, and you ought to know that already.

Most women get hit on all the time, and it's extremely annoying.  If you don't see how that would be annoying, then you're indulging in your male privilege.  Not that there's anything wrong with having that privilege, of course.  Just be aware of it, and stop pretending that your experience is the same as women's experiences.  Getting hit on when you're trying to do some mundane task is not fun.


Let's just accept that it's almost never appropriate to hit on anyone, it's annoying when it's unwanted, it's fine when it's wanted, some men are going to whole hog either way, and that many women, probably most women, feel the need to focus on beauty, makeup and fashion in a semi-conscious effort to attract mates.


I dont know what to take away from this, but to put it poorly, our society employs a predator-prey relationship between men and women and it's probably a little annoying for everyone involved.
 
2013-06-15 09:00:46 AM  

Cagey B: harlock: If girl is not attracted to guy, advances are creepy, gross and oh my god why would anyone do that, I can't believe anyone would try that.

If girl is attracted to guy, it's totally cool and here's my number!

If a girl is attracted to me, sometimes she'll let me put my penis into her. If she's not attracted to me and I try that, it's all like "I'm calling the cops" and "*psssst* pepper spray to the motherfarking face". Women are mysterious indeed.


So asking a girl out who isn't interested in you is now rape?
 
2013-06-15 09:06:57 AM  

Bisu: Oh noes! I'm given things my whole life (including jobs) because of my looks, but I can't bear to have the attention from men I'm not interested in!

Honey, I'll gladly trade places with you. If attractive women knew what it was like to never be given anything because of their looks, they wouldn't complain.


Stranger: "wanna fark?"

Hottie: "No".

Stranger: "biatch!"

Repeat.
 
2013-06-15 09:09:22 AM  

ng2810: harlock: If girl is not attracted to guy, advances are creepy, gross and oh my god why would anyone do that, I can't believe anyone would try that.

If girl is attracted to guy, it's totally cool and here's my number!

So if a guy was being hit on by a grotesque 300 lb. drunk-off-her-ass 50 year old woman full of wrinkles and in a skin-tight dress, he would be all over that?


Well, yea...I don't usually have any trouble. Men are sluts.
 
2013-06-15 09:14:21 AM  

ghare: You sound like hitting on you at any time would be a mistake, and "getting lucky" would not, in fact, be lucky.


I'm married, so hitting on me at any time would, indeed, be a mistake.  If a woman were to hit on me (which never happens anyway), I'm fairly certain my wife would have a flashback to her military training and kill her on the spot.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-06-15 09:15:47 AM  
I didn't spot it as spam, despite receiving similar (but shorter) email regularly, because I didn't know women got that sort of spam. Usually the sender is a 26 year old Russian women looking for a man.
 
2013-06-15 09:18:19 AM  

meanmutton: Cagey B: harlock: If girl is not attracted to guy, advances are creepy, gross and oh my god why would anyone do that, I can't believe anyone would try that.

If girl is attracted to guy, it's totally cool and here's my number!

If a girl is attracted to me, sometimes she'll let me put my penis into her. If she's not attracted to me and I try that, it's all like "I'm calling the cops" and "*psssst* pepper spray to the motherfarking face". Women are mysterious indeed.

So asking a girl out who isn't interested in you is now rape?


shiat is complicated and fear isn't an incredibly unreasonable reaction. I was standing on a subway train holding a bar. My hand slipped and touched a woman's hand. I turned to say sorry and she was gone. I presume this is some sleazy courting ritual I'm unfamiliar with, or she was just crazy. Not exactly pepper spray, but it freaked me out.
 
2013-06-15 09:29:13 AM  

NetOwl: Its seems that many (most?) men are unaware of how creepy they are when they hit on women at inappropriate times.

At a bar after work?  Go ahead!

Almost anywhere else? No problem, as long as you're attractive!


/ftfy
 
2013-06-15 10:00:43 AM  

OhioUGrad: but then what would women have to biatch about...it's always something....ever noticed anymore if you're even polite to women a lot of them take that as them being hit on.....stupid biatches with SUPER overinflated egos.


I think that's true for people in general. I often root for the underdog and as such make a point to say hello or a friendly word to people who are quieter and less outgoing. At work this has lead to a couple men thinking I wanted them. They didn't seem to notice that I extend that courtesy to everyone. Regular men don't hit on me but those ones do after one conversation.
 
2013-06-15 10:11:21 AM  

crab66: Rule number one of not being creepy if you show interest in a woman.

-Be attractive. Don't be unattractive.


And no. Men generally don't get creeped out by unattractive women coming on to them. They just say no, or have a few more drinks until it isn't a problem.


There is a way for even us ugly guys to hit on women without being creepy.
 
2013-06-15 10:15:20 AM  

imgod2u: Smackledorfer: No, but neither would he make a federal case out of it.

He would probably do some fun light flirting and enjoy the attention despite not having interest.

He definitely wouldn't run to the world as though being hit on is the same as a continued pattern of harrassment.

While I agree with the sentiment, the 300lb goddess is more likely to give up and not be as aggressive as the balding dude who needs Rush viagra. More importantly, most guys should able to outrun/fight her off if she goes too far.

It doesn't apply to every case but women do have more to fear on average.


True, but look at tfa; a woman biatching about a single email. One email she can delete and even block. How terrible for her.

I am not defending actual harrassment here.
 
2013-06-15 10:21:09 AM  
American women are assholes.
 
2013-06-15 10:27:04 AM  

Smackledorfer: imgod2u: Smackledorfer: No, but neither would he make a federal case out of it.

He would probably do some fun light flirting and enjoy the attention despite not having interest.

He definitely wouldn't run to the world as though being hit on is the same as a continued pattern of harrassment.

While I agree with the sentiment, the 300lb goddess is more likely to give up and not be as aggressive as the balding dude who needs Rush viagra. More importantly, most guys should able to outrun/fight her off if she goes too far.

It doesn't apply to every case but women do have more to fear on average.

True, but look at tfa; a woman biatching about a single email. One email she can delete and even block. How terrible for her.

I am not defending actual harrassment here.


Generally, socially minded women talk about anything and everything. Writing about it is just an extension of that. It's how women bond, no joke. They tell each other stories that may seem inane or silly on objective observation but its not the content that's the critical part...it's the empathy and relation of the story to the women doing the exchange. In print, women who engage each other that way read such things and understand that this is an amusing and annoying "shared experience". People who don't 'get' this mode of communication...understandably...think its trivial.

Secret, straight guys. Don't want to be in friend mode? Don't engage women in empathic banter, because that level of friend doesn't often cross over into romance. That's why the asshole guys end up with girls. Women love trying to crack into a guy to get him to "relate" to her on that level and if you make it easy then you're no conquest. Even if you're the most sensitive man in the world, if you want a social butterfly as a GF, act as if you don't understand her. She'll only want that in flashes later.
 
2013-06-15 10:31:15 AM  

Cream of Meat: American women are assholes.


How charming of you.
 
2013-06-15 10:56:02 AM  
It's still cool to hit on Farkettes based on their profile though. Right?
 
2013-06-15 11:08:01 AM  
i.chzbgr.com
 
2013-06-15 11:21:48 AM  
Oh wow, it's a Jezebel article written by some dipshiat who ISN'T Lindy West.

/was fully expecting another rant about her giant breasts
 
2013-06-15 11:26:39 AM  

NetOwl: Its seems that many (most?) men are unaware of how creepy they are when they hit on women at inappropriate times.

At a bar after work?  Go ahead!

Almost anywhere else?  Your advances are unwelcome, and you ought to know that already.

Most women get hit on all the time, and it's extremely annoying.  If you don't see how that would be annoying, then you're indulging in your male privilege.  Not that there's anything wrong with having that privilege, of course.  Just be aware of it, and stop pretending that your experience is the same as women's experiences.  Getting hit on when you're trying to do some mundane task is not fun.


This is all true, but they will still argue with you and claim that you just don't find them attractive enough.

Sorry guys, there's no secret double standard going on here. Just you being highly inappropriate, as usual.
 
2013-06-15 11:30:54 AM  

Cream of Meat: American women are assholes.


Go into it with that attitude and I'm shocked, SHOCKED, that panties don't drop everywhere you go.

/wouldn't give a shiatty attitude like yours a second glance
 
2013-06-15 11:53:23 AM  

DO NOT WANT Poster Girl: Generally, socially minded women talk about anything and everything. Writing about it is just an extension of that. It's how women bond, no joke. They tell each other stories that may seem inane or silly on objective observation but its not the content that's the critical part...it's the empathy and relation of the story to the women doing the exchange. In print, women who engage each other that way read such things and understand that this is an amusing and annoying "shared experience". People who don't 'get' this mode of communication...understandably...think its trivial.

Secret, straight guys. Don't want to be in friend mode? Don't engage women in empathic banter, because that level of friend doesn't often cross over into romance. That's why the asshole guys end up with girls. Women love trying to crack into a guy to get him to "relate" to her on that level and if you make it easy then you're no conquest. Even if you're the most sensitive man in the world, if you want a social butterfly as a GF, act as if you don't understand her. She'll only want that in flashes later.


Women be crazy.
 
2013-06-15 12:05:53 PM  

Cream of Meat: American women are assholes.


You're mixing up aggregation and generalization.  Go back to your UML diagrams.
 
2013-06-15 12:46:36 PM  
Oh boo f*cking hoo, somebody hit on you. Jesus...
 
2013-06-15 01:15:24 PM  
A brief poll amongst Jezebel staffers found that most of us have used social media to flirt.

Jezebel staffers approve of flirting?
 
2013-06-15 01:23:43 PM  

Christian Bale: A brief poll amongst Jezebel staffers found that most of us have used social media to flirt.

Jezebel staffers approve of flirting?


Of course. When THEY do it.
 
2013-06-15 01:26:12 PM  
In the comments:

See also: Just because someone would date Bradley Cooper based on looks alone does not entitle you to girls on demand because you think it's fair.

I see, accoding to the new feminism, a guy who hits on a girl or asks her out in the "wrong" way is acting "entitled" and is making a "demand"

This turns a question into a demand, to make it seem like more of a disgusting act. Look at him, he is DEMANDING that she do what he says!
 
2013-06-15 01:39:06 PM  
I guess she doesn't realize this is spam and a scam [link is to similar examples].
 
2013-06-15 01:50:08 PM  
Given the percentage of Jezebel staffer type people in the real world, it's fairly safe to continue being a normal human being and not worrying about whether the most distorted type of feminism to exist has infected the person to whom you're talking.

Now, if you're in a philosophy department building somewhere, beware....

/I say this from experience
//Part of the "oppressive male hegemony" because I held the door for two women and a man one day
///"HOW DARE YOU THINK I CAN'T GET THE DOOR MYSELF!"
 
2013-06-15 02:10:35 PM  

NetOwl: Its seems that many (most?) men are unaware of how creepy they are when they hit on women at inappropriate times.

At a bar after work?  Go ahead!

Almost anywhere else?  Your advances are unwelcome, and you ought to know that already.

Most women get hit on all the time, and it's extremely annoying.  If you don't see how that would be annoying, then you're indulging in your male privilege.  Not that there's anything wrong with having that privilege, of course.  Just be aware of it, and stop pretending that your experience is the same as women's experiences.  Getting hit on when you're trying to do some mundane task is not fun.


I'd like to believe this is true.  Thing is, where I work there are plenty of men and women and yes, flirting does happen.  And of course the unattractive guys are 'being totally unprofessional' when they hit on the women.  But the really good looking guys, you should see the reactions then.  It's all giggles and smiles and 'hey, do you think he likes me?'.  I'm not saying that all women do this, I know that they don't.  But a lot, especially the under 25 crowd, are very guilty of masking their lack of attraction with something else.

And nope, I'm not complaining and saying that it's unfair or anything like that.  It's just that I don't understand why some women have to make it all about the guy being creepy when it's just the guy not being hot enough.  Seems a bit unfair to label someone with a creeper vibe when they didn't do anything wrong.  Although I do concede that some guys are just creepy.
 
2013-06-15 02:24:39 PM  
Henry from LinkedIn meet Rachael from Card Services.  And congratulations on becoming a well-loved meme.
 
2013-06-15 03:20:41 PM  

The My Little Pony Killer: Cream of Meat: American women are assholes.

Go into it with that attitude and I'm shocked, SHOCKED, that panties don't drop everywhere you go.

/wouldn't give a shiatty attitude like yours a second glance


actually that's supposed to work
 
2013-06-15 03:22:03 PM  
they start working for your approval after the insult
 
2013-06-15 04:09:21 PM  

crab66: Men generally don't get creeped out by unattractive women coming on to them. They just say no, or have a few more drinks until it isn't a problem.


If only more women did the same!

/lighten up Francine
 
2013-06-15 06:22:25 PM  

Bedstead Polisher: OhioUGrad: but then what would women have to biatch about...it's always something....ever noticed anymore if you're even polite to women a lot of them take that as them being hit on.....stupid biatches with SUPER overinflated egos.

I think that's true for people in general. I often root for the underdog and as such make a point to say hello or a friendly word to people who are quieter and less outgoing. At work this has lead to a couple men thinking I wanted them. They didn't seem to notice that I extend that courtesy to everyone. Regular men don't hit on me but those ones do after one conversation.


Well, glad to know that it's an annoying two way street.
 
2013-06-15 06:32:22 PM  

NetOwl: Its seems that many (most?) men are unaware of how creepy they are when they hit on women at inappropriate times.

At a bar after work?  Go ahead!

Almost anywhere else?  Your advances are unwelcome, and you ought to know that already.

Most women get hit on all the time, and it's extremely annoying.  If you don't see how that would be annoying, then you're indulging in your male privilege.  Not that there's anything wrong with having that privilege, of course.  Just be aware of it, and stop pretending that your experience is the same as women's experiences.  Getting hit on when you're trying to do some mundane task is not fun.


Don't like it? Try a little more equality, and start hitting on men. When you put the onus on men to initiate the conversation (and that still very much is our culture), you get men hitting on you at times you don't like. We don't have some magical sense of when you're open to it or not- some women are open to the idea of a relationship starting over a random, unplanned moment. The onus is on men to ask and be turned down, so we have to try, and that's going to lead to awkward moments for both parties.

But here's a thought: Maybe if women initiated more of the contact, this would be less of an issue, and everybody would have a better understanding of the boundaries? As a male, it is very, very difficult to judge where the line is, especially since it varies from women to women. And in our culture, men who want relationships are pretty much required to take that risk, and when you have 50% of the human population trying to judge that line, there are going to be some who guess wrong.

C'mon feminists, invite a guy out for a beer sometime. Pick out the guys you want, and see if they're open to it. Yes, that means exposing yourself to rejection. Learn how that can feel, and you might understand why the only guys who ever approach you seem to be assholes.
 
2013-06-15 06:34:46 PM  

Skyrmion: I guess she doesn't realize this is spam and a scam [link is to similar examples].


I just got a friend request from a very attractive women I don't remember meeting on facebook today. Do you think she might really like me?

\Sent a message asking how she knows me.
\\Not particularly expecting a response.
 
2013-06-15 06:53:07 PM  

Cream of Meat: American women are assholes.


Translation: I can't get laid.
 
2013-06-15 07:49:06 PM  
img.photobucket.com
www.krusecontrolinc.com
 
2013-06-15 07:52:41 PM  

The My Little Pony Killer: Cream of Meat: American women are assholes.

Go into it with that attitude and I'm shocked, SHOCKED, that panties don't drop everywhere you go.

/wouldn't give a shiatty attitude like yours a second glance


How did he "go into it with that attitude"?
Did you even read the link?
You sound like the American woman he is talking about.
 
xcv
2013-06-15 10:20:03 PM  

cptjeff: NetOwl: Its seems that many (most?) men are unaware of how creepy they are when they hit on women at inappropriate times.

At a bar after work?  Go ahead!

Almost anywhere else?  Your advances are unwelcome, and you ought to know that already.

Most women get hit on all the time, and it's extremely annoying.  If you don't see how that would be annoying, then you're indulging in your male privilege.  Not that there's anything wrong with having that privilege, of course.  Just be aware of it, and stop pretending that your experience is the same as women's experiences.  Getting hit on when you're trying to do some mundane task is not fun.

Don't like it? Try a little more equality, and start hitting on men. When you put the onus on men to initiate the conversation (and that still very much is our culture), you get men hitting on you at times you don't like. We don't have some magical sense of when you're open to it or not- some women are open to the idea of a relationship starting over a random, unplanned moment. The onus is on men to ask and be turned down, so we have to try, and that's going to lead to awkward moments for both parties.

But here's a thought: Maybe if women initiated more of the contact, this would be less of an issue, and everybody would have a better understanding of the boundaries? As a male, it is very, very difficult to judge where the line is, especially since it varies from women to women. And in our culture, men who want relationships are pretty much required to take that risk, and when you have 50% of the human population trying to judge that line, there are going to be some who guess wrong.

C'mon feminists, invite a guy out for a beer sometime. Pick out the guys you want, and see if they're open to it. Yes, that means exposing yourself to rejection. Learn how that can feel, and you might understand why the only guys who ever approach you seem to be assholes.


Feminists? I think those women are called groupies.
 
2013-06-15 11:38:43 PM  
Don't you guys know that as soon as you hit on a woman you become unattractive?  It is automatically assumed that there is something wrong with you or you want something dirty from her.

/I'm kind of joking...kind of...however, sadly this is kind of the true feelings behind it.  Whether it's "fair" or not is another issue, but I have seen it happen countless times (or felt it myself).  It's not a conscious thing for most women though as far as I can tell.  It's an instinctual protective thing.

The trick is to hit on her without obviously hitting on her.  It's a tricky skill.  However, I will agree that women should make the effort if they find a guy attractive and want him to talk to her.

/Glad I'm happily married and don't have to worry about this stuff.
 
2013-06-16 01:11:29 AM  

PillsHere: Glad I'm happily married and don't have to worry about this stuff.


Yanno, I am too, but I still worry about women being creeped out by me just being friendly, and that's farking annoying, though it makes a good shiatty people filter.
 
2013-06-16 01:15:14 AM  
 Medic Zero:/ She's nasty and likely got the herp, want her number?

That's disgusting.  Try to keep it classy on Fark.

/EIP
 
2013-06-16 03:33:35 AM  

PillsHere: Don't you guys know that as soon as you hit on a woman you become unattractive?  It is automatically assumed that there is something wrong with you or you want something dirty from her.

/I'm kind of joking...kind of...however, sadly this is kind of the true feelings behind it.  Whether it's "fair" or not is another issue, but I have seen it happen countless times (or felt it myself).  It's not a conscious thing for most women though as far as I can tell.  It's an instinctual protective thing.

The trick is to hit on her without obviously hitting on her.  It's a tricky skill.  However, I will agree that women should make the effort if they find a guy attractive and want him to talk to her.

/Glad I'm happily married and don't have to worry about this stuff.


It's kind of amusing. If I go by farkettes, the following is true: 1. Don't ever hit on a woman if she doesn't want me to. 2. Don't be nice to a woman I might want to someday hit on because I'm either friendzoning myself or worse I become 'the nice guy' who is secretly a vile scumbag. 3. If you aren't nice to women, it is because you are a misogynistic woman hater.

/yes yes, I know not all women are the same, just pointing out the silliness of it all. It almost makes one long for the days of arranged marriages.
 
2013-06-16 04:28:00 AM  
I really need to stop clicking on Jezebel links. Very rarely does that site post content that is actually intuitive / interesting / well-written.
 
2013-06-16 12:31:48 PM  

ng2810: harlock: If girl is not attracted to guy, advances are creepy, gross and oh my god why would anyone do that, I can't believe anyone would try that.

If girl is attracted to guy, it's totally cool and here's my number!

So if a guy was being hit on by a grotesque 300 lb. drunk-off-her-ass 50 year old woman full of wrinkles and in a skin-tight dress, he would be all over that?


I actually find it a bit traumatic, since it seems there's always something massively wrong with the women who do hit on me.
 
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