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(Sun Sentinel)   Man sexually assaulted by his masseuse. Before you get too excited, you need to see his mugshot   (sun-sentinel.com) divider line 81
    More: Florida, DNA, massages, massage parlors, Broward Sheriff's Office  
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21063 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Jun 2013 at 12:21 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-06-14 08:56:53 PM  
Why did he not punch the guy. That would be my first reaction.
 
2013-06-14 10:07:47 PM  
Nothing on this guy, long read, but hypnotic read about a Bob Jones graduate let loose on the citizens of southern virginia.

http://phes.co/BOM/summary%20suspensi on/0104000160Order01082004.pdf
 
2013-06-14 10:29:58 PM  
www.trbimg.com

Yeah, penis went there.
 
2013-06-14 10:52:28 PM  
You big dummy.  The word you're looking for is "masseur"
 
2013-06-14 11:07:25 PM  
Did he think it moved?
 
2013-06-14 11:52:22 PM  
images3.wikia.nocookie.net
Ohhhhhh Crichton
 
2013-06-15 12:24:18 AM  
Wait, his mugshot? Why did the arrest the victim? Oh, nevermind, the headline is just horribly written.
 
2013-06-15 12:27:46 AM  
cdn3.sbnation.com

Looks like he finally went along with the massage trailers?
 
2013-06-15 12:30:09 AM  
Yep, that's so hot and sexy!
Geeze, I can see why so many enjoy it//
 
2013-06-15 12:30:32 AM  
I've seen much, much worse.  Depending on my mood, I might've even let him finish.  No guarantees, but I wouldn't have made a scene about it.
 
2013-06-15 12:31:32 AM  
encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com
Knows a thing or two about sexual harassment
 
2013-06-15 12:37:43 AM  

Mandapants: [encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com image 275x183]
Knows a thing or two about sexual harassment


If I came here for this, does that count as a happy ending?

/leaving satisfied
 
2013-06-15 12:38:25 AM  
Where were these masseuses when I was in high school?
 
2013-06-15 12:41:36 AM  
*starts playing dueling banjos*
 
2013-06-15 12:46:58 AM  
Man sexually assaulted by his masseuse. Before you get too excited, you need to see his mugshot

i7.photobucket.com
 
2013-06-15 12:50:18 AM  
Was the masseur separated at birth from Tom Sizemore?
 
2013-06-15 12:54:08 AM  

Bucky Katt: You big dummy.  The word you're looking for is "masseur"


Yup. A male massager is called a masseur, a female a masseuse. But we could go non-sexist and call someone who gives massages a massager, regardless of sex, gender, and/or liver function.
 
2013-06-15 12:56:41 AM  

Mandapants: [encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com image 275x183]
Knows a thing or two about sexual harassment


Came for Roy being kissed n the bottom.

Leaving spent.
 
2013-06-15 12:58:20 AM  
"The customer said he immediately flipped onto his stomach as Price left the room."

The customer needs to work on his reaction time because at that point I'm afraid you're closing the barn door after the horse is gone.
 
2013-06-15 12:58:25 AM  
MrHappyRotter:

I've seen much, much worse.  Depending on my mood, I might've even let him finish.  No guarantees, but I wouldn't have made a scene about it.

I might have made a small scene and left in a huff, but I wouldn't be filing charges. It's just that he's so Not My Type. He might well be better looking than me and it might be the only BJ I'll get for the next 30 years, but I just don't go for chubby guys with beards. Or gals either.

Lindsay Lohan, OTOH...
 
2013-06-15 12:58:27 AM  

feckingmorons: Why did he not punch the guy. That would be my first reaction.


If your penis is in his mouth, do not punch.
 
2013-06-15 12:59:56 AM  
Nope nope nope nope
 
2013-06-15 01:01:39 AM  

C18H27NO3: "The customer said he immediately flipped onto his stomach as Price left the room."

The customer needs to work on his reaction time because at that point I'm afraid you're closing the barn door after the horse is gone.


Also, this could be interpreted as an invitation of an entirely different sort.

:oP
 
2013-06-15 01:07:05 AM  
smitty, when you need to keep the sex of the person giving the massage hidden, go with massage therapist.  Then you get the expected surprise but without looking like a dumbass.
 
2013-06-15 01:07:52 AM  
Of course he did, the goatee was a giveaway.
 
2013-06-15 01:12:29 AM  

The One True TheDavid: Bucky Katt: You big dummy.  The word you're looking for is "masseur"

Yup. A male massager is called a masseur, a female a masseuse. But we could go non-sexist and call someone who gives massages a massager, regardless of sex, gender, and/or liver function.


A massager is the polite name for a vibrator. Let's stick with either masseur, masseuse, or massage therapist.
 
2013-06-15 01:21:34 AM  
Travolta is fueling up his jet.
 
2013-06-15 01:25:04 AM  
they give out felonies for anything nowadays
 
2013-06-15 01:25:49 AM  
t3.gstatic.com
 
2013-06-15 01:27:04 AM  
Never go to Louis CK's dentist.

s.mcstatic.com
 
2013-06-15 01:27:26 AM  
You're getting a BJ and freak out? A mouth is a mouth sweetie.
 
2013-06-15 01:31:19 AM  
I've had a couple professional massages, and I just can't imagine actually falling asleep during one.  Relaxing, yes, but actually falling asleep? To the point i wouldn't notice if someone was messing with my junk?  I don't think so.
 
2013-06-15 01:36:28 AM  

Quantum Apostrophe: [cdn3.sbnation.com image 178x271]

Looks like he finally went along with the massage trailers?


Came here for Julian

lulz
 
2013-06-15 01:44:51 AM  

Peter von Nostrand: Did he think it moved?


It think it moved, Jerry.
 
2013-06-15 01:45:53 AM  

Podmore: I've had a couple professional massages, and I just can't imagine actually falling asleep during one.  Relaxing, yes, but actually falling asleep? To the point i wouldn't notice if someone was messing with my junk?  I don't think so.


Only once did I fall asleep, it was the night after my bachelor party.  I have my doubts that she assaulted me, but if she had I wouldn't have made a single complaint....
 
2013-06-15 01:50:09 AM  
DNA linked suspect seven months later

Euw. What, did it dry and stick them together?
 
2013-06-15 01:53:13 AM  
I hate you so hard, subby.

/my eyes...need more bleach
 
2013-06-15 01:56:31 AM  
Their site requires, like, 30 script servers.  Ain't nobody got time for that!
 
2013-06-15 01:56:45 AM  
See, this is why I'd only get a massage from a chick.
If I woke up and a dude was sexually assaulting me, I'd almost certainly assault him in an extremely non-sexual way.


swingbozo: You're getting a BJ and freak out? A mouth is a mouth sweetie.


Well that seems rather insensitive.  This is absolutely untrue to someone who is strictly heterosexual.  I'd sooner have another guy kick me in the junk than play with it.
That's fine that you're not picky; I am 100% understanding and non-judgmental of anyone and everyone all up and down the Kinsey scale.
However, I also think it's fair to expect the same consideration and understanding from people with different sexual proclivities than I.
 
2013-06-15 02:01:23 AM  
Am I missing something? How does one give a bj and there wind up being his DNA as evidence? Did he also engage in anal while the customer slept? DNA from the guys saliva, maybe?
 
2013-06-15 02:02:41 AM  

ArcadianRefugee: DNA linked suspect seven months later

Euw. What, did it dry and stick them together?


one internet for you
 
2013-06-15 02:04:44 AM  

you are a puppet: Where were these masseuses when I was in high school?


Hanging out with the teachers who also wouldn't have sex with you in high school. ;)
 
2013-06-15 02:11:45 AM  

dictyboy: Am I missing something? How does one give a bj and there wind up being his DNA as evidence? Did he also engage in anal while the customer slept? DNA from the guys saliva, maybe?


Epithelial cells I'd imagine. Like the kind they swab your mouth for.
 
2013-06-15 02:19:43 AM  
Even though the guy in the first pic might suffocate because the Saran Wrap is too tight, I still laughed because of the boobs they drew on him. Funny stuff...RIP.
 
2013-06-15 02:23:47 AM  

swingbozo: You're getting a BJ and freak out? A mouth is a mouth sweetie.


No! No it is not!
 
2013-06-15 02:25:06 AM  

Mark Ratner: Peter von Nostrand: Did he think it moved?

It think it moved, Jerry.


filipinofreethinkers.org

Okay, now show me on the doll where he touched you.
Slowly.
 
2013-06-15 02:39:09 AM  

Podmore: I've had a couple professional massages, and I just can't imagine actually falling asleep during one.  Relaxing, yes, but actually falling asleep? To the point i wouldn't notice if someone was messing with my junk?  I don't think so.


Sleeper here. Out cold. I understand being that out of it. The best sleep I've ever had has been on the table. Not only do I fall asleep, but I'm too relaxed afterwards to drive home.
 
2013-06-15 02:40:03 AM  

dictyboy: Am I missing something? How does one give a bj and there wind up being his DNA as evidence? Did he also engage in anal while the customer slept? DNA from the guys saliva, maybe?


Probably. They can get DNA off cigarette butts, so I'm guessing they could get it off a penis.
 
2013-06-15 02:59:16 AM  

C18H27NO3: "The customer said he immediately flipped onto his stomach as Price left the room."

The customer needs to work on his reaction time because at that point I'm afraid you're closing the barn door after the horse is gone.


He had to wait for him to finish.
 
2013-06-15 03:09:52 AM  
Guys should never get a massage from another man.
Women should always get a massage from a hot woman.
Those are the rules.
 
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