If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(The Detroit_News)   Detroit to lower property taxes, which will cause people to flock to live in the city   (detroitnews.com) divider line 128
    More: Unlikely, Detroit, Orr, property taxes, emergency managers  
•       •       •

3194 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Jun 2013 at 2:49 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



128 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-06-14 06:07:26 PM

Buttknuckle: I have been looking for a job and received a call the other day that went like this:

Caller:  "Mr. Buttknuckle, we have several positions that you would be a great fit.  Are you willing to relocate?"

Me:  "Oh sure.  I have no dependents and am open to a new environment."

Caller: "Fantastic.  We have a terrific position available in Detroit."

Me: "No.  I meant I would relocate anywhere but Detroit."

Caller:  "Understood.  I figured."


Depending on the money, pick up a cheap apartment in the burbs and catch Amtrak to Chicago every once in a while.  Deal with the $20K/year disconnect (see my above post) by dropping it into an investment account and in 5 years use that to make a down payment somewhere you actually want to live.

/Or do what everyone else does and get a cheap house in Detroit and a cottage or two on a lake somewhere in the fingers or the UP.  Detroit sucks.  Michigan is real pretty.
 
2013-06-14 06:18:23 PM
Why are there even property taxes there to begin with? Ever heard the phrase "You can't get blood from a turnip"?
 
2013-06-14 06:37:48 PM

jaytkay: bullsballs: As soon as those taxes drop, I'm buying the old packard plant and building some fine automobiles!

The Packard property is up for auction in September. It's extremely unlikely to sell for the full tax bill ($975,000).

So then the price drops to $21,500 in auction round two.

Link


I lived in a city where a mall was up for auction. The local county auditor valued the property at $68 million. I LOL'd. So, in order to sell it at foreclosure under state law, it had to be sold starting no lower than 2/3 the property value. Not ONE. FARKING. BID. And I can't blame them. So, the bank brings in, with judge approval, an actual expert in valuing retail properties. He puts the value of the property at a whopping $1.3 million. Auditors are farking idiots sometimes I swear.
 
2013-06-14 06:50:30 PM

ZeroCorpse: How to make Detroit better:

1. Legalize gambling, brothels (taxed and regulated prostitution within a licensed establishment), and marijuana within city limits.

2. Give tax incentives to businesses who wish to operate within the city. Woo organizations that would like to build casinos, hash bars, and brothels.

3. Basically let organized crime move into town and set up business. Put the expected amount of pressure on them, but know that the cops will probably all be on their payroll at some point.

4. Watch tourists flock to the area to spend lots of money, which will be taxed.

5. Watch as the mobsters wipe out the street crime by either crushing the gangs, or assuming control of them and preventing them from terrorizing paying customers and tourists.

6. Accept that since Detroit is going to have crime, that at least organized crime/mobsters are generally good businessmen who don't commit random acts of violence or want to see their neighborhoods become rundown pits after pocketing all the city's money, as opposed to the gangbangers and criminals that rule Detroit now.

7. Watch Michigan finally get their damned roads fixed after seeing a huge spike in tax revenue from taxed weed, prostitution, and gambling establishments.

8. Cross your fingers and hope that as a result, Michigan is annexed by Canada, so we can finally have universal health care, milk in bags, and justification for all the Tim Horton's around here.


This is quite possibly the most laughable thing I have read in this thread. Starting with point 1.
 
2013-06-14 06:57:34 PM
The unsustainability of endless growth, especially after the last haircut we got from Wall St. almost dismantled the entire economy, is being reflected by the fact that renewal, rebuilding, repurposing and scaling things back to a usable community sized scope is about the only growth there is.  People WANT to live in tidy, productive safe communities that aren't festooned with gargantuan buildings that nobody uses.

When you stop making stuff AND everybody's office fits into a laptop bag, you don't NEED buildings for anything but people to live in and buy stuff at, or house utilities and medicinal facilities.

If anybody starts promising new "growth" from some brick an mortar clusterf*ck they will build on the site on an old brick and mortar leviathan that is in ruins, run them out of town on a rail  The town is irrelevant.

Poor people be f*ckin'.  And they aren't going to get in on the game and the people running the game are abandoning their "my architectural dick is bigger than yours" vanity palaces.  Skyscrapers, malls, factories.  All of them mostly redundant.  We have to start  looking at what comprises a community, a neighborhood and a city and which bits do and do not need to be under roofs and why.  It's time to fire the architects and designers and feng shui mooks and pick up a broom and a shovel.
 
2013-06-14 07:00:24 PM

jayphat: jaytkay: bullsballs: As soon as those taxes drop, I'm buying the old packard plant and building some fine automobiles!

The Packard property is up for auction in September. It's extremely unlikely to sell for the full tax bill ($975,000).

So then the price drops to $21,500 in auction round two.

Link

I lived in a city where a mall was up for auction. The local county auditor valued the property at $68 million. I LOL'd. So, in order to sell it at foreclosure under state law, it had to be sold starting no lower than 2/3 the property value. Not ONE. FARKING. BID. And I can't blame them. So, the bank brings in, with judge approval, an actual expert in valuing retail properties. He puts the value of the property at a whopping $1.3 million. Auditors are farking idiots sometimes I swear.


With a quick reading, I though you were responding to yourself and was really, really confused.
 
2013-06-14 07:11:24 PM

Ethertap: Properties in Detroit are worth enough money to pay taxes on?


Came here to aks that very quarstion.
 
2013-06-14 07:25:04 PM

jayphat: ZeroCorpse: How to make Detroit better:

1. Legalize gambling, brothels (taxed and regulated prostitution within a licensed establishment), and marijuana within city limits.

2. Give tax incentives to businesses who wish to operate within the city. Woo organizations that would like to build casinos, hash bars, and brothels.

3. Basically let organized crime move into town and set up business. Put the expected amount of pressure on them, but know that the cops will probably all be on their payroll at some point.

4. Watch tourists flock to the area to spend lots of money, which will be taxed.

5. Watch as the mobsters wipe out the street crime by either crushing the gangs, or assuming control of them and preventing them from terrorizing paying customers and tourists.

6. Accept that since Detroit is going to have crime, that at least organized crime/mobsters are generally good businessmen who don't commit random acts of violence or want to see their neighborhoods become rundown pits after pocketing all the city's money, as opposed to the gangbangers and criminals that rule Detroit now.

7. Watch Michigan finally get their damned roads fixed after seeing a huge spike in tax revenue from taxed weed, prostitution, and gambling establishments.

8. Cross your fingers and hope that as a result, Michigan is annexed by Canada, so we can finally have universal health care, milk in bags, and justification for all the Tim Horton's around here.

This is quite possibly the most laughable thing I have read in this thread. Starting with point 1.


But don't we already have a Chicago?
 
2013-06-14 07:31:52 PM
No city run by dems ever lowered taxes. That must be a misprint or the writer is playing a joke.
They probably meant Detroit to raise takes again, give the dem lawmakers higher pay, give the govt workers more benifits and ask uncle sugar for more help to pay the bills.
 
2013-06-14 07:35:28 PM

dead: jayphat: ZeroCorpse: How to make Detroit better:

1. Legalize gambling, brothels (taxed and regulated prostitution within a licensed establishment), and marijuana within city limits.

2. Give tax incentives to businesses who wish to operate within the city. Woo organizations that would like to build casinos, hash bars, and brothels.

3. Basically let organized crime move into town and set up business. Put the expected amount of pressure on them, but know that the cops will probably all be on their payroll at some point.

4. Watch tourists flock to the area to spend lots of money, which will be taxed.

5. Watch as the mobsters wipe out the street crime by either crushing the gangs, or assuming control of them and preventing them from terrorizing paying customers and tourists.

6. Accept that since Detroit is going to have crime, that at least organized crime/mobsters are generally good businessmen who don't commit random acts of violence or want to see their neighborhoods become rundown pits after pocketing all the city's money, as opposed to the gangbangers and criminals that rule Detroit now.

7. Watch Michigan finally get their damned roads fixed after seeing a huge spike in tax revenue from taxed weed, prostitution, and gambling establishments.

8. Cross your fingers and hope that as a result, Michigan is annexed by Canada, so we can finally have universal health care, milk in bags, and justification for all the Tim Horton's around here.

This is quite possibly the most laughable thing I have read in this thread. Starting with point 1.

But don't we already have a Chicago?


Honestly, if this guy thinks that legalizing something that is already wildly available to the population so he can "tax it" is going to be the magic bullet to solve these problems, then he needs his head examined.
 
2013-06-14 07:35:31 PM
MichiganFTL:Yeah, anything outside of that sucks, but there's no reason to go to those parts anyway unless you are looking for drugs and/or to drop off a body.

Any more specific info on where for the dope and drop?
A friend wants to know.
 
2013-06-14 07:50:48 PM

JohnTuttle: mike_d85: forteblast: Wouldn't have helped, he lived near the river. Speaking of which... you really miss Meijer when you leave Michigan.

Please tell me it's called Meijer General Store.

It's called Meijer. Meijer Thrifty Acres if you're old enough to remember (not that anyone called it that back then). We used to drive 20 minutes to get to the nearest Meijer (in Saginaw, from Auburn) because they offered better deals than the local IGA.


Heh...haven't heard that in awhile. We used to drive around 30 minutes or so to our nearest one. My favorite part was the penny horse rides out front.
 
2013-06-14 08:10:16 PM

Launch Code: No city run by dems ever lowered taxes.


No, No anything run by anybody lowered taxes AND lowered services/shuttered bureaucracy to do anything other than run up massive deficits after they lowered taxes (except some of the crazier red states, and they've taken that so far it's counterproductive).

/How the fark do the Europeans make rent?  Cause a major city apartment is about $2K, and if you're at 50% taxes, you're making $4K just to pay the rent, which is well above the per capita average income for a lot of places.   Does everyone just get like 12 roommates?
 
2013-06-14 08:26:45 PM
Last year, I happen to come home from work and the county tax accessor was in my driveway. I pointed out that the house next door was vacant, and had 10 foot tall weeds. I pointed out that the house across the street just sold for $75K so my house can't be worth that much. He asked if it was a foreclosure sale and I told him it was. He laughed and said they don't take foreclosure sales into consideration, and the vacant house next store doesn't mean squat,  when valuing adjoining property. So, once again, I get hosed on my property taxes.
 
2013-06-14 08:34:55 PM

thecpt: Also, how unimaginative is your transportation department? The People Mover?


I call it "the crime-flinger!
 
2013-06-14 08:40:19 PM
Detroit ranked first among the 50 largest U.S. cities in taxes and last among property values

Ooga booga democrats want death by ooga booga for everyone!

www.detroitmi.gov
Why would anyone go from an income tax free suburb to live in a hell hole like Detroit is completely inexplicable unless you're as short sighted and corrupt as these leeches.  I just don't understand why they don't loot everything that isn't nailed down in Detroit, get their retirement as a single 7 figure lump sum out of the slush fund and disappear into some extradition free sandy beach tropical paradise like Morocco.  Maybe there are some more drops of blood to be sucked out of the corpse yet. Michigan should revoke the city charter and let the bond holders take a well deserved bath just as an object lesson in fiscal responsibility.
 
2013-06-14 09:18:20 PM

Pick: Last year, I happen to come home from work and the county tax assessor was in my driveway. I pointed out that the house next door was vacant, and had 10 foot tall weeds. I pointed out that the house across the street just sold for $75K so my house can't be worth that much. He asked if it was a foreclosure sale and I told him it was. He laughed and said they don't take foreclosure sales into consideration, and the vacant house next store doesn't mean squat,  when valuing adjoining property. So, once again, I get hosed on my property taxes.


Begging your pardon, as I have never bought a home so I am not familiar. What does the assessor use to determine your rate? It sounds like some weird set of deductive reasoning.

/honestly asking, and deathly afraid to get a mortgage (even in my late thirties)
 
2013-06-14 09:31:26 PM

Rip Dashrock: MichiganFTL:Yeah, anything outside of that sucks, but there's no reason to go to those parts anyway unless you are looking for drugs and/or to drop off a body.

Any more specific info on where for the dope and drop?
A friend wants to know.


8 mile east, pass dequinder then warner,  first party store on the right.
 
2013-06-14 10:06:19 PM

thecpt: StreetlightInTheGhetto: thecpt: Also, how unimaginative is your transportation department? The People Mover?

I had a keychain for awhile that celebrated the first anniversary of the People Mover and said "THANKS FOR RIDING THE SKY!" on it.  Then it broke and I lost it.

When I was a little kid, riding that thing in circles was a crazy cheap way for my Dad to keep us entertained.  The only time it's ever actually been useful for me is going to Greektown to get food while working a convention at Cobo.  So, um, one weekend.  Took it from the Ren Cen to Greektown as well but at that point you might as well just walk it.

I mean thank gawd it was there. After stuffing myself with gyros, saganaki, and baclava how the hell was I going to waddle my suddenly top heavy self all the way to tiger stadium/comerica?


My wife and I did that very thing last Saturday. Went to the New Parthenon. I remember it being better.

The game was good, though.
 
2013-06-14 10:25:30 PM

JohnTuttle: mike_d85: forteblast: Wouldn't have helped, he lived near the river. Speaking of which... you really miss Meijer when you leave Michigan.

Please tell me it's called Meijer General Store.

It's called Meijer. Meijer Thrifty Acres if you're old enough to remember (not that anyone called it that back then). We used to drive 20 minutes to get to the nearest Meijer (in Saginaw, from Auburn) because they offered better deals than the local IGA.


Woah, woah, woah!!

You didn't go to the Saginaw meijer from Auburn, you went to the Bay City meijer. Way closer, way safer. Unless you're talking a really long time ago.
 
2013-06-14 10:48:17 PM
jayphat
Why are there even property taxes there to begin with?

To ensure that dollars have value by forcing everyone to need some.
 
HBK
2013-06-14 11:15:52 PM

ZeroCorpse: How to make Detroit better:

1. Legalize gambling, brothels (taxed and regulated prostitution within a licensed establishment), and marijuana within city limits.

2. Give tax incentives to businesses who wish to operate within the city. Woo organizations that would like to build casinos, hash bars, and brothels.

3. Basically let organized crime move into town and set up business. Put the expected amount of pressure on them, but know that the cops will probably all be on their payroll at some point.

4. Watch tourists flock to the area to spend lots of money, which will be taxed.

5. Watch as the mobsters wipe out the street crime by either crushing the gangs, or assuming control of them and preventing them from terrorizing paying customers and tourists.

6. Accept that since Detroit is going to have crime, that at least organized crime/mobsters are generally good businessmen who don't commit random acts of violence or want to see their neighborhoods become rundown pits after pocketing all the city's money, as opposed to the gangbangers and criminals that rule Detroit now.

7. Watch Michigan finally get their damned roads fixed after seeing a huge spike in tax revenue from taxed weed, prostitution, and gambling establishments.

8. Cross your fingers and hope that as a result, Michigan is annexed by Canada, so we can finally have universal health care, milk in bags, and justification for all the Tim Horton's around here.


First of all, you do realize that there are several casinos already in Detroit, right?

Second of all, for some reason you imagine organized crime as an episode of the Sopranos. It's not that. Gangs are organized crime, and gangs are already prevalent throughout Detroit. Do you really think some mobsters are going to be able to come in and rid the city of the street gangs?

Third of all, legalizing marijuana would do nothing for the city. If a marijuana aficionado wanted to smoke legally, that stoner could go to Colorado or Washington and not have to be worried about being robbed or murdered.

Fourth of all, any increase in tax revenue will likely be swallowed up by the corrupt politicians.
 
2013-06-15 12:00:17 AM

RanDomino: jayphat
Why are there even property taxes there to begin with?

To ensure that dollars have value by forcing everyone to need some.


coachotis.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-06-15 01:32:38 AM
bunner

well actually I misread that and missed the second "there" that meant the reference was to Detroit specifically, in which case a better answer is probably "because institutions and bureaucracies full of people who have had things working out just fine want to keep things the same, because if everything is good now (for them) then change is potentially bad"
 
2013-06-15 01:45:20 AM
I think the point is it's all just bad IOUs and if you need to have some to have a roof over your head, voila.  Instant sweat  equity in, and demand for, your debt notes.
 
2013-06-15 08:11:40 AM
We, the corporations, are ready to build a new city here in Detroit. Our plan, which began fifty years ago, is now almost complete. The entire city will soon be under our control. The government, desperate for jobs and money, is willing to give us big tax breaks and build roads and parks for us. We have successfully raised taxes, increased living costs, and used eminent domain and other legal and illegal means to force the residents to sell out and get out. The new city will be built according to our design and concept. We took land away from the natives, and now we are taking it from the disenfranchised and uneducated black underclass that currently lives in the slum that is Detroit. We have a clean slate with which to start fresh.

Here is how our plan has worked:

After World War II, our victorious soldiers came home from Asia and Europe. We needed to build new houses so they could start families. The city was packed with old houses, which cost too much to fix. We simply let them go to ruin.

We designed and built generic houses so that everyone could fill them with the exact same things. We generated tremendous economic gain because people bought new things for their new houses: refrigerators, ovens, heaters, air conditioners, furniture, bathrooms, washers, dryers, lawn mowers, swimming pools, and more. As long as we made new things, people bought them.

We then built bigger, more expensive houses, farther and farther away from the city. People bought the newer houses and filled them again, with our newer products. We successfully made consumerism a mass addiction.

But we needed to do more; we needed to keep the newly created, massive white middle class in constant motion to increase our profits exponentially. So we realized that our plan would require nothing less than the total destruction of the city of Detroit.

We realized that the best method to reclaim land other than by force was to exploit urban fears and racial hatred. Through media control and manipulation, we've created an unquestioned impression that all domestic violence and other urban ills are caused by black people.

Also, we designed exit ramps of the highways in Detroit so they could be closed easily and quickly; this way, inner city crime, chaos, ruin, and riots could be contained, ensuring that people would burn their own neighborhoods.

Then we moved all our big factories out of Detroit, and then all other businesses, stores, and even gas stations followed us. But we let the liquor stores stay, to successfully pollute the mind and soul of city people. We've made damn sure that it's easier to get guns, drugs, and sex in Detroit than voter registration. We let the people there just keep on killing each other. We made Detroit so violent that people continue to flee from it, just like from a war zone. With their lives in danger, city residents sell their properties fast and low.

This set the stage for the disinvestment and total abandonment of the inner city. It became impossible to build new houses and buildings there because nobody would loan the money. All new houses and buildings were built exclusively in the suburbs.

We've also undermined Detroit's education system by pulling out funds and corrupting school officials. We've crowded the classes, paid less to teachers, and supplied no new books nor built new libraries. Our goal has been to make the entire population of Detroit illiterate and unqualified for any professional work.

As education failed and jobs moved out, the inner city became bankrupt. Public buildings and houses have been abandoned by the hundreds of thousands. We let them all rot or we burned them. Thus we have created an extremely inhospitable and dangerous environment, which has infected the whole population with an inescapable hopelessness. This has driven the land price down further and further. So low, that land in Detroit is now practically free.

To better control the population, we had to educate some of the city residents. They now help us oversee the rest of the people. That's how things were done with the slaves, and we continue that practice today. They work hard and long hours, always hoping that the American dream someday will take them to the suburbs. But we will keep them locked up in the city, just like we do with the natives on the reservations.

Occasionally, we've given the city some money, but never quite enough. All the city departments fight among themselves for it, and this has bred wide-scale corruption and graft in Detroit. No public money ever gets to the people that need it. But it has made us look generous and compassionate, while our goal of the complete destruction of the inner city continues, uninterrupted and unsuspected.

We have moved out, but we are coming back. Our plan has taken about fifty years to completely destroy Detroit and its population, at no cost to us or our shareholders. Most of the buildings and houses have been burnt or demolished, and it won't take much more to "clear cut" the rest of them. With so many vacant lots and open spaces, the city now looks more like the countryside. A tabula rasa has been created, so that we can take back the city dirt cheap.

Using this plan, we have successfully tested new techniques of profitable land seizure, without resorting to the costly use of armed force. Hidden by countless layers of economic agreements and legal manipulations, we have written a new chapter of colonialism, with techniques deeply embedded in the automated global matrix of advanced capitalism.

The purpose of this plan has been to establish the next form of government. Detroit is the place where the secret revolution of corporations is being realized.


http://artefact.mi2.hr/_a04/lang_en/theory_park_en.htm
 
2013-06-15 09:01:08 AM
While it probably won't attract new residents, it very well may help keep some from moving out.
 
2013-06-15 11:59:10 PM
Magnanimous_J:
Rebuild Detroit from the inside out.

What all of you keep forgetting is; the problem with Detroit is Detroiters.

None of these plans will work as long as the current population demographic
remains the same, Detroiters are the reason the city is a ghetto.

And by "Detroiters" I mean exactly who you think I mean.

This space reserved for the predictable accusations of racism:
{________________________________________________}
 
Displayed 28 of 128 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report