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(Des Moines Register)   Have an excessive weed problem? Deploy some goats. And when you have an excessive goat problem, deploy goat-eating snakes. Then, deploy snake-eating gorillas. Then, when wintertime rolls around, the gorillas will simply freeze to death   (desmoinesregister.com) divider line 46
    More: PSA, Monty Hall problem, weed problem, goats, snakes  
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4521 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Jun 2013 at 9:28 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



46 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-06-14 09:30:17 AM
Or you could just kill the goats yourself.  Or rent the area out to hunters.

//goat is delicious.
 
2013-06-14 09:33:31 AM
I never understood why we waste gas to trim lawns when we could use goats and raise meat at the same time.
 
2013-06-14 09:33:36 AM
www.anda.jor.br

Don't forget to parachute in teh kittehs when the rodent problem gets too bad.
 
2013-06-14 09:33:45 AM
Excessive Weed Problem?  I don't think so.
 
2013-06-14 09:34:29 AM
What about an insufficient weed problem? Got a goat that poops weed?
 
2013-06-14 09:37:40 AM

picturescrazy: I never understood why we waste gas to trim lawns when we could use goats and raise meat at the same time.


Because I don't want to take care of goats. Goats will also eat all of your flowers.
 
2013-06-14 09:38:05 AM
Goddammit. Every time I have a witty, sarcastic retort to a headline, someone has already used it!

Bastards...
 
2013-06-14 09:38:48 AM
I was going to semi retire as a goat farmer. Get some land, goats and milk 'em for cheese and milk. Then I found out what happens when mommy goat births a billy goat. I got a little gruff. Maybe the unwanted billies could be rented out to solve the weed problem.
 
2013-06-14 09:39:25 AM
Pot Thread ?
 
2013-06-14 09:42:11 AM
wait wait wait, gorillas don't eat goats do they?

I was in a mexican restaurant for a birthday party once and we went past closing time. They didn't kick us out though. The staff did start cooking a whole goat right in front of us, head and all, boiled it.

so i'm getting a kick out of this

/true story
 
2013-06-14 09:43:19 AM

picturescrazy: I never understood why we waste gas to trim lawns when we could use goats and raise meat at the same time.


AND FETA CHEESE!! THINK OF THE MOUNTAINS OF ALL NATURAL AND PUNGENT FETA TO BE HAD

/BIG LETTERS FOR BIG CHEESE AND BIG GREEK SALADS
//but no olives
///they taste like feet
 
2013-06-14 09:43:47 AM

picturescrazy: I never understood why we waste gas to trim lawns when we could use goats and raise meat at the same time.


some do. don't know what they do with goats in the winter. and there's goat poo to contend with. things get complicated.
 
2013-06-14 09:44:13 AM

TheraTx: wait wait wait, gorillas don't eat goats do they?

I was in a mexican restaurant for a birthday party once and we went past closing time. They didn't kick us out though. The staff did start cooking a whole goat right in front of us, head and all, boiled it.

so i'm getting a kick out of this

/true story


I think that's how they make pinatas
 
2013-06-14 09:45:14 AM

picturescrazy: I never understood why we waste gas to trim lawns when we could use goats and raise meat at the same time.


Old and busted: urban chickens. New hotness: urban goats.
 
2013-06-14 09:55:02 AM

j.lunatic: picturescrazy: I never understood why we waste gas to trim lawns when we could use goats and raise meat at the same time.

Old and busted: urban chickens. New hotness: urban goats.


I'd do it but Cleveland has lot size requirements. I don't have enough grass to feed two goats but enough room for them to be happy. I'd have no problem supplementing their diet with feed and my shed is more than big enough to comfortably house them. I'd just need to make minor improvements to keep it warm in the winter. I know not everyone wants goats but I'd let my next door neighbors borrow them for their lawn too.

I realize I sound like a weirdo now but I think it'll be pretty common for our grandkids.
 
2013-06-14 09:55:53 AM

j.lunatic: picturescrazy: I never understood why we waste gas to trim lawns when we could use goats and raise meat at the same time.

Old and busted: urban chickens. New hotness: urban goats.


It's actually old and busted too.  Small time farmers around the Mid Atlantic have been doing this for a while now.  Hiring out a small herd to developments that don't want to pay for teams landscapers to mow.  They're quiet (compared to leaf blowers and weed wackers), kids like to look at them and cheaper (since the farmer really only has to pay for gas in transporting them around and gets free feed out of it, but sometimes pays a farm hand to watch them so they don't run off.

I'm sure someone is getting their panties in a bunch over this somewhere but tell people it's goats or their HOA fees are going up and it's goats every time.
 
2013-06-14 10:02:50 AM
You know who else has an excessive weed problem....
2.bp.blogspot.com
My mom.
 
2013-06-14 10:02:53 AM
Not a baa-aa-aad solution.


/Sorry, I'll leave now...
 
2013-06-14 10:05:11 AM
Where did the whole "Then, when wintertime rolls around, the gorillas will simply freeze to death" come from???
 
2013-06-14 10:05:29 AM

Arkanaut: Or you could just kill the goats yourself.  Or rent the area out to hunters.

//goat is delicious.


Yeah, I was thinking, there's got to be an Indian restaurant around that would love a good supply of fresh goat.

I don't know what they do to it, but they make goat taste goooood.
 
2013-06-14 10:06:36 AM

picturescrazy: j.lunatic: picturescrazy: I never understood why we waste gas to trim lawns when we could use goats and raise meat at the same time.

Old and busted: urban chickens. New hotness: urban goats.

I'd do it but Cleveland has lot size requirements. I don't have enough grass to feed two goats but enough room for them to be happy. I'd have no problem supplementing their diet with feed and my shed is more than big enough to comfortably house them. I'd just need to make minor improvements to keep it warm in the winter. I know not everyone wants goats but I'd let my next door neighbors borrow them for their lawn too.

I realize I sound like a weirdo now but I think it'll be pretty common for our grandkids.


Make sure you research goat containment systems.  They are escape artists and are good jumpers.  You will need a non-trivial fence to keep them in, or would need to keep them on a leash at all times.
 
2013-06-14 10:11:39 AM
Don't let your goat eat your weed. They can't handle the bu-u-u-u-uuz.
 
2013-06-14 10:13:04 AM

Arkanaut: Or you could just kill the goats yourself.  Or rent the area out to hunters.

//goat is delicious.


did a loin rack of goat on the grill a few weeks back with a rub. amazingly tasty and tender meat. no idea why its not more popular and easy to get in the states
 
2013-06-14 10:19:25 AM
I deploy extra-large rolling papers and party invitations.
 
2013-06-14 10:22:36 AM
I've been thinking about this sort of stuff way too much lately, I blame Allan Savory's TED talk on using grazing animals to reverse desertification.  Really pretty fascinating stuff and a bit of an eye opener, which is odd because it's so got damned obvious but we've kind of got out of touch with the basics of topsoil and land preservation as our agrarian culture has become industrialized.
 
2013-06-14 10:50:48 AM
The question was asked "why is goat meat not more popular in the states?"  Entirely the federal government's fault.  Under law, all meat of any kind must be inspected and stamped by a federal inspector.  And the inspectors are species specific.  A pig inspector cannot ok a chicken, etc. There are only a few goat meat inspectors nationwide so only a few facilities are licenced to slaughter goats, so the meat is hard to come by.  However, most of us goat raisers sell the live animal directly to the consumers who then kill and prepare the animal by themselves.  Goat is tasty, but if you want some, learn to dress it yourself.  You kan buy a tasty kid for about 40 bucks.
 
2013-06-14 10:54:58 AM

smitton: You kan buy a tasty kid for about 40 bucks.


Same is true in China.

/don't bother, already there
 
2013-06-14 11:08:47 AM

old_toole: Where did the whole "Then, when wintertime rolls around, the gorillas will simply freeze to death" come from???


The Simpson's "Bart The Mother"
 
2013-06-14 11:27:21 AM
I like this plan. Does this place also sell goods made north of the border?

encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.comencrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com
 
2013-06-14 11:29:47 AM
1.bp.blogspot.com

Goats
 
2013-06-14 11:48:39 AM

picturescrazy: I never understood why we waste gas to trim lawns when we could use goats and raise meat at the same time.


Goats poop. Goats wander off. Goats occasionally require health care. Goats will eat stuff besides grass. Goats will starve and die messily if you don't happen to have enough grass to maintain them. Goats requires watching while you are on vacation.

There's a million reasons, really. A lawn mower needs maintenance and gas and stuff but it's still a lot less messy than a goat.

Smarter would be to not have a lawn but that's a fairly hard sell in most areas. Our society is just wired to have lawns now. Stupid, really.
 
2013-06-14 11:52:05 AM
I've got about two acres of land I need weeded. How many goats might that support? I've thought about raising goats but don't know where to start.
 
2013-06-14 12:04:40 PM
kim jong un.....
two acres of vegetation will support 2 goats for the season....if you want a quick cleanup, 20 goats will completely strip 2 acres in about a week.
 
2013-06-14 12:08:11 PM
www.skewsme.com
 
2013-06-14 12:12:05 PM
There's no such thing as an excessive weed probl-

Oh. OH. Okay yeah, goats would be pretty good for that. And goat milk.
 
2013-06-14 12:31:42 PM

smitton: The question was asked "why is goat meat not more popular in the states?"  Entirely the federal government's fault.  Under law, all meat of any kind must be inspected and stamped by a federal inspector.  And the inspectors are species specific.  A pig inspector cannot ok a chicken, etc. There are only a few goat meat inspectors nationwide so only a few facilities are licenced to slaughter goats, so the meat is hard to come by.  However, most of us goat raisers sell the live animal directly to the consumers who then kill and prepare the animal by themselves.  Goat is tasty, but if you want some, learn to dress it yourself.  You kan buy a tasty kid for about 40 bucks.


and I learned something today. i live in an apartment so doing my own killing is probably off the table. hopefully as it becomes more popular they will expand inspections (at least until i get my own place)
 
2013-06-14 12:40:34 PM
So they eat snakes and freeze during the winter?  That would explain why they haven't done an album in a few years.
farm1.staticflickr.com
 
2013-06-14 12:55:06 PM
I thought that if you smoked too much weed, you would turn into a lizard....
 
2013-06-14 01:47:18 PM

Arkanaut: Or you could just kill the goats yourself.  Or rent the area out to hunters.
//goat is delicious.


--- Came here to say this. GOAT CURRY!!
 
2013-06-14 01:51:48 PM
They had this on an episode of dirty jobs. The company shows up at your house fences off the area that the goats will work in and then they let them lose for a few days.
 
2013-06-14 03:17:40 PM
Australian cane toads think this is a fantastic idea!
 
2013-06-14 03:28:51 PM
Goats are a great way to turn weed into goat poop. But who will eat the goat poop?
 
2013-06-14 04:39:27 PM
Did someone say Hungry Goat?
 
2013-06-14 04:52:54 PM
Goats aren't lawnmowers. If there's sapling-sized trees around, the lowest green leaves will be gone- goats are natural climbers. If they get loose, they'll find the garden.
Their ideal diet isn't a choice between grass (hard to digest) and weeds (hit and miss). The perfect food is Honeysuckle- it tastes like candy-flavored salad to them. In the winter: hay bales and a high-protein sweet feed, same kind you'd feed a horse.

/goat makes excellent chili
//"You know you're from Chicago when you bring a goat into the deer check station." "Look here, boys! Bagged a 2-pointer!"
 
2013-06-14 05:14:22 PM
I got a pair of pygmy goats to trim the lawn. A cute little boy goat and a cute little girl goat. I also learned the following lessons, the hard way...

- There is a big difference between a browsing animal (goats/deer) and a grazing animal (horses/sheep). Grazers eat grass, and browsers eat broadleaf weeds and your landscaping. If you want the grass trimmed, get a grazer. If you want the weeds managed, get a browser. The goats cleaned all of the dandelions and spurge out of the grass, leaving the grass unharmed. When I told my hardcore country and western neighbor that I got them to trim the lawn he said:  "Aww hell no!  If y'all want the grass trimmed, ya gotta get yourself some woolies."

- They breed like rabbits.

- A 35 pound pygmy goat can butt a wooden shed door hard enough to completely knock it off its hinges. They can also smash a hole through the 1/4" plywood side of the shed, a wooden fence, or a patio door. I didn't find out until it was about ten minutes past too late that you can have the horn buds removed when they are young.

- An unfixed male smells like a goat. Literally.  You can smell them 100 feet downwind. Also, when a female is in heat, a male will charge your ass like a bull and do their level best to take you out. Before I got the male fixed, I carried a three foot piece of PVC pipe to adjust the goat's attitude whenever he decided that it was high noon at the OK corral. Shepherds carry those staffs for a reason.

- You will be unpleasantly surprised by their ability to jump and climb. You will also be unpleasantly surprised by their ability to go through a doggy door and demolish your family room.

- Good luck finding a vet to work on them. They are not a cat or a dog.

- Do not get drunk, get down on your hands and knees, and get into a head butting contest with them. Fortunately, my brother did this and wound up at the ER with a scalp laceration, and not me.

- Yes, they are cute - in a petting zoo.
 
2013-06-15 07:20:53 AM
iToad: (post above)

Even 'woolies' will eat your flowers, landscaping plants and the bark off your trees. I don't know of any animal that is an exclusive grazer, they will all browse to some extent, just some more than others. Goats are quite wide ranging browsers, they've been known to eat people's clothing off the washing line.
 
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