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(Uproxx)   There's a 2003 comic book storyline with Pink Kryptonite that turns Superman gay   (uproxx.com) divider line 62
    More: Stupid, Pink Kryptonite, Superman, African-American neighborhood  
•       •       •

7530 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Jun 2013 at 8:42 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



62 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-06-14 08:43:11 AM  
Fabulous
 
2013-06-14 08:44:28 AM  
Kneel before Zod.
 
2013-06-14 08:44:50 AM  
sarcastic remark about not caring.
 
2013-06-14 08:45:43 AM  
Supergirl has got a nice ass. Reminiscent of Pippa Middleton.
 
2013-06-14 08:45:48 AM  
Told you being gay was environmental and not genetic.
 
2013-06-14 08:45:58 AM  
Why are my underpants on outside of my tights?
Who wears capes anymore?
Hey Jimmy Olsen, Cm're.
 
2013-06-14 08:47:15 AM  

MisterSocksFox: Kneel before Zod.


Done in two
 
2013-06-14 08:47:32 AM  
Jimmy Olsen gonna get raped.
 
2013-06-14 08:48:00 AM  
Well, if by "storyline" you mean "one-panel gag".
 
2013-06-14 08:48:32 AM  
Anyone else notice when lois lane came out black her thighs got huge?
 
2013-06-14 08:48:53 AM  
Blue kryptonite makes him sad.
 
2013-06-14 08:49:15 AM  

SavageWombat: Well, if by "storyline" you mean "one-panel gag".


heheh he said gag
 
2013-06-14 08:49:29 AM  
So for one episode instead of not banging girls he was not banging guys?
 
2013-06-14 08:50:42 AM  

MisterSocksFox: Kneel before Zod.


You win, sir.  You win.  

Honestly, some past writers of Superman were just... Wow.  I mean, really?  This is as silly as it is offensive.  Further proof of my theory that all writing of Superman stories should have to be proof read and approved by Paul Dini before the art is started.
 
2013-06-14 08:51:12 AM  
hunkappreciationsociety.files.wordpress.com

Unimpressed.
 
2013-06-14 08:55:30 AM  
he always seemed pretty gay anyway
 
2013-06-14 08:56:24 AM  
waiting for Takei to tweet this article...
 
2013-06-14 08:59:11 AM  
Breaking news from 2003?
 
2013-06-14 09:04:21 AM  
I remember when he was a Pinko

1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-06-14 09:06:57 AM  
Turns him gay of finally makes him honest about his sexuality?
 
2013-06-14 09:11:11 AM  

Shadowknight: MisterSocksFox: Kneel before Zod.

You win, sir.  You win.  

Honestly, some past writers of Superman were just... Wow.  I mean, really?  This is as silly as it is offensive.  Further proof of my theory that all writing of Superman stories should have to be proof read and approved by Paul Dini before the art is started.


Oh for...

It was a one panel gag from Peter David's final Supergirl story arc.

Peter David... you know, the guy who won the GLAAD Award for his portrayal of Shatterstar and Rictor's relationship? Wrote one of the first characters with AIDS? Is still one of the best comic book writers around?
 
2013-06-14 09:12:56 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: Supergirl has got a nice ass. Reminiscent of Pippa Middleton.


I was always more a Power Girl fan:

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-06-14 09:12:58 AM  
Another type of kryptonite turns him into a hipster. I'd tell you what kind, but you've probably never heard of it.
 
2013-06-14 09:14:41 AM  
i208.photobucket.com
 
2013-06-14 09:16:25 AM  
If pink kryptonite turns him gay, wouldn't it have a similar effect on Supergirl?
 
2013-06-14 09:17:12 AM  
I'm guessing he's not a bottom.
 
2013-06-14 09:18:58 AM  
Seems rather presumptuous to claim pink kryptonite turns him gay.

For all we know it merely changed Superman's gender identity and thus her flirting with Jimmy was completely heterosexual.

/hopefully posting in the correct thread this time.
 
2013-06-14 09:19:11 AM  
Black kryptonite makes him all goth......or emo
 
2013-06-14 09:26:17 AM  

stevetherobot: If pink kryptonite turns him gay, wouldn't it have a similar effect on Supergirl?


Technically the Supergirl in this story is not Kryptonian thus wouldn't be affected by kryptonite.
 
2013-06-14 09:28:45 AM  
Green kryptonite makes him Irish.

"You've got to do something about Superman, Lois. He's drained the vats of most of the breweries on the east coast and is causing flooding with his peeing!"
 
2013-06-14 09:38:01 AM  

varmitydog: Green kryptonite makes him Irish.

"You've got to do something about Superman, Lois. He's drained the vats of most of the breweries on the east coast and is causing flooding with his peeing!"


And yellow kryptonite turns him Japanese?

/I really think so think so think so think so
 
2013-06-14 09:44:01 AM  
Well with therapy and prayer he can become straight again.
 
2013-06-14 09:50:00 AM  
Since he never says explicitly "I am homosexual", isn't the interpretation that someone that appreciates bow ties, says the word "Smashting",  and notices window dressings is homosexual more of a homophobic stereotype?

So the real homophobe here is the article's author David D.
 
2013-06-14 09:59:20 AM  
Shouldn't it be rainbow colored kryptonite?
 
2013-06-14 10:03:56 AM  
I would also like to point out that although Jimmy appears nervous (and is heterosexual), you know he's going to give it up for Superman, anyway.
 
2013-06-14 10:04:25 AM  

PunkTiger: varmitydog: Green kryptonite makes him Irish.

"You've got to do something about Superman, Lois. He's drained the vats of most of the breweries on the east coast and is causing flooding with his peeing!"

And yellow kryptonite turns him Japanese?

/I really think so think so think so think so


so the rest of the class can have that in their head all day too...
 
2013-06-14 10:06:11 AM  

kid_icarus: I would also like to point out that although Jimmy appears nervous (and is heterosexual), you know he's going to give it up for Superman, anyway.


When Superman takes the Pooper, Jimmy is going to scream louder than his sonic signal watch.
 
2013-06-14 10:08:50 AM  

Shadowknight: MisterSocksFox: Kneel before Zod.

You win, sir.  You win.  

Honestly, some past writers of Superman were just... Wow.  I mean, really?  This is as silly as it is offensive.  Further proof of my theory that all writing of Superman stories should have to be proof read and approved by Paul Dini before the art is started.


There is this website that has many examples of this call Superdickery.  Just do a google search on the terms "Superman is a dick" and you should be able to get it it.
 
2013-06-14 10:12:27 AM  

FrancoFile: Fabulous


Oh yeah...this movie's gonna suck BIG TIME~!
 
2013-06-14 10:16:47 AM  
I should add:  With a few changes tailored towards a story about Wonder Woman, it seems this could've been a great vehicle for her.  Not Superman acting more like Batman.
 
2013-06-14 10:27:50 AM  
Red kryptonite has a random effect so technically could turn him gay or even a brony.
 
2013-06-14 10:39:49 AM  

Sid_the_sadist: Black kryptonite makes him all goth......or emo


I wouldn't say it made Supergirl Emo...she got pretty pissed off though.
 
2013-06-14 10:46:37 AM  

FirstNationalBastard: kid_icarus: I would also like to point out that although Jimmy appears nervous (and is heterosexual), you know he's going to give it up for Superman, anyway.

When Superman takes the Pooper, Jimmy is going to scream louder than his sonic signal watch.


You can't blame Jimmy. If you can't go gay for Superman, who can you go gay for?
 
2013-06-14 10:48:55 AM  

vudukungfu: Why are my underpants on outside of my tights?
Who wears capes anymore?
Hey Jimmy Olsen, Cm're.


You bastard....damn that's funny.

\+1
 
2013-06-14 12:40:21 PM  
Furry Kryptonite FTW
 
2013-06-14 12:45:30 PM  

FirstNationalBastard: It was a one panel gag from Peter David's final Supergirl story arc.

Peter David... you know, the guy who won the GLAAD Award for his portrayal of Shatterstar and Rictor's relationship? Wrote one of the first characters with AIDS? Is still one of the best comic book writers around?


Was not aware that this was a one panel gag, or that it was Peter David.  I didn't even read the article, to be honest.  I'm not even sure where I am right now.  Who are you people?
 
2013-06-14 01:38:19 PM  

vudukungfu: Why are my underpants on outside of my tights?


THAG THINK DROG POST IN WRONG THREAD.
 
2013-06-14 02:04:24 PM  
Did it turn him gay or super gay?
 
2013-06-14 02:20:09 PM  
The judges would also have accepted "I'm Super, thanks for asking."
 
2013-06-14 02:38:47 PM  
Which kryptonite turns him into a creepy, soulless stalker and deadbeat dad? It was in the tie-in prequel comic for Superman Returns. (I'm remembering that right, aren't I? Cause the movie made no goddamn sense without that detail.)
 
2013-06-14 02:45:13 PM  

EdgeRunner: Which kryptonite turns him into a creepy, soulless stalker and deadbeat dad? It was in the tie-in prequel comic for Superman Returns. (I'm remembering that right, aren't I? Cause the movie made no goddamn sense without that detail.)


That would be Vodkanite.
 
2013-06-14 03:05:08 PM  

Shadowknight: MisterSocksFox: Kneel before Zod.

You win, sir.  You win.  

Honestly, some past writers of Superman were just... Wow.  I mean, really?  This is as silly as it is offensive.  Further proof of my theory that all writing of Superman stories should have to be proof read and approved by Paul Dini before the art is started.


It was a parody of the casually offensive silver age comics. 

But I am behind the Paul Dini idea.
 
2013-06-14 03:13:13 PM  

FirstNationalBastard: kid_icarus: I would also like to point out that although Jimmy appears nervous (and is heterosexual), you know he's going to give it up for Superman, anyway.

When Superman takes the Pooper, Jimmy is going to scream louder than his sonic signal watch.


Not if Superman is gentle and uses lots of lube.
 
2013-06-14 03:37:55 PM  

kid_icarus: EdgeRunner: Which kryptonite turns him into a creepy, soulless stalker and deadbeat dad? It was in the tie-in prequel comic for Superman Returns. (I'm remembering that right, aren't I? Cause the movie made no goddamn sense without that detail.)

That would be Vodkanite.


More like Scotchanite, but close enough--

static.comicvine.com
 
2013-06-14 03:43:12 PM  
Marvel tried to do something with a gay character, and this is the result.

i1168.photobucket.com
i1168.photobucket.com
 
2013-06-14 04:06:37 PM  

stevetherobot: If pink kryptonite turns him gay, wouldn't it have a similar effect on Supergirl?


Well, she does seem to like to stare at other women's tits...

lh6.googleusercontent.com
 
2013-06-14 04:35:38 PM  

MisterSocksFox: Kneel before Zod.


Winner.
 
2013-06-14 07:26:57 PM  
img.photobucket.com
luchins.comi2.wp.com
 
2013-06-14 07:45:54 PM  

ronin7: It was a parody of the casually offensive silver age comics. 

But I am behind the Paul Dini idea.


My poor understanding of the actual comic aside...   I know, right?  Dini and Timm's reign over the DC universe was easily the best treatment Superman, Batman, or any of the C-Listers ever got. Superman was by far the most powerful, but he wasn't untouchable.  He could be beaten.  Batman was "powerless," but feared even by demigods.  Wonder Woman was a badass warrior, no matter how she dressed, and you never forgot that.  

And each and every one of them was flawed, but not irredeemably.  They still all had their essential qualities that made them...  THEM.
 
2013-06-14 08:00:36 PM  
And here I was thinking it was this fabulous new power:
superdickery.com
 
2013-06-14 08:21:19 PM  
Okay I got nothing
superdickery.com
 
2013-06-15 10:36:28 AM  
There's A 2003 Comic Book Storyline Involving Pink Kryptonite That Turns Superman Gay
Written by David D. / 06.14.13

Those crazy kids at DC Comics are always coming up with something crazy. Their thirst for grabbing attention knows no bounds. So I can't say that I'm totally surprised by finding out that an issue of Supergirl features a special Pink Kryptonite. And naturally this special element turns Superman totally gay.

The storyline comes from Supergirl Vol. 4 #79 and takes place in an alternate Earth One timeline (don't ask) where Supes is exposed to Pink Kryptonite that makes him "flamboyant." Again, this was written in 2003. In the panel above, Superman is seen hitting on Jimmy Olsen's bowtie because he's gay and attracted to the first man he sees. Duh. Below is the full page.

[Granted, every so often there's some genuine weirdness. Fortunately, I'm the only one who seems to pick up on the subtext.]
[LOIS: You know, Superman's been acting awfully strange since being exposed to pink kryptonite. What do you think's wrong with him?]
[SUPERGIRL: Lois, you so don't want to know.]
[SUPERMAN: Did I ever tell you how smashing you look in bowties, Jimmy? By the way, that's a fabulous window treatment you've put together.]
[JIMMY: *Gulp* Gee ... Thanks. I guess.]

And as a special bonus, here's a reminder of the issue of the 70s Lois Lane comic where she goes to a Black neighborhood to report on how "they" live ... and goes into a machine to turn her Black before she goes. Hahahahaha this racism is killing me inside (c) Dave Chappelle.
 
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