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(Washington Times)   If you want to give your students a writing assignment, almost anything would be better than having them write a suicide note, including how and why you're killing yourself   (washingtontimes.com) divider line 21
    More: Dumbass, private schools  
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3991 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Jun 2013 at 10:32 PM (44 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-06-13 11:06:05 PM
5 votes:
A teacher in high school gave us the writing assignment: How Do You Want To Be Remembered?  I answered "They found Great Janitor's bullet ridden body on his throne of skulls.  He was thwarted by the heroes in his attempt to conquer the world.  The U.N. is currently unsure of how to deal with the hundreds of Great Janitor clones murdering their way across the U.S.A."

Turns out the entire assignment was How Do You Want to Be Remembered by Your Graduating Class?"  I said the answer is still the same.
2013-06-14 01:01:15 AM
2 votes:
i39.tinypic.com
2013-06-14 12:46:02 AM
2 votes:

relaxitsjustme: Big deal.  We had to write an essay about what it would be like to stone our own Mother to death after reading The Lottery.  It didn't affect me any

/eye twitch


You do not want to know about the essay we had to write after reading Oedipus the King.

/shudder
2013-06-14 12:17:11 AM
2 votes:
"Dear NRA, thanks for making it easy for me to purchase a gun without any mandated checks into my prior transgressions or mental health problems, for the intent of killing myself (and possibly some others before that.) I'm not entirely sure if I would have been able to carry through with it, seeing as I don't know any criminals and am not familiar with how to acquire weed, let alone buy a gun on the black market."
2013-06-14 12:01:13 AM
2 votes:

numbone: Not so fast. Nothing is sadder than a poorly written suicide note.


Are you kidding? How great would it be to get an "F" on your suicide note? You could sell it to a comedy club for like $100,000 and they'd hang it on the wall.
2013-06-13 10:54:48 PM
2 votes:
Big deal.  We had to write an essay about what it would be like to stone our own Mother to death after reading The Lottery.  It didn't affect me any

/eye twitch
2013-06-13 10:46:43 PM
2 votes:
Students of the Upper West Side private facility, some as young as age 14, were required to write the goodbye letter as an offshoot lesson plan from the best-selling book and movie, "The Secret Life of Bees," The New York Post reported. The main character in that book killed herself. 

The Washington Times spoiled the book I was reading. Goodbye cruel world!
2013-06-14 12:02:09 PM
1 votes:
God forbid we teach student a useful skill that they can use later in life.
2013-06-14 11:36:09 AM
1 votes:
Dear Penthouse,

   I never thought this could happen to me ...
2013-06-14 12:45:18 AM
1 votes:
drupal.org
2013-06-14 12:09:00 AM
1 votes:
"So then I knew something was up when they shut the doors and the 'Rains of Castemere' started playing....and it was just horrible. I mean seriously....Dumbledore and now like 70% of the Stark family...wtf world???" The End. Because other generations had "who shot JR?" and i have to deal with this shiat.
2013-06-13 11:49:19 PM
1 votes:
xx/xx/20xx
Dear IRS and other creditors,

Please accept this suicide note in lieu of payment.  I have most definitely killed myself to of which my rich uncle in Nigeria has given my proper remains burial in that which are not most identifiable.  If of which I have rebate coming please place it near the tent of my long lost twin who as a freak of nature has the exact same dna and fingerprints as I had but is not me by certain, and is living in and around the area of national park xxxxxxxxxxx.

Yours posthumously,
eventhelosers
2013-06-13 11:45:15 PM
1 votes:

theotherles: Respond by writing:

"What is the value of this assignment with respect to knowledge of the English Language?"

Authorities hate it when their authority is questioned.


"Ask your father. He paid for it."
2013-06-13 11:43:49 PM
1 votes:

Lady Indica: tinfoil-hat maggie: So well this happened. Not that smart but well.
We had to write an epitaph for our gravestone in 10th grade I think it was.

We had to do that as well, about the same grade. Catholic school for you too? Was a writing assignment in my English Lit. class. Instructor was a former college prof. (married and I think she was trying to have kids, so wanted less stress). She was a Chaucer expert too.

Funny how well I still remember some teachers. I thought the assignment sucked though. As a teen it was impossible to consider my own mortality outside of the typical self obsessed teen bullshiat where you just want to die over something lame.

I'm sure I have notebook somewhere full of self written emo poetry. My god the horror.


No Catholic school for me just public but the English teacher was married to the coach that taught PE, and she ended up having an affair with the principal so...well Drama : )
2013-06-13 11:40:25 PM
1 votes:

theotherles: Respond by writing:

"What is the value of this assignment with respect to knowledge of the English Language?"

Authorities hate it when their authority is questioned.


Their answer would probably be: "I don't know.  This is a literature class, not a grammar/structure class."
2013-06-13 11:03:41 PM
1 votes:
I am shocked that a school has students write stuff.

How will they pass the standardized tests?
2013-06-13 11:00:16 PM
1 votes:
If I were to kill myself I belive I would first climb to the top of a tall building and perch on the ledge. I would then get drunk. Then swallow some sleeping pills. Then I would cut my wrists from wrist to forearm. Then I would shoot myself in the head pushing my body off the top of the building to the concrete bellow.

I mean you want to get it right the first time. Nothing worse then coming to and finding out you even farked up suicide.
2013-06-13 10:50:15 PM
1 votes:

Oldiron_79: If I was to off myself cocaine and viagra overdose while banging 2 or more whores.


Terse, efficient and conveys your deepest thoughts effectively. You get an A-minus for your suicide note, Oldiron_79.
2013-06-13 10:42:34 PM
1 votes:
If I was to off myself cocaine and viagra overdose while banging 2 or more whores.
2013-06-13 10:40:49 PM
1 votes:
Great way to smoke out the crazies who are plotting mass shootings.
2013-06-13 09:21:01 PM
1 votes:

Sensei Can You See: bronyaur1: Yeah, that isn't a great idea, but not worthy of GOP Butthurtism over it.

Seriously, do the wingnuts need outrage just to exist any more??

Uh, it's not a political link and we're not in the Politics tab. Makes me wonder if the butthurt is coming from you.


Yeah, this is an example of getting your teaching credentials from a number you found on a matchbook cover the night you did the dirty with a midget that looked like John McCains prostate.

\\Why, yes I have been drinking.  Why do you ask?
 
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