If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(CNN)   Xbox One's big advantage? "It's digital" says Microsoft's Chief Marketing Officer, Mr. Constipated Sherlock. Definitely an advantage over the all analog PS4   (cnn.com) divider line 75
    More: Fail, Microsoft, Xbox Live Arcade, marketing manager  
•       •       •

9591 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Jun 2013 at 3:13 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-06-13 01:58:19 PM  
25 votes:
that's why I play Fallout 3 on several thousand vinyl LP's.
2013-06-13 02:44:56 PM  
11 votes:
img.photobucket.com
2013-06-13 04:29:09 PM  
10 votes:
Okay, let's get this started.

i.imgur.com
2013-06-13 03:26:35 PM  
10 votes:
i232.photobucket.com
2013-06-13 03:24:11 PM  
10 votes:

YoOjo: Video games are for children, drug addicts and other dead wood.
I prefer reading books and doing crosswords, thus indicating to the whole world that I'm not easily fascinated by flashy lights and have some sort of grasp on non-immediate rewards.


Tell me, what's a 9-letter word for a flexible plastic sack filled with purified water and distilled vinegar?
2013-06-13 03:35:03 PM  
8 votes:
i.imgur.com
2013-06-13 02:36:34 PM  
6 votes:
Does it have electrolytes?
2013-06-13 04:16:25 PM  
5 votes:
fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net
2013-06-13 03:19:22 PM  
5 votes:
I only use the finest, artisanal gaming systems.
2013-06-13 03:28:12 PM  
4 votes:
s3-ak.buzzfeed.com

Rock wins.
2013-06-13 03:17:46 PM  
4 votes:

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: I prefer my video games in punch card format.


That lacks the warmth and gentile hiss of cassette drive loaded gaming.
2013-06-13 02:49:49 PM  
4 votes:
Digital just like UFIA.
2013-06-13 02:13:13 PM  
4 votes:
But is it Hi Fi?
2013-06-13 07:37:08 PM  
3 votes:
Good news everyone!

pbs.twimg.com
2013-06-13 03:25:24 PM  
3 votes:

Egoy3k: Gamers love steam. Microsoft sees steam as a competitor, and copies the steam business model. Gamers hate Xbox one. You can't explain that.

I'm honestly more pissed off about Konami throwing David Hayter under the bus for Keifer farking Sutherland than I am about the Xbox One.

"Oh hey guys we have one of the most iconic video game characters of all time who has been voiced by the same guy since video game characters had voices but you know what lets change it up and get that guy from 24 to do our voices."

/I'll end up getting an Xbox One and a PS4 and probably spend more time gaming on my PC anyway
//seriously Konami you suck


Hayters gonna Hayt.
2013-06-13 03:19:42 PM  
3 votes:
Video games are for children, drug addicts and other dead wood.
I prefer reading books and doing crosswords, thus indicating to the whole world that I'm not easily fascinated by flashy lights and have some sort of grasp on non-immediate rewards.
2013-06-13 02:27:12 PM  
3 votes:
"It's digital"

oi43.tinypic.com
2013-06-13 06:51:47 PM  
2 votes:
i44.tinypic.com
2013-06-13 05:25:47 PM  
2 votes:

Bigger Leftist Intarweb Schlong: fawlty: Everyone concerned about the kinect spycam, it appears to be separate box from the actual console (although a mandatory purchase), why can't you just turn it around to face the wall?  Or just put a pots-it note over the cam? That's what I would do.  My main objection is paying $100 for something that I will just turn to face the wall.

You can't turn it to face the wall or block the camera. If it can't detect a person in front of it the console will cease to function.
Microphone functions can be 'paused' but it is always listening--- ostensibly, for the command 'Xbox on', but considering the TOS I just posted, do you really believe that it 'pauses'?


I'm waiting for the shiatstorm when parents buy this thing for the kids, then find out about the always-on-camera pointing at their kids. For once, I want to see the mommies explode in mommyrage. You know damn well the kids know about it, but won't mention it because they want the damn thing.
2013-06-13 04:17:11 PM  
2 votes:

scottydoesntknow: Lt. Cheese Weasel: [img.gawkerassets.com image 850x478]

That's a very good representation of the PC Gaming Master race. Not a single woman in it.


The PC Master Race doesn't have genders, we only have gamers
2013-06-13 04:03:56 PM  
2 votes:

Lt. Cheese Weasel: [img.gawkerassets.com image 850x478]


That's a very good representation of the PC Gaming Master race. Not a single woman in it.
2013-06-13 03:52:08 PM  
2 votes:
This gentleman is currently loading the latest version of Final Fantasy onto his analog PS4:

www.arts.tas.gov.au
2013-06-13 03:37:09 PM  
2 votes:

nburghmatt: i'll stick with my hand crank operated consoles, thank you very much.



www.masters.me.uk

/yeah I had this one.
//and several others too.
///lawn, get off it, etc...
2013-06-13 03:36:21 PM  
2 votes:

sid244: eddievercetti: Can the XBONE play Laserdiscs?

Everything looks better on Laserdisc!!!


24.media.tumblr.com
2013-06-13 03:24:15 PM  
2 votes:
Eh. Sony already walked back their "No DRM" announcement. And physical media is going away. It's the future, MS is just getting in front of it.
2013-06-13 03:21:51 PM  
2 votes:
So is my watch.

images.bidorbuy.co.za

Suck it, Rolex.
2013-06-13 03:19:50 PM  
2 votes:
It does the cloud too!  Always mention the cloud.
2013-06-13 02:57:58 PM  
2 votes:

remus: But is it Hi Fi?


www.radiohannibal.com

"See this system here? This is Hi-Fi... high fidelity. What that means is that it's the highest quality fidelity".
2013-06-13 02:41:56 PM  
2 votes:
Yes, but is it made made by Germans? Because Germans always make good stuff.
2013-06-13 02:20:39 PM  
2 votes:

Marcus Aurelius: Aarontology: that's why I play Fallout 3 on several thousand vinyl LP's.

I always suspected you were a hipster.


I also only drink the Mexican Nuka Cola with the real cane sugar!
2013-06-13 02:13:36 PM  
2 votes:

Aarontology: that's why I play Fallout 3 on several thousand vinyl LP's.


I always suspected you were a hipster.
2013-06-13 01:35:45 PM  
2 votes:

Blues_X: I'm fairly certain that they have no idea wtf they are talking about.


Either that or they're targeting the over-50 market.
2013-06-13 10:53:56 PM  
1 votes:

skullkrusher: that was awesome but Dwarf Fortress sucks :)


I disagree.  I will state my reasons.

1.) As far as gameplay over graphics go, there is no higher standard.
2.) While it does not have a learning curve so much as a learning precipice, the challenge has its rewards, and there are even guides out now that'll hold your hand as you take your first dwarfy steps.
3.) The brothers who make this game aren't doing it at boardroom direction.  They are unconcerned with what is popular and what is considered as "what works now".  For them, it is a labor of love.  Nothing else.
4.) There is always, ALWAYS a new way of doing something mundane.  Sometimes it'll work.  Sometimes your tanner will lose his mind, tear the arm off an ox, and beat his fellow dwarves with it.  Yes, this can and has happened.
5.) You can load one thousand spears into a minecart, and rig the track so it crashes head on with another stationary cart, catapulting all one thousand spears at horrifying speed, impaling everything in the way.
6.) You can kill a bronze colossus by beaning it with a fluffy wambler, if you're good enough.
7.) You never have to press "A" to save the industry.
8.) Each dwarf has his or her own AI and will react to things in differing, sometimes amusing ways.  I had a dragoon militia dwarf who always left his foe alive, but wouldn't leave until he put out his foe's left eye.  Yes, always the left eye.  He fought a foe once that only had one central eye.  He stood there for most of a day, thinking.  Then he put the eye out and then finally left.
9.) Elfin caravans bring you cloth and wood to trade, and throw a hissy fit if you try to trade them something made from wood.  Also, you can kill them.  Also, you can lure them into a trap, flood a room with magma, encasing them in obsidian.
10.) You make and place a cage trap.  You catch a grizzly bear.  You domesticate it.  Then train it into a war bear.  Then you re-cage it, put the cage into a minecart, and with the flip of a level you rocket that cage right into the midst of a human platoon during a siege.  The cage breaks on impact and the war bear is loose.  Seven humans die before the bear does.
11.) Your dwarf can choose a pet.  Except cats.  Cats choose their own "owners", and hilariously they tend to pick dwarves that hate cats.  Yes, cats are dicks.
2013-06-13 09:59:51 PM  
1 votes:
A Dwarf Fortress charges at the XBox!
An XBox One looks surprised by the ferocity of Dwarf Fortress's onslaught!
The Dwarf Fortress collides with the XBox One!
The XBox One is knocked over and tumbles backwards!
A Playstation 4 attacks a Dwarf Fortress but he jumps away!
A Dwarf Fortress enters a martial trance.
A Dwarf Fortress punches an Xbox One in the lower body, bruising the muscle and bruising the guts!
An XBox One looks sick!
A Playstation 4 attacks a Dwarf Fortress but he jumps away!
A kitten has become enraged!
The XBox One falls over.
The XBox One retches.
A Dwarf Fortress bites a Playstation 4 on the upper left leg, tearing apart the muscle and bruising the bone through the (black plastic casing)!
The XBox One attacks a kitten but she jumps away!
The XBox One retches.
A Dwarf Fortress latches on firmly!
A Dwarf Fortress shakes the Playstation 4 around by the upper left leg, and the severed part sails away in an arc!
A kitten bats the XBox One in the Kinect, tearing the casing and bruising the sensor!
A Dwarf Fortress punches the Playstation 4 in the head, jamming the skull through the brain and tearing the brain!
The Playstation 4 has been struck down.
A kitten bites the XBox One in the head, tearing apart the skin and bruising the bone through the (black plastic casing)!
A kitten latches on firmly!
A Dwarf Fortress leaves a martial trance.
A kitten shakes around the XBox One by the head, and the severed part sails away in an arc!
The XBox One has been struck down.
2013-06-13 09:46:55 PM  
1 votes:
This is why I prefer PC games. I can easily pirate PC games.

Some time ago I pirated some antivirus software and it turned out all my pirated software had viruses in it! I was like WTF!
2013-06-13 07:02:47 PM  
1 votes:

Coboc: Voiceofreason01:

I don't see anything, except the possible hardware failure of the Kinect before the main box as a problem.  My Steam Library is enormous, and there's a ton of stuff I never, ever, touch and maybe I could trade them in except...no, I can't and haven't ever been able to.  In fact, I've never traded any of my console games either because the $5 or $8 EB offers only to turn around and sell it at $45-50 actually offends me.  It's the same reason I never buy games used, plus I like the devs to get a piece of the pie.  So my "right" to get rid of my games is something I've never excercised and do see myself using.  If anything, I like the portability of my library, I like that I won't have mountains of coasters on my coffee table, I like that if I want a game on day-1 I won't have to run to a store...I work nights, so that's a big plus for me.  I see nothing but positives from how they plan on handling content for how I comsume it.  I know there are others who are the exact opposite, or idealogically opposed or just plain ornery and like to whine.
The 24-hour check-in is moot because most of what I play is either with my buddies online or against perfect strangers online.  Even when I'm playing a Fallout or a Skyrim, it's rare that I'm not in party chat with someone from my friends list.  My ISP is solid, and I lose power maybe 1-3 times a year for a few hours, barring a massive catastrophe.  I don't travel with my console but even if I did I could do the call-home using my mobile as a hotspot.
I'm not chomping at the bit to take advantage of the Kinect, but I can see it coming in handy for a few games as a tool to help with immersion, and I'm not terribly worried about the data-mining or other problems having a camera in my living room poses.

I cover everything?


www.startrek.com

Your training collar is working well, #7.
2013-06-13 05:47:07 PM  
1 votes:
"One" is a stupid identifier for the third generation of a product.
2013-06-13 05:09:21 PM  
1 votes:

thecpt: remus: But is it Hi Fi?

It's American hifi

/too stoned
//Nintendo


Just so you know, this did not go unnoticed.
2013-06-13 05:01:58 PM  
1 votes:

ThatDarkFellow: [img.gawkerassets.com image 320x434]


sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net

/Also goes well with the Xbox guy's comment during Killer Instinct
2013-06-13 04:57:04 PM  
1 votes:

GoGoGadgetLiver: OH NOES!  You mean I'm FORCED to log my Xbox One online ONCE per 24hrs!!!   Geez right now all I do is VOLUNTEER to leave my Xbox 360 online Always!!!

It's funny how all the people complaining about the online requirements are griping about it on the INTERNET.

** I have yet to see a single ad taken out in the newspaper biatching about it. **

I'm heading to the nearest payphone to call my newspaper to deliver my editorial about how requiring an internet connection for a device that will likely be in use in 2023 is outrageous.


Choosing to, and being required to, are vastly, vastly, VASTLY different things.

Clueless retards that can't see that is what's wrong with this world.

/lemme guess, the NSA stuff also doesn't bother you because you have "nothing to hide"
2013-06-13 04:55:12 PM  
1 votes:

GoGoGadgetLiver: OH NOES!  You mean I'm FORCED to log my Xbox One online ONCE per 24hrs!!!   Geez right now all I do is VOLUNTEER to leave my Xbox 360 online Always!!!

It's funny how all the people complaining about the online requirements are griping about it on the INTERNET.

** I have yet to see a single ad taken out in the newspaper biatching about it. **

I'm heading to the nearest payphone to call my newspaper to deliver my editorial about how requiring an internet connection for a device that will likely be in use in 2023 is outrageous.


That's the dumbest thing I've read all day, and I accidentally stumbled into a Buzzfeed link earlier.

Congratulations.
2013-06-13 04:55:00 PM  
1 votes:

GoGoGadgetLiver: OH NOES!  You mean I'm FORCED to log my Xbox One online ONCE per 24hrs!!!   Geez right now all I do is VOLUNTEER to leave my Xbox 360 online Always!!!

It's funny how all the people complaining about the online requirements are griping about it on the INTERNET.

** I have yet to see a single ad taken out in the newspaper biatching about it. **

I'm heading to the nearest payphone to call my newspaper to deliver my editorial about how requiring an internet connection for a device that will likely be in use in 2023 is outrageous.


levelselect.co.uk
2013-06-13 04:43:27 PM  
1 votes:

King Something: Carth: PS4 is cheaper, more powerful and doesn't seem intent on pissing off its customers. The fact anyone is still looking forward to Xbox is proof many gamers are sadists.

Don't you mean "masochists"? Sadists love to punish people with whips and candles, masochists love to be punished with whips and candles.

/please don't ask me how I know this


I'll defer to your expertise.
2013-06-13 04:28:45 PM  
1 votes:

Two16: skullkrusher: Two16: skullkrusher: I'm still only on Mass Effect 1 so I am in no danger of buying this PRISM Box anytime soon

Coming from you, someone who who buys the Big-Gulp size of Rmoney/Raindian kool-aid, this is HI-LAIR-EYE-US.

ummm huh? I didn't vote for Romney and I can't stand Objectivists. Confusing me with someone else? I sometimes see Skinnyhead's name in threads and think it's me too.

Most likely, yes.  Apologies .


no probs. I am an unapologetic Nazi right wing authoritarian libertarian gestapo jackbooted fascist thug. Just not a Romney supporter or an Objectivist
2013-06-13 04:21:31 PM  
1 votes:
what the fark is steam?
2013-06-13 04:19:22 PM  
1 votes:

Lt. Cheese Weasel: scottydoesntknow: Lt. Cheese Weasel: [img.gawkerassets.com image 850x478]

That's a very good representation of the PC Gaming Master race. Not a single woman in it.

We do not show our women to the unwashed peasantry.


Because the extension cord doesn't stretch that far?
2013-06-13 04:14:01 PM  
1 votes:

Carn: Lt. Cheese Weasel: [img.gawkerassets.com image 850x478]

I do not understand this pic, but I love it.


If you have to ask, then you're a dirty console peasant.

scottydoesntknow: Lt. Cheese Weasel: [img.gawkerassets.com image 850x478]

That's a very good representation of the PC Gaming Master race. Not a single woman in it.


We do not show our women to the unwashed peasantry.
2013-06-13 03:40:16 PM  
1 votes:

remus: But is it Hi Fi?


It's American hifi

/too stoned
//Nintendo
2013-06-13 03:39:58 PM  
1 votes:
As a founding member of the Master PC Gaming race, I'm getting a kick out of these replies.  And I suspect many of you have no idea wtf you're talking aboot.

My PC isn't just digital.  It's Super Digital.

/die console gamer scum.
2013-06-13 03:39:19 PM  
1 votes:

The_Fuzz: [s3-ak.buzzfeed.com image 605x720]

Rock wins.


Wait until you see how it stacks up against paper?
2013-06-13 03:38:48 PM  
1 votes:
"Here we go. Just let it happen. It'll be over soon."
2013-06-13 03:37:33 PM  
1 votes:

ShawnDoc: Marcus Aurelius: Blues_X: I'm fairly certain that they have no idea wtf they are talking about.

Either that or they're targeting the over-50 market.

Worked for the original Wii.


Well, if that's who they're aiming for that's fine...it also means they just tapped out to the PS4.
2013-06-13 03:37:21 PM  
1 votes:

meanmutton: Oh, for fark's sake, remember when everyone was hoping they'd make a Steam console?  They did.  This is it.


Sweet I can't wait to buy games for 75% off and play offline!
2013-06-13 03:34:43 PM  
1 votes:
PS4:

static.giantbomb.com

Wii U:

theawesomer.com

xbone:

fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net
2013-06-13 03:30:43 PM  
1 votes:
At this point, I believe that Microsoft seems to be down and in need of an ambulance.

/Wii-U Wii-U Wii-U Wii-U...
2013-06-13 03:30:14 PM  
1 votes:

CheatCommando: Aarontology: that's why I play Fallout 3 on several thousand vinyl LP's.

I prefer the less newfangled Edison cylinders.


try gaming on tape drives, it's awesome!
2013-06-13 03:26:15 PM  
1 votes:

YoOjo: Video games are for children, drug addicts and other dead wood.
I prefer reading books and doing crosswords, thus indicating to the whole world that I'm not easily fascinated by flashy lights and have some sort of grasp on non-immediate rewards.


Want to know how I know you're lying your ass off?

You're in Fark, in a Video Game thread.
2013-06-13 03:25:04 PM  
1 votes:

Aarontology: that's why I play Fallout 3 on several thousand vinyl LP's.


I prefer the less newfangled Edison cylinders.
2013-06-13 03:24:38 PM  
1 votes:

YoOjo: Video games are for children, drug addicts and other dead wood.
I prefer reading books and doing crosswords, thus indicating to the whole world that I'm not easily fascinated by flashy lights and have some sort of grasp on non-immediate rewards.


Sex must seem like a chore to you.  Oh who am I kidding, like this guy has any interest in something as base and unintillectual like sex.
2013-06-13 03:24:16 PM  
1 votes:

Rapmaster2000: It does the cloud too!  Always mention the cloud.


Not just the cloud -- the digital cloud.
2013-06-13 03:22:54 PM  
1 votes:
I like my coffee the way I like my XBox games: digital.

1111101000 . ^V101 1^Z0001
2013-06-13 03:21:34 PM  
1 votes:
Those digital "benefits" will be available at launch, but Mehdi hinted that the digital rights management transition might unlock some more interesting game access and distribution methods later on.

Let me stop you right there, Meh.  DRM is the opposite of unlocking.  By its very definition, it locks and restricts the use of digital content.  Digital content distributes just fine without DRM.
2013-06-13 03:20:53 PM  
1 votes:

YoOjo: Video games are for children, drug addicts and other dead wood.
I prefer reading books and doing crosswords, thus indicating to the whole world that I'm not easily fascinated by flashy lights and have some sort of grasp on non-immediate rewards.


Are the books and crosswords puzzles video game themed? I am having a hard time understanding what you're saying.
2013-06-13 03:19:47 PM  
1 votes:
I'm still only on Mass Effect 1 so I am in no danger of buying this PRISM Box anytime soon
2013-06-13 03:19:18 PM  
1 votes:
Can the XBONE play Laserdiscs?
2013-06-13 03:18:37 PM  
1 votes:
It's like Microsoft is purposely doing the complete opposite of everything they should be. Like they said "man, I want to f*ck our company into the ground this generation"


/current 360 user
//PS4 here I come
/Microsoft: take your surveillance device and shove it up your asses
2013-06-13 03:18:13 PM  
1 votes:
My theory is they're actually TRYING to make every mistake possible ahead of time so they can release something only halfway lame and redeem themselves at the last moment.
2013-06-13 03:17:15 PM  
1 votes:
PC > *
2013-06-13 03:17:01 PM  
1 votes:

Eddie Adams from Torrance: Does it have electrolytes?


That's for plants dummy.
2013-06-13 03:13:52 PM  
1 votes:
"I think it's fair to say there's a segment of consumers at this show in particular who really pay attention, who are very passionate about all aspects of gaming, and that we listen to closely. In a broader set of community, people don't pay attention to a lot of the details. We've seen it in the research, we've seen it in a lot of the data points."

"we've seen the data, the world is full of morons and we're going to keep spoon-feeding them sh*t and getting paid for the privilege."
2013-06-13 03:02:10 PM  
1 votes:

calbert: remus: But is it Hi Fi?

[www.radiohannibal.com image 470x182]

"See this system here? This is Hi-Fi... high fidelity. What that means is that it's the highest quality fidelity".


is that the TK421?
2013-06-13 02:41:17 PM  
1 votes:
I prefer my video games in punch card format.
2013-06-13 02:19:39 PM  
1 votes:
And the cost of 'downloaded' games will now be 50% higher due to a new 'convenience fee'.
2013-06-13 01:39:26 PM  
1 votes:

Marcus Aurelius: Blues_X: I'm fairly certain that they have no idea wtf they are talking about.

Either that or they're targeting the over-50 market.


Worked for the original Wii.
2013-06-13 01:28:53 PM  
1 votes:
I'm fairly certain that they have no idea wtf they are talking about.
 
Displayed 75 of 75 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report