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(io9)   Group of scientists and entrepreneurs built continuous message beacon to communicate with extraterrestrial civilizations. People can use it to transmit their own messages into space for a small fee. Because what could possibly go wrong?   (io9.com) divider line 96
    More: Stupid, civilizations, David Brin, radio signals, ETS, Radio Astronomy, binary codes, Planetary Science, entrepreneurs  
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1687 clicks; posted to Geek » on 13 Jun 2013 at 4:07 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-06-13 12:43:49 PM
Bad idea as in dangerous? Probably not. Bad idea as in really stupid? Yeah, pretty much.
 
2013-06-13 12:49:40 PM
Here's the message we'll get back: Stop spamming up the universe with your useless messages.
 
2013-06-13 12:52:37 PM
www.startrek.com

"I love that station.  Especially their lunchtime workforce blocks."
 
2013-06-13 12:59:54 PM
"I don't know what to make of the Earthlings, but their leader, Weedlord Bonerhitler, is a chatty, chatty dude."
 
2013-06-13 01:28:13 PM
A dreadful silence fell across the conference table as the commander of the Vl'hurgs, resplendent in his black jewelled battle shorts, gazed levelly at the G'Gugvuntt leader squatting opposite him in a cloud of green sweet-smelling steam, and, with a million sleek and horribly beweaponed star cruisers poised to unleash electric death at his single word of command, challenged the vile creature to take back what it had said about his mother.

The creature stirred in his sickly broiling vapour, and at that very moment the words"YOLO SWAG LOL" drifted across the conference table.

Unfortunately, in the Vl'hurg tongue this was the most dreadful insult imaginable, and there was nothing for it but to wage terrible war for centuries.

Eventually of course, after their Galaxy had been decimated over a few thousand years, it was realized that the whole thing had been a ghastly mistake, and so the two opposing battle fleets settled their few remaining differences in order to launch a joint attack on our own Galaxy - now positively identified as the source of the offending remark.
 
2013-06-13 02:25:28 PM
"SEND MORE CHUCK BERRY"
 
2013-06-13 02:41:34 PM
i236.photobucket.com
 
2013-06-13 02:47:00 PM
"Bring Elvis back!"
 
2013-06-13 02:57:23 PM
boo beep baa BUUMM bum
 
2013-06-13 02:58:23 PM
Continual message bacon will tell the universe we are truly an advanced species for having something so delicious.
 
2013-06-13 03:01:10 PM
Unless there's a civilization out there in which the phrase "We wish you fond greetings from Earth" translates to "fark you assholes, bring it on pussies", I think we're OK.
 
2013-06-13 03:48:46 PM
They'll just ignore it, because we're made out of meat.
 
2013-06-13 04:11:10 PM
To be interpreted as a dinner bell?
 
2013-06-13 04:21:54 PM
I will send a "come at me bro."
 
2013-06-13 04:22:13 PM

BunkoSquad: A dreadful silence fell across the conference table as the commander of the Vl'hurgs, resplendent in his black jewelled battle shorts, gazed levelly at the G'Gugvuntt leader squatting opposite him in a cloud of green sweet-smelling steam, and, with a million sleek and horribly beweaponed star cruisers poised to unleash electric death at his single word of command, challenged the vile creature to take back what it had said about his mother.

The creature stirred in his sickly broiling vapour, and at that very moment the words"YOLO SWAG LOL" drifted across the conference table.

Unfortunately, in the Vl'hurg tongue this was the most dreadful insult imaginable, and there was nothing for it but to wage terrible war for centuries.

Eventually of course, after their Galaxy had been decimated over a few thousand years, it was realized that the whole thing had been a ghastly mistake, and so the two opposing battle fleets settled their few remaining differences in order to launch a joint attack on our own Galaxy - now positively identified as the source of the offending remark.


[...] Due to a terrible miscalculation of scale the entire battle fleet was swallowed by a small dog.
 
2013-06-13 04:26:27 PM
static.tvtropes.org
 
2013-06-13 04:30:40 PM
Fart fart fart fart fart fart fart weener fart fart fart fart fart fart fart...
 
2013-06-13 04:33:31 PM
It can be both useless and reckless. If it attracts aliens then it wasn't useless. If it doesn't attract aliens then it wasn't reckless.
 
2013-06-13 04:36:27 PM
And this is what it looks like.

thomaspmbarnett.com

Yeah, hours of static. Sure.
 
2013-06-13 04:37:01 PM

Indolent: "Bring Elvis back!"


theinfosphere.org

"Give us McNeal!"
 
2013-06-13 04:40:24 PM
images.tvrage.com

Check this out you freakin aliens!
 
2013-06-13 04:44:03 PM
"Greatings from Belgium."
 
2013-06-13 04:47:32 PM
Kill us before we kill you.
 
2013-06-13 04:48:20 PM
First E.T. to land in my yard, gets to see my sister's tits!
 
2013-06-13 04:48:45 PM
They can't get here just like we can't get there. Stop worrying.
 
2013-06-13 04:51:41 PM
"Invade Ecuador first. They're assholes."
 
2013-06-13 04:53:53 PM
By the time anyone intelligent gets the message and is able to respond I'll be long gone so ain't my problem.
 
2013-06-13 04:57:19 PM

AliceBToklasLives: By the time anyone intelligent gets the message and is able to respond I'll be long gone so ain't my problem.


What if the aliens are the moon? Now you've pissed them off by suggesting they're not intelligent, and the moon awakens from its millenia of dormant slumber, preparing to wreak revenge upon those humans that have mocked, scoffed, and insulted the flavour of it's cheese.
 
2013-06-13 04:58:12 PM
"Hey aliens, Kansas said you have a tiny jagon!  Whatcha gonna do about it?"
 
2013-06-13 05:05:54 PM
I would send out an A440 tone with durations of the following number of seconds, in order, and then repeat:

1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21, 34, 56, 92, 144...
 
2013-06-13 05:17:19 PM
what continuous message beacon may look like:
 
2013-06-13 05:17:26 PM
 
2013-06-13 05:18:13 PM
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-06-13 05:21:21 PM

Slaxl: AliceBToklasLives: By the time anyone intelligent gets the message and is able to respond I'll be long gone so ain't my problem.

What if the aliens are the moon? Now you've pissed them off by suggesting they're not intelligent, and the moon awakens from its millenia of dormant slumber, preparing to wreak revenge upon those humans that have mocked, scoffed, and insulted the flavour of it's cheese.


Go to bed David Weber. You're drunk.
 
2013-06-13 05:28:26 PM
img819.imageshack.us
img96.imageshack.us
 
2013-06-13 05:38:15 PM
Human, the other white meat....
 
2013-06-13 05:44:51 PM
How will anyone know if they are actually transmitting the messages, rather than just taking the money, making some beep-boop sounds and giggling?
 
2013-06-13 05:48:02 PM
"We need more cowbell."
 
2013-06-13 05:49:22 PM
I'm not worried about our signals and I have no reason to suspect us to hear them...

All our signals fuzz out within a few light years. Radio isn't likely to be used for long range communications and if we could figure out what the galactic civilization actually uses for telecom transmission I bet we'd find a pan-galactic version of Science Channel. And HSN.
 
2013-06-13 05:51:11 PM

Quantum Apostrophe: They can't get here just like we can't get there. Stop worrying.


Except we can get there. Sure it would cost a few trillion dollars, take a few hundred years to get past the closest couple dozen stars, and possibly lead to a big uptick in cancers here on Earth; but the fact remains that using available materials and technologies the gulf between the stars could be crossed. It wouldn't be fun or easy, and it's very likely we wouldn't find anything. But I believe it could be done.
 
2013-06-13 05:53:51 PM

wildcardjack: the galactic civilization


Oh of course, they use dense-wavelength orthogonal neutrino modulation with strange-matter detectors. Be sure to get the polarization right.

Some of the more hipster alien races use vintage hydrogen masers made out of gas giants.
 
2013-06-13 05:58:06 PM
As long as nobody sends out All Along The Watchtower which will activate the Final Five.
 
2013-06-13 05:59:43 PM

wildcardjack: I'm not worried about our signals and I have no reason to suspect us to hear them...

All our signals fuzz out within a few light years. Radio isn't likely to be used for long range communications and if we could figure out what the galactic civilization actually uses for telecom transmission I bet we'd find a pan-galactic version of Science Channel. And HSN.


Turns out faster than light travel is easy but signaling hard. All messages in spess are hand delivered letters.

Err, Tentacle delivered anywayy.
 
2013-06-13 06:00:52 PM
Any intelligent life out there probably have known about Earth for some time now, and is staying way the fark away from us.
 
2013-06-13 06:03:44 PM

Ned Stark: Turns out faster than light travel is easy but signaling hard. All messages in spess are hand delivered letters.

Err, Tentacle delivered anywayy.


Nah, we will just fire a messenger pigeon out of a warp cannon.

That way, the aliens get a message AND a tasty snack-- thoroughly defeathered and cooked when it arrives, too.

/Hopefully not TOO tasty.
 
2013-06-13 06:09:51 PM
Nothing, since any message sent will take at a minimum dozens to hundreds of years to reach a potential destination, and even if an intelligent civilization were able to receive and decode the message, chances are the vast, endless ocean of space would discourage them from even attempting to visit us.
 
2013-06-13 06:14:36 PM
Greetings, aliens.

You smell like poopy butt. Neener neener.
 
2013-06-13 06:15:26 PM
Nuke us from orbit, it's the only way to be sure
 
2013-06-13 06:19:16 PM
I wrote a short story once about a race of grumpy-old-man aliens who come to earth, wipe out all the telecommunications equipment, and then leave.

They never make any attempt to speak with us or explain themselves and our innocent protests go unheeded, but after they leave our scientists intercept an indecipherable message from them which, after years of struggling, we finally cruft out a rough translation:

"It's 3am -- turn that farking shiat off!"
 
2013-06-13 06:22:47 PM
I will be scared if they answer back with "WHAAAAAGHHH!!" because I know we are not technologically ready for orks.
 
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