If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Telegraph)   Hello, 999? I want to report an ugly hooker for false advertising   (telegraph.co.uk) divider line 43
    More: Amusing, West Midlands Police, prostitution  
•       •       •

5371 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Jun 2013 at 12:11 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



43 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2013-06-13 11:22:00 AM  
Yeah, that's really more an issue to take up with Trading Standards.
 
2013-06-13 12:12:25 PM  
I thought we determined that you can just shoot prostitutes if they're not up to snuff.
 
2013-06-13 12:14:14 PM  
I tried calling 999 once, but then I realized that that combination of numbers doesn't do anything in my country.
 
2013-06-13 12:18:38 PM  
sd.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk
 
2013-06-13 12:19:22 PM  
Hello 99, I've been waiting so long
 
2013-06-13 12:20:03 PM  
He called the wrong number. From last month, dialing 999 wouldn't get him help for hooker theft of services. He should have called 0118 999 881 999 119 725

3.

2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-06-13 12:20:11 PM  
nuckingfutsmama.com
 
2013-06-13 12:20:31 PM  
Called 666. It had a pay wall.
 
2013-06-13 12:23:06 PM  
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qU_qQlGS0dM

Everybody knows that 999 is for ♫ HOMICIDE!!!!!HOMICIDE!!!!!HOMICIDE!!!!!  ♫
 
2013-06-13 12:26:17 PM  

skinink: He called the wrong number. From last month, dialing 999 wouldn't get him help for hooker theft of services. He should have called 0118 999 881 999 119 725

3.

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 633x339]


THIS! Thread over!
 
2013-06-13 12:28:49 PM  
"You've selected... Regicide."

"If you know the name of the King or Queen being killed, press 1."
 
2013-06-13 12:34:39 PM  
For when you've had a bit of a tumble:

24.media.tumblr.com

So glad that other people enjoyed that show.

Back on topic: I thought prostitution was legal in the UK.
 
2013-06-13 12:34:40 PM  
What ugly prostitutes might look like...

  encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com  encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com
 
2013-06-13 12:35:52 PM  

MOGGEE: What ugly prostitutes might look like...

  [encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com image 205x246]  [encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com image 241x209]


I just didn't need to see that.
 
2013-06-13 12:38:40 PM  

MOGGEE: What ugly prostitutes might look like...


Meth... not even once.
 
2013-06-13 12:40:51 PM  
Don't call the cops, man.  Just renegotiate the price, look at naughty pictures on your phone and try to avoid looking directly at the hooker.
 
2013-06-13 12:42:13 PM  

MOGGEE: What ugly prostitutes might look like...

  [encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com image 205x246]  [encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com image 241x209]


I can't comprehend what's going on with the one on the right's body.  is she fat?  is that possible with that face?  It kind of looks like it.
 
2013-06-13 12:44:09 PM  

mike_d85: MOGGEE: What ugly prostitutes might look like...

  [encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com image 205x246]  [encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com image 241x209]

I can't comprehend what's going on with the one on the right's body.  is she fat?  is that possible with that face?  It kind of looks like it.


She's leaning forward.  You see her back, then her left arm, then her black shirt, then her right arm, and it all kind of comes together as one big looking torso.  No doubt she's anorexic thin.
 
2013-06-13 12:46:31 PM  

mike_d85: Don't call the cops, man.  Just renegotiate the price, look at naughty pictures on your phone and try to avoid looking directly at the hooker.


Once again, Mr. D giving out sage advice.
 
2013-06-13 01:03:28 PM  
came for IT crowd references
leaving satisfied
 
2013-06-13 01:08:53 PM  
i.imgur.com

What an attractive british hooker might look like.
 
2013-06-13 01:10:33 PM  
what truth in advertising may look like

farm8.staticflickr.com
/aisle seat
 
2013-06-13 01:37:05 PM  
Came for 0118 999 881 999 119 7253, leaving satisfied.
 
2013-06-13 01:42:14 PM  
24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-06-13 01:56:02 PM  
www.wearysloth.com

The grim reaper is visiting you tonight.

/obscure?
 
2013-06-13 02:23:58 PM  
ts1.mm.bing.net
What you wanna bet the hooker that shows up at your room looks more like him, than the girl on the card he's handing out.
 
2013-06-13 02:28:06 PM  

thenooch: mike_d85: Don't call the cops, man.  Just renegotiate the price, look at naughty pictures on your phone and try to avoid looking directly at the hooker.

That strategy is for ugly (most) wives...


Well, a "wife" is just a word for a legally recognized hooker, only worse. The "wife" gets a tighter grip on your wallet and you don't get to show her the door when you're done.
---
The most honest relationship a man can have with a woman is when she is a hooker. You pay, you have sex, she leaves. There's no bullsh*t, and no trying to drain your bank account when she doesn't put out.

/try the veal
 
2013-06-13 02:46:10 PM  

offmymeds:


This right here.
 
2013-06-13 03:06:10 PM  
Gone viral
 
2013-06-13 03:18:28 PM  
Here's the ugly English hooker... and two "friends".

i.telegraph.co.uk
 
2013-06-13 03:41:18 PM  

ltdanman44: [www.wearysloth.com image 320x240]

The grim reaper is visiting you tonight.

/obscure?


Dammit!   I know that freaking movie......can't......remember....
 
2013-06-13 03:42:31 PM  
Heat!
 
2013-06-13 03:47:47 PM  

DirkValentine: Heat!


*ding*
 
2013-06-13 03:54:39 PM  

ltdanman44: DirkValentine: Heat!

*ding*


Really one of my faves....haven't seen it in awhile.  I think it's time for a revisit.
 
2013-06-13 06:05:56 PM  

wambu: [i.imgur.com image 468x734]

What an attractive british hooker might look like.


Haha, excellent. Never did I ever think I'd see a Last of the Summer Wine reference on Fark.
 
2013-06-13 06:20:36 PM  
i40.tinypic.com
 
2013-06-13 06:24:30 PM  
http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=Rus1Eju VK14&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D Rus1EjuVK14

Big Train Straight Sex Sketch.

Genius. Sorry, can't link from phone but trust me, worth a copy/paste.
 
2013-06-13 06:25:58 PM  

meanmutton: For when you've had a bit of a tumble:



So glad that other people enjoyed that show.

Back on topic: I thought prostitution was legal in the UK.


Vaguely legal in theory, not in practice.
 
2013-06-13 07:07:44 PM  
s21.postimg.org
 
2013-06-13 07:23:20 PM  
fatkidatcamp.com
 
2013-06-13 07:27:20 PM  

Day_Old_Dutchie: [s21.postimg.org image 517x600]


Several hours ago, THAT'S the beastie I was looking for.. I kept getting a 404 error when I tried to post the pic so I ended up with the meth twins.
 
2013-06-13 10:51:59 PM  

Slaxl: wambu: [i.imgur.com image 468x734]

What an attractive british hooker might look like.

Haha, excellent. Never did I ever think I'd see a Last of the Summer Wine reference on Fark.


Why is that?
 
2013-06-14 06:44:51 PM  

wambu: Slaxl: wambu: [i.imgur.com image 468x734]

What an attractive british hooker might look like.

Haha, excellent. Never did I ever think I'd see a Last of the Summer Wine reference on Fark.

Why is that?


Why would I think that?
 
Displayed 43 of 43 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report