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(Patch)   You don't know where your ex-girlfriend lives, so you set fire to the wrong house. Twice. Not to worry, she knows where you'll be for the next five years. Irony tag bows to Dumbass   (plainfield.patch.com) divider line 27
    More: Dumbass, Yorkville, Illinois Department of Corrections, dumbass, girlfriend, weis  
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3076 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Jun 2013 at 12:24 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-06-13 11:09:11 AM
o2.aolcdn.com
Hey sweetie, I still love you, if I set fire to your place you'll totally HAVE to take me back, right? I mean, that's just how much I love and need you; then you can come and live with me, I'll take care of you!
 
2013-06-13 11:18:32 AM
Worst part, he'd probably forgotten about her by the time they actually nailed him for the crimes.
 
2013-06-13 11:24:58 AM
s3-ec.buzzfed.com
 
2013-06-13 12:26:39 PM
I think I need to go back to bed. I read
Irony tag bows to Dumbass
as
Irony tag blows Dumbass.

In the meantime - I'm happy I wasn't her neighbor.
 
2013-06-13 12:28:20 PM
Dude, if you are trying to honor the memory of Left Eye, this is NOT the way to do it!
 
2013-06-13 12:30:44 PM

mafiageek1980: Dude, if you are trying to honor the memory of Left Eye, this is NOT the way to do it!


Agreed.  Guy really needs to stop chasing them waterfalls.
 
2013-06-13 12:31:04 PM
This is even stupider than that Brooke Shields movie.
 
2013-06-13 12:31:52 PM
Idiot.  You're supposed to burn her belongings in YOUR posession - in a bonfire - with your beer-bringing friends!
 
2013-06-13 12:35:31 PM
So wait. Subby is telling me to set fire to a house that looks like my ex girlfriend's, twice? Strange request, but ok.
 
2013-06-13 12:36:11 PM
img37.imageshack.us
 
2013-06-13 12:37:18 PM
FTFA (re: the first fire):   Fortunately the fire was quickly extinguished when a fish tank ruptured and suppressed the flames.

this had me belly-laughing.  im not sure what image it conjured up but it involved a bumbling nitwit failing at criminality in epic style.
 
2013-06-13 12:38:47 PM
Not Cool Story time.  I learned through a mutual friend that an ex-girlfriend of mine got married a number of years ago and a short while after the wedding someone broke into her husband's truck, took out their wedding photo album and then torched the photo album.  I, of course, got blamed for this.  The whole thing is ridiculous.  For starters, why would they leave their photo album in the truck?  After me she dated a police officer and who would be better able to track down someone's vehicle?  A cop or someone who at the time worked in the commodities industry?  Not only that, I was not aware that she was dating this new guy.  Years ago she moved out of the neighborhood where we both lived and I have not seen her since.  Oh well, I guess she is still bitter about when I outed her to her boss for breaking into my Livejournal account from a company computer and they fired her for it.
 
2013-06-13 12:50:20 PM
CSB: Many years ago an idiot neighbor of ours did this same thing. They lived together and she wanted him to move out, so before he did he set her couch on fire while she was not home.

Not so CSB: This was our neighbor across the hall in our apartment building. The moron risked the lives of multiple families just to piss off his girlfriend. The fire was put out in time to save the building, but all our clothes & furniture had pretty bad smoke damage.
 
2013-06-13 12:55:29 PM
Enjoy your time in the slammer, firebug.
 
2013-06-13 01:04:10 PM
He's not a bad looking guy. biatch couldn't really have been worth all that heartache.
 
2013-06-13 01:09:47 PM
According to the story: Slagel was sentenced to five half years ...

So does that mean he only really got 2 1/2 years?
 
2013-06-13 01:23:33 PM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: He's not a bad looking guy. biatch couldn't really have been worth all that heartache.


I consistently sprain an eyeball reading your posts.
 
2013-06-13 01:24:46 PM

There's Always A Bloody Ghost: According to the story: Slagel was sentenced to five half years ...

So does that mean he only really got 2 1/2 years?


I think they are trying to say that he got 20 eighth years.
 
2013-06-13 01:30:00 PM
You know that it would be untrue
You know that I would be a liar
If I was to say to you
I didn't set your house on fire
 
2013-06-13 01:53:50 PM

Sybarite: Worst part, he'd probably forgotten about her by the time they actually nailed him for the crimes.


Yes, that's the worst part

/sarcasm off
 
2013-06-13 02:14:38 PM

Astorix: Enjoy your time in the slammer, firebug.


He'll learn nothing from it but a load of surprisingly accurate advice on how to properly carry out more deadly revenge schemes from his fellow inmates, most of whom are there for displaying similarly poor judgment, especially toward the women in their own lives.
 
2013-06-13 02:50:12 PM

CapeFearCadaver: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: He's not a bad looking guy. biatch couldn't really have been worth all that heartache.

I consistently sprain an eyeball reading your posts.


What!?
 
2013-06-13 03:20:56 PM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: CapeFearCadaver: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: He's not a bad looking guy. biatch couldn't really have been worth all that heartache.

I consistently sprain an eyeball reading your posts.

What!?


you heard 'im, punchy. i read your post and facepalmed so hard i broke my wrist.
 
2013-06-13 03:23:14 PM
I ♥ Krispy
 
2013-06-13 05:40:49 PM
One time I waited outside a woman's house for five days just to show her how serious I was about wanting to drill her. Turns out, it was the wrong house. She loved the story anyway. We got to third base. Over the pants.
 
2013-06-13 10:21:54 PM
She let crazy stick it in her??

Most women have already learned not to do that.


/most, not all.
//anecdotes?
///tires for slashies?
 
2013-06-14 12:17:08 AM

m1ke: One time I waited outside a woman's house for five days just to show her how serious I was about wanting to drill her. Turns out, it was the wrong house. She loved the story anyway. We got to third base. Over the pants.


Over the pants is not third base.  That is getting tagged out by the third baseman.
 
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