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(Daily Mail)   Kate Upton   (dailymail.co.uk ) divider line
    More: Obvious, Maksim Chmerkovskiy, Set construction, other woman, New York's Upper East Side, bikinis, Italian restaurant, Us Weekly  
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14125 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 13 Jun 2013 at 8:51 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



121 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-06-13 08:30:54 AM  
...posing nude?

...eats a sandwich?...Hears a Who?WHAT, subby, WHAAAT???
 
2013-06-13 08:54:51 AM  
She looks like a refreshingly normal staggeringly hot woman and perhaps is one-third as fine as my beloved wife.

/wife-like lurking detected
 
2013-06-13 08:55:40 AM  
STUDMEN69 ASSEMBLE!
 
2013-06-13 08:59:44 AM  
sure, what the hell
 
2013-06-13 09:02:34 AM  
I wonder when her tits will demand top billing - as in `The Breasts of Kate Upton"?
 
2013-06-13 09:03:24 AM  
Kate Upton, almost as good as Kate Downton.
 
2013-06-13 09:03:25 AM  

stoli n coke: STUDMEN69 ASSEMBLE!


She does have a weird torso.

/wouldn't stop me from  hitting masturbating to it
 
2013-06-13 09:05:00 AM  

stoli n coke: STUDMEN69 ASSEMBLE!


She'd be hot if she had a waist.
 
2013-06-13 09:05:09 AM  

stoli n coke: STUDMEN69 ASSEMBLE!




Overweight
Weird torso
Love handles
No ass
Chicken legs
 
2013-06-13 09:05:40 AM  

maverickzy: Kate Upton, almost as good as Kate Downton.


Who's slightly different from Downton Abbey, who puts on more airs than Downtown Abbey.
 
2013-06-13 09:10:13 AM  
Here's what I love about Kate.  She's the kind of woman who hangs with a friend who's slightly less eye-grabbing, but infinitely more interesting.  Kate distracts 95% of the male attention while a modest 7 like me swoops in and nabs the friend.
 
2013-06-13 09:11:51 AM  
I don't know but the pics of her with the other chick look like they are about one more glass of wine from scissoring.

I'll be in my bunk.
 
2013-06-13 09:14:22 AM  
Matt Damon
 
2013-06-13 09:16:56 AM  
Upton thread.

i568.photobucket.com

i568.photobucket.com

i568.photobucket.com
 
2013-06-13 09:19:21 AM  

DubyaHater: Weird torso


Upton is like Kesha, except with nice tits.
 
2013-06-13 09:20:08 AM  
I know a Kate Upton doppleganger irl.  Face,  body, age and dumb as a bag of hammers.

/cool story bro
 
2013-06-13 09:21:07 AM  
Yeah, she's hot. She's also a bikini model. So, other than page views, why have an article each and every time she puts on a bikini? It's like running an article every time a professional farter lets a good one off the chain. No shiat.
 
2013-06-13 09:22:00 AM  
Now if you asked me at the time of The Mask: Kate Upton or Cameron Diaz.... hell, if you asked me at the time of the first Charlie's Angels, I may have had to think a bit before answering. But now... well, that's a sticky wicket.
 
2013-06-13 09:29:33 AM  

oldfarthenry: I wonder when her tits will demand top billing - as in `The Breasts of Kate Upton"?


There is an intermediate step that must be taken: Kate Upton featuring The Breasts

Thick through the middle. Flat on the back. Kate Upton is still the second hottest woman in history, trailing only Rachel Weisz in The Mummy.
 
2013-06-13 09:29:46 AM  

Mawson of the Antarctic: Now if you asked me at the time of The Mask: Kate Upton or Cameron Diaz.... hell, if you asked me at the time of the first Charlie's Angels, I may have had to think a bit before answering. But now... well, that's a sticky wicket.


I'm assuming you mean you would have picked Cameron Diaz? Because Upton was what, 5 when the Mask came out? Maybe 10 for Charlie's Angels?
 
2013-06-13 09:30:16 AM  
Subby:

assets0.ordienetworks.com
 
2013-06-13 09:31:13 AM  
...still no cure for canc----ah fark it.
 
2013-06-13 09:31:40 AM  
Shes delightfully squishy.
 
2013-06-13 09:33:56 AM  
She keeps me up a ton, or something like that.
 
2013-06-13 09:38:40 AM  

Kurmudgeon: DubyaHater: Weird torso

Upton is like Kesha, except with nice tits.


THIS.

Pretty face, great tits...not such an exceptional body. Not bad, but not great either.

/still better than anything Ill ever fark
 
2013-06-13 09:40:14 AM  

oldfarthenry: I wonder when her tits will demand top billing - as in `The Breasts of Kate Upton"?


Her breasts will be opening for Katy Perry's tits this weekend at the cove.
 
2013-06-13 09:40:21 AM  

DubyaHater: stoli n coke: STUDMEN69 ASSEMBLE!

Overweight
Weird torso
Love handles
No ass
Chicken legs


i2.photobucket.com

It's like you're walking around with a "kick me in the nuts" sign taped to your forhead. Ever heard the saying "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all"? No? Well, now you have.
 
2013-06-13 09:44:32 AM  
Ahhh, morning fapping...
 
2013-06-13 09:46:21 AM  
soshitech.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-06-13 09:46:45 AM  
img.photobucket.com

I wanna jump on her belly.
 
2013-06-13 09:48:01 AM  
She's the opposite of a hipster.
 
2013-06-13 09:50:19 AM  
i.chzbgr.com
 
2013-06-13 09:50:51 AM  
Now for another exciting edition of the internet's favorite existential sexually themed game show   SHE NEITHER KNOWS NOR CARES OF YOUR EXISTENCE!


Let's get started, you know how to play, we show you barely clothed uberwealthy supermodelss that travel waaaaay outside of your social circles and the first contestant that is reduced to sobbing into their crusty sock wins valuable prizes and caloric snack treats!
 
2013-06-13 09:55:08 AM  

indarwinsshadow: DubyaHater: stoli n coke: STUDMEN69 ASSEMBLE!

Overweight
Weird torso
Love handles
No ass
Chicken legs

[i2.photobucket.com image 182x202]

It's like you're walking around with a "kick me in the nuts" sign taped to your forhead. Ever heard the saying "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all"? No? Well, now you have.




She still won't sleep with you. I know it keeps you up night, wondering what you can do on the internet to catch the attention of Miss Upton. Keep white knighting though. It makes you look really cool in the eyes of a bunch of anonymous Farkers
 
2013-06-13 09:56:28 AM  

brap: Now for another exciting edition of the internet's favorite existential sexually themed game show   SHE NEITHER KNOWS NOR CARES OF YOUR EXISTENCE!


Oh, brappy! It wouldn't be a proper parade without your urine sprinkling down on us!
 
2013-06-13 09:57:38 AM  

Wellon Dowd: oldfarthenry: I wonder when her tits will demand top billing - as in `The Breasts of Kate Upton"?

There is an intermediate step that must be taken: Kate Upton featuring The Breasts

Thick through the middle. Flat on the back. Kate Upton is still the second hottest woman in history, trailing only Rachel Weisz in The Mummy.



My favorite sexy librarian.
 
2013-06-13 10:01:57 AM  
She's a boner machine and its awesome
 
2013-06-13 10:04:08 AM  

DubyaHater: It makes you look really cool in the eyes of a bunch of anonymous Farkers


It's not nearly as cool as telling everyone how ugly you think a supermodel is, that's for sure.
 
2013-06-13 10:06:14 AM  
Those are not flattering pictures, IMO.  I thought she was less rectangular from the boobs down, alas this is not the case.
 
2013-06-13 10:07:29 AM  

DubyaHater: indarwinsshadow: DubyaHater: stoli n coke: STUDMEN69 ASSEMBLE!

Overweight
Weird torso
Love handles
No ass
Chicken legs

[i2.photobucket.com image 182x202]

It's like you're walking around with a "kick me in the nuts" sign taped to your forhead. Ever heard the saying "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all"? No? Well, now you have.

She still won't sleep with you. I know it keeps you up night, wondering what you can do on the internet to catch the attention of Miss Upton. Keep white knighting though. It makes you look really cool in the eyes of a bunch of anonymous Farkers


Awww. Now I've upset you. Sorry muffin. I keep forgetting how sensitive some people are. Here's a cookie. I'll call your mom and she'll come and pick you up so you don't have to hear the taunts no mores. Poor snowflake.
She wouldn't sleep with you, me or probably any farker. Pointing out when you're acting like a tool isn't being a white knight. It's just pointing out you're acting like a child. Live with it.
 
2013-06-13 10:07:54 AM  

Halstread: Those are not flattering pictures, IMO.  I thought she was less rectangular from the boobs down, alas this is not the case.


She's out of shape.
/you had ONE JOB
 
2013-06-13 10:12:54 AM  
My lord, she is going to be a huge fat pig one day. And that one day might not be far off unless she starts doing something about it now.
 
2013-06-13 10:13:42 AM  
When is she going to pork out like Anna Nicole did? She looks like she has the potential
 
2013-06-13 10:14:35 AM  

DubyaHater: indarwinsshadow: DubyaHater: stoli n coke: STUDMEN69 ASSEMBLE!

Overweight
Weird torso
Love handles
No ass
Chicken legs

[i2.photobucket.com image 182x202]

It's like you're walking around with a "kick me in the nuts" sign taped to your forhead. Ever heard the saying "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all"? No? Well, now you have.


She still won't sleep with you. I know it keeps you up night, wondering what you can do on the internet to catch the attention of Miss Upton. Keep white knighting though. It makes you look really cool in the eyes of a bunch of anonymous Farkers


Ever wonder why women won't sleep with guys like indarwinsshadow?  It's because of guys like you; so, thanks for that...ya pig.
 
2013-06-13 10:18:36 AM  
i236.photobucket.com

Kate Upton's getting LAAAAARGER
 
2013-06-13 10:19:03 AM  

FarkingReading: My lord, she is going to be a huge fat pig one day. And that one day might not be far off unless she starts doing something about it now.


Every woman has the chance to become a land whale.  Just give them a ring and stand back.
 
2013-06-13 10:19:04 AM  
I hope she knows how to eat right and exercise because she is f*cked when she hits 25
 
2013-06-13 10:19:26 AM  

stoli n coke: STUDMEN69 ASSEMBLE!


I think I've mentioned in every Kate Upton thread that outside of her breasts (which are very nice), I don't like the way the rest of her body looks.  So I definitely need to be noted down in the Studman Brigade for this one.

No waist/hips.  Her ass doesn't have enough definition.  The only decent thing about her is the boobs.
 
2013-06-13 10:20:49 AM  

indarwinsshadow: DubyaHater: indarwinsshadow: DubyaHater: stoli n coke: STUDMEN69 ASSEMBLE!

Overweight
Weird torso
Love handles
No ass
Chicken legs

[i2.photobucket.com image 182x202]

It's like you're walking around with a "kick me in the nuts" sign taped to your forhead. Ever heard the saying "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all"? No? Well, now you have.

She still won't sleep with you. I know it keeps you up night, wondering what you can do on the internet to catch the attention of Miss Upton. Keep white knighting though. It makes you look really cool in the eyes of a bunch of anonymous Farkers

Awww. Now I've upset you. Sorry muffin. I keep forgetting how sensitive some people are. Here's a cookie. I'll call your mom and she'll come and pick you up so you don't have to hear the taunts no mores. Poor snowflake.
She wouldn't sleep with you, me or probably any farker. Pointing out when you're acting like a tool isn't being a white knight. It's just pointing out you're acting like a child. Live with it.





You're right. I expressed my opinion and was immediately chastised for it. Anyone with differing opinions should just keep quiet in your presence or risk "being kicked in the nuts". And yet I'm acting like a child. Good luck with that attitude.
 
2013-06-13 10:22:20 AM  

degenerate-afro: stoli n coke: STUDMEN69 ASSEMBLE!

I think I've mentioned in every Kate Upton thread that outside of her breasts (which are very nice), I don't like the way the rest of her body looks.  So I definitely need to be noted down in the Studman Brigade for this one.

No waist/hips.  Her ass doesn't have enough definition.  The only decent thing about her is the boobs.


Oh and for reference, I like the way women like Sofia Vergara and Christina Hendricks look much better.
 
2013-06-13 10:27:43 AM  
DubyaHater:  You're right. I expressed my opinion and was immediately chastised for it. Anyone with differing opinions should just keep quiet in your presence or risk "being kicked in the nuts". And yet I'm acting like a child. Good luck with that attitude.

Yet, if someone had a picture of you and say, Kate Beckinsale had a snide comment about you, you'd be livid.  Am I right?
 
2013-06-13 10:28:54 AM  
headline of the year
 
2013-06-13 10:29:26 AM  
Bunk
 
2013-06-13 10:30:03 AM  

brap: Now for another exciting edition of the internet's favorite existential sexually themed game show   SHE NEITHER KNOWS NOR CARES OF YOUR EXISTENCE!


Let's get started, you know how to play, we show you barely clothed uberwealthy supermodelss that travel waaaaay outside of your social circles and the first contestant that is reduced to sobbing into their crusty sock wins valuable prizes and caloric snack treats!


i1282.photobucket.com
 
2013-06-13 10:31:46 AM  
Her ass and waist ain't nothing to write home about but dear lord, them titties are RIDICULOUS
 
2013-06-13 10:32:13 AM  
She would be hot if she wasn't so fat and had something resembling a waste and didn't have those beach balls attached to her chest.

//studmanning since '69
 
2013-06-13 10:32:56 AM  
Waist...
 
kab
2013-06-13 10:33:43 AM  
Very pretty girl, no question.   But I can't say that she's deserving of the amount of interweb adoration she receives for said looks.

/not sure if that falls into studman territory, but oh well.
 
2013-06-13 10:34:43 AM  

kab: Very pretty girl, no question.   But I can't say that she's deserving of the amount of interweb adoration she receives for said looks.

/not sure if that falls into studman territory, but oh well.


Could it be that she's just...natural?  Silly, I know...
 
2013-06-13 10:58:55 AM  

Rwa2play: kab: Very pretty girl, no question.   But I can't say that she's deserving of the amount of interweb adoration she receives for said looks.

/not sure if that falls into studman territory, but oh well.

Could it be that she's just...natural?  Silly, I know...


My theory is that the popularity of .gifs has a direct correction with the popularity of Kate Upton.  I can't prove it though.  I'll just look at some of said .gifs instead...
 
2013-06-13 11:01:13 AM  
HOTY candidate right there for its pithy minimalism.
 
2013-06-13 11:03:53 AM  
Hot, but yeah, I'm starting to understand the 'weird waist/hips' camp.  Still face-melting boobs though.
 
2013-06-13 11:12:52 AM  
Now I see why the pics always focus on her boobs, and almost always seem to be hiding her ass and waist.
 
2013-06-13 11:13:30 AM  

Everybody's on about her hips or ass or tits. Even if she was just a head-in-a-jar looking at her would be like being buggered by a chorus of angels.

i.imgur.com
i.imgur.com

 
2013-06-13 11:15:29 AM  

momojoboo: Now I see why the pics always focus on her boobs, and almost always seem to be hiding her ass and waist.


Which really is a crime if you ask me.  She is beautiful no matter what frame of reference you use to examine
her.

/Likes meaty women and skinny women equally.
 
2013-06-13 11:17:50 AM  
Meh
 
2013-06-13 11:18:16 AM  
Wellon Dowd: head-in-a-jar

That reminds me of something Ed Gein once said...
 
2013-06-13 11:19:10 AM  

kab: Very pretty girl, no question.   But I can't say that she's deserving of the amount of interweb adoration she receives for said looks.

/not sure if that falls into studman territory, but oh well.



It only counts as studmanning if you purposely try to disempower a woman with your dismissive comments. I think you're safe on this one.


I think the appeal of Kate Upton is her contrast against her peers. Most of the top tier models are almost extraterrestrialy beautiful, flawless and graceful and perfect in every physical way. Upton is ALMOST perfect, but that almost is what makes her real. You could see her float tubing down a river drinking a couple beers. You could see her tripping over a carpet and taking out a floor lamp. Whereas someone like Adrianna Lima might as well be a CGI composite of perfect human genetics. One is a mile out of your league, the other might as well be on the moon.
 
2013-06-13 11:23:02 AM  
I'm not obsessed with boobs, and like them in all shapes and sizes, but those are damn near hypnotic.  I'm glad she has chosen to share them with the world.
 
2013-06-13 11:23:54 AM  

Magnanimous_J: Upton is ALMOST perfect, but that almost is what makes her real. You could see her float tubing down a river drinking a couple beers.


I can? How do I arrange this?

Jennifer Lawrence benefits from a similar "reality bump".
 
2013-06-13 11:29:29 AM  

DjangoStonereaver: momojoboo: Now I see why the pics always focus on her boobs, and almost always seem to be hiding her ass and waist.

Which really is a crime if you ask me.  She is beautiful no matter what frame of reference you use to examine
her.

/Likes meaty women and skinny women equally.


I'd examine her beautiful fram, if ya know what I mean, and I think you do.

Wellon Dowd: Jennifer Lawrence benefits from a similar "reality bump".


I'd give her a reality bump, if ya know what I mean, and I think you do.
 
2013-06-13 11:29:34 AM  

Wellon Dowd: Jennifer Lawrence benefits from a similar "reality bump".


With Lawrence it is more than just being real ... her under-her-breath comments are downright funny.
 
2013-06-13 11:30:26 AM  

PizzaJedi81: I'd examine her beautiful fram, if ya know what I mean, and I think you do.

Wellon Dowd: Jennifer Lawrence benefits from a similar "reality bump".

I'd give her a reality bump, if ya know what I mean, and I think you do.


Congratz ... you officially just wore that meme out.
 
2013-06-13 11:33:11 AM  
I am convinced that no one on Fark has been within 100 miles of a beach. Kate Upton is hot but you go to any beach in a warm climate and you will see 1000 girls just as attractive. Go during spring break and you will see that 10 fold. I guess we are a lot more spoiled in southern California. That and I am guessing for those Farkers that have a female significant other if she went and had some professional pictures done, like real professional, you would be surprised what a few tricks can do. I would bet a lot of your ladies would match up just fine against miss Upton.
 
2013-06-13 11:35:06 AM  

Farking Canuck: PizzaJedi81: I'd examine her beautiful fram, if ya know what I mean, and I think you do.

Wellon Dowd: Jennifer Lawrence benefits from a similar "reality bump".

I'd give her a reality bump, if ya know what I mean, and I think you do.

Congratz ... you officially just wore that meme out.



It's not a meme it's his signature. Let it be.
 
2013-06-13 11:37:00 AM  

Farking Canuck: PizzaJedi81: I'd examine her beautiful fram, if ya know what I mean, and I think you do.

Wellon Dowd: Jennifer Lawrence benefits from a similar "reality bump".

I'd give her a reality bump, if ya know what I mean, and I think you do.

Congratz ... you officially just wore that meme out.


Dont' worry, it'll come back around again.

I'd come back around again for them if ya know what I mean, and I think you do.
 
2013-06-13 11:43:49 AM  

Farking Canuck: I'd give her a reality bump, if ya know what I mean, and I think you do.

Congratz ... you officially just wore that meme out.


Kate Upton is a peach. Like when you eat a peach that is so ripe you can push your thumb through the skin. The juice runs down your chin and drips onto your chest, and in between your fingers it gets so sticky you have trouble separating them. The next day, even after you wash your hands, you can still smell the sweet juice on your skin and, if no one is watching, you lick your fingers and the memory of that sweet fruit on your tongue floods back. Kate is like that.
 
2013-06-13 11:52:28 AM  

Wellon Dowd: Farking Canuck: I'd give her a reality bump, if ya know what I mean, and I think you do.

Congratz ... you officially just wore that meme out.

Kate Upton is a peach. Like when you eat a peach that is so ripe you can push your thumb through the skin. The juice runs down your chin and drips onto your chest, and in between your fingers it gets so sticky you have trouble separating them. The next day, even after you wash your hands, you can still smell the sweet juice on your skin and, if no one is watching, you lick your fingers and the memory of that sweet fruit on your tongue floods back. Kate is like that.


adaptershack.com

i2.kym-cdn.com

And for the smarties out there:

www.macrochan.org
 
2013-06-13 12:03:17 PM  

PizzaJedi81: Wellon Dowd: Farking Canuck: I'd give her a reality bump, if ya know what I mean, and I think you do.

Congratz ... you officially just wore that meme out.

Kate Upton is a peach. Like when you eat a peach that is so ripe you can push your thumb through the skin. The juice runs down your chin and drips onto your chest, and in between your fingers it gets so sticky you have trouble separating them. The next day, even after you wash your hands, you can still smell the sweet juice on your skin and, if no one is watching, you lick your fingers and the memory of that sweet fruit on your tongue floods back. Kate is like that.

[adaptershack.com image 512x384]

[i2.kym-cdn.com image 460x455]

And for the smarties out there:

[www.macrochan.org image 472x645]


Well played, good sir.  Well played.
 
2013-06-13 12:05:25 PM  

TelemonianAjax: Well played, good sir. Well played.


I get a good one in every now and then...I think you can see where this is going.
 
2013-06-13 12:13:07 PM  
Kate is like that.

No, Scarlett is like that, but thanks for playing.
 
2013-06-13 12:15:47 PM  

Kurmudgeon: Kate is like that.

No, Scarlett is like that, but thanks for playing.


Why can't they both be like that?

Um...I'm off to my bunk. Back in 5.
 
2013-06-13 12:18:23 PM  
Kate is an absolutely gorgeous woman and seems like not only would she be a gorgeous girlfriend but also outrageously fun
 
2013-06-13 12:24:01 PM  

DubyaHater: stoli n coke: STUDMEN69 ASSEMBLE!

Overweight
Weird torso
Love handles
No ass
Chicken legs


I love how this retard calls her overweight right before he refers to her flat ass and chicken legs! what makes her overweight genius? That she doesn't have a six pack like the boy of your dreams? If anything, she's underweight.

And then of course we have the basement Nostradamus who shows up in every thread featuring a girl over 90 pounds to inform us she's going to look like a whale by 25:)

Don't kid yourselves dipshiats...the hottest girl who's ever even said hi to you looks like a dead racoon next to this chick.
 
2013-06-13 12:24:59 PM  

Magnanimous_J: It only counts as studmanning if you purposely try to disempower a woman with your dismissive comments. I think you're safe on this one.


Funny, here I thought judging women on the exclusive, or even primary, basis of their physical appearance was still objectification and disempowerment, regardless if it's positive or negative.  Go home everybody, feminism's solved forever.
 
2013-06-13 12:34:12 PM  

that bosnian sniper: Magnanimous_J: It only counts as studmanning if you purposely try to disempower a woman with your dismissive comments. I think you're safe on this one.

Funny, here I thought judging women on the exclusive, or even primary, basis of their physical appearance was still objectification and disempowerment, regardless if it's positive or negative.  Go home everybody, feminism's solved forever.


Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. That's probably why Beyonce, Katy Perry, Jennifer Aniston, the Olsen twins, and hundreds more are kajillionaires. They were disempowered into wealth and power.
 
2013-06-13 12:39:38 PM  
For fark's sake, we all want to pork her.  All of this other jibba jabba is nonsense.
 
2013-06-13 12:52:31 PM  

DubyaHater: indarwinsshadow: DubyaHater: indarwinsshadow: DubyaHater: stoli n coke: STUDMEN69 ASSEMBLE!

Overweight
Weird torso
Love handles
No ass
Chicken legs

[i2.photobucket.com image 182x202]

It's like you're walking around with a "kick me in the nuts" sign taped to your forhead. Ever heard the saying "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all"? No? Well, now you have.

She still won't sleep with you. I know it keeps you up night, wondering what you can do on the internet to catch the attention of Miss Upton. Keep white knighting though. It makes you look really cool in the eyes of a bunch of anonymous Farkers

Awww. Now I've upset you. Sorry muffin. I keep forgetting how sensitive some people are. Here's a cookie. I'll call your mom and she'll come and pick you up so you don't have to hear the taunts no mores. Poor snowflake.
She wouldn't sleep with you, me or probably any farker. Pointing out when you're acting like a tool isn't being a white knight. It's just pointing out you're acting like a child. Live with it.


You're right. I expressed my opinion and was immediately chastised for it. Anyone with differing opinions should just keep quiet in your presence or risk "being kicked in the nuts". And yet I'm acting like a child. Good luck with that attitude.



Dude, stop with the whining. Just drop the Ultimate Fark Studman69 Nuclear Weapon™ on him: threaten to put him on ignore.
 
2013-06-13 01:18:26 PM  
Kate,

Call me,  I don't have any hair on my back...
 
2013-06-13 01:20:12 PM  

Wellon Dowd: Farking Canuck: I'd give her a reality bump, if ya know what I mean, and I think you do.

Congratz ... you officially just wore that meme out.

Kate Upton is a peach. Like when you eat a peach that is so ripe you can push your thumb through the skin. The juice runs down your chin and drips onto your chest, and in between your fingers it gets so sticky you have trouble separating them. The next day, even after you wash your hands, you can still smell the sweet juice on your skin and, if no one is watching, you lick your fingers and the memory of that sweet fruit on your tongue floods back. Kate is like that.


If Kate Upton plops her fat ass down on your toilet, you better get the plunger ready.  She BEEFS.  She'll drop 5 or 6 forearm-sized logs in there with no flushes in between. Rumor has it that on the set of the SI 2012 Swimsuit Issue shoot she used to shiat in the shower and heel it down the drain.
 
2013-06-13 01:25:38 PM  
Pants full of macaroni!!:
If Kate Upton plops her fat ass down on your toilet, you better get the plunger ready.  She BEEFS.  She'll drop 5 or 6 forearm-sized logs in there with no flushes in between. Rumor has it that on the set of the SI 2012 Swimsuit Issue shoot she used to shiat in the shower and heel it down the drain.

That was a way too bitter and transparent way of coming out to a bunch of strangers on the internet! Have you at least come out to your family yet? If you haven't, just run upstairs and do it real quick.
 
2013-06-13 01:26:30 PM  

Pants full of macaroni!!: If Kate Upton plops her fat ass down on your


I like where this is headed!

toilet, you better get the plunger ready.  She BEEFS.  She'll drop 5 or 6 forearm-sized logs in there with no flushes in between. Rumor has it that on the set of the SI 2012 Swimsuit Issue shoot she used to shiat in the shower and heel it down the drain.

Dear God, no! Damn you!
 
2013-06-13 01:34:45 PM  
www.rigsofrods.com
 
2013-06-13 01:34:47 PM  

Wartime Consiglieri: DubyaHater: stoli n coke: STUDMEN69 ASSEMBLE!

Overweight
Weird torso
Love handles
No ass
Chicken legs

I love how this retard calls her overweight right before he refers to her flat ass and chicken legs! what makes her overweight genius? That she doesn't have a six pack like the boy of your dreams? If anything, she's underweight.

And then of course we have the basement Nostradamus who shows up in every thread featuring a girl over 90 pounds to inform us she's going to look like a whale by 25:)

Don't kid yourselves dipshiats...the hottest girl who's ever even said hi to you looks like a dead racoon next to this chick.


Keep going, man! She's just about to contact you for sex!
 
2013-06-13 01:35:29 PM  

Wartime Consiglieri: Pants full of macaroni!!:
If Kate Upton plops her fat ass down on your toilet, you better get the plunger ready.  She BEEFS.  She'll drop 5 or 6 forearm-sized logs in there with no flushes in between. Rumor has it that on the set of the SI 2012 Swimsuit Issue shoot she used to shiat in the shower and heel it down the drain.

That was a way too bitter and transparent way of coming out to a bunch of strangers on the internet! Have you at least come out to your family yet? If you haven't, just run upstairs and do it real quick.


You did it! You did it! She's calling you right now! I know it!
 
2013-06-13 01:39:31 PM  

Pants full of macaroni!!: Wellon Dowd: Farking Canuck: I'd give her a reality bump, if ya know what I mean, and I think you do.

Congratz ... you officially just wore that meme out.

Kate Upton is a peach. Like when you eat a peach that is so ripe you can push your thumb through the skin. The juice runs down your chin and drips onto your chest, and in between your fingers it gets so sticky you have trouble separating them. The next day, even after you wash your hands, you can still smell the sweet juice on your skin and, if no one is watching, you lick your fingers and the memory of that sweet fruit on your tongue floods back. Kate is like that.

If Kate Upton plops her fat ass down on your toilet, you better get the plunger ready.  She BEEFS.  She'll drop 5 or 6 forearm-sized logs in there with no flushes in between. Rumor has it that on the set of the SI 2012 Swimsuit Issue shoot she used to shiat in the shower and heel it down the drain.


I'd jerk off to the smell of her shiat
 
2013-06-13 02:04:48 PM  
Those are some extremely sharp knees.
 
2013-06-13 02:04:51 PM  

FarkingReading: Wartime Consiglieri: Pants full of macaroni!!:
If Kate Upton plops her fat ass down on your toilet, you better get the plunger ready.  She BEEFS.  She'll drop 5 or 6 forearm-sized logs in there with no flushes in between. Rumor has it that on the set of the SI 2012 Swimsuit Issue shoot she used to shiat in the shower and heel it down the drain.

That was a way too bitter and transparent way of coming out to a bunch of strangers on the internet! Have you at least come out to your family yet? If you haven't, just run upstairs and do it real quick.

You did it! You did it! She's calling you right now! I know it!


Not quite champ. If anyone's delusional here, it's the virgin trolls who think bashing chicks they couldn't get a hello from in real life makes them seem like they actually get laid once a year.
 
2013-06-13 02:08:07 PM  
I would lick the dick of the dog, that pisses on the tire of the truck that hauls her trash off.

/Not mine...stolen
//don't actually think I would go that far
///slashies
 
2013-06-13 02:09:51 PM  
Casting her in a movie called The Other Woman is kind of stupid. I mean... if the other woman is Kate Upton, you should probably just give up and let her have it.

I wish I could recall the name of the comic that did the bit, so I'll try to poorly recall it here: "Sure, I'd get mad if my wife cheated on me... except if she cheated on me with Brad Pitt. I'd be like, 'OMG details!!'" That sorta thing, just replace wife with husband and Brad Pitt with Kate Upton.
 
2013-06-13 02:19:33 PM  
I'd drink an ocean of her pee just to see where it was coming from.

I'd crawl through 10 miles of broken glass, dragging my penis through it all the way, just to see the laundry truck that takes away her used underwear.

/no, not really
//but this is fun nonetheless
 
2013-06-13 02:20:36 PM  

Wartime Consiglieri: FarkingReading: Wartime Consiglieri: Pants full of macaroni!!:
If Kate Upton plops her fat ass down on your toilet, you better get the plunger ready.  She BEEFS.  She'll drop 5 or 6 forearm-sized logs in there with no flushes in between. Rumor has it that on the set of the SI 2012 Swimsuit Issue shoot she used to shiat in the shower and heel it down the drain.

That was a way too bitter and transparent way of coming out to a bunch of strangers on the internet! Have you at least come out to your family yet? If you haven't, just run upstairs and do it real quick.

You did it! You did it! She's calling you right now! I know it!

Not quite champ. If anyone's delusional here, it's the virgin trolls who think bashing chicks they couldn't get a hello from in real life makes them seem like they actually get laid once a year.


everybody poops.
 
2013-06-13 02:32:56 PM  
When Fark is drooling all over Kate Upton, I can understand. Nice tits and a gorgeous face go a longway.

I just don't get the Emma Watson fanfare around here
 
2013-06-13 02:58:09 PM  

Mind of the North Star: When Fark is drooling all over Kate Upton, I can understand. Nice tits and a gorgeous face go a longway.

I just don't get the Emma Watson fanfare around here


Seriously. You "don't get it" when some people find someone attractive who you do not find attractive?

/it's not a difficult concept
 
2013-06-13 03:08:06 PM  

Mind of the North Star: When Fark is drooling all over Kate Upton, I can understand. Nice tits and a gorgeous face go a longway.

I just don't get the Emma Watson fanfare around here


Big gals, little gals,
Gals who climb on rocks
Fat gals, skinny gals
Even gals with chicken pox
The gals I love to bite!
 
2013-06-13 03:34:50 PM  
She likely shiats strawberries and all you studmen would Andy Samberg yourselves if she walked up to you and said boo.
 
2013-06-13 03:41:08 PM  

RoyHobbs22: She likely shiats strawberries and all you studmen would Andy Samberg yourselves if she walked up to you and said boo.


We'd punch ourselves in the face before eating?
We'd put our d*cks in a box?
We'd Ji...Oh I get it.  You're sick.

/yeah, I probably would, though I hope she'd say something a little more interesting than "boo"
 
2013-06-13 03:41:49 PM  

DubyaHater: stoli n coke: STUDMEN69 ASSEMBLE!

Overweight
Weird torso
Love handles
No ass
Chicken legs


Every single bit of what you said is true, and yet, from the bottom of her ribcage on up she is so goddamn sublime, that she's still one of the hottest women in existence.

/Bar Refaeli or Kelly Brook for hottest famous white woman alive
//Alison Brie for 3rd
 
2013-06-13 03:42:24 PM  
I would stab all of you just for the chance to hold the hand of gynecologist

I would be willing to push the button to launch the nukes if I could spent the last 30 minutes humanity has left on the planet in a threesome with her and Kate Beckinsale.
 
2013-06-13 03:55:45 PM  
None of you remembers the "Kelly Clarkson beefs" meme, I see.....

/my work here is done
 
2013-06-13 04:27:50 PM  
Pants full of macaroni!!:
If Kate Upton plops her fat ass down on your toilet, you better get the plunger ready.  She BEEFS.  She'll drop 5 or 6 forearm-sized logs in there with no flushes in between. Rumor has it that on the set of the SI 2012 Swimsuit Issue shoot she used to shiat in the shower and heel it down the drain.

I forgot about this...Thank you so much, the thread is now over.
 
2013-06-13 04:29:30 PM  
Pants full of macaroni!!:

Which thread is that from? I would love to go there and spit water all over my monitor and keyboard.
 
2013-06-13 05:59:21 PM  
Too bad this gif couldn't be embedded, but mother of god, in my bunk, dont shower her and bring to my quarters

http://imgbox.com/acpeFrjr
 
2013-06-13 06:48:24 PM  

Farking Canuck: Mind of the North Star: When Fark is drooling all over Kate Upton, I can understand. Nice tits and a gorgeous face go a longway.

I just don't get the Emma Watson fanfare around here

Seriously. You "don't get it" when some people find someone attractive who you do not find attractive?

/it's not a difficult concept


I have no idea why you felt the need to reply with that.

I never said I didn't find the girl attractive or that she was hideous. I also didn't pulled a "you can't like what I don't like". I just don't see why she is rated as high as she is. That's... pretty much it.

The most anyone should have rationally pulled from my post was "Hey... this guy has a difference in opinion".

/Difference in opinion
//now that is not a difficult concept
 
2013-06-13 06:54:04 PM  

roflmaonow: Too bad this gif couldn't be embedded, but mother of god, in my bunk, dont shower her and bring to my quarters

http://imgbox.com/acpeFrjr


Might wanna throw a NSFW on that.
 
2013-06-13 08:09:13 PM  
Jeez... I intimately know someone in her 40s who has a better body than Upton. There's such a thing as waist-to-hip ratio. Kate looks like a sack filled with whipped potatoes from her ribcage to her ass. Sure, she has nice boobs, but they only draw so much attention because she wears bras/bikinis that are a size too small, and her boobfat spills out the sides, like a fat man in a hammock.

Ultimately, I can't get past her weird Toddlers & Tiaras baby face, though. It's creepy.
 
2013-06-13 09:57:57 PM  
High maintenance not worth the price of admission.
 
ecl [BareFark]
2013-06-13 10:48:22 PM  

ZeroCorpse: Jeez... I intimately know someone in her 40s who has a better body than Upton. There's such a thing as waist-to-hip ratio. Kate looks like a sack filled with whipped potatoes from her ribcage to her ass. Sure, she has nice boobs, but they only draw so much attention because she wears bras/bikinis that are a size too small, and her boobfat spills out the sides, like a fat man in a hammock.

Ultimately, I can't get past her weird Toddlers & Tiaras baby face, though. It's creepy.


img.fark.net
 
2013-06-14 11:52:18 AM  

ecl: ZeroCorpse: Jeez... I intimately know someone in her 40s who has a better body than Upton. There's such a thing as waist-to-hip ratio. Kate looks like a sack filled with whipped potatoes from her ribcage to her ass. Sure, she has nice boobs, but they only draw so much attention because she wears bras/bikinis that are a size too small, and her boobfat spills out the sides, like a fat man in a hammock.

Ultimately, I can't get past her weird Toddlers & Tiaras baby face, though. It's creepy.

[img.fark.net image 655x565]


NO, it's just that men seem to be fascinated by some women merely because those women are plastered all over the media.  It's sort of the same phenomenon as "money makes a man more attractive".  I'm not saying Kate isn't good looking, but there are tons of women who are just as good looking (if not more) than Kate but yet don't have this weird fascination cult built around them simply because they are not famous.

So yes, she is attractive but no, she is not one-of-a-kind attractive.
 
2013-06-14 04:46:59 PM  
For me the best things about Kate (well, besides the million watt smile and magnificent breasts) is that she is not covered in tattoos and piercings.
While there is nothing wrong with tattoos and piercings, I just do not find them attractive.
 
2013-06-14 07:23:15 PM  
No way, no day, would I turn that down.  But, to be absolutely honest, she is lacking in hips.  I would sacrifice 20% of her bust for a 20% increase in her hips.
 
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