Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Guardian)   Record-breaking snake apparently susceptible to shrinkage   ( divider line
    More: Followup  
•       •       •

19482 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Jan 2004 at 6:21 PM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

62 Comments     (+0 »)

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

2004-01-05 05:12:02 PM  
"You mean it shrinks?"

George Castanza nods in obvious agreement.
2004-01-05 05:13:51 PM  
must have joined the polar bear club
2004-01-05 05:21:32 PM  
Like a frightened turtle...
2004-01-05 05:41:58 PM  
I dunno about you guys, but to me a snake that's 7 meters long might as well be 15 meters long. Once you get to that size, I won't be hanging around long enough to hear any more information about it.
2004-01-05 05:50:58 PM  
I might as well claim the snake is 15 long, as the wife already doesn't believe the 7.
2004-01-05 06:23:50 PM  
Yes, yes I am...oh wait, you mean its a real snake? Nevermind
2004-01-05 06:26:10 PM  
The last time, they measured the snake from his taint.
2004-01-05 06:26:57 PM  
Know the feeling well.
2004-01-05 06:28:31 PM  
That would get painful if it never did.
2004-01-05 06:30:25 PM  
They named it Fragrant Flower? I bet that thing stunk damn bad when they found it.
2004-01-05 06:31:13 PM  
Everyone knows its Slinky.... music playing in background.
2004-01-05 06:34:40 PM  
2004-01-05 06:26:10 PM SanchezSucio

The last time, they measured the snake from his taint.

2004-01-05 06:35:09 PM  
They should use a female herpetologist for maximum results.
2004-01-05 06:35:42 PM  
liar liar pants on fire
2004-01-05 06:38:03 PM  
I'm right behind you. Snakes are gross.
2004-01-05 06:38:31 PM  
The old swith a roo. Eating 'roos causes shrinkage.

Irwin: feed 'em your baby, share it with a dingo!

/"On trip 4 westbound. Flying low. Engine quit. Only place to land on cow. Killed cow. Wrecked plane. Scared me. Smith." Dean Smith, Airmail Pilot

?cain't help it I'm male...
2004-01-05 06:38:57 PM  
"If this is a spiritual ruler snake then perhaps it really can stretch and change size"

Booga Booga Booga!
2004-01-05 06:39:13 PM  
i bet its that small ass cage they have him in. If he were in, say, the san diego zoo with a vast amount of space to roam free, he would probably grow back to his original size as he was in the wild, and after he eats a few indonesian children...
2004-01-05 06:40:34 PM  
Shrinkage? What do you mean, like laundry?
2004-01-05 06:40:54 PM  
amen to that exick. I don't care if it knits golden socks, I want no part of any snake.
2004-01-05 06:41:31 PM  
If I pee after I swim, my balls get wet.
2004-01-05 06:42:16 PM  

Aww, they can be friendly. The last place I worked, we had 2 pet snake at the office. A boa and a king snake. The king snake was evil, but the boa was cool. She'd wrap herself around your arm and fall asleep while you were typing.
2004-01-05 06:42:26 PM  
Think cold shower.
2004-01-05 06:42:48 PM  
Badgerbagerbagerbagerbagerbagerbagerbagerbagerbagerbagerbager, Mushroom, mushroom...

It's a snake! It's a snake! Oh, it's a snake!
2004-01-05 06:43:17 PM  
As the previous owner of several snakes (a couple over 10 ft.) I will be the first to say that they are almost impossible to stretch out and measure the length. You basically have to wait until they stretch out on their own and then try to measure it. These things are incredibly stong. But I can almost guarantee that this thing ain't even close to 49 ft. or whatever these fools are claiming.
Kiz [BareFark]
2004-01-05 06:44:48 PM  
My wife (who's a bit of an expert on herps) looked at the CNN pics when they first showed up and said that there was no way that the thing was anywhere near as large as claimed. Me, I was gonna take their word for it.
2004-01-05 06:46:24 PM  
Cold day in Indonesia?
2004-01-05 06:47:01 PM  
Elaine: It shrinks?
Jerry: Like a frightened turtle!
Elaine: Why does it shrink?
George: It just does.
Elaine: I don't know how you guys walk around with those things.
2004-01-05 06:49:14 PM  
2004-01-05 06:49:40 PM  
Still gets a 'crikey' (only half as loud as before)
2004-01-05 06:49:57 PM  
Cheers to all the Farkers who looked at the photos last week and called bs on the snake's length.

Jeers to the BBC for broadcasting this story worldwide and accepting the facts without doing *any* research.
2004-01-05 06:52:59 PM  
Alas, my plans for abducting the snake and installing cybernetic armaments before finally unleashing it upon the homeless have been thwarted.
2004-01-05 07:00:23 PM  
Feet people, Feet! What's next "the beast weighs 10 stone!" Damn fureners!
2004-01-05 07:07:18 PM  
So how do snakes shag? And if male snakes have their tackle on their underside, doesn't it hurt dragging their balls around in the dust all day? I know mine do.
2004-01-05 07:15:16 PM  
Snake shagging is a really interesting topic. Snakes (and some other types of reptiles) have two penises. Each one is called a hemipenis. Each hemipenis has its own testicle associated with it. When still inside the snake it can be considered as if it is inside out. When one is exerted (they only use one at a time) it turns right side. Many species of snake have numerous spikes, barbs and protrusions on their hemipenises, which can be used in identification. Some snakes seem to show a preference of one hemipenis over another.
2004-01-05 07:16:11 PM  
It'd probably expand again if you fed it Viagra.

/got nothin'
2004-01-05 07:21:48 PM  
"Snake tales" are going to rank right up there with "fish tales."

"I swear! It was this long!!!

Oh yeah. And "penis tales."
2004-01-05 07:23:17 PM  
Oh yeah! Female snakes, after breeding with a male, can store sperm for a number of years. So one farking can keep you knocked up for quite awhile.
2004-01-05 07:24:36 PM  
Wow! The answer went way
beyond my expectations. A hemipenis? You're not making that up, right? So they can retract it into their bodies when not in use, so to speak? I figured it might be something like that. Cheers.

Snake shagging is a really interesting topic.

That one single line made my morning.
2004-01-05 07:25:44 PM  
Another one of my favorite Size Tales is "Really, I had bigger boobs before I had kids. When the milk went, they got smaller than before." No, your body got fatter (and stayed that way - so much for eating for two) in proportion to your boobs, and now your boobs look tiny compared to your whale bod.

/Spin is in a rare really bad mood tonight - sorry
2004-01-05 07:30:44 PM  

I KNEW IT! "Please, please, please come spend money in our third-world country. We have biggest snake. Honest." Sound familiar?

/shameless gloating
2004-01-05 07:32:16 PM  
So they can retract it into their bodies when not in use, so to speak?

Yep, tucked away for safe keeping. A snaked can be sexed (sex determination) using a metal probe gently inserted into the cloaca (toward the tail)of the snake. If it doesn't go in much past the opening then it is a female. If it goes in a reasonable bit then it is a male (the probe goes into the inside out hemipenis).
2004-01-05 07:32:48 PM  
But at least it still has a great personality.
2004-01-05 07:38:15 PM  
When I saw the first pictures of the snake I thought to myself either that snake isn't anywhere near the size claimed, or it must have been a really really shiatty camera angle.. thanks for the follow up so we know for sure now!
2004-01-05 07:44:57 PM  
So, ummm, what about positions? I mean, do they kind of roll over on their sides?
2004-01-05 07:51:44 PM  
The red-sided garter snake has huge orgies of hundreds of males competing over a handful of females. Whether out of evolution or a very twisted sense of fun, some males have adapted to "mimic" the scent of a female, causing other males to mistake them for a female. Thus the mimic takes a few for (from?) the team, so to speak, to increase his chances of scoring with the female.

So, I guess the moral is the next time you're feeling really really desperate....
2004-01-05 07:59:45 PM  
No rolling over is necessary. Snakes are very flexible and the cloacal region of the snake can be turned to the side or the male can position his cloaca under the females (his facing up, hers facing down). Since a snake is so flexible that is can practically tie itself into a not the positions are probably endless. But since the snake is getting some only a limited number of times a year (during breeding season) sexual boredom doesn't likely induce positional expirementation
2004-01-05 08:58:45 PM  
"The reason he is not that large now is because he has not eaten for about six weeks and has just shed his skin so his body is quite firm at the moment," explains Darmanto, pushing his index finger hard into the body. "When he's at his full length he's much softer and I can push my finger in much further."

Okay, that's vaguely disturbing...
2004-01-05 10:11:10 PM  
I bow to ScienceBoy's expertise. Outside Winnipeg, Manitoba Canada there is a annual mating of the garter snake show. There's a bazillion garter snakes that live in a rock quarry, and when it's humping time (sorry to be so un-technical) it's like an orgy. Hundreds of snakes rolled up in a giant ball, apparently positioning their cloacas into the females. Maybe getting a little tongue action too. But folks come from miles around to sit at the edge of the quarry and watch the snakes mate. Well, Jeeze, if you had to live in Manitoba you'd be happy for something to do on a spring afternoon.
2004-01-05 10:17:33 PM  

Dodge owners should love that one.

Sounds better than Mopar, at least.

Anyway, too bad they never found this one.
Displayed 50 of 62 comments

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter

Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.