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(Edmonton Journal)   New app would allow you to snitch on illegal parkers, and get rewarded with a cut of the fine. It will also become commonplace to beat people to a pulp if they're caught using said app   (edmontonjournal.com) divider line 26
    More: Stupid, handicapped parking, website designers  
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6048 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Jun 2013 at 6:42 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-06-12 06:10:08 PM  
7 votes:
Snitches get riches.
2013-06-12 07:03:24 PM  
6 votes:
www.killsometime.com
I'm okay with this.
2013-06-12 05:55:00 PM  
5 votes:
We are building a finking force of extraordinary magnitude
2013-06-12 07:06:17 PM  
4 votes:

clintster: [www.killsometime.com image 450x600]
I'm okay with this.


Yes. Chalk is often a good thing to keep at the ready, apparently.
i.imgur.com
i.imgur.com
2013-06-12 06:23:23 PM  
4 votes:

MisterTweak: jehovahs witness protection: ManateeGag: around here, I'd make a fortune ratting out people using handicapped parking spaces without proper tags.

I would be happy to get some of the fine. $500 bucks here.
Beats blocking them in while I unload my wheelchair and making them wait until I'm done shopping.

You made me remember something from like 30-ish years ago - I worked in a retail store, and there was this one twit who loved to park his car sideways across two handicap spots while he went shopping. Young, healthy guy who made a point of showing off his muscles. Totally ignored the signs warning of a large fine (I think it was like $250 + community service or something).

One day a guy pulled in behind him with a special van for a person in a wheelchair, obviously someone with complex issues - took them like 15 minutes to get the chair out, help the person into it, do various.. stuff... but in any case, aforementioned d-bag started panicking after about 5 minutes because a parking scooter was visible in the distance, slooooooowly working it's way closer. He was pleading with the people in the van to pleeeaase allow him to move, but with a lot of bemused people around including some that obviously knew him, he was doing it politery and totally ineffectively.

Anyhow, eventually the parking lady arrived, and spent no less than 10 minutes lecturing the d-bag, while a cop arrived who obviously determined that there was some other issue (I'm guessing outstanding parking tickets), meaning d-bag's car was getting towed. Sadly this was before cellphone cams (probably too early for even the big camcorders) or the sight of Mr. Roid Rage in tears as his sweet ride was dragged over the huge speed bumps would have been epic youtube stuff.


Polaroids or it didn't happen.
2013-06-12 08:07:18 PM  
3 votes:
This one amuses me -- gets the point across without needless damage.

www.lolwow.com
2013-06-12 06:49:11 PM  
3 votes:
It occurs to me that someone with photoshop skills could use this to keep the parking authority busy running around the city like chickens with their heads cut off. Not that I'm suggesting such a thing, of course. My brain is just in its "how could this possibly backfire in spectacular fashion" default mode.
2013-06-12 06:20:27 PM  
3 votes:

jehovahs witness protection: ManateeGag: around here, I'd make a fortune ratting out people using handicapped parking spaces without proper tags.

I would be happy to get some of the fine. $500 bucks here.
Beats blocking them in while I unload my wheelchair and making them wait until I'm done shopping.


You made me remember something from like 30-ish years ago - I worked in a retail store, and there was this one twit who loved to park his car sideways across two handicap spots while he went shopping. Young, healthy guy who made a point of showing off his muscles. Totally ignored the signs warning of a large fine (I think it was like $250 + community service or something).

One day a guy pulled in behind him with a special van for a person in a wheelchair, obviously someone with complex issues - took them like 15 minutes to get the chair out, help the person into it, do various.. stuff... but in any case, aforementioned d-bag started panicking after about 5 minutes because a parking scooter was visible in the distance, slooooooowly working it's way closer. He was pleading with the people in the van to pleeeaase allow him to move, but with a lot of bemused people around including some that obviously knew him, he was doing it politery and totally ineffectively.

Anyhow, eventually the parking lady arrived, and spent no less than 10 minutes lecturing the d-bag, while a cop arrived who obviously determined that there was some other issue (I'm guessing outstanding parking tickets), meaning d-bag's car was getting towed. Sadly this was before cellphone cams (probably too early for even the big camcorders) or the sight of Mr. Roid Rage in tears as his sweet ride was dragged over the huge speed bumps would have been epic youtube stuff.
2013-06-12 08:11:00 PM  
2 votes:
What's wrong with peeing on the car like a normal person?
2013-06-12 06:48:26 PM  
2 votes:

scottydoesntknow: It will also become commonplace to beat people to a pulp if they're caught using said app

So I'm guessing subby follows the "snitches get stitches" street motto.

This is no different than CrimeStoppers or 222-TIPS. Those people get a reward for any information leading to arrests of individuals who broke the law.

Don't want to get a fine for illegally parking? Don't illegally park. I got some douchebag's car in my apartment complex towed because he insisted on double-parking his ugly truck over two handicapped spots (no placard of course). First I put a sign on his window saying "Stupidity is not a handicap. Park here again and I'll make sure it's towed." He challenged it so I called the office and watched as a tow truck came and picked it up.


Putting a sign on his window exposes you to an awful lot of risk, as you may be spotted doing so, and the kind of person who does this kind of thing may well be the kind of person who responds violently.  This was a bad call.

Instead, you should have just firebombed it from a distance.  Molotov cocktails solve all sorts of problems.
2013-06-12 06:17:29 PM  
2 votes:

doglover: scottydoesntknow: So I'm guessing subby follows the "snitches get stitches" street motto.

Everybody follows it, even if they say they don't. It's a hardwired thing.


Appers get slappers?
2013-06-12 06:16:28 PM  
2 votes:

GreenAdder: Mitch Taylor's Bro: No, it's a douchebag thing. If you do something wrong and someone "snitches," the right thing to do is accept your punishment like an adult and don't do it again.

But if someone only takes up one parking space, someone might dent the door on his 1998 Accord. Even worse, that person might have to walk an extra five feet to get into the store.


Judging from this website, this might actually be a worse problem than I first suspected.

http://iparklikeanass.com/
2013-06-12 06:02:07 PM  
2 votes:
Who needs an app? Greasing the door handle is pretty satisfying on it's own.
2013-06-12 05:26:19 PM  
2 votes:
It will also become commonplace to beat people to a pulp if they're caught using said app

So I'm guessing subby follows the "snitches get stitches" street motto.

This is no different than CrimeStoppers or 222-TIPS. Those people get a reward for any information leading to arrests of individuals who broke the law.

Don't want to get a fine for illegally parking? Don't illegally park. I got some douchebag's car in my apartment complex towed because he insisted on double-parking his ugly truck over two handicapped spots (no placard of course). First I put a sign on his window saying "Stupidity is not a handicap. Park here again and I'll make sure it's towed." He challenged it so I called the office and watched as a tow truck came and picked it up.
2013-06-13 01:07:44 AM  
1 votes:

lack of warmth: TwowheelinTim: S#!T, and I've been doing it for free all this time when I find a car parked in the bike lane.

The enzymes in saliva will eat through the toughest paint jobs. It almost breaks my heart when it's a really nice car the perpetrator has illegally parked, but not enough to keep me from leaving my mark.

I can only imagine how motor morons would react if I parked my bicycle in the automobile traffic lanes.

Yeah, I know, you'd just run over it wouldn't you mr/mrs tough guy.

Your accelerator pedal leg muscles must be pretty strong huh?

I drive a truck.  It isn't hard to pick up an 'abandoned' bicycle.  It also doesn't take long to cut a bike into scrap.

Cool your jets Francis, everyone gets crapped on.


Yeah, but not everybody is driving a 8000 pound cage.

If you don't like where I ride my bicycle, maybe you should take the bus.
2013-06-12 10:56:41 PM  
1 votes:
I was waiting at a bus stop when some biatch parked her Beamer in the "no parking, bus stop" space and strutted across the street to a bistro.   I let the air out of two tires so the tow truck called by the bus driver wouldn't waste a trip.

Watched a guy park his Porsche in a no-parking zone right in front of me.  As he exited his car, he heard me saying into my phone, "Hello, Parking Control? I got a live one for  ya."  He cursed me, ranting that it was no big deal and he always parked there. He went into his building, but came back ten minutes later.  Cursed me again as he moved the car.   I didn't have Parking Control's number, of course.

Then there was the Caddy owner who thought it was cool to park at the corner, totally blocking the crosswalk and sidewalk.  I called to him as he returned with his ice cream cone, "Better have that engine checked, asshole!"  He walked all the way around his car looking high and low for damage; best of all, his ice cream fell out of the cone as he bent over. Hope the checkup cost him something substantial.
2013-06-12 08:43:14 PM  
1 votes:
Snitches get stitches and end up in ditches.
2013-06-12 08:40:17 PM  
1 votes:
Why you don't park in front of fire hydrants:
www.escalonfire.com
www.bannedinhollywood.com
cl.jroo.mewww.firenuggets.comwordlesstech.com
/I'd imagine firefighters must get some satisfaction when they get to do this
2013-06-12 08:20:44 PM  
1 votes:

Mitch Taylor's Bro: MisterTweak: jehovahs witness protection: ManateeGag: around here, I'd make a fortune ratting out people using handicapped parking spaces without proper tags.

I would be happy to get some of the fine. $500 bucks here.
Beats blocking them in while I unload my wheelchair and making them wait until I'm done shopping.

You made me remember something from like 30-ish years ago - I worked in a retail store, and there was this one twit who loved to park his car sideways across two handicap spots while he went shopping. Young, healthy guy who made a point of showing off his muscles. Totally ignored the signs warning of a large fine (I think it was like $250 + community service or something).

One day a guy pulled in behind him with a special van for a person in a wheelchair, obviously someone with complex issues - took them like 15 minutes to get the chair out, help the person into it, do various.. stuff... but in any case, aforementioned d-bag started panicking after about 5 minutes because a parking scooter was visible in the distance, slooooooowly working it's way closer. He was pleading with the people in the van to pleeeaase allow him to move, but with a lot of bemused people around including some that obviously knew him, he was doing it politery and totally ineffectively.

Anyhow, eventually the parking lady arrived, and spent no less than 10 minutes lecturing the d-bag, while a cop arrived who obviously determined that there was some other issue (I'm guessing outstanding parking tickets), meaning d-bag's car was getting towed. Sadly this was before cellphone cams (probably too early for even the big camcorders) or the sight of Mr. Roid Rage in tears as his sweet ride was dragged over the huge speed bumps would have been epic youtube stuff.

Polaroids or it didn't happen.


dl.dropboxusercontent.com
2013-06-12 07:13:29 PM  
1 votes:

badLogic: Pocket Ninja: I'm ambivalent on this for parking, but if they invented something similar to turn in the rat bastards who violate HOV lanes, I'd be all over it.

That, and some sort of law allowing me to run down people who leave their shopping carts in the middle of parking lots. Those two things are all I ask.

Agreed, plus people that use handicap spots who don't have the wheelie sticker.  Could we also start ticketing the douchbags that take up four parking spots at once in a parking lot?


I pulled into a convenience store and some guy pulled his VW Van (old school) into the handicapped parking at the same time.  I made it a point to check for a handicapped placard or plates, then commented that the space was reserved.  He started yelling "how do you know I'm not handicapped!"  I told him, "if you were, you'd have the proper plates, but I'm willing to accept that you suffer from severe brain damage."  He tried to act threatening, but I just stood there laughing at him.
2013-06-12 07:08:48 PM  
1 votes:

Fonaibung: Oh yeah, and am I the only one that has keyed cars for parking like assholes,



My lawyer has advised me not to comment on the matter.
2013-06-12 06:56:21 PM  
1 votes:

FatherChaos: The followup to this story will be in a month or so with "45 people shot to death this month for snitching on illegal parkers, program revoked in the interest of public safety."


and every time we'll all chime in about how nice it is to hear from responsible gun owners.  Every time.
2013-06-12 06:54:51 PM  
1 votes:

NickelP: I bet you could scout out some sweet spots that aren't marked well and make bank by just keeping an eye on them


Much like in bottle return states, I expect a cottage industry to pop up where homeless people scour the city for illegally parked cars.

/bonus points for the new brand of car thief that steals a car and then illegally parks it so they can collect when it is ticketed
2013-06-12 06:54:39 PM  
1 votes:

TommyymmoT: crotchgrabber: Who needs an app? Greasing the door handle is pretty satisfying on it's own.

I don't usually carry grease with me.


I don't either, but I do seem to have an endless supply of a certain sticky substance that I think would be a good substitute.
2013-06-12 06:50:30 PM  
1 votes:
I can't wait till the first beatdown happens because somebody catches a pig parked illegally
2013-06-12 06:00:04 PM  
1 votes:
I'm ambivalent on this for parking, but if they invented something similar to turn in the rat bastards who violate HOV lanes, I'd be all over it.

That, and some sort of law allowing me to run down people who leave their shopping carts in the middle of parking lots. Those two things are all I ask.
 
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