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(Edmonton Journal)   New app would allow you to snitch on illegal parkers, and get rewarded with a cut of the fine. It will also become commonplace to beat people to a pulp if they're caught using said app   (edmontonjournal.com) divider line 68
    More: Stupid, handicapped parking, website designers  
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6041 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Jun 2013 at 6:42 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
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Archived thread
2013-06-12 06:05:12 PM
11 votes:

doglover: scottydoesntknow: So I'm guessing subby follows the "snitches get stitches" street motto.

Everybody follows it, even if they say they don't. It's a hardwired thing.


No, it's a douchebag thing. If you do something wrong and someone "snitches," the right thing to do is accept your punishment like an adult and don't do it again. If you're an entitled douchebag, yes, you get mad at the person who reported you because you obviously operate under the misguided assumption that "everything is legal if you don't get caught."
2013-06-12 05:26:19 PM
7 votes:
It will also become commonplace to beat people to a pulp if they're caught using said app

So I'm guessing subby follows the "snitches get stitches" street motto.

This is no different than CrimeStoppers or 222-TIPS. Those people get a reward for any information leading to arrests of individuals who broke the law.

Don't want to get a fine for illegally parking? Don't illegally park. I got some douchebag's car in my apartment complex towed because he insisted on double-parking his ugly truck over two handicapped spots (no placard of course). First I put a sign on his window saying "Stupidity is not a handicap. Park here again and I'll make sure it's towed." He challenged it so I called the office and watched as a tow truck came and picked it up.
2013-06-12 06:46:50 PM
3 votes:
I don't want a piece of any fine. I just want the asshats I work with to stop taking up two spots with one car.
2013-06-12 05:40:01 PM
3 votes:
around here, I'd make a fortune ratting out people using handicapped parking spaces without proper tags.
2013-06-13 12:00:51 AM
2 votes:

OgreMagi: Johnson: HAMMERTOE: 1) Carry one of those tools for removing the stem valve from the valve stem.

2) Use it on illegally parked cars.

3) Leave stem valve taped to windshield so offender knows their tire hasn't been slashed or otherwise damaged, to avoid committing "vandalism".

4) Profit!

If you carry some BBs, you can unscrew the valve stem cap, drop a BB into it, then screw it back on until you hear a "ssssss"

Just loosen the valve stem to cause a very slow leak.  It's a punishment that could last for months before they figure it out.


That can kill someone.
2013-06-12 07:55:30 PM
2 votes:

GreenAdder: Mitch Taylor's Bro: No, it's a douchebag thing. If you do something wrong and someone "snitches," the right thing to do is accept your punishment like an adult and don't do it again.

But if someone only takes up one parking space, someone might dent the door on his 1998 Accord. Even worse, that person might have to walk an extra five feet to get into the store.


I've never understood people who take two spaces.  If I had a car that I didn't want vandalized, that is the last thing I would do.
2013-06-12 07:41:50 PM
2 votes:
www.theblindcard.com

Don't even THINK of using your lame-ass, fake handicap sticker around here.
2013-06-12 07:19:03 PM
2 votes:
The quickest way to find out if someone is a total arse is to get in a car with them driving. Most arseholes can hide it for a while in normal conversation but when driving and parking, the camouflage disappears. When dating someone new I always come up with a reason early on why they need to drive just so I can see if they're worth continuing with.

/And yet the vast majority thinks they're above average
2013-06-12 07:15:18 PM
2 votes:

scottydoesntknow: Fonaibung: scottydoesntknow: Fonaibung: Oh yeah, and am I the only one that has keyed cars for parking like assholes, or for cutting me off on the freeway?

Sorry to be the one to inform you of this, but keying a car makes you a bigger asshole than anyone else.

Why? It's not like I'm keying someone that doesn't deserve it. It's targeted justice.

Property damage. Keying a car is about as low as you can possibly get.


Beg to differ: an able-bodied person parking in a handicapped spot is as low as you can possibly get.

I don't feel at all bad for keying someone's car if they deserve it. If I were causing wanton property damage, then yes.
2013-06-12 07:12:11 PM
2 votes:

Dimensio: I should have used a crowbar to destroy his windows and slashed his tires.

get that permit back.
2013-06-12 07:04:59 PM
2 votes:

toraque: scottydoesntknow: It will also become commonplace to beat people to a pulp if they're caught using said app

So I'm guessing subby follows the "snitches get stitches" street motto.

This is no different than CrimeStoppers or 222-TIPS. Those people get a reward for any information leading to arrests of individuals who broke the law.

Don't want to get a fine for illegally parking? Don't illegally park. I got some douchebag's car in my apartment complex towed because he insisted on double-parking his ugly truck over two handicapped spots (no placard of course). First I put a sign on his window saying "Stupidity is not a handicap. Park here again and I'll make sure it's towed." He challenged it so I called the office and watched as a tow truck came and picked it up.

Putting a sign on his window exposes you to an awful lot of risk, as you may be spotted doing so, and the kind of person who does this kind of thing may well be the kind of person who responds violently.  This was a bad call.

Instead, you should have just firebombed it from a distance.  Molotov cocktails solve all sorts of problems.


You are correct. When attending college, my parking permit was stolen. The thief actually parked his vehicle in the same lot that I used, and I left a sign on his vehicle that read "THIEF". In hindsight, I should not have left the sign; instead, I should have used a crowbar to destroy his windows and slashed his tires.
2013-06-12 06:55:03 PM
2 votes:

Pocket Ninja: I'm ambivalent on this for parking, but if they invented something similar to turn in the rat bastards who violate HOV lanes, I'd be all over it.


Drunks. I would snitch on drunks in a hot minute. At the insanely early hours I drive to work, I could cover my entire car insurance payment with a year's worth of turning in the wasted-ass weaving-all-over-the-road shiatheels who are out on the road at the same time I am.
2013-06-12 06:52:53 PM
2 votes:
I hate parking scofflaws as much as the next guy, as I make the effort, and do, 97% of the time, park legally. OTOH, I hate the idea of breeding, with positive reinforcement, a farking Stasi society of reality-Tv-fed informers out to stab the first guy they find in the back.

/I should mention that I think humanity is doomed anyway.
//Stasi and reality-Tv in same sentence
///have I said fark me?
2013-06-12 06:50:06 PM
2 votes:
I get to screw over douchebags AND make bank? Win/win, subtard
2013-06-12 06:49:11 PM
2 votes:
It occurs to me that someone with photoshop skills could use this to keep the parking authority busy running around the city like chickens with their heads cut off. Not that I'm suggesting such a thing, of course. My brain is just in its "how could this possibly backfire in spectacular fashion" default mode.
2013-06-12 06:48:16 PM
2 votes:
Parking douchebaggery is a pet peeve of mine.
2013-06-12 06:10:08 PM
2 votes:
Snitches get riches.
2013-06-12 06:00:04 PM
2 votes:
I'm ambivalent on this for parking, but if they invented something similar to turn in the rat bastards who violate HOV lanes, I'd be all over it.

That, and some sort of law allowing me to run down people who leave their shopping carts in the middle of parking lots. Those two things are all I ask.
2013-06-12 05:48:06 PM
2 votes:

ManateeGag: around here, I'd make a fortune ratting out people using handicapped parking spaces without proper tags.


I would be happy to get some of the fine. $500 bucks here.
Beats blocking them in while I unload my wheelchair and making them wait until I'm done shopping.
2013-06-12 05:32:07 PM
2 votes:

scottydoesntknow: So I'm guessing subby follows the "snitches get stitches" street motto.


Everybody follows it, even if they say they don't. It's a hardwired thing.
2013-06-13 02:22:03 AM
1 votes:
if this is limited to handicapped spots and fire hydrants then i don't see much of a problem. those are serious offenses with serious consequences for other people. reducing the number of offenders would make the world a better place.

i'm actually surprised we have not come up with a technological solution to those problems already. Put a mechanical barrier on the handicapped spots that is unlocked by a chip in the tag in the car. also, fire hydrants should have sound/visual alarms when you're too close, and should be able to notify parking enforcement themselves when someone obstructs one.

for some delightful justice, here's a handicapped permit abuse sting at a NASCAR race
2013-06-13 02:02:25 AM
1 votes:

Cerberus: I sort of like this idea. People parking in handicapped spaces and general parking douchebaggery should be dealt with.

But, I have an exception. I wouldn't want to snitch on a driver who forgot to feed the meter or is running afoul of a time restriction on parking. In these cases, let them take their chances with the meter maids. I suppose I'm thinking these people may have made 'mistakes' rather than purposeful douchebaggery and should have the benefit of the doubt until the little Parking Enforcement scooter comes around.

I frequently do business in one village that sets their parking meters for $0.25 per 2 hours. They really don't care about the revenue, but it encourages the freeing up of spaces to allow others to shop. Which was the original intent. If you can't put a quarter in, you probably deserve the ticket.


I think that's the divide in this thread. People who live in real cities versus those who live in places with lots of room, built around cars. If you live in DC or NY, the standard parking offense is going to be a time restriction on curb parking. People who get their panties in a wad because I've been parked in a 2 hr for 3 hours (say, in the middle of a residential area without much need for the restriction) need to get their heads examined, and the people who would actually go out and report that to parking enforcement are close to the worst kind of authoritarian douchebag. There are lots of heavy, some would say excessive, parking regulations, and they're already a massive headache and burden without Joe the Vigilante added to the mix.

But if you live in suburbia, where everything is a sea of parking lots and the only parking offenses you'll ever see are jackasses taking up 2 spots or parking in handicapped zones and where parking laws are only ever scarcely enforced, you might be more inclined to favor the idea.
2013-06-13 01:21:18 AM
1 votes:

TwowheelinTim: lack of warmth: TwowheelinTim: S#!T, and I've been doing it for free all this time when I find a car parked in the bike lane.

The enzymes in saliva will eat through the toughest paint jobs. It almost breaks my heart when it's a really nice car the perpetrator has illegally parked, but not enough to keep me from leaving my mark.

I can only imagine how motor morons would react if I parked my bicycle in the automobile traffic lanes.

Yeah, I know, you'd just run over it wouldn't you mr/mrs tough guy.

Your accelerator pedal leg muscles must be pretty strong huh?

I drive a truck.  It isn't hard to pick up an 'abandoned' bicycle.  It also doesn't take long to cut a bike into scrap.

Cool your jets Francis, everyone gets crapped on.

Yeah, but not everybody is driving a 8000 pound cage.

If you don't like where I ride my bicycle, maybe you should take the bus.


Maybe you should learn the laws of traffic.
2013-06-13 01:09:51 AM
1 votes:
How about calling it in if I see some moron having someone else blow into his inhibitor to get the car started, because he's had too much to drink?  Saw that one the other night.  I don't think that's just a ticket, as the driver was sufficiently buzzed and the key was most definitely in the ignition, with the intent to go driving... DUI #2 in the making.  That's not just a slap on the wrists around here.

Was on the bus when some douche decided to pull into a bus-only spot ... while the bus was loading passengers.  Bus driver honked, was flipped off, and the cop not less than ten feet away started writing a ticket before the douche even stepped out of the car.

Cops on the local campus wait for morons to roll on down the bus-only street, which is clearly marked with a "cars go  that->way" sign and turn-off, which is the main drop off point for kids going to class.  every 15 minutes or so, new moron cruises down the street.

/sans automobile for some years now
//it's downtown, don't really need one
2013-06-13 12:26:15 AM
1 votes:

TwowheelinTim: S#!T, and I've been doing it for free all this time when I find a car parked in the bike lane.

The enzymes in saliva will eat through the toughest paint jobs. It almost breaks my heart when it's a really nice car the perpetrator has illegally parked, but not enough to keep me from leaving my mark.

I can only imagine how motor morons would react if I parked my bicycle in the automobile traffic lanes.

Yeah, I know, you'd just run over it wouldn't you mr/mrs tough guy.

Your accelerator pedal leg muscles must be pretty strong huh?


I drive a truck.  It isn't hard to pick up an 'abandoned' bicycle.  It also doesn't take long to cut a bike into scrap.

Cool your jets Francis, everyone gets crapped on.
2013-06-13 12:18:30 AM
1 votes:

OgreMagi: doglover: OgreMagi: Johnson: HAMMERTOE: 1) Carry one of those tools for removing the stem valve from the valve stem.

2) Use it on illegally parked cars.

3) Leave stem valve taped to windshield so offender knows their tire hasn't been slashed or otherwise damaged, to avoid committing "vandalism".

4) Profit!

If you carry some BBs, you can unscrew the valve stem cap, drop a BB into it, then screw it back on until you hear a "ssssss"

Just loosen the valve stem to cause a very slow leak.  It's a punishment that could last for months before they figure it out.

That can kill someone.

A slow leak can kill?  Only if the driver is too stupid to notice his tire is getting low and tries to race on a mountain.


Absurd as it is, I don't trust the legal system.

Peanuts have been the cause of 0.0000% of the deaths in any year you care to pick. But peanuts are banned all over because some people have allergies.

Would you wanna risk Johnny Law's boot up your ass for attempted murder just to slowly deflate a tire? Deflate it all in one go or better yet leave the tires alone. Justice is blind and the law is stupid. Give them no chance to eff you.
2013-06-12 11:04:56 PM
1 votes:
In the 80s I drove a beat up Honda Civic.  The body was so banged up that only the rust held it together.  But that engine just ran and ran (Honda makes great engines).  It was given to me because I couldn't afford a car at the time.  One day near christmas I'm trying to park at the mall.  The place is full and some douche with a porsche chose to take two spaces.  But he left just barely enough room for me to squeeze that piece of shiat car in and block the driver's side.  When I came out of the mall the porsche owner was just standing there.  I laughed, got in my beater, and drove off.  I hope he came out from shopping right when I went in.

I wouldn't do that with my brand new Miata.  There's something to be said for driving a car that you don't care if it gets damaged.
2013-06-12 10:59:45 PM
1 votes:

HAMMERTOE: 1) Carry one of those tools for removing the stem valve from the valve stem.

2) Use it on illegally parked cars.

3) Leave stem valve taped to windshield so offender knows their tire hasn't been slashed or otherwise damaged, to avoid committing "vandalism".

4) Profit!


If you carry some BBs, you can unscrew the valve stem cap, drop a BB into it, then screw it back on until you hear a "ssssss"
2013-06-12 10:56:41 PM
1 votes:
I was waiting at a bus stop when some biatch parked her Beamer in the "no parking, bus stop" space and strutted across the street to a bistro.   I let the air out of two tires so the tow truck called by the bus driver wouldn't waste a trip.

Watched a guy park his Porsche in a no-parking zone right in front of me.  As he exited his car, he heard me saying into my phone, "Hello, Parking Control? I got a live one for  ya."  He cursed me, ranting that it was no big deal and he always parked there. He went into his building, but came back ten minutes later.  Cursed me again as he moved the car.   I didn't have Parking Control's number, of course.

Then there was the Caddy owner who thought it was cool to park at the corner, totally blocking the crosswalk and sidewalk.  I called to him as he returned with his ice cream cone, "Better have that engine checked, asshole!"  He walked all the way around his car looking high and low for damage; best of all, his ice cream fell out of the cone as he bent over. Hope the checkup cost him something substantial.
2013-06-12 10:44:08 PM
1 votes:
1) Carry one of those tools for removing the stem valve from the valve stem.

2) Use it on illegally parked cars.

3) Leave stem valve taped to windshield so offender knows their tire hasn't been slashed or otherwise damaged, to avoid committing "vandalism".

4) Profit!
2013-06-12 09:12:02 PM
1 votes:

kc278: Fonaibung: scottydoesntknow: Fonaibung: scottydoesntknow: Fonaibung: Oh yeah, and am I the only one that has keyed cars for parking like assholes, or for cutting me off on the freeway?

Sorry to be the one to inform you of this, but keying a car makes you a bigger asshole than anyone else.

Why? It's not like I'm keying someone that doesn't deserve it. It's targeted justice.

Property damage. Keying a car is about as low as you can possibly get.

Beg to differ: an able-bodied person parking in a handicapped spot is as low as you can possibly get.

I don't feel at all bad for keying someone's car if they deserve it. If I were causing wanton property damage, then yes.

I'm with you. No "banal evils" infuriate me more than those committed by self-entitled assholes.

If you consciously choose to do something so blatantly and publicly callous as thumbing your nose at farking disabled people for the sole purpose of defying anyone to call you on it, you deserve just exactly what you get -- up to and including a therapeutic ass beating should you choose to press the issue.


Not meaning to defend people who park in handicap spaces, but I wish the laws about space allocation were more reasonable.  Currently, a certain percentage of spaces must be handicapped.  So at places like my work, we have a dozen spaces taken up when half that would be more than enough.  I don't think I've ever seen more than one space used at any one time.  I think my local BART station has about 30 spaces set aside.  I don't think there's that many people with handicapped plates in the entire city.
2013-06-12 08:39:58 PM
1 votes:
In San Francisco, you are pretty much given a free park anywhere pass if you have a handicap plate.  You can even park in a red zone.  A few years ago it was discovered that the wife of the parking commissioner had a handicap placard despite being perfectly healthy.  Guess which office supplies those parking placards in San Francisco.
2013-06-12 08:31:30 PM
1 votes:
parked next to one of these assholes at lunch today. fortunately I was on the motorcycle and could fit in the space this old coont left me.

If you can't be bothered to park between the lines, then you've indicated you have no intention of abiding by the social contract and consequently deserve whatever retribution is hurled in your direction... tickets, towing, scratched paint, shattered glass, etc.
2013-06-12 08:26:13 PM
1 votes:

Fonaibung: Uncle_Sam's_Titties: Fonaibung: scottydoesntknow: Fonaibung: I don't feel at all bad for keying someone's car if they deserve it. If I were causing wanton property damage, then yes.

So you lower yourself to their level? Call a tow truck and have them yank it away. Maybe you'll get a cherry on top if they happen to damage it when it's being hooked up. Then they're on the hook for towing costs and damage.

I don't think it's "lowering myself" to their level at all. In my experience, that's mostly a rhetorical instrument. I don't even agree with the premise.

The world would be better with a little more street justice.

So long as, you know, there's no direct confrontation between you and the perpetrator. *cough*

Oh, definitely not. I'm chickenshiat all the way. I just refuse to feel badly about it in this instance -- a guy gets what he deserves at no cost to myself. It seems to me the only people who might have a problem with it are those who drive and/or park rudely.


Well, this is actually a disproportionate response. You are willing to damage someone's vehicle because of your perception of their infraction. Read, if you will:

We'll deal with the physical items first: Your keying of their car causes a disproportional amount of damage to their vehicle/pocketbook versus what the ticket would cause. This is vigilantism. If you want the fines increased, petition your local council or whatever. Don't be a dick.

The emotional/mental items: You, in the act of surreptitiously mangling the perpetrator's vehicle, get an adrenaline rush that you most certainly enjoy. This is not only pathetic, it's addictive. Don't be a dick. And think about it: you will get a way bigger adrenaline rush if you actually confront the perpetrator face to face. If you get your ass kicked a few times, so be it. It's what you deserve, you sneaky POS. Eventually you'll be able to hold your own, and at that point you'll see the merit in withholding indirect feedback(damage of property) in favor of direct feedback(talk/conflict).

for the record: i park like a boss every single time. even during winter parking rules i park at the back of the lot and walk. my car isn't even nice. i despise people that drive around parking lots looking for a close spot.
2013-06-12 08:22:38 PM
1 votes:

Great Janitor: FrancoFile: Great Janitor: I am glad that I live in an area that doesn't have a huge parking issue.  I don't even know if there are parking meters in my city.  What I do dislike is, the apartment I live in, in the morning there is an asshat who parks in the parking lot, not in a space, but in the drive section, often blocking other cars.  Sometimes this person sits in his car and just honks his horn,or parks behind parked cars, leaves his door open and car running.  Fark anyone he's blocking.  I told him block me one more time and I'll put your car in drive and let you explain to your insurance company what happened.

He's picking up a carpooler.  I had one of those in my neighborhood once - townhouse cul-de-sac.  He'd lay on the horn at 6 am 10 times, when the guy he's honking at couldn't be any farther than 35 feet away.  I stopped being annoyed when I got new triple-pane windows installed.

It's not the honking, it's going to work and being blocked in by his empty car, door open, engine running with him no where in sight that bothers me.  I know felons who would like an easy to steal car.


Take the key and throw it in the bushes.
2013-06-12 08:06:31 PM
1 votes:

Mitch Taylor's Bro: I have considered buying a GoPro and mounting it somewhere on my car so I could document some of the BS I see on my relatively short commute. Maybe one on the back, too, for tailgaters. I could produce some kind of "Tosh.0" but focused solely on bad drivers.


Just for you...as low as 20 bucks: dash cameras.
2013-06-12 08:05:05 PM
1 votes:

Gulper Eel: Pocket Ninja: I'm ambivalent on this for parking, but if they invented something similar to turn in the rat bastards who violate HOV lanes, I'd be all over it.

Drunks. I would snitch on drunks in a hot minute. At the insanely early hours I drive to work, I could cover my entire car insurance payment with a year's worth of turning in the wasted-ass weaving-all-over-the-road shiatheels who are out on the road at the same time I am.


I have the California Highway Patrol on speedial #7.
In the past four years (when I started doing this) I have:

1. called in a 16 wheeler with a rear wheel FALLING OFF
2. several drunks (or sleepy drivers). Probably saved a few from accidents as I would also honk at them and flash lights at them if I think they are falling asleep. I know I'd want the same done for me.
3. a kid hit and run by a car
4. a really nasty accident where a sedan *almost* cut in front of a big-rig and caught the right fender of the big rig right where the driver is. called it in, didn't bother to look in the cab as I knew what I'd find there
5. myself after i got hit and run on an on-ramp.
2013-06-12 07:59:19 PM
1 votes:
I'd like to see a law for people who double park in handicap spots without a handicap license. The law would allow a tow truck driver to push the car over with a snowplow
2013-06-12 07:52:39 PM
1 votes:

Great Janitor: I am glad that I live in an area that doesn't have a huge parking issue.  I don't even know if there are parking meters in my city.  What I do dislike is, the apartment I live in, in the morning there is an asshat who parks in the parking lot, not in a space, but in the drive section, often blocking other cars.  Sometimes this person sits in his car and just honks his horn,or parks behind parked cars, leaves his door open and car running.  Fark anyone he's blocking.  I told him block me one more time and I'll put your car in drive and let you explain to your insurance company what happened.


He's picking up a carpooler.  I had one of those in my neighborhood once - townhouse cul-de-sac.  He'd lay on the horn at 6 am 10 times, when the guy he's honking at couldn't be any farther than 35 feet away.  I stopped being annoyed when I got new triple-pane windows installed.
2013-06-12 07:48:50 PM
1 votes:
I am glad that I live in an area that doesn't have a huge parking issue.  I don't even know if there are parking meters in my city.  What I do dislike is, the apartment I live in, in the morning there is an asshat who parks in the parking lot, not in a space, but in the drive section, often blocking other cars.  Sometimes this person sits in his car and just honks his horn,or parks behind parked cars, leaves his door open and car running.  Fark anyone he's blocking.  I told him block me one more time and I'll put your car in drive and let you explain to your insurance company what happened.
2013-06-12 07:46:38 PM
1 votes:

Fonaibung: Oh yeah, and am I the only one that has keyed cars for parking like assholes, or for cutting me off on the freeway?


Yeah, you sure showed that guy's insurance company.
2013-06-12 07:40:11 PM
1 votes:

doglover: scottydoesntknow: So I'm guessing subby follows the "snitches get stitches" street motto.

Everybody follows it, even if they say they don't. It's a hardwired thing.


Uh, no. No, they don't. But I could see how some might think so. Assholes, for example.
2013-06-12 07:30:41 PM
1 votes:

thisisarepeat: But people that call cops with any message other than "HELP!", truly deserve physical violence, and/or vicious vandalism.


So, I had a guy parking and blocking my garage. So I called the local parking authority. "Oh, no, actually, your address is outside of our jurisdiction, you have to call the police." So I hit the interwebs, find the phone number for the local precinct, and call them directly. "Oh, you have to call 911 for that."

Yes, really. I apologized to the 911 operator, and said, "The police told me to call you." They didn't mind, but got me off the phone quick.
2013-06-12 07:30:16 PM
1 votes:
But he said the "spotsquad" concept of people personally profiting from telling on parking violators won't fly.

So it's ok for the cops to profit, ok for the town to profit, and ok for a private company to profit. But it's the mark of the devil himself if any private citizen ever profits. <arnold voice> Fark You Asshole. </arnold voice>
2013-06-12 07:30:03 PM
1 votes:
Speaking of HOV lanes, ever since I got this-
images.thecarconnection.com
 And in even better news, there is bill to extend this to 2018.
2013-06-12 07:29:54 PM
1 votes:

Day_Old_Dutchie: The downtown business association in my town has repeatedly campaigned against any kind of paid parking or time limit in the downtown, They know it will drive business to Walmart or Target.

And those wealthy pricks in town council keeps trying and trying to bring it in, just because they love inflicting punishment (they of course can get their parking tickets "fixed",)


Those businesses are already dead, they just don't know it yet. They died the day the city allowed big box stores into town. Time limits actual can be good for downtown businesses since it keeps people from parking there all day using up spots that could be used for customers who only need to be in the shop for half an hour or so.

scottydoesntknow: Put some pre-programmed lines in there like "Get off my ass dickhead"


I thought about wiring up a switch under the dash that would turn on my brake lights when I wasn't really braking to scare off tailgaters. I don't like to actually brake since they might not be paying attention and slam into me. With the light switch, they'd instinctively back off (even if slowly) without risking a collision. But I'm sure it's illegal as hell and would make me liable for the tailgater swerving or freaking out some other dangerous way when they see brake lights and think they can't slow down in time. It's especially annoying when I'm in the right most lane, going ten over the speed limit and there are five empty lanes to the left but the tailgater wants to bully me out of the lane.
2013-06-12 07:25:55 PM
1 votes:

FatherChaos: The followup to this story will be in a month or so with "45 people shot to death this month for snitching on illegal parkers, program revoked in the interest of public safety."


Hate to break it to you, but government types typically frown on people who even so much as spit in the direction of informants.  They use terms like "aggravating factors" and other things that tend to make stretches in the pen longer.
2013-06-12 07:23:57 PM
1 votes:

Skywolf the Scribbler: First-world people problem, car people problem, or city people probles?


not a problem at all
except for tards who park illegally ...
so once again, not a problem at all
2013-06-12 07:23:22 PM
1 votes:

SilentStrider: I don't want a piece of any fine. I just want the asshats I work with to stop taking up two spots with one car.


This.

I wouldn't do it myself, but if someone else took it upon himself or herself to firebomb cars parked in this manner, I wouldn't be too upset about it.
2013-06-12 07:22:02 PM
1 votes:

Smelly Pirate Hooker: Pocket Ninja: I'm ambivalent on this for parking, but if they invented something similar to turn in the rat bastards who violate HOV lanes, I'd be all over it.

That, and some sort of law allowing me to run down people who leave their shopping carts in the middle of parking lots. Those two things are all I ask.

Me too.


How about make it legal to run over those entire families who walk slowly down the middle of the driveway of a parking lot while a line of cars is stuck behind them.
2013-06-12 07:17:51 PM
1 votes:

doglover: scottydoesntknow: So I'm guessing subby follows the "snitches get stitches" street motto.

Everybody follows it, even if they say they don't. It's a hardwired thing.


no asshole, we dont
bullies do ... guess we know who you are ...
2013-06-12 07:13:26 PM
1 votes:

unlikely: Dimensio: I should have used a crowbar to destroy his windows and slashed his tires. get that permit back.


The permit had already been invalidated. Destroying the thief's car would have served only vengeance. While the incident occurred nearly ten years ago, I still regret not taking the action.
2013-06-12 07:11:01 PM
1 votes:

Fonaibung: scottydoesntknow: Fonaibung: Oh yeah, and am I the only one that has keyed cars for parking like assholes, or for cutting me off on the freeway?

Sorry to be the one to inform you of this, but keying a car makes you a bigger asshole than anyone else.

Why? It's not like I'm keying someone that doesn't deserve it. It's targeted justice.


Property damage. Keying a car is about as low as you can possibly get.
2013-06-12 07:10:26 PM
1 votes:
Parking at my university is a huge pain in the ass.

Gotta love coming in to work (I work the night shift), and finding that a good third of the parking spaces in the Faculty/Staff lots are taken up by students or visitors by 5:30pm.  The lots don't open up for general use until 6pm.  I would happily use this if people would start parking elsewhere, so I don't need to come in so early to hunt for a parking space.
2013-06-12 07:08:48 PM
1 votes:

Fonaibung: Oh yeah, and am I the only one that has keyed cars for parking like assholes,



My lawyer has advised me not to comment on the matter.
2013-06-12 07:08:23 PM
1 votes:

scottydoesntknow: Fonaibung: Oh yeah, and am I the only one that has keyed cars for parking like assholes, or for cutting me off on the freeway?

Sorry to be the one to inform you of this, but keying a car makes you a bigger asshole than anyone else.


Why? It's not like I'm keying someone that doesn't deserve it. It's targeted justice.
2013-06-12 07:06:39 PM
1 votes:
Something tells me none of our neighbors in CA have honking huge P.B.A. placard badges taking up a good portion of the driver's side window as seen in NJ USA. Held in place by three suction cups due to immense size, these special tagged vehicles are typically piloted by the rudest rule bending drivers who park wherever the hell they want. Being a dooshbag: It's part of the privilege of having a friend in law enforcement.

/ if i had something on my windshield 1/2 the size of a PBA crest i'd be ticketed for obstruction of view.
2013-06-12 07:05:36 PM
1 votes:

Fonaibung: Oh yeah, and am I the only one that has keyed cars for parking like assholes, or for cutting me off on the freeway?


Sorry to be the one to inform you of this, but keying a car makes you a bigger asshole than anyone else.
2013-06-12 07:03:50 PM
1 votes:

Pocket Ninja: I'm ambivalent on this for parking, but if they invented something similar to turn in the rat bastards who violate HOV lanes, I'd be all over it.

That, and some sort of law allowing me to run down people who leave their shopping carts in the middle of parking lots. Those two things are all I ask.


Agreed, plus people that use handicap spots who don't have the wheelie sticker.  Could we also start ticketing the douchbags that take up four parking spots at once in a parking lot?
2013-06-12 06:50:35 PM
1 votes:
The followup to this story will be in a month or so with "45 people shot to death this month for snitching on illegal parkers, program revoked in the interest of public safety."
2013-06-12 06:50:30 PM
1 votes:
I can't wait till the first beatdown happens because somebody catches a pig parked illegally
2013-06-12 06:48:26 PM
1 votes:

scottydoesntknow: It will also become commonplace to beat people to a pulp if they're caught using said app

So I'm guessing subby follows the "snitches get stitches" street motto.

This is no different than CrimeStoppers or 222-TIPS. Those people get a reward for any information leading to arrests of individuals who broke the law.

Don't want to get a fine for illegally parking? Don't illegally park. I got some douchebag's car in my apartment complex towed because he insisted on double-parking his ugly truck over two handicapped spots (no placard of course). First I put a sign on his window saying "Stupidity is not a handicap. Park here again and I'll make sure it's towed." He challenged it so I called the office and watched as a tow truck came and picked it up.


Putting a sign on his window exposes you to an awful lot of risk, as you may be spotted doing so, and the kind of person who does this kind of thing may well be the kind of person who responds violently.  This was a bad call.

Instead, you should have just firebombed it from a distance.  Molotov cocktails solve all sorts of problems.
2013-06-12 06:45:44 PM
1 votes:
I bet you could scout out some sweet spots that aren't marked well and make bank by just keeping an eye on them
2013-06-12 06:20:27 PM
1 votes:

jehovahs witness protection: ManateeGag: around here, I'd make a fortune ratting out people using handicapped parking spaces without proper tags.

I would be happy to get some of the fine. $500 bucks here.
Beats blocking them in while I unload my wheelchair and making them wait until I'm done shopping.


You made me remember something from like 30-ish years ago - I worked in a retail store, and there was this one twit who loved to park his car sideways across two handicap spots while he went shopping. Young, healthy guy who made a point of showing off his muscles. Totally ignored the signs warning of a large fine (I think it was like $250 + community service or something).

One day a guy pulled in behind him with a special van for a person in a wheelchair, obviously someone with complex issues - took them like 15 minutes to get the chair out, help the person into it, do various.. stuff... but in any case, aforementioned d-bag started panicking after about 5 minutes because a parking scooter was visible in the distance, slooooooowly working it's way closer. He was pleading with the people in the van to pleeeaase allow him to move, but with a lot of bemused people around including some that obviously knew him, he was doing it politery and totally ineffectively.

Anyhow, eventually the parking lady arrived, and spent no less than 10 minutes lecturing the d-bag, while a cop arrived who obviously determined that there was some other issue (I'm guessing outstanding parking tickets), meaning d-bag's car was getting towed. Sadly this was before cellphone cams (probably too early for even the big camcorders) or the sight of Mr. Roid Rage in tears as his sweet ride was dragged over the huge speed bumps would have been epic youtube stuff.
2013-06-12 06:18:07 PM
1 votes:

I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros: Snitches get riches.


Hmmm, I wonder if I could write off a D800 with a 500mm lens as a business expense? "Hello, Adorama? You're going to love me for this. Got a pen handy?"
2013-06-12 06:16:28 PM
1 votes:

GreenAdder: Mitch Taylor's Bro: No, it's a douchebag thing. If you do something wrong and someone "snitches," the right thing to do is accept your punishment like an adult and don't do it again.

But if someone only takes up one parking space, someone might dent the door on his 1998 Accord. Even worse, that person might have to walk an extra five feet to get into the store.


Judging from this website, this might actually be a worse problem than I first suspected.

http://iparklikeanass.com/
2013-06-12 06:02:07 PM
1 votes:
Who needs an app? Greasing the door handle is pretty satisfying on it's own.
2013-06-12 05:55:00 PM
1 votes:
We are building a finking force of extraordinary magnitude
 
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