If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Edmonton Journal)   New app would allow you to snitch on illegal parkers, and get rewarded with a cut of the fine. It will also become commonplace to beat people to a pulp if they're caught using said app   (edmontonjournal.com) divider line 199
    More: Stupid, handicapped parking, website designers  
•       •       •

6042 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Jun 2013 at 6:42 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



199 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-06-12 07:08:48 PM

Fonaibung: Oh yeah, and am I the only one that has keyed cars for parking like assholes,



My lawyer has advised me not to comment on the matter.
 
2013-06-12 07:10:26 PM
Parking at my university is a huge pain in the ass.

Gotta love coming in to work (I work the night shift), and finding that a good third of the parking spaces in the Faculty/Staff lots are taken up by students or visitors by 5:30pm.  The lots don't open up for general use until 6pm.  I would happily use this if people would start parking elsewhere, so I don't need to come in so early to hunt for a parking space.
 
2013-06-12 07:11:01 PM

Fonaibung: scottydoesntknow: Fonaibung: Oh yeah, and am I the only one that has keyed cars for parking like assholes, or for cutting me off on the freeway?

Sorry to be the one to inform you of this, but keying a car makes you a bigger asshole than anyone else.

Why? It's not like I'm keying someone that doesn't deserve it. It's targeted justice.


Property damage. Keying a car is about as low as you can possibly get.
 
2013-06-12 07:12:11 PM

Dimensio: I should have used a crowbar to destroy his windows and slashed his tires.

get that permit back.
 
2013-06-12 07:12:13 PM
people that double park suck, I do not like them.  But people that call cops with any message other than "HELP!", truly deserve physical violence, and/or vicious vandalism.
 
2013-06-12 07:12:22 PM

Gulper Eel: Pocket Ninja: I'm ambivalent on this for parking, but if they invented something similar to turn in the rat bastards who violate HOV lanes, I'd be all over it.

Drunks. I would snitch on drunks in a hot minute. At the insanely early hours I drive to work, I could cover my entire car insurance payment with a year's worth of turning in the wasted-ass weaving-all-over-the-road shiatheels who are out on the road at the same time I am.


I have considered buying a GoPro and mounting it somewhere on my car so I could document some of the BS I see on my relatively short commute. Maybe one on the back, too, for tailgaters. I could produce some kind of "Tosh.0" but focused solely on bad drivers.
 
2013-06-12 07:13:17 PM
 
2013-06-12 07:13:26 PM

unlikely: Dimensio: I should have used a crowbar to destroy his windows and slashed his tires. get that permit back.


The permit had already been invalidated. Destroying the thief's car would have served only vengeance. While the incident occurred nearly ten years ago, I still regret not taking the action.
 
2013-06-12 07:13:29 PM

badLogic: Pocket Ninja: I'm ambivalent on this for parking, but if they invented something similar to turn in the rat bastards who violate HOV lanes, I'd be all over it.

That, and some sort of law allowing me to run down people who leave their shopping carts in the middle of parking lots. Those two things are all I ask.

Agreed, plus people that use handicap spots who don't have the wheelie sticker.  Could we also start ticketing the douchbags that take up four parking spots at once in a parking lot?


I pulled into a convenience store and some guy pulled his VW Van (old school) into the handicapped parking at the same time.  I made it a point to check for a handicapped placard or plates, then commented that the space was reserved.  He started yelling "how do you know I'm not handicapped!"  I told him, "if you were, you'd have the proper plates, but I'm willing to accept that you suffer from severe brain damage."  He tried to act threatening, but I just stood there laughing at him.
 
2013-06-12 07:14:18 PM

SilentStrider: I don't want a piece of any fine. I just want the asshats I work with to stop taking up two spots with one car.


We only park that way so people like you dont ding the doors of our sweet sweet rides.

/ 96 Astro
 
2013-06-12 07:15:18 PM

scottydoesntknow: Fonaibung: scottydoesntknow: Fonaibung: Oh yeah, and am I the only one that has keyed cars for parking like assholes, or for cutting me off on the freeway?

Sorry to be the one to inform you of this, but keying a car makes you a bigger asshole than anyone else.

Why? It's not like I'm keying someone that doesn't deserve it. It's targeted justice.

Property damage. Keying a car is about as low as you can possibly get.


Beg to differ: an able-bodied person parking in a handicapped spot is as low as you can possibly get.

I don't feel at all bad for keying someone's car if they deserve it. If I were causing wanton property damage, then yes.
 
2013-06-12 07:15:34 PM

Mitch Taylor's Bro: Gulper Eel: Pocket Ninja: I'm ambivalent on this for parking, but if they invented something similar to turn in the rat bastards who violate HOV lanes, I'd be all over it.

Drunks. I would snitch on drunks in a hot minute. At the insanely early hours I drive to work, I could cover my entire car insurance payment with a year's worth of turning in the wasted-ass weaving-all-over-the-road shiatheels who are out on the road at the same time I am.

I have considered buying a GoPro and mounting it somewhere on my car so I could document some of the BS I see on my relatively short commute. Maybe one on the back, too, for tailgaters. I could produce some kind of "Tosh.0" but focused solely on bad drivers.


I've wanted to get one of those small scrolling marquees you see at Office Depot for my back window. Put some pre-programmed lines in there like "Get off my ass dickhead" or "Left lane for passing only moron!" (and of course "thank you" when they're nice). That way I could voice my full opinion, more than just a finger can convey.
 
2013-06-12 07:16:09 PM
See, the chalk-made special parking spot is the way to go. That way if d-bag owner comes out and wants to fight, you'll get what you want.

People that take pictures to snitch are no better than the assholes that park shiatty. Equally passive-agressive, equally pussies.
 
2013-06-12 07:16:32 PM
First-world people problem, car people problem, or city people probles?
 
2013-06-12 07:17:21 PM
The downtown business association in my town has repeatedly campaigned against any kind of paid parking or time limit in the downtown, They know it will drive business to Walmart or Target.

And those wealthy pricks in town council keeps trying and trying to bring it in, just because they love inflicting punishment (they of course can get their parking tickets "fixed",)
 
2013-06-12 07:17:51 PM

doglover: scottydoesntknow: So I'm guessing subby follows the "snitches get stitches" street motto.

Everybody follows it, even if they say they don't. It's a hardwired thing.


no asshole, we dont
bullies do ... guess we know who you are ...
 
2013-06-12 07:17:53 PM

KrispyKritter: if i had something on my windshield 1/2 the size of a PBA crest i'd be ticketed for obstruction of view.


Under a strict interpretation of New York State's motor vehicle laws, you're technically not even allowed to have a rear view mirror that's affixed only to the windshield.

I'm fine with increased enforcement of the existing safety laws, especially if I can get a cut of the revenue by participating.

But first, let's do something about the people who double park along the avenue, forcing motorists to slalom back and forth across the double yellow line just to get from point A to point B.
 
2013-06-12 07:18:22 PM

Fonaibung: scottydoesntknow: Fonaibung: scottydoesntknow: Fonaibung: Oh yeah, and am I the only one that has keyed cars for parking like assholes, or for cutting me off on the freeway?

Sorry to be the one to inform you of this, but keying a car makes you a bigger asshole than anyone else.

Why? It's not like I'm keying someone that doesn't deserve it. It's targeted justice.

Property damage. Keying a car is about as low as you can possibly get.

Beg to differ: an able-bodied person parking in a handicapped spot is as low as you can possibly get.

I don't feel at all bad for keying someone's car if they deserve it. If I were causing wanton property damage, then yes.


So you lower yourself to their level? Call a tow truck and have them yank it away. Maybe you'll get a cherry on top if they happen to damage it when it's being hooked up. Then they're on the hook for towing costs and damage.
 
2013-06-12 07:18:50 PM

OgreMagi: But I despise self-entitled assholes who think they are special.


Basically, this!

Sometimes you can tell that there's a kind of innocent domino effect going on: one car parks a little too close to the line, and every other car has to adjust until everything is kind of askew. Other times, someone is truly concerned about their vehicle, parks as far away from others as possible and walks farther to hopefully protect his/her vehicle from parking lot dings and scratches. Then there are those farksticks like you encountered.
 
2013-06-12 07:19:03 PM
The quickest way to find out if someone is a total arse is to get in a car with them driving. Most arseholes can hide it for a while in normal conversation but when driving and parking, the camouflage disappears. When dating someone new I always come up with a reason early on why they need to drive just so I can see if they're worth continuing with.

/And yet the vast majority thinks they're above average
 
2013-06-12 07:19:43 PM

Pocket Ninja: I'm ambivalent on this for parking, but if they invented something similar to turn in the rat bastards who violate HOV lanes, I'd be all over it.

That, and some sort of law allowing me to run down people who leave their shopping carts in the middle of parking lots. Those two things are all I ask.


Me too.
 
2013-06-12 07:21:25 PM

Mitch Taylor's Bro: Gulper Eel: Pocket Ninja: I'm ambivalent on this for parking, but if they invented something similar to turn in the rat bastards who violate HOV lanes, I'd be all over it.

Drunks. I would snitch on drunks in a hot minute. At the insanely early hours I drive to work, I could cover my entire car insurance payment with a year's worth of turning in the wasted-ass weaving-all-over-the-road shiatheels who are out on the road at the same time I am.

I have considered buying a GoPro and mounting it somewhere on my car so I could document some of the BS I see on my relatively short commute. Maybe one on the back, too, for tailgaters. I could produce some kind of "Tosh.0" but focused solely on bad drivers.


Tosh seems like the snitch type too. go for it, it may work.
 
2013-06-12 07:21:53 PM
<i>Some entrepreneurial Winnipeggers are set to unleash an army of bounty hunters keen on nabbing <b>people who park in disabled parking spots without a permit or in front of a fire hydrant</b>. </i>

Yea... what sort of monster would report such fine, upstanding citizens....

Toss in idiots who double-park and I'd support an app that lets you call in an airstrike on the farkers.
 
2013-06-12 07:22:02 PM

Smelly Pirate Hooker: Pocket Ninja: I'm ambivalent on this for parking, but if they invented something similar to turn in the rat bastards who violate HOV lanes, I'd be all over it.

That, and some sort of law allowing me to run down people who leave their shopping carts in the middle of parking lots. Those two things are all I ask.

Me too.


How about make it legal to run over those entire families who walk slowly down the middle of the driveway of a parking lot while a line of cars is stuck behind them.
 
2013-06-12 07:23:22 PM

SilentStrider: I don't want a piece of any fine. I just want the asshats I work with to stop taking up two spots with one car.


This.

I wouldn't do it myself, but if someone else took it upon himself or herself to firebomb cars parked in this manner, I wouldn't be too upset about it.
 
2013-06-12 07:23:57 PM

Skywolf the Scribbler: First-world people problem, car people problem, or city people probles?


not a problem at all
except for tards who park illegally ...
so once again, not a problem at all
 
2013-06-12 07:24:24 PM
I spit on their door/windshield.
 
2013-06-12 07:25:21 PM

Uncle_Sam's_Titties: See, the chalk-made special parking spot is the way to go. That way if d-bag owner comes out and wants to fight, you'll get what you want.

People that take pictures to snitch are no better than the assholes that park shiatty. Equally passive-agressive, equally pussies.


agreed.
 
2013-06-12 07:25:55 PM

FatherChaos: The followup to this story will be in a month or so with "45 people shot to death this month for snitching on illegal parkers, program revoked in the interest of public safety."


Hate to break it to you, but government types typically frown on people who even so much as spit in the direction of informants.  They use terms like "aggravating factors" and other things that tend to make stretches in the pen longer.
 
2013-06-12 07:26:06 PM
But it's for safety!  A cut of the loot is merely a token for your time and concern.
 
2013-06-12 07:27:02 PM

scottydoesntknow: Fonaibung: I don't feel at all bad for keying someone's car if they deserve it. If I were causing wanton property damage, then yes.

So you lower yourself to their level? Call a tow truck and have them yank it away. Maybe you'll get a cherry on top if they happen to damage it when it's being hooked up. Then they're on the hook for towing costs and damage.


I don't think it's "lowering myself" to their level at all. In my experience, that's mostly a rhetorical instrument. I don't even agree with the premise.

The world would be better with a little more street justice.
 
2013-06-12 07:28:19 PM
Snitch on someone that is illegally parked?  Good.  Get paid to do it?  Farkin' Awesome.
 
2013-06-12 07:28:35 PM

Mitch Taylor's Bro: So don't get caught.


Or, you know, go to a parking garage.
 
2013-06-12 07:28:45 PM
Every Walmart needs 40 Handicapped spaces.  Because.
 
2013-06-12 07:29:54 PM

Day_Old_Dutchie: The downtown business association in my town has repeatedly campaigned against any kind of paid parking or time limit in the downtown, They know it will drive business to Walmart or Target.

And those wealthy pricks in town council keeps trying and trying to bring it in, just because they love inflicting punishment (they of course can get their parking tickets "fixed",)


Those businesses are already dead, they just don't know it yet. They died the day the city allowed big box stores into town. Time limits actual can be good for downtown businesses since it keeps people from parking there all day using up spots that could be used for customers who only need to be in the shop for half an hour or so.

scottydoesntknow: Put some pre-programmed lines in there like "Get off my ass dickhead"


I thought about wiring up a switch under the dash that would turn on my brake lights when I wasn't really braking to scare off tailgaters. I don't like to actually brake since they might not be paying attention and slam into me. With the light switch, they'd instinctively back off (even if slowly) without risking a collision. But I'm sure it's illegal as hell and would make me liable for the tailgater swerving or freaking out some other dangerous way when they see brake lights and think they can't slow down in time. It's especially annoying when I'm in the right most lane, going ten over the speed limit and there are five empty lanes to the left but the tailgater wants to bully me out of the lane.
 
2013-06-12 07:30:03 PM
Speaking of HOV lanes, ever since I got this-
images.thecarconnection.com
 And in even better news, there is bill to extend this to 2018.
 
2013-06-12 07:30:16 PM
But he said the "spotsquad" concept of people personally profiting from telling on parking violators won't fly.

So it's ok for the cops to profit, ok for the town to profit, and ok for a private company to profit. But it's the mark of the devil himself if any private citizen ever profits. <arnold voice> Fark You Asshole. </arnold voice>
 
2013-06-12 07:30:25 PM

Fonaibung: scottydoesntknow: Fonaibung: I don't feel at all bad for keying someone's car if they deserve it. If I were causing wanton property damage, then yes.

So you lower yourself to their level? Call a tow truck and have them yank it away. Maybe you'll get a cherry on top if they happen to damage it when it's being hooked up. Then they're on the hook for towing costs and damage.

I don't think it's "lowering myself" to their level at all. In my experience, that's mostly a rhetorical instrument. I don't even agree with the premise.

The world would be better with a little more street justice.


So long as, you know, there's no direct confrontation between you and the perpetrator. *cough*
 
2013-06-12 07:30:32 PM

scottydoesntknow: Fonaibung: scottydoesntknow: Fonaibung: Oh yeah, and am I the only one that has keyed cars for parking like assholes, or for cutting me off on the freeway?

Sorry to be the one to inform you of this, but keying a car makes you a bigger asshole than anyone else.

Why? It's not like I'm keying someone that doesn't deserve it. It's targeted justice.

Property damage. Keying a car is about as low as you can possibly get.


More specifically, it's a disproportionate response. The accepted penalty for Illegal parking is a parking ticket, not new paint job on part of your car. The reason more people park like shiat isn't because the penalty isn't bad enough. It's because it's rarely enforced, so they stand a good chance of not being penalized at all.
 
2013-06-12 07:30:41 PM

thisisarepeat: But people that call cops with any message other than "HELP!", truly deserve physical violence, and/or vicious vandalism.


So, I had a guy parking and blocking my garage. So I called the local parking authority. "Oh, no, actually, your address is outside of our jurisdiction, you have to call the police." So I hit the interwebs, find the phone number for the local precinct, and call them directly. "Oh, you have to call 911 for that."

Yes, really. I apologized to the 911 operator, and said, "The police told me to call you." They didn't mind, but got me off the phone quick.
 
2013-06-12 07:32:56 PM
It would be cheaper and more effective then paying people to work full time to do it.
 
2013-06-12 07:33:18 PM

scottydoesntknow: Mitch Taylor's Bro: Gulper Eel: Pocket Ninja: I'm ambivalent on this for parking, but if they invented something similar to turn in the rat bastards who violate HOV lanes, I'd be all over it.

Drunks. I would snitch on drunks in a hot minute. At the insanely early hours I drive to work, I could cover my entire car insurance payment with a year's worth of turning in the wasted-ass weaving-all-over-the-road shiatheels who are out on the road at the same time I am.

I have considered buying a GoPro and mounting it somewhere on my car so I could document some of the BS I see on my relatively short commute. Maybe one on the back, too, for tailgaters. I could produce some kind of "Tosh.0" but focused solely on bad drivers.

I've wanted to get one of those small scrolling marquees you see at Office Depot for my back window. Put some pre-programmed lines in there like "Get off my ass dickhead" or "Left lane for passing only moron!" (and of course "thank you" when they're nice). That way I could voice my full opinion, more than just a finger can convey.


I had that idea, too! We should totally go into business! Can you do app development? Just program an Arduino with a few buttons that activate specific scrolling messages. we could sell them on thinkgeek.com :)
 
2013-06-12 07:33:53 PM

Gulper Eel: Pocket Ninja: I'm ambivalent on this for parking, but if they invented something similar to turn in the rat bastards who violate HOV lanes, I'd be all over it.

Drunks. I would snitch on drunks in a hot minute. At the insanely early hours I drive to work, I could cover my entire car insurance payment with a year's worth of turning in the wasted-ass weaving-all-over-the-road shiatheels who are out on the road at the same time I am.


That exists at least in Ohio, and probably elsewhere. 1-800-GRAB-DUI. When I worked second shift I'd call it on my way home at least once a week on average.
 
2013-06-12 07:37:12 PM

Uncle_Sam's_Titties: See, the chalk-made special parking spot is the way to go. That way if d-bag owner comes out and wants to fight, you'll get what you want.

People that take pictures to snitch are no better than the assholes that park shiatty. Equally passive-agressive, equally pussies.


Wrong. I want people who park like assholes to get parking tickets. I couldn't care less if said assholes know what I think of them.
 
2013-06-12 07:37:13 PM

Mitch Taylor's Bro: doglover: scottydoesntknow: So I'm guessing subby follows the "snitches get stitches" street motto.

Everybody follows it, even if they say they don't. It's a hardwired thing.

No, it's a douchebag thing. If you do something wrong and someone "snitches," the right thing to do is accept your punishment like an adult and don't do it again. If you're an entitled douchebag, yes, you get mad at the person who reported you because you obviously operate under the misguided assumption that "everything is legal if you don't get caught."


Why not? It works for incumbents.
 
2013-06-12 07:40:11 PM

doglover: scottydoesntknow: So I'm guessing subby follows the "snitches get stitches" street motto.

Everybody follows it, even if they say they don't. It's a hardwired thing.


Uh, no. No, they don't. But I could see how some might think so. Assholes, for example.
 
2013-06-12 07:41:50 PM
www.theblindcard.com

Don't even THINK of using your lame-ass, fake handicap sticker around here.
 
2013-06-12 07:42:19 PM

Skywolf the Scribbler: First-world people problem, car people problem, or city people probles?


Def not a first-world problem, as any Russian dashcam compilation will show you.
 
2013-06-12 07:42:57 PM

OtherLittleGuy: Mitch Taylor's Bro: doglover: scottydoesntknow: So I'm guessing subby follows the "snitches get stitches" street motto.

Everybody follows it, even if they say they don't. It's a hardwired thing.

No, it's a douchebag thing. If you do something wrong and someone "snitches," the right thing to do is accept your punishment like an adult and don't do it again. If you're an entitled douchebag, yes, you get mad at the person who reported you because you obviously operate under the misguided assumption that "everything is legal if you don't get caught."

Why not? It works for incumbents.


I'd laugh, but the sad truth is if the public office is high enough, chances are it works for challengers, too. Citation: every Presidential campaign since ever.
 
2013-06-12 07:43:26 PM

Uncle_Sam's_Titties: Fonaibung: scottydoesntknow: Fonaibung: I don't feel at all bad for keying someone's car if they deserve it. If I were causing wanton property damage, then yes.

So you lower yourself to their level? Call a tow truck and have them yank it away. Maybe you'll get a cherry on top if they happen to damage it when it's being hooked up. Then they're on the hook for towing costs and damage.

I don't think it's "lowering myself" to their level at all. In my experience, that's mostly a rhetorical instrument. I don't even agree with the premise.

The world would be better with a little more street justice.

So long as, you know, there's no direct confrontation between you and the perpetrator. *cough*


Oh, definitely not. I'm chickenshiat all the way. I just refuse to feel badly about it in this instance -- a guy gets what he deserves at no cost to myself. It seems to me the only people who might have a problem with it are those who drive and/or park rudely.
 
Displayed 50 of 199 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report