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(Edmonton Journal)   New app would allow you to snitch on illegal parkers, and get rewarded with a cut of the fine. It will also become commonplace to beat people to a pulp if they're caught using said app   (edmontonjournal.com) divider line 199
    More: Stupid, handicapped parking, website designers  
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6048 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Jun 2013 at 6:42 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-06-12 05:19:04 PM  
So don't get caught.
 
2013-06-12 05:26:19 PM  
It will also become commonplace to beat people to a pulp if they're caught using said app

So I'm guessing subby follows the "snitches get stitches" street motto.

This is no different than CrimeStoppers or 222-TIPS. Those people get a reward for any information leading to arrests of individuals who broke the law.

Don't want to get a fine for illegally parking? Don't illegally park. I got some douchebag's car in my apartment complex towed because he insisted on double-parking his ugly truck over two handicapped spots (no placard of course). First I put a sign on his window saying "Stupidity is not a handicap. Park here again and I'll make sure it's towed." He challenged it so I called the office and watched as a tow truck came and picked it up.
 
2013-06-12 05:32:07 PM  

scottydoesntknow: So I'm guessing subby follows the "snitches get stitches" street motto.


Everybody follows it, even if they say they don't. It's a hardwired thing.
 
2013-06-12 05:40:01 PM  
around here, I'd make a fortune ratting out people using handicapped parking spaces without proper tags.
 
2013-06-12 05:48:06 PM  

ManateeGag: around here, I'd make a fortune ratting out people using handicapped parking spaces without proper tags.


I would be happy to get some of the fine. $500 bucks here.
Beats blocking them in while I unload my wheelchair and making them wait until I'm done shopping.
 
2013-06-12 05:55:00 PM  
We are building a finking force of extraordinary magnitude
 
2013-06-12 06:00:04 PM  
I'm ambivalent on this for parking, but if they invented something similar to turn in the rat bastards who violate HOV lanes, I'd be all over it.

That, and some sort of law allowing me to run down people who leave their shopping carts in the middle of parking lots. Those two things are all I ask.
 
2013-06-12 06:02:07 PM  
Who needs an app? Greasing the door handle is pretty satisfying on it's own.
 
2013-06-12 06:05:12 PM  

doglover: scottydoesntknow: So I'm guessing subby follows the "snitches get stitches" street motto.

Everybody follows it, even if they say they don't. It's a hardwired thing.


No, it's a douchebag thing. If you do something wrong and someone "snitches," the right thing to do is accept your punishment like an adult and don't do it again. If you're an entitled douchebag, yes, you get mad at the person who reported you because you obviously operate under the misguided assumption that "everything is legal if you don't get caught."
 
2013-06-12 06:09:50 PM  

Mitch Taylor's Bro: No, it's a douchebag thing. If you do something wrong and someone "snitches," the right thing to do is accept your punishment like an adult and don't do it again.


But if someone only takes up one parking space, someone might dent the door on his 1998 Accord. Even worse, that person might have to walk an extra five feet to get into the store.
 
2013-06-12 06:10:08 PM  
Snitches get riches.
 
2013-06-12 06:12:19 PM  

crotchgrabber: Who needs an app? Greasing the door handle is pretty satisfying on it's own.


I don't usually carry grease with me.
 
2013-06-12 06:16:28 PM  

GreenAdder: Mitch Taylor's Bro: No, it's a douchebag thing. If you do something wrong and someone "snitches," the right thing to do is accept your punishment like an adult and don't do it again.

But if someone only takes up one parking space, someone might dent the door on his 1998 Accord. Even worse, that person might have to walk an extra five feet to get into the store.


Judging from this website, this might actually be a worse problem than I first suspected.

http://iparklikeanass.com/
 
2013-06-12 06:17:29 PM  

doglover: scottydoesntknow: So I'm guessing subby follows the "snitches get stitches" street motto.

Everybody follows it, even if they say they don't. It's a hardwired thing.


Appers get slappers?
 
2013-06-12 06:18:07 PM  

I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros: Snitches get riches.


Hmmm, I wonder if I could write off a D800 with a 500mm lens as a business expense? "Hello, Adorama? You're going to love me for this. Got a pen handy?"
 
2013-06-12 06:20:27 PM  

jehovahs witness protection: ManateeGag: around here, I'd make a fortune ratting out people using handicapped parking spaces without proper tags.

I would be happy to get some of the fine. $500 bucks here.
Beats blocking them in while I unload my wheelchair and making them wait until I'm done shopping.


You made me remember something from like 30-ish years ago - I worked in a retail store, and there was this one twit who loved to park his car sideways across two handicap spots while he went shopping. Young, healthy guy who made a point of showing off his muscles. Totally ignored the signs warning of a large fine (I think it was like $250 + community service or something).

One day a guy pulled in behind him with a special van for a person in a wheelchair, obviously someone with complex issues - took them like 15 minutes to get the chair out, help the person into it, do various.. stuff... but in any case, aforementioned d-bag started panicking after about 5 minutes because a parking scooter was visible in the distance, slooooooowly working it's way closer. He was pleading with the people in the van to pleeeaase allow him to move, but with a lot of bemused people around including some that obviously knew him, he was doing it politery and totally ineffectively.

Anyhow, eventually the parking lady arrived, and spent no less than 10 minutes lecturing the d-bag, while a cop arrived who obviously determined that there was some other issue (I'm guessing outstanding parking tickets), meaning d-bag's car was getting towed. Sadly this was before cellphone cams (probably too early for even the big camcorders) or the sight of Mr. Roid Rage in tears as his sweet ride was dragged over the huge speed bumps would have been epic youtube stuff.
 
2013-06-12 06:23:23 PM  

MisterTweak: jehovahs witness protection: ManateeGag: around here, I'd make a fortune ratting out people using handicapped parking spaces without proper tags.

I would be happy to get some of the fine. $500 bucks here.
Beats blocking them in while I unload my wheelchair and making them wait until I'm done shopping.

You made me remember something from like 30-ish years ago - I worked in a retail store, and there was this one twit who loved to park his car sideways across two handicap spots while he went shopping. Young, healthy guy who made a point of showing off his muscles. Totally ignored the signs warning of a large fine (I think it was like $250 + community service or something).

One day a guy pulled in behind him with a special van for a person in a wheelchair, obviously someone with complex issues - took them like 15 minutes to get the chair out, help the person into it, do various.. stuff... but in any case, aforementioned d-bag started panicking after about 5 minutes because a parking scooter was visible in the distance, slooooooowly working it's way closer. He was pleading with the people in the van to pleeeaase allow him to move, but with a lot of bemused people around including some that obviously knew him, he was doing it politery and totally ineffectively.

Anyhow, eventually the parking lady arrived, and spent no less than 10 minutes lecturing the d-bag, while a cop arrived who obviously determined that there was some other issue (I'm guessing outstanding parking tickets), meaning d-bag's car was getting towed. Sadly this was before cellphone cams (probably too early for even the big camcorders) or the sight of Mr. Roid Rage in tears as his sweet ride was dragged over the huge speed bumps would have been epic youtube stuff.


Polaroids or it didn't happen.
 
2013-06-12 06:29:17 PM  
WINNIPEG

*stops reading*
 
2013-06-12 06:45:44 PM  
I bet you could scout out some sweet spots that aren't marked well and make bank by just keeping an eye on them
 
2013-06-12 06:46:50 PM  
I don't want a piece of any fine. I just want the asshats I work with to stop taking up two spots with one car.
 
2013-06-12 06:47:40 PM  
Won't work if the illegal parker is a limo.  No cut for you.
 
2013-06-12 06:48:16 PM  
Parking douchebaggery is a pet peeve of mine.
 
2013-06-12 06:48:26 PM  

scottydoesntknow: It will also become commonplace to beat people to a pulp if they're caught using said app

So I'm guessing subby follows the "snitches get stitches" street motto.

This is no different than CrimeStoppers or 222-TIPS. Those people get a reward for any information leading to arrests of individuals who broke the law.

Don't want to get a fine for illegally parking? Don't illegally park. I got some douchebag's car in my apartment complex towed because he insisted on double-parking his ugly truck over two handicapped spots (no placard of course). First I put a sign on his window saying "Stupidity is not a handicap. Park here again and I'll make sure it's towed." He challenged it so I called the office and watched as a tow truck came and picked it up.


Putting a sign on his window exposes you to an awful lot of risk, as you may be spotted doing so, and the kind of person who does this kind of thing may well be the kind of person who responds violently.  This was a bad call.

Instead, you should have just firebombed it from a distance.  Molotov cocktails solve all sorts of problems.
 
2013-06-12 06:49:11 PM  
It occurs to me that someone with photoshop skills could use this to keep the parking authority busy running around the city like chickens with their heads cut off. Not that I'm suggesting such a thing, of course. My brain is just in its "how could this possibly backfire in spectacular fashion" default mode.
 
2013-06-12 06:50:06 PM  
I get to screw over douchebags AND make bank? Win/win, subtard
 
2013-06-12 06:50:30 PM  
I can't wait till the first beatdown happens because somebody catches a pig parked illegally
 
2013-06-12 06:50:35 PM  
The followup to this story will be in a month or so with "45 people shot to death this month for snitching on illegal parkers, program revoked in the interest of public safety."
 
2013-06-12 06:52:53 PM  
I hate parking scofflaws as much as the next guy, as I make the effort, and do, 97% of the time, park legally. OTOH, I hate the idea of breeding, with positive reinforcement, a farking Stasi society of reality-Tv-fed informers out to stab the first guy they find in the back.

/I should mention that I think humanity is doomed anyway.
//Stasi and reality-Tv in same sentence
///have I said fark me?
 
2013-06-12 06:54:39 PM  

TommyymmoT: crotchgrabber: Who needs an app? Greasing the door handle is pretty satisfying on it's own.

I don't usually carry grease with me.


I don't either, but I do seem to have an endless supply of a certain sticky substance that I think would be a good substitute.
 
2013-06-12 06:54:51 PM  

NickelP: I bet you could scout out some sweet spots that aren't marked well and make bank by just keeping an eye on them


Much like in bottle return states, I expect a cottage industry to pop up where homeless people scour the city for illegally parked cars.

/bonus points for the new brand of car thief that steals a car and then illegally parks it so they can collect when it is ticketed
 
2013-06-12 06:55:03 PM  

Pocket Ninja: I'm ambivalent on this for parking, but if they invented something similar to turn in the rat bastards who violate HOV lanes, I'd be all over it.


Drunks. I would snitch on drunks in a hot minute. At the insanely early hours I drive to work, I could cover my entire car insurance payment with a year's worth of turning in the wasted-ass weaving-all-over-the-road shiatheels who are out on the road at the same time I am.
 
2013-06-12 06:55:14 PM  

apoptotic: It occurs to me that someone with photoshop skills could use this to keep the parking authority busy running around the city like chickens with their heads cut off. Not that I'm suggesting such a thing, of course. My brain is just in its "how could this possibly backfire in spectacular fashion" default mode.


UFOs
Lolcats
Famous cars from movies

And then, eventually, a sausagefest
 
2013-06-12 06:56:21 PM  

FatherChaos: The followup to this story will be in a month or so with "45 people shot to death this month for snitching on illegal parkers, program revoked in the interest of public safety."


and every time we'll all chime in about how nice it is to hear from responsible gun owners.  Every time.
 
2013-06-12 06:59:11 PM  

Mitch Taylor's Bro: GreenAdder: Mitch Taylor's Bro: No, it's a douchebag thing. If you do something wrong and someone "snitches," the right thing to do is accept your punishment like an adult and don't do it again.

But if someone only takes up one parking space, someone might dent the door on his 1998 Accord. Even worse, that person might have to walk an extra five feet to get into the store.

Judging from this website, this might actually be a worse problem than I first suspected.

http://iparklikeanass.com/


I was walking back to my office after getting a mocha from next door and saw a late model BMW parked in multiple spaces in my company parking lot.  While I stood having a smoke with a co-worker and chatting, the owner came back from the store next door.  I made a comment about people who can't park and he replied, "if you had a car this nice, you'd park like this, too."  I said, "My car is newer, cost more, and I don't park like a douche.  If I see your car parked in this reserved lot again, you better hope the worse that happens is it gets towed."  He didn't say a word.  Just got in and drove away.

I actually didn't care that he parked in the company lot.  It was near the end of the day and there were plenty of spaces.  But I despise self-entitled assholes who think they are special.
 
2013-06-12 07:00:54 PM  
imokwiththis.jpg

Way too many people abuse parking and HOV laws. It's way too easy to obtain a driver's license, and the state of this nation's drivers is proof of this.
 
2013-06-12 07:02:25 PM  
I've needed another revenue stream for a while now,

This is perfect!
 
2013-06-12 07:02:31 PM  
Ah yes, Fark, where people are all lawbreakers, except for the things that annoy them personally must be faced with the death penalty.
 
2013-06-12 07:03:04 PM  
Will this app let me call the street painters to come paint a handicapped sign under someone's car while it's parked? Because if not I'm going to be much less motivated to help collect fines.
 
2013-06-12 07:03:09 PM  
Oh yeah, and am I the only one that has keyed cars for parking like assholes, or for cutting me off on the freeway?
 
2013-06-12 07:03:24 PM  
www.killsometime.com
I'm okay with this.
 
2013-06-12 07:03:50 PM  

Pocket Ninja: I'm ambivalent on this for parking, but if they invented something similar to turn in the rat bastards who violate HOV lanes, I'd be all over it.

That, and some sort of law allowing me to run down people who leave their shopping carts in the middle of parking lots. Those two things are all I ask.


Agreed, plus people that use handicap spots who don't have the wheelie sticker.  Could we also start ticketing the douchbags that take up four parking spots at once in a parking lot?
 
2013-06-12 07:04:59 PM  

toraque: scottydoesntknow: It will also become commonplace to beat people to a pulp if they're caught using said app

So I'm guessing subby follows the "snitches get stitches" street motto.

This is no different than CrimeStoppers or 222-TIPS. Those people get a reward for any information leading to arrests of individuals who broke the law.

Don't want to get a fine for illegally parking? Don't illegally park. I got some douchebag's car in my apartment complex towed because he insisted on double-parking his ugly truck over two handicapped spots (no placard of course). First I put a sign on his window saying "Stupidity is not a handicap. Park here again and I'll make sure it's towed." He challenged it so I called the office and watched as a tow truck came and picked it up.

Putting a sign on his window exposes you to an awful lot of risk, as you may be spotted doing so, and the kind of person who does this kind of thing may well be the kind of person who responds violently.  This was a bad call.

Instead, you should have just firebombed it from a distance.  Molotov cocktails solve all sorts of problems.


You are correct. When attending college, my parking permit was stolen. The thief actually parked his vehicle in the same lot that I used, and I left a sign on his vehicle that read "THIEF". In hindsight, I should not have left the sign; instead, I should have used a crowbar to destroy his windows and slashed his tires.
 
2013-06-12 07:05:36 PM  

Fonaibung: Oh yeah, and am I the only one that has keyed cars for parking like assholes, or for cutting me off on the freeway?


Sorry to be the one to inform you of this, but keying a car makes you a bigger asshole than anyone else.
 
2013-06-12 07:06:17 PM  

clintster: [www.killsometime.com image 450x600]
I'm okay with this.


Yes. Chalk is often a good thing to keep at the ready, apparently.
i.imgur.com
i.imgur.com
 
2013-06-12 07:06:30 PM  
A condominium that I used to live at would tow your car away if any portion of it was touching or over the white lines of either side of your assigned space.
 
2013-06-12 07:06:39 PM  
Something tells me none of our neighbors in CA have honking huge P.B.A. placard badges taking up a good portion of the driver's side window as seen in NJ USA. Held in place by three suction cups due to immense size, these special tagged vehicles are typically piloted by the rudest rule bending drivers who park wherever the hell they want. Being a dooshbag: It's part of the privilege of having a friend in law enforcement.

/ if i had something on my windshield 1/2 the size of a PBA crest i'd be ticketed for obstruction of view.
 
2013-06-12 07:06:59 PM  

Mitch Taylor's Bro: MisterTweak: jehovahs witness protection: ManateeGag: around here, I'd make a fortune ratting out people using handicapped parking spaces without proper tags.

I would be happy to get some of the fine. $500 bucks here.
Beats blocking them in while I unload my wheelchair and making them wait until I'm done shopping.

You made me remember something from like 30-ish years ago - I worked in a retail store, and there was this one twit who loved to park his car sideways across two handicap spots while he went shopping. Young, healthy guy who made a point of showing off his muscles. Totally ignored the signs warning of a large fine (I think it was like $250 + community service or something).

One day a guy pulled in behind him with a special van for a person in a wheelchair, obviously someone with complex issues - took them like 15 minutes to get the chair out, help the person into it, do various.. stuff... but in any case, aforementioned d-bag started panicking after about 5 minutes because a parking scooter was visible in the distance, slooooooowly working it's way closer. He was pleading with the people in the van to pleeeaase allow him to move, but with a lot of bemused people around including some that obviously knew him, he was doing it politery and totally ineffectively.

Anyhow, eventually the parking lady arrived, and spent no less than 10 minutes lecturing the d-bag, while a cop arrived who obviously determined that there was some other issue (I'm guessing outstanding parking tickets), meaning d-bag's car was getting towed. Sadly this was before cellphone cams (probably too early for even the big camcorders) or the sight of Mr. Roid Rage in tears as his sweet ride was dragged over the huge speed bumps would have been epic youtube stuff.

Polaroids or it didn't happen.


And you know you can't just ripped those up, you have to burn them.
 
2013-06-12 07:07:09 PM  
As a graduate student (read: POOR) in a college town, this would be sorely, sorely tempting...
 
2013-06-12 07:08:15 PM  

scottydoesntknow: First I put a sign on his window saying "Stupidity is not a handicap. Park here again and I'll make sure it's towed." He challenged it so I called the office and watched as a tow truck came and picked it up.


When I was an undergrad, I lived in an apartment ~a block off campus. The lot was clearly marked "ALL SPACES ASSIGNED, UNAUTHORIZED VEHICLES WILL BE TOWED."

The night before game day, a couple guys who had assigned spots would all park at a friend's place (way east of town). At first they did this to make a couple bucks letting football fans park in their spots, but after a while fans started just parking there early and after the fun of watching a few assholes get towed, it kind of became far more valuable than the $5 they were charging for their spot. Eventually we kind of made it a cookout sort of affair, watch a bunch of beemers get towed and then fire up the grill at the last 2 minute warning, so we would all be out when five or six illiterates came back and found their cars gone.

Good times.
 
2013-06-12 07:08:23 PM  

scottydoesntknow: Fonaibung: Oh yeah, and am I the only one that has keyed cars for parking like assholes, or for cutting me off on the freeway?

Sorry to be the one to inform you of this, but keying a car makes you a bigger asshole than anyone else.


Why? It's not like I'm keying someone that doesn't deserve it. It's targeted justice.
 
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