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(Quartz)   Your grandma wants Facebook to have a customer service hotline   (qz.com ) divider line
    More: Amusing, Facebook, CEO Mark Zuckerberg  
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1639 clicks; posted to Business » on 12 Jun 2013 at 2:15 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



21 Comments   (+0 »)
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2013-06-12 02:31:49 PM  
A niece recently announced that she wanted her younger sister to "make a Facebook" a few days ago.  I almost said, "You meant a 'Facebook profile'," but I stopped myself in a moment of doubt.  Did memetics leave me behind?

Damned kids.
 
2013-06-12 02:41:47 PM  
My dad, fairly technologically competent, called me because he couldn't find the Log Out link on FB (he left a VM, then sent me a text 1min later telling me to ignore it. He set up a profile a year or two ago, and doesn't ever use it).

The problem is not that Facebook doesn't have a customer-service line, it's that it doesn't take in any money except ads revenue and the steadily-declining microtransactions (though doesn't Zynga get most of that, and FB only gets a small cut). Amazon sells lots of stuff - if they sell a billion items for a dime's profit off each, they've made $100 million. FB doesn't do near that kind of volume, sales-wise. How could they, selling only ads?

Said Warren Buffet (or was it Soros) of MBS's many years ago: "I don't understand what it is, and it can't be explained simply, it's probably a bad investment" (paraphrasing). If someone invests because a company is popular, or because their art-major daughter (or 8-year-old son) wants them to, they deserve to lose every penny.
 
2013-06-12 02:49:27 PM  
My retired father has recently joined Facebook after piggybacking on my mother's account for years now.  I logged in after a long hiatus just to friend him.  He then immediately sends me a 3 page diatribe about how Facebook makes it easy to connect with family and friends via text on my blackberry.

Good luck with Dad, Mark.
 
2013-06-12 03:12:47 PM  
"Many said they bought the stock on the advice of their family."I have more than 8,000 shares. I have heard about Facebook. I don't know how to use Facebook but I own stock," said a woman whose son encouraged her to buy shares.

The man with the question about hackers told Zuckerberg that he "invested blindly" because "my family is a big fan of yours."
"

And that's all you need to know about Facebook, its investors, and its chances in general.
 
2013-06-12 03:35:56 PM  

PainInTheASP: "Many said they bought the stock on the advice of their family."I have more than 8,000 shares. I have heard about Facebook. I don't know how to use Facebook but I own stock," said a woman whose son encouraged her to buy shares.

The man with the question about hackers told Zuckerberg that he "invested blindly" because "my family is a big fan of yours.""

And that's all you need to know about Facebook, its investors, and its chances in general.


I simply cannot understand how our society treats the income of these people with more deference than those of us who work for a living.
 
hej
2013-06-12 04:01:29 PM  
"Judging by the questions at Facebook's first annual shareholder meeting yesterday, its investors are unhappy with its stock price, frustrated with its features... and just baffled by Facebook generally."

And yet they bought and continue to hold on to the stock.
 
2013-06-12 05:21:16 PM  
Being Facebook phone support would be a very special kind of Hell.

I think the Constitution covers that option under barring "Cruel and Unusual Punishment".
 
2013-06-12 06:06:21 PM  
Facebook phone support would be a wonderful thing. It'd give me someplace to send all the people who don't know their facebook login instead of trying to walk through the recover password (I work for a local ISP)
 
2013-06-12 06:12:42 PM  

Nonrepeating Rotating Binary: Being Facebook phone support would be a very special kind of Hell.

I think the Constitution covers that option under barring "Cruel and Unusual Punishment".


I dunno, I think its a toss up between that and the olden days of AOL dialup support, back then it wasn't uncommon to need to explain how the new CD version didn't go in your stereo.  The special hell would be the part where you just finished explaining how you'll have to disconnect the call so they can try their modem but they jump the gun and both of you get that special audible treat that only a full-volume headset can deliver, then when it finally stops you try re-explaining things again and half way through...SSSCHHRHRHRRHRHRHR-PAAAAAYYYIGGGGGGGGGGGGZZZZZZZGGHGHGHG...

for all of eternity.
 
2013-06-12 06:37:06 PM  
or Grandma can go the Frances Millard way...
 
2013-06-12 07:39:04 PM  

un4gvn666: PainInTheASP: "Many said they bought the stock on the advice of their family."I have more than 8,000 shares. I have heard about Facebook. I don't know how to use Facebook but I own stock," said a woman whose son encouraged her to buy shares.

The man with the question about hackers told Zuckerberg that he "invested blindly" because "my family is a big fan of yours.""

And that's all you need to know about Facebook, its investors, and its chances in general.

I simply cannot understand how our society treats the income of these people with more deference than those of us who work for a living.


Dirty wage-earning peasants, glorious investment-income master race.
 
2013-06-12 08:38:52 PM  

Ramien: Facebook phone support would be a wonderful thing. It'd give me someplace to send all the people who don't know their facebook login instead of trying to walk through the recover password (I work for a local ISP)


I was just thinking how ball-crushingly stupid the callers would be.
 
2013-06-12 09:47:20 PM  
I would imagine Facebook's *real* customers already have a pretty decent support system at their disposal.

/sorry, grandma, that ain't you.
 
2013-06-12 11:54:38 PM  

atomic-age: Ramien: Facebook phone support would be a wonderful thing. It'd give me someplace to send all the people who don't know their facebook login instead of trying to walk through the recover password (I work for a local ISP)

I was just thinking how ball-crushingly stupid the callers would be.


On that scale, somewhere between bricks and anvils.

To be honest, though, I do find it depressing how many businesses seem to think that not having readily accessible support is a good thing, especially ones like facebook that people use every day. It's email or nothing, and that doesn't always give a good impression.
 
2013-06-13 12:38:05 AM  

the cake is a pie: I would imagine Facebook's *real* customers already have a pretty decent support system at their disposal.

/sorry, grandma, that ain't you.


Well yah no kidding, they even spell it out in this really handy diagram:
static3.businessinsider.com
 
2013-06-13 02:02:26 AM  
"Many said they bought the stock on the advice of their family."I have more than 8,000 shares. I have heard about Facebook. I don't know how to use Facebook but I own stock," said a woman whose son encouraged her to buy shares.
The man with the question about hackers told Zuckerberg that he "invested blindly" because "my family is a big fan of yours."


How the hell did such stupendously ignorant people get so impossibly wealthy?
 
2013-06-13 02:22:10 AM  

Ramien: atomic-age: Ramien: Facebook phone support would be a wonderful thing. It'd give me someplace to send all the people who don't know their facebook login instead of trying to walk through the recover password (I work for a local ISP)

I was just thinking how ball-crushingly stupid the callers would be.

On that scale, somewhere between bricks and anvils.

To be honest, though, I do find it depressing how many businesses seem to think that not having readily accessible support is a good thing, especially ones like facebook that people use every day. It's email or nothing, and that doesn't always give a good impression.


Ya Google doesn't even have email support, except for paid stuff like the business version of Apps.  As far as I can tell you're hosed if a random help forum can't do the job.

Makes me a bit wary about how much I depend on them.  If it goes wrong, I'd be quite inconvenienced for a long time.
 
2013-06-13 03:45:09 AM  
The last paragraph of that article hinted that, as a tech company, Facebook should be made by 20-somethings for 20-somethings. However, the prime money-spending demographic is 35-54 -- people in their peak earning years. If he keeps targeting people in that older age bracket, he actually is doing something right.
 
2013-06-13 04:03:28 AM  
Plus the whole "giving the government access to everything, then issuing the same denial the other sites did" thing.

/ the only 20 somethings I have on facebook are nephews and such.  believe it or not everyone likes to keep up with people they know.  If Facebook stayed the private club of college kids like it started out, they would be unknown and valueless.
 
2013-06-13 03:48:17 PM  

Mike Chewbacca: un4gvn666: PainInTheASP: "Many said they bought the stock on the advice of their family."I have more than 8,000 shares. I have heard about Facebook. I don't know how to use Facebook but I own stock," said a woman whose son encouraged her to buy shares.

The man with the question about hackers told Zuckerberg that he "invested blindly" because "my family is a big fan of yours.""

And that's all you need to know about Facebook, its investors, and its chances in general.

I simply cannot understand how our society treats the income of these people with more deference than those of us who work for a living.

Dirty wage-earning peasants, glorious investment-income master race.


That's right, you heard it here, ALL investors are retarded. There are NO geniuses or even intelligent people among them. Nope, not a one. Therefore, gimme yer tax money, because fark you.
 
2013-06-13 04:51:46 PM  
Amusing? Facebook's approach to customer service is "Because fark you, that's why."
 
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