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(CBC)   It's hockey history in the making with Boston in Chicago tonight... Game 1 Stanley Cup Finals. Two Original Six teams. And a match up that's never happened before... puck drops @8ET   ( divider line
    More: Cool, Chicago Tonight, Stanley Cup Finals, Adam McQuaid, puck drop, Nathan Horton  
•       •       •

629 clicks; posted to FarkUs » on 12 Jun 2013 at 8:22 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-06-12 08:15:20 PM  
4 votes:

soopey: Primitive Screwhead: Is this good or bad?

I'm surprised he had the strength to lift that sweater up.

But he moves like Jagr.

/I'm sorry.
2013-06-12 01:55:46 PM  
4 votes:
2013-06-13 01:01:25 AM  
3 votes:
2013-06-12 11:38:43 PM  
3 votes:


2013-06-13 12:58:57 AM  
2 votes:
This is the game that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started watching it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue watching it forever just because...This is the game that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started watching it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue watching it forever just because...This is the game that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend...
2013-06-13 12:54:48 AM  
2 votes:

Johnny the Tackling Alzheimers Patient: mcmnky: SacriliciousBeerSwiller: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines.

*shakes tiny fists*

"I'd just like to say Good Luck, we're all counting on you"

I'm out there busting my buns every night. Tell your old man to drag Chara and Seidenberg up and down the ice for 3 OTs.
2013-06-13 12:45:26 AM  
2 votes:

picodenico: What does 'long change' mean? I don't remember hearing that before.

To start the game out, after the first period, getting off jerseys and protection, especially the sweat absorbing pads under shin guards, elbow pads, and chest protector, is rather easy. However, after the second period, the sweat and heat makes them stick to the skin, thus the "period of the long change" when the players head back into the locker room. Since the sweat absorbing pads get laundered each period, every other period is either a period of the short change, where changing is faster, or period of the long change, where changing is slower.
2013-06-13 12:40:47 AM  
2 votes:
Bringing this back from last year, credit to notn:
2013-06-13 12:38:49 AM  
2 votes:

Ardilla: This is too much hockey.
2013-06-13 12:37:52 AM  
2 votes:

SacriliciousBeerSwiller: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines.
2013-06-13 12:32:13 AM  
2 votes:
For your intermission entertainment... SPUDD MCKENZIE!!! :D
2013-06-13 12:29:39 AM  
2 votes:
I bet Thomas is watching this on his old plaid couch right now, feverish and gaunt, his red-rimmed eyes rolling as he scratches his neck and face compulsively.

He's missing a sock and foam flutters out the corner of his mouth as he twiches and mumbles, "" over and over again.
2013-06-12 11:33:15 PM  
2 votes:

Polish Hussar: ytterbium: Seabrook says that like a double drink?

I'm still confused, how the devil do you have a brook in the middle of the sea?

Haven't you ever seen Blue Lagoon?
2013-06-12 11:20:37 PM  
2 votes:
2013-06-12 11:20:04 PM  
2 votes:
2013-06-12 11:16:15 PM  
2 votes:

mcmnky: Primitive Screwhead:

Like a WOPR for boobies? I like this idea.

Strange game, Prof. Earguy.

[ image 509x196]

2013-06-12 10:50:55 PM  
2 votes:

picodenico: Silvara: Did he really just say "sooo big and long, chara's stick..."? REALLY?

Still better than Marv Albert's favorite "Backdoor penetration to the facial!"

Nothing compares to the Olympics, female weightlifting: "I saw her snatch this morning - it was spectacular ... oh my God did I just say that on the air?"
2013-06-12 10:42:20 PM  
2 votes:

2013-06-12 10:10:11 PM  
2 votes:

Anderson's Pooper: Lt. Cheese Weasel: Lauren was always smoky hot.

Yeah baby!  Bacall, Bergman and Hepburn for me.  My Dad was a fan of Hedy Lamarr

2013-06-12 10:00:06 PM  
2 votes:

ytterbium: Donnchadha: Captain Steroid: INTERMISSION!

[ image 500x281]

I was just thinking I should watch some My Little Pony while on acid.... now I don't have to

My husband keeps putting the original Tron on during breaks and intermissions. It's too much, had to leave the room.

You knew what you were getting into when you married him
2013-06-12 08:03:33 PM  
2 votes:
2013-06-12 06:14:58 PM  
2 votes:
For Chicago area viewers:
2013-06-12 01:03:47 PM  
2 votes:

WhiskeySticks: Phletchengreuber: Chara and Lucic haven't been fed this week. Limbs will be lost.

Claude Julien will be the first one eaten, he's rather plump in the face.
2013-06-12 11:26:07 AM  
2 votes:
My Team Jerseys. A nod to the great Cam Neely!!! Yes, that is a badger smoking a doob.
2013-06-12 10:29:17 AM  
2 votes:
2013-06-12 09:34:10 AM  
2 votes:
2013-06-13 12:53:39 PM  
1 vote:

Recoil Therapy: OtherLittleGuy: Chicago leads Boston, 1-0-1.

Five more minutes & that would be completely true....

What an awesome game.... what a miserable morning...... [thunk]4rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

[wha?] Oh, sorry

God I love this time of year....

Luckily you don't work at a bank.  You could have just cost someone 222 million dollars.
2013-06-13 09:11:23 AM  
1 vote:
2013-06-13 08:51:26 AM  
1 vote:

Primitive Screwhead: Primitive Screwhead: Bruins fans are a Zombie Nation this morning..

Drink all the coffees!


Long this day will be

A scene that will be played out all across New England and Northern Illinois today:
2013-06-13 01:44:34 AM  
1 vote:

fatalvenom: Latvia land would have been partying tonight too.

Joke from Latvia. Very funny. You read.

One day, hear knock on door.

Man ask "Who is?"

"Is potato man, I come around to give free potato"

Man is very excite and opens door.

Is not potato man, is secret police.
2013-06-13 01:36:25 AM  
1 vote:
2013-06-13 01:30:49 AM  
1 vote:

jaylectricity: . This does not bode well for Chicago.

The Bruins will figure them out.

Im submitting that as a headline
2013-06-13 01:08:33 AM  
1 vote:

WhiskeySticks: Local NBC newscasters have got to be pissed the game took so long.

Think about those poor retirees who died waiting for Leno to come on.
2013-06-13 01:02:49 AM  
1 vote:
And a badge if you want it.
2013-06-13 01:02:42 AM  
1 vote:
And after Game 1, the Hawks are leading the series 1-0-1
2013-06-13 12:45:00 AM  
1 vote:

robsul82: Z-clipped: The bad news is that we have to listen to Doc Emrick for another 20 minutes.

[ image 500x264]


He's friggin awful.  Not only is his play-by-play grating and contrived, but he's an idiot on top of it.  It's like listening to Steve Coates do an impression of Lily Tomlin's "operator" character.
2013-06-13 12:42:37 AM  
1 vote:

mcmnky: I wonder if the next goal wins it.

At this point, it's volleyball rules -- gotta win by two
2013-06-13 12:41:43 AM  
1 vote:
2013-06-13 12:37:43 AM  
1 vote:
2013-06-13 12:32:05 AM  
1 vote:

Ardilla: This is too much hockey.

2013-06-13 12:30:59 AM  
1 vote:
Alright Buffalo Wild Wings, enough's enough.
2013-06-13 12:30:11 AM  
1 vote:

Fochstockings: You know who else hit the post a bunch?

Jenna Jameson?
2013-06-13 12:23:59 AM  
1 vote:
Chicago can't count to potato.
2013-06-13 12:18:24 AM  
1 vote:
Doc, it's OK to shut the fark up for like eight seconds.
2013-06-13 12:12:20 AM  
1 vote:

andychrist420: clintster: On the second day of hockey my true love gave to me... two turtlenecks, and a beer

3 French toasts

/Have it on vinyl
2013-06-13 12:09:23 AM  
1 vote:

lokis_mentor: Altitude5280: The last time I posted this question Chicago won. So here goes. It's the midnight hour for eastern Farkers. So who has to work today?

Work, what's that?

The Japanese interns have me covered. >.>
2013-06-13 12:06:51 AM  
1 vote:
On the second day of hockey my true love gave to me... two turtlenecks, and a beer
2013-06-13 12:01:26 AM  
1 vote:
Horton Hears a Pop

/oh, c'mon
2013-06-12 11:59:50 PM  
1 vote:

andychrist420: mikaloyd: Lucic is drunk

What's the hockey equivalent of "punch drunk?"

2013-06-12 11:58:59 PM  
1 vote:

andychrist420: mikaloyd: Lucic is drunk

What's the hockey equivalent of "punch drunk?"

Eric Lindros?
2013-06-12 11:51:23 PM  
1 vote:

thisiszombocom: meanwhile the thread count hits 1500

Oh god, I love luxurious cotton sheets.
2013-06-12 11:50:25 PM  
1 vote:
My Intermission entertainment is a Twitter search of "Leno" and looking at all the butthurt.
2013-06-12 11:40:36 PM  
1 vote:

WhiskeySticks: Christ...

2013-06-12 11:29:55 PM  
1 vote:

skinink: Dammit this game is gonna make me miss "60 Minutes"!

"60 Minutes" will air in its entirety immediately following the conclusion of this game, except on the West Coast, where it will air at its usually scheduled time.

/RIP: Pat Summerall
2013-06-12 11:21:49 PM  
1 vote:

NeoCortex42: Recoil Therapy: It's a good thing that these guys have until Sat to recover given the intensity that they're playing at

/bad for us who want to watch hockey
//I may rewatch this game for the next couple of days
///it's been a good one

Any reason they're taking two days off after just one game?  That seems lime crappy scheduling.

Basketball Lawyer didn't want any conflicts with his old butt-buddy Stern.
2013-06-12 11:19:41 PM  
1 vote:

Polish Hussar: You get a neutral zone turnover!  You get a neutral zone turnover!  Everyone gets a neutral zone turnover!

It's the trap!!
2013-06-12 10:59:05 PM  
1 vote:

MrJesus: Earguy: MrJesus: WHAR EARGUY WHAR

There's real people in the house, I can't just surf for models.

Surf? SURF?

I imagined you having this miraculous archive of hockey situation models that would last until the end of humanity and auto-post from UltraFark in the event of your demise.

I'll just keep imagining that.

Like a WOPR for boobies? I like this idea.
2013-06-12 10:52:02 PM  
1 vote:

WhiskeySticks: bonus hockey for you.
2013-06-12 10:51:29 PM  
1 vote:
2013-06-12 10:36:11 PM  
1 vote:
From Jack Edwards: So through 53 minutes, the Blackhawks have scored more goals than the Penguins did in 4 games.
2013-06-12 10:33:23 PM  
1 vote:

TheManofPA: The Buffalo Wild Wings guy wants Earguy's tied picture NOW

Donnchadha: Paging Earguy.... Earguy, your presence is requested

Johnny the Tackling Alzheimers Patient: Earguy -you're on

Look UP, slowpokes.
2013-06-12 10:15:49 PM  
1 vote:

Damn, I'm totally failing at posting.

2013-06-12 09:56:12 PM  
1 vote:

Captain Steroid: INTERMISSION!

[ image 500x281]

I was just thinking I should watch some My Little Pony while on acid.... now I don't have to
2013-06-12 09:55:37 PM  
1 vote:
Jagr...just let him lay there, he has one of those "I've fallen and I can't get up" necklaces. It's cool.
2013-06-12 09:42:59 PM  
1 vote:
2013-06-12 09:36:41 PM  
1 vote:
2013-06-12 09:24:46 PM  
1 vote:

bluorangefyre: Not caring since the best team in the NHL is not playing.  But I do hope the Blackhawks destroy the team responsible for not allowing the best team in the NHL to play.

Shut up, Pierre.
2013-06-12 09:23:15 PM  
1 vote:
Kneel before saad
2013-06-12 09:23:13 PM  
1 vote:

IamSoSmart_S_M_R_T: irishman4: two goal lead means no easy buckets for chicago, bruins will fall into defense first mode, and likely will score on a counter on the chicago rush

Nice call ;)

the sun shines on a dogs ass every once in a while
2013-06-12 09:22:43 PM  
1 vote:
Oh holy f*ck, I forgot about that f*cking song.

Now I know who to root for....
2013-06-12 09:21:22 PM  
1 vote:
In other news -- Papa John's Twitter guy is saying, "Oh we're trending for some reason -- Mission Accomplished!"
2013-06-12 09:13:37 PM  
1 vote:

James72: [ image 800x450]
2013-06-12 09:12:06 PM  
1 vote:
2013-06-12 09:03:20 PM  
1 vote:

wuma: keylock71: FriarReb98: Surprised the dog didn't run hiding when I screamed after that goal... :P

Had to scrape the cat off the ceiling over here. : )

Still haven't seen my cat since the goal. Thankfully the dog and girlfriend are out or I wouldn't see them either.

My dog looked at my like "WTF? I'm trying to sleep here." I took a picture because his Bruin's tag was showing when he lifted his head.
2013-06-12 09:00:44 PM  
1 vote:

sno man: [ image 711x474]

Yeah, the "healthy snacks" including a carton of CIGARETTES doesn't date this at all! XD
2013-06-12 08:59:30 PM  
1 vote:

irishman4: andychrist420: Popcorn Johnny: andychrist420: Yeah, the Bruins are the luckiest farking team in the history of ever.

No, that's Chicago.

Trolololol.  You are too easy.

/give it a rest
//or get over it already

the butt hurt is strong with you andrew

From the guy who can't get over a round 2 collapse.  That's called irony, kids.
2013-06-12 08:50:12 PM  
1 vote:

Popcorn Johnny: Goaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaal not Chicago!!!

Yeah, the Bruins are the luckiest farking team in the history of ever.
2013-06-12 08:30:53 PM  
1 vote:

Fubegra: UC looks better in HD than in standard def.
2013-06-12 08:23:20 PM  
1 vote:
2013-06-12 08:22:55 PM  
1 vote:
2013-06-12 08:22:39 PM  
1 vote:
2013-06-12 08:19:30 PM  
1 vote:

Popcorn Johnny: Seriously, it's so classless of Chicago fans to scream during the Anthem, can they please stop?

I'm listening to the farkin' song!
2013-06-12 08:14:08 PM  
1 vote:
A friend re-posted this on Facebook...

...I don't think it's the daughters they need to worry about.  Just sayin'.
2013-06-12 08:13:48 PM  
1 vote:

andychrist420: Primitive Screwhead: Is this good or bad?

[ image 360x480]

Not good.  He's useless on the back check.

Not according to David Bowie
2013-06-12 08:10:42 PM  
1 vote:

Primitive Screwhead: Is this good or bad?

Should have given him a womans cut jersey.
2013-06-12 08:05:00 PM  
1 vote:
2013-06-12 08:01:05 PM  
1 vote:
2013-06-12 07:55:06 PM  
1 vote:

Popcorn Johnny: My official prediction is.....

2013-06-12 07:49:30 PM  
1 vote:
Devils fan here looking forward to a 7 game series. Doesn't matter who wins for me, just want to see some good hockey. I'm just happy the Kings and Rangers are out.

Lets keep the entertainment going, flashback to last year:
2013-06-12 07:44:01 PM  
1 vote:

irishman4: [ image 480x360]

Jagr's mustache/beard is beyond epic. We're approaching biblical levels

Marchand was complaining his balls were chafing so Jagr had to shave.
2013-06-12 07:17:57 PM  
1 vote:
2013-06-12 06:34:07 PM  
1 vote:
2013-06-12 06:06:59 PM  
1 vote:
It goes to game 7 and ends in OT when Gerry Cheevers deflects a Bobby Hull tip of a Jeremy Roenick wrister to the corner where Eddie Shore battles Stan Mikita for the loose puck and kicks it loose to "Chief" John Bucyk.  Bucyk slides it over to Bobby Orr who skates it through the neutral zone backing Doug Wilson in and ducking a Chris Chelios hit before dishing to Milt Schmidt in the corner.  Schmidt battles Wilson and feeds it out front to Cam Neely who, with Roenick all over him on the back check, picks high glove over Tony Esposito.
2013-06-12 04:48:29 PM  
1 vote:
I just spit water all over my keyboard looking at some of these..

Gary Bettman Bruins/Blackhawks Playoff Beard Gallery
2013-06-12 04:30:14 PM  
1 vote:
2013-06-12 03:15:43 PM  
1 vote:
Hehe. Saw this on facebook. The Sugarloaf admins have a good sense of humor.
2013-06-12 02:22:59 PM  
1 vote:
My friend is putting plastic on her couch so when Toews scores (her future husband) she wont sploosh the couch. Her words not mine.
2013-06-12 12:44:05 PM  
1 vote:
Chara and Lucic haven't been fed this week. Limbs will be lost.
2013-06-12 12:14:48 PM  
1 vote:
Even as a Bruins fan, this has been bugging me -- where have I seen this face before?
2013-06-12 12:13:57 PM  
1 vote:

Let's Go, Bruins!!!!
2013-06-12 11:44:46 AM  
1 vote:

ytterbium: I could barely sleep last night, I'm so psyched. Let's just hope these storms leave the UC and its power grid alone.

Off to charge all electronics...

Yeah, that would really suck if a derecho farked up game 1.

Blow the roof off of my house - see if I give a shiat - but please, don't delay game 1!

Today's word is "derecho." "Derecho."
2013-06-12 10:47:15 AM  
1 vote:
2013-06-12 09:52:35 AM  
1 vote:

animesucks: boo boston
2013-06-12 09:38:53 AM  
1 vote:

Publikwerks: [ image 500x650]

fatalvenom: My old lady gets mad if I shave my beard, even during the off-season. She was pissed when I trimmed it down before the playoffs started, now I'm back to looking like a lumberjack.

I got told if I did the beard then I'd loose access to mouth on trim....sooo yeah that was an easy choice
2013-06-12 09:36:06 AM  
1 vote:

Publikwerks: [ image 500x650]
2013-06-12 09:21:10 AM  
1 vote:

And it's been awhile since I predicted this, which ones of you people gets to call me a wizard now

/Hawks win in game 7
//Book it...done
2013-06-12 08:45:54 AM  
1 vote:
And Because Tradition...
2013-06-12 08:44:09 AM  
1 vote:
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