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(KPTV Portland)   Breaking update about the naked woman lost in the forest: she's gorgeous   (kptv.com) divider line 95
    More: Followup, KPTV, search teams, forests  
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19647 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Jun 2013 at 4:26 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-06-11 12:42:06 PM  
From TFA:

The search for a 19-year-old woman wearing nothing but a fanny pack in the woods of Skamania County in Washington state will resume Tuesday morning.

Hey now....
 
2013-06-11 12:47:24 PM  
...and dumb as a farking stump. If I were in charge, there would be no searching for her. We need to let abject stupidity takes its course.
 
2013-06-11 01:14:28 PM  
She was on a "spiritual quest." My guess is that she's already found out if thre's an afterlife.
 
2013-06-11 01:24:46 PM  
Naked, 19-year old chick walking away from a campsite and going on a "spiritual quest" in the woods? I'm sure they won't find any peyote buttons in that fanny pack when they recover her body.
 
2013-06-11 03:17:33 PM  
Hot and stupid, just how I like them.

/tell me does she have low self-esteem too?  Because that'd be perfect.
 
2013-06-11 03:54:49 PM  

Gecko Gingrich: Naked, 19-year old chick walking away from a campsite and going on a "spiritual quest" in the woods? I'm sure they won't find any peyote buttons in that fanny pack when they recover her body.


Probably because she will have eaten them all.
 
2013-06-11 04:27:16 PM  
She was probably found by some hillbilly type . Who is currently reenacting scenes from deliverance .
 
2013-06-11 04:28:04 PM  
Maureen Kelly, from Vancouver, set out on a "spiritual quest" and walked away from a campsite

Ahhhh she brought some acid with her
 
2013-06-11 04:30:39 PM  
See, drugs are bad.  They killed a young, stupid girl instead of making her into a slut like she should have been.
 
2013-06-11 04:31:26 PM  
Too bad they aren't brains.
 
2013-06-11 04:31:27 PM  
Search for missing naked woman now in second day

Maybe for YOU.  I've been looking for them for about as long as I can remember.
 
2013-06-11 04:31:29 PM  
Breaking update about the naked woman lost in the forest: she's gorgeous mediocre, even by Portland standards.
 
2013-06-11 04:32:16 PM  
So little Red Riding Hood can skip two and a half miles through the forest, but once she realizes that Grandma is really the wolf, she does what every white woman does when trying to run: she fell.
 
2013-06-11 04:33:10 PM  
Rescuers =
Woody Allen, Bananas, Snake bite scene.
/trippin' titties
 
2013-06-11 04:33:34 PM  
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-06-11 04:34:10 PM  
Missing white girl!   Everybody panic!!!
/they will find her 3 days from now shacking up with her black boyfriend (mom doesn't approve) in Seattle.
 
2013-06-11 04:34:31 PM  
Found her.

arachnoid.com
 
2013-06-11 04:36:12 PM  

sithon: She was probably found by some hillbilly type . Who is currently reenacting scenes from deliverance .


Considering some of the actual stories of this type that hit the news, your deadpool might pay off soon.
 
2013-06-11 04:36:43 PM  
State/local news:  Missing brunette white girl
National news:  Missing white blond girl
 
2013-06-11 04:37:11 PM  
is 'spiritual quest' an euphemism for high on PCP or acid?
I have to admit I'm getting too old to keep up with hipster colloquialism.
 
2013-06-11 04:37:37 PM  
So...clothes are unacceptable for a spiritual quest but a fanny pack is recommended if not required.

/Skamania area is pretty damn cool.
//Especially the lodge and their buffet.
 
2013-06-11 04:38:47 PM  

EvilEgg: Hot and stupid, just how I like them.

/tell me does she have low self-esteem too?  Because that'd be perfect.


Yes, and they stem from daddy issues.
 
2013-06-11 04:39:28 PM  
Does the wearing of a fanny-pack diminish the awesomeness of the (stoned-to-the-tits) nudity?
Improper accessorizing can ruin a desired look.

/ah geeze, did I just go gay?
 
2013-06-11 04:39:31 PM  
SOP in missing persons cases should be to show a picture in what she was last seen wearing.
 
2013-06-11 04:40:28 PM  
Um. She's cute, okay? But let's not throw around bombastic words like "gorgeous" else we'll deprive them of all meaning.
 
2013-06-11 04:40:41 PM  

litespeed74: So...clothes are unacceptable for a spiritual quest but a fanny pack is recommended if not required.

/Skamania area is pretty damn cool.
//Especially the lodge and their buffet.


Absolutely! Where else are you going to carry your aura cleanser?
 
2013-06-11 04:40:59 PM  

under a mountain: [1.bp.blogspot.com image 530x378]


I think those just make you bigger.
 
2013-06-11 04:41:20 PM  
Hypothermia causes you to hallucinate also....
 
2013-06-11 04:42:58 PM  
"Skamania County"

WOO! NO DOUBT; SUBLIME! WOO!

/packers woo
 
2013-06-11 04:43:05 PM  

gameshowhost: Um. She's cute, okay? But let's not throw around bombastic words like "gorgeous" else we'll deprive them of all meaning.


cute+19+naked = gorgeous
 
2013-06-11 04:43:52 PM  
Can a sketch artist draw up a picture of her from the neck down? Just in case there are other nude chicks out there - wearing bags on their heads & stuff.
 
2013-06-11 04:44:08 PM  
Meh, either she is a trained and experienced outdoors person like myself and is just out on a walkabout
or
She's a stupid white chick on drugs, and will get what's coming to her.  Like an invite to dinner. With some bears.
 
2013-06-11 04:44:49 PM  
While Kelly's brother described her as comfortable and capable with the outdoors, he said she's not as prepared as he would have liked.


That's funny and disturbing.
 
2013-06-11 04:45:04 PM  
"If she hadn't gotten a Brazilian, she could've survived the frost..."
 
2013-06-11 04:45:31 PM  
I'd rescue her. I'd rescue her so hard.
 
2013-06-11 04:45:51 PM  

poprecords: Found her.

[arachnoid.com image 400x291]


Damnit! I was all set with this!
 
2013-06-11 04:45:57 PM  
Subby's in to necrophilia?
 
2013-06-11 04:45:59 PM  

physt: gameshowhost: Um. She's cute, okay? But let's not throw around bombastic words like "gorgeous" else we'll deprive them of all meaning.

cute+19+naked = gorgeous


www.2dopeboyz.com
 
2013-06-11 04:46:38 PM  
Bare meets bear?
 
2013-06-11 04:48:19 PM  
media.smithsonianmag.com
Seen in the area.
 
2013-06-11 04:49:31 PM  
So what if she's gorgeous?  Don't stick it in crazy!
 
2013-06-11 04:49:35 PM  
Too bad she's dead of exposure or animal attack. My bet is on exposure. She probably got lost, realized her orienteering skills were woefully lacking, and then immediately regretted not wearing any clothes. Or, you know, bear attack.
 
2013-06-11 04:50:16 PM  
Hmmm, no heat vision sensors on the helicopter?
 
2013-06-11 04:52:44 PM  
www.codinghorror.com
 
2013-06-11 04:53:57 PM  
Breaking update about the naked woman lost in the forest: she's gorgeous

kptv.images.worldnow.com

Subby needs to get out more.
 
2013-06-11 04:55:09 PM  

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: Breaking update about the naked woman lost in the forest: she's gorgeous

[kptv.images.worldnow.com image 586x586]

Subby needs to get out more.


Pffft.  I'd hit it.
 
2013-06-11 04:55:23 PM  
A friend reported her missing in the early morning hours of Monday, said Skamania County Undersheriff Dave Cox.

WTF?  The friend she was camping with who watched her walk away?  Is he a suspect?
 
2013-06-11 04:57:54 PM  

reillan: Abe Vigoda's Ghost: Breaking update about the naked woman lost in the forest: she's gorgeous

[kptv.images.worldnow.com image 586x586]

Subby needs to get out more.

Pffft.  I'd hit it.


Most of us would. Doesn't make her "gorgeous."

"Cleans up nice" maybe.
 
2013-06-11 04:58:27 PM  
I'd also walk naked through a rugged forest if it meant not living in Vancouver, Wash.
 
2013-06-11 04:58:56 PM  
It is unknown whether she may be on a road or trail in the area or if she is moving cross country.

Any hippy chick moving cross country would most likely be in a VW bus. What do these people get paid for?
 
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