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(The Register)   Attention Farkettes: Eye-of-Sauron vibrator recalled   (theregister.co.uk) divider line 46
    More: PSA, NSFW Ann Summers, Ann Summers, trading standards  
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8380 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Jun 2013 at 8:40 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



46 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-06-11 08:44:03 AM
You shall not cum!!
 
2013-06-11 08:47:56 AM
One does not simply cock into Mordor.
 
2013-06-11 08:48:37 AM
burny
 
2013-06-11 08:52:47 AM
And in the darkness, grinds them
 
2013-06-11 08:53:53 AM
Dildo Baggins
 
2013-06-11 08:56:41 AM
Great, now I have hundreds of quotes from the movie and I'm sexualizing them

"A wizard is never late to cum, Frodo Baggins. Nor is he early. He finishes precisely when he means to. "

"Even the smallest orgasm can change the course of the future"

"The clit has awoken, it's heard its masters call"

"The clit.....The one place in Middle-Earth we don't want to see any closer. And it's the one place we're trying to get to. It's just where we can't get. Let's face it, Mr. Frodo, we're lost "
 
2013-06-11 09:03:53 AM
What's a g-spot, precious?
 
2013-06-11 09:04:02 AM
"And the great eye....is ever watchful"
 
2013-06-11 09:04:14 AM
"Understand, Frodo. I would use this clit from a desire to do good... But through me, it would wield a power too great and terrible to imagine. "
 
2013-06-11 09:06:03 AM
Not Safe For Wombs
 
2013-06-11 09:08:17 AM
Man, I'd hate to be working the returns counter...
 
2013-06-11 09:10:01 AM
The Eye of Sauron? In MY vagina?

It's more likely than you think.
 
2013-06-11 09:15:41 AM
Nerd alert!
 
2013-06-11 09:16:02 AM
12 comments in and no "penetrating gaze"

/disappointed.
 
2013-06-11 09:20:11 AM
This device must be put back into the firey chasm from whence it came.... one of YOU must do this.
 
2013-06-11 09:20:25 AM
This is exactly why I always give the gift of a 3-stroke diesel powered 6 HP engine to my girlfriends.
 
2013-06-11 09:27:51 AM
i vibrate better
 
2013-06-11 09:28:58 AM

99.998er: This is exactly why I always give the gift of a 3-stroke diesel powered 6 HP engine to my girlfriends.


Three strokes? And they aren't disappointed?
 
2013-06-11 09:43:06 AM

funzyr: 99.998er: This is exactly why I always give the gift of a 3-stroke diesel powered 6 HP engine to my girlfriends.

Three strokes? And they aren't disappointed?


Being that they either are or were girlfriends, I do not want to give the illusion that a machine can out-perform me.
 
2013-06-11 09:44:32 AM
"There were fissures and chasms in the walls and floor, and every now and then a crack would open right before their feet. The widest was more than seven feet across, and it was long before Pippin could summon enough courage to leap over the dreadful gap."
 
2013-06-11 10:09:24 AM
"NSFW - and the last letter doesn't stand for working."

Not Safe For Working? WTF would that even mean? What does the W stand for then? Women? Wahoo? Whoopie? Wiggling?
 
2013-06-11 10:15:16 AM
" the Ultimate O comes in pink and looks like a set of cow udders, or perhaps a rubber glove designed for three-fingered dishwashers."

Now I'm even more confused. How does a pink set of cow udders have anything to do with the Eye of Sauron?
 
2013-06-11 10:15:23 AM

Moosecakes: "NSFW - and the last letter doesn't stand for working."

Not Safe For Working? WTF would that even mean? What does the W stand for then? Women? Wahoo? Whoopie? Wiggling?


hallWAy.
 
2013-06-11 10:20:30 AM

99.998er: This is exactly why I always give the gift of a 3-stroke diesel powered 6 HP engine to my girlfriends.


Eurotrip vibrator?
 
2013-06-11 10:23:28 AM

Moosecakes: "NSFW - and the last letter doesn't stand for working."

Not Safe For Working? WTF would that even mean? What does the W stand for then? Women? Wahoo? Whoopie? Wiggling?


WANKING
 
2013-06-11 10:23:30 AM
You can keep your fancy toys
You can pile them by the wagon
But the only vibe for the brave and truuuuuueeee......
Is the One-Eyed Dragon!
 
2013-06-11 10:26:59 AM
fark.

So...so do get a refund? Do send it back?

/scared to RTFA
 
2013-06-11 10:27:34 AM
*do I
 
2013-06-11 10:37:50 AM
*looks at device*

What a bummer for all the farkettes out there who are into tentacle pron, huh?
 
2013-06-11 10:47:56 AM
Reminiscent of the Shocker.
 
2013-06-11 10:47:56 AM

poot_rootbeer: Dildo Baggins


To judge from the first five posts, this thread does not disappoint...unlike Aragon who never mastered Elven foreplay.
 
2013-06-11 10:50:29 AM

IdBeCrazyIf: Great, now I have hundreds of quotes from the movie and I'm sexualizing them

"A wizard is never late to cum, Frodo Baggins. Nor is he early. He finishes precisely when he means to. "

"Even the smallest orgasm can change the course of the future"

"The clit has awoken, it's heard its masters call"

"The clit.....The one place in Middle-Earth we don't want to see any closer. And it's the one place we're trying to get to. It's just where we can't get. Let's face it, Mr. Frodo, we're lost "


There's plenty of kinky quotes in the books, too:

Galadriel: "It said that the skill of the dwarves is in their hands rather than in their tongues, yet that is not true of Gimli."

Legolas:  "Yet you comfort me, Gimli, and I am glad to have you standing nigh with your stout legs and hard axe."

"Then Pippin, who sat in the front of the boat gazing backwards, saw a queer gleam in [Boromir's] eyes as he peered forward gazing at Frodo."
 
2013-06-11 11:05:47 AM
Pippin: What's that?
Merry: This, my friend, is a pint.
Pippin: It comes in pints?
 
2013-06-11 11:14:25 AM
The Hobbits are cumming in Isengard!
The Hobbits are cumming in Isengard!
In Isengard!
In Isnegard!
The Hobbits are cumming in Isengard!
 
2013-06-11 11:45:38 AM
More toys for whores.  If they get electrocuted is serves them right for acting like an animal in rut.
 
2013-06-11 11:54:24 AM
Do you really need a vibrator that plugs into the wall?
 
2013-06-11 11:54:33 AM
Knobbit.
 
2013-06-11 11:58:28 AM
Theres an epic "summarize your sex life with a Star Wars" thread that reminds me of this. Thread 2732770. Pretty funny if youre bored.

/You came in *that* thing? You must be braver than I thought
//or... Judge me by my *size* do you? Hmmph.
///Get in there you big hairy oaf! I dont care what you smell!
 
2013-06-11 12:03:33 PM
It looks more like Orthanc to me.
 
2013-06-11 01:22:23 PM
Seems more like an advert than a recall actually.
 
2013-06-11 01:28:09 PM

99.998er: This is exactly why I always give the gift of a 3-stroke diesel powered 6 HP engine to my girlfriends.


3-stroke?!?!?
Is it a Wankel?
 
2013-06-11 01:28:52 PM
You may lose out on the pain/pleasure privileges from this toy, but where there's a whip, there's a way!
 
2013-06-11 01:40:09 PM

scrumpox: 99.998er: This is exactly why I always give the gift of a 3-stroke diesel powered 6 HP engine to my girlfriends.

3-stroke?!?!?
Is it a Wankel?


Cummin.
 
2013-06-11 03:36:42 PM
"....the Ultimate O appears to have been inspired by Tolkien architecture from the upper slopes of Mordor."

"....But Gollum! and the evil one! crept up and slipped away with her! Her! Her!....yeah!"

n2.9cloud.us
 
2013-06-11 06:56:26 PM

Russ1642: Do you really need a vibrator that plugs into the wall?


You can "build a house" a lot faster with a nail gun than a hammer...
 
2013-06-11 08:18:52 PM

poot_rootbeer: Dildo Baggins


No no, it's Dildo Bugger.

/surely Bored of the Rings isn't obscure?
 
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