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(Jalopnik)   Let's ride along with wannabe Speed Racer as he learns a valuable lesson about understeer -- and drives his BMW right off the edge of a cliff   (jalopnik.com ) divider line
    More: Dumbass, BMW, lessons  
•       •       •

18820 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Jun 2013 at 8:07 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-06-10 08:27:44 PM  
12 votes:

Benjimin_Dover: Here's a tip: Stop crossing double yellows

Spoken by somebody who doesn't understand how to hit the apex of a curve.


Spoken by somebody who doesn't understand that public streets are not race tracks.
2013-06-10 08:54:49 PM  
5 votes:
On the plus side GoPro makes on hell of a camera mount.
2013-06-10 11:34:33 PM  
3 votes:

TheWizard: Al!: mxstone: Benjimin_Dover: Here's a tip: Stop crossing double yellows

Spoken by somebody who doesn't understand how to hit the apex of a curve.

Others have mentioned it but I'll pile on. As someone who routinely goes batshiat fast on twisty PUBLIC roads, That yellow line is your apex. Respect it and you won't do dumb shiat like this douchy farker.

Sort of THIS.  I used to drive like an idiot when I was younger.  I describe it as such because that is a factual and accurate description of what it is to drive 2-3x the speed limit on a public road.  Treat the yellow line as a giant brick wall and you're not very likely to end up in a ditch or off of a cliff.  My recommendation?  Keep your speeding to 10 mph over the limit and get real friendly with your neighborhood racetrack owner/operator.  I hit a deer while I was cruising at about 125 mph in my '89 Jaguar XJS on a public road.  I came up over a small rise in the road and it was just hanging out there in my lane.  Had it been a kid, I would be typing this from a prison library somewhere, even though the incident was almost 10 years ago.  The deer splattered all over the inside of the back window and nearly put us into a telephone pole at over 100 mph, as I couldn't see where I was going with doe-guts all in my eyes, mouth and nose.  You can factor for everything except bad luck.  Bad luck catches up to everyone who pushes their luck too often.

The road past my house has been featured as one of the best drives in the country.  The speed limit on it is 45MPH.

I can tell you as a twisty-turny-speedy road junkie... that limit is WAY to high for both the road, and the people on the road.  The road is one of the older roads in the US and meanders along a river.   The road is lined on one side by sycamore trees, and on the other by 6' earthen bank or 200 year old oak trees.  The result is that you can't see far enough ahead for your brakes to stop you should you encounter a cyclist, stopped car (people stopping to p ...


Maybe if the government stopped putting insanely low speed limits on full-visibility flat highways people would actually pay attention to speed limits.
2013-06-10 09:24:05 PM  
3 votes:

Benjimin_Dover: Here's a tip: Stop crossing double yellows

Spoken by somebody who doesn't understand how to hit the apex of a curve.


Spoken by someone who has yet to encounter oncoming traffic.
2013-06-10 09:16:22 PM  
3 votes:

FormlessOne: lohphat: Benjimin_Dover: Here's a tip: Stop crossing double yellows

Spoken by somebody who doesn't understand how to hit the apex of a curve ON A RACE TRACK.

The public roads aren't a private track to "hit the apex of a curve".

Bingo. We have two assholes who think reckless driving can be rationalized because they did so on little-used back roads. Never mind the fact that one of the assholes can't drive, it's the sheer stupidity of assholes like this that kill so many innocent people in head-on collisions because they weren't "expecting" oncoming traffic, pedestrians, animals, parked vehicles, etc.

Want to drive fast? Go to a friggin' track.


Amen.   I've owned some fast cars, and can drive a proper line smoothly without crossing double yellows... but the fun in racing on public roads went away for good after a single weekend on an actual track.  You can get SO much closer to the limit on a track, and get SO much more out of your car, SO consistently... that going back to the road makes you realize what I dweebish thing it is to feel like you're driving fast when you really aren't.

It's not hard to find a track with "driver education" or "car control" or "time trial" weekends, where they'll let most folks on (for a few hundred bucks) after a mild tech inspection.  If you actually want to drive well (smooth, fast, safe, and right at the limit) that's the place for it... not posing on public roads, waiting to take out a cyclist or vanful of kids.
2013-06-10 08:41:55 PM  
3 votes:

Benjimin_Dover: Here's a tip: Stop crossing double yellows

Spoken by somebody who doesn't understand how to hit the apex of a curve.


Others have mentioned it but I'll pile on. As someone who routinely goes batshiat fast on twisty PUBLIC roads, That yellow line is your apex. Respect it and you won't do dumb shiat like this douchy farker.
2013-06-10 08:34:03 PM  
3 votes:

lohphat: Benjimin_Dover: Here's a tip: Stop crossing double yellows

Spoken by somebody who doesn't understand how to hit the apex of a curve ON A RACE TRACK.

The public roads aren't a private track to "hit the apex of a curve".


Bingo. We have two assholes who think reckless driving can be rationalized because they did so on little-used back roads. Never mind the fact that one of the assholes can't drive, it's the sheer stupidity of assholes like this that kill so many innocent people in head-on collisions because they weren't "expecting" oncoming traffic, pedestrians, animals, parked vehicles, etc.

Want to drive fast? Go to a friggin' track.
2013-06-10 08:28:13 PM  
3 votes:

Benjimin_Dover: Here's a tip: Stop crossing double yellows

Spoken by somebody who doesn't understand how to hit the apex of a curve ON A RACE TRACK.


The public roads aren't a private track to "hit the apex of a curve".
2013-06-10 08:27:46 PM  
3 votes:
Benjimin_Dover: Spoken by somebody who doesn't understand how to hit the apex of a curve.

I don't think this is a rally.

Oncoming traffic is just asking for trouble.

You can still go plenty fast and maintain your lane, and as an added bonus, you stay on the road.
2013-06-10 08:25:29 PM  
3 votes:
t0.gstatic.com
2013-06-10 08:17:33 PM  
3 votes:
Anyone else very, very disappointed Darwin was cheated?
2013-06-10 09:54:46 PM  
2 votes:

Mister Peejay: /still DWTFV because not clicking Jalopnik


Direct YouTube link here.
2013-06-10 09:50:16 PM  
2 votes:
Decreasing radius turns get you everytime.
Al!
2013-06-10 09:20:45 PM  
2 votes:

mxstone: Benjimin_Dover: Here's a tip: Stop crossing double yellows

Spoken by somebody who doesn't understand how to hit the apex of a curve.

Others have mentioned it but I'll pile on. As someone who routinely goes batshiat fast on twisty PUBLIC roads, That yellow line is your apex. Respect it and you won't do dumb shiat like this douchy farker.


Sort of THIS.  I used to drive like an idiot when I was younger.  I describe it as such because that is a factual and accurate description of what it is to drive 2-3x the speed limit on a public road.  Treat the yellow line as a giant brick wall and you're not very likely to end up in a ditch or off of a cliff.  My recommendation?  Keep your speeding to 10 mph over the limit and get real friendly with your neighborhood racetrack owner/operator.  I hit a deer while I was cruising at about 125 mph in my '89 Jaguar XJS on a public road.  I came up over a small rise in the road and it was just hanging out there in my lane.  Had it been a kid, I would be typing this from a prison library somewhere, even though the incident was almost 10 years ago.  The deer splattered all over the inside of the back window and nearly put us into a telephone pole at over 100 mph, as I couldn't see where I was going with doe-guts all in my eyes, mouth and nose.  You can factor for everything except bad luck.  Bad luck catches up to everyone who pushes their luck too often.
2013-06-10 09:11:52 PM  
2 votes:
Enter slow, power out and you'll last longer. You can drive like that also.
2013-06-10 09:07:08 PM  
2 votes:
At Summit Point Raceway, the instructors will tell you two things about driving:

1) If a meteor falls out of the sky and crushes your car, it's an accident.
2) Everything else is driver error.
2013-06-10 09:04:52 PM  
2 votes:
fubegra.net
2013-06-10 08:42:41 PM  
2 votes:
I like how he turns harder to the right after the front wheels start to understeer.
2013-06-10 08:34:50 PM  
2 votes:

Benjimin_Dover: Spoken by somebody who doesn't understand how to hit the apex of a curve.


Written by someone who doesn't understand what a double yellow means, apparently. It means NOT YOUR FARKING SIDE OF THE ROAD, DUMBASS. often that double yellow signifies a blind hill or curve.i
Apexing on a closed course is fine. Apexing on a twisty two-lane public road is is considered an "improper lane change" at best, more likely "street racing" or "reckless driving".
/"criminal negligence or "vehicular manslaughter" may also apply, should one meet an oncoming car
2013-06-10 08:16:26 PM  
2 votes:
The insurance company will appreciate the video.
2013-06-10 08:14:53 PM  
2 votes:
That'll buff right out.
2013-06-10 08:12:38 PM  
2 votes:
I'd like to thank that guy for the entertainment. I think $70k is a bit pricey for 30 seconds of my time but hey, who am I to judge?
2013-06-10 07:26:31 PM  
2 votes:
He wasn't trying to be Speed, he was trying to be part of the Car Acrobatic Team
encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com
2013-06-10 11:05:09 PM  
1 vote:
While it wasn't caught on video, a few months ago I was touring in the Mediterranean; a couple of Germans were riding their motorcycles in a similar fashion along the coast of Greece. Unfortunately for one of the guys, who pushed too far into a blind, cliff-side corner. The tour bus I was riding in was coming in the opposite direction. The guy tried to swerve around the far side of the bus, but it was too late.

fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.net

fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net

The motorcyclist had on a full face helmet and full leathers - and both of the vehicles had slowed quite a bit before the impact. The motorcyclist survived for about 30 minutes after the impact, but died before medical help arrived. The police didn't even arrive on the scene until about 50 minutes after the accident.

Racing around blind corners, on public roads, is a very, very dumb idea. I'm amazed the article's BMW driver didn't kill someone else on the road.
2013-06-10 10:56:38 PM  
1 vote:
Canyon Lake, AZ state route 88.

Lat :  33.540575
Lon: -111.442986
(approx, Google doesn't like Mozilla)

This is one of the heaviest-used recreation areas in the state.  Idiots were racing straight into the campground / marina areas.

/Too bad about your car, brah.  Hey now we know where you assholes race.
2013-06-10 10:04:07 PM  
1 vote:
I hate this "drifting" assholes.  They kill motorcyclists all the time.
2013-06-10 09:41:55 PM  
1 vote:

Al!: mxstone: Benjimin_Dover: Here's a tip: Stop crossing double yellows

Spoken by somebody who doesn't understand how to hit the apex of a curve.

Others have mentioned it but I'll pile on. As someone who routinely goes batshiat fast on twisty PUBLIC roads, That yellow line is your apex. Respect it and you won't do dumb shiat like this douchy farker.

Sort of THIS.  I used to drive like an idiot when I was younger.  I describe it as such because that is a factual and accurate description of what it is to drive 2-3x the speed limit on a public road.  Treat the yellow line as a giant brick wall and you're not very likely to end up in a ditch or off of a cliff.  My recommendation?  Keep your speeding to 10 mph over the limit and get real friendly with your neighborhood racetrack owner/operator.  I hit a deer while I was cruising at about 125 mph in my '89 Jaguar XJS on a public road.  I came up over a small rise in the road and it was just hanging out there in my lane.  Had it been a kid, I would be typing this from a prison library somewhere, even though the incident was almost 10 years ago.  The deer splattered all over the inside of the back window and nearly put us into a telephone pole at over 100 mph, as I couldn't see where I was going with doe-guts all in my eyes, mouth and nose.  You can factor for everything except bad luck.  Bad luck catches up to everyone who pushes their luck too often.


The road past my house has been featured as one of the best drives in the country.  The speed limit on it is 45MPH.

I can tell you as a twisty-turny-speedy road junkie... that limit is WAY to high for both the road, and the people on the road.  The road is one of the older roads in the US and meanders along a river.   The road is lined on one side by sycamore trees, and on the other by 6' earthen bank or 200 year old oak trees.  The result is that you can't see far enough ahead for your brakes to stop you should you encounter a cyclist, stopped car (people stopping to pick up kayakers, etc), deer, or just another car taking in the scenery at 25mph.

The curves on the road make traversing at 45mph risky enough, toss in some leaf litter and rain and you could easily lose control.

I regularly see people doing 60MPH+ on the road, I have no idea how there aren't more deadly collisions.
2013-06-10 09:24:41 PM  
1 vote:

Benjimin_Dover: Here's a tip: Stop crossing double yellows

Spoken by somebody who doesn't understand how to hit the apex of a curve.


If it was a closed course then your point would be valid.  But on a public road where someone could be coming the other way, well, take your apex of a curve and shove it up your arse.
2013-06-10 09:21:27 PM  
1 vote:

Mr. Eugenides: I like how he turns harder to the right after the front wheels start to understeer.


Well if too much don't work, then a little more should do the trick, right?

And people wonder why cars have to have stability control now.  People are idiots.

Something something Ultimate Parking Machine, something something E30s were best BMWs ever, something something oversteer scares passengers but understeer scares drivers.
2013-06-10 09:19:26 PM  
1 vote:
Here's a tip: Stop crossing double yellows

Spoken by somebody who doesn't understand how to hit the apex of a curve.


Spoken by someone who doesn't understand that, on a public road, the apex of a corner with double yellows is on your side of the double yellow.   It's not only safer, but more challenging as any incompetent idiot can drive a twisty road fast if they ignore the lane markings.
2013-06-10 09:18:43 PM  
1 vote:
Is anybody else kinda bummed out that he lived?
It may have spared some decent human lives in the future if he hadn't survived this round of douchiness.
2013-06-10 09:18:15 PM  
1 vote:

Benjimin_Dover: Here's a tip: Stop crossing double yellows

Spoken by somebody who doesn't understand how to hit the apex of a curve.


Spoken by somebody who doesn't understand the concept of not crossing double yellows.

/see the double yellow?  your road ends there.  that's your maximum in- or out-point, not the dirt in the oncoming lane
2013-06-10 09:08:45 PM  
1 vote:
Relax, all right? My old man is a television repairman, he's got this ultimate set of tools. I can fix it.
2013-06-10 08:51:24 PM  
1 vote:
What a waste of a fabulous car. Douche bag.
2013-06-10 08:47:23 PM  
1 vote:
Absolutely awesome video!  I have not laughed this hard in a long time.
2013-06-10 08:47:08 PM  
1 vote:

ComicBookGuy: Anyone else very, very disappointed Darwin was cheated?


i am. Better he offs himself before he kills someone else.

Benjimin_Dover: Here's a tip: Stop crossing double yellows

Spoken by somebody who doesn't understand how to hit the apex of a curve.


Go to bed, junior.
2013-06-10 08:46:22 PM  
1 vote:
A true BMW owner would've cut off that other driver.
2013-06-10 08:43:07 PM  
1 vote:
What happened to him? Did he walk? die, severely injured etc?
That doesn't seem like the kind of crash one walks away from with just bruises.
2013-06-10 08:37:01 PM  
1 vote:
Jimmy Durante kicks the bucket
www.cinemassacre.com
2013-06-10 08:26:24 PM  
1 vote:

Erix: So why did his side airbag go off before he impacted anything?  I mean, it looks like it certainly did its job, but do they just go off if the car tilts to the side over a certain amount, or what?


Erix: So why did his side airbag go off before he impacted anything?  I mean, it looks like it certainly did its job, but do they just go off if the car tilts to the side over a certain amount, or what?


They go off in close proximity to a skills-deficient dickwad.
2013-06-10 08:21:50 PM  
1 vote:
clatl.com
2013-06-10 08:19:21 PM  
1 vote:
2.bp.blogspot.com
2013-06-10 08:19:21 PM  
1 vote:
I must say... that sure is a durable camera.
2013-06-10 08:18:23 PM  
1 vote:
He had to get back to Dancecentrum in Stuttgart in time to see Kraftwerk.
2013-06-10 08:18:19 PM  
1 vote:

ComicBookGuy: Anyone else very, very disappointed Darwin was cheated?


I was actually sort of proud of the moron for not screaming like a girl.


/I would have
2013-06-10 08:17:21 PM  
1 vote:
The worst part of this video is that you don't see the severed head of this guy bouncing away from the wreckage. Also, Lou Ferrigno doesn't appear, painted like the hulk to repeatedly punch him in the genitals until he dies.

I kind of picture that whenever some asshole BMW driver is being an asshole BMW driver, which is always.
2013-06-10 08:15:01 PM  
1 vote:
Opposite of a BMW.

cdn2.arkive.org
2013-06-10 08:14:42 PM  
1 vote:
The real Speed Racer had the wherewithal to engage his jumpjacks and tire crampons when he drove off a cliff. This guy is just a poser...
2013-06-10 07:54:48 PM  
1 vote:
Christ, what an asshole. I'm sure Daddy will buy him a new one tho.
 
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