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(Jalopnik)   Let's ride along with wannabe Speed Racer as he learns a valuable lesson about understeer -- and drives his BMW right off the edge of a cliff   (jalopnik.com) divider line 226
    More: Dumbass, BMW, lessons  
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18789 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Jun 2013 at 8:07 PM (44 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



226 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-06-10 07:21:47 PM
ha-HAA!
 
2013-06-10 07:26:31 PM
He wasn't trying to be Speed, he was trying to be part of the Car Acrobatic Team
encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com
 
2013-06-10 07:52:11 PM
No, Speed Racer, no!
 
2013-06-10 07:54:48 PM
Christ, what an asshole. I'm sure Daddy will buy him a new one tho.
 
2013-06-10 08:10:25 PM
Couldn't have happened to a douchier car.
 
2013-06-10 08:12:38 PM
I'd like to thank that guy for the entertainment. I think $70k is a bit pricey for 30 seconds of my time but hey, who am I to judge?
 
2013-06-10 08:13:27 PM
What kind of car was it kicking his ass?
 
2013-06-10 08:13:50 PM
I did stupid shiat as young driver...  but never anything THIS stupid.

//no one ever got hurt during any of my shenanigans, thank god.
//now a mature, careful driver.
 
2013-06-10 08:14:42 PM
The real Speed Racer had the wherewithal to engage his jumpjacks and tire crampons when he drove off a cliff. This guy is just a poser...
 
2013-06-10 08:14:53 PM
That'll buff right out.
 
2013-06-10 08:14:59 PM
Well apparently my day wasn't so bad after all.
 
2013-06-10 08:15:01 PM
Opposite of a BMW.

cdn2.arkive.org
 
2013-06-10 08:15:35 PM

JustHereForThePics: I did stupid shiat as young driver...  but never anything THIS stupid.

//no one ever got hurt during any of my shenanigans, thank god.
//now a mature, careful driver.


Fortunately, when I was a young driver I had an '86 Cavalier which wasn't fast enough to kill me.
 
2013-06-10 08:15:51 PM

The Muthaship: What kind of car was it kicking his ass?


Looks like another, older BMW to me, but it's hard to tell. If you watch the video the first car almost loses it in the very first corner so I don't know that "kicking his ass" is the right way to phrase it. "Getting luckier for longer" might be better.
 
2013-06-10 08:16:26 PM
The insurance company will appreciate the video.
 
2013-06-10 08:16:37 PM
BMW Break My Window. And frame, and interior.
 
2013-06-10 08:17:11 PM

A Shambling Mound: The Muthaship: What kind of car was it kicking his ass?

Looks like another, older BMW to me, but it's hard to tell. If you watch the video the first car almost loses it in the very first corner so I don't know that "kicking his ass" is the right way to phrase it. "Getting luckier for longer" might be better.


Good point!  But, being a little more aggressive in a curve not located on a cliff is more forgivable than what M3 Boy did.
 
2013-06-10 08:17:21 PM
The worst part of this video is that you don't see the severed head of this guy bouncing away from the wreckage. Also, Lou Ferrigno doesn't appear, painted like the hulk to repeatedly punch him in the genitals until he dies.

I kind of picture that whenever some asshole BMW driver is being an asshole BMW driver, which is always.
 
2013-06-10 08:17:33 PM
Anyone else very, very disappointed Darwin was cheated?
 
2013-06-10 08:17:37 PM
I've owned a BMW for many years.  Never tumbled it off the cliff, tho.  But then I'm no fun at parties.
Damn, I LOL'd.
 
2013-06-10 08:18:19 PM

ComicBookGuy: Anyone else very, very disappointed Darwin was cheated?


I was actually sort of proud of the moron for not screaming like a girl.


/I would have
 
2013-06-10 08:18:23 PM
He had to get back to Dancecentrum in Stuttgart in time to see Kraftwerk.
 
2013-06-10 08:19:21 PM
I must say... that sure is a durable camera.
 
2013-06-10 08:19:21 PM
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-06-10 08:19:33 PM

The Muthaship: ComicBookGuy: Anyone else very, very disappointed Darwin was cheated?

I was actually sort of proud of the moron for not screaming like a girl.


/I would have


===============

Maybe the GoPro went into his mouth?
 
2013-06-10 08:19:58 PM
This is why if I ever feel the need for speed, I just load up a little racing game simulator on my PC and play there. At least if I crash, I don't die or I don't have to pay for lots of stuff.

Playing racing game simulations also taught me about how dangerous turns and curves can be especially if you're accelerating.

At least he didn't end up in a gore site like theync.
 
2013-06-10 08:20:07 PM

neongoats: Also, Lou Ferrigno doesn't appear, painted like the hulk to repeatedly punch him in the genitals until he dies.


PUNY CAR!  PUNY CAR!  PUNY CAR!!!
 
2013-06-10 08:20:09 PM

neongoats: The worst part of this video is that you don't see the severed head of this guy bouncing away from the wreckage. Also, Lou Ferrigno doesn't appear, painted like the hulk to repeatedly punch him in the genitals until he dies.

I kind of picture that whenever some asshole BMW driver is being an asshole BMW driver, which is always.


So what kind of BMW do you drive.
 
2013-06-10 08:21:33 PM
Driving too fast to maintain your lane == no safety net when you need it.
 
2013-06-10 08:21:50 PM
clatl.com
 
2013-06-10 08:21:51 PM
Here's a tip: Stop crossing double yellows

Spoken by somebody who doesn't understand how to hit the apex of a curve.
 
2013-06-10 08:23:33 PM
I just HATE when I run out of talent .....
 
2013-06-10 08:23:37 PM
So why did his side airbag go off before he impacted anything?  I mean, it looks like it certainly did its job, but do they just go off if the car tilts to the side over a certain amount, or what?
 
2013-06-10 08:25:29 PM
t0.gstatic.com
 
2013-06-10 08:26:24 PM

Erix: So why did his side airbag go off before he impacted anything?  I mean, it looks like it certainly did its job, but do they just go off if the car tilts to the side over a certain amount, or what?


Erix: So why did his side airbag go off before he impacted anything?  I mean, it looks like it certainly did its job, but do they just go off if the car tilts to the side over a certain amount, or what?


They go off in close proximity to a skills-deficient dickwad.
 
2013-06-10 08:27:44 PM

Benjimin_Dover: Here's a tip: Stop crossing double yellows

Spoken by somebody who doesn't understand how to hit the apex of a curve.


Spoken by somebody who doesn't understand that public streets are not race tracks.
 
2013-06-10 08:27:46 PM
Benjimin_Dover: Spoken by somebody who doesn't understand how to hit the apex of a curve.

I don't think this is a rally.

Oncoming traffic is just asking for trouble.

You can still go plenty fast and maintain your lane, and as an added bonus, you stay on the road.
 
2013-06-10 08:28:13 PM

Benjimin_Dover: Here's a tip: Stop crossing double yellows

Spoken by somebody who doesn't understand how to hit the apex of a curve ON A RACE TRACK.


The public roads aren't a private track to "hit the apex of a curve".
 
2013-06-10 08:29:10 PM
No thanks subby, I'd prefer not for his next inevitable lesson.
 
2013-06-10 08:30:34 PM
That cliff totally jumped out in front of him
 
2013-06-10 08:31:14 PM

Erix: So why did his side airbag go off before he impacted anything?  I mean, it looks like it certainly did its job, but do they just go off if the car tilts to the side over a certain amount, or what?


That airbag has been waiting for that moment since the day dad handed the keys to farkwit.

It wasn't a matter of if, but when.
 
2013-06-10 08:31:16 PM

A Shambling Mound: The Muthaship: What kind of car was it kicking his ass?

Looks like another, older BMW to me, but it's hard to tell. If you watch the video the first car almost loses it in the very first corner so I don't know that "kicking his ass" is the right way to phrase it. "Getting luckier for longer" might be better.



might also have simply had a more experienced-- or simply better- driver in that first car.
 
2013-06-10 08:31:27 PM
My dad has tools. We can fix it.
 
2013-06-10 08:31:32 PM
who is that proud of being a downright shiatty driver they want brag about it on video?

That was awfulness; spent more time riding tbe brakes than your mom spent riding my dick.
 
2013-06-10 08:33:55 PM

Benjimin_Dover: Here's a tip: Stop crossing double yellows

Spoken by somebody who doesn't understand how to hit the apex of a curve.


In all fairness, the guy in the video want doing so well with the apexes either.

Though there is a point...on roads where there may be oncoming traffic, stay in your lane. At least the only car wrecked was his.
 
2013-06-10 08:34:03 PM

lohphat: Benjimin_Dover: Here's a tip: Stop crossing double yellows

Spoken by somebody who doesn't understand how to hit the apex of a curve ON A RACE TRACK.

The public roads aren't a private track to "hit the apex of a curve".


Bingo. We have two assholes who think reckless driving can be rationalized because they did so on little-used back roads. Never mind the fact that one of the assholes can't drive, it's the sheer stupidity of assholes like this that kill so many innocent people in head-on collisions because they weren't "expecting" oncoming traffic, pedestrians, animals, parked vehicles, etc.

Want to drive fast? Go to a friggin' track.
 
2013-06-10 08:34:50 PM

Benjimin_Dover: Spoken by somebody who doesn't understand how to hit the apex of a curve.


Written by someone who doesn't understand what a double yellow means, apparently. It means NOT YOUR FARKING SIDE OF THE ROAD, DUMBASS. often that double yellow signifies a blind hill or curve.i
Apexing on a closed course is fine. Apexing on a twisty two-lane public road is is considered an "improper lane change" at best, more likely "street racing" or "reckless driving".
/"criminal negligence or "vehicular manslaughter" may also apply, should one meet an oncoming car
 
2013-06-10 08:34:52 PM
I'm speed racer and I drive real fast
He's speed racer and he drives real fast
I drive real fast, I'm gonna last

I'm a big pirate and I like to steal
He's a big pirate and he likes to steal
I like to steal and I like to kill

Go, go, go speed racer

I'm a barbie doll, but I got brains
She's a barbie doll, but she's got brains
I've got brains and I like sex
Lots of brains and she likes sex

I'm your doctor and here's the bill
He's your doctor and here's the bill
Doctor steel and here's the bill
He likes to steal, so here's your bill

I'm speed racer and I drive real fast
I'm a big pirate and I like to steal
I'm a barbie doll, but I got brains
I'm your doctor and here's the bill

I drive real fast, I'm gonna last
I like to drink and I like to kill
Lots of brains and I like sex
Like to steal, here's your bill
 
2013-06-10 08:35:51 PM
Benjimin_Dover: Spoken by somebody who doesn't understand how to hit the apex of a curve.

On a second rewatch, he'shiatting the apex of jack and shiat and is just wavering around on the road even in fairly straight sections.

Erix: So why did his side airbag go off before he impacted anything?

On a second rewatch, he shears a signpost in the front, and his front driver side tire hits a raised portion of rocks.
 
2013-06-10 08:37:01 PM
Jimmy Durante kicks the bucket
www.cinemassacre.com
 
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