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(CBS Sports)   Tim Tebow to serve as backup for God   (cbssports.com) divider line 234
    More: Obvious, Tim Tebow, gods, Patriots, Ed Werder, single player, necessarily true, CBSSports.com's Mike Freeman, Bill Belichick  
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1891 clicks; posted to Sports » on 10 Jun 2013 at 6:26 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-06-10 07:06:22 PM

mjohnson71: buckeyebrain: In other news, jizz moppers from all over the country are being dispatched to Bristol, CT in much the same fashion as firefighters that are called in during a disaster.

http://www.servpro.com/

Has ESPN announced which single 30 minute segment of the day will be left Tebow-free? Or will it just be Tebow 24/7 for the next few months?


TSPN. All Tebow, All The Time.
 
2013-06-10 07:07:07 PM

ariseatex: varmitydog: So now Rob Gronkowski is going to have to put up or shut up. Link Or is that put out or shut up? Maybe put out or get out?

Trust me, getting two bottoms together doesn't work.


Snert
 
2013-06-10 07:08:09 PM

Dinobot: Captain Steroid: Dinobot: That said, it would be loltastic if somehow Brady gets injured in the playoffs and Tim Tebow, as a backup, defeats the Denver Ponies.

[i1182.photobucket.com image 500x281]

As much as I love my Denver Ponies, I'd not mind John Elway eating some humble pie courtesy of a Tim Tebow-led Patriots, just for shiats and giggles.


I'd be selling pitchforks to the angry mob demanding Elway's head. :P
 
2013-06-10 07:10:29 PM

EyeballKid: And over in Stanford,
ESPN staffers say,
Skip Bayless's boner
Grew 3 sizes that day!


Full of win!
 
2013-06-10 07:13:20 PM
Now we get to see if he can catch.
 
2013-06-10 07:15:09 PM
Tebow just might get that Super Bowl ring after all . . . and what a glorious day it will be on Fark if he does.
 
2013-06-10 07:16:17 PM

Tom_Slick: jayhawk88: Do you get the feeling the only reason Hoodie did this, is so he can get Tebow a TD when the Pats play the Jets, and Rex will have to answer questions from the NY media about it for a week?

That would be Maximum Trolling, and I'm OK with that.


I, too, support this notion.
i624.photobucket.com
 
2013-06-10 07:17:49 PM
Tim Tebow = the next Matt Cassel?

/you gotta aim high, right?
 
2013-06-10 07:17:51 PM

chewielouie: Tebow just might get that Super Bowl ring after all . . . and what a glorious day it will be on Fark if he does.


Meh, Rob Johnson has a superbowl ring.  I think we're all used to undeserving individuals happening to be sitting on the right bench on the right year.
 
2013-06-10 07:19:15 PM

CavalierEternal: If Tom Brady is God, then what does that make Eli Manning?


Pontius Pilate?
 
2013-06-10 07:22:53 PM
Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha !
 
2013-06-10 07:23:41 PM
the Tom Trebow from The National Champion Crocodiles of The University of the Peninsular State Just Below Georgia?
 
2013-06-10 07:25:41 PM
As an Eagles fan, I'm ok with this.
Hey Bill, you want Vick too? He's yours. We'll even throw in a seventh... Make that sixth round pick if you'll take him off our hands.
 
2013-06-10 07:29:19 PM

buckeyebrain: Treygreen13: Dinobot: Klippoklondike: The Bestest: ariseatex: Captain Steroid: CavalierEternal: Di Atribe: the biggest redneck here: bongmiester: really? this one?


.
 
2013-06-10 07:30:00 PM
Gronk gets to fark Tebow now.
 
2013-06-10 07:33:21 PM

xaks: Tom_Slick: jayhawk88: Do you get the feeling the only reason Hoodie did this, is so he can get Tebow a TD when the Pats play the Jets, and Rex will have to answer questions from the NY media about it for a week?

That would be Maximum Trolling, and I'm OK with that.

I, too, support this notion.
[i624.photobucket.com image 389x205]


Same!
 
2013-06-10 07:35:18 PM

His unbelievably smarmy/shiatty personality aside, I'm okay with this, and I'm a Pats fan. We already know he'll do a great job kneeling down to hold the ball on extra points.

You have to feel bad for the guy he's replacing, though. Poor Mike Kafka. If only there were a word for situations where people, already marginalized by a cruel and capricious system, are powerless to prevent bad things from happening to them.

upload.wikimedia.org
R.I.P. MIKE KAFKA
 
2013-06-10 07:40:55 PM
New England:  The land just perfect for any kind of religious outcast
 
2013-06-10 07:41:04 PM

Betep: Gronk gets to fark Tebow now.


That's a clause in the contract. Every time Gronk farks him, he gets to do one press conference. Otherwise, media blackout.
 
2013-06-10 07:41:43 PM

semiotix: His unbelievably smarmy/shiatty personality aside, I'm okay with this, and I'm a Pats fan. We already know he'll do a great job kneeling down to hold the ball on extra points.

You have to feel bad for the guy he's replacing, though. Poor Mike Kafka. If only there were a word for situations where people, already marginalized by a cruel and capricious system, are powerless to prevent bad things from happening to them.

[upload.wikimedia.org image 200x267]
R.I.P. MIKE KAFKA


So THAT'S where Kafka went after the Eagles. I was wondering where he disappeared to.
 
2013-06-10 07:47:22 PM
By the gods.

Really, think about it.

Talk about the immovable object (Darth Hoodie's No Nonsense locker room) and the irresistable force...TimmaySprinkles and the BronieJesusBoys.

...

This could be...epic.
 
2013-06-10 07:50:19 PM
My old man is an ex-football player, not pro or anything, but he thinks Tebow would be better off as a fullback than QB. What do some of you think?
 
2013-06-10 07:50:36 PM

Paka Ono: Taking bets now, Tebow finishes the season as a TE, after Gronk has his 47th surgery on his forearm.


I can see this happening yeah....
 
2013-06-10 07:52:03 PM

OtherLittleGuy: buckeyebrain: Treygreen13: Dinobot: Klippoklondike: The Bestest: ariseatex: Captain Steroid: CavalierEternal: Di Atribe: the biggest redneck here: bongmiester: really? this one?

.


This

...?
 
2013-06-10 07:52:17 PM
Where's Bernard Pollard when you need him?
 
2013-06-10 07:53:50 PM

traxan: My old man is an ex-football player, not pro or anything, but he thinks Tebow would be better off as a fullback than QB. What do some of you think?


He'd be a splendid FB, he's built like a bull, strong, and has NO problem sticking his nose into a pile and initiating contact. Even more as a goof-play, FB/handoff/pass option kind of thing, really freeze the LBs.

... or maybe even TE. Not sure how well he can catch, but if he allies himself to blocking, he'd be swell on the end of a line.
 
2013-06-10 07:57:37 PM
fbcdn-sphotos-g-a.akamaihd.net
 
2013-06-10 07:58:19 PM

xaks: Tom_Slick: jayhawk88: Do you get the feeling the only reason Hoodie did this, is so he can get Tebow a TD when the Pats play the Jets, and Rex will have to answer questions from the NY media about it for a week?

That would be Maximum Trolling, and I'm OK with that.

I, too, support this notion.
[i624.photobucket.com image 389x205]


That'd be great...except that the NY coverage of it would bleed into ESPN/Boston sports media.  Hell, that could be my entire justification for disliking just about everything about Tebow.
 
2013-06-10 08:04:33 PM
I'm positive the Hoodie has some plan that does not involve Tebow under center.

FB / TE are the obvious ones; depends on whether Tebow's hands are as worthless as his arm, I suppose
 
2013-06-10 08:07:16 PM
The Dolphins should've picked him up.  If for no other reason than to make up for the awful new uniforms and logo.  At least he'd put butts in seats.  Not like they're going to win anything anyway.
 
2013-06-10 08:08:24 PM
What's the over/under on how long it takes Teblow being under Darth Hoodie to get busted doing lines off a hooker's ass in the back of a tattoo parlor while an illegal poker game is being played and hotel room keys are being bet?

How long before he goes to the Dark Side?
 
2013-06-10 08:10:20 PM

cetacei: The Dolphins should've picked him up.  If for no other reason than to make up for the awful new uniforms and logo.  At least he'd put butts in seats.  Not like they're going to win anything anyway.


I wouldn't count them out completely just yet. The only real challenge in the division is the Pats, otherwise its only the Bills and the J E S T. Don't forget, while Tannehill is no Aaron Rodgers, Joe Philbin was Green Bays OC and QC for a while and that offense lit up the scoreboard week in and week out.
 
2013-06-10 08:11:50 PM

Mercutio74: chewielouie: Tebow just might get that Super Bowl ring after all . . . and what a glorious day it will be on Fark if he does.

Meh, Rob Johnson has a superbowl ring.  I think we're all used to undeserving individuals happening to be sitting on the right bench on the right year.


No. I doubt Belichick is bringing him in to ride the bench. I'd wager he wants to see if he can effectively use Tebow, when the Jets couldn't. This could be fun to watch.
 
2013-06-10 08:12:50 PM
Here's the relevant quote:

Green Bay Packers
In 2003, Philbin joined the Green Bay Packers coaching staff. He spent nine years in Green Bay. During his tenure as offensive coordinator (2007-2011), the Packers offense ranked in the top 10 in the NFL for points scored and total yards every year, including their Super Bowl season.
 
2013-06-10 08:12:51 PM

chewielouie: No. I doubt Belichick is bringing him in to ride the bench. I'd wager he wants to see if he can effectively use Tebow, when the Jets couldn't. This could be fun to watch.


It kinda feels like cheating if you convert him to a position more suited to his talents.
 
2013-06-10 08:17:00 PM
cdn.jockular.com
 
2013-06-10 08:25:16 PM
lolololololololololololololol
 
2013-06-10 08:26:30 PM

jayhawk88: Do you get the feeling the only reason Hoodie did this, is so he can get Tebow a TD when the Pats play the Jets, and Rex will have to answer questions from the NY media about it for a week?


Sept. 12 (NFL Network) and Oct. 20. Too bad the games don't come later in the season.
 
2013-06-10 08:36:19 PM

Betep: Gronk gets to fark Tebow now.


Uh.  I'll be in my bunk.
 
2013-06-10 08:36:54 PM
This is brutal.  Things were finally calming down, it looked like the worst was behind us.  Now we have at least another 10 months of every other story in sports news being Tebow related.
 
2013-06-10 08:46:10 PM
I am interested in seeing what they signed him for.
Is he going to compete for the backup spot? Either actual competition, or just to give Mallett something to work against.
Are the pats looking to downgrade their backup and try to deal Mallett somewhere?
Does Belichek intend to try and change his position?

It isn't like they are really risking anything here. And unlike the Jets, they have a real quarterback to keep things from getting out of hand with him sitting on the bench. And they are certainly used to being at the centre of the media spotlight. So as much as it is an annoying move, I don't see any real downside for the Pats.
 
2013-06-10 08:47:28 PM

Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: This is brutal.  Things were finally calming down, it looked like the worst was behind us.  Now we have at least another 10 months of every other story in sports news being Tebow related.


Not necessarily.
If Belichick wants no media hype, I have to believe there won't be any.
 
2013-06-10 08:48:07 PM
GOOD, and maybe they will actually let him play rather that making him sit on the bench and watch the farking game. Asshats grabbed his contract just to bench him for the season, then complained when he didn't play up to their highly overinflated expectations.
 
2013-06-10 08:48:22 PM

traxan: My old man is an ex-football player, not pro or anything, but he thinks Tebow would be better off as a fullback than QB. What do some of you think?


Your dad is Al Bundy?
 
2013-06-10 08:51:01 PM
Tebow to New England? That's hilarious. You know what I want to see? I want to see Tom Brady get absolutely nuked, because then there are two possible outcomes:

1) Tebow has an epic season and in doing so completely destroys the legend of Tom Brady. Of course, that comes with a price since it enhances the legend of the Hoodie-Wearing Cheater (and how many titles has he won since that went down, anyway?), and who wants that?

2) Tebow is everything that people say he is and drags the Patsies down, down, down.

Either way we win, and since I kinda like Tebow against my better judgment I'll hope for the first outcome, but let's be honest, isn't the second one more likely?

But for any of this to happen it requires some serious Roughing-The-Brady, a call that comes when anyone gets within 5 yards of him and results in fines and suspensions, so we need someone to take one for the rest of us. Who will The Father send on behalf of his only begotten Son?
 
2013-06-10 08:51:52 PM
NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO
*barf*
NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO
 
2013-06-10 08:52:49 PM

CavalierEternal: If Tom Brady is God, then what does that make Eli Manning?


Peyton's little brother
 
2013-06-10 08:59:46 PM
Perfect fit
 
2013-06-10 09:15:51 PM
No. Tebow was handed the wrong script. He's supposed to fade into obscurity in the CFL.

I don't want to live in Bruins AND Te-Jesus country.
 
2013-06-10 09:21:06 PM
Someone should get him a house in Salem.
 
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