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(Fark)   Subby just looked out the window and saw a horse-drawn wagon carrying a dozen people from the assisted living facility down the street. What's the strangest thing you've seen today? LGN   (fark.com) divider line 165
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1217 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Jun 2013 at 4:11 PM (45 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-06-08 04:54:17 PM

Nothing today, but...

Earlier this week, while driving to work, I saw a guy with an "Ice, Ice Baby" era Vanilla Ice haircut.  He was crouched behind a Ford Mustang, and he was dry-humping the bumper while smacking it with his right hand (ala "smacking that ass").

I'm pretty sure it wasn't his first time doing this.

 
2013-06-08 04:54:39 PM
Although a flaming gay little person in a green leotard would've been better.

Crap, I think I know said midget.

I wonder if he remembers me?
 
2013-06-08 04:54:57 PM
While I was riding in a horse-drawn wagon with my friends from the assisted living facility, I looked up and saw some dude wanking the smallest penis I've ever seen.
 
2013-06-08 04:55:24 PM
As i was leaving the neighborhood to take my son to the park, we saw a turkey vulture eating a roadkill skunk.
Not especially unusual, except that this is in a residential neighborhood. Very exciting for the boy.
 
2013-06-08 04:57:09 PM

master_of_rayality: My 14-year-old son running ...

I dragged him to the track with me so he could get some exercise because--like most teenagers--he's in danger of permanently mind-melding with his laptop.

The annoying part is that he's thin as a rail and actually runs like a gazelle when he tries, while I'm tramping along like a farking water buffalo ...

/danged kids nowadays
//shakes fist


One day he will discover pu**y and will discover the value of having muscles. If he is 20 and still fused with his computer then you have a problem.
 
2013-06-08 04:59:43 PM

GreenSun: [www.markmaranga.com image 520x346]

I always wanted to ride one of those things. I wonder what PETA would think if this was available here in America?


Don't worry, PETA's already on it:  http://www.peta.org/issues/animals-in-entertainment/horse-drawn-carri a ges.aspx
 
2013-06-08 05:00:05 PM

Cheesehead_Dave: Not really strange, but kind of cool: The bubbler on my floor at work has been torn apart all week. It was finally back together today, but retrofit with a motion-activated spout for filling water bottles and a counter to show how many plastic bottles had been saved.


Good thing Fark greenlit the language maps article the other day. or I would have no idea WTF a bubbler was. Rock on with your crazy dialect, Wisconsin.
 
2013-06-08 05:00:28 PM
I saw a peanut stand,
heard a rubber band,
I saw a needle that winked it's eye.
but I think I will have seen everything
when I see an elephant fly.

I saw a front porch swing,
heard a diamond ring,
I saw a polka-dot railroad tie.
but I think I will have seen everything
when i see an elephant fly.

I seen a clothes horse, he r'ar up and buck
and they tell me a man made a vegetable truck
I didn't see that, I only heard
but just to be sociable, I'll take your word.

I heard a fireside chat,
I saw a baseball bat
and I just laughed till I thought I'd die.
but I'd been done seen about everything
when I see an elephant fly.
 
2013-06-08 05:00:41 PM
I saw a really enormous cricket in my basement. It was the size of the last joint of my thumb, had stripey legs and was tame enough to pick up. I thought he was a cicada at first, but it turns out he is a cave cricket.

I took him out to my garage, which has a lot of leaves and stuff near the edges of the garage door for him to eat (Wikipedia says they like organic material,) and will be darker once I get these new basement lights installed. Also, the six-year-old named him Captain Hoppity Stripeylegs, because that is how six-year-olds think, and she is presently chalking stripes on her tights and composing an interpretive dance about the life of the cave cricket people and culture in general. (Her dance teacher went on an Isadora Duncan kick last winter and we couldn't make the kid wear a scarf for love or money, so this is progress.)

Really, two weird things I saw today.
 
2013-06-08 05:01:55 PM
Pulled out of the drive to make a milk run and stopped to let an entire company of Hasidim pass in front of me on their way to Shule.

Damnedest thing is, had the same thing happen to me in Plano, Texas about the same time of year (June) 15 years ago, also while on a milk run.

Hope to be alive in another 15, in another state, just to see if it happens again.
 
2013-06-08 05:03:19 PM

il Dottore: A queen bumble bee and attached drone humping on my picnic table where I was trying to eat lunch.
Forty wild turkeys feeding through my yard with my cowardly cat hunched down in the midst of them trying to be invisible.


LOL! We have a flock of 7 wild turkeys that come through every other day or so and the 2 cats are fascinated/intimidated by them!
 
2013-06-08 05:04:32 PM

powhound: KopiLuwaked: I watched a car in El Salvador hydroplane into a mountain side totally farking it up!

That is one tough car!! Very strange indeed!


SheltemDragon: KopiLuwaked: I watched a car in El Salvador hydroplane into a mountain side totally farking it up!

How did the car end up? I assume it was ok if it farked up a mountain.

(Update) The mountain is about to lose its buttress, sad but really farked up when it's little hills showed up and started streaming until it turned into waterfalls. As for the Civic, it's administration just got revoked.

 
2013-06-08 05:05:01 PM
I saw a clown walking a dog. The dog looked like it was smiling, but was probably crying on the inside.
 
2013-06-08 05:05:55 PM
I saw a guy run from the room while puking during the standardized test I gave this morning. Not really strange but definitely memorable
 
2013-06-08 05:06:10 PM

crotchgrabber: I keep rewatching the security camera footage of a guy stealing scrap cast iron pipe and as he got one end onto the truck, the poop impacted in the pipe came loose and dumped all over his chest. JUSTICE! Stay away from our scrap!


skybird659: A white crow. Really! An albino crow that hangs with the other crows and crows back and forth and isn't a gull, dove or egret. Showed up 4 days ago, first time I heard it crow!
Sky Carmel Valley,
Calif.

Good day for bird watching around here. The valley must be warm. I'm in Monterey.


Warm wind, sunny skies, this is why I love the Valley!
Sky in the village
 
2013-06-08 05:06:49 PM
The tattoo women at the 2013 Stuttgart Area Army Ball.  Bonus:  The chick with red 7 inch hoe heels shaped as a  Six Gun revolver.

/true
 
2013-06-08 05:07:02 PM
A bunch of kids from an area high school promoting a mattress sale (a MATTRESS sale?), with one dressed as a mattress.

/but i've never seen a whale with a polka dot tail
 
2013-06-08 05:08:19 PM

MontanaDave: Cheesehead_Dave: Not really strange, but kind of cool: The bubbler on my floor at work has been torn apart all week. It was finally back together today, but retrofit with a motion-activated spout for filling water bottles and a counter to show how many plastic bottles had been saved.

Good thing Fark greenlit the language maps article the other day. or I would have no idea WTF a bubbler was. Rock on with your crazy dialect, Wisconsin.


Massachusetts also has bubblers.
 
2013-06-08 05:08:39 PM
Saw a 40-something man wearing bunny ears at the mall.
 
2013-06-08 05:09:56 PM

KopiLuwaked: powhound: KopiLuwaked: I watched a car in El Salvador hydroplane into a mountain side totally farking it up!

That is one tough car!! Very strange indeed!

SheltemDragon: KopiLuwaked: I watched a car in El Salvador hydroplane into a mountain side totally farking it up!

How did the car end up? I assume it was ok if it farked up a mountain.

(Update) The mountain is about to lose its buttress, sad but really farked up when it's little hills showed up and started streaming until it turned into waterfalls. As for the Civic, it's administration just got revoked.


I'll have to be sure to send the family a basket of Hopewells. I'd hate for the accident to erode their confidence in the world.
 
2013-06-08 05:12:51 PM
I took a nap and when I woke up my bathroom floor was gone.

Ok it's not that weird, since my bathroom's being renovated...but it is a little weird that the noise generated by tearing out a tile floor 10 feet from where I was sleeping didn't wake me up.
 
2013-06-08 05:13:15 PM
Hellen Keller doesn't approve this thread.

www.daveweinbaum.com
 
2013-06-08 05:14:02 PM
I live in Portland, Oregon...


/yes, I know I automatically win this thread
//what happens at Saturday Market... well, it doesn't stay there.
 
2013-06-08 05:17:39 PM
i42.tinypic.com
 
2013-06-08 05:20:00 PM
I saw Fark turn a little more into Reddit.
 
2013-06-08 05:23:18 PM

namegoeshere: MontanaDave: Cheesehead_Dave: Not really strange, but kind of cool: The bubbler on my floor at work has been torn apart all week. It was finally back together today, but retrofit with a motion-activated spout for filling water bottles and a counter to show how many plastic bottles had been saved.

Good thing Fark greenlit the language maps article the other day. or I would have no idea WTF a bubbler was. Rock on with your crazy dialect, Wisconsin.

Massachusetts also has bubblers.


I'd buy beers for all of you crazy variant English speakers. 

/often seen buying beers for random people
//working tonight, so don't bother begging
 
2013-06-08 05:25:10 PM
6 shoes, not pairs mind you, single shoes each stuffed with a pair of female knickers and next to them a gallon pickle jar with a child's doll floating in what appears to be urine (didn't investigate beyond looking)

Might have been an art project but, I would rather like to believe it was the best bachelorette party ever!
 
151
2013-06-08 05:25:15 PM
A cop, wearing a firefighter coat, getting dropped in a dunk tank by my four year old.

//presumably the only black cop in the department too...
 
2013-06-08 05:26:51 PM
About a half hour ago, I saw two fat slobs, sisters I think, rolling around on the sidewalk (Queen St., Toronto) punching each other and spitting on each other, to the delight of the gathering crowd. One of them pissed herself too.
 
2013-06-08 05:29:42 PM
A squirrel in the middle of the street alternately caressing its splattered partner and standing in Hemingway-like defiance against an onslaught of swerving minivan drivers.
 
2013-06-08 05:32:21 PM
Yammering_Splat_Vestor's 'shop on the Fluffy Bunny thread.

(I wonder what goes on in his crib after sindown)
 
2013-06-08 05:34:18 PM
Driving home from the grocery store about 20 minutes ago, there was crime scene tape and a huge crowd standing around the bayou. Across the bayou was a wrecker, and a car completely covered in what looked like a body bag.

Turns out they found the car of a young school teacher who disappeared three months ago at the bottom of the bayou, with her body still inside.

Top THAT, Farkers.
 
2013-06-08 05:34:36 PM
Funny you should ask.  I went for a run on some trails in the hills close to my house today.  I came around a bend, and in the middle of the trail was a woman in full 1800s period costume, standing next to some poster boards on easels.

Apparently there was some "Frontier days" event going on that I didn't know about.
 
2013-06-08 05:39:41 PM
  I went to the beach today where I saw over a hundred people  (they kept coming) with a lot of them dressed in all white with some in white robes. They had  3 props with the last one saying "believe". Not sure what the first two words were.  It didn't look like a wedding but for some reason I was thinking it was religious in nature.   There was not much room for parking so they had to  either take some buses or walked quite a ways.
 
2013-06-08 05:39:41 PM

assjuice: I saw Fark turn a little more into Reddit.


The fact that you know what Reddit is like to make that comparison say more about you than us.
 
2013-06-08 05:44:30 PM
I saw a guy with skinny jeans, thick black glasses and a 'fro riding a longboard down a city street while playing a mandolin.
 
2013-06-08 05:47:12 PM

letthepossumlive: I went to the beach today where I saw over a hundred people  (they kept coming) with a lot of them dressed in all white with some in white robes. They had  3 props with the last one saying "believe". Not sure what the first two words were.  It didn't look like a wedding but for some reason I was thinking it was religious in nature.   There was not much room for parking so they had to  either take some buses or walked quite a ways.


Baptism, most likely.
 
2013-06-08 05:48:35 PM

letthepossumlive: I went to the beach today where I saw over a hundred people  (they kept coming) with a lot of them dressed in all white with some in white robes. They had  3 props with the last one saying "believe". Not sure what the first two words were.  It didn't look like a wedding but for some reason I was thinking it was religious in nature.   There was not much room for parking so they had to  either take some buses or walked quite a ways.


Are you in South Florida?
 
2013-06-08 05:52:47 PM

redsquid: letthepossumlive: I went to the beach today where I saw over a hundred people  (they kept coming) with a lot of them dressed in all white with some in white robes. They had  3 props with the last one saying "believe". Not sure what the first two words were.  It didn't look like a wedding but for some reason I was thinking it was religious in nature.   There was not much room for parking so they had to  either take some buses or walked quite a ways.

Are you in South Florida?


Jax
 
2013-06-08 05:53:04 PM
Public library in the Bronx. Some guy on what looked like a facebook page devoted to feet fetishism. I wrinkled my nose in disgust and a security guard came flying over.

lulz
 
2013-06-08 05:55:08 PM
Does subby live in Lancaster County, PA?
 
2013-06-08 05:56:01 PM
We were in Marshall, Texas on our way home after a wedding.  I saw what looked like several old cars pieced together to make something that drove.  It had an exposed engine like a chopped up deuce coupe.  The entire thing was rusty, and on the door was painted (or maybe chalked) "White Trash."  It had a shiny nitrous tank on the back.
 
2013-06-08 05:56:26 PM
I saw a threat on a gaming website where people insisted that the new SimCity game didn't have that many problems.
 
2013-06-08 05:56:30 PM
I'm an Asian guy with a banjo, not a lot seems strange to me.
 
2013-06-08 06:03:18 PM

letthepossumlive: redsquid: letthepossumlive: I went to the beach today where I saw over a hundred people  (they kept coming) with a lot of them dressed in all white with some in white robes. They had  3 props with the last one saying "believe". Not sure what the first two words were.  It didn't look like a wedding but for some reason I was thinking it was religious in nature.   There was not much room for parking so they had to  either take some buses or walked quite a ways.

Are you in South Florida?

Jax


Maybe Santeria? I had neighbors who were into that. They had huge get-togethers where everyone wore white and did religious stuff. Really good people but the animal sacrifice thing made me queasy.
 
2013-06-08 06:06:23 PM
At the Farmer's Market last night I saw a bride and groom rushing down the street. She had on a beautiful full length white gown with bouquet in hand. He had on a very dapper gray suit with vest and tie. They stopped to do a quick 2 step when the live band gave them a shout out and then hurried on their way.
 
2013-06-08 06:14:26 PM
There's lizard poop on my patio furniture.
 
2013-06-08 06:15:22 PM
I really wanted to get the grass cut before it rained here. It was clouding up majorly and the wind was really blowing hard. I just finished mowing, when a huge gust of wind blew up my grass clippings into a small funnel cloud. It lasted no more than 5 or 6 seconds, but I saw the birth of a "grass tornado".

/crossed that off my bucket list
//still have "see Cameron Diaz on a nude beach" to go!
 
2013-06-08 06:15:31 PM
I saw a team of ten-year-olds win a local Little League championship.
 
2013-06-08 06:15:59 PM
I didn't see anything too strange today, but I did something strange earlier this week. I shoved a live scorpion down my pants, hopped on a balance board and juggled machetes for folks amusement.

Knife Juggling Fun! (safe for work)
 
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