Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(10 News)   Today's winning lottery numbers are 32, 39, 39, 47, 50, 56 ... just kidding, it's the ages of six women arrested for "unlawful touching"   (10news.com) divider line 52
    More: Interesting, Poway, Poway massage parlors  
•       •       •

11663 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Jun 2013 at 4:22 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



52 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-06-07 01:02:38 AM  
Subby, go buy a tix!
 
2013-06-07 01:09:30 AM  
Playing the lottery rarely results in a happy ending.
 
2013-06-07 02:27:16 AM  
"It's very disturbing and we have kids here," explained Mary Stewart, who frequented the plaza next to one of the parlors. "Just to know it's in our neighborhood is just disturbing."

www.dearmrlevy.com
 
2013-06-07 02:35:11 AM  
"Investigators said 50-year old Hang Yin Chui Russell, and 47-year old Yishuan Cheng, both from Oceanside, were arrested at the Healing Touch."

I love to see my city representing well.
 
2013-06-07 03:31:38 AM  
What a wonderful use of police resources.  Don't know about you guys, but I feel safer now.
 
2013-06-07 04:26:20 AM  
Sweat baby sweat baby sex is a Texas drought
Me and you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about
So put your hands down my pants and I'll bet you'll feel nuts
Yes I'm Siskel, yes I'm Ebert and you're getting two thumbs up
You've had enough of two-hand touch you want it rough you're out of bounds
I want you smothered want you covered like my Waffle House hashbrowns
Come quicker than FedEx never reach an apex just like Coca-Cola stock you are inclined
To make me rise an hour early just like Daylight Savings Time
 
2013-06-07 04:47:39 AM  
file025.bebo.com
 
2013-06-07 04:50:36 AM  
If they were breaking up a human trafficking ring, good on them.  But, since neither the article or video mentions anything like that, WTF?  If they're all consenting adults doing adult things behind closed doors, what's the point?

If you see a place in a strip mall with a neon MASSAGE sign in the window, this is what they do.  That's their business model.  Or they're  pretending it's their business model to get desperate schmoes in the door.  Cops do this a couple times a year to appease the "think of the children" set who think that every illicit establishment in town just got raided and shut down.  Meanwhile, you could turn around, throw a rock, and hit three other massage parlors on the other side of the street that are doing exactly the same thing.  It's as effective as the war on drugs.

Legalize it, regulate it, tax it.
 
2013-06-07 05:11:49 AM  
Came for Arrested Development... leaving happy.
 
2013-06-07 05:17:33 AM  
I'm glad they were able to protect the men of the town from those awful handjobs and such. I shudder just thinking about those poor victims. Good work police!
 
2013-06-07 05:25:02 AM  
Oil pressure?  They work on cars there?
 
2013-06-07 05:42:49 AM  
Unlawful touching?  That sounds more like a 5 yard penalty than a crime.
 
2013-06-07 06:02:32 AM  

Altair: What a wonderful use of police resources.  Don't know about you guys, but I feel safer now.


It's what they love to do. Impose the "morals" of their wealthy masters.

But the real criminals, e.g. guys like the Koch brothers and the slimy politicians that take their "campaign contributions" get off Scott free.

The law is an ass.
 
2013-06-07 06:29:19 AM  
I'd love to get a love me long time from that reporter chick.

Creemofsumyunguy.jpeg
 
b3x
2013-06-07 06:29:26 AM  

Altair: What a wonderful use of police resources.  Don't know about you guys, but I feel safer now.


The Police are about maintaining a revenue stream. These women were providing services without legally declaring them to the state, thus denying the state revenue ... that will not be tolerated.
 
2013-06-07 06:34:12 AM  
Is there anything other than sex that is legal when done for free but illegal when done for money?
 
mhd
2013-06-07 06:54:30 AM  
Unlawful touching? So, they swept the leg?
 
2013-06-07 07:00:55 AM  

Befuddled: Is there anything other than sex that is legal when done for free but illegal when done for money?


I believe in Colorado right now, it's currently legal to give someone (upto an ounce) of pot for free for recreational use, but you're not allowed to sell it to them (unless you're an authorized seller, which I don't think there are any of yet, aside from medical dispensaries)...
 
2013-06-07 07:07:48 AM  
What was the powerball number?
 
2013-06-07 07:09:14 AM  

6655321: What was the powerball number?


It was 6655321 I think. Hope that helps. It's also the phone number from the bathroom stall. For a good time.
 
2013-06-07 07:11:29 AM  
Somebody, somewhere, will play those numbers after reading this article or one like it.

If they don't, those are good lottery numbers because none of them are below 31. Too many people play the birthdates of loved ones, which means that the chances of winning a lottery with the days of the month (1-31) and the months of the year (1-12) without having to share a prize with these twits are slim. But if the numbers roll out of the machine above 31, all of these chumps are eliminated.

The odds do  not change, but the chance of being the sole ticket holder improve if you are a contrarian and choose the least popular numbers.

The number 7 is dead to you.

Shiat, that would be a good Tweet!
 
2013-06-07 07:21:17 AM  

Day_Old_Dutchie: Altair: What a wonderful use of police resources.  Don't know about you guys, but I feel safer now.

It's what they love to do. Impose the "morals" of their wealthy masters.

But the real criminals, e.g. guys like the Koch brothers and the slimy politicians that take their "campaign contributions" get off Scott free.

The law is an ass.


The way the law works in relation to the size of a crime reminds me of the story of two blind men trying to describe an elephant (one from the front of the elephant, one from the back). The law being blind, seems to be more representative of not being able to recognize huge crimes, than it is to do with the representation of unbiased judgment.
 
2013-06-07 07:26:14 AM  
There was a massage parlor that was run out of an old house behind my office, and one day everyone on
the north side of our offices got ringside seats to the police bust.

OK, it was mostly boring, but there were highlights:  seeing the police roll up with the lights on and cordoning
off the block was entertaining, as was when the plain white van that we assumed was from INS pulled up
to cart off 5 or 6 asian women who we assumed were the workers (who may well have been here illegally,
since they were escorted by another asian woman in the Federal-issue black suit), and when they led two
other women away in handcuffs.

The best part was that for weeks afterwards we would see random guys go up the steps and knock on the
door, not seeing the big CONDEMNED notice they put on the building.
 
2013-06-07 07:28:13 AM  
The catch is that, if you are a perfect contrarian, you will be playing the same numbers as all the other contrarians. To avoid this, you should also second guess the contrarians and avoid the number 13.

I would say that the number 4 is also dead to you, because it sounds like "death" in Chinese and the Chinese are major gamblers. (One of the Simpsons episodes shows Kang and Kodos looking at an island shaping like a Death's Head and one of them observes that it is ironic (or possibly funny) because it looks like their numeral "four". In short, you are on your own, Baby. You have to choose numbers that nobody else wants, not even the contrarians. But if there is a contrarian second-guessing the other contrarians, then she may choose the same numbers as all the other contrarians second-guessing other contrarians, and so on.

"Chance" is a real biatch. No wonder gamblers never speak the Lady's name. Lady Luck's real name is "Chancey". Very few people know that because very few people ever think.

By the by, I was walking past the patch of grass in front of my building this past week and saw a four-leaf clover. I wasn't looking for one, I just happened to see it in a glance. When I was young, I looked for them on my grandmother's lawn. There were quite a few of them. I found 13 and stopped, just for the irony value.

I guess that once you imprint the image of a four-leaf clover on your brain, it stays there, making it easier to spot, not unlike dimes.

There was an article in a local paper around the time I was interested in finding clovers about a farmer who found clovers with as many as seven leaves in his field. Of course, he had an unfair advantage--he owned a giant field of clovers!

Curse you, Monsanto!

Or whatever.

Of course, this is probably normal and has nothing to do with genetic mutations caused by pesticides. Seven is probably close to the upper limit of leaves a clover can have. There's probably a perfectly natural reason for this, like the difficulty of folding a piece of paper more than seven times, no matter how thin and flexible it may be.
 
2013-06-07 08:21:03 AM  
Five men were also interviewed and released during the operation.

Why were they released?  This is so wrong.  I can't think of any other "crime" where half the guilty parties are allowed to take a walk at the very beginning of the investigation.

FWIW, I don't believe that prostitution should be illegal but if it is, then the PD should apply the laws equally.
 
2013-06-07 08:27:14 AM  
 Tian Tian is bad at sex.  That's why the National Zoo has only managed one cub.
 
2013-06-07 08:27:28 AM  
jtown:

Legalize it, regulate it, tax it..

...as long as it's not where I live or work.
 
2013-06-07 08:28:41 AM  
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-06-07 08:31:36 AM  
www.mathgoespop.com
 
2013-06-07 08:38:55 AM  

Bucky Katt: Playing the lottery rarely results in a happy ending.


Quick Pick
 
2013-06-07 08:46:50 AM  

Marcintosh: Five men were also interviewed and released during the operation.

Why were they released?  This is so wrong.  I can't think of any other "crime" where half the guilty parties are allowed to take a walk at the very beginning of the investigation.

FWIW, I don't believe that prostitution should be illegal but if it is, then the PD should apply the laws equally.


It said they were interviewed, it didn't say they received illegal services.  What are these guys going to say, I got a handjob?  The ladies aren't going to say anything either.  So unless the cops had a camera set up inside the shop they got nothing on the men.
 
2013-06-07 08:51:29 AM  

Altair: What a wonderful use of police resources.  Don't know about you guys, but I feel safer now.


Considering the amount of human trafficking, immigration fraud and abusive work environments that go on in some asian massage parlors I have no problem with police raiding them and think it is a great use of resources.
 
2013-06-07 08:56:25 AM  
Legal Massage parlor: Sign out front says something something "spiritual enlightenment alignment healing crystal ayurvedic clinic" people working there are middle aged hippies in sandals with grey hair and the clients are all women unless some poor schmuck is being dragged in by his wife after a forced pedicure.

Illegal Massage Parlor: Sing out front says MASSAGE in red lights, people working there are gaudily dressed Asian women in high heels and the clients are 100 middle aged men.
 
2013-06-07 08:58:40 AM  

Befuddled: Is there anything other than sex that is legal when done for free but illegal when done for money?


Ah yes the Carlin argument.  The problem is that sex is never free.  It can be given freely but it's not free.  If these men could get sex for free they would.  They couldn't so they paid for it.  The women that took the money certainly weren't going to give them sex for free.
 
2013-06-07 09:03:57 AM  
I love how the undercover operation took more than a month to conduct.
"uuuh, sarge...we need more evidence in the massage parlor bust.  at least another week; my wife's aunt flo is in town."
 
2013-06-07 09:12:44 AM  

Milk D: I love how the undercover operation took more than a month to conduct.
"uuuh, sarge...we need more evidence in the massage parlor bust.  at least another week; my wife's aunt flo is in town."


The police need to see a pattern of violations over time, otherwise the parlor would use the 'bad apple' defense.
 
2013-06-07 09:28:13 AM  
This is what happens when one of these places doesn't follow all parts of the asian massage parlor business plan.

1)  Have set hours.  Do not be open at "all hours of the day".  Publish the times, make sure your "clients" know the times
2)  Be tied into some organized crime family that has contacts with some kind of business that can get rid of dead bodies.  You are going to run into some wack job that thinks he can hold your illegal activities over your head.  They can't be trusted, and have to be killed and disposed of.
3)  Expand the client base slowly.  Going from zero to 100 a week overnight gets the wrong kind of focus.
4)  Make sure you actually have at least one staff member on had that can actually do a good massage.  First time and "looks like a cop" clients get that staffer only.
5)  Pay taxes.  Join the local business associations.

Finally:  Give the cops "Free massage" coupons.  Make sure there is a video camera on the door so you learn what each of those farkers looks like when they come to claim their "happy ending", and they don't get it..  This way when someone complains about your business the reaction from the police force is "Yeah we know happens there".
 
2013-06-07 09:45:12 AM  
TTIUWMS

(mug shots)
 
2013-06-07 09:50:46 AM  

fozziewazzi: Marcintosh: Five men were also interviewed and released during the operation.

Why were they released?  This is so wrong.  I can't think of any other "crime" where half the guilty parties are allowed to take a walk at the very beginning of the investigation.

FWIW, I don't believe that prostitution should be illegal but if it is, then the PD should apply the laws equally.

It said they were interviewed, it didn't say they received illegal services.  What are these guys going to say, I got a handjob?  The ladies aren't going to say anything either.  So unless the cops had a camera set up inside the shop they got nothing on the men.


I would think it could be called Criminal Conspiracy.
http://www.shouselaw.com/conspiracy.html
The men are there to commit a crime in conjunction with the women that are there to commit a crime.
Everyone goes away not just the women.
Practically I don't think it would stick.
It would however make more people think before parking in front for the poker in the rear.
 
2013-06-07 10:05:45 AM  
www.bafra.org
Five yard penalty or loss of down.
 
2013-06-07 10:06:25 AM  

Marcintosh: Five men were also interviewed and released during the operation.

Why were they released?


Pehaps they meant "got a release"?

/sweet release . . .
 
2013-06-07 10:09:20 AM  
In other news, happyendingz/CJ has gone quiet.
 
2013-06-07 10:14:33 AM  

brantgoose: I guess that once you imprint the image of a four-leaf clover on your brain, it stays there, making it easier to spot, not unlike dimes.


This seems to be the case. My grandfather taught me how to spot four leaf clovers when I was a kid and I still spot them from time to time without even looking for them.
 
2013-06-07 10:27:15 AM  

Marcintosh: fozziewazzi: Marcintosh: Five men were also interviewed and released during the operation.

Why were they released?  This is so wrong.  I can't think of any other "crime" where half the guilty parties are allowed to take a walk at the very beginning of the investigation.

FWIW, I don't believe that prostitution should be illegal but if it is, then the PD should apply the laws equally.

It said they were interviewed, it didn't say they received illegal services.  What are these guys going to say, I got a handjob?  The ladies aren't going to say anything either.  So unless the cops had a camera set up inside the shop they got nothing on the men.

I would think it could be called Criminal Conspiracy.
http://www.shouselaw.com/conspiracy.html
The men are there to commit a crime in conjunction with the women that are there to commit a crime.
Everyone goes away not just the women.
Practically I don't think it would stick.
It would however make more people think before parking in front for the poker in the rear.


I think the case would be too weak.  If this were say, an illegal drug den and nothing else it would be a no-brainer.  But in this case any man can claim that they actually did receive a legal massage and nothing else.  In fact most of these massage parlors offer both legitimate and illegal massages so you can make a blanket statement on their entire clientele.
 
2013-06-07 10:28:58 AM  
Local, state and federal? For a rub and tug place? Damn.
 
2013-06-07 10:36:32 AM  

Befuddled: Is there anything other than sex that is legal when done for free but illegal when done for money?


A warning instead of a speeding ticket?
 
2013-06-07 10:55:36 AM  
That's great that the story was covered by Asian reporter Janet Kwak

t1.gstatic.com
 
2013-06-07 11:25:55 AM  

chubby muppet: That's great that the story was covered by Asian reporter Janet Kwak

[t1.gstatic.com image 248x184]


www.lostisagame.com
 
2013-06-07 12:06:00 PM  
I feel so much safer now....
 
2013-06-07 01:58:51 PM  

UtopianDevil: This seems to be the case. My grandfather taught me how to spot four leaf clovers when I was a kid and I still spot them from time to time without even looking for them.



How does one get taught to spot 4 leaf clovers?

Granpa: "See that there, it has four leaves"

Grandkid: "Uhhh..ok"

/or do they only grow on limestone soils on the northern aspect in early transition stage meadows within 10 degrees of the 35th latitude?
 
Displayed 50 of 52 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report