If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Baltimore Sun)   Are you sitting down? Take a deep breath. Are you ready for this? An audit found that the Baltimore City Jail is a dangerous corrupt shiathole   (baltimoresun.com) divider line 57
    More: Obvious, Baltimore, Correctional Services, technical assistance, fraternization, independents, systemic problems, jail  
•       •       •

3819 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Jun 2013 at 6:35 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



57 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-06-06 05:56:54 PM  
"NOW you tell me!" - D'Angelo Barksdale
 
2013-06-06 06:07:36 PM  
shiat.
 
2013-06-06 06:12:30 PM  
Well, I won't be going THERE for the holidays anymore.
 
2013-06-06 06:21:07 PM  
24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-06-06 06:24:07 PM  
So just like Baltimore, then?
 
2013-06-06 06:29:48 PM  
I heard reports of wife-farking and challenge pissing myself
 
wee
2013-06-06 06:30:28 PM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: So just like Baltimore, then?


Yeah, exactly how is this different from the rest of the city?
 
2013-06-06 06:30:54 PM  
That's a state prison, which means it's Gov. Carcetti's baby.
 
2013-06-06 06:36:18 PM  
SHUT
DOWN
EVERYTHING
 
2013-06-06 06:40:04 PM  
Them clothes got laundry numbers on them. You remember your number and always wear the ones that has your number. Any man forgets his number spends a night in the box. These here spoons you keep with you. Any man loses his spoon spends a night in the box. There's no playing grab-ass or fighting in the building. You got a grudge against another man, you fight him Saturday afternoon. Any man playing grab-ass or fighting in the building spends a night in the box. First bell's at five minutes of eight when you will get in your bunk. Last bell is at eight. Any man not in his bunk at eight spends the night in the box. There is no smoking in the prone position in bed. To smoke you must have both legs over the side of your bunk. Any man caught smoking in the prone position in bed... spends a night in the box. You get two sheets. Every Saturday, you put the clean sheet on the top... the top sheet on the bottom... and the bottom sheet you turn in to the laundry boy. Any man turns in the wrong sheet spends a night in the box. No one'll sit in the bunks with dirty pants on. Any man with dirty pants on sitting on the bunks spends a night in the box. Any man don't bring back his empty pop bottle spends a night in the box. Any man loud talking spends a night in the box. You got questions, you come to me. I'm Carr, the floor walker. I'm responsible for order in here.
 
2013-06-06 06:49:21 PM  
Get arrested in Mexico, Tijuana has a nice jail.  At least a friend told me that.
 
2013-06-06 06:49:51 PM  
The head of security at the Baltimore jail failed a polygraph test administered after a federal indictment alleged widespread corruption on her watch


What is this, "Meet the Parents?" A polygraph only shows anxiety, possibly in relation to dishonesty.
 
2013-06-06 06:50:07 PM  
Stringer says...

cdn-static.denofgeek.com
 
2013-06-06 06:51:31 PM  
IMHO the entire city of Batimore is being framed by iguana people from the planet Neptune 8
 
2013-06-06 06:53:15 PM  
The Spirit of Spiro T Agnew is alive and well in Maryland Government/Politics.
 
2013-06-06 06:53:25 PM  

rkiller1: ...You got questions, you come to me. I'm Carr, the floor walker. I'm responsible for order in here.


For those youngins (including myself) who don't know what this quote is from: Cool Hand Luke (1967) - "A man refuses to conform to life in a rural prison."
 
2013-06-06 06:56:28 PM  

sharphead: rkiller1: ...You got questions, you come to me. I'm Carr, the floor walker. I'm responsible for order in here.

For those youngins (including myself) who don't know what this quote is from: Cool Hand Luke (1967) - "A man refuses to conform to life in a rural prison."


So the box in question is not an XBox? I was wondering how that would work.
 
2013-06-06 06:59:12 PM  
No sh... no kidding?
 
2013-06-06 06:59:15 PM  

UsikFark: The head of security at the Baltimore jail failed a polygraph test administered after a federal indictment alleged widespread corruption on her watch


What is this, "Meet the Parents?" A polygraph only shows anxiety, possibly in relation to dishonesty.


Don't be silly - there are never any problems with polygraphs   http://www.kansas.com/2013/05/25/2819167/glitch-in-widely-used-polygr a ph.html
 
2013-06-06 06:59:25 PM  

sharphead: rkiller1: ...You got questions, you come to me. I'm Carr, the floor walker. I'm responsible for order in here.

For those youngins (including myself) who don't know what this quote is from: Cool Hand Luke (1967) - "A man refuses to conform to life in a rural prison."


you mean, "No man can eat 50 eggs in an hour."

/don't like parking meters either
 
2013-06-06 06:59:45 PM  

Lochsteppe: sharphead: rkiller1: ...You got questions, you come to me. I'm Carr, the floor walker. I'm responsible for order in here.

For those youngins (including myself) who don't know what this quote is from: Cool Hand Luke (1967) - "A man refuses to conform to life in a rural prison."

So the box in question is not an XBox? I was wondering how that would work.


Obviously a failure in communication.
 
2013-06-06 07:01:52 PM  
There go the auditors, giving a fark when it's not their turn to give a fark.

/maybe my single favorite line from that show
 
2013-06-06 07:02:57 PM  

theotherles: No sh... no kidding?


sheeeeeeeit.com
 
2013-06-06 07:03:28 PM  

sharphead: rkiller1: ...You got questions, you come to me. I'm Carr, the floor walker. I'm responsible for order in here.

For those youngins (including myself) who don't know what this quote is from: Cool Hand Luke (1967) - "A man refuses to conform to life in a rural prison."


SNLs take on it from 1980

Scene: Outside the directors cabin at French Camp

Le Capitan: while you're at Camp Beau Soleil you're going to follow the rules. Rule #1 - All berets must be worn on a slant. If your beret is not on a slant, you spend a night in the box. Rule #2 - No semi-soft cheeses in the bunks. Anyone eating brie or camembert or any of those other semi-soft cheeses spends a night in the box. Rule #3 - Use the formal "vous" when addressing your counselors and staff. Anyone using the familiar "tu" spends a night in the box.

/ if you dont speak French, you'll spend a night in the box...
 
2013-06-06 07:04:09 PM  

sharphead: rkiller1: ...You got questions, you come to me. I'm Carr, the floor walker. I'm responsible for order in here.

For those youngins (including myself) who don't know what this quote is from: Cool Hand Luke (1967) - "A man refuses to conform to life in a rural prison."


If you don't know where the quote is from, you should feel shame.
 
2013-06-06 07:08:17 PM  

WhippingBoy: If you don't know where the quote is from, you should feel shame.


Not all of us are 60+...heck, some of us aren't even in our 40s or 50s.  I know, I know, we young folk should feel shame regardless.
 
2013-06-06 07:10:07 PM  
What we have here...
 
2013-06-06 07:13:25 PM  

WhippingBoy: sharphead: rkiller1: ...You got questions, you come to me. I'm Carr, the floor walker. I'm responsible for order in here.

For those youngins (including myself) who don't know what this quote is from: Cool Hand Luke (1967) - "A man refuses to conform to life in a rural prison."

If you don't know where the quote is from, you should feel shame.


t0.gstatic.com
 
2013-06-06 07:19:04 PM  

IamAwake: UsikFark: The head of security at the Baltimore jail failed a polygraph test administered after a federal indictment alleged widespread corruption on her watch


What is this, "Meet the Parents?" A polygraph only shows anxiety, possibly in relation to dishonesty.

Don't be silly - there are never any problems with polygraphs   http://www.kansas.com/2013/05/25/2819167/glitch-in-widely-used-polygr a ph.html


I know it's not a scientific instrument, it's more to systematically identify bad liars. Plenty of room in practice for false negatives and positives. It's a step above using a multi-meter to check how sweaty someone is.
 
2013-06-06 07:19:36 PM  

IamAwake: WhippingBoy: If you don't know where the quote is from, you should feel shame.

Not all of us are 60+...heck, some of us aren't even in our 40s or 50s.  I know, I know, we young folk should feel shame regardless.


So what we've got here is a failure to communicate?
 
2013-06-06 07:24:02 PM  

IamAwake: WhippingBoy: If you don't know where the quote is from, you should feel shame.

Not all of us are 60+...heck, some of us aren't even in our 40s or 50s.  I know, I know, we young folk should feel shame regardless.


So I take it no one under 40 has ever heard "Use the Force, Luke?", either?
 
2013-06-06 07:26:46 PM  
Are you sitting down? Take a deep breath. Are you ready for this? An audit found that the Baltimore City Jail is a dangerous corrupt shiathole
 
2013-06-06 07:28:29 PM  

IamAwake: WhippingBoy: If you don't know where the quote is from, you should feel shame.

Not all of us are 60+...heck, some of us aren't even in our 40s or 50s.  I know, I know, we young folk should feel shame regardless.


No, I know plenty of educated 'young folk', ignorance is why you should feel shame, not age.
 
2013-06-06 07:31:07 PM  
subby has a perty mouth
 
2013-06-06 07:32:14 PM  

Omahawg: subby has a perty mouth


www.lolbrary.com
 
2013-06-06 07:32:51 PM  

sharphead: rkiller1: ...You got questions, you come to me. I'm Carr, the floor walker. I'm responsible for order in here.

For those youngins (including myself) who don't know what this quote is from: Cool Hand Luke (1967) - "A man refuses to conform to life in a rural prison."


Cripes. "Cool Hand Luke" should be on anybody's short list.

"What we have here is a failure to communicate."
 
2013-06-06 07:33:38 PM  
In jail, there are people that want to fark you up. Know where you are the most vulnerable? Taking a dump, that's where they will shiv you. So when taking a dump, always take one leg out of your pants. Yes, your pants will be lying on the piss covered ground, but if someone tries to stab you, you have a chance of escape, not so if your pants are down around your ankles.
Don't say I never helped you.
 
2013-06-06 07:39:00 PM  

WhippingBoy: sharphead: rkiller1: ...You got questions, you come to me. I'm Carr, the floor walker. I'm responsible for order in here.

For those youngins (including myself) who don't know what this quote is from: Cool Hand Luke (1967) - "A man refuses to conform to life in a rural prison."

If you don't know where the quote is from, you should feel shame.


Feelin shame, boss.
 
2013-06-06 07:39:12 PM  

Rip Dashrock: In jail, there are people that want to fark you up. Know where you are the most vulnerable? Taking a dump, that's where they will shiv you. So when taking a dump, always take one leg out of your pants. Yes, your pants will be lying on the piss covered ground, but if someone tries to stab you, you have a chance of escape, not so if your pants are down around your ankles.
Don't say I never helped you.


That why they call you One-Leg Rip?
 
2013-06-06 07:44:05 PM  

Omahawg: WhippingBoy: sharphead: rkiller1: ...You got questions, you come to me. I'm Carr, the floor walker. I'm responsible for order in here.

For those youngins (including myself) who don't know what this quote is from: Cool Hand Luke (1967) - "A man refuses to conform to life in a rural prison."

If you don't know where the quote is from, you should feel shame.

[t0.gstatic.com image 200x200]


------

Any man who doesn't know the difference between "then" and "than" spends a night in  the box
 
2013-06-06 07:45:07 PM  

Rip Dashrock: In jail, there are people that want to fark you up. Know where you are the most vulnerable? Taking a dump, that's where they will shiv you. So when taking a dump, always take one leg out of your pants. Yes, your pants will be lying on the piss covered ground, but if someone tries to stab you, you have a chance of escape, not so if your pants are down around your ankles.
Don't say I never helped you.


So, do you want to tell us how helpless you were waking up with bed sheets tied around your upper torso, pinning you to the bunk while the brothers had their turn? No? Too many flashbacks?
 
2013-06-06 07:45:44 PM  
"Dat deah da man wid no eyes, Luke boy.  Doan you go foolin'; wid him."
 
2013-06-06 07:46:21 PM  
Shakin the bush, boss... shakin the bush.
 
2013-06-06 07:51:52 PM  
 
2013-06-06 07:56:02 PM  
I look forward to O'Malley making a big fuss but not actually doing anything about it.
 
2013-06-06 07:56:54 PM  
special20:
So, do you want to tell us how helpless you were waking up with bed sheets tied around your upper torso, pinning you to the bunk while the brothers had their turn? No? Too many flashbacks?

Some people pay good money for that kind of action.
 
2013-06-06 07:59:42 PM  
When jail/prison stops being a civic element for correcting citizen lives and becomes a full fledged industry out to make profit you know something is wrong.

/What's the difference between growing weed in your house and carrying an unlicensed gun?
//Nothing because depending on the jurisdiction you'll get 10 years in jail for both
 
2013-06-06 08:01:41 PM  
Baltimore is a fantastic, lively, friendly, and all around swell place to be, as long as you never ever have any contact with the local authorities.
 
2013-06-06 08:04:46 PM  

special20: Rip Dashrock: In jail, there are people that want to fark you up. Know where you are the most vulnerable? Taking a dump, that's where they will shiv you. So when taking a dump, always take one leg out of your pants. Yes, your pants will be lying on the piss covered ground, but if someone tries to stab you, you have a chance of escape, not so if your pants are down around your ankles.
Don't say I never helped you.

So, do you want to tell us how helpless you were waking up with bed sheets tied around your upper torso, pinning you to the bunk while the brothers had their turn? No? Too many flashbacks?


always breathe out on the in strokes
 
2013-06-06 08:07:31 PM  

IamAwake: WhippingBoy: If you don't know where the quote is from, you should feel shame.

Not all of us are 60+...heck, some of us aren't even in our 40s or 50s.  I know, I know, we young folk should feel shame regardless.


You're one of those responsible for Justin Bieber.

I'll just leave that there.
 
Displayed 50 of 57 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report