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(BBC)   Surprising number of adults tortured by extreme homesickness. It's not a TLC show -- yet   (bbc.co.uk) divider line 40
    More: Strange, Schuster, social psychologist, imperialisms, ambiguity, Moldova  
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2574 clicks; posted to Geek » on 06 Jun 2013 at 3:13 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-06-06 02:55:48 PM
What's strange about that? When I moved out to San Francisco for a few years, I definitely felt some homesickness, and I usually pride myself on willingness to travel and experience new things. I know of friends that moved overseas that felt the same thing. Some have been able to overcome it, some had to move back. I can understand how people who grew up in a tight knit small town are afraid to leave it for a big city and instead stay there their whole lives. I don't agree with it, but I understand it. Once you find a place that you gel with, it's hard to live anywhere else.
 
2013-06-06 03:26:57 PM
F*ck Missouri. I only go back for family obligations and that's it.
 
2013-06-06 03:32:19 PM
i'm quite the opposite...get that claustrophobic  feel after too long in one spot.
 
2013-06-06 03:38:36 PM

sn0wblind: i'm quite the opposite...get that claustrophobic  feel after too long in one spot.


I get both. I want to live somewhere new, but so far I moved from big city to weird 'burbs and I miss the food and places in the big city. Now I'm aiming for mid-sized city.

/First-world problems right 'ere
 
2013-06-06 03:50:14 PM
Damn it, subby: DON'T GIVE THEM ANY IDEAS!
 
2013-06-06 04:03:55 PM
Home is where the heart is.

/We learned that during the Depression. You didn't have a home. You rode the rails and starved.
 
2013-06-06 04:04:49 PM
I grew up in a crummy little town in the rural midwest.  It has been in constant decay for as long as I can remember.  I left in '95 to go to college and my mother's funeral will be the last time I go there on purpose.

/I've never missed it.
//I'm fairly sure I never will.
 
2013-06-06 04:05:58 PM
I've been away from home for most of my adult life and I've never felt it. What is it like?
 
2013-06-06 04:06:53 PM
Don't go chasing waterfalls, stick to the home that you're used to
 
2013-06-06 04:09:43 PM
This is a lesson I've learned:

Imagine every feeling you've ever felt. Homesickness. Sadness. Apathy. Anger. Arousal. That barely wake, still dreaming and kinda paranoid state after a strange dream. The longing to belong. The longing to be alone. Various kinds of love. Hunger. That "I just ate too damn much" feeling. Craving or dislike of spicy foods. That ambitious motivation where you feel like you could clean the whole house and start a new business by Wednesday. Missing a lost loved one. Itchiness. biatchiness.

Now consider that for each of those feelings, there is a group of people experiencing that one feeling to an such an extreme degree that it consumes their life and there's not really anything they can do to make it stop. All day, every day, all the time.

Now also consider that for each of those feelings, there is a larger group of people who experience that one feeling to a degree that you find socially unacceptable and since it doesn't really rise to the level of a treatable, excusable disorder, you just kinda wish that person would just get their shiat together, even though there's about as little as they can do to fix it as the schizoid on the far extreme.

tl;dr: people are different.
 
2013-06-06 04:09:59 PM
I grew up in a town with around 150,000 people there and the surrounding areas. When I was in my early 20's I moved to a town that has almost ten times as many people here and in the surrounding areas. After living here in Louisville for a year or two I'd get homesick for it whenever I'd go back to the place I grew up. I still can't stand to go back there for more than a day or two at a time. Honestly, if it weren't for select family members and a few friends I'd be happy to never go back there again. Along with getting married and having kids I still count the day I left Evansville as one of the best days of my life.
 
2013-06-06 04:13:37 PM
I definitely get homesick, even on work trips. I had a trip from Sat -> Friday in April in a new city every 2 days and I really wanted to be home with the girl and pets and sofa and all that. It's like comfort food. I'm definitely a homebody though.

Nostalgia and homesickness are closely intertwined, I get "homesick" for times past or old homes and friends and all that. Especially if I've been smoking, that definitely takes me back through time.

Sometimes it can be a nice feeling, but bittersweet too.
 
2013-06-06 04:33:09 PM

sn0wblind: i'm quite the opposite...get that claustrophobic  feel after too long in one spot.


I get both.  But as an Army brat, I never really had a place I could call "home" since we moved every 3 years or earlier.  So I occasionally get this overwhelming longing and melancholy for a place I don't think even exists.  I feel like crap for a couple hours, maybe a day, then I get over it.
 
2013-06-06 04:49:29 PM
I've been traveling pretty much my whole life so I don't suffer physical homesickness.  People I'll miss the fark out of though.

/DNRTFA
 
2013-06-06 04:51:51 PM
I have zero desire to return "home". My hometown is a small Texas town that is the self-proclaimed Cowboy Capitol of The World. Since I never had the desire to raise livestock, do the horseback thing, or ride bulls, I never fit in.

I do dislike moving, tough. 5 cross country moves and countless local moves kinda grinds on a person. Had to follow the money and jobs, though.
 
2013-06-06 04:54:40 PM
Up until I was 20 or so, I'd spent my entire life in or around NYC. Moved to a small town in Kansas and I've never looked back. The few times I've had to go to a big city, I just cannot stand it. Too loud, too busy, too crowded. We always take all of July for vacation, and by the end I'm ready to go back home.
 
2013-06-06 05:08:41 PM

Aidan: sn0wblind: i'm quite the opposite...get that claustrophobic  feel after too long in one spot.

I get both. I want to live somewhere new, but so far I moved from big city to weird 'burbs and I miss the food and places in the big city. Now I'm aiming for mid-sized city.

/First-world problems right 'ere


I created a presentation along these lines, entitled "Homesick for Everywhere"
 
2013-06-06 05:28:34 PM
Love my home state (Arkansas).
Couldn't pay me to live in my hometown anymore. Too many ghosts and bad memories. Moved to Chicago and never have looked back. It's got everything I need. I'll visit AR, but that's it.
 
2013-06-06 05:44:33 PM
I grew up moving around about once a year from 9 to 18. So there isn't a particular location on this earth I'm fond enough of that I could be homesick about. Hell, my family even just moved again. Back to Texas which I came about 20 miles away from the house I grew up in, after being away since 1994. As for home being where the heart is, I guess I love my family and such I just have no desire to live near/or with them again.
 
2013-06-06 05:59:50 PM

SpeedyBB: Aidan: sn0wblind: i'm quite the opposite...get that claustrophobic  feel after too long in one spot.

I get both. I want to live somewhere new, but so far I moved from big city to weird 'burbs and I miss the food and places in the big city. Now I'm aiming for mid-sized city.

/First-world problems right 'ere

I created a presentation along these lines, entitled "Homesick for Everywhere"


Really? Executive summary, please? Is it just that I'm not pleased with anything?
 
2013-06-06 06:01:04 PM

Reverend Monkeypants: I've been traveling pretty much my whole life so I don't suffer physical homesickness.  People I'll miss the fark out of though.

/DNRTFA


Oh lord yes.
 
2013-06-06 06:08:14 PM
I never get homesick. I also don't miss people when they're not around. Yay me?

/Introvert problems
//not really a problem
 
2013-06-06 06:17:11 PM

LDM90: I never get homesick. I also don't miss people when they're not around. Yay me?

/Introvert problems
//not really a problem


Being alone and being lonely are not the same thing. Homesick people feel lonely.
 
2013-06-06 06:21:13 PM
Here's what I've noticed being a problem with feeling homesick: when you leave the environment that you call home, your idea of that place gets frozen in time.

It's not a big deal if you're only gone for a few days, weeks or even months.

But when we start talking about years, if you ever move back in order to try to fix homesickness, you might find out that where you left from doesn't exist any more. So now, you have no place where you feel at home. You find out that when you feel homesick, you actually were missing the time, that's already passed, rather than the place itself.
 
2013-06-06 07:22:14 PM
I don't get homesick. I can be happy anywhere if my wife and cats are there with me. If they're not, happiness is impossible. But location has nothing to do with it.
 
2013-06-06 07:25:13 PM
Extreme Homesickness Makeover: people who have been away from home for many years are finally coming back. However, TLC's team of boffins have completely redesigned their houses, and their families and friends have been replaced by actors who insist that nothing's wrong. This autumn, you'll learn what they mean when they say "You can never go back."
 
2013-06-06 07:32:49 PM

pup.socket: I've been away from home for most of my adult life and I've never felt it. What is it like?




Same. I don't get it.
 
2013-06-06 07:37:51 PM
Grew up in the Midwest and left 20 years ago. There are things i miss about that part of the country but California is my home now.
 
2013-06-06 07:56:19 PM
In the next few months I'm going to be making a long distance move to a different region of the country. The city I'm moving to is about as populated as the one I'm moving from, but it's more remote (the city I live in now is close to many other towns and larger cities). I've only lived in the town I'm in now for about two years, but I don't have any friends here... so loss of friendships isn't going to be an issue. There aren't many leafy trees where I'm moving and I'm worried I'll miss them quite a bit. Out where I'm going it's mostly pine forests, mountains, and grassy expanses. So I'm sure the environment itself is going to 'feel' different to me. It's about two to three thousand feet higher in elevation too, but I don't think I'll notice that all that much.

Will I get homesick? Maybe. I think it's going to take a long time for it to feel like home... that's for sure. Hopefully I'll end up making some friends out there too, which just hasn't been the case where I am right now. I'm not anti-social... I work freelance from home, am married, and spend a lot of time taking care of my kids. So I don't find myself out in social scenarios all that often anymore.
 
2013-06-06 09:06:24 PM
In a tangentially related topic, Radiolab had an episode about sleep and why we do it. The episode focused a lot on parasomnial disorders, but went into some detail about how sleep came about after the first amphibians carved out a hole in the ground.

Essentially, the reptile portion of our brains that control aggression and fear are still very much active. In your home in your own bed you feel safe and secure so you get a good night of sleep. When you are in an unfamiliar place like a hotel or a friends house it is considered a "strange" place and that reptile brain screams at you, "You're not safe! Get up and run like hell!" It's probably why we consider hotel beds so uncomfortable. There may be nothing wrong with them, they just are not our nocturnal hangouts.

I imagne this is a lot of where homesickness comes from. You are away from your safe place and in "danger" according to your medulla oblongata.

If you have some time it's a pretty fascinating episode.
 
2013-06-06 11:59:45 PM
My hometown is an uninhabitable shiathole filled with meth heads and jesus freaks.  fark that place.
 
2013-06-07 01:46:07 AM
I grew up in a small town, in a house out in the middle of nowhere. I never felt like I was home until I moved to a city and moved into an apartment smack dab in the middle of downtown. Trains rumble past my place every fifteen minutes, I'm surrounded by noisy bars and clubs (and all the happy and/or mean noisy drunks), hear street sweeping and leaf blowers late at night every week, and of course hear emergency sirens all the time. When I visit my parents (still in the same house in the middle of nowhere), I hardly get any sleep because it's just too damn quiet. And that's when I feel homesick.
 
2013-06-07 03:28:23 AM

Car_Ramrod: What's strange about that? When I moved out to San Francisco for a few years, I definitely felt some homesickness, and I usually pride myself on willingness to travel and experience new things. I know of friends that moved overseas that felt the same thing. Some have been able to overcome it, some had to move back. I can understand how people who grew up in a tight knit small town are afraid to leave it for a big city and instead stay there their whole lives. I don't agree with it, but I understand it. Once you find a place that you gel with, it's hard to live anywhere else.


bingo. there is often a siren sound in a small town that keeps people nearby. it comes in the shape of family not far away, a good friend or two, the desire to teach at the school one attended, things like this.

since i was a child i saw families move South and return again. huge difference between a place when your on vacation tossing tourist dollars and when you're living where you're not welcome. birds of a feather do like to flock together and some don't share a nest well.
 
2013-06-07 05:48:32 AM
Father worked for the Airlines.  Every six months was a different city.

...what is this HOME you speak of?
 
2013-06-07 06:42:48 AM

Foxxinnia: Extreme Homesickness Makeover: people who have been away from home for many years are finally coming back. However, TLC's team of boffins have completely redesigned their houses, and their families and friends have been replaced by actors who insist that nothing's wrong. This autumn, you'll learn what they mean when they say "You can never go back."


I would watch this show if they were only on a week vacation. Call it Extreme Amnesia
 
2013-06-07 06:52:17 AM
I have never understood homesickness. I was ALWAYS happier away from home than in it when I was a kid, teen. Always.
 
2013-06-07 08:11:13 AM
I grew up in San Diego, and the only thing I get homesick for is the beach. All the people, all the small and ridiculously overvalued houses, all the congestion of life there - they can keep it.

\ Moved to Pittsburgh 22 years ago, been here ever since
\\ Yes, Pittsburgh
\\\ One trip back every decade seems to be enough
 
2013-06-07 09:11:15 AM
I was a military brat. If we didn't move, my friends did. Thankfully my dad had longer assignments, so I made some friends.

But, I also am one those people that feel lonely a lot.

I moved to Atlanta for a new job after college and got home sick for Savannah, where my dad retired. Savannah become home. And it was home because my family was there. As long as I was with my family, I was home. I ended up moving back to Savannah.

I don't regret moving to Atlanta or moving home to Savannah. I had always wanted to move to Atlanta. I learned a lot in Atlanta.

But, my mother did instill in me the love of getting in my car and just driving around. While I lived in Atlanta, I would get in the car I drive.

I did what I had to do to be happy. And right now, I am pretty happy.
 
2013-06-07 09:13:30 AM
Military Brat asks: Which home do you mean?

Wisconsin or Wisconsin II, or Michigan, or Michigan II, or Oklahoma City or Oklahoma City II, or Lexington I, II, III, IV, or.. ect.

Homesickness is nostalgia glasses physically manifesting. You can go back, but you can't turn back time.
 
2013-06-07 10:00:32 AM

Shirley Ujest: I have never understood homesickness. I was ALWAYS happier away from home than in it when I was a kid, teen. Always.


Same here; and it was a pretty good home.  Just had the irresistible urge to get away on my own, and see what else the World had to offer.  Quite a lot more, as it turned out!
 
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