Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(USA Today)   JaMarcus Russell given tryout with Bears to become Jay Cutler's backup, presumably as a member of the offensive line   (usatoday.com ) divider line
    More: Amusing, JaMarcus Russell, Chicago Bears, Elvis Dumervil, special teams, Anquan Boldin, Nnamdi Asomugha, Osi Umenyiora, Ravens  
•       •       •

1135 clicks; posted to Sports » on 05 Jun 2013 at 5:00 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



43 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-06-04 08:24:24 PM  
265? That's still pretty massive for an NFL QB.
 
2013-06-04 09:46:29 PM  

Incorrigible Astronaut: 265? That's still pretty massive for an NFL QB.


Ben Roethlisberger listed at 241.  But I bet it's closer to 265.  But, yes -still massive.  Not necessarily a negative though.
 
2013-06-04 11:28:56 PM  
Fark that fat lazy piece of shiat.

/and dumb
//it's hard to be a Raiders fan
 
2013-06-05 12:58:27 AM  
Gonna need a lot of purple drank to wash down all those deep dish pizzas.
 
2013-06-05 06:23:16 AM  
If Mike Tice is still there, I can see him trying to outthink everyone and use JaWalrus for something like punt return or WR.
 
2013-06-05 06:29:16 AM  
sfcitizen.com

Get the fark away from my Bears you sloth!
 
2013-06-05 06:56:01 AM  
People in Baltimore were freaking out over a report the Ravens might be interested.

I don't see why.

A) it's a workout - not a signing.
B) you need at least three QBs for training camp
C) JR would come cheap as anyone and with no real risk. If he's terrible you cut him in camp. Happens all the time.
D) if he's actually (finally) motivated and plays decently he's trade bait for a weaker team.

If he looks able to contribute at least as a third stringer for camp, it's a no lose situation.
 
2013-06-05 07:44:51 AM  
oh HELL no!
 
2013-06-05 07:56:16 AM  
The Bears will never sign him because he might outshine Cutler.

/ not that he would be worth a crap, but he could still outshine Cutler.
 
2013-06-05 08:02:53 AM  
If He Got His shiat Together, He Might Be A "Pillsbury Throwboy" Type Backup.
 
2013-06-05 08:11:29 AM  
ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease

*GASPINGBREATH*

ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease
 
2013-06-05 08:32:41 AM  
50 years of epic fail at the QB position, why quit now.
 
2013-06-05 08:59:31 AM  
Why not? Cutler is the perfect mentor and role model to show him how to motivate and inspire teammates with heroic effort and a positive attitude.
 
2013-06-05 09:15:00 AM  
It dismays me that the Redskins have not already signed him to a 3yr, $60m deal. I miss those Redskins.
 
2013-06-05 09:22:58 AM  
Jay Cutler does not play on the offensive line. Saying JaMarcus is going to try out to become Cutler's backup, presumably as a lineman makes no sense. None.

He could be trying out to be Cutler's backup, or he could presumably be trying out to be on the line. He can't do both. Joke doesn't work.
 
2013-06-05 09:34:52 AM  

Gonz: Joke doesn't work.


Most jokes don't work when you over-analyze them.
 
2013-06-05 09:38:09 AM  
If they're going to bring in JaWalrus, they just as well bring in Tebow as well.

Then detonate the practice facility with both of them inside.
 
2013-06-05 09:42:01 AM  

I sound fat: The Bears will never sign him because he might outshine Cutler.


Obvious troll is obvious.
 
2013-06-05 09:44:13 AM  

Snapper Carr: Gonz: Joke doesn't work.

Most jokes don't work when you over-analyze them.


It's not over-analysis. I mean, the gist of it is that Subby's trying to make a "JaMarcus is a great big fat person" joke, right?

So, go with that, but have something that makes sense in context. "Bears find possible replacement for Olin Kreutz" would work. Hell, go with really low-hanging fruit, make fun of Cutler, and still call JaMarcus obese- "Bears considering second diabetic QB".

Context matters.
 
2013-06-05 09:47:22 AM  
If someone takes him, I'd love to see a 2 QB goal line offensive set.  Line him up at fullback and the possibilities are endless.
 
2013-06-05 09:57:41 AM  

Mercutio74: If someone takes him, I'd love to see a 2 QB goal line offensive set.  Line him up at fullback and the possibilities are endless.


Worked for the jets?
 
2013-06-05 10:02:23 AM  

thecpt: Mercutio74: If someone takes him, I'd love to see a 2 QB goal line offensive set.  Line him up at fullback and the possibilities are endless.

Worked for the jets?


I meant having two QBs that could throw the ball in the offensive set.  I mean technically He-who-must-not-be-named could project a ball through the air, but it's hardly fair to call him a QB.
 
2013-06-05 10:03:11 AM  

I sound fat: The Bears will never sign him because he might outshine Cutler.

/ not that he would be worth a crap, but he could still outshine Cutler.


assets.sbnation.com
 
2013-06-05 10:04:50 AM  

Deneb81: People in Baltimore were freaking out over a report the Ravens might be interested.

I don't see why.

A) it's a workout - not a signing.
B) you need at least three QBs for training camp
C) JR would come cheap as anyone and with no real risk. If he's terrible you cut him in camp. Happens all the time.
D) if he's actually (finally) motivated and plays decently he's trade bait for a weaker team.

If he looks able to contribute at least as a third stringer for camp, it's a no lose situation.


I'd be OK if the Bears sign him for preseason. I never really saw him play out in Oakland, and it'd be a reason to watch the first couple of preseason games. He can't be worse than 2010 Todd Collins.
 
2013-06-05 10:08:12 AM  

Mercutio74: thecpt: Mercutio74: If someone takes him, I'd love to see a 2 QB goal line offensive set.  Line him up at fullback and the possibilities are endless.

Worked for the jets?

I meant having two QBs that could throw the ball in the offensive set.  I mean technically He-who-must-not-be-named could project a ball through the air, but it's hardly fair to call him a QB.


Wait, we talking Christ kid or el buttfumble?
 
2013-06-05 10:11:36 AM  
Sure he was fat and lazy in Oakland. But maybe seeing his future as an unemployed guy with lots of gaudy jewelry has straightened him out. He had some physical tools at least, if he got scared straight he might be worth a shot.

I don't see why anyone would be against having him in for a tryout. If he's still fat and lazy you aren't out shiat but the time it took to see that. Its not like fat is contagious or something. If he turns out to be serious and worth a roster spot he'd be a pretty cheap former #1 overall.

/he's a great player get over it
//thanks zombie Al
 
2013-06-05 10:15:34 AM  

Jubeebee: He can't be worse than 2010 Todd Collins.


Made myself curious, so I looked that up. In 2010, the Bears had Todd Collins as their 2nd string QB. In the regular season, Collins had two starts, went 10/27 for 68 yards, 0 TD, 5 INT.  In the NFCCG, he went 0/4.

The bar is pretty low for Bears QBs in general. Moreso for Bears backup QBs. Russell could probably eat his way onto the team and not be demonstrably worse than Collins.
 
2013-06-05 10:18:06 AM  

Gonz: Snapper Carr: Gonz: Joke doesn't work.

Most jokes don't work when you over-analyze them.

It's not over-analysis. I mean, the gist of it is that Subby's trying to make a "JaMarcus is a great big fat person" joke, right?

So, go with that, but have something that makes sense in context. "Bears find possible replacement for Olin Kreutz" would work. Hell, go with really low-hanging fruit, make fun of Cutler, and still call JaMarcus obese- "Bears considering second diabetic QB".

Context matters.


...and yet neither one of those is as good as subby's busted joke. Nice job.
 
2013-06-05 10:33:26 AM  
Can't see a problem with this. He's got talent, just like cutler.
 
2013-06-05 10:34:13 AM  

Gonz: Jay Cutler does not play on the offensive line. Saying JaMarcus is going to try out to become Cutler's backup, presumably as a lineman makes no sense. None.

He could be trying out to be Cutler's backup, or he could presumably be trying out to be on the line. He can't do both. Joke doesn't work.


Here are some your greenlights that you so proudly trumpet:

It's your Open Championship discussion thread. What does it take to get one of these greened? Hope Solo? OK, fine. Hope Solo climbs up the leaderboard at Royal St. Georges

Kentucky beats North Carolina with a blocked shot in the final seconds. Duke sucks

Pillsbury Throwboy to attempt to attempt to get another ring by backing up a Manning.

C'mon, really?

/Now go and claim you were just trolling
 
2013-06-05 12:25:59 PM  
I have no problem giving this previously worthless pile of crap a tryout for my favorite team, but then again I know the difference between a tryout and a signing.

/bears fan
/also: give Tebow a tryout. Why not?
 
2013-06-05 12:47:40 PM  

Snapper Carr: Gonz: Joke doesn't work.

Most jokes don't work when you over-analyze them.


I killed a dolphin responding to this.
 
2013-06-05 01:01:38 PM  

DeathByGeekSquad: Snapper Carr: Gonz: Joke doesn't work.

Most jokes don't work when you over-analyze them.

I killed a dolphin responding to this.


I don't see the porpoise of this post.
 
2013-06-05 01:12:03 PM  

FLMountainMan: /Now go and claim you were just trolling


Why would I do that? I don't think the joke works, that's all. Claiming I was trolling would be stupid.
 
2013-06-05 01:21:12 PM  

abhorrent1: I sound fat: The Bears will never sign him because he might outshine Cutler.

/ not that he would be worth a crap, but he could still outshine Cutler.

[assets.sbnation.com image 500x334]


Never seen this GIF before, but it's about to get a lot of mileage from me this season.
 
2013-06-05 01:35:12 PM  

abhorrent1: [sfcitizen.com image 600x358]

Get the fark away from my Bears you sloth!


Unequivocally this. I don't give a fark that Trestman is the QB doctor or wizard or what have you. Let JaWalrus figure his shiat out in the CFL before getting another shot at an NFL starting gig that he blew so spectacularly.

/this would be such a textbook McCaskey move if it did happen
 
2013-06-05 01:58:34 PM  

INeedAName: It dismays me that the Redskins have not already signed him to a 3yr, $60m deal. I miss those Redskins.


I know a few years ago they would have tried to get him and Tebow for three times that and everyone would be dancing in the streets about a superbowl next year.
 
2013-06-05 03:39:33 PM  
Jay Cutler is shaking in his boots!

...no, wait, that's just the ground shaking from JaMarcus' wind sprints...
 
2013-06-05 05:33:24 PM  
Return of The Fridge!
 
2013-06-05 05:50:48 PM  

Guelph35: If they're going to bring in JaWalrus, they just as well bring in Tebow as well.

Then detonate the practice facility with both of them inside.


That would be a fun camp.  One guy that has all the talent in the world and absolutely no drive, dedication, or work ethic and another that has little talent but works harder than most anyone else.

Somebody on the offensive coaching staff would go postal in under a week.
 
2013-06-05 08:10:10 PM  
As a Packer backer, I'm getting a kick out of this...
 
2013-06-05 08:20:59 PM  

Deneb81: People in Baltimore were freaking out over a report the Ravens might be interested.

I don't see why.

A) it's a workout - not a signing.
B) you need at least three QBs for training camp
C) JR would come cheap as anyone and with no real risk. If he's terrible you cut him in camp. Happens all the time.
D) if he's actually (finally) motivated and plays decently he's trade bait for a weaker team.

If he looks able to contribute at least as a third stringer for camp, it's a no lose situation.


Yeah, it really seems like a low risk thing to try out.  If he's lost 35+ pounds it shows he's at least trying.  Maybe he finally has his head screwed on straight.
 
2013-06-06 01:49:12 AM  
farm9.staticflickr.com
 
Displayed 43 of 43 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter






In Other Media
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report