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(BBC)   Sure, the Finns put babies in boxes and get praised for having one of the world's lowest infant mortality rates. I put a baby in a box and suddenly I'm "grossly misusing the US postal system"   (bbc.co.uk) divider line 56
    More: Interesting, National Institute for Health, quality of lives  
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4903 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Jun 2013 at 9:01 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-06-04 08:58:40 AM
It's sounds all good until you realize those boxes are made out of ticky-tacky and they all look just the same.
 
2013-06-04 08:59:34 AM
*IT* sounds.

/Keee-riced.
 
2013-06-04 09:03:41 AM
Did you remember to poke air holes?
 
2013-06-04 09:05:55 AM

Nogale: Did you remember to poke air holes?


No need; babies automatically come with a few.
 
2013-06-04 09:06:31 AM
Subby:Headline.  You magnificent bastard.
 
2013-06-04 09:07:09 AM

dragonchild: Nogale: Did you remember to poke air holes?

No need; babies automatically come with a few.


Some more than others.
 
2013-06-04 09:10:03 AM
Finland is the capital of Norway.
 
2013-06-04 09:10:49 AM
Should have used Brown, they have better insurance on the shipping in event of package loss
 
2013-06-04 09:14:45 AM
looking at the contents...why does a baby need condoms?
 
2013-06-04 09:15:52 AM

IdBeCrazyIf: Should have used Brown, they have better insurance on the shipping in event of package loss


it's for a baby, it'll be brown soon enough.
 
2013-06-04 09:17:03 AM

redTiburon: looking at the contents...why does a baby need condoms?


"You just had a baby.  Do you really want another right now?"

This box sounds like an awesome idea.  Can we make this mandatory in America like yesterday?
 
2013-06-04 09:17:20 AM

redTiburon: looking at the contents...why does a baby need condoms?


Because The Dutch in old Amsterdam do it, not to mention the Fins.
 
2013-06-04 09:19:23 AM

redTiburon: looking at the contents...why does a baby need condoms?


It prevents babies having babies.

/It also turns them into whores.
 
2013-06-04 09:21:03 AM
Meanwhile in corporate-ruled 'merika:
i1151.photobucket.com
GE salutes the birth of your child by offering you a 10% discount on small kitchen appliances!
 
2013-06-04 09:21:15 AM

dittybopper: It's sounds all good until you realize those boxes are made out of ticky-tacky and they all look just the same.


Boobies wins.
 
2013-06-04 09:22:28 AM

redTiburon: looking at the contents...why does a baby need condoms?


Its for the dad, often new babies are created withing a few months of childbirth.
 
2013-06-04 09:27:19 AM

max_pooper: dittybopper: It's sounds all good until you realize those boxes are made out of ticky-tacky and they all look just the same.

Boobies wins.


Boobies always win.
 
2013-06-04 09:29:43 AM
fc03.deviantart.net
 
2013-06-04 09:33:36 AM

MindStalker: Its for the dad, often new babies are created withing a few months of childbirth.


In the name of God; HOW?

I am not asking the mechanics, simply when? Mom is covered in alternate coats of crap, milk vurps, and not infrequently outright vomit. Mom is getting up every couple hours to run the cycle. When is there an opportunity for sexy time in all that? We had to wait almost two years to set about making another.
 
2013-06-04 09:40:14 AM
SOCIALIS.....no, wait.....WON'T SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDR.....hold on, that isn't right.....I'm so confused
 
2013-06-04 09:44:04 AM
i3.mirror.co.uk

"NOBODY put's baby in a box. Me, on the other hand..."
 
2013-06-04 09:46:52 AM
This is one of those excellent ideas that, if implemented in the U.S., would be politicized, undermined, corrupted, taken over and turned into a steaming pile of corporate welfare before the bill had even left committee.
 
2013-06-04 09:52:46 AM
Meanwhile the US has the highest infant mortality rate in the developed world.

But, hey, SOCIALISM!
 
2013-06-04 10:20:24 AM
Ehrmagerd, SOSHULIZIMZ!!!1! This is horrible!!

/derp
 
2013-06-04 10:21:22 AM

Carn: redTiburon: looking at the contents...why does a baby need condoms?

"You just had a baby.  Do you really want another right now?"

This box sounds like an awesome idea.  Can we make this mandatory in America like yesterday?



What? You mean a minor investment into the health of a baby and some gentle nudging to remind people NOT to have another one right away is a good idea?

Sounds like this program has a super high ROI.
 
2013-06-04 10:29:00 AM
I know what you mean,subby. You make one small error in judgement and all of a sudden you become "that guy who tried to ship a baby in a box".
 
2013-06-04 10:32:03 AM

dittybopper: It's sounds all good until you realize those boxes are made out of ticky-tacky and they all look just the same.


Well played.  Except I now have Pete Seeger stuck in my head, f*cker.
 
2013-06-04 10:39:25 AM
Locker at the bus station?
 
2013-06-04 10:41:24 AM
Hey, Nova Scotia did that last century, with butter boxes...er wait..

/sorry
 
2013-06-04 11:03:31 AM

dragonchild: This is one of those excellent ideas that, if implemented in the U.S., would be politicized, undermined, corrupted, taken over and turned into a steaming pile of corporate welfare before the bill had even left committee.


6/4/13: A Senate bill is introduced in commitee to provide all new children with a box full of useful things.

6/5/13: Right Wing Blogosphere explodes in outrage over the government trying to take over our children's minds.

6/6/13: Fox News reports that Obama's new program, called the "Islamist Youth" effort by some, is a scandal worse than twenty Watergates combined with finding a pile of dead hookers in the Lincoln bedroom.

6/7/13: Other cable news outlets report that even though the box just contains clothes and health supplies most analysts agree is would be bad for the government shove propaganda into the home of every new child.

6/9/13: The Sunday talk shows feature the Senator who introduced the bill, attacking him for foolishly instituting a program that would cost Americans precious pennies every year. Doesn't he know there's a recession?

6/24/13: The bill is brought before the Senate having been edited so that it is financed by letting corporations sponsor it with branded items. The decision about what items are included and which corporations sponsor the bill requires an addendum hundreds of pages long.

7/1/13: The bill goes to the House. Ted Cruz introduces a competing bill to give every baby a copy of the Bible, a FairTax pamphlet, and a chastity belt. It dies in committee but the media reports on it heavily for days.

7/4/13: The House adds a rider to the bill repealing Obamacare and requiring that the box not go to any who receive welfare, as well as several more regulations about what can be included in the box.

7/7/13: The Conference Committee strikes the Obamacare resolution and synthesizes a new bill from the ones passed by the House and Senate.

7/22/13: The new bill passes Congress and is signed by the President. Nobody really knows how it will work in the real world.

9/17/14: New parents are finally allowed to fill out forms to request the box for their baby. The forms require a high fee, credit check, and drug test to screen out those that are undeserving. Processing takes 14-18 months as local governments sort out the parents eligibility and figure out what they are allowed to put in the box this year. The box usually contains a corporate branded blanket, a McDonalds gift card, a voucher for a free Bible, and several cans of corn.
 
2013-06-04 11:20:28 AM
not a bad idea, more places should do that
 
2013-06-04 11:33:55 AM

Sidoko: Meanwhile the US has the highest infant mortality rate in the developed world.

But, hey, SOCIALISM!


The US is #1 (or at least shockingly high) in all kinds of categories (bad stuff) across the developed world. Bottom line IMHO is that it's absolutely hands-down the worst first world nation to be in if you aren't upper-middle class.

/first world problems
 
2013-06-04 12:01:21 PM

odinsposse: 6/4/13: A Senate bill is introduced in commitee to provide all new children with a box full of useful things.


This entire post is beautiful.  And horrifying.
 
2013-06-04 12:04:31 PM

odinsposse: dragonchild: This is one of those excellent ideas that, if implemented in the U.S., would be politicized, undermined, corrupted, taken over and turned into a steaming pile of corporate welfare before the bill had even left committee.

6/4/13: A Senate bill is introduced in commitee to provide all new children with a box full of useful things.

6/5/13: Right Wing Blogosphere explodes in outrage over the government trying to take over our children's minds.

6/6/13: Fox News reports that Obama's new program, called the "Islamist Youth" effort by some, is a scandal worse than twenty Watergates combined with finding a pile of dead hookers in the Lincoln bedroom.

6/7/13: Other cable news outlets report that even though the box just contains clothes and health supplies most analysts agree is would be bad for the government shove propaganda into the home of every new child.

6/9/13: The Sunday talk shows feature the Senator who introduced the bill, attacking him for foolishly instituting a program that would cost Americans precious pennies every year. Doesn't he know there's a recession?

6/24/13: The bill is brought before the Senate having been edited so that it is financed by letting corporations sponsor it with branded items. The decision about what items are included and which corporations sponsor the bill requires an addendum hundreds of pages long.

7/1/13: The bill goes to the House. Ted Cruz introduces a competing bill to give every baby a copy of the Bible, a FairTax pamphlet, and a chastity belt. It dies in committee but the media reports on it heavily for days.

7/4/13: The House adds a rider to the bill repealing Obamacare and requiring that the box not go to any who receive welfare, as well as several more regulations about what can be included in the box.

7/7/13: The Conference Committee strikes the Obamacare resolution and synthesizes a new bill from the ones passed by the House and Senate.

7/22/13: The new bill passes Congress and is signed by the Presid ...


Why corn and not green beans?
 
2013-06-04 12:06:48 PM
"It's my kid in a box"
 
2013-06-04 12:12:31 PM

odinsposse: dragonchild: This is one of those excellent ideas that, if implemented in the U.S., would be politicized, undermined, corrupted, taken over and turned into a steaming pile of corporate welfare before the bill had even left committee.

6/4/13: A Senate bill is introduced in commitee to provide all new children with a box full of useful things.

6/5/13: Right Wing Blogosphere explodes in outrage over the government trying to take over our children's minds.

6/6/13: Fox News reports that Obama's new program, called the "Islamist Youth" effort by some, is a scandal worse than twenty Watergates combined with finding a pile of dead hookers in the Lincoln bedroom.

6/7/13: Other cable news outlets report that even though the box just contains clothes and health supplies most analysts agree is would be bad for the government shove propaganda into the home of every new child.

6/9/13: The Sunday talk shows feature the Senator who introduced the bill, attacking him for foolishly instituting a program that would cost Americans precious pennies every year. Doesn't he know there's a recession?

6/24/13: The bill is brought before the Senate having been edited so that it is financed by letting corporations sponsor it with branded items. The decision about what items are included and which corporations sponsor the bill requires an addendum hundreds of pages long.

7/1/13: The bill goes to the House. Ted Cruz introduces a competing bill to give every baby a copy of the Bible, a FairTax pamphlet, and a chastity belt. It dies in committee but the media reports on it heavily for days.

7/4/13: The House adds a rider to the bill repealing Obamacare and requiring that the box not go to any who receive welfare, as well as several more regulations about what can be included in the box.

7/7/13: The Conference Committee strikes the Obamacare resolution and synthesizes a new bill from the ones passed by the House and Senate.

7/22/13: The new bill passes Congress and is signed by the Presid ...


Essentially, all of this. And I love you a little bit.
 
2013-06-04 12:14:00 PM

Kyro: odinsposse: 6/4/13: A Senate bill is introduced in commitee to provide all new children with a box full of useful things.

This entire post is beautiful.  And horrifying.


Thanks for TF! I'll be sure to abuse it appropriately.
 
2013-06-04 12:19:01 PM
"Mothers have a choice between taking the box, or a cash grant, currently set at 140 euros, but 95% opt for the box as it's worth much more"

So if the box is worth more, why is taking cash an option?
 
2013-06-04 12:21:05 PM

Cloudchaser Sakonige the Red Wolf: "Mothers have a choice between taking the box, or a cash grant, currently set at 140 euros, but 95% opt for the box as it's worth much more"

So if the box is worth more, why is taking cash an option?


Maybe it's because the clothes are recyclable and can be passed down to a younger sibling so having cash so you can purchase things that don't come in the box (like extra nappies and bottles for storing breast milk) might be a good idea.
 
2013-06-04 12:26:32 PM

Trillian Astra: Cloudchaser Sakonige the Red Wolf: "Mothers have a choice between taking the box, or a cash grant, currently set at 140 euros, but 95% opt for the box as it's worth much more"

So if the box is worth more, why is taking cash an option?

Maybe it's because the clothes are recyclable and can be passed down to a younger sibling so having cash so you can purchase things that don't come in the box (like extra nappies and bottles for storing breast milk) might be a good idea.


In fact, most of the things in the box, including the box itself, can be re-used if taken care of.  Only the consumables (nappy cream, bra pads, and condoms) aren't, and they make up just a fraction of the box.
 
2013-06-04 12:27:56 PM

dragonchild: This is one of those excellent ideas that, if implemented in the U.S., would be politicized, undermined, corrupted, taken over and turned into a steaming pile of corporate welfare before the bill had even left committee.


I'd love to see this as a topic of discussion on 'The McLaughlin Group'.

www.rawstory.com

"Issue one: Baby in a box - Pat".
 
2013-06-04 12:48:00 PM
Kuni: You took the box? Let's see what's in the box!

[Hiro-san opens the box; the audience gasps. There is a silence]

Kuni: Nothing! Absolutely nothing! STUPID! You're so STU-PIIIIIIIIIIID!
 
2013-06-04 12:52:19 PM

redTiburon: looking at the contents...why does a baby need condoms?


That's for Mommy and Daddy. It's very helpful in preventing back to back pregnancies (breastfeeding isn't a 100%, just ask my Mom).

I really like this idea, the US has a horrible infant mortality rate and this really could help poor children. Tying it to pre-natal care is a brilliant idea to further reduce rates.
 
2013-06-04 01:07:09 PM

Langdon Alger: Let's see what's in the box!


www.androidguys.com

"C'MON! WHAT'S IN THE BOX?"
 
2013-06-04 01:09:11 PM
USPS Regulations make it a criminal offense to mail bricks.

True story
 
2013-06-04 01:19:54 PM
I envision going to Ikea and finding a box with baby and supplies on display with a list of the parts needed to assemble barn i en låda

/yes I know ikea is Swedish and not Finnish
 
2013-06-04 01:30:58 PM

Karl LaFong: Langdon Alger: Let's see what's in the box!

[www.androidguys.com image 600x329]

"C'MON! WHAT'S IN THE BOX?"


i1.ytimg.com

Nothing! Absolutely nothing! STUPID! You're so STU-PIIIIIIIIIIID!
 
2013-06-04 04:18:01 PM

Trillian Astra: Cloudchaser Sakonige the Red Wolf: "Mothers have a choice between taking the box, or a cash grant, currently set at 140 euros, but 95% opt for the box as it's worth much more"

So if the box is worth more, why is taking cash an option?

Maybe it's because the clothes are recyclable and can be passed down to a younger sibling so having cash so you can purchase things that don't come in the box (like extra nappies and bottles for storing breast milk) might be a good idea.


They gave an example in the article. The mother had an older boy, she did not need more clothes for the new sister.
 
2013-06-04 04:46:26 PM

odinsposse: several cans of corn


It better damn well be creamed corn or there will be hell to pay!
 
2013-06-04 05:14:14 PM
Came for UHF and Brad Pitt. Satisfied that no one should want what's in the box.
 
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