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(WWLTV New Orleans)   "So many, that I can't remember how many" is never the best answer, no matter what question the Police Officer has asked you   (wwltv.com) divider line 55
    More: Dumbass, Houma, breathalyzers  
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6685 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Jun 2013 at 2:35 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-06-03 01:17:39 PM
I'll take, "How many sex partners have you had?' for 100, Alex.
 
2013-06-03 01:31:11 PM
No, officer, I have not had anything to drink.

No, officer, I have not had ANYTHING to drink.

How many times does that have to be repeated for people to get it through their thick skulls! THEY ASK THINGS THE WAY THEY ASK FOR A REASON: PROBABLE CAUSE!
 
2013-06-03 01:32:08 PM
He performed poorly on field sobriety tests and a breathalyzer test measured his blood alcohol level at .252 percent.

The answer is: way too many
 
2013-06-03 01:43:40 PM
Not that it would have helped him being so stinking drunk, but the proper answer to ANY question EVER asked by a police offer under ANY circumstances is No comment.
 
2013-06-03 02:36:38 PM
Only if he asks you how many blowjobs you've gotten that night.
 
2013-06-03 02:39:22 PM

nekom: Not that it would have helped him being so stinking drunk, but the proper answer to ANY question EVER asked by a police offer under ANY circumstances is No comment.


No way. If you can convince most officers that you're not currently intoxicated, answer questions deferentially, and affect an air of pleasant cluelessness, they'll leave you be most of the time. Also don't be brown/black.
 
2013-06-03 02:39:58 PM
All together now the new American National Anthem:

"Am I being detained or am I free to go,
I do not want to talk to the police,
No you can't enter my home to talk.
No I will not step outside to talk to you,
I do not consent to searches,
I do not consent to searches,
I want an attorney,
I want an attorney, "
 
2013-06-03 02:40:53 PM
What about "How many plunger handles do you want in your ass?"
 
2013-06-03 02:42:44 PM

nekom: Not that it would have helped him being so stinking drunk, but the proper answer to ANY question EVER asked by a police offer under ANY circumstances is No comment.

Do you have probable cause, or a warrant?
 
2013-06-03 02:43:20 PM
How about if they ask, "Sir? How many times did you say that you had contributed to the PBA?"
 
2013-06-03 02:44:54 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: He performed poorly on field sobriety tests and a breathalyzer test measured his blood alcohol level at .252 percent.

The answer is: way too many


Well, in his defense, you'd have to be nuts to drive a street bike anyway.  So, maybe he just needed to loosen up a little.

But, man, .252...  Holy crap!  That's one bombed dude.
 
2013-06-03 02:46:18 PM

SoupJohnB: How about if they ask, "Sir? How many times did you say that you had contributed to the PBA?"


Why would cops care about bowling?
 
2013-06-03 02:47:52 PM
Driving a car wasted is stupid. Riding a motorcycle wasted is suicidal.
 
2013-06-03 02:48:42 PM
How many kids did you save from that burning orphanage?
 
2013-06-03 02:48:53 PM
Riding a motorcycle drunk is basically attempted suicide.
 
2013-06-03 02:50:30 PM
How many doughnuts did you bring today?
 
2013-06-03 02:52:08 PM

show me: SoupJohnB: How about if they ask, "Sir? How many times did you say that you had contributed to the PBA?"

Why would cops care about bowling?


no no, PBA is that chemical in plastics you aren't suppose to microwave.
 
2013-06-03 02:52:15 PM

hardinparamedic: No, officer, I have not had anything to drink.

No, officer, I have not had ANYTHING to drink.

How many times does that have to be repeated for people to get it through their thick skulls! THEY ASK THINGS THE WAY THEY ASK FOR A REASON: PROBABLE CAUSE!


If you show any signs of impairment, you're going to get hit with a Breathalyzer no matter what you say, so you might as well say nothing. Having the cop testify that you lied about not having had anything to drink when the DA can prove that you had just impairs your credibility at a hearing or trial. So hand over your license and registration, and when the cop starts asking you questions, just say "You have my license and registration. I don't want to answer any other questions."
 
2013-06-03 02:52:33 PM

durbnpoisn: Well, in his defense, you'd have to be nuts to drive a street bike anyway.  So, maybe he just needed to loosen up a little.

But, man, .252...  Holy crap!  That's one bombed dude.


Heh... I heard that

/I've been hit three times on motorcycles and twice on bicycles
//I've stopped riding
 
2013-06-03 02:56:31 PM
"How many days has passed since your last drink?"
 
2013-06-03 02:57:18 PM
"How many judges, police commissioners and other city officials am I related to?"
 
2013-06-03 02:57:37 PM

show me: SoupJohnB: How about if they ask, "Sir? How many times did you say that you had contributed to the PBA?"

Why would cops care about bowling?


"STFU, Donnie"

/there are rules, man
 
2013-06-03 02:59:27 PM
I was giving a friend a ride home after leaving a bar and got pulled over for speeding.

State cop: you've been drinking, how many did you have, One???
Me: No, I had 9 over approximately a 7 hour period.
State Cop: Okay, after you drop your friend off drive straight home. mmmkay?
Me: Yes, Thank you sir.

/this was 1983.
//times have changed.
 
2013-06-03 03:00:34 PM
How many times have you fantasized about farkettes Megarian and Tin-Foil Maggie going at it?

/only because I'm fresh from the women-like-sex thread
 
2013-06-03 03:01:11 PM
"How many answers to questions I've asked of you have you given to me?"
 
2013-06-03 03:05:16 PM

Pichu0102: "How many answers to questions I've asked of you have you given to me?"


That one would get me into trouble, even if I was perfectly sober.
 
2013-06-03 03:11:00 PM
yeah, but if you're gonna get popped for dui you might as well have some fun.

csb time:  in the early 80's my cousin and i were moderately impaired...got pulled over.   they had my cousin do a "unique" field sobriety test.  the cop took a handful of change out of his pocket and dropped the coins on the ground.

"pick up the quarters for me."

"thank you, now the dimes."

"awesome, and the nickels..."

my cousin bent over, picked up the nickels, looked up and said,

"I suppose you want the farkin' pennies too."

well, the cop about split a gut...then took him away in handcuffs.
 
2013-06-03 03:18:18 PM
Cop interrogating kid:  "Do you know why I'm here?"

Kid:  "Because you got all C's  in high school?"
 
2013-06-03 03:19:49 PM

OgreMagi: How many times have you fantasized about farkettes Megarian and Tin-Foil Maggie going at it?

/only because I'm fresh from the women-like-sex thread


*raises hand* I have.
 
2013-06-03 03:23:39 PM

Uzzah: hardinparamedic: No, officer, I have not had anything to drink.

No, officer, I have not had ANYTHING to drink.

How many times does that have to be repeated for people to get it through their thick skulls! THEY ASK THINGS THE WAY THEY ASK FOR A REASON: PROBABLE CAUSE!

If you show any signs of impairment, you're going to get hit with a Breathalyzer no matter what you say, so you might as well say nothing. Having the cop testify that you lied about not having had anything to drink when the DA can prove that you had just impairs your credibility at a hearing or trial. So hand over your license and registration, and when the cop starts asking you questions, just say "You have my license and registration. I don't want to answer any other questions."


Sure -
pioneerspress.com

ever been tapped with a baton?
 
2013-06-03 03:24:26 PM

hardinparamedic: No, officer, I have not had anything to drink.

No, officer, I have not had ANYTHING to drink.

How many times does that have to be repeated for people to get it through their thick skulls! THEY ASK THINGS THE WAY THEY ASK FOR A REASON: PROBABLE CAUSE!


Doc...if he blew a .252 it's safe to say they had more than enough probable cause even if he'd lied and said he didn't even drink water.
 
2013-06-03 03:26:44 PM

hardinparamedic: No, officer, I have not had anything to drink.

No, officer, I have not had ANYTHING to drink.

How many times does that have to be repeated for people to get it through their thick skulls! THEY ASK THINGS THE WAY THEY ASK FOR A REASON: PROBABLE CAUSE!


The upside to this guy's story is that given the circumstances he really didn't say anything wrong. The downside is that he was so drunk it didn't matter what he said. Something, nothing, confess to the Kennedy assassination. He was going to jail and nothing he said would make his case any better or worse.
 
2013-06-03 03:37:30 PM

megarian: OgreMagi: How many times have you fantasized about farkettes Megarian and Tin-Foil Maggie going at it?

/only because I'm fresh from the women-like-sex thread

*raises hand* I have.


Go on .....
 
2013-06-03 03:39:19 PM

hardinparamedic: No, officer, I have not had anything to drink.

No, officer, I have not had ANYTHING to drink.

How many times does that have to be repeated for people to get it through their thick skulls! THEY ASK THINGS THE WAY THEY ASK FOR A REASON: PROBABLE CAUSE!


I kindly disagree.  If you have had several drinks a well-trained cop will know if you admit to absolutely none. They do prefer a modicum of honesty. Even if you downed a six pack within the hour before being pulled over, it's better to admit to two or three over several hours. I've seen this happen when I was with a friend and we got pulled over.  He is the one who told me this because several of his friends were cops.

As for motorcycles, the guy in question is a complete and utter moron. The rule for bikers is two wheels, two drinks.  Anymore, and they automatically sign themselves up to be organ donors.
 
2013-06-03 03:48:30 PM
I once got pulled over after being borderline and driving like an idiot.  Flashing lights sobered me up real quick.  I was polite and mostly honest.  He asked if I'd been drinking and how much I'd had and I said a couple.  He said what, couple two, couple four, eight? I said couple four.  He gave me the field test and I passed.  Pupils, stand on one foot, walk the line (was in marching band for four years, booyah).  Alphabet backwards from T to D.  That was the hardest.  If you're drunk and stupid you're supposed to say "I couldn't do that sober!".  As is I nailed it and they let me go with a "we get a lot of crime in your neighborhood, give us a call if you hear anything."  You bet your ass I will, Coolest Officer On the Planet!

/Fairfax Co. VA
 
2013-06-03 03:57:45 PM

obamadidcoke: All together now the new American National Anthem:

"Am I being detained or am I free to go,
I do not want to talk to the police,
No you can't enter my home to talk.
No I will not step outside to talk to you,
I do not consent to searches,
I do not consent to searches,
I want an attorney,
I want an attorney, "


I've actually sung the national Anthem in two-part harmony with a Miss USA winner at an official event (had to sing "God Save the Queen", too, since we were in England at the time), so I'm having a hell of a time fitting this to To Anacreon In H'ven.

But I think if you round it off with "O, say, does that star spangled banner yet wave/o'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?", we could get there.  It's not much worse than every verse of the Star Spangled Banner after the first.

Also, the first and third lines, and the second and fourth lines should rhyme.
 
2013-06-03 03:57:49 PM

show me: Driving a car wasted is stupid. Riding a motorcycle wasted is suicidal.


OgreMagi: Riding a motorcycle drunk is basically attempted suicide.


Great minds, etc. etc.
 
2013-06-03 04:31:35 PM

UrukHaiGuyz: nekom: Not that it would have helped him being so stinking drunk, but the proper answer to ANY question EVER asked by a police offer under ANY circumstances is No comment.

No way. If you can convince most officers that you're not currently intoxicated, answer questions deferentially, and affect an air of pleasant cluelessness, they'll leave you be most of the time. Also don't be brown/black.


Once you get that last part down it becomes rather easy. Even easier if you can be female/hot.
 
2013-06-03 04:36:07 PM

Jake Havechek: Only if he asks you how many blowjobs you've gotten that night.


Even then, if you're a few blocks from an elementary school you may not want to answer that.
 
rpm
2013-06-03 04:38:09 PM
"So many, that I can't remember how many" is never the best answer, no matter what question the Police Officer has asked you

"How many times have you donated to the police charity?"
 
2013-06-03 04:40:30 PM
CSB Time:

Cop pulls me over for speeding -- missed the speed trap sign and only saw the ones before and after that were something like 15 MPH faster.

Cop: I smell alcohol, have you been drinking?
Me: ... Nooooo.
Cop: So why do I smell alcohol?
Me: ... My car's a pigsty, probably something fermenting on the floorboard.

It was hilarity having my car searched and the cop picking up stuff on the floorboard.  Especially when he picked up one thing... Stared at the floor for a few seconds... then disgustedly dropped whatever he'd picked up.

One speeding ticket later, I was on my way.

Did I mention I'd dropped off two VERY drunk friends just a half hour before?  Nope.  Not gonna go through the inevitable questioning for that.

Pity, now I have a newer car and I'm actually making an effort at keeping it clean.
 
2013-06-03 04:52:23 PM

Carn: I once got pulled over after being borderline and driving like an idiot.  Flashing lights sobered me up real quick.  I was polite and mostly honest.  He asked if I'd been drinking and how much I'd had and I said a couple.  He said what, couple two, couple four, eight? I said couple four.  He gave me the field test and I passed.  Pupils, stand on one foot, walk the line (was in marching band for four years, booyah).  Alphabet backwards from T to D.  That was the hardest.  If you're drunk and stupid you're supposed to say "I couldn't do that sober!".  As is I nailed it and they let me go with a "we get a lot of crime in your neighborhood, give us a call if you hear anything."  You bet your ass I will, Coolest Officer On the Planet!

/Fairfax Co. VA


Fairfax county?  You're lucky they didn't beat and then arrest you.   That's the county that arrested people for being drunk in a farking bar.
 
2013-06-03 04:59:19 PM
"so many drinks that he could not remember how many,"

thats the quote?  So he was talking in 3rd person?
 
2013-06-03 05:03:27 PM

obamadidcoke: All together now the new American National Anthem:

"Am I being detained or am I free to go,
I do not want to talk to the police,
No you can't enter my home to talk.
No I will not step outside to talk to you,
I do not consent to searches,
I do not consent to searches,
I want an attorney,
I want an attorney, "


Too many people don't have the nerve to understand that they have a fundamental right not to speak to the police. Many of us (myself included) have wanted to be helpful but instead got screwed. I'm not one of Fark's many vehemently anti-cop folks, but it's my farking fundamental right and I will exercise it if I have to. Even though I'm innocent, "name, rank, and serial" is all you get from me. I understand that cops appreciate cooperation, but you never know when it will be twisted and used against you.

STFU and ask for a law-talking guy.
 
2013-06-03 05:08:41 PM

T.rex: "so many drinks that he could not remember how many,"

thats the quote?  So he was talking in 3rd person?


Some people like to narrate their lives, he replied
 
2013-06-03 05:36:42 PM

rpm: "So many, that I can't remember how many" is never the best answer, no matter what question the Police Officer has asked you

"How many times have you donated to the police charity?"


^ THIS.

Entirely agreed, and you get a Smartest flag! So long as you have the bumper stickers to prove that. I have two on the back of my truck; a "Top Level Supporter for Texas State Troopers Association and "TSTA Supporter 2012".

/need to get my 2013 one ASAP
 
2013-06-03 05:42:36 PM

Lsherm: Carn: I once got pulled over after being borderline and driving like an idiot.  Flashing lights sobered me up real quick.  I was polite and mostly honest.  He asked if I'd been drinking and how much I'd had and I said a couple.  He said what, couple two, couple four, eight? I said couple four.  He gave me the field test and I passed.  Pupils, stand on one foot, walk the line (was in marching band for four years, booyah).  Alphabet backwards from T to D.  That was the hardest.  If you're drunk and stupid you're supposed to say "I couldn't do that sober!".  As is I nailed it and they let me go with a "we get a lot of crime in your neighborhood, give us a call if you hear anything."  You bet your ass I will, Coolest Officer On the Planet!

/Fairfax Co. VA

Fairfax county?  You're lucky they didn't beat and then arrest you.   That's the county that arrested people for being drunk in a farking bar.


I know and it's why I try to be anal about drinking and driving.  I figure I used up my once close call, not gonna get any more.
 
2013-06-03 06:10:13 PM
Gotta say that it's sometimes wise to fess up, especially if you've already been caught and alcohol is obviously present in your system.

LEO: "How many drinks have you had this evening?"
Me: "I'd honestly be lying if I told you."
LEO: "How far do you have to drive?"

Typical fare in my early 20's.  Be respectful, don't lie, and do your best on the field sobriety test.  No breathalyzer, and a free escort home (or phone call to a friend to pick you up).
 
2013-06-03 07:05:04 PM
FTFA:  He performed poorly on field sobriety tests and a breathalyzer test measured his blood alcohol level at .252 percent.


I'm betting he can't recall the last time he took a dump either (that is, until he goes to put his pants in the laundry bin).
 
2013-06-03 08:45:50 PM

BunkoSquad: T.rex: "so many drinks that he could not remember how many,"

thats the quote?  So he was talking in 3rd person?

Some people like to narrate their lives, he replied


As drunk as he was? It's possible.
 
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