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(USA Today)   If Dennis Rodman can be an envoy to North Korea, why can't Steven Seagal be a liaison between the US and Russia?   (usatoday.com) divider line 56
    More: Strange, Dennis Rodman, North Korea, Steven Seagal, Russia, Dana Rohrabacher, Ramzan Kadyrov, California Republicans, Steven Cohen  
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2188 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Jun 2013 at 10:02 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-06-03 10:03:40 AM
Because he's a fat load?
 
2013-06-03 10:06:08 AM
Chinese Star!
 
2013-06-03 10:09:04 AM
He's just looking for Bobby Lupo.
 
2013-06-03 10:09:13 AM
Dennis Rodman wasn't an envoy to North Korea.  He's just a dude that their Leader invited into the country because he saw him on some tapes of old basketball games.
 
2013-06-03 10:09:29 AM
Maybe because he's a dick.
 
2013-06-03 10:10:20 AM

How about Katey Sagal, Bud's mom?

images.dvdsea.com

 
2013-06-03 10:10:44 AM
Wife beater would be perfect.
 
2013-06-03 10:16:31 AM
BitwiseShift: How about Katey Sagal, Bud's mom?

she can be an envoy to my dong. A dongvoy, if you will.
 
2013-06-03 10:17:24 AM

BitwiseShift: How about Katey Sagal, Bud's mom?

[images.dvdsea.com image 498x346]


Gemma has caused enough shiat. We don't need her starting trouble with Russia.
 
2013-06-03 10:19:02 AM
content7.flixster.com
I feel safer already!
 
2013-06-03 10:19:52 AM
Sometimes you may forget what a Galaxy-class douchetard Steven Seagal is, and then you read something like this:

The Kremlin has given Kadyrov lavish funding and political carte blanche to fight terrorism since he came to power in 2005. Activists accuse him and his feared security forces of staggering abuses, including torture, kidnappings and murder.

"All these accusations are thrown around," said Seagal, who was given a lavish welcome in Kadyrov's palace. "Is there any evidence? Has he been indicted?"
 
2013-06-03 10:20:12 AM
Because you only send the cockpuncher to end a war, not prevent one.
 
2013-06-03 10:23:08 AM
I bet Dana Rohrabacher haz a sad because he wasn't in office during the Cold War, and thus couldn't pal around with all of the autocratic dictators we propped up because they were anti-communist. Fortunately, he's got the "war" on radical Islam to give him that warm fuzzy now.
 
2013-06-03 10:25:31 AM
Because he doesn't really kill anyone.  He subdues his enemies by breaking their arms.
 
2013-06-03 10:37:52 AM
If there isn't a law on the books to keep has-been entertainers from interfering with our international relations then there should be.
 
2013-06-03 10:38:04 AM
This is just typical of the libs in Congress.  Turning to some Hollyweird idiot for fantasy solutions to real-world problems.
 
2013-06-03 10:43:50 AM
repeating it a bad idea a bunch of times doesn't make it a good idea.
 
2013-06-03 10:44:55 AM

Sgt Otter: This is just typical of the libs in Congress.  Turning to some Hollyweird idiot for fantasy solutions to real-world problems.


i151.photobucket.com
 
2013-06-03 10:45:22 AM

Rapmaster2000: Because he doesn't really kill anyone.  He subdues his enemies by breaking their arms.

winding up for some sort of martial arts kick of dubious potential effectiveness, whereupon the camera angle abruptly changes to a back-of-the-head shot of a guy with a shorter pony tail, 50 fewer pounds of neck fat, and slightly different, less baggy clothes executing an entirely different kick, or perhaps even a punch, which incapacitates the bad guy, followed by a cut back to Segal, slowly and painfully bending over, sweating and out of breath with bits of Twinkie crumbs falling out of his mouth, to deliver a hearty bon mot, and making Steven Segal Reaction Face #47 (moderate grimace with downturned left-hand side of mouth held 1/8" open, eyes half closed, and lightly furled brow).

FTFY
 
2013-06-03 10:45:30 AM
Anyone feel like the whole trip may have stemmed from some mid-afternoon pray-athon? The article began interestingly ...then the quotes began. What a bunch of jackasses, the lot of them.

 And THEN it it mentions, almost as an aside, that Krazy Eyes Bachman was involved too.

WTactualF?
 
2013-06-03 10:47:02 AM
Another celeb being attributed a skill or ability that must just come naturally to famous people because... they're famous? Hm. Didn't see that one coming.

#kardashian
 
2013-06-03 10:47:37 AM

Sgt Otter: This is just typical of the libs in Congress.  Turning to some Hollyweird idiot for fantasy solutions to real-world problems.


Umm, I think all the Congressmen/women in this delegation were Republicans, including Michelle Bachmann.
(Not that liberals can't be idiots too, just not this time.)
 
2013-06-03 10:48:44 AM
Chuck Norris to Syria in 3... 2.... 1.....
 
2013-06-03 10:50:05 AM
Are they making a sequel to The Glimmer Man?

>Jack Cole: Do you speak Russian?
>Detective Jim Campbell: A little bit.
[Campbell starts banging the suspect's head to the trunk of the car]
>Detective Jim Campbell: Answer, god d@3n mother fARKer! Or I'll beat the s&*t out of your dumb a$%!
>Jack Cole: You speak good Russian!
>Detective Jim Campbell: Yes, black Russian!
 
2013-06-03 10:50:58 AM
www.gannett-cdn.com

Segal is either:

a) Milking an invisible cow,
b) Eating an invisible Flintstone-size sparerib
c) Re-enacting this scene from Animal House, employing his full range of emotive acting "skills":

blogs.chicagosports.chicagotribune.com
 
2013-06-03 10:56:18 AM

Nesher: Sgt Otter: This is just typical of the libs in Congress.  Turning to some Hollyweird idiot for fantasy solutions to real-world problems.

Umm, I think all the Congressmen/women in this delegation were Republicans, including Michelle Bachmann.
(Not that liberals can't be idiots too, just not this time.)


media.skateboard.com.au

Not familiar with Sgt Otter, I take it?
 
2013-06-03 10:56:55 AM
If Dennis Rodman can be an envoy to North Korea, why can't Steven Seagal be a liaison between the US and Russia?

Because if Steven Seagal comes into direct contact with a commie the commie will explode.
 
2013-06-03 10:57:07 AM

Prank Call of Cthulhu: b) Eating an invisible Flintstone-size sparerib


I laughed at that probably more than I should have. Good thing no one else is home at the moment.

Also... B.
 
2013-06-03 11:04:18 AM

ElLoco: Prank Call of Cthulhu: b) Eating an invisible Flintstone-size sparerib

I laughed at that probably more than I should have. Good thing no one else is home at the moment.

Also... B.


Kind of off topic, but every time I see the end credits to the Flintstones, I wonder to myself:  Is there a reason that I couldn't smoke an ostrich leg?  And where would I get one?
 
2013-06-03 11:13:50 AM

fireclown: ElLoco: Prank Call of Cthulhu: b) Eating an invisible Flintstone-size sparerib

I laughed at that probably more than I should have. Good thing no one else is home at the moment.

Also... B.

Kind of off topic, but every time I see the end credits to the Flintstones, I wonder to myself:  Is there a reason that I couldn't smoke an ostrich leg?  And where would I get one?


Ostrich is extremely lean, so it would probably be better braised than smoked. Usually it's served rare with a light sear. Smoking would likely just result in ostrich jerky. These guys sell it, but only deboned.
 
2013-06-03 11:19:02 AM
Steven Segal:

Hard to Kill
Marked for Death
Out for Justice


And now, filming in Russia...   "Gone to Fat"!
 
2013-06-03 11:20:17 AM
Seagal should lay off the Just For Men.
 
2013-06-03 11:20:47 AM

uncleacid: Seagal should lay off the Just For Men.


He can't.  It's a "three word product".
 
2013-06-03 11:21:32 AM

fireclown:  Is there a reason that I couldn't smoke an ostrich leg?



Where are you going to find rolling papers that size?
 
2013-06-03 11:25:57 AM

Arkanaut: Dennis Rodman wasn't an envoy to North Korea.  He's just a dude that their Leader invited into the country because he saw him on some tapes of old basketball games.


call it what you want but Rodman had more access to KJU in a couple days than the entire CIA and NSA couldn't do in 50 years and hundreds of billion$.
 
2013-06-03 11:29:44 AM

mbillips: Sgt Otter: This is just typical of the libs in Congress.  Turning to some Hollyweird idiot for fantasy solutions to real-world problems.

[i151.photobucket.com image 160x121]


Huzzah!
 
2013-06-03 11:33:45 AM

SuperNinjaToad: Arkanaut: Dennis Rodman wasn't an envoy to North Korea.  He's just a dude that their Leader invited into the country because he saw him on some tapes of old basketball games.

call it what you want but Rodman had more access to KJU in a couple days than the entire CIA and NSA couldn't do in 50 years and hundreds of billion$.


Yeah, they can't rebound either.
 
2013-06-03 11:35:43 AM
If Dennis Rodman can be an envoy to North Korea, why can't Steven Seagal be a liaison between the US and Russia?

...because Steven Seagal (a) hasn't released a motion picture to theaters since 1993, (b) hasn't been relevant since...when was Under Siege put out on VHS...?, (c) got really, really, really farking fat and disgusting, (d) is unintelligible on the level of Sylvester Stallone, (e) is fat...(y) thought himself to be a cop, then filmed a shiatty "reality" show about it in my home state, and (z) he shows up on Fox News, so I can't take him seriously.

Other than that, though--yeah, let's make him a special envoy. Just like Dennis Rodman. Because Rodman had the official backing of the United States government when he made the completely unauthorized vacation to Best Korea.
 
2013-06-03 11:41:18 AM
In my opinion, he gets a lifetime pass to do whatever he wants because of Hard to Kill and Under Siege.
 
2013-06-03 12:06:09 PM

maram500: If Dennis Rodman can be an envoy to North Korea, why can't Steven Seagal be a liaison between the US and Russia?

...because Steven Seagal (a) hasn't released a motion picture to theaters since 1993, (b) hasn't been relevant since...when was Under Siege put out on VHS...?, (c) got really, really, really farking fat and disgusting, (d) is unintelligible on the level of Sylvester Stallone, (e) is fat...(y) thought himself to be a cop, then filmed a shiatty "reality" show about it in my home state, and (z) he shows up on Fox News, so I can't take him seriously.

Other than that, though--yeah, let's make him a special envoy. Just like Dennis Rodman. Because Rodman had the official backing of the United States government when he made the completely unauthorized vacation to Best Korea.


You left out the Sheriff Joe connection.
 
2013-06-03 12:08:33 PM
Wasn't there a rumor that Seagal had his films financed by the Russian mob? The crime comic Blue Estate made that part of their Seagal parody character.
 
2013-06-03 12:15:00 PM
All envoy's must be able to comfortably wear a dress.  I nominate Rudy Guliani.
 
2013-06-03 12:15:23 PM
"You know I made my living in the movies, but for the last 20 years I've been a cop.  And for the last 30 years I've been an envoy to the Russians.  Oh, here comes a group of Russians now..."

"Hey man, you Steven Segal!"
 
2013-06-03 12:17:20 PM
Jesus Christ on a bike. We have imbeciles running the Imbecile Home.
 
2013-06-03 12:37:04 PM

Nesher: Sgt Otter: This is just typical of the libs in Congress.  Turning to some Hollyweird idiot for fantasy solutions to real-world problems.

Umm, I think all the Congressmen/women in this delegation were Republicans, including Michelle Bachmann.
(Not that liberals can't be idiots too, just not this time.)


Stop confusing the repugs with facts!!! They don't like that.
 
2013-06-03 12:47:03 PM

Albert911emt: Nesher: Sgt Otter: This is just typical of the libs in Congress.  Turning to some Hollyweird idiot for fantasy solutions to real-world problems.

Umm, I think all the Congressmen/women in this delegation were Republicans, including Michelle Bachmann.
(Not that liberals can't be idiots too, just not this time.)

Stop confusing the repugs with facts!!! They don't like that.


Obviously not familiar with the works of Sgt. Otter now are ya?    It was sarcasm and satire all rolled into one and delivered like a scoop on top of a cone with a big bright cherry on top and you still didn't get it?
 
2013-06-03 12:53:53 PM
My question is: What the hell is up with that hair?   Trumps looks more "natural" than that abomination.

I believe it was the late lamented Spy Magazine that did one of the first in-depth looks at Seagal and not-surprisingly just about everything the guy used to tell about himself was completed made up.  He used to tell stories of daring-do working for the CIA, etc. and they all turned out to be rehashing of stories told by a former mentor/friend of his, an older gentleman who really had been a CIA agent.  Claimed to be the first and only white guy to achieve certain black belt status and to own and operate a dojo in Japan.  Turned out, it was his then (Japanese) wife's father's dojo, and he took over the place for a few weeks/months while his father-in-law was recuperating from an illness. (He also appears to have awarded himself the various black belt ranks, while in that position.)

Just everything about this guy screams: wannabe and fraud.
 
2013-06-03 01:38:00 PM
Chuck Norris already has it covered for years.  After he dies I'll nominate Jet Li.
 
2013-06-03 01:52:22 PM

lawboy87: My question is: What the hell is up with that hair?   Trumps looks more "natural" than that abomination.

I believe it was the late lamented Spy Magazine that did one of the first in-depth looks at Seagal and not-surprisingly just about everything the guy used to tell about himself was completed made up.  He used to tell stories of daring-do derring-do working for the CIA, etc. and they all turned out to be rehashing of stories told by a former mentor/friend of his, an older gentleman who really had been a CIA agent.  Claimed to be the first and only white guy to achieve certain black belt status and to own and operate a dojo in Japan.  Turned out, it was his then (Japanese) wife's father's dojo, and he took over the place for a few weeks/months while his father-in-law was recuperating from an illness. (He also appears to have awarded himself the various black belt ranks, while in that position.)

Just everything about this guy screams: wannabe and fraud.


FTFY.  Pretty much this, plus Judo Gene Labell chocked him out on set.  And he uses spray-paint hair.  And he forced his au pair into sex slavery until she escaped from his swamp mansion he lived in while filming his COPS spinoff with the late Jefferson Parish Sheriff Harry Lee.
 
2013-06-03 02:57:18 PM
Holy shiat, that's Steven Seagal?

www.gannett-cdn.com

t1.gstatic.com

I suppose I should STFU.  When 800 years you reach, look as good you will not.
 
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