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(Daily Mail)   Being a cunning linguist was the source of Michael Douglas's throat cancer   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 89
    More: Scary, doses, Cancer Research UK, HPV, Catherine Zeta Jones, cancers  
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7312 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 02 Jun 2013 at 9:30 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-06-02 09:09:35 PM
I can't quite put my finger on it, but something smells fishy here.
 
2013-06-02 09:11:02 PM
Catherine Zeta-Jones...sh*t that hot has to be radioactive...
 
2013-06-02 09:21:06 PM
Oh yeah, has nothing to do with smoking like a freight train, drinking like a fish and probably snorting more coke in the 80's than most would see in their life.
 
2013-06-02 09:25:06 PM
Although mouth cancer can be caused by HPV passed on by oral sex, doctors say Michael Douglas's claim that oral sex is also a cure doesn't make any medical sense.

Yeah, was kinda wondering about that bit.
 
2013-06-02 09:27:43 PM

basemetal: Oh yeah, has nothing to do with smoking like a freight train, drinking like a fish and probably snorting more coke in the 80's than most would see in their life.


I'm not sure how they would even diagnose that. I didn't think there was an HPV test for men?
 
2013-06-02 09:33:06 PM
CZJ?

Smokin!
 
2013-06-02 09:35:47 PM

fusillade762: basemetal: Oh yeah, has nothing to do with smoking like a freight train, drinking like a fish and probably snorting more coke in the 80's than most would see in their life.

I'm not sure how they would even diagnose that. I didn't think there was an HPV test for men?


Any sample of cells can be tested for HPV, the sex of the donor doesn't matter.
 
2013-06-02 09:36:04 PM
www.bittenandbound.com

Bet Michael Douglass thinks she was worth it.
 
2013-06-02 09:39:54 PM

fusillade762: basemetal: Oh yeah, has nothing to do with smoking like a freight train, drinking like a fish and probably snorting more coke in the 80's than most would see in their life.

I'm not sure how they would even diagnose that. I didn't think there was an HPV test for men?


According to the other thread: gargle with vinegar and get a flashlight.
 
2013-06-02 09:40:16 PM
Douglas, who is married to Welsh actress Catherine Zeta-Jones, was diagnosed with cancer in August 2010 after a walnut-sized tumour was found on his tongue.
How does a tumor on your tongue get that big before you notice it and/or see a doctor?
 
2013-06-02 09:43:24 PM
*obligatory Daniel Tosh black guy joke*
 
2013-06-02 09:44:21 PM
Folks.

This is Michael Douglas.

Do you REALLY think CZJ had the exclusive access?
 
2013-06-02 09:45:36 PM
HPV  can cause some serious shiat.  But its also the common cold when it comes to sweet lovin'.  That's why they want to start immunizing kids for it.  In recent times the virus has been recognized as a bad seed, but its been around far longer.  You can carry it for years and never have a symptom.  Or, you can get cancer.  I wager that better than 1/2 of the women he's laid up with carried it, given his age.
 
2013-06-02 09:46:44 PM
Well, I'm still willing to fall on my sword, and by "fall on my sword", I mean  "Catherine Zeta-Jones can sit on my face".

I'm also thinking that while Douglas is technically correct, HPV causes oral cancer a lot more easily if you smoke like a chimney, snort like Thomas the Tank Engine and wake up with a blood alcohol level sufficient to make staggering illegal.

He's lucky his probably toxified sperm didn't turn Z-J 's vag into a tard cannon.
 
2013-06-02 09:47:21 PM

Another Government Employee: Folks.

This is Michael Douglas.

Do you REALLY think CZJ had the exclusive access?


On the other hand, how many guys did she do before she got to the point where he would even notice her?
 
2013-06-02 09:47:32 PM

Valiente: Well, I'm still willing to fall on my sword, and by "fall on my sword", I mean  "Catherine Zeta-Jones can sit on my face".

I'm also thinking that while Douglas is technically correct, HPV causes oral cancer a lot more easily if you smoke like a chimney, snort like Thomas the Tank Engine and wake up with a blood alcohol level sufficient to make staggering illegal.

He's lucky his probably toxified sperm didn't turn Z-J 's vag into a tard cannon.


What he said, and what I said.
 
2013-06-02 09:55:27 PM
That's what I say: I am a lesbian trapped inside the body of a man. I love to eat it. I love to f*ck it!
 
2013-06-02 09:58:27 PM
♫  Tainted love... ♫

/.whoa-o-o-o
 
2013-06-02 09:58:46 PM
Oh great. Men just found a brand new excuse for why they won't go downtown. Thanks, Michael Douglas.
 
2013-06-02 10:01:38 PM

basemetal: Oh yeah, has nothing to do with smoking like a freight train, drinking like a fish and probably snorting more coke in the 80's than most would see in their life.


You also have to remember, he was neck deep in chicks way before the 80s. On top of being Kirk Douglas' kid, by the time he was 30, he was already a TV star and an Oscar winning producer. They probably retired his casting couch.

By all logic, he should have died like 25 years ago.
 
2013-06-02 10:02:11 PM
The point is, ladies and gentleman, that greed, for lack of a better word, for cunnilingus is not good.

www.esquire.com
 
2013-06-02 10:03:59 PM
Some people will say anything to get in the press....
 
2013-06-02 10:07:14 PM
Just came to drop this off
www.dbcovers.com
 
2013-06-02 10:13:29 PM

stiletto2: Just came to drop this off
[www.dbcovers.com image 850x478]


It's worth the cancer
 
2013-06-02 10:16:07 PM
Can you get oral cancer from licking your monitor?
 
2013-06-02 10:23:31 PM
TMI, dude.
 
2013-06-02 10:26:20 PM
Yes, Michael Douglas got his cancer from oral sex, and Donna Summer got hers from standing too close to the Twin Towers after 9/11.  Because everyone knows that chain smoking doesn't affect celebrities.

www.dailyhaha.com
 
2013-06-02 10:27:14 PM

PhiloeBedoe: Catherine Zeta-Jones...sh*t that hot has to be radioactive...


At least in women, HPV has such a long lag time (20 - 40 years) that it was almost certainly not Zeta-Jones that was the source.
 
2013-06-02 10:28:03 PM

Kali76: Oh great. Men just found a brand new excuse for why they won't go downtown. Thanks, Michael Douglas.


Wait, you know guys who DON'T like that?  WTF?  You're kidding, right?
 
2013-06-02 10:28:49 PM
Probably Kathleen Turner.
 
2013-06-02 10:28:52 PM
The oh, so sexy dental dams are the answer!
 
2013-06-02 10:29:49 PM
www.ricosyfamosos.org
 
2013-06-02 10:29:58 PM

meanmutton: Kali76: Oh great. Men just found a brand new excuse for why they won't go downtown. Thanks, Michael Douglas.

Wait, you know guys who DON'T like that?  WTF?  You're kidding, right?


They're out there.  We fark their girlfriends for them.
 
2013-06-02 10:32:55 PM
This guy is more full of shiat than John Denver.
 
2013-06-02 10:33:59 PM

RoyBatty: Probably Kathleen Turner.


www.strangecosmos.com
 
2013-06-02 10:51:49 PM

Wasilla Hillbilly: The oh, so sexy dental dams are the answer!


By first thought.  Has anyone ever actually used one?

/somehow they seem so much more insulting than a condom
 
2013-06-02 10:57:12 PM

Kali76: Oh great. Men just found a brand new excuse for why they won't go downtown. Thanks, Michael Douglas.




Joe Rogan has some words about that.(skip to 5:00 although the whole bit is pretty funny)
 
2013-06-02 11:05:17 PM
img62.imageshack.us

Guess who he got it from?
 
2013-06-02 11:13:09 PM
So ladies, if you love your man, don't make him lick your deadly cancerous stink-box.
 
2013-06-02 11:21:50 PM
If he's done it THAT much, he's probably REALLY good at it.

I think I need a moment to myself.
 
2013-06-02 11:23:20 PM

skinink: The point is, ladies and gentleman, that greed, for lack of a better word, for cunnilingus is not good.

[www.esquire.com image 300x408]


It's like a perfect storm. At the same time, on different cable channels, Wall Street and the Seinfeld episode with Elaine and the saxophonist were airing.
 
2013-06-02 11:23:32 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: ♫  Tainted love... ♫

/.whoa-o-o-o


Coil played that angle a while back.
 
2013-06-02 11:24:31 PM

rubi_con_man: So ladies, if you love your man, don't make him lick your deadly cancerous stink-box.


Stop beating around the bush.
 
2013-06-02 11:28:36 PM
Someone call for Colonel Angus?

mantoos.com
 
2013-06-02 11:49:43 PM
Douglas candidly replied: 'No. Because without wanting to get too specific, this particular cancer is caused by HPV, which actually comes about from cunnilingus.'

Well, that's sorta is getting specific. You said what caused the cancer and how you get it. The only thing lacking was the "who".
 
2013-06-02 11:53:02 PM

fusillade762: Although mouth cancer can be caused by HPV passed on by oral sex, doctors say Michael Douglas's claim that oral sex is also a cure doesn't make any medical sense.

Yeah, was kinda wondering about that bit.


I took it as a joke.
 
2013-06-02 11:58:17 PM

Ambivalence: If he's done it THAT much, he's probably REALLY good at it.

I think I need a moment to myself.


Some folks (myself included) see it as a "warm-up" for the deed...
 
2013-06-02 11:59:32 PM

Wayne 985: fusillade762: Although mouth cancer can be caused by HPV passed on by oral sex, doctors say Michael Douglas's claim that oral sex is also a cure doesn't make any medical sense.

Yeah, was kinda wondering about that bit.

I took it as a joke.


I took it as the sole piece of homeopathic advice I ever want to remember.
 
2013-06-03 12:40:50 AM
i blame Matt Damon
 
2013-06-03 12:45:29 AM
Claiming your cancer is caused by eating too many bearded clams is quite the cunning stunt.
 
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