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(CapAlert)   CAP reviews Harry Potter (repeat?)   (capalert.com) divider line 72
    More: Amusing  
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2734 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Nov 2001 at 4:43 PM (12 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



72 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2001-11-29 04:44:16 PM
yes repeat
 
2001-11-29 04:45:12 PM
repeat!
 
2001-11-29 04:45:59 PM
Repeat, but funny nonetheless
 
2001-11-29 04:46:13 PM
Well, go look at some of the other movies then :-) I thought it had probably made it here
 
2001-11-29 04:46:27 PM
"willingness to commit suicide to enable victory of friends"

Good thing no one told Jesus that this was wrong-headed activity, huh?
 
2001-11-29 04:48:19 PM
Good thing no one told Jesus that this was wrong-headed activity, huh?
yeah I wonder if they thought of that
 
2001-11-29 04:48:41 PM
"witchcraft/sorcery to control others, repeatedly"

Really? I thought this movie was about getting some stone...
 
2001-11-29 04:48:45 PM
Yeah, repeat..somehow CAP got in to see a sneak peak, and released this review before the film was released.
 
2001-11-29 04:48:49 PM
"evil eyes, repeatedly"

WTF?
 
2001-11-29 04:49:27 PM
Is anyone suprised that cap didnt like this one. This was a slamdunk that he would not like it. Hell the day cap likes a movie the terrorisys will have won.
 
2001-11-29 04:50:52 PM
Holy ads.
 
2001-11-29 04:52:06 PM
repeat it is!!! yay!!!..............yawn.........
 
2001-11-29 04:53:51 PM
how come repeats get posted but NONE of my articles ever do
 
2001-11-29 04:54:19 PM
if it is a repeat(?)
hy even post it?
 
2001-11-29 04:55:05 PM
How do you even post repeats? Isn't there a thing that doesn't let you submit something that's already been submitted. Hell, I get that with half the links I submit.
 
2001-11-29 04:55:37 PM
Rosalea:Because you smell like cabbage.
 
2001-11-29 04:58:47 PM
fresh cabbage like a baby
 
2001-11-29 05:01:17 PM
Jeebus! What is up with all the farking ads in the article. Looks like a circus...
 
2001-11-29 05:01:35 PM
Rosalea:Because you smell like cabbage.

pouts
meany
 
2001-11-29 05:01:56 PM
Check out Idle Hands and American Psycho.
 
2001-11-29 05:02:48 PM
Boy, they really shove that holy/righteous stuff in your face. I think i got nauseous by just seeing the ads.
 
2001-11-29 05:02:50 PM
they don't even know their right from their left....
http://www.capalert.com/capreports/datadisplayexpl2.htm
 
2001-11-29 05:03:19 PM
"evil eyes, repeatedly"


Is that anything like 'Stink-eye' ??
 
2001-11-29 05:03:30 PM
Rosalea: stake out some sites that are frequently linked to by Fark (yahoo, CNN, etc.) and find out when they update. It also helps if you can take a boring story (i.e., Gov't forcasts deficits for 3 years) and make the headline funny when the reader sees the article (i.e. Bad America! Bad America! No surplus for you until you finish your deficit!).
 
2001-11-29 05:04:49 PM
I've submitted tons of articles and I've never seen a one I submitted linked. Its kinda disappointing.
Oh well probably should work on preventing typos in my headlines.
 
2001-11-29 05:05:01 PM
Thermos

Very funny! I like to laugh and your post (accompanied by Uniform Resource Locator) made me laugh!

Take that CAP
 
2001-11-29 05:05:08 PM
teeheehee,

god forbid your children might *gasp* EXPERIENCE SOMETHING!!
 
2001-11-29 05:06:21 PM
Also - make sure you are not doubling up the http:// at the beginning of the URL. I've seen that a lot, and usually don't bother to fix them unless they are exceptionally outstanding.

My fault this is posted again.
 
2001-11-29 05:08:05 PM
No farking shiat its a farking repeat. Take that filter.
 
2001-11-29 05:08:41 PM
yeah I've done that a couple times. I need to remember to read my headline before submitting since I can't just go back and correct it.
 
2001-11-29 05:11:33 PM
Impudence/Hate (I)(1):
* two uses of the three/four letter word vocabulary

love=4

I guess I am going to hell (=4) now.
 
2001-11-29 05:13:39 PM
OMG If it was that evil, would so many people go to see it?!


Oh wait, nevermind!
 
2001-11-29 05:25:24 PM
That's funny. He said 'open mindedness'.
 
2001-11-29 05:37:12 PM
Wee pete!
 
2001-11-29 05:44:14 PM
Under "offenses to god", you'll find this gem:
"paintings with moving subjects, repeatedly"
I'd like to see CAP's ideal movie.
 
JMT
2001-11-29 05:48:49 PM
I like the T-shirt that says:

"Harry Pothead and the Sorcerer's Stoned."

Or something to that effect.
 
2001-11-29 05:54:39 PM
>beating of a child with a club by a giant troll, seeing the club hit the child, repeatedly
>

Hmm, sounds a lot like the internet in general. ; p
 
2001-11-29 05:56:45 PM
"beating of a child with a club by a giant troll, seeing the club hit the child, repeatedly"

Okay, now he's just making stuff up. The troll TRIED to hit them; it never did.

Oops. I just admitted I saw the movie...
 
2001-11-29 06:02:39 PM
Offenses to God are some of the funniest things Ive read in some time.

Half-horse - half-man creature

So thats bad.

How come angels, which are essentially half-man, half-bird OK?
 
2001-11-29 06:11:04 PM
They can take this review and shove it up their rightous ass
 
2001-11-29 06:12:01 PM
cap alert is the one of the funniest sites ever. check the back to school special on the mainpage. stupid christians.
 
2001-11-29 06:26:25 PM
"christmas without jesus"...

Isn't that called kwanzaa?
 
2001-11-29 06:28:55 PM
"Christmas without Jesus"

Okay, someone show me where in the Bible it even states when Jesus' birthday was. Can't find it? Huh. Okay, how about showing me where he or God commands Christians to celebrate it. No? Gee, go figure...
 
2001-11-29 06:35:10 PM
Manhigh
Angels are real you silly heathen.
 
2001-11-29 06:38:42 PM
I read the back to school special on Satanic symbols,but I wonder where the following are:
The Frito,Tux The Penguin,The Disney Logo,7-11 Signs,The Dodge Symbol,and the Maytag Repair Man?
These are very damaging to a child's eternal soul,and you all must keep your children from straying down the dark path these icons represent!
 
2001-11-29 06:40:44 PM
whenever cap says , I say .
I suggest we all use with whatever CAP says.
 
2001-11-29 06:44:41 PM
when Cap says , i say
use , whenever reading CAP

don't know what happened with last one hope this works
 
2001-11-29 07:03:58 PM
y'all seemed to miss the best sin:

children wandering about alone in a forest at night

if that ain't sinful i don't know what is :)

Later
Chris
 
2001-11-29 07:39:53 PM
Henchman:

You can thank those mean old Jew hatin Catholics for giving us Christmas and Easter.

Lets hope in the next movie they use pentagrams!!!!

CAP will really frak out
 
2001-11-29 07:41:26 PM
Sorry "freak out"... I got too excited :)
 
2001-11-29 07:47:48 PM
I really can't stand the design of that site. If you can even call it design...
 
2001-11-29 07:56:42 PM
"Now there's a good topic for our kids to ponder while waiting for sleep to come at night -- kill, kill, kill."

Right. Have the kids try pondering Psalm 137.9:

"Happy be he who taketh thy little ones and dasheth them against the stones"

What imagery. I can see God now, smashing little babies agains the rocks with his almighy bloody hands and a lunatic smile on his face.
 
2001-11-29 08:30:57 PM
I want to know how Mary Poppins got a perfect score??

Spoonfulls of suger used as alternative to god
jumping into moving paintings
flying on umbrellas

etc

idiots
 
2001-11-29 08:51:53 PM
"Spoonfulls of suger used as alternative to god"

Even worse than that! The sugar helped medicine go down! She should have used the laying on of hands! :)
 
2001-11-29 09:18:27 PM
Even worse than that! The sugar helped medicine go down!

How awful! As God said in Isa. 5:20, you cannot make something light with darkness and something sweet with bitterness.

They liked The Tigger Movie except for "a great fall" and "striking out in a blizzard". Damn heathen Tigger!
 
2001-11-29 09:19:06 PM
Oh, I forgot. The medicine goes down, and so do we.
 
2001-11-29 09:42:15 PM
The guy says,'we have kicked God out of schools, government and many, many homes and what used to be the family.' ...So, after God was kicked out, where did she go to - Wizard school?
 
2001-11-29 09:43:12 PM
This CAP fellow reminds me of Grandpa Simpson...

"The following is a list of words I never want to hear on television again: number one: bra, number 2: horny, number three: family jewels..."
 
2001-11-29 10:49:48 PM
Ah, religious wackos. My house is located immediately in between a Mormon temple and a Baptist church, and across the street from a Scientologist® "psychological reconditioning facility", so you can imagine what pure hell that is. At least the rent is really farking low.
 
2001-11-29 10:50:53 PM
The super right-wing Christians make me sick. Not only because of their intolerant bigoted views, but because they're a minority who give all Christians a bad name.

During the height of the Harry Potter controversy a few months back, in the middle of a sermon my preacher held up the Harry Potter books and declared them wonderful family books that everyone can enjoy. That's what most of us think, it's just these morons have the louder megaphone and seem like a bigger faction than they are...
 
2001-11-29 11:00:44 PM
Tioloco wonderful use of imagery! Excellent!

To hell with all fundies of all religions. Jesus called them snakes, right?

I have seen or heard about hundreds of kids who didn't read much before actually sitting down and reading long books because they were Harry Potter, and fluently reading, too (means they see the movie going on in their head while they read). Reading is the foundation of education, and a good, free education for all is what makes good, free Americans. Why else do fundies like the Tali-banned and these CAP freaks attack public education every chance? BTW, thot CAP was "Civil Air Patrol".
 
2001-11-29 11:24:31 PM
I am assuming the review was bad...
I cannot read that page with all the farking ads....

I have seen the movie and it says nothing about satan... I was waiting. Not a bad little flick, in my opinion.
 
2001-11-30 01:51:36 AM
Henchman: Gotta agree with you about Xmas. We really should call it Baalmas or something. :) Besides there's evidence that Jesus was born in the autumn. And someone tell me again, what does a decorated tree have to do with Jesus' birth...?

Thanos6: Amen to that! I think parents should look at the books themselves, maybe read them with the kids, and make their own judgments.

Next up: CAP reviews farker LadyAlexa's Legend of Zelda fanfic...the NC17 stuff. :) (Hey, there's porn, then there's stories written with taste IMO)
 
2001-11-30 01:56:07 AM
CRUDKING: Yep, thank the good old Catholics for 'em! Which is why my husband and I don't observe them!

Cnhn: That's called going WAY overboard. So if I walk in the forest alone, I'm sinning? *rolls eyes* Talk about majoring in the minors! I'm sure they'll find fault with something Christ did--just you watch!
 
2001-11-30 06:01:22 AM
LadyAlexa: There was a link posted to a satire page of CAP reviewing the bible a while back. Dunno where it is now, but it's a flawless parody, and absolutely hilarious.
 
2001-11-30 06:54:35 AM
Bhamv--You find it, post it here under Satire or Ironic. :) Apparently I'm not the only one who thought of it!
 
2001-11-30 09:00:19 AM
And yet ... I still have people who ask me why I haven't found God or Jeebus? With followers like this who condemn everything and only preach hate, I have no desire to "return to the flock" either.

I do feel sorry that so many loving Catholics and Christians get shown in a negative light because fo a few select bigots who just use the Bible and God as their defense to say and do most whatever they want.
 
2001-11-30 10:00:15 AM
By the way, Harry converses with a snake in this movie. Not a cow, not a dog, not a cat, but a snake. And one of the characters is 665 years old. Metheuselah? Nebuchadnezzar? NOAH? All old.

beating of a child with a club by a giant troll, seeing the club hit the child, repeatedly I saw the movie; didn't see the troll hit the kid. Did he see something I didn't?

I can sum up CAP in two words:
Jack. Ass.
 
2001-11-30 11:01:01 AM
I'd LOVE to see CAP's review of The Black Knight! :) That movie was HILARIOUS!
 
2001-11-30 01:33:45 PM
nothing martin lawrence does is funny...
damm little racist fark
 
2001-11-30 08:28:03 PM
Offense to God (O)(2):

witchcraft/sorcery to control others, repeatedly

transfiguration

levitation, repeatedly

witchcraft/sorcery to get even

boy conversing with a snake

witchcraft/sorcery to start fires, repeatedly

witchcraft/sorcery to grow tail on a boy

community of witches and wizards

goblins, ghosts, repeatedly

witchcraft/sorcery to destroy property

"You're a wizard, Harry"

"Not all wizards are good"

disappearance by witchcraft/sorcery

walking through walls

casting spells, repeatedly

manifestations in mirror

mirror to show deepest desires

elixir of life to make immortal

half man, half horse beast

protection by unholy force

broom riding, repeatedly

attempted murder with witchcraft/sorcery, repeatedly

offer to resurrect parents by unholy force

"There is no good or evil. There's only power" (Voldemort)

talking witches hat

witchcraft/sorcery to create food

paintings with moving subjects, repeatedly

teaching the use of potions to control others and even "stopper" death

evil eyes, repeatedly

witchcraft/sorcery incantation to do harm

Christmas without Jesus

invisibility by witchcraft/sorcery

face in pain protruding from book pages

demon cat; witch's familiar

evil passing through boy's body, causing unconsciousness

witchcraft/sorcery to change flag colors

unholy possession


HA HA HA!

Now, I don't want to discriminate against witchcraft and sorcery shiat, as I am skipping school to see lord of the rings on the first day it comes out. BUT, the harry pothead books are pure shiat.

I'm gonna submit a link of their examination of LOTR.
 
2001-11-30 08:32:17 PM
Oh, and another interesting note on the Sugar stuff:



Hmmmm...
 
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