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(Washington Post)   Northern Virginia suburbanites seem healthy on the outside, but in reality they're sad, depressed bringe drinkers who need to be hugged   (washingtonpost.com) divider line 60
    More: Sad, Northern Virginia, suburbanites, Loudoun, physical environment, Falls Church, Robert Wood Johnson Foundation, ethnic backgrounds, depressions  
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3994 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 May 2013 at 3:58 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-31 03:24:08 PM
I blame the traffic.
 
2013-05-31 03:43:34 PM

Diogenes: I blame the traffic.


NOVA is a complete and total shiathole because of those goddamned roads.

But, NOVA does keep the rest of Virginia from becoming Jesusland, so you have to applaud them for that.
 
2013-05-31 03:57:29 PM

FirstNationalBastard: Diogenes: I blame the traffic.

NOVA is a complete and total shiathole because of those goddamned roads.

But, NOVA does keep the rest of Virginia from becoming Jesusland, so you have to applaud them for that.


I lived in Ballston (Arlington) for about 5 years (consulting).  After about month two I stopped renting a car.

And come to think of it, there were alot of really cool bars withing walking distance of my corporate apartment.
 
2013-05-31 03:59:01 PM
I have never tried bringe. What's it taste like?
 
2013-05-31 03:59:18 PM
I think you misspelled Nebraska in that headline.
 
2013-05-31 04:01:10 PM
Virginia is for Alcoholics
 
2013-05-31 04:01:12 PM

Anayalator: I have never tried bringe. What's it taste like?


Zima
 
2013-05-31 04:01:20 PM
They should try adding more fiber to their diets.
 
2013-05-31 04:02:43 PM

Anayalator: I have never tried bringe. What's it taste like?


4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-05-31 04:03:11 PM

Diogenes: FirstNationalBastard: Diogenes: I blame the traffic.

NOVA is a complete and total shiathole because of those goddamned roads.

But, NOVA does keep the rest of Virginia from becoming Jesusland, so you have to applaud them for that.

I lived in Ballston (Arlington) for about 5 years (consulting).  After about month two I stopped renting a car.

And come to think of it, there were alot of really cool bars withing walking distance of my corporate apartment.


There are tons more in Balston now, including World of Beer, which I still haven't visited.  Clarendon has some better options these days too beside Ballroom and shiatlows.
 
2013-05-31 04:05:25 PM
Northern Virginia suburbanites Most people seem healthy on the outside, but in reality they're sad, depressed bringe drinkers who need to be hugged
 
2013-05-31 04:06:26 PM
Southeast VA here, and I'm glad to say we have are bringe problem under control.

Now anyways....
 
2013-05-31 04:07:04 PM
I plan on doing some binge drinking after work and I'm not even depressed!
 
2013-05-31 04:07:10 PM

Diogenes: FirstNationalBastard: Diogenes: I blame the traffic.

NOVA is a complete and total shiathole because of those goddamned roads.

But, NOVA does keep the rest of Virginia from becoming Jesusland, so you have to applaud them for that.

I lived in Ballston (Arlington) for about 5 years (consulting).  After about month two I stopped renting a car.

And come to think of it, there were alot of really cool bars withing walking distance of my corporate apartment.


Ireland's Four Courts at Wilson & Courthouse.

And yes, hugs. Hugs from Dita Von Teese. That, combined with limited access to automatic weaponry. God damn the traffic. The very reason I escaped.
 
2013-05-31 04:08:20 PM
How come people assume binge drinkers are sad inside?

Jimmy Buffett's made a career out of being a drunken beach bum, I think it's served him well.
 
2013-05-31 04:11:17 PM

Carn: World of Beer


One opened near Mom's place.  I should check it out sometime.
 
2013-05-31 04:13:22 PM
I miss NOVA almost entirely for the binge drinking. Was a sad day moving back home where happy hour drink promotions are illegal.

/Pentagon City for 2 years
//Home is RI
 
2013-05-31 04:18:37 PM
As someone who has lived in Northern Virginia for over 40 years I can confidently say this article is right on the money. Now someone pass me some booze and give me a hug.

/God I'm so depressed
 
2013-05-31 04:20:16 PM
Yea I don't feel bad for them at all
 
2013-05-31 04:21:23 PM

FirstNationalBastard: Diogenes: I blame the traffic.

NOVA is a complete and total shiathole because of those goddamned roads.

But, NOVA does keep the rest of Virginia from becoming Jesusland, so you have to applaud them for that.


Super agreed, I live in Fairfax County and whenever anyone out of state asks, you really do have to specify the "northern" part.
Also fat, broke, but not a drinker.
 
2013-05-31 04:23:55 PM
Live in Alexandria and find this to be....alarmingly true.
oh well, if you can't be a good example, be a dire warning....
 
2013-05-31 04:25:38 PM
Moved from NoVa to Maryland. Still visit across the river but never on a weekend night.
 
2013-05-31 04:25:47 PM
Home prices are insane. Neighbors are unknown. Contractors/employees are living in fear of their jobs disappearing any day now. Traffic accounts for 25% of your life. And more and more people keep flooding in compounding all of those problems.

It ain't just the traffic - it's the overwhelming sense of stress that can be smelled as soon as you step off the plane at Dulles.
 
2013-05-31 04:26:04 PM
A good friend of mine moved to Alexandria and apparently has lost his damn mind. That would explain a lot.
 
2013-05-31 04:27:15 PM
I have never lived anywhere else but NoVA, I had no idea how cheap it was in other places, I really need to be talked into going somewhere else.
 
2013-05-31 04:31:33 PM

fstr21: I have never lived anywhere else but NoVA, I had no idea how cheap it was in other places, I really need to be talked into going somewhere else.


It's spreading further south.

Because of the HOT Lane construction, anything above Fredericksburg on I-95 is completely farked.

But once you go below the Rappahannock River Bridge, you can almost feel things getting less stressful.

/and if you don't, they put signs up on the sides of the bridge for a Suicide and Crisis Counseling hotline that you can call.
//no, seriously.
 
2013-05-31 04:34:04 PM
Bill Brasky's buddies love to Bringe drink when he's not around.

s22.postimg.org
 
2013-05-31 04:34:34 PM

fstr21: FirstNationalBastard: Diogenes: I blame the traffic.

NOVA is a complete and total shiathole because of those goddamned roads.

But, NOVA does keep the rest of Virginia from becoming Jesusland, so you have to applaud them for that.

Super agreed, I live in Fairfax County and whenever anyone out of state asks, you really do have to specify the "northern" part.
Also fat, broke, but not a drinker.


I also thought the summers were brutal.  And I live in Florida.  People I worked with didn't get that.

We also usually have a bit of a breeze, even when it's hot and humid.  NoVA's just oppressive.  The air is more polluted, and it just hangs and presses down on you.
 
2013-05-31 04:35:54 PM
Robert Wood Johnson Foundation

That's a funny way to spell Carrie Nation.
 
2013-05-31 04:36:14 PM

Rip Dashrock: Northern Virginia suburbanites Most people seem healthy on the outside, but in reality they're sad, depressed bringe drinkers who need to be hugged


Exactly
 
2013-05-31 04:36:22 PM

xxmedium: Home prices are insane. Neighbors are unknown. Contractors/employees are living in fear of their jobs disappearing any day now. Traffic accounts for 25% of your life. And more and more people keep flooding in compounding all of those problems.

It ain't just the traffic - it's the overwhelming sense of stress that can be smelled as soon as you step off the plane at Dulles.


That.  I lived there most of my life; finally moved to Los Angeles cause I couldn't take it anymore.
 
2013-05-31 04:37:30 PM
Meh, move to DC. We binge drink because we're making your lives miserable, not that it makes us sad, but it does pay for a hefty daily bar tab.
 
2013-05-31 04:45:20 PM
The traffic and housing prices are two of the big reasons we left. A lot of people are very status conscious; the first thing someone says after meeting is "so, what do you do? " and many people are constantly gauging how your job compares in importance. I've been told that not wanting to work every Saturday means I must not care about my job.

As for "binge" drinking, there are a lot of 20-somethings in the area and surprisingly they like to go out on weekends. The people who study this sort of thing don't drink so they think pretty much all drinking is problematic.
 
2013-05-31 04:52:49 PM

fstr21: I have never lived anywhere else but NoVA, I had no idea how cheap it was in other places, I really need to be talked into going somewhere else.


General rule: The better the traffic, the lower the home prices.  Partly because in places with low demand, there's just not a lot of people to cause traffic, and partly because increased traffic => terrible commute => everyone moves close to work so that they have a non-stabby commute => higher prices close to city centers => even worse commute because of increased density => endless cycle (until you turn into NYC and are SO dense that you have to have mass transit as the sole means of transit for most people).

Thus:
Silicon Valley cheap homes are $1.2 Million.  (East Bay is $3-400K, but since there's no mass transit, you get to drive up/down 880 each day for 2-3 hours in terrible traffic).
Midwestern family homes are ~$150K.

/Was getting offers for $60K in the Detroit suburbs and $70K in SF Bay Area, so it's not like the salary goes down a lot.
//Dad has a 15-mile, 26-minute commute down rural back roads in MI.  I'd kill for that sort of average speed anywhere at this point.
///Seriously, screw the stoplights around here.  They're perfectly timed to make you miss the light EVERY SINGLE TIME.
 
2013-05-31 04:54:06 PM
HEY!

I resemble these assertions!
 
2013-05-31 04:54:42 PM
Sounds like Michigan.... Nothing to do but drink and fark, and if you've seen the ladies.... Well. There's only drinking :p
 
2013-05-31 04:56:22 PM
I live in Alexandria and I'll be starting a two day drinking binge in about an hour, so I'm getting a kick out of this.

Yes it's an affluent area with alot of stressed out yuppy parents and their fat bratty kids (usually named Cooper or Brenton or some other pretentious crap), but I suspect those numbers are driven up partially by the large poor Hispanic population in the area.
 
2013-05-31 05:07:53 PM
Us Restonians would prefer you not touch us please.
 
2013-05-31 05:27:07 PM
Is bringe drinking when you binge drink on a bridge to save time jumping?
 
2013-05-31 05:47:11 PM
Born and raised in NoVA; learning to drink there was good training for living in Charlottesville (where you tend to think in terms of nights you DON'T drink (Monday and, uhm, nope, just Monday)).
 
2013-05-31 06:14:40 PM
Born and raised in NoVA. Left. Came back. Left again. Came back again. Finally left for good.

Too damned expensive. Too much traffic. And the general attitude of people in the area has really gone downhill over the past half-century. I go back to visit friends and relatives occasionally, but each time I go back there, I'm glad that I left there.

It's home, but it's not. That's really the best way to put it.

/too many ex-wives living there, too
 
2013-05-31 06:37:06 PM
My brother just moved to Ashburn, all I can do is mourn him.
 
2013-05-31 06:46:11 PM
It's their proximity to the Hell what is Washington, DC

/better them than me
 
2013-05-31 07:01:56 PM
<- Lived in Alexandria for a year in the mid-90s. I barely remember most of it.
 
2013-05-31 08:32:02 PM
Most of y'all Farkers in major Eastern metro areas, especially between Trenton and Richmond, would be far happier in central Kentucky, Louisville or even Lexington. And you might keep us even safer from depredation by the Jesus-crazed.

On the other hand you'd just drive up housing costs, bring more traffic and strain our aging sewers with your ironic hipster shiat.

So I'm torn over what to recommend.

Mass suicide sounds good!
 
2013-05-31 09:38:14 PM
I live in Alexandria too.

Yay drink!
 
2013-05-31 09:42:29 PM

Turfshoe: I live in Alexandria too.

Yay drink!


Say hello to Pat Troy for me.
 
2013-05-31 11:25:01 PM

Diogenes: I blame the traffic.

 It's so infuriating.  It just consumes your life.  When you finally get home, it's dark outside.  You don't want to talk to anybody.  Nobody knows their neighbors.  There is no sense of community.  Everyone just assumes that everyone else is an asshole and mostly they're right.
 
2013-06-01 12:29:20 AM
As a 25 year long Restonian that moved last year, I am homesick past all reason. I don't even care that everyone is a bunch of stuck up asshats, people spend so much time in their cars they risk growing roots into the frame, and housing is expensive. Stuck in the middle of nowhere with nothing to do sucks at least as much as NOVA.

And yes, specifying the "Northern" is critical. Even then it doesn't always help. Someone up here asked me if I "considered myself a Southerner" when she heard where I was from. I tried not to openly guffaw in her face.
 
2013-06-01 12:37:49 AM
I grew up in Springfield. I was pretty pissed when Dad retired us to CO. He was right on gtfo out of NoVa though. Fark that place.
 
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