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(Cleveland Scene)   The story of a Cleveland strip club bathroom attendant is as sad and captivating as you might imagine. (Bonus: George Brett and Dennis Rodman anecdotes)   (clevescene.com ) divider line
    More: Cool, bathroom attendant, Larry Flynt, bathrooms, Hustler Club  
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13856 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 May 2013 at 12:24 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-31 11:44:52 AM  
Fark bathroom attendants
 
2013-05-31 11:52:35 AM  

SnakeLee: Fark bathroom attendants


THIS!

They're creepy. I was in the Charlotte airport over the weekend and they have bathroom attendants. I don't want to walk into a public restroom and have a guy start talking to me, then I have to go into a stall and have him stand right outside the door to the stall while he hears me fart and sh*t, then I come out and he starts offering me a paper towel for a tip. I'm surprised they don't ask "I assume everything came out OK sir? I noticed your sh*t was extra stinky. Can I spray a little cologne around your bunghole area sir?"

I can get my own towel and don't need an "attendant" to use the bathroom. Go get a less demeaning job at McDonald's or something.
 
2013-05-31 12:04:30 PM  
/csb
I once took a stripper to a really nice restaurant which had bathroom attendants.  My stripper friend was young and evidently had never seen a bathroom attendant.  After having gone to the restroom, she told me that they had a "house mom" in the bathroom.
 
2013-05-31 12:17:58 PM  
They have an attendant at the On the Border club in Milwaukee. Didn't much care for his services.

/George Brett is awesome
 
2013-05-31 12:31:35 PM  

minoridiot: /csb
I once took a stripper to a really nice restaurant which had bathroom attendants.  My stripper friend was young and evidently had never seen a bathroom attendant.  After having gone to the restroom, she told me that they had a "house mom" in the bathroom.


I had to check your profile for kicks and shiggles. Now I have to ask, was this the same stripper mentioned? Because I would have to say that must be quite rare. I knew a guy who went that route....didn't work so well.
 
2013-05-31 12:36:30 PM  
Good article, but damn did that end on a down note.
 
2013-05-31 12:36:35 PM  
Bathroom attendants are there to narc on you.
 
2013-05-31 12:38:15 PM  
Seriously who likes bathroom attendants? I just want to get in and do my business without interacting with another human being.

Seems like a horrible way to make a living. Listening to and smelling people crapping all day long? I'd rather kill myself.
 
2013-05-31 12:38:58 PM  

BarkingUnicorn: Bathroom attendants are there to narc on you.


Mostly so the place doesn't stank like the womens restroom.
 
2013-05-31 12:40:30 PM  

Jument: Seriously who likes bathroom attendants? I just want to get in and do my business without interacting with another human being.

Seems like a horrible way to make a living. Listening to and smelling people crapping all day long? I'd rather kill myself.


That's one job that's the Webster's definition of "poor life choices."
 
2013-05-31 12:42:01 PM  
The worst I had was in Italy.  Not exactly attendants, but a mix of attendant and cleaner.  It was at a market/bar/gas station thing.  You jostled your way to the smooth wall that had a trough in the floor at the bottom and these old ladies would be all over the place cleaning the walls, sliding in between you and the guys way too close to you.  They had a metal bowl on a stand to throw your change in as you left.  I was not expecting old ladies to be able to see my junk much less to push you over to the side so they can scrub the wall you are pissing against.
 
2013-05-31 12:44:47 PM  

Walker: SnakeLee: Fark bathroom attendants

THIS!

They're creepy. I was in the Charlotte airport over the weekend and they have bathroom attendants. I don't want to walk into a public restroom and have a guy start talking to me, then I have to go into a stall and have him stand right outside the door to the stall while he hears me fart and sh*t, then I come out and he starts offering me a paper towel for a tip. I'm surprised they don't ask "I assume everything came out OK sir? I noticed your sh*t was extra stinky. Can I spray a little cologne around your bunghole area sir?"

I can get my own towel and don't need an "attendant" to use the bathroom. Go get a less demeaning job at McDonald's or something.


Aw, man, he's just there so people are too embarrassed to shiat all over the walls or jizz on the floor. Don't deny the dude a little idle conversation to pass the time.

(That said, I strongly suspect the people who seek out those jobs have some weird bathroom fetish.)
 
2013-05-31 12:45:00 PM  
s17.postimg.org
 
2013-05-31 12:45:04 PM  
Sam, Sam, the lavatory  man.................
 
2013-05-31 12:46:43 PM  
I used to work at a club with a tiny bathroom. It had an attendent in it. Jeezus it was so hard to pee with someone practically standing over you that you dont know. Just weird. I dont need a mint or cologne just need to do my business and wash up TYVM
 
2013-05-31 12:48:21 PM  
Hard to believe that I could like George Brett more than I already did, but there you go.

Same goes for Dennis Rodman, only the opposite.
 
2013-05-31 12:51:55 PM  
No lines of cocaine on the black marble countertop? What kind of place is this?
 
2013-05-31 12:52:12 PM  
Bathroom attendants used to be reserved for the kind of unpleasant places in America whose patrons refer to them as 'classy'.  Recently, though, I've seen a couple in Europe, and in one case even in an establishment that actually is pretty nice.  I don't know what the hell the world is coming to.  In France and Italy, they've always had these creeps in station toilets etc., but in those cases it's more of a plain old extortion thing and nobody has to pretend to be friendly.

Is there really a single living person who would prefer, rather than just pissing, to:

--Walk into someone else's space
--Interact with them
--Give them money.  The right SIZE of money, too, of course, as this follows tipping rules.
--Have someone else put a towel in their hand, put soap in their hand, or whatever, as if they were three years old

I don't tip these guys, but I do realize that it's fundamentally the fault of the establishment not the attendant as an individual.  I have therefore refrained thus far from verbally insulting, spitting on (except one time that was semi-accidental) or otherwise antagonizing these creeps.  I experience a growing frustration, though.  Is it that a few otherwise-nice venues have been taken over by managers who think we are impressed by this sort of thing?  Is it that the taste of the public is dumbing down to the point where people actually *like* having these attendants?  Or what?
 
2013-05-31 12:52:47 PM  
Always hated Scene articles... always come off as overly pretentious.
 
2013-05-31 12:53:47 PM  
 
2013-05-31 01:00:31 PM  
i1.ytimg.com
still loves his dad
 
2013-05-31 01:11:46 PM  

Anastacya: Always hated Scene articles... always come off as overly pretentious.


Especially when they use words like "erumpent".
 
2013-05-31 01:12:03 PM  
 
2013-05-31 01:13:47 PM  
Okay, so bathroom attendants are real. Not just a shiatcom invention. Backcountry guy says 'what?'
 
2013-05-31 01:15:09 PM  
Did anyone see those two strippers? Those were some good looking strippers.
 
2013-05-31 01:15:15 PM  
At my previous place of employment one of the custodial staff would routinely hang out in the bathroom making out his to-do list.  Didn't matter if anyone was taking a big gnarly dump or not.  Personally, if I walk into a bathroom at work and anyone is in a stall I finish ASAP and get the hell outta there.

I eventually mentioned to his supervisor that the guy was a weirdo.  His reply?  "That's nothing....you don't even want to know the really weird stuff."

WTF?
 
2013-05-31 01:20:56 PM  

Cybernetic: Anastacya: Always hated Scene articles... always come off as overly pretentious.

Especially when they use words like "erumpent".


csb:

I tried to get a job at Scene when I was 19. I was not laden with experience, but I was definitely qualified. I was lead through the offices and asked all sorts of questions, and I remember how everything was decorated in a modern, geometric way. The lady interviewing me kept talking about how much camaraderie there was in the office, and that they were open (they had glass partitions so that you could see everything that everyone was doing), and encouraged their employees to relax. Throw pillows were tossed all over and people were dressed like yuppies. I wasn't uptight enough to get the job, and was told that I wouldn't be a "good fit" for their family. I am eternally grateful to that woman; every Scene magazine that I picked up when I still lived in the Cleveland area got progressively worse and elitist, until you arrived at today.

Scene sometimes has interesting articles, and they certainly report on the seamier side of Cleveland life, their writing style comes off snobbish and rude. Every so often there would be an article about a topic that interested me, and afterward I always regretted reading it, the same way you regret sucking dick for pot and find out later that you smoked oregano.

/csb
 
2013-05-31 01:24:53 PM  
Be glad a lot of places have bathroom attendants, otherwise the shiater turns into a place of drug dealing/using, morons farking their significant others,  floors, walls, ceilings covered in shiat, piss, blood, jizz, etc.   The "creepy" bathroom attendant encourages people to do their business as fast as possible and get out.

As for this story, damn if Ohio isn't the most depressing state in the US.
 
2013-05-31 01:37:55 PM  
I can hold my own dick, thank you.
 
2013-05-31 01:42:27 PM  
In this case, I believe the bathroom attendant is there to wipe off spooge and to cater to the customers fantasy that they might get lucky (cologne, etc.). I met Door George before there. Fark Cleveland. The Flats are dying a slow death along with the rest of Cleveland (just got back to Cali after 8 long, tedious years there).
 
2013-05-31 01:44:05 PM  
I can make up to $800 a day in CASH and these are my co-workers...go fark yourself haters...signed George
 
2013-05-31 01:45:15 PM  
and the picture didnt post...fml
 
2013-05-31 01:50:26 PM  
 
2013-05-31 02:06:49 PM  

BarkingUnicorn: Bathroom attendants are there to narc on you.


When I was a strip club DJ, the bathroom attendant also sold pharmaceuticals.

There are many forms of currency inside the walls of a gentleman's club.
 
2013-05-31 02:13:37 PM  
I honestly don't see a big deal with bathroom attendants. It's a nasty job for sure, but especially in places like strip clubs and casinos it keeps people from loitering around and doing unsavory, illicit, or illegal stuff in the one place where it's illegal to put video cameras. It makes sense. I'm just thankful I don't have to do it.

Really well written story too, just one heck of a bummer at the end. The George Brett anecdote is awesome though - what a standup guy.
 
2013-05-31 02:16:42 PM  
I stopped reading as soon as I came across the term "Busch heavies" which is about the most idiotic state I've ever heard. I have heard it once before from a bunch of college freshmen talking about "Bud heavies". No, it's just called "Busch or Bud" at that point. There is nothing heavy about it
 
2013-05-31 02:22:41 PM  
That whole bathroom attendant thing is sort of stressful to me.  I feel sort of bad the guy made such crappy choices (pun intended) in life he's now relegated to listening to me take a shiat.

And I've been to plenty of strip clubs (when I was younger), fancy hotel/restaurants or whatever that still employ these guys but I still don't know what to give them.  I just give them a couple bucks.

The sleazy side of me does wonder if you slip the guy in the article a good tip whether he will be able to direct you to the right stripper for the uh... better services, or if you want to score some coke.  In that sense, he's useful.
 
2013-05-31 02:36:53 PM  

ModernPrimitive01: I stopped reading as soon as I came across the term "Busch heavies" which is about the most idiotic state I've ever heard. I have heard it once before from a bunch of college freshmen talking about "Bud heavies". No, it's just called "Busch or Bud" at that point. There is nothing heavy about it


Kind of ironical.

My dad's friend used to call it "Diet Bud."

Also, yeah, bathroom attendants are wierd.  My wallet is open enough in strip club, I'd like to leave it in my pocket in one freakin room thanks.  I already learned how to work a faucet and a paper towel dispenser too.
 
2013-05-31 02:38:16 PM  
The worst bathroom attendant experience I had was in Tijuana.  I was at a club and as you entered the bathroom the woman standing at the door would count out 5 toilet paper squares to give you.  That was all you got and there was no other paper products in the restroom.  This was at one of the nicer clubs too.  So glad I only had to pee.
 
2013-05-31 02:43:30 PM  
I thought the story would be about the time Brett pooped his pants, but it was even better.
 
2013-05-31 02:44:39 PM  
If the attendant makes the difference between a pleasantly cleaned room and a nasty, filthy one, I'm not above tipping for that service.

The small-talk I can do without; but I hate small-talk in general.
 
2013-05-31 02:48:15 PM  
A professional 'Uncle Ted?!'

And who wrote that 'article?'
 
2013-05-31 02:50:20 PM  
There is a disturbing lack of stripper photos in this thread.

that is all...
 
2013-05-31 02:51:10 PM  

powhound: minoridiot: /csb
I once took a stripper to a really nice restaurant which had bathroom attendants.  My stripper friend was young and evidently had never seen a bathroom attendant.  After having gone to the restroom, she told me that they had a "house mom" in the bathroom.

I had to check your profile for kicks and shiggles. Now I have to ask, was this the same stripper mentioned? Because I would have to say that must be quite rare. I knew a guy who went that route....didn't work so well.


No, a different stripper.  I'm still married to the one I marred in Vegas.
 
2013-05-31 03:12:01 PM  

scubamage: The George Brett anecdote is awesome though - what a standup guy.


Oh man, that's not even that good of a George Brett story. Don't get me wrong, George Brett is a class act, but if you haven't heard him at Royals spring training talking about pooping his pants, you haven't heard a good George Brett story.

Best part of the video in the link above is when George is following around some poor guy so he can finish talking about laying waste to his trousers on the sidewalk in Vegas.
 
2013-05-31 03:36:16 PM  
The ones at the Mayan in LA were actually selling snacks and other food items. Oh yeah, nothing like some popcorn that's been marinating in the smell of the john for who knows how long.

In Thailand, the attendants will come up behind you while you're taking a piss and give you a shoulder massage.
 
2013-05-31 03:40:53 PM  
ShawnDoc:  In Thailand, the attendants will come up behind you while you're taking a piss and give you a shoulder massage.

Yeah, in some clubs I went to either in Manila or some Chinese mainland cities (I can't recall which), the attendents will massage you while you are washing your hands.

They don't do that while you are pissing.  That would be a bit disconcerting, since they are men.
 
2013-05-31 03:43:38 PM  
Cool tag?  Really?   One of the more depressing articles I've read in a while.
 
2013-05-31 04:01:09 PM  
Bathroom attendant = Vacate the premises immediately... HEY VALET! FETCH ME MY FERRARI!
 
2013-05-31 04:05:28 PM  
I asked bathroom attendants in different clubs what percentage of guys washed their hands.  The consensus was about 70%.

I passed that info along to the strippers, who  were not amused.
 
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